Crazy Stupid Love (2011) Edit

A lot.

A mother and daughter. That's very Wilt Chamberlain esque, even for you.

A pickle, if you will.

A romance set in Salem in the 1600s. It is about sin.

Aah. You have cold hands.

After you, hon.

After, my dad started teasing me about my first date, the way dads do.

Ah, okay. Well, you're not listening.

Ah...

All my life I wanted to grow up.

All right, buddy.

All right, so there's a gray door. You see the gray door?

All right.

All right. Could help.

All right. Hannah, look at you. Look at you.

All right. Well, we may as well wait for your daughter.

All right. You know what? I have to not big sister you. It's fine if...

All right. You know what? I have to not big sister you. It's fine if...

Almost 25 years of marriage and you have nothing to say?

Am I boring you? I'm totally boring you. I'm...

And always.

And by get out...

And don't get me wrong...

And I can guarantee you this:

And I cheated, so I have no right to be angry.

And I didn't know about it.

And I didn't want my parents to find out.

And I don't know what to do about it. It's not something I can really stop.

And I don't know when you and I stopped being us.

And I have 18 layers of clothes on.

And I knew.

And I know that makes some of you laugh because I'm only 13...

And I know you're 17, and I know I just turned 13...

And I love you, Emily.

And I owe it all to you.

And I promise you this too, Cal:

And I spent all this time with you, I'm trying to make you more like me...

And I told him, Dad, it's no big deal.

And I used to think, and really believe...

And I'm glad for you.

And I'm so mad at you.

And I've been to Maine, so that's a sixth state. So I've been to six states.

And it was so bad, Cal.

And it's easy to just look at a 13 year old and say:

And it's Hannah.

And it's so much older than I thought I'd be.

And love?

And now, to introduce our first student speaker...

And she still loves him. He's not gonna give up on my mom...

And she was like, Look at this frown on your face. What is that?

And she's too good for you.

And that is the definition of cuckoldom.

And that is the first time that I ever lied to my father.

And then just put the match in.

And then you sleep together.

And they always wanna have sex with me.

And this book is just about a bunch of assholes...

And this is my friend Jacob. He was just leaving.

And we haven't been us. Not for a long time.

And you are a, uh...

And you need to hear the truth. Okay?

And your dad?

And, given the opportunity...

And, you know, Dad, he couldn't really handle my mother...

And, you know, don't worry about tonight. You'll be fine.

Are we gonna be adults about this, or we gonna...?

Are we gonna be adults about this?

Are we interrupting?

Are you okay?

Are you really not going to tell me what you do?

Aren't you gonna say anything?

As you know, Robbie's shining moment...

Ask me how many times I've used it.

Asshole. As in someone who tells a woman that he'll call and never does.

Asshole. As in someone who uses honesty to get a woman into bed with him...

Asshole. Ha ha ha.

At the El Torito Grill? God, I hope not.

At the end of the night do I ask them to come home?

Aw.

Batshit crazy.

Be better than the Gap.

Because I should not have jumped out of that car. I should've fought for you.

Because if you do, I just know that you are gonna kick that bar's butt...

Because they fell in love...

Because when you find the one...

Because you fight for your soul mates.

Because you're a disgusting teenager, that's why.

Been to St. Louis? No, I haven't.

Behold.

Bernie?

Bernie?

Bernie. Bernie.

Brrp. Long term.

But even though we won, they still deserve our respect.

But he was soft.

But I can't guarantee that you won't not regret it.

But I don't want to.

But I just figure...

But I think we can all agree...

But I won a spelling bee and my dad cried at the spelling bee.

But I'm mad at myself too.

But I'm not so sure.

But I've seen too much already.

But if she wants to divorce you...

But if you're gonna fight, just do it inside. Keep it in the family, okay?

But look, trust me. You know...

But maybe that's good, you know? Because maybe I'll just say it.

But now it's become corrupted.

But she's your soul mate, right?

But soon our age difference won't even matter.

But that's not why I'm here.

But...

Bye.

Bye.

Cal, are you seriously gonna do this in front of the kids?

Cal, be better than the Gap.

Cal, what are you doing with a daughter that's grown up?

Cal, would you take that straw out of your mouth? Please.

