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Home > Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
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Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

Me, Myself & Irene is a hilarious comedy film directed by the Farrelly brothers, Peter and Bobby, and released in the year 2000. The movie stars the legendary Jim Carrey in the lead role and features a talented ensemble cast including Renée Zellweger, Chris Cooper, and Robert Forster.

In this uproarious comedy, Carrey portrays a Rhode Island state trooper named Charlie Baileygates, a man with a split-personality disorder. Charlie's life takes a wild and unpredictable turn when he is assigned to transport Irene Waters (played by Zellweger), who is a key witness in a criminal case, to another state. As they embark on their journey together, Charlie's alter ego, Hank, emerges, a foul-mouthed and aggressive personality completely opposite to Charlie's gentle nature. Chaos and hilarity ensue as these two personas battle for supremacy, creating one of the most delightfully absurd cinematic experiences.

Me, Myself & Irene explores themes of identity, mental health, and acceptance, all presented with the signature comedic style of the Farrelly brothers. Carrey delivers a tour de force performance, seamlessly transitioning between Charlie's meekness and Hank's outrageousness. Zellweger portrays Irene with charm and wit, creating great chemistry with Carrey on-screen. The talented supporting cast, including Cooper and Forster, adds depth and humor to the film.

With its clever writing, slapstick humor, and outrageous situations, Me, Myself & Irene became a box office success and a fan favorite. It showcases Carrey's unparalleled ability to bring larger-than-life characters to the screen, making audiences laugh until their sides hurt. The film is a testament to the Farrelly brothers' knack for blending absurdity with heart, creating a comedy that stands the test of time.

If you're looking to relive the laughs or discover this comedy gem for the first time, you can easily enjoy Me, Myself & Irene. You can play and download the sounds of this hilarious movie on various platforms, allowing you to enjoy the riotous adventures of Charlie and Hank whenever and wherever you please. So gather some friends, prepare for non-stop laughter, and immerse yourself in the zany world of Me, Myself & Irene.

A ditz? What are you talking about? You're 27 years old.
A gun on my hip and the right to arrest
A rope,
A schizo.
A week's a long motherfuckin' time.
A wind chime voice sounds
Actually l was pretty much offended by everything you said, sir.
Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.
Agent Boshane!
Agent Boshane!
Agent Boshane?
Ain't no nevermind who them crooked politicians be killin' . You need to study.
All because some demon he married laced up her boots
All right, all right. The law's the law.
All right!
All right! Oh, shit!
All right. Come on.
All the time that you know you're smilin'
Although Charlie's police work had started to suffer, the kids were doing great.
And Agent Boshane had been arrested at the train station in New London.
And an 18 year veteran of the greatest law enforcement agency in the land:
And call your friends and tell them to back off, OK?
And could you stop lookin' at my ass!
And did a Nancy Sinatra on him.
And ease it in there inch by inch like a gentleman.
And had to eat whale blubber for the rest of your life? Would you still stay with me?
And half of the Rhode lsland State Police Force was in attendance.
And he locked it all away.
And he said "l'm sorry. l didn't mean to make fun."
And her life was in danger.
And her predecessor's heart attack? Well, that was just cold blooded murder.
And if that wasn't bad enough, there was more trouble right around the corner.
And l fall in love with you Fall in love with you
And l really didn't like who l was becoming.
And l went AWOL.
And l'm afraid that some day,
And l'm gonna make it up to that sweet little circus geek in there.
And l'm happy to report Charlie got promoted to lieutenant
And l'm head of the Boston chapter of Mensa.
And l'm not fit to touch
And l'm not fit to touch. . .
And l'm probably just being paranoid here, but. . .
And l'm truly sorry that you had to kill again.
And me too!
And our instinct says somethin' don't smell right. Let's roll.
And so he went on with his life as if everything was normal.
And that's the word of a Rhode lsland State Trooper, ma'am.
And the boys flourished.
And the boys, well, they came into their own.
And the kidnapping of lrene Waters.
And the mourners are all singin'
And the only bright lights you saw were the ones inside the fridge.
And then some.
And then the colonel ordered me to take a week's vacation.
And these are the right circumstances.
And they put you on the street
And try to find a loophole.
And was dating the prettiest and smartest gal in town.
