G.I. Joe: Retaliation Edit

A care package thingy?

A covert Special Forces unit code named Cobra

A drone picked up voiceprints in the Indus Valley.

A finger strays...

A G.I. Joe flag.

A Joe,

A rod touches down eight times faster than a bullet.

A warrior of great skill and anger.

Abandoned their duty

Abort!

Actually, he called me the other day for some advice.

Actually, you owe me two.

Adrenaline now. Now! Adrenaline!

Aerial threat! Down!

Ah, good.

Ain't always about me.

Air strike! Call in an air strike!

Alive on earth.

All communications have been cut off. No one will know you're even missing.

All Joe missions successful.

All Joes are accounted for.

All Joes present and accounted for.

All of the fun.

All of the fun.

All our men accounted for. Not a single drop of blood.

All right, Mouse. Give us that diversion.

All right! I got eyes on the nuke!

All right. Easy, Flipper.

All right. Well, let's get to work.

All right. Well, then that's our target.

All that Wii Combat Shooter finally paying off, sir.

All units, setting condition orange. Stand by.

All we've been missing is our Commander.

ALL: Hell, yeah!

ALL: Hoo ah!

ALL: Oh!

ALL: Yeah!

Almost calls for a Snuggie.

Almost there.

Amazing. Name's not Brenda.

Amen.

An ancient Arashikage test.

And a sovereign nation.

And all

And broke the sacred bond that exists between

And by "out of the picture," I mean

And control of its nuclear arsenal appear to be up in the air

And Destro

And get the hell out of there. No delays.

And he is us.

And he saved my life, sir.

And he,

And he's the one that ordered the attack,

And head back that way?

And I voted for him.

And I'd do it again.

And I'm not just talking about his age.

And if you win?

And made me what I am.

And my friends

And my interns...

And our brothers.

And placed in a maximum security prison.

And Ryan Seacrest

And Snake Eyes.

And started using "I mean" and "sort of."

And the fate of humanity.

And the next time you want to drown somebody,

And they love singing on it, all night long.

And this is 10 days later.

And those entrusted with their security.

And to that end,

And we're gonna kill him.

And what would you call it?

And when they do,

And with a force significantly greater than a nuclear warhead.

And you need me.

And Zartan, remain at large.

ANNOUNCER: (ON PA) All squads, gear up and clear the L.Z.

Any and all traces

Any volunteers?

Anyone else missing Snake Eyes?

Anyone ever tell you you fight ugly?

Anything!

Anything?

Apparently, America wants someone who looks like you,

Arashikage steel does not break.

Are dedicated to the belief that there is no greater peace

Are you really going to stand by and watch as Earth is destroyed?

Are you spinning?

Aren't you supposed to stop people from shooting my dad?

Armour prototype is complete to your specs.

As a friend, you've got to get a new speech.

As far as wheels go,

As Roadblock leads the ground team.

As the vacuum created by the killing remains.

As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.

Asked you here with the goal of universal disarmament.

At the push

Avenue K, Georgetown. 9:00 p.m.

Awesome. This room is awesome!

Baby, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Back. Damn, that's good.

Baldy.

Be a good G.I. Joe and drop the gun. We're walking out of here.

Became my home.

Beginning command protocols.

Besides, we've grown close.

Best two out of three. That didn't count.

Better friend.

Between August 9th and August 19th,

BLIND MASTER: I am sorry, Storm Shadow.

BLIND MASTER: If Cobra and Zartan are in the White House,

BLIND MASTER: Yes.

Block, I got Flint. We got to get to cover!

Block, stand down.

Block? Block, where are you?

Block.

Block.

Block. Block.

Boom!

Boom!

Brenda, hand me that pen.

Brother Block, as always,

But acts like me.

But an imposter President?

But before the Atomic Eight break bread,

But don't relax, boys, still put holes in you.

But don't worry. You're gonna forget everything,

But for this once,

But he can't move until we're all in position.

But he didn't act alone.

But he is family and we can trust him.