Cal, you got a kind face.

Cal? I just wanted to say...

Cal.

Call me back, please. Thanks.

Can I back that thing out of the driveway for you?

Can I get you another?

Can I sit in the massage chair?

Can I tell you something?

Can I...?

Can women have midlife crises?

Can you give me five minutes?

Can you...?

Century City Mall, food court, 3:00, Thursday.

Check it out.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Claire said I can't be friends with you anymore.

Close the door. Um...

Coin Bears? You don't have Coin Bears.

Cold.

Come here.

Come on, let's get you to bed before your parents get home.

Come on, she's my daughter. Stop it. Stop it.

Come on, you gotta keep it interesting. Interest me.

Come on.

Come on.

Conan O'Brien.

Could you do me a favor?

Credit card.

Dad, can we go to McDonald's? Uh, no.

Dad. Jacob! Oh, God.

Daddy, no.

David is an accountant.

David Lindhagen certainly took what he wanted, didn't he?

David Lindhagen cuckolded me. He made a cuckold out of me.

David Lindhagen cuckolded me. He made a cuckold out of me.

David Lindhagen took my wife and slept with her.

David Lindhagen. From work.

David Lindhagen. I know.

David, this is Jessica, my babysitter.

David, you know what? You've been a great friend.

Definitely don't be yourself.

Did I miss it? Did I miss the parent teacher conference thing last year?

Didn't know what to do.

Dimmesdale's A is inflicted upon himself in the form of a...

Dirty Dancing?

Divorce.

Do I really want any part of this?

Do not take those keys! Do not take those keys! I'm not letting you take those keys.

Do those parental controls work at all?

Do you find me attractive?

Do you have any idea how much I like you?

Do you have any idea, like, where you lost it?

Do you have anything you'd like to say?

Do you have that mold that makes cakes...?

Do you know if this is chintz?

Do you know that your kids are the only ones that I babysit for...

Do you really want any part of this?

Do you wanna do your shot?

Do you wanna get a beer next week?

Do you wanna get a?

Don't want you to blow up the house.

Don't you think you're a little old to use cheesy pickup lines?

Dumpy. That I had to move into after my wife left me.

England. Yuck.

Even things that you haven't considered trying before.

Everybody. Uh, if I could...

Excuse me, Emily?

Feel like I'm going skiing.

Feeling kind of stupid, but...

Fine.

First of all, they can spell. Second of all, I'm just saying.

Forced to wear the Scarlet A to punish her adulterous behavior.

Frankly, there aren't many, so you should really take full advantage of it.

Fuck.

Gay.

Get down from there.

Go big or go home, right, bud?

Go get her back.

Go hang with the other high schoolers. Go ahead, see if I care. I don't care.

Go home, Dad.

Go TMZ on his ass.

God, he's such a weird kid.

Good for you. That's great. I know your dad's really proud.

Good night, fancy face.

Good.

Grey Goose, right?

Grow up.

Growing up, getting a job, getting married.

Guess what.

Guys, check your ties. Make sure everything is nice and neat.

Guys, I have to step out for a couple of minutes. Okay? All right? Okay.

Guys, I need you to pay attention.

Hagen.

Hannah Banana.

Hate this. Bad.

Have a good night.

He believes in the existence...

He didn't even know that I'm in love with him.

He died a long time ago.

He is opening the car door for your wife right now.

He likes to slap me in the face.

He made a lot of money, which is why I have all this stuff.

He slept with my wife.

He was probably too sweet.

He was such a sweet guy.

He's a better guy than you are in every category.

He's a really strange kid.

He's ni... ? Hannah.

He's older.

He's right on the verge of a big hit knocking him out of the game here.

He's staying in there, very competitive today.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Cal.

Here we go, huh? To all of our fallen homeys.

Here.

Here's the deal.

Hey, baby.

Hey, David, you know, I really have a lot to do.

Hey, everyone, it's just a divorce.

Hey, fancy face, you wanna go?

Hey, I have to go back to the office. You're gonna have to wait for me there.

Hey, Jacob, it's Cal.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry about you and Cal.

Hey, Liz.

Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Weaver, how was...?

Hey, Robbie, have you seen Molly's homework?

Hey, sorry I kind of dropped off the grid there, pal.