And waved a white flag in the face of your own self loathing.
And we're gone.
And you find out your only friend
And you got the Cokes.
And you let your skin hang out, blemishes an' all. You're not afraid of your flaws.
And you shouldn't have to!
And you're laying in bed next to me
And you're sure you're near the end
And you've been there for. . .
And, motherfucker, he don't eat fast food.
Anybody know how to fly this thing?
Anyway, Hank had a good idea. He thinks. . .
Are you kidding? l have tons of them at home. No, l got a bunch. Come on.
Are you OK? What happened?
Are you sure about this?
Arrivederci, deadwood. No!
As a young man, Charlie had the world by its bootstraps.
As is being an accessory to bribery, embezzlement,
As l walk through, it fills my lungs
As they drag you by your feet
As they have a way of doing, the years passed somewhat regularly.
As you can imagine,
As you can imagine, there was some explaining to do.
Baby, you're wrong
Bag of lime and some lawn darts.
Baileygates, you're coming with me.
Be careful, Charlie!
Be stuck up there at Stanford with them goddamn motherfuckers.
Be throwin' shit at it. Lion'd be "Oh, ooh."
Before you know it, l had 70 year old guys trying to support me
Beneath my feet l feel the rumble of a subway train, yeah
Better get out
Better get out!
Bound and gagged. . .
Boy, let me tell you, that was some wedding.
Boy, you can't beat the open road !
Bullshit! My daddy ain't killed nobody and he sure ain't kidnapped no bitch !
But after school l moved to New York 'cause. . .
But Charlie Baileygates didn't seem to react at all.
But Charlie Baileygates had other things on his mind.
But Charlie made that little house into a big old home,
But Hank had an idea first.
But he is a very gentle person.
But in the Big Apple, they treated you like the worm, so you became an actress.
But is there any way that maybe we could get Charlie back out here
But just this once, try to look at it from my side.
But l am an officer of the law, and, by all rights, l could. . .
But l can sleep in the car.
But l have to do this.
But l hope that never happens.
But l'll do my best to keep you drivin' slow
But l'm getting way ahead of myself.
But Mensa? l'm president of the Providence chapter.
But no one outside the department can know about this, OK?
But outside. . . Well, that was another story.
But the hangman isn't hangin'
But the police don't matter shit to me when it's my daddy in there!
But then some guy came up and laughed in my face.
But they catch you at the border
But what about your family? How did they die?
But when she left him, Charlie went numb. . .
But you can't get far without talent,
But you pull it off!
But you said you'd eat whale blubber.
But, save for a little blood in the urine, he was no worse for the wear.
But. . .
By default.
By not dealing with your problems, Charlie.
By the looks of her, she's been here for a while.
By the way,
Bye bye!
Bye, Charlie.
Bye, Daddy! Have a good time at work.
Calling that cop was unbelievably stupid !
Can you excuse me?
Can you please tell him to stop this?
Can you take these goddamn things off?
Can't have that happen. OK, guys.
Can't you get one at work?
Careful, you'll peel.
Casper. But my friends call me Whitey.
Charlie and lrene, the guys, even that nice albino fella, Whitey.
Charlie had a wife?
Charlie loved those boys so much, he just couldn't face the truth.
Charlie,
Charlie,
Charlie, don't break it.
Charlie, is that you?
Charlie, l don't wanna ever hear you use the n word in this house.
Charlie, that you?
Charlie, what the hell is that?
Charlie, what's going on here?
Charlie, why didn't you take a vacation when Layla left?
Charlie, you are in deep shit. Where the hell are you?
Charlie!
Charlie! Stop it! Charlie, stop it!
Charlie?
Charlie?
Charlie.
Charlie. . .
Charlie's the mouse that got you into the maze.
Clean bill of health. A well rounded individual.
Colonel, something's wrong with Charlie.
Come again?
Come and visit us.
Come back here, Hank! l'm not through with you !
Come on !
Come on ! Help me out!
Come on here. Let me walk you to your car.
Come on, Br'er Rabbit. Hop down the bunny trail. Epa, epa, àndale.
Come on, Charlie!
Come on, Charlie! Go!
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, Dickie.
Come on, goddamn it! Those kids' dicks are bigger than them sausages!
Come on, guys, take it easy. She's a mom.
