Everybody Wants Some!! Edit

A double chamber cooling system on that thing.

A good bet would be, I don't know,

A holdover from primitive humans

A probabilistic framework and projecting meaning

A. A minus.

About beating those fuckers from Arizona.

About how he has an average cock.

After you went to all that trouble.

Ah, give me a second.

Ah, I'm pretty sure that'd be Whitman.

Ah, we noticed that you never made it home last night.

Ah!

Ah. A, fuck you. B, bye.

Ah. C, she say if her roommate's gonna be there?

Ah. Not very healthy.

Ah...

Alcoholic beverage in there. I'll be danged.

Alex Brumley, outfield.

All baseball players out of here! I mean it!

All his shit's gone, man.

All night if you want to. I don't really care.

All of our true assholish nature is emerging.

All right now, boys, it's Billy Autrey, okay?

All right then.

All right,

All right, 307. Help me remember that?

All right, boys, let's go!

All right, boys. All right, bring it up, bring it up!

All right, crank it up!

All right, fellas, who's gonna be the first poor fuck

All right, freshman ping pong champ.

All right, her antennas are out.

All right, I beg you. No, I implore you

All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs. I'm a river rat.

All right, I gotta say,

All right, I realize that I wouldn't know how to make it

All right, listen up, good first practice.

All right, look, y'all, so a buddy of mine told me that last year,

All right, man, he just don't like losing at anything.

All right, Mr. Rabbit.

All right, new guy coming in, getting all the ladies.

All right, smartass.

All right, that's a fucking stare down!

All right, think about this.

All right! Jake! Where you fucking been, man?

All right! Our lucky year!

All right?

All right? But you just gotta remain calm,

All right? This is where it all starts.

All right.

All right.

All right. I'll see you guys in a bit.

All right. Jake Bradford

All right. Mac, you got something?

All the adrenaline!

All the guys around here punch me

All the way.

All these people never be anything more than

All we talk about is pussy.

All you talk about is baseball!

ALL: (CHANTING SOFTLY) Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake.

ALL: (CHANTING) Dale! Dale! Dale! Dale!

ALL: Batting practice!

ALL: Beuter!

ALL: Later, Beuter!

ALL: No, no, no, no!

ALL: Oh!

ALL: Oh!

ALL: Theater party!

Almost every single episode.

Also, I'm taking a leap this year on two transfers,

Although I doubt it's gonna have an immediate impact

Always. It'll set you free.

Amityville? More like Amity vile

And a big ass joint on top.

And all that fun stuff?

And all you guys' constant fuckwithery.

And apparently the party's a first weekend tradition.

And Billy Autrey, both freshman pitchers.

And by the way, she was really fucking cute.

And check out my album collection, you know?

And don't forget, he does have

And everybody else on this team.

And everyone else is, like, hideous.

And from Detroit, Jay Niles.

And here we are, punks for a night.

And his 95 mile an hour fastball?

And I like you.

And I'm already pulling in the groupies, man!

And I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

And I'm not afraid to stick it in and break it off from day one!

And I've never seen anything like that.

And if you're not serious about that, you might as well go home.

And it stops around my knee

And it was a great place to be able to cultivate the thing

And it's best two out of three, okay?

And it's competitive, man.

And it's gonna be really fun.

And just kinda... (CLICKS TONGUE)

And just talks about what a pro prospect he is.

And living the college life.

And making you believe it,

And musical theater kids...

And nearly knocked his eyeball out of its socket.

And not only do those guys not give a fuck about you,

And now we're just gonna be hoping to get cast in anything.

And now, I can officially welcome you to Oz.

And said that? No.

And she's running them through the wringer, okay?

And special crumpets,

And start doing the actual game?

And temptations, and things like that.

And that, my friend, is when it gets fun.

And the eight of you living next door,

And the trick is, what's the trick?

And then pour about half of that.

And then some.

And there's a lot of talent around.

And they almost knocked me in the nuts.

And this dude on the porch?

And told the coach this afternoon.

And until you do, you're nobody.

And we could get hopped up on the tea and the crumpets.

And we used to be telepathic.

And we're always ranked nationally.

And we're there.

And we've agreed to be responsible for them.

And when you do get there, ask for me, Kenny Roper.

And when you do that, you bring who you are,

And where's, uh, San Luis Obispo?

And while that might only seem moderately compelling on paper,

And work hard all year, right?

And yet it is a complete mystery to them.

And you got your albums.

And you immature jerkoffs just fucked up my whole rap!

