Everybody Loves Raymond (1996) - Season 5 Edit

A little Saturday morning wake me up?

A stick, a broom!

Actually, yellow would be kind of nice.

Ah! Hose!

All right, Dad, you're the boss.

All right, fine, go!

All right, I'm going to use this french toast to lure him off the ladder

All right, wait. Wait wait wait wait a minute, Ray.

All right, will you stop?

All right!

All right! Sorry, kids.

All right.

All right.

All right...

Amen to that.

And a puzzle.

And after 25 years, it starts to get on people's nerves.

And don't tell him I told you about this.

And he doesn't bathe every day.

And he likes the fumes.

And I don't like the way you treat the help either, so that's it.

And I got a lot of Saturday things planned, okay?

And I'm starting yoga.

And it goes with your trim and the frigging little daisies you got!

And nobody tells me what to do.

And now that the can's open,

And now you boys just did the same thing to him!

And now you're saying yellow?!

And then I noticed that your children were starving.

And watching TV all the time?

And we were having fun too, building the fort all by ourselves, right?

And we'll do it yellow. Yellow's okay. I talked Debra into it.

And we're doing it yellow!

And what about you? Are you going to sc**** that paint or do a dance?

And why should I worry about his feelings?

And you got white houses on either side of you!

Are you finished caulking, Lady Chatterley?

Are you questioning me?

At least yours make sense.

Because if I say it's yellow, that should be good enough for you!

Because yellow covers better!

Because yellow is better.

Because yesterday was...

Big baby.

But he was completely wrong here.

But I found out the truth.

But I know that man and I know he needs one thing.

But if you're asking for my help,

But let's get to work!

But, Marie, we were going to hire professionals.

But, you know, it's actually kind of sunny.

Buy his pants at the pharmacy?

Calling me every name in the book...

Chop! Chop!

Come back over

Come on, look. I don't need both you guys

Come on, look. This isn't the same thing, okay?

Come on, Ma, look.

Come on, you're not leaving me here with him!

Considered the Confederacy's finest general.

Dad, do you hear what I'm saying?!

Dad, don't you stir that paint.

Dad, I'm warning you!

Dad, please, get down from there, okay?

Dad, you're not listening to me.

Do with that what you will.

Do you hear me, Dad?!

Don't paint my house yellow. Dad!

Don't you go near that!

Don't you open that paint can!

Duck season/rabbit season?

Ever since he's retired, he's around all the time.

Everything else is crap!

Exactly. I'd be fine if it weren't for people!

Fine!

Frank, we were going to hire painters to do that

Friday.

Get the hose!

Get up there and knock out that nest!

God, I can't believe I invited you back.

Good. You're fired.

Guess Daddy isn't going to be able to spend any more quality time with you.

Had to be done, Ma.

Hanging off my house, okay?

He did a nice job on our house...

He did that already!

He didn't want me to make a big deal out of it.

He doesn't care about anybody else's.

He needs to be needed

He told me he retired,

He wanted to paint my house yellow!

He was up on the ladder.

He wears your things?

He wrenched his back carrying ladders.

He's a bully, he's obstinate

He's your father.

He's your father. He just isn't good at...

Here I thought it'd be so nice, all the Barone men working together.

Hey, Bugs Bunny! Hey!

Hey, Dad. He doesn't have to caulk by the down spout. It's not that important.

Hey, get a load of this, Robert. Raymond says I'm fired!

Hey, hey, it's just a couple of bugs.

Hey, that's a keen eye you got there.

Hey, what do you got?

Hey, you can't come in like that, you're soaking wet.

Hey! What's with all this standing around?!

Hey... no.

His back is fine, Ma. I sent him home.

Hiya, Ma. Ow!

Honey, come on. The kids, the kids.

How are you right? How are you right?!

How come Robert gets to use the power painter?

How could he?

How could you do that to him?!

I can't believe I apologized to you even.

I can't take the old man anymore. He's driving me nuts.

I do when it's my house! And it's my house and I'm the boss, okay?

I don't want him around when I'm trying to do things.

I fought for your damn Chantilly Lace,

I get to be in charge,

I get to be the boss, all right?

I had him too, Raymond.

I have to tell you?

I heard you say Chantilly Lace!

I know how to handle a brush.

I know, but I never thought he'd live this long.

I like fine chocolates.

I mean I'm not interested.

I need him out of my house.

I need space. I need a little time to myself.

I practice my languages, I have my opera,

I shouldn't have to explain everything!