Come on, guys. Let's go.
Come on, hold on. Just let me think for a second. OK?
Come on, legs! Let's roll, baby.
Come on, look what he did to me! What are you thinking? He's out of control.
Come on, rip my head off.
Come on, Rip Van Wussy.
Come on. Don't be mad, my little pussyfart.
Come on. He couldn't have chewed up the greens that badly.
Come on. Stop fooling around.
Come on. That's it.
Cos if your fuckin' is like your police work,
Cover the other end. l want Charlie arrested on sight.
Cut the bullshit!
D'you ever notice that your kids have a year round tan?
D'you hear me?
D'you mind telling me what you were thinking?
Daddy, can we watch Richard Pryor on HBO?
Daddy.
Damn ! l can't figure out the atomic mass of this motherfuckin' deuteron.
Damn it!
Damn it. l am so sick of that guy!
Deep inside of you
Dickie has those guys in his back pocket. That's why l came to you.
Dickie told me you were street smart.
Dickie, you know l don't know anything !
Did you have fun? "Ooh, yes, l did ! Ooh, yes l did !"
Did you just refer to yourself in the fourth person?
Did you. . .
Did your lips get as chapped as mine on the ride down?
Didn't l tell you to stay with me?
Didn't you see the look on his face?
Die!
Do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Do you mean to say l've gotta carry your sorry ass?
Do you really think
Do you swallow?
Do you understand that?
Doctors have diagnosed you as having a "split personality."
Does the name Dickie Thurman ring a bell?
Does your ass feel numb?
Don't fuck it up this time.
Don't give me a girly "l don't want to break a fingernail" tap.
Don't give me that bullshit! That was a racist slur.
Don't make a sound.
Don't mind me. lt's just the beer talking, you know?
Don't patronize me with that "Sir" crap!
Don't turn this around on me, OK? You're the one who can't keep your legs closed.
Don't worry. Nobody outside the department will hear about this.
Don't worry. This is my investigation. l promise there will be no bloodshed.
Don't you give up on me now!
Dr. Rabinowitz assures us, if you do, everything'll be fine.
Drop the gun, moron.
Duh ! A proton and a neutron.
Easier than l thought! Come on !
Ed, did you see where my paper went today?
Enrico Fermi'd roll over in his motherfuckin' grave if he heard that.
Even though Charlie didn't wholeheartedly agree with the top brass,
Even though he lived on the water, Charlie wasn't much of a swimmer,
Eventually, Charlie's worst fears were realized.
Ever been bitch slapped?
Ever since. . .
Every time l see you there
Everybody, stay back. We'll do this alone. l'll take 1 9 , you take 20 . Stay back!
Everyone, do you know l know your deception?
Everyone, do you know l know your deception?
Excuse me, do you people take checks?
Excuse me, Mr. Jackson. . .
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Charlie!
Fear those who finally ceased to feel
Find another department and tell them the whole story.
First the Coke machine robbed me. And l'm fine with that.
For a little huddle?
For little girls
For no one
For no one
For the love of shit, these are the loose ends that can hang you, Dickie!
For the man who stole your water
For your information, you stuck it in your own ass!
Found a quiet spot and spelled out the whole darn mess.
Free hot dogs here. All you can eat. Get your foot long and a bag of nuts.
Freshening up!
Front of the car, please. Hands on the hood.
Gabbing like a 1 6 year old girl on the phone.
Gerke was arraigned at a Providence hospital,
Get away from me!
Get in the car.
Get myself a drink of water.
Get off that! Don't you take off in that!
Get on your knees and beg me. Up yours.
Get over here. lt's your turn.
Get your cock out of my Chrysler, you son of a bitch !
Get. . . Jamaal, you're in a lot of trouble!
Gettin' a 1 430 on yo' SAT.
Give it another kick.
Give it up, dawg.
Give me the gun. Come on.
Give me the scanner, so we can find out what the fuck's goin' on !
Go ahead. Just push as hard as you can.
Go, Charlie. Go! You can do it!
God, l have made so many mistakes.
Goddamn it!
Going on three days now.
Got a map of New England, if you want. $1 .95.
Got enough stuff to hold us over for 72 hours.
Great.
Great. You again.
Grow up really high, really high
Growing up without a mom.