And you think the way things are going now

And, guys, correct me if I'm wrong,

Angie, you look amazing.

Anybody spotted him?

Anybody who fucks with me, they don't get fucked with back!

Anytime.

Anyway, you guys all pass?

Are you a competitor? Are you a gamer?

Are you gonna ask me to dance, or are you just gonna stand there?

Are you insecure about the duck feet?

Are you kidding me?

Are you liking it?

Are you prepared to fold like a lawn chair?

Are you the guy that says,

Are you trying to... Pete Ward ain't real?

Aren't most athletes kind of...

Artsy fartsy theater major friends.

As evidenced by this ill fated and ill advised adventure

As I was saying before Billy interrupted

As of right now, but hey, don't let them know.

As they go along, you know?

As you like together down here.

Assuming, you know, you have natural ability.

Astrology? Mr. Cause and Effect Rationalist? (LAUGHS)

At his own peril,

Attaboy, Dale.

Bachelor number one!

Bachelor number one.

Bachelor number two? Are you there?

Back from wherever the hell it is you came from.

Back off! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

Ball in!

Basketball team hasn't won shit.

Be my guest.

Be responsible out there this weekend, okay?

Because corporate America is shoving something down your throat

Because he was just able to do so without it.

Because that's what they want you to believe.

Been working out.

Beer for breakfast My Cap'n Crunch

Below the chest bone in the solar plexus,

Best costume ever. Amazing.

Best out of three.

Beuter Perkins.

BEUTER: Did you get hit, Jacob?

BEUTER: I'll let you boys deal with that hocus pocus junk.

BEUTER:...and his answer is, his answer is,

BEVERLY: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Bachelor number three,

BEVERLY: Ah!

BEVERLY: Bachelor number two!

BEVERLY: Is this your first choice school, or...

BEVERLY: Rock 'n' roll isn't about being

BEVERLY: What's one kiss from...

Bibliography! Annotated! Highlighted!

Big difference.

Bitch.

Borrowing this.

BOTH: Fire.

BOTH: Lesbians.

BOTH: What?

BOTH: Yeah!

Bottom line is this, her friends are gonna ask,

BOUNCER: Let's go! Come on!

Boy, they call me Billy A

Boy, you better stay out of my way

Bradford!

Breaking the alcohol rule.

BRUM: Guy's a fucking loon.

BRUM: He doesn't throw 95. PLAYER 2: No.

BRUM: Hey, you're still the champ!

BRUM: The fuck is wrong with that guy?

BRUM: Whoo!

BRUM: Yeah, sure thing, dude.

Brum!

Bullshit!

Bullshit! You're on the team now, baby!

Bullshit. Bullshit. Just...

Bunch of fucking numb nuts!

But beyond that, I'm not counting on anything.

But finding the tangents within the framework,

But he doesn't want us to be there.

But he loved baseball and he just wanted to keep playing.

But I assure you...

But I discovered that they actually

But I don't know.

But I feel like it's important to give back, you know?

But I go to class when I say I go to class.

But I told them I'm going to college for a couple of years.

But I'm here to make some noise

But I'm pretty sure that that is a new school record.

But I'm pretty sure they're just making it up

But it turns out that she's beautiful,

But it's almost like they view us as a necessary evil.

But it's not helping out any of your fucking teammates.

But it's the same thing that you're saying with the performing arts.

But my name is Beverly.

But now that I don't play

But so is everything else in life.

But there's only 25 of us. We're the best team on campus.

But they think he's been doing this to other colleges.

But we got a big fall schedule.

But we were so ridiculous.

But we'd like to invite you to a baseball party with...

But we're not gonna be friends or anything like that.

But what you limp cocks don't seem to realize

But why, you know?

But you are the official frontrunner

But you only gotta be passing nine to be eligible.

But, hey, they said a few years back,

But, I mean, half the guys in this house

But, uh, wow, I'm glad you called. That was quick.

But, you know, what about school? Like, what do I take?

By that asshole in the car back there.

By the way, you know what?

Bye, Beuter! Beuter.

Bye.

Bye. Call me later?

Call it! Wake up!

Can I borrow you for something really quickly?

Can we fucking play now?

Can you give us a moment?

Carefully get under said moose...

Carl Sagan knows the universe is eternal

Cats shouldn't be in fridges.

Cha chao!

Cheers for the beers.

Cheers. To a beautiful night.

Cherokee chow Coo coo capow in Texas

Cherokees are never leavin ' the top... Douglas

Cho!