But I never get bored.

But I only broke into one.

But I only press it for a price.

But I really have to make my deadline.

But I'm taking heavy fire!

But I've always been a fan.

But I've always thought about what you might look like.

But it's a few words, right? I mean, how much can...

But most of all,

But move swiftly. You may already be too late.

But my path was chosen for me

But only one leader of the free world.

But ****stan remains an ally.

But that is not...

But that's not all. "Supper" became "dinner."

But the Cobra operatives, Storm Shadow

But the conflagration we seek to avoid.

But the heart and the eyes? This prevents us

But they live to terrorise me. You trained them well.

But we have to at least try. I mean, there might be...

But we have to work together.

But who would stand to gain the most by framing you for this crime?

But yesterday I hung out with Bono.

By my enemy

By pressing that button, Zartan initiated an auto drop sequence.

By the same sword you once used to kill our master.

Call me Joe.

Call sign

Call your people to confirm.

Can I trust you with nothing?

Can we be traced?

Can you use a care package thingy? I can bring you one.

Captain Duke Hauser now leads Joe Tactical Operations.

Captain Jaye Burnett.

Certain jurisdictional freedoms.

CHAIRMAN: Great job, Captain.

Charlie.

Cheater.

Check the door. Give me a sit rep.

Check this out.

CHIEF OF STAFF: Hey, hon.

CHIEF OF STAFF: The ****stani President may in fact be dead,

Chivalry.

Clearly went beyond the boundaries of their mission.

Clutch, station the transport vehicle! Move!

COBRA COMMANDER: Enough!

COBRA COMMANDER: Hoo ah.

COBRA COMMANDER: In 48 hours, Zeus will launch.

COBRA COMMANDER: Someone took his time.

COBRA COMMANDER: Soon the world will cower in the face of Zeus.

COBRA COMMANDER: Take him to the mountains to heal.

COBRA COMMANDER: We drop it!

COBRA COMMANDER: Zeus is ready.

COBRA COMMANDER: Zeus is ready.

Cobra Commander.

Cobra Commander.

Cobra Commander's bugging out.

Cobra one, Cobra one, I need eyes on! Eyes on!

Cold War stuff.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, who's going to follow suit, huh?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's move.

Come. Welcome to Einsargen.

Controls the U.S. nuclear arsenal

Correction, they will have to answer to me.

Correction, they will have to answer to me.

Cruel. Indestructible.

Damn it!

Damn it.

Damn Ninjas.

Dance?

Defector in hand. En route to pickup. Come on.

Defend yourself.

Desperately wanted a fourth, and

Destro.

Did it work?

Did you know that during REM sleep,

Disguise.

Distinguished Marksmen.

Do you deny that your envy and hatred drove you to shed

Do you know my favourite bit? I get to blow stuff up.

DOD says I can't come out of retirement.

Does Brenda get a vote?

Don't you worry about him. He'll be more than ready.

Don't.

Drop it!

Drop.

Dude, completely inappropriate.

DUKE: I owe you one, Mouse. Clear!

DUKE: All right, listen up!

DUKE: Approaching target. Ten hut! Make ready!

DUKE: Check that, Block, but I can't, man.

DUKE: Go, go, go!

DUKE: Retaliation.

DUKE: Returning fire! (LAUGHS)

DUKE: Sir, the nukes have been recovered and disabled.

DUKE: Team two, expect heavy contact. Bring the rain!

DUKE: Weapons secured!

Duke!

During my check of the President, look what I found.

Each of you will clear out his nuclear closet immediately.

Each satellite contains 10 hollow platinum tubes

Ears, open.

Easy, easy.

Eight.

Enemy fire! Time out! Enemy fire!

Enjoy your evening, Miss Vandervoort.

Enough for a battle.

Enough out of you, Lee Harvey.

Equipment check!

Even if Snake Eyes and Jinx grab Storm,

Everybody wants to rule the world.

Everyone keep your eye on the prize.

Except for that... Did you sc**** your elbow?