Guys, look, l'm sorry. l hate to admit it, but this time he's right.
Ha ha, we'd laugh because each drop would make me
Had enough? Up yours.
Handle this by mail or. . .
Hands off, Hank.
Hang on, Daddy! Grab a hold of that motherfucker, man !
Hank thought that you kinda had a weak chin, so. . .
Hank, don't call me that.
Hank, hurry!
Hank, l presume.
Hank, we're shot! You pussy, it's just a flesh wound. Look.
Hank, what have you done? Oh, my God ! Don't you just love it?
Hank!
Hank!
Hank!
Hank! What are you doing? Give me the leg !
Hank?
Hank? Hank.
Hank.
Hank's gone.
Hard to hit a moving target, isn't it?
Have you picked up your medication?
Having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with jelly or syrup.
He already got supplies. They're in the trunk.
He did as he was told.
He did save our lives.
He doesn't. Doctors feel that you've created this character out of necessity.
He hasn't played the course in a long time. lt was Charlie who was putting.
He just swallowed hard, felt that slab of heartache slide over the lump in his throat
He just told me that he brutally murdered his entire family in their sleep!
He keep askin' questions, they'll think he's stupid.
He may have delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage,
He might not be long on the tee, but he's got a good up and down game.
He said "Baby, you'll never change"
He sure is a Spartacus lookin' motherfucker.
He thinks that we should find a cabin and hide out for a while.
He wants me to rest while l'm getting used to the medication.
He was hurt and offended.
He was staying at the Chuck E. Cheese Lodge and Miniature Golf Resort.
He was the best young trooper on the force,
He'd just turn over ass up in yo' face.
He'll hush me with some Benjamins. They don't need that kind of ink.
He's a funny motherfucker!
He's an ass.
He's been takin' pills.
He's got company!
He's so fucking dumb, he thinks calculus is a goddamn emperor.
He's so. . .
Heart problem or something.
Her name was Layla. . . Just like the melody.
Here l am.
Here you go.
Hey, big guy. Did you hear the news?
Hey, buddy.
Hey, Captain.
Hey, Daddy, now you can blow your nose and wipe your ass at the same damn time!
Hey, Daddy, we just wanted to say that. . .
Hey, Finneran.
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, Hollywood, turn your fuckin' phone off.
Hey, it happens.
Hey, kids! Over here! Now!
Hey, l know how to score some dough.
Hey, look, the world ain't slowin' down
Hey, look, the world ain't slowin' down
Hey, lrene. You just keep walking, now.
Hey, man, quit hackin' into them goddamn Pentagon files.
Hey, man. Take it easy. lt's just a cigarette.
Hey, my nose.
Hey, Pops, how you doin' , man?
Hey, ringworm.
Hey, that's not so bad.
Hey, the world ain't slowin' down
Hey, the world ain't slowin' down
Hey, the world ain't slowin' down. . .
Hey, they only had two rooms: 1 9 and 20.
Hey, those are illegal. Stop.
Hey, Whitey. Listen, l wanted to tell you
Hey, you talkin' some shit now.
Hey, your bandage is wet.
Hey! This is serious shit!
Hey! You mind if l get ahead of you? l'm in a wicked rush.
Hey.
Hey.
His company, Cedar Creek Limited, has been under investigation for 1 8 months.
Hold it right there.
Hold on, cheese tits.
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holes through flawless souls
Holy Jesus in heaven ! lt's a giant Q Tip.
Holy shit!
Hope unknown
How come l couldn't have ended up with an easy going guy like you, Charlie? Huh?
How do you wanna handle it?
How does that make me an accessory? l laid sod on Dickie's golf course. So what?
How dumb do l look?
How many seas must a white. . .
How much does she know?
How the hell can they call Pluto a planet?
How very empty is my soul
How was. . .
How'd you become the head greenskeeper?
How'd you learn that?
How'd you pay for it?
How's it hangin' , fellas?
How's the nose feeling?
Humans only use 1 0% of their potential !
If l don't do something, l'm gonna explode.
If this motherfucker don't stop this turbulence shit!
If you were such a big part of the personality,
In the greatest law enforcement agency in the land: the Rhode lsland State Police.
In the Rhode lsland State Police manual.
It wasn't easy for little Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonté Junior
It wasn't you that this was happening to. lt was this other guy.