Chug it, Justin! Go, go, go, go, go!

College is the fucking greatest!

Coma, wake up!

COMA: Go get some glasses, Brumley.

COMA: Hit it to me! The ball's coming to me!

COMA: The only thing you killed tonight

COMA: Yeah, I think that, too.

Come on, it's right in front of you, brother.

Come on, Jake!

Come on, man. What about Costello or the Talking Heads?

Come on, no one on their deathbed is filled with regrets

Come on, Plum, we're friends, man.

Come on, y'all, my name ain't Beuter. Okay, guys? It's Billy Autrey.

Come on.

Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax. Strong Man.

Coming around talking shit like that.

Coming at you! Coming at you!

Coming full circle.

Competitors ready? Go!

Confident...

Cool, yeah, okay.

Cool.

Cotton Eyed Joe.

Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.

Couple of guys are gonna go burn this with me

Crank it up, sweetheart! Come on, baby!

Curious and curiouser.

DALE AND FINN: (CHANTING) Jake! Jake!

Dale, you're confusing him.

DALE: Besides baseball and pussy?

DALE: Damn. Hey.

DALE: Finn's in his average cock mode.

DALE: Get ready, boys, your college careers are about to begin.

DALE: God damn it, Plummer!

DALE: Hey, look,

DALE: Oh, Thompson? He's a football player.

DALE: Sweet double, McReynolds!

DALE: Thanks, man.

DALE: Until we get out on the field, Jakie.

DALE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

DALE: Whoo!

DALE: You're gonna be squashed, Jake.

Damn, put some pants on, man.

Danced the Cotton Eyed Joe in kicker attire,

Dancer chicks have great asses.

Dancers... (RETCHING)

Dang, that sure is Lone Star. That's alcohol right there.

Desperate for pussy! (LAUGHS)

Did he just call his dick a joke?

Did he just flick a lime in my drink?

Did he just throw the ball in the fucking parking lot?

Did I ask you guys to be in my room right now?

Did I ever say that? No, okay?

Did I say that? No.

Did you give her two solid inches, Beuter?

Did you meet the brain trust that perpetrated such a folly,

Did you tell her?

Dismount.

Do it all wrong

Do you also hate guys that are athletic, intelligent,

Do you guys wanna try a little telepathic shit?

Do you, uh, maybe wanna continue this conversation in person?

Does she have blue eyes and a big ass like you? Huh?

Does that mean you're not going?

Don't act like you don't like me just because I got good hair!

Don't bring him back here again, you get me?

Don't bring your ass around here!

Don't fuck it up to make it all right

Don't fuck it up, man. Let's go.

Don't get low.

Don't just put it on your neck. Come on.

Don't make me say it again.

Don't shoot you from the absolute front row.

Don't talk to me when I'm hitting.

Don't tell me you're flying blind into this thing.

Don't want the program taken down by a piece of poontang.

Don't you guys have class or something?

Don't you, Plum?

Down at that Jolly Fox and Sound Machine, or whatever.

Dr. Finnegan, so epicurean Indulge in the BMOC

Drink my cup

Drop one class, blow off another.

Dude, did you guys hear?

Dude, how great is this?

Dude, I don't know. I mean, she's cool.

Dude, I was thinking about sharks.

Dude, it's like a secret identity!

Dude, some chick on the line, man.

Dude, the whole team's tried it.

Dude, you're staring, he's cool.

Dude! No cover and free beer.

E, 'cause I think I'm gonna, you know,

Either way, you're fucked. Give it up, Beuter Perkins.

Ended up with that tall chick in the leather, you know,

Enough with that, Jake here Just a chill dude

Erica's such a bitch.

Especially when we're freshman friends.

Even his own teammates.

Even if it looks futile to others.

Even taking hits from bongs. (CHUCKLES)

Even though he knows I'm the reigning knuckles champ.

Everybody here was the best in their high school,

Everybody I know drinks a fucking screwdriver.

Everybody up!

Everybody's got to be there.

Exactly.

Except for Nez, of course, 'cause he's still a virgin.

Except for, I think... This one.

Expand the universe Make it shudder and spasm

Feel the freak!

Filled with Greek gods who care.

Finding simple reasons for things they don't understand.

Fine. Fine.

Finger in the solar plexus, count of three, try to sit up.

Finn, I'm seriously worried about these new guys. I mean...

Finn, me, and Coma We got Mac in between

FINN: Act like you've read a book before. Jeez.