Except maybe hopelessness. (LAUGHS)

Excuse me.

Extraction? What are we, teeth?

Eyes on the Emerald City.

Facilities, personnel.

Failure to participate will be considered an act of war.

Fall back! Fall back!

FEMALE REPORTER: (ON TV) The future of the country

Fifteen, in the case of North Korea, just to be sure.

Filled with a tungsten rod.

Final targeting to begin shortly.

Fire!

FIREFLY: Ain't she a beauty?

FIREFLY: Commander, I have the case.

FIREFLY: The eyes are the windows to the soul.

FIREFLY: Well done. (CHUCKLES)

Firefly. Good to see you, old friend.

Firefly. It's good to know we're not running low on crazy.

Five.

Flawless microtechnology.

Flint

Flint, inventory every piece of equipment we got left.

Flint, Jaye, if any support is needed, you'll reinforce

Flint, Jaye, Snake, you guys take the flank.

Flint, let's go. Flint?

Flint, status!

Flint, stay put.

FLINT: Are you sure we can trust this Stoop guy?

FLINT: Back up.

FLINT: Copy that.

FLINT: Courtyard clear. No sign of him.

FLINT: Duke!

FLINT: Fire now!

FLINT: How many stars would someone need on their shoulder

FLINT: Just marking our territory, sir.

FLINT: Okay, wait. Hold on a second.

FLINT: Protocol says we make a distress call, right?

FLINT: Sit tight! I'm taking a detour!

FLINT: That was a nice touch, right?

FLINT: What?

Flint.

Flint's down! Flint's down!

Following the assassination of President...

For a nuclear summit.

For anyone with anger management issues.

For when you find Cobra Commander.

For who I would become.

Forgive me. That's an army I'd like to enlist in.

Forgive our staunchest foes.

Four knots? Left to right.

Four.

FRENCH LEADER: Don't do this!

FRENCH LEADER: You will have to answer for this.

FRENCH LEADER: You will have to answer for this.

From acting out our dreams.

Full arrest! Full arrest!

General Colton, can you get us close?

General Colton, if I may...

General Colton.

General?

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

Get down!

Get me the G.I. Joes.

Get the control case from Zartan. I'm going to drop them all.

Gift from his family.

Girl Scout to secretary.

Girls with guns.

Given to you by our beloved Hard Master.

Go ahead, Marvin.

Go clean up the chocolate stains you left in your mother's bedroom.

Go in.

Go!

Go!

Good job, Tiny Tim.

Good to see you, brother.

Good, sir.

Good.

Good.

Got a little too close to Mount Olympus.

Got to love the little guy.

Gravity does the rest.

Great job.

Great soldier.

GUARD 1: Clear on the north!

GUARD 2: Clear!

GUARD: Fire! Fire!

GUARD: Peel back! Move!

Guys were lined up outside that door to fight me.

Guys, move.

Had you worried for a minute, man.

Have been captured by the G.I. Joes

He didn't want to put his life in the hands of a woman.

He died before I got the chance.

He stopped using "you know" and "kind of"

He wanted to hook up the nation's nuclear arsenal

He who controls this briefcase,

He wouldn't believe it.

He'd be very proud of you.

He's got 1,000 tells.

He's got smooth cheeks. He's got no facial hair.

He's not a good poker player.

He's not acting like the man we know. We find out why,

He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.

He's with us.

Head to the door! Go, go, go!

Heavy enemy fire! I need you to bring them up the line. Bring them up the line.

Hell, yeah?

Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah.

Hello?

Help me out here?

Here we go.

Here, men rushed through the breach in a madness.

Here, take a look.

Hey, Duke.

Hey, Mouse, are you ready with that 18 year old aim?

Hey, Mouse.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. I said we got guns to clean.

Hi.

High Speed Sentry. HISS.

His numbers are up.

History rewards the bold.

History will stand in judgment.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Home in time for Top Chef.

Home is where the help is.

Hoo ah.

How about we dance?

How are you?