Hey, Tiger.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hot guy from the bar who hit on you is here.

Hey. Jacob Palmer.

Hey. You ready to go, honey?

Hi, Em.

Hi, I'm Robbie's mom.

Hi, Mr. Riley. Hi, Mr. Riley.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. What's going on?

Hi. Who looks like a carrot?

Hmm.

Hmm. Okay, fine. I'll do it. And then we bang.

Hold on a second. Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?

Holy crap.

Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or euthanize you.

Honestly, thank you very much for your job offer. I will consider it.

Honey, what are you trying to say?

Honey! Get out of my purse. Stay out of my purse!

Honey?

Honey.

Honk.

Honk. You gotta get that fixed.

How about that? Ha, ha. To you.

How are you doing this, like...

How good it feels.

How many total?

How so?

I agree. But it works every time.

I always dreamt of playing shortstop for the St. Louis Cardinals, actually...

I always wondered who buys those kind of...

I am actually begging you to stop it.

I am here to bang the hot guy that hit on me at the bar.

I am imagining you suffocating under a pile of women. Call me.

I am saving you from disaster, because you're asking to pre board the Titanic.

I am sexy.

I am wildly unhappy.

I can be the one you long for.

I can be the one you long for.

I can tell that he's sad. Even though he looks better...

I checked with other accountants.

I chose you.

I couldn't say Hannah. How do you know my dad?

I did, yes.

I didn't give up.

I didn't realize that you thought that we were there.

I didn't say that. I'd love to take you to the ballet. I'd drop you off.

I don't eat Sushi.

I don't have any money.

I don't know what I was doing before this.

I don't know what to do. I need some advice.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

I don't know why I did that.

I don't know, he's nice.

I don't like this S E X talk in front of the K I D S.

I felt like I was doing it with the two old guys from The Muppet Show.

I find you very attractive.

I got it.

I guarantee you this:

I guess I should take that down, huh?

I guess I'm pretty sad too.

I guess.

I had my doubts, of course.

I had no intention of falling for a married woman...

I had to be. You were such a good miniature golfer.

I hate it.

I have a whole set from each state.

I have calf pants.

I have loved her even when I've hated her.

I have loved her through the birth of my three perfect children.

I have never experienced that in my life.

I have pants just for my calves. Calf pants.

I haven't been around for him? That's what you're telling me?

I heard you crying the other night.

I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable.

I just didn't know. You haven't really been around. I don't think he knows either.

I just pictured myself in the ballet.

I just... I don't know. I guess I got lazy. I got...

I know him. I have witnessed him in action.

I know.

I know. I know.

I let her babysit for you, you son of a bitch.

I like Pringles.

I like you, Emily.

I literally stopped listening at Emily.

I looked at people who were in love...

I love curling up with a rich cup of coffee.

I love her.

I love how you're being so honest.

I love you, Jessica.

I love you.

I loved you ever since you first changed my sister's diaper.

I loved you when you came into my bedroom and I was under the covers...

I made an effort when we were younger, didn't I?

I mean, do you?

I mean, how do you get them to see you as not just a kid in high school, you know?

I mean, I actually never really had a lesson...

I mean, I... Oh, no. I'm sorry. Forget it. Just ignore me.

I mean, miniature golf and dancing. You were such a great dancer.

I mean, the money's not as good, but there's less travel.

I mean, there's lots of beautiful women in this bar. Your friend included. Hi.

I mean, this girl...

I met my soul mate when I was 15 years old.

I met my soul mate when I was 15 years old...

I miss my wife.

I miss you too.

I miss you, Em.

I need some time, I think...

I need that drink.

I put on the song Time of Your Life. I do the big move.

I really like this song. This was a good choice. Yeah.

I slept with our son's eighth grade English teacher.

I still love you, Jessica.

I taught her how to drive a car.

I taught her how to ride a bike.

I think I'm having a midlife crisis, maybe.

I think the fact that I did it, it just shows how broken we are.

I think we should start approaching women tonight.

I think we were right in choosing Emily.

I thought that you were gonna propose for some reason.

I TiVoed Saw III.

I tried Googling it.

I wanna help you. I'm gonna help you rediscover your manhood.

I wanna show you off to my ex wife and make her really jealous.