I so... oh God.

I would hate to kill anyone's buzz, but...

I'm kind of busy right now.

I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I don't like the way you treat me

I'm painting your house. What's it look like?

I'm right!

I'm scraping.

I'm sorry about before.

I'm sorry.

I'm warning you. Dad, don't...

I'm... oh no you don't!

I've been asking you to get on this for months.

Idiot, moron.

If he's not retired, why does he

If they come at you,

If you stir that paint...

If you want me to help you, I'll help you.

In my generation,

Is that white Debra or yellow Debra?

It is Saturday...

It makes your house pop a little!

It was a big enough deal for him to make up a story

It was Raymond.

It won't fade as fast!

It's a little late for rebellion, Raymond.

It's important if I say it's important.

It's my house and you wanted to paint it yellow! How is that right?

It's not close, it's yellow.

It's not only Debra, okay? I want Chantilly Lace too.

It's Saturday.

It's the heckling.

It's yellow, okay?!

Just called us stupid, stinking humps and did it himself.

Just close the window. I won't listen

Knock it down with something...

L... I don't think...

Learn how to handle the brush first.

Listen, Dad, I got to tell you.

Listen.

Listen.

Living among humans.

Look, I'm sorry about his whole life, okay?

Look, if you're not going to do what I want,

Look, Ma, I think you're overreacting, okay? This wasn't that big of deal!

Look, you said Chantilly Lace.

Looks like... we have the world's ugliest shutters.

Lunch.

Ma said we had to.

Ma, why is Dad painting the house?

Me and Robert are people too!

Minus five minutes of heaven.

Mmm Mmm Mmm.

Nancy, powder puff, princess... monkey.

No one works with Dad, you work for him.

No, come on. It's Saturday. They're downstairs watching cartoons.

No, it's better this way.

No, look, it's Saturday,

No!

No.

No.

Nothing fancy, just this little fort.

Now he's lying on my couch demanding soup.

Now I'm in charge of this now.

Oh my God.

Oh, but Frank is very good.

Oh, come on! You too?

Oh, Dad, if I see paint on that brush,

Oh, excuse me. Who's speaking?

Oh, it must have been so humiliating for Frank

Oh, it's those damn people! Well, you're forgetting one thing...

Oh, look out, look out.

Oh, sure, yeah. I got you.

Oh, that's my gift to you.

Oh, well here's what you do...

Oh, what is this?

Oh.

Oh...

Okay okay okay. Just let your father do this.

Okay, and the first thing we're going to do...

Okay, but this is my house.

Okay, I'm all right now.

Okay, so...

Okay, that's yellow.

Okay, you're just going to have to return stirred paint now.

Okay, you're right, but it's not always about being right.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Fine. Raymond, please...

Ooh, an extra hour of sleep.

Ordering me around like a monkey.

Other periodicals.

Paint your own damn house.

People see me working out here.

Raymond, go talk to your father.

Raymond?

Right, I see you got soup.

Right, no one is arguing that.

Robert and I were building a fort in our backyard..

Robert's offered, your dad's already started scraping, so I say fine.

She wants white. She said Chantilly Lace.

Shot by one of his own men.

Sir!

So Frank never told you he was fired?

So go back in your truck, ring a bell and sell some fudge pops.

So I fired him.

So it has nothing to do with you being lazy

So it's going to get done right!

So what, are the two of you going to paint the house now by yourselves?

So you're fine with them painting your house?

So, I put your father on the job

So, you can thank me later.

So, you do everything Ma tells you?

So, you take a stick and knock it down.

So? I'm getting dopey,

Something hit the wall.

Step aside.

Thanks a lot, Robert

That is a good one.

That we would be the ones to make that decision,

That's going to need another coat.

That's how I cover the hurt.

That's not our problem, all right?

That's right, you're fired!

That's why when you get mad that I'm not the handiest guy around here,

That's yellow. Dad, don't you paint my house yellow!

The men had their jobs and that's who they were.

There's a wasps' nest by the down spout.

There's something about your father you don't know.

They fired him.

They should like me because I did the job right!

They're finally making Popsicles in your size?

They're going to know that Frank Barone did this job,

They're wasps. They don't like that.

This doesn't just happen.

This is close.

This is my job!

This is what you want? This is what you can't live without?

This wasn't his career, this was my house.

Till Dad came home and told us we were doing it all wrong.

To have that little Alvin Pelk fire him from his job.

To me about hurting his back

Ugh!