FINN: Ah, you mean when a girl asks? That's easy.

FINN: Dude, this is a good example

FINN: Go get him, kid.

FINN: How's that for incentive?

FINN: I know a lot about the human body,

FINN: I've already done the calculations based on its usage thus far,

FINN: It's creepy! ROPER: Tell me about it.

FINN: It's impossible. I...

FINN: It's not about the ingredients,

FINN: Jeez, ball hit the mitt before you ever even swung.

FINN: Listen.

FINN: Mmm hmm, ooh, look at what we have here.

FINN: Mmm hmm.

FINN: Ouch! ROPER: Not my fault she's a bitch.

FINN: Right there, Volkswagen.

FINN: See, the perfect rim ingredients keep the drink on its toes.

FINN: See, we can deduce from that,

FINN: See, you can tell a lot about somebody

FINN: She's testing you. She's trying to gauge your response.

FINN: Take notes, boys.

FINN: This is college, Jake, all right?

FINN: Uh oh. JAKE: What?

FINN: We all tried it. ROPER: No. It's impossible.

FINN: We can agree.

FINN: Well, I can't do any worse. ROPER: Here we go.

FINN: Whatever, girls.

FINN: Yeah, any second.

FINN: Yeah, something's always revealed, like...

FINN: You gotta notice the clues, Rope.

FINN: You know, nobody really realizes how much water weighs.

FINN: You're seriously trying?

Finn?

Finn's got his dick in the door.

First cousin, Finn.

First scrimmage game, not even an official practice,

Five bucks says we never see him again.

Flier than a Cutlass Supreme

For the amount of smoke there's gonna be.

For the Freshman Numb Nut of the Year award, right, guys?

For you vets, I expect you to show the new guys around.

Four screwdrivers One fat straw, baby!

Freshman superstars.

Freshman Ty Plummer, catcher.

Friends don't strike out friends,

From all the guys talking about how huge they are.

From California, senior Charlie Willoughby.

From disco snatch to country poon. All right?

From these stupid little competitions.

Fuck Gretchen!

Fuck it, man.

Fuck it!

Fuck it! I'll fucking run home.

Fuck losing the playoffs. We're taking it all this year.

Fuck that shit.

Fuck that. We're taking that shit this year.

Fuck this guy.

Fuck yeah!

Fuck you, Sound Machine! Let's fucking go!

Fuck you! Fuck you, you jackoffs!

Fuck, Brumley, you've seriously asked that at every bar.

Fuck, that guy's weird.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck.

Fuck's that mean? Let's fucking go.

Fuckin A, man! Okay! Okay!

Fucking balls.

Fucking crazy.

Fucking little jealous asshole crap

Fucking looney tune.

Fucking mahogany rush, man.

Fucking nailed that!

Fucking swing the bat, man.

Fucking thing wasn't even half full.

Full throttle to the bottle.

Fun. How was yours?

Get all your stuff.

Get drunk, later that night

Get in here! You're up!

Get it on there, man.

Get it under your arms and on your chest.

Get out of my shot.

Get the ball now.

Get them out! Right now. Get them out.

Get what over?

Get your ass ready. Let's go.

Gimme some dap! Gimme some dap!

GIRL: Hey.

GIRL: So, you've had your chart done?

GIRL: You're into astrology? FINN: Of course.

Give me a fucking break. Finn. Finn. Finn.

Give me the room alone for a bit.

Glamorous or hip, it's a force.

Glen, get your head out of your fucking ass! Let's go!

Go get that ball, I'll fucking sign it for you.

Go show her them albums.

God damn it!

God, am I the only person living in reality here?

God. Listen to this song.

Going on around here, you know?

Golly gee, you're good. You're good.

Good grief, guys, come on now.

Good hit.

Good job, baby! Good job!

Good, bad, doesn't matter.

Good! Then don't.

GORDAN: If you haven't met yet,

GORDAN: Sit down.

GORDAN: Yup. I'm sorry.

Got both of them.

Got the lead in every play,

Got your joke right here.

Gotta get some meat on that boy's bones.

Grant her the old Finnegasm. Here, I'm coming with you.

Guy's gonna have a fucking aneurysm on the mound.

Guys, were we supposed to wear a costume?

Guys.

Guys. Hey, guys. I got a new plan.

Ha ha!

Hands on the wheel and fondue my cheese

Has he told you about his average cock?

Has he told... Finn! Did you tell her, Finn?

Have a clue, freshman. The dorms suck.