I wanted to grow older so people would take me seriously.

I was 17. That's why we had to get married so young.

I was in love.

I was supposed to say that you are the perfect combination of sexy and cute...

I was trying to move on.

I was wrong, Dad. There's no such thing as...

I went and met this girl the other night. She was heckling me the whole time we...

I will kill you.

I will never stop trying.

I wouldn't touch you if my life depended on it.

I wrote the word push on it?

I, uh...

I'd love to catch up, but I'm doing something to the house later.

I'll be fine.

I'll come for you then.

I'll kill you.

I'll see you around.

I'm a cuckold.

I'm a different guy now.

I'm a little worried you have AIDS.

I'm a total stranger. How would I know something so intimate?

I'm five years sober.

I'm getting that.

I'm glad you called about this.

I'm gonna be going out with a lot of different girls on a lot of different dates.

I'm gonna talk to my friends.

I'm great. I'm Jacob. What's your name?

I'm happy for you, that you've changed.

I'm in.

I'm just glad you're here.

I'm just...

I'm mysterious.

I'm never gonna give you my approval.

I'm really glad you came.

I'm really mad at you for what you did.

I'm serious, Dad. I just need some inspiration right now. All right?

I'm so proud of you, baby.

I'm sober five years, asshole!

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

I'm sorry you had to see that.

I'm sorry, continue.

I'm sorry, Robbie, I can't give you that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm playing catch up. How do you two know each other, exactly?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

I'm sorry. What?

I'm sorry...

I'm spending all this time with her and she is a game changer.

I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working.

I'm very nervous.

I'm wearing a shirt and a tie and a sweater and a suede jacket...

I'm your soul mate.

I'm, you know, good in bed.

I've been by this place a million times, never come in.

I've been waiting for so long.

I've heard so many wonderful things about you from Nanna.

I've only had sex with one woman. In my entire life.

If you end up with that, what am I gonna end up with?

Impress me. Impress me with how interesting you are.

In fairness, I didn't know where he was going with that.

In the afternoon.

In the end, she winds up back with my dad.

In the movies it's always men having them and buying ridiculous yellow Porsches...

In what world, honey? Please, turn around. No.

Is that pervert sexting you?

Is there dim lighting somewhere? Oh, God.

Is this one of those foam pillows from Brookstone?

Is this some kind of a skit? Because I'm lost.

Is this something I'm gonna have to clean up?

It all sounded so good to me.

It could have been cancer, buddy.

It does.

It keeps raining, you might wanna turn off the automatic setting.

It reminds me of an old story my law professor told me...

It says that you should call your dad.

It was a gift from my grandmother.

It's a big game. Game. Creepy, creepy little game you play.

It's all sweat under here. This is just sweat from here down.

It's all that I've heard, Cal, for the past two nights. It's all anybody's heard.

It's been a really hard year.

It's been a week. I haven't heard from you. Should I be concerned?

It's Cologne.

It's from South Africa.

It's in the kitchen. Mr. Bobo was in the kitchen the whole time.

It's just, uh, I'm a little thrown.

It's nice, lot of pretty girls.

It's no surprise

It's not like I had a lot of training or anything.

It's not my favorite. Thank you.

It's not that simple, kiddo.

It's okay, I'm not worried.

It's okay, that's my fault.

It's something we wanna tell them on our own, okay?

It's that I get really drunk and then I pass out.

Jacob, it's so nice to meet you.

Jessica Riley, you are my soul mate.

Jessica, uh, what...?

Jesus Christ.

Jesus, really?

Jesus.

Just a bunch of weird videos of moms in bed.

Just a little. Just a little bit.

Just because I've watched you pick up women...

Just for the record, I think about you while I do it.

Just have to slide the gray door down again and you're good to go.

Just no talking about your kids, your job, David Lindhagen, don't you dare.

Just simmer down, okay? We all have arguments.

Just too soft, too sensitive.

Just, come on, let me deliver my closing argument.

Keep her company?

Kids.

Kind of in a rush.

Know how much pain and suffering you caused my friend?

Ladies and gentlemen, Robbie Weaver.

Ladies, when you're on stage...

Last week, when I told you that I had to work late...

Later on I'd pick you up and we could go to a ball game.