Very good

Very interesting figure in history.

Wasp!

We got to do it my way, because it's the right way.

We're not talking about that! Oh...

We're safe as long as there's electricity.

We're... we're trying to... sleep here.

Well I don't care what Debra likes, and I don't care what you like!

Well this is Lemon Meringue.

Well you should apologize to me, I was right!

Well, Debra, I was coming over here with french toast for Frank,

Well, I hate to break up this meeting of the Camp Fire Girls,

Well, it doesn't have to be right now. Whenever you feel like it.

Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed?

Well, why did you get yellow?

Well, why didn't you just say that?

Well, yes, he did do a nice job on your house and...

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? It's Saturday.

What do you mean him? What about what he does to us?

What do you mean no?

What do you mean you fired him?

What is it, Marie?

What the hell are you doing?!

What, is that it? Are we done?

What, you're eating out of a pot 'cause you don't like to clean a bowl?

What?

What? Is that so strange?

What? Yellow just never occurred to me.

What?!

Who are you?!

Whoa, wait a minute, Dad.

Why are you still here?

Why aren't you done caulking?!

Why did you fire him?

Would have looked like an accident.

Would you stop?

Wow.

Yay! French toast!

Yeah, but Debra likes white.

Yeah, but that's what happens when you retire.

Yeah, but we were kind of thinking

Yeah, just a place we could read our comic books and...

Yeah, that makes perfect sense if you work in a lighthouse!

Yeah.

Yeah. Didn't show us how to do it right,

Yes, but we're the ones who have to look at it.

Yes, it is! Being right is all that matters.

You do not dip that brush.

You don't know the days.

You don't think he cares about you?

You don't understand, Debra.

You fired him?

You fired him?

You fired your father?

You got the wrong color. Debra wanted white.

You hear me, Dad?! Don't you... don't you dip that brush!

You hear this, okay? This is marriage.

You knew what it was going to be like working with Dad.

You know what? Maybe all three of you can paint it together?

You know, I think you're the only one who thinks you're funny.

You know, I want to use the power painter too.

You know, I'm not worried about the listening.

You know, it brings up a lot of stuff.

You know, that was very sweet of you to help.

You know, you really should. I know your father can be a real jerk sometimes.

You like this one?

You pull your skirt over your head and run.

You two always talk about having your house painted...

You two working for the government?!

You want to fire me?

You want to paint the house? Go. Paint the house.

You watch out for your father? What did I do?!

You..

You're going to have to pay for it, okay?

You're his son. How do you think that made him feel?

You've had 40 years to poison him.

Your father believes that his way of doing things is the only way.

Your father never retired from Pelk Accounting.

Your pinky! I don't care!

Ah, no no. The kids.

But what if they come up. No no, they're in the zone, okay?

Come on, come on. Go over there... No no no, Ma.

Do what things? When I'm trying to improve myself.

Get your father off that ladder. Ah, okay.

Hey. Hey.

Hi, Marie. Hello, dear.

I don't understand. He was being a big jerk,

I hope you're happy, Raymond. Oh... shut up!

I shouldn't have to say it! What?

I'm the boss? Yes.

Jeez, you scared the crap out of me! What the..

Ma! It's 7:30, Marie.

No no! You know, you should.

No no! You know, you should.

Okay, all right. That's it. Hey!

Raymond? What?

So why are you over here? I don't listen to him.

So you're fired. I'm fired?!

That's it, go home. Excuse me?!

then go home. You don't tell me what to do.

Then how did he wrench his back? What?!

We're working, Dad. Oh yeah?

Well, best of luck. Oh no. No no no!

Well, come on, you don't want them... Hey hey hey,

Wha... now you want him to? Well, I mean,

What are you doing? Getting the kids ready for school.

What are you doing? Painting your house.

What are you doing?! This is how

What else does he have?! Your house.

What? Well, I like yellow.

Why? Why?

With the yellow. I said with the yellow.

Wouldn't that be nice? No

Wow. That's right.

Yeah, but it's only 9:30... Lunch!

Yeah, remember the fort? That's right.

Yellow? Yeah, you believe that?

Yes. Hey

You can't fire me! Look, Dad,

You made him carry ladders around! He didn't carry ladders.

'Cause I'm sure as hell not paying for no Lemon Meringue. You hear me?

'cause it is kind of our house.

'Cause nobody can do anything right except him.

"Oh, what if they don't like you?"

"Oh, you have to consider people's feelings."

"The Death of General Stonewall Jackson".