Jesus, you're heavy.
Jesus!
Jesus! Holy. . .
Jesus! Oh, God.
Jump off the train !
Jump off!
Just a little rap on the side of the machine and presto!
Just because l rock doesn't mean l'm made of stone.
Just between you and me,
Just give me all the details and l'll get to the bottom of it.
Just the hangover and the swollen prostate.
Just to keep the law and order tryin' to do what's right
Just when Charlie thought life couldn't get any sweeter,
Keep goin' . Bring it down.
Kind of like the friendships.
Kisses.
Knock it off! You're talking about my children.
L am the misplaced
L believe in you !
L bet he's a new man when he gets back.
L call the shots from now on, Hank!
L can't find the time to tell you
L can't find the time to tell you
L can't find the time to tell you
L can't find the time to tell you. . .
L can't find the time to tell you. . .
L caught 'em out on 1 34 in a stolen vehicle. Baileygates and the girl.
L caught that, bozo. Not once but twice it burned ya.
L could fit it in a book, fit it in a book of a thousand pages, yeah
L don't know anything, and that's what l told the police.
L don't know what that means, OK?
L don't know what to say.
L don't know. Just lucky, l guess.
L don't know. lt's a lot of things, really.
L don't need you to fight my battles for me!
L don't think it's safe for you to hang around with us.
L fear that l alone
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel them gnawing
L feel your fear. lt's coming through like static on my heart radio.
L found my soul mate.
L found you sittin' on a suitcase cryin'
L found you sittin' on a suitcase cryin' . . .
L get it. We'll go slow.
L get the feeling that the entire town is laughing at me behind my back.
L got 1 0 bucks say l can squeeze a chicken egg up his ass.
L got a star on my car and one on my chest
L got my leg back.
L got this eating disorder where l gained, like, 20lb.
L gotta take this gal up north,
L guess the heart just wants what the heart wants.
L guess they just got old and fell apart.
L hate to be a stickler, Dick, but. . .
L have no love but only goals
L have no patience for people who judge books by their cover.
L have to get in my car and drive all the way back to upstate New York?
L have to take a pill every six hours or l feel funny. No big deal.
L have your prisoner, Miss lrene Waters, here.
L haven't done anything wrong and you know it.
L hear them calling
L hear them calling
L hear them calling
L hear them calling
L hear them calling
L hear them calling
L hired her to be my golf course superintendent. We got close.
L hope if you're ever,
L hope we can get to know each other better.
L just got released last month on my 21 st birthday.
L just took a deep breath, counted backwards from 1 0 and l said to the guy
L killed them.
L know that hope's unknown
L know what you had planned. l saw your so called supplies.
L know, l know, damn it.
L know, l know. Wasn't my idea.
L know.
L laugh out loud 'cause it's the one thing l hadn't been tryin'
L laugh out loud 'cause it's the one thing l hadn't been tryin'
L like my chin.
L like my chin. . .
L loaned him the money.
L look at your pretty face
L love her like no other, but. . .
L loved her.
L may be a ditz, but l'm not a crook.
L may not be tough, but damn it, l can get good and mad !
L mean, it's not like l had the flu. . .
L mean, look at your hair. lt's like you don't give a damn.
L mean, you should be furious. l just drop kicked you right in the face.
L moved to New York, but none of it worked out,
L never get tired of hearing that.
L never said they were dead.
L never wanted to sleep with you, Hank! OK? You tricked me!
L owe you a huge one.
L prefer syrup.
L promise!
L pulled her over on 95 for a broken tail light.
L ran a check. She's got an outstanding warrant in New York.
L really, really appreciate your help,
L repeat: price check on VagiClean, aisle five.
L said they were gone.
L said you're gettin' the hell outta here. That's the end of it.
L say we storm the place and start shooting.
L sees that, but what do l do with the goddamn electron? Can l put it here?
L started thinking about it. Bad idea.
L suppose l could.
L think it's time our rich boy got his hands dirty.
L think it's time to call the best damn law enforcement agency in the country.
L think l'm gonna faint.
L think we did the right thing.
L think. . .
L thought l was bad.
L thought l was your soul mate.
L try to be.
L turn my back for one minute and you stick it up my ass! Literally!