Least, that's what my 13 year old son tells me.

Let go of me! Let go of me! Let go of me!

Let me ask a question. How much you got for clothes?

Let me get this straight. So you guys are a thing.

Let's focus on Robbie.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's talk about how many women you've been with.

Like a lot a lot, or just like a little?

Listen, if this is a Miyagi thing, I'm not getting it, so...

Listen, when my girl here passes...

Listen, why don't you grab your coat? I'll drive you home. All right.

Look at him. It's unbelievable. He's in love already.

Look at you.

Look at you. You're really a mother? I don't believe it, sister.

Look, I gave him the Cologne like you told me to...

Look, I know that it sounds harsh, but it's true.

Look, let's face it, Cal, all right?

Love this song.

Madison, I just had a question for you.

Make them feel beautiful, listen to their problems, open the door for them.

Man, are you growing up.

Many years ago, in the hallway of Woodside Middle School...

May I have your attention?

Maybe you remind me of someone.

Maybe your husband should tell you.

Maybe... Maybe I'll just tell you I slept with someone.

McCloud was a show in the '70s that...

Me?

Mm hm. Yeah, okay. Let's go there.

Mm hm. Yup. Molly, I'm going.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Yeah. You?

Molly. Say bye to Daddy.

Mom wants you to stay while she's out hooking.

Mom, no more steps. We're on the ground.

Mom, no, don't worry about it. Keep going.

Mom, relax. It's your husband, not al Qaeda.

Mr. And Mrs. Weaver?

Mr. Weaver.

Mrs. Weaver said she wanted a divorce, and I jumped out of the car.

Ms. Tafferty. She's the one he pulled the Scarlet Letter asshole routine on.

My friend Hannah here thinks he's sexy.

My question, and I don't mean to be blunt or insulting, but let's just call it what it is.

My schwantz is in your face. If it's not bothering you, we got a problem.

My son's graduation speech sucks.

My wife doesn't ignore David Lindhagen.

My wife is having intercourse with someone who is not me.

My wife was cheating on me with Lindhagen...

Never about yourself, always her.

Nice sweat suit.

Nine?

No way in hell.

No, it doesn't.

No, leave him. Let him go. He can handle it. Let him go.

No, no, no. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

No, no. It's fine. That's fine. Call me...

No, that's... My pleasure.

No, you know, I should have knocked.

No, you tell them to come home. They have no choice in the matter.

No! No! Let your father handle it. You're not to see that man again!

No.

No.

No.

No. No, I'm not.

No. No. Not my life. Not my life. I'm going. Okay?

No. No. Not real...

No. Not at one time.

No. Not yet.

No. This is.

Nobody wants to be alone.

Not for your sisters, but for my purposes, it's not gonna work.

Not the point. When we were married you were the only woman...

Now I've finally found someone To stand by me.

Now, does it come in sheets...?

Nowhere.

Of all the, um...

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Permission to approach the bench?

Oh, boy. You're kidding me.

Oh, come on.

Oh, dear God. Cheers, everyone.

Oh, God, this is ridiculous. I don't wanna do it.

Oh, God. Okay. That's... I'm sorry.

Oh, hey. Can I take this off now, please?

Oh, hi. Hi, Jess.

Oh, I don't know. Some game. He won't let me take this dumb blindfold off.

Oh, I get it.

Oh, I just, uh... I got the report on the end of year financials.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, my God, if it's gonna be hard work, why don't you just stop?

Oh, my God, this is so much fun.

Oh, my God, yes.

Oh, my God! Cal!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Uh, what happened?

Oh, my God. You did not just say that.

Oh, no. God, no. Don't be silly. I just...

Oh, okay. You gotta force his hand.

Oh, Robbie, baby, you're 13, you're not supposed to know what to do.

Oh, screw it. This is ridiculous.

Oh, shit. Oh, God.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, there it goes.

Oh, well, whatever. You, um... You look great.

Oh, yeah, it's a 4 by 8. Standard 4 by 8, your 3/4 inch stock. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Uh...

Oh, you know what? Just call anytime with stuff like that. That's...

Oh, you know, it, um...

Oh, you know. Well, you hear things, you know, so...

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Thank you. That is very nice of you to say. Very, very nice.

