Back to School (1986) Soundboard Edit

A merger, exactly. Exactly, a merger.

A very good night.

Actually, I'd like to join you, but I have class tonight.

All right, let's see one more.

All right? Look, I gotta go, OK?

All right.

All we have is martinis and champagne.

And also, bring a pitcher of beer...

And D... production and operations.

And don't get any on the walls.

And he holds it sacred

And I thought...

And I'm really in love with you...

And me...

And now that I've got your attention...

And sport coats in all the larger sizes...

And the reason guys like you got a place to teach...

And you know what else?

And you, my father, there on the sad height.

And you're 30 to 40 years older than our average freshman...

Anybody here?

Are you interested in Valerie Desmond?

Are you jealous of Thornton Melon?

At the zoo, do elephants throw you peanuts?

Because at Thornton Melon's Tall and Fat stores...

Because I shouldn't even have been there.

Because... get this, towel boy...

Bring him along. We may run out of ice.

Busting my hump in the real world.

But he must be studying at the dorm.

But I guess a guy like you doesn't need luck.

By a diving coach in this conference.

By F. Scott Fitzgerald.

C... labor management;

Certainly not.

Come on, come on, come on, baby

Dad, I know how much all this means to you...

David, I just want to get it on record...

Do you study at the library every night?

Don't worry. If the roast beef is right, they'll be back.

During sex, Vanessa used to scream out her own name

Flunk me? Flunk him.

For us to break ground here today...

Four ugly kids, and good coffee.

Get him!

Good answer. Good answer.

Good.

Greater than the supply of gold the country held.

He told you to write down everything I say?

He's on my substitute roster...

Here's you and Giorgio in the guest room.

Hey, buddy, come here, will you?

Hey, buddy!

Hey, folks, it's on me! Shakespeare for everyone, OK?

Hey, Jase.

Hey, remember, hold that pike longer.

Hey, Valerie. How you doin'?

Hey, what's a bath without Bubbles?

Hey! Adam and evil.

Hold it, hold it! Oh, you are there!

Hold it, hold it. Why build? You're better off leasing...

Honey, here's a pen.

How about Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?

How come all our furniture has names?

How to read and write.

I can't take it no more.

I don't believe this.

I don't know. They'll let me know.

I don't think so, Osbourne.

I got an idea.

I had a lot of fun, Thornton.

I have some spare time this evening.

I hold history very sacred. Sacred.

I just had dinner!

I just think I'd be a lot better off...

I just want to see you happy.

I know you don't think like that.

I know, but I'm not making it here.

I know, but the guy doesn't understand.

I learned a lot.

I learned this in Europe.

I love three girls at once.

I said, yes, I will, yes.

I saw the movie. Burl lves.

I think Mr. Melon should be expelled.

I took care of you, too.

I want to work in the shop with you.

I want to write that paper. I'm gonna write that paper.

I wouldn't break my arm...

I'll tell you what.

I'm getting my ass kicked all over the place!

I'm really sorry.

I've got the results of your exams right here.

If it's too much for you...

In 27 parts.

In fact, I think he was. Just keep your head down...

Intellectual curiosity, Philip.

Is the kind of business that it actually is.

It serves you guys right.

It was a really big check.

It was an honest mistake. Let's just call it a bad day.

It's a dead man's party

It's for Barbay. Make it an A

It's just bullshit.

Jason, I said it before and I'll say it again.

Jason, it's up to you. You can do it.

Jason! I was lookin' for ya.

Jennifer, you look divine.

Let me get this straight, Mr. Melon.

Like I showed you

Look, Chas, there's a lot of people waiting.

Me and Standish and Redding are doing the anti pep rally...

Melon! We need ya!

Melon's dive has put the Hooters back in this meet.

Mr. Melon, I'd like for you to meet Dr. Philip Barbay...

Mr. Melon, we have a serious offer...

My first wife, Jason's mother, I really loved her.