L used to when l was younger. Pictures of friends and stuff like that.
L walk right through the nameless ones
L want everybody to stay put and wait for my order.
L want to remind you again, our station's at your disposal.
L warned you about that, buddy!
L was a big piece of the personality pie back then.
L was gonna lube it up
L was horny.
L was talking about the shovel and the lime.
L wasn't gonna just ram it home, though.
L went to Cornell, then l got my master's in Turf Management at U Mass.
L work all day and l work all night
L wouldn't know. l stay out of his business, he stays out of mine.
L'd be your Albert
L'd like that
L'd like that
L'll follow the girl. You get Baileygates!
L'll let you know when l find it.
L'll tell the big cheese l got rolled in the parking lot.
L'll tell you one thing.
L'm a guy who's the boss on this highway
L'm a professor of molecular genetics at Brown.
L'm a tango man myself.
L'm coming, lrene!
L'm dry.
L'm due for a seismic event. You're dancin' on the fault line.
L'm gonna give you a little lesson in low center of gravity.
L'm gonna go and try to make out with whatsherface.
L'm gonna kill you, Hank! l swear to God !
L'm gonna make it up to Charlie.
L'm here to save your life, but if l'm gonna do that, l'll need total uninononynymity.
L'm just a ditz.
L'm just a doin' my job l'm the highway patrol
L'm just a doin' my job l'm the highway patrol
L'm just driving this limo as a sociological experiment. That's it.
L'm just gonna. . .
L'm just trying to help him save face.
L'm lookin' for my friends. A pretty blonde and a guy with a buzz cut.
L'm not a bad person.
L'm not leaving till the morning, but you know the rules: no bitches after eleven.
L'm not through with you, buster. l'm not through with you !
L'm originally from Texas. Middle class neighborhood.
L'm personally gonna fuck him up!
L'm really not crazy about it, though. lt makes me so dry.
L'm so sorry, Charlie.
L'm so sorry. l apologize. He suffers from this thing.
L'm sorry you had to meet Hank, Miss Waters.
L'm sorry.
L'm standing right here, four eyes.
L'm surprised it's held on this long.
L'm the highway patrol the highway patrol
L'm the rat who can find the cheese.
L'm truly sorry.
L'm warning you, pal. You're gonna get hurt.
L'm workin' for the state l'm the highway patrol
L've never been in an accident. Not in my whole life.
L've seen it first hand. The guy's nuttier than squirrel turds.
Lee Harvey.
Let go! Go!
Let go! Let go, girl !
Let me guess. Everybody said you were easy on the eyes,
Let me handle this. Stop it!
Let me tell you, they were smart ones.
Let us talk to our dad so this ain't gotta be no big thing.
Let's dance.
Let's fly!
Let's kick the shit out of this crazy asshole!
Lf l didn't have bad luck, l'd have no luck at all.
Lf l write you out a ticket then you'd better drive slow
Lf my daddy's such a scary ass motherfucker, why'd you go by yourself?
Lf there's been a mistake, you have to clear it up in Massena.
Lf we could cycle down some lane
Lf we could ride into the rain
Lf we let him back.
Lf you break the law you'll hear from me, l know
Lf you can back down from something this important, you're nothing at all !
Lf you keep fuckin' around, you'll lose your Yale scholarship.
Lf you need help, l'll help you.
Lf you'd be Victoria
Like a really high thing, say a sunflower. . .
Like you only hear what you wanna hear?
Listen to it.
Listen to me, OK?
Listen, Dick, l'm sorry to bother you like this but. . .
Listen, l don't know what's going on and l didn't tell the feds anything. . .
Listen, l'm at a police station in Rhode lsland.
Listen, were you offended in any way by our social interaction here?
Listen, you gotta get a message to the colonel.
Ln a dark and silent world where nothing grows but the anger.
Ln a mist around you
Ln a room with a two timer
Ln Africa, though, l go out in the country.
Ln the land of milk and honey
Ln the mornin' you go gunnin'
Lnjured pedestrian signed the complaint.
Lnterstate! ls your old lady happy?
Look at me. l wouldn't last two minutes in the desert.
Look at you !
Look what l got!
Look, Daddy got a butthole on his face.
Look, l don't know the first thing about running a golf course, Charlie. l'm a model.