Oh. Um, the place is nice, Mr. Weaver.

Oh. Well, here's the thing:

Oh. Yeah, hey, it's me again.

Oh...

Okay, goodbye, Liz.

Okay, I know what happens in the PG 13 version of tonight, all right? I know.

Okay, it's more complicated than that.

Okay, Jessica, what's up?

Okay, Robbie, I'm really sorry, and I didn't see anything.

Okay, Robbie, this has to stop.

Okay, so then what do we do? What happens now? Like, logistically?

Okay, so then what do we do? What happens now? Like, logistically?

Okay, um...

Okay, wait. Which one of you is Lindhagen again?

Okay, we're good, we're good.

Okay, yeah, I did. I did.

Okay? No more.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Because I know I seemed confident back at the bar...

Okay. Hannah, can I buy you a drink?

Okay. I'm having trouble understanding what's going on right now.

Okay. Okay. Well, then we have nothing more to talk about.

Okay. Thanks, David.

Okay. Um...

Okay. Well, in that case, you got no right to wear New Balance sneakers ever.

One of the best parts about being a guy your age...

One.

Only married couples will understand that one.

Only reason they play them is they're catchy.

Our first speaker is not only the class salutatorian...

Our time as middle schoolers has come to an end.

Phew. Ha, ha.

Please, will you take off your shirt? I can't stop thinking. I need to just...

Really what I want to say...

Really? Beautiful.

Remember the first woman I picked up, that teacher?

Right. Exactly.

Robbie, this is David.

Robbie.

Rocks. Two limes?

Save a little for me.

Save a little.

Save room for a moment to be with me.

Save room for my love.

Say it.

Screws him.

Seals in all the juices.

See you at work.

Seriously, what do you do?

Seriously, what do you do?

Seriously?

Seriously? Conan O'Brien? You would do Conan O'Brien?

Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped.

Set you guys up with some snacks over here. TV's already on.

She couldn't say her H's at all.

She doesn't even care.

She just told me. I just found out, so I'm a little raw. It's...

She probably spit in it, so, no, thank you.

She said we had to choose between you and Emily.

She should know. She babysits for him.

She spit. She spit in that.

She was gorgeous. She was one of those women...

She will rue the day.

She's a game changer? No way.

She's all yours, David.

She's almost an adult. Lots of young women in and out of his apartment.

She's just looking for an opportunity to settle for a responsible and stable adult.

She's my soul mate, you know?

She's only four years older. You need to know that.

She's too young for this.

She's your wife again. How convenient.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shut up, shut up. Just shut up.

Slutty money?

So am I.

So can I buy you a drink, Kate?

So how was dinner?

So how's it going with David?

So I bought a firearm...

So I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Emily.

So I'll talk to you soon.

So I'm sorry to bother you.

So Molly, who's 6 at the time, can't find Mr. Bobo.

So much so I'm going to meet her mother right now.

So my question for you, Madison, is, um, how do you do that?

So shall we enter?

So Stanford, huh?

So tell me, what is it with women and ballerinas?

So that's one way to treat people.

So you guys, like, really know each other, then.

So you push it. And you turn it to the right.

So you put the impetus on her. She has to be the interesting one.

So you're seeing Mom tomorrow at my parent teacher thing.

So, David, I hear you broke up my parents' marriage.

So, Hannah...

So, you know, everything looks great.

So...

So...

Sometimes.

Soon as you opened your mouth, Tiffany started doubting whether she wanted to.

Sorry for being a dick.

Spreadsheets.

Spreadsheets.

Stop it. He didn't do anything.

Sure.

Sure. Proceed.

Sweetheart, what's the pro...? What's wrong?

Take care of her.

Teach Robbie how to objectify women. He'll love that.

Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole.

Tell me about it. Tell me how much you love her.

Thank God I'm drunk. Here we go.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Thank you. A store in Beverly Hills.

Thanks again.

Thanks for the Cologne.

Thanks.

Thanks. Feels good.

Thanks. That's a very generous adjective.

Thanks. You always look great.

That didn't mean anything.

That looks like you're sucking on a tiny schwantz.

That man's a pervert!

That must be it.

That too much? Hello?

That would not work on me.

That's $2500 a massage.