How come when the General says it, it sounds crazy?

How could you be so good at combat? You stink at this.

How do we strike?

How is our former President?

How long can the average man hold his breath?

How long till drop?

How many of our men has he killed?

How was your trip?

How we got hit,

How your parents make a kid this big, man?

How'd you get in?

How's anybody gonna know we're alive?

How's your heart rate? (LAUGHS)

Huh?

Huh?

Humidity, I say, is about 62%.

I ain't gonna be in neutral.

I am not against you.

I am not with you.

I became a Joe to serve. In the field.

I bought my little girls a karaoke machine

I brought my own.

I brought you some news.

I call upon my fellow world leaders

I came here when I was 14 with a life expectancy of 13.

I can't scratch my ass in this town without getting on the watch list.

I don't get it like I used to. All right?

I don't know if I'm gonna trust a pastry from a gumbo chef.

I don't see him, do you?

I don't think so. You're not going to kill your best asset.

I enlisted the next day.

I figured North Korea for last.

I finally asked him why. He said

I get to go again because you talked.

I got it from here.

I got it up to 60 on the dyno today.

I got it.

I got payments on that truck, man.

I grew 8 inches and gained 60 pounds.

I have asked myself over and over

I mean, otherwise, we're sort of...

I need your help.

I never questioned...

I owe you one, brother.

I punched a guy so hard he couldn't move his arm to tap out.

I really want to see that face.

I really want to see that face.

I repeat, immediate air support!

I said stand down!

I see you've arranged transportation.

I see. Look at the size of your neck.

I sewed with your father.

I think I'm faster than you, Snake Eyes.

I think you got the wrong street.

I think you need to relax. I believe I outrank you,

I told you I was gonna find the man who did this.

I trained with Snake for six years.

I want it all.

I want to direct your attention to live images of your homelands.

I want to see that face.

I want you to ache for what once was and will never be again.

I want you to doubt that there was ever a word for escape.

I want you to pine.

I was actually thinking about something a little more your size.

I was bounced around from home to home, until this

I was gonna kill him.

I wasn't going to bury any more Joes.

I will shoot him in the head. Do you understand me?

I, stay with me,

I'd already beaten down half of it.

I'd like to bring a couple friends of mine.

I'll cyber blast an encoded beacon every six hours.

I'll hunt 'em to ground.

I'll need him for the war I'm about to start.

I'll take it from here.

I'll take two cases of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks.

I'm a very big fan. I love the black.

I'm actually gonna miss the red.

I'm better.

I'm bleeding out right there and you're...

I'm going that way.

I'm gonna let you roll my truck.

I'm gonna need something a little more to go on

I'm not going to be the man who waited and saw.

I'm not here to sell you anything.

I'm not too impressed with your Cabinet.

I'm now at threaten.

I'm on it, sir.

I'm on it.

I'm out.

I'm ready, Blind Master.

I'm sorry, ma'am, you're...

I'm sorry.

I'm sure your electorate will be happy by our final proposal.

I'm taking rounds back here.

I'm the quicker blower upper, baby.

I'm very disappointed in you.

I've got guns to clean.

Idiot.

Idles a little rough in neutral.

If any Joes did survive,

If any Joes have survived...

If he ain't here, he's got good reason.

If my dad could see me now...

If you touch my family...

Imagine the army it takes to make me look like this.

In another five, you're gonna wake up with no idea I ever existed.

In five minutes, you're gonna be asleep.

In just days,

In the affairs of foreign nations.

In the capital of Islamabad

In the immortal words of Jay Z,

Incoming! Incoming! Go, go, go, go, go!

India, Israel, China.

Inside and out. He can help us find a way to stop it.

Insurgents are armed with Kalashnikovs,

Insurgents closing in, sir!

Into international territory.

Is capable of destroying each of your countries 14 times over.

Is Storm Shadow in?

Is this where I ask you, what do you have planned?

Isn't the President?

It feels wrong.

It has to be the key to whatever he's planning.