Have you noticed, whenever we're around baseball,

Having the guts to look fucking stupid.

He broke the fucking paddle. Look at that shit.

He does not like losing, at all!

He just left one thing, man.

He said something about that, didn't he?

He was a good guy.

He was a great guy.

He would have.

He's 30! Like, he's 30 fucking years old!

He's an animal husbandry major.

He's being modest.

He's not a bad guy. He just got caught.

He's this intense fuck from Detroit,

Heading to the Student Center.

Hear that?

Hell, you got 21, 22 year old guys over there

Hello, Beverly.

Helping decorate for a party at Oz.

Here for a good time, not a long time, right?

Here you go, Plum.

Here, you're on your own.

Here.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Hey there, freshman,

Hey, Alex Brumley.

Hey, and, you,

Hey, at least it was before practice, all right?

Hey, Beuter, this your new roommate.

Hey, Brum, go get some drinks, man.

Hey, check your pillows, man!

Hey, Coma, Pete Ward just saw your first hit, man.

Hey, Coma.

Hey, do you live in those new baseball houses?

Hey, Finn, did you mention hung?

Hey, girls, how you doing? I'm Roper.

Hey, good game, man. Let's play again.

Hey, good one, McReynolds.

Hey, guys The name's Alex Brumley

Hey, guys, guys, Plum and bitch boy think

Hey, guys! We got a 2nd Team All Stater among us!

Hey, guys.

Hey, have you noticed everything around here's a competition, huh?

Hey, hold on, hey, I'm not saying you guys can't come, all right?

Hey, I don't think we really fit in here.

Hey, I'm just gonna tell you something right now.

Hey, I'm sure afraid to hit off you, 2nd Team All State.

Hey, it's part of the scholarship.

Hey, Jacob.

Hey, Jake, man, I'm sorry, all right?

Hey, Jake, you're still not saying where that party is.

Hey, ladies please pass me another

Hey, ladies, uh...

Hey, ladies! Happy hour is upon us at the Fox.

Hey, look, you gotta start the semester with 12 hours, all right?

Hey, man, what position do you play?

Hey, man, you gotta appreciate it while it lasts, you know?

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

Hey, motherfucker! Let's go, fucking Pancho Villa!

Hey, screwdriver! Okay?

Hey, shake something, don't break something.

Hey, so, Pops, you pick out a name yet?

Hey, that's not really fair.

Hey, that's what I'm talking about, man.

Hey, wait. Hey, no.

Hey, what position do you play?

Hey, where's my helmet at?

Hey, which one you going after?

Hey, who's that douchebag she's dancing with?

Hey, yeah, I just want a fucking drink, man.

Hey, you guys sure Coach isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?

Hey, you guys want a beer? Come on.

Hey, you return that with one scratch on it, Nez...

Hey, you see what I see?

Hey, you still with Gretchen?

Hey, you're the quiet guy in the back seat, Jake.

Hey! Man child here thinks he can take me.

Hey! No, you fucking stay.

Hey! Shut off the hose!

Hey.

Hey. Chapter 9 will blow your mind.

Hey. So, what do you study?

Hi, guys. I'm Beverly.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Debra Kadabra.

Hi. It's the quote unquote "auburn haired girl in 307."

History. You?

Hit it, bitch, I'm 95 strong

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Holy shit! Justin?

Holy shit.

Hopefully be a positive influence on them.

How about that? Hey, Jacob, didn't Coach Gordan say this afternoon

How can I amuse you this morning?

How did you even, like... (CLICKS TONGUE)

How did you know what room I was in?

How do you spell "Beuter," by the way?

How late is she?

How'd that guy end up here?

How'd you do?

How's that sound?

How's that sound?

How's this?

HSPVA.

Huh.

Huh.

Huh. Well, Jake, it's so interesting, 'cause I feel like there...

Humans were telepathic, man.

I actually don't think at all. I just, you know, I talk a lot.

I actually don't think that much.

I ain 't really a fan of that attitude

I ain't never put it in a pig!

I already told you, Jake, this ain't high school, man.

I assume, being a new (IN DEEP VOICE) teammate.

I bet she has a big ass.

I call the whole game but they call me dumb

I can tell, man.

I concentrate on theater and dance, performing arts.

I didn't get beat up or anything.

I didn't mention hung, Dale, not yet.

I didn't say that.

I do.

I don't care if he grew up on 40 fucking rivers,

I don't know about this country bar, man.

I don't know if you guys are doing anything tonight,

I don't know where the hell you think you're going.