Look, l'm being a straight shooter.
Look, l'm not here to twist your niblets.
Look, there's keys in that car. No, l can't go on.
Look.
Looked a little pale, that's all.
Love you, Daddy!
Lrene decided they should go back to Rhode lsland,
Lrene finagled the key from the front desk and let herself in.
Lrene has a lot of people who would like to see her in an unmarked grave.
Lrene, Charlie, this is Agent Steve Parfitt, FBl.
Lrene, l was just. . . l was gonna study your file
Lrene!
Lrene!
Lrene!
Lrene?
Lrene?
Lrene?
Lrene. . .
Lt goes deep inside of you
Lt hits you like Scripture
Lt is a soul that could easily kill
Lt just left Charlie a little more roughed up.
Lt looks like a dead heat in a zeppelin race.
Lt means either he makes up a battle plan, or Hank'll take over Fort Charlie for good.
Lt sounds like a song
Lt was a good thing Charlie had told her
Lt was presided over by Father Ken Gumbert,
Lt wasn't for me.
Lt'll be rainin' my motherfuckin' cookies
Lt's a big blue world
Lt's a boy!
Lt's a carnival callin' out to you
Lt's a carnival callin' out to you
Lt's a great time of year to ride, as long as you don't mind one or two bugs.
Lt's callin' out to you
Lt's funny how a man reacts when his heart gets broken.
Lt's gonna be raining wine and roses tonight.
Lt's good to see you're safe, Dad.
Lt's Hank!
Lt's me.
Lt's my chin ! lt's my chin ! Mine!
Lt's my kids!
Lt's over, Dickie. lt's over.
Lt's Shonté.
Lt's simple.
Lt's Stubie. He's got Baileygates and the girl.
Lt's survival at this point.
Lt's true.
Ma, Dad, my bro and my sis.
Man, Jamaal. Just cut my man some slack.
Massena, New York! Goddamn, Daddy! That's near Canada!
Maybe l could come visit you sometime soon.
Maybe that's it though, you know?
Maybe you should go back and get help.
Meet Charlie. Helpful dad, upstanding citizen,
Milky.
Miss Waters? l'd like you to step out of the car.
Mom !
Moody.
Mornin' , Ed.
Motherfucker robot! Motherfucker robot!
Motherfucker, it's just lift versus drag and rotation !
Motherfucker, you be lucky to get accepted to Duke,
Mr. Wonderful?
My ass is really sore.
My dad says you're a joke and l don't have to listen to you.
My family's all. . .
My God in heaven !
My God, l'm drowning
My hours are long and my pay is low
My kids are like that. They have this idea that the cops are the bad guys. . .
My name's Peterson. This is my partner, Agent Boshane.
My nose is fixed.
My old lady?
My siren a screamin' and my flashin' red light
My son Billy got the lead in the high school musical.
Never mind. l need your help.
Nice and easy.
Nice try though.
No kidding.
No macs, getting wet
No problem.
No wonder you're the smallest state. Little mind, little state.
No, but. . .
No, but. . .
No, he goes after bigger game.
No, l can handle it.
No, ma'am.
No, no, l rented this car!
No, no, l'm not fit to touch
No, no, no, no! God, no. Your company.
No, you got stupid !
No, you're not a bad guy.
No, you're not.
No! Don't listen to him ! lt's not me! lt's Hank!
No! Hey, stop it!
No! We're doin' it!
No. Just messing around the house.
Nobody's gonna get hurt.
Not me.
Not smart, Charlie. We don't know how far Dickie's reach goes.
Not them kind you be fuckin' with in the zoo.
Now every face looks familiar
Now every face looks familiar
Now get in there!
Now you're gettin' it!
Now, don't look, OK?
Of course, Charlie.
Of course, there's not much about this sort of thing
Of the proton and the neutron, right?
Officer Stubie, l don't want you to attempt to move them.
Officer Stubie'll drive you to the chopper.
Oh boy, oy, oy.
Oh, all over.
Oh, boy. Here we go.
Oh, Charlie.
Oh, come on.
Oh, come on. You don't have to worry about us, Daddy. We're grown up now.
Oh, God !
Oh, God !
Oh, God. This is Dickie's work. l know it!
Oh, hello, lrene. What'd l do now?

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