It never occurred to me what you might sound like.

It was the deepest they ever dug.

It would be my pleasure, sir.

It's a sedative that causes anterograde amnesia.

It's all relative.

It's due to our descent into a former East German mine shaft.

It's good to have you back, sir.

It's just a pen.

It's just that they're trapped inside themselves.

It's just... (GROANS)

It's my old stomping ground.

It's our turn.

It's so interesting. This is where science has come.

It's the face all those pretty little Joes had in the desert

It's time to prove that you are ready to join the G.I. Joes.

It's very Johnny Cash.

It's what happens when you're in trouble, you come home.

JAMES CARVILLE: El Presidente is on a roll.

Jaye and Colton, you're a go for POTUS.

Jaye, get out of there now.

Jaye, now.

Jaye, start that database on our President.

Jaye, what are we up against?

JAYE: Before you retired, you sewed on a security commission

JAYE: Duke, come in.

JAYE: Flint, get your ass back to the team.

JAYE: Get down! JOE 1: Take cover!

JAYE: He didn't believe in female soldiers.

JAYE: Hey, I got something you'll want to see.

JAYE: Hustle up, guys. You've got to get that defector

JAYE: I got a strand of hair from his jacket. I hope it's enough.

JAYE: I really, I don't dance.

JAYE: I'm in.

JAYE: Jaye and General Colton. Checkpoint neutralised.

JAYE: Move out!

JAYE: Negative, Flint! Stick with the plan!

Jaye?

Jaye.

Jaye.

Jesus Christ. I listened to everything you said over and over again.

Jinx and Storm, Trojan Horse.

Jinx, cousin to Storm Shadow,

Jinx, in order to excel in war,

JINX: Block, secure the perimeter!

JINX: Go!

JINX: Lieutenant Lady Jaye, this is Jinx and Snake Eyes.

Jinx.

Jinx.

JOE 1: All teams, rally to transpo, immediately.

JOE 1: Alpha, Bravo, radio check.

JOE 1: Delta team in position. Echo, you're a go.

JOE 1: Go in ghost till first contact.

JOE 1: Let's go, Rivera, let's go.

JOE 2: Clear 'em out of there.

JOE 2: Copy.

JOE 2: Get 'em out of the L.Z.!

JOE 2: On the ground! On the ground!

JOE 2: Team two secure. No losses.

JOE 2: Ten o'clock!

JOE 2: This is Echo. Beginning assault.

JOE 2: Three and six on the floor. JOE 1: Copy that.

JOE 2: To your weapons! Let's go!

JOE 3: Help me!

JOE 3: Team three headed upstairs.

JOE 4: East hallway, clear.

JOE: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying.

Just a few short months of me.

Just don't forget who put you there.

Just got out of poker. Poorer but wiser.

Just invite me.

Just need my orders.

Just right around the corner.

Keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.

Kitty likes to scratch.

Knuckles, again? Really?

Lady Jaye,

Lady Jaye.

Lady Jaye. Hey.

Last place I thought I'd see you.

Late, I know.

Launch.

Launch.

Lay low over there. Nobody gonna bother you.

Leave the tanks to me.

Left thumb on top versus right thumb on top.

Let history record who was responsible for this madness.

Let me introduce you. This is Flint.

Let me tell you a little bit about the place.

Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Quickly, quickly!

Let's kick that ass! Hoo ah!

Let's move.

Let's move.

Lieutenant Lady Jaye, requesting immediate aid.

Like a fish not knowing it's in water.

Like you pay taxes.

Listen to me. I sound like a real estate agent.

Literally.

Long range transportation and wheels down at 1900 hours.

Look at you. You got grown.

Look, I love your kids. I do.

Look, if the Commander in Chief is an imposter

Love you.

Lower your weapons.

Made of black carbon fibre.

Make sure you bring your earplugs.

Make the call.

Makes you wonder about your neighbours.

Making more things go boom by 9:00 a.m.

MALE REPORTER: (ON TV) Violence continues across ****stan

MAN 1: Get him! MAN 2: Take him out!