No matter how hard you try...

No offense.

No, nothin', nothin'.

No.

No. Maybe.

Not bad.

Not bad.

Not that low, baby.

Not yet, but I'm looking forward to it.

Obnoxious, nouveau riche little phlebe...

Of our new Melon School of Business.

Of what you can't see

Oh, Christ, Osbourne...

Oh, do me!

Oh, don't lose it

Oh, no. I never get physical. I just get upset...

Oh, Philip, you darling.

Oh, thanks. And, Marge, I need...

Oh, yeah?

Oh. Where you going?

OK, go ahead.

OK, then. I'll do it with you.

On the advantaged and the aggressive...

On your commercial property in south Florida...

One, two.

Part one: Define and differentiate...

Right after this drink.

Right, Dad? Come on, party, right?

Right. Look, I'm sorry, Chas. I'll get on it as soon as I can.

Seems like yesterday.

Shake it, baby

Slugging it out with him, while pussies like you...

So classes don't start up again for another week.

So he could feel my breasts all perfumed, yes...

So it's really up to them, I guess

So, rather than waste your time this semester...

Take it all, all right? And just remember...

Take it easy, will ya?

Than the solar mass per cubic parsec.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, Buzzy. I appreciate it.

Thanks, that helps a lot.

That Mr. Melon has shown towards our fine university.

That their dolls are orphans.

That was great!

That you're completely regressed emotionally...

That's right... fine woolen and woolen blend suits...

That's the problem.

That's what I call marine biology.

The heavy, disassociated artist thing...

The Melon man is throwing the greatest party of all time!

The Northern University Wildcats!

The three economic philosophies...

The way a farmer looks at the Earth and holds it sacred.

Then let's just say they're widgets.

There's nothing like good, clean business, huh?

They want me to take oral exams in all my subjects.

This is college. Let me think for a minute.

This is the way I always pictured it.

This isn't real. College is a dream world.

Thornton, what does that poem mean to you?

To put me on the team. Real good!

Today, they're independent.

Took the United States off the gold standard.

Valerie, please. It'll be horrible.

Wait a minute, Thornton.

Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?

Want to come in? Dad?

We should be together. Incorporated, if you will.

We were kids, his room was always in order.

We'll see how much fun he is then.

We've got a lot to cover, and time is short.

We've got you covered.

Well, Dr. Barbay, I suppose you're up first.

Well, I guess this is good night.

Well, take a good look!

What are you doing here?

What are you gonna do?

What did it mean? What is he today?

What else?

What's that noise?

What's with the midget over here?

When I used to dream about going to college...

Where I was a flower of the mountain.

Where is he?

Who could ask for more

Who gave me the A?

Who, Lou? Lou's an animal. Why, in his family...

Whoa, hold it. You sure you even got the right guy?

Why don't you call me when you have no class?

Will you love me no matter what?

With a sense of decency.

With the discussion, Mr. Helper.

Without the interference of your actor and director...

Work it on out, honey

Yeah, I love you, too. All right. Bye bye.

Yeah.

Yeah. If that dress had pockets, you'd look like a pool table.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Yes, he did.

Yes, it is.

You call this a report card?

You could've changed here.

You don't need this. I'll find you an organ grinder

You elitist fraternity scumbag.

You got six closets full of nothing to wear.

You look like the poster boy for birth control.

You passed! All Ds and an A.

You will never, ever pass this course.

You'll see the final bottom line requires the factoring in...

You're pinned to a sophomore named Chip

and I'm sorry I lied to you. You don't have to lie to me.

And? And I think...

Great. I'll give you my address.

I did. Oh, yeah?

I know you. Oh, yeah? Here's a pen.

I lied. Great. That explains it, huh?

I'll call him. I'll dial it!

She's a lovely gal. Oh, yes, she is.

Those two ought to get a room. Really.

Yeah, OK. OK.

'Cause we're already waiting.