I don't know, just based on an outsider's perspective,

I don't know, man.

I don't know, man. (SNIFFS)

I don't know, man. Finn's got that Leeann chick in there.

I don't know, man. I kinda like Van Halen.

I don't know.

I don't know. Tell me.

I don't think you could use that one, though.

I don't wanna embarrass you in front of all your new

I drink a fucking screwdriver!

I feel great with those odds.

I feel like the Astros are gonna make it to the World Series.

I feel the same way about performing.

I found it to be a good litmus test.

I get it. I get it. I get it!

I got seven of my bucks back! Ha ha! Let's do it!

I got shit to do. I'll do some pushups.

I got the sun and the stars In the palm of my hand

I gotta get up early for registration in the morning.

I guess not.

I had a stack of offers about that high, that high.

I hate all this Cotton Eyed Joe,

I hate this game.

I heard, "The guy in the back seat,

I just implied you guys might be bored, that's all.

I just took Sisyphus and baseball,

I kinda hate talking on the phone for extended periods of time.

I know that for a fucking fact!

I know that I only have been here for a few days,

I know where I'm going with it before he even gets it to me.

I know, he thinks he can. All right.

I like her.

I like the quiet guy in the back seat,

I like to chew and a spit And throw a ball a little bit

I like you, too.

I liked him.

I love Nez.

I love this time of year.

I love this. What, is it pledge week?

I mean, Billy. Uh...

I mean, girls, they come up to me out of the blue and they say,

I mean, guys, it's about finding out who you are

I mean, language, fucking language. What is language?

I mean, the point of the whole thing is that

I mean, we have our first practice this afternoon, but yeah.

I mean, what are we doing?

I mean, yeah, it's ridiculous to roll a boulder

I mean, you got your whole room to yourself for the weekend,

I mean, you gotta tune in, man. You gotta tune in.

I might've encountered up your ass crack.

I reckon he'll be out of there before too long, won't he?

I stay busy chopping girls' cherry trees

I swear to fucking God! Shut your mouth!

I think I got a tear in my eye, Jakie.

I think it's a little bit of both.

I think we should.

I think we've already started engraving his name on the plaque.

I think you've had enough, raw dog.

I think.

I thought his name was Billy Autrey.

I thought it was like a light, like a shadow on your lip, but it...

I told you so, man.

I took special care. I didn't say that word, okay?

I wanna give it a shot.

I wanna see what room she's in.

I want a full report on my desk by the end of the day.

I was definitely messing with them, but I meant what I said.

I was just implying that this party might not be

I was just testing you. You pass.

I was saying "impossible," and then when you put the...

I was talking her language, I was meeting her on her level.

I will.

I wish I had a tail. Fuck, that'd be awesome.

I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

I... This is supposed to be fun, and now I'm not having fun.

I'd appreciate that, all right?

I'd be on the phone moping to my girlfriend. Why?

I'd like to introduce you to the new guys on the team.

I'd rather die a virgin than say my chart says

I'd still be a virgin, all right?

I'll come over the bar and show you a good time.

I'll come show you a good time.

I'll do some pushups, do some abs. I'll come back looking awesome!

I'll fucking go home.

I'll give you freshmen a little advice

I'll go back in late summer, graduate, do that thing.

I'll head over pretty soon then.

I'll let you know when I feel threatened.

I'll make a good father someday.

I'll make you feel loved while Willy's getting high

I'll read a book.

I'll shove it up your ass and I'll sign it!

I'll show you my buns if the booze is free

I'll sweep you off your feet No need to be crude

I'm a fucking pro prospect, too, and you know it.

I'm a performer, all right? I'm a grower, not a shower.

I'm actually studying to be a cunnilinguist.

I'm an Investigative Journalism major.

I'm asking you to dance.

I'm climbing that tree, Jake!

I'm from this, uh,

I'm going through your album collection.

I'm gonna break it to you fresh

I'm gonna burn this down till my brain's a kernel

I'm gonna come back there, and I'll fucking make you my bitch, man!

I'm gonna fucking defend myself!

I'm gonna get a drink. Man's drink!

I'm gonna go upstairs real quick.

I'm gonna go upstairs real quick. I'll be right back.

I'm just looking for some kind of...

I'm just not gonna do that.

I'm just saying, in a deterministic event,

I'm just saying, you can't do it.

I'm just supposed to be rooming with him.

I'm just trying to fit in

I'm just... I'm curious. Maybe you study