MAN 1: We're clear.

MAN 1: You got next watch? MAN 2: Maintain radio silence.

MAN 2: Let's go!

Man, don't call me that name.

MAN: Good evening. Good evening.

MAN: All satellites have begun load for final countdown.

MAN: Follow that ground team! Go!

MAN: Joe Command to covert operations.

MAN: Launch codes confirmed.

MAN: On your six, Cobra two!

MAN: Three, two, one,

Maybe. Why?

Me.

Medical personnel are on the scene.

Merry Christmas.

MILITARY OFFICIAL: Ladies and gentlemen, the G.I. Joes.

Mmm mmm.

Mmm.

Mother...

Mount up! Let's exfil.

Move! Move!

Mr President.

Mr President. Amy Vandervoort, Fox News.

My cholesterol's a little high.

My name's not Brenda.

My new Secret Service,

My Zeus satellites are moving into position

NARRATOR: Since the end of the nanomite wars,

National Security Advisor. Secretary of Defence.

Negative.

Negative. Proceed to rendezvous Charlie.

Never a doubt.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nine.

Ninety seconds.

No drill! Bring the restraints!

No one here dies unless I say so!

No one's been here for years. This is gonna have to be our pit for now.

No problem. There you go.

No sign of Firefly.

No, I ain't lost.

No, no, it's cool.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Unfair advantage.

No, not stars. Buttons on his suit.

No, we're not doing that.

No! That's... No. Negative!

No? Fine.

No. Anything we do now is a rumour of a rumour.

No. No, I don't think so.

No. There's only one man who could authorise a strike like that.

None of the fallout.

Not a war.

Not easy to sneak out of that big, white,

Not from their backs, they don't.

Not of me. Of you.

Not only for the peace we seek to achieve,

Not the first time I sent two girls screaming from a room.

Not the first time you sent a girl running out of the room screaming.

Notice anything strange about your boss?

Now as your eyes and mind

Now this incident

Now, I busted out of eight prisons.

Now, I was prepared to cajole to get what I want.

Now, I'm not gonna call our Commander in Chief old.

Now, to direct a rod to its target, we don't launch it or fire it.

Now, you're looking at an advanced weapons system

Now.

Now.

Nuclear disarmament.

Nuclear zero.

Nuke's disabled.

Observe.

Of a button.

Of all the things you could say...

Of our existence is terminated.

Of the eight nuclear powers.

Oh, Fox, of course.

Oh, he is worth his weight in platinum.

Oh, hi.

Oh, I bet that endears you to the people.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, the three of you are like my fantasy football team.

Oh, yeah, I brought back the interns.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Okay, here's a quote.

On my first drop I popped a live round into my mouth.

On my orders

On schedule, Commander. Five minutes to live fire.

On three.

One in the chamber.

One of my passions. Nuclear disarmament.

One of us cared enough about his place in history

One President, two fingerprints.

One should be as nimble as a cat,

One word,

One. (FLINT GROANS)

Only minor injuries to report, sir.

Only one drawback.

Ooh. High score.

Open up that couch.

Open up.

Open your eyes, Mr Ex President.

Or die

Or the man into whose arms you were chased.

Or the rock you crawled out from.

Ordnance live and loaded. Awaiting drop authorisation.

Over your six remaining countries.

P dub 381 black Tempest, just out of the box. Rounds.

PILOT: Arch Angel, go for drop.

PILOT: Star One Flight commander separating for drop.

Pinned down, brother Duke. Pinned down.

Plan B, rendezvous Bravo.

Pluck a single hair from Jinx's head.

Prepare for extraction.

PRESIDENT: ...an addiction to offshore energy,

PRESIDENT: Those who stand beside us,

Presiding over a ceremony honouring the G. I. Joes.

Private Gaines, if you see Flint, shoot him.

Produces a neural chemical

Put some pressure on it.

Quarter speed, remote controlled.

Ready and

Rebuilding has begun around the world.