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Home > A Madea Christmas (2013)
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A Madea Christmas (2013)

A Madea Christmas (2013)

A Madea Christmas is a comedy film directed by and starring Tyler Perry, released in 2013. Madea, a wise-cracking, no-nonsense woman played by Perry, visits a small rural town alongside her family for the holidays. The movie tackles themes of love, forgiveness, and the importance of tradition in a heartwarming and humorous way. The cast includes Tika Sumpter, Chad Michael Murray, Larry the Cable Guy, and Kathy Najimy. For those interested in experiencing the laughter and festive spirit, you can watch A Madea Christmas and enjoy the sounds of holiday cheer by playing or downloading the movie.

A call came in just as I was leaving a meeting..
A little dusty, dusty.
A mangy dog walked up beside her.
A men's watch. You know, I like it with a leather band.
A private jet.
A try's a try, right?
A yellow ribbon means something.
A yellow ribbon, that means a memoriam.
About not being able to say Jesus or celebrate his birth.
Actually, I do. I'm on my way. I'll talk to you later.
Actually, in a town like yours. So your timing may be perfect.
Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.
Actually, we kind of have a problem.
Actually, you sure in the hell do. And the Jolly Green Giant too. Ho ho ho.
African American, Buddy.
After you.
Ain't got no eraser either. No cause...
Ain't no cab comin'. You gonna be sitting out here freezin'.
Ain't no chalk. Y'all ain't got no chalk?
Ain't nobody gonna mail me no check. I didn't mail my work up in here.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Ain't that right?
All black folk don't necessarily know each other.
All I'm saying is this.
All I'm saying is this...
All I'm saying, Son, if she don't eat meat...
All my stuff is illegal. I don't like driving through Georgia.
All right now. We gotta get outta here. Come on.
All right then. Let's do this.
All right, honey. If you find a ride, I'll go up there with you.
All right, I'm going to write my name on the board...
All right, people!
All right! That's enough!
All right? Now, I grew poinsetters for this.
All right.
All right. Get up. Get up.
All right. I'll be outside if y'all need me.
All right. I'll see you tomorrow.
All right. Keep going.
All right. Well, I will work on it.
All right. Well, what we gonna do is...
All righty. You go right ahead.
Always taught him to look at a woman's heart.
Amen.
And a little more open minds and open hearts.
And all the kids are really sad.
And as principal, I have to draw the line.
And as she sat there, she had that baby...
And as she sat there, she went into laborer.
And as she started laboring...
And as she was there...
And ask them for some of those really nice big, big girl drawers...
And capture the rapture, if you know what I mean.
And Conner was not in that dream.
And everybody gonna wonder what happened to you.
And everybody's mad at me because of the sponsor...
And he loves me, and he treats me oh so well.
And he still lives here, that Tanner.
And he was in love with her. She said, Joe.
And he would blindfold me.
And hide they Santa Claus, 'cause it's crazy around here.
And how was I supposed to know that?
And I asked Miss Madea to keep an eye on you.
And I don't know what the hell gonna...
And I don't like the way you spoke to me.
And I know you could have gone anywhere in the country...
And I told her, You better get the hell on out the way.
And I work at one of the finest department stores...
And I'll take the Greyhound bus.
And I'm going to have a baby ist.
And I'm helping the kids prepare songs for the Christmas Jubilee.
And I'm sure I can pull in...
And if I laugh too hard, I squirt pee.
And if you can stand him, you're welcome to him, right?
And Joe said, Really?
And Maysie's sitting in the editing room right now cussing...
And now I am getting very upset!
And now I have to leave.
And now the children of McCoy School, featuring Bailey McCoy.
And over there across the hall.
And plant it in the backyard. Get her a ribbon.
And she said you were drivin' to Alabama to see Lacey!
And that baby came next to that mangy dog.
And that dog said, What's wrong with you?
And that way all the passersby can enjoy it.
And that you defend him in front of those other kids, so thank you.
And the Bible say in second Deuteronomo...
And the farm needs a lot of work.
And the holiness is come upon me...
And the songs for the Jubilee should be about everything but Christ.
And then I would have to search about...
And then when you're done doin' her, you keep doin' her again...
And then when you're done doin' her, you keep doin' her again...
And there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.
And they went on 'cause they was expecting the holy child.
And this has all been under the direction of their current teacher...
And this is Christmas, Tanner.
And this is Madea, her great aunt on my daddy's side.
And this is my daddy, Buddy.
And this is the first time I've done something that I want.
And we have a budget crisis. So it's just too busy right now, Mom.
And went up the bayou for the Swamp Manor to get hitched.
And what's that supposed to mean?
And when you kiss your little baby
And you are a gem in God's ring.
And you better find something else to plant.
And you call me out of the blue because you need my help.
And you can't be gentle. You got to pull them nipples.
And you don't drive.
And you don't have no man up there to protect you.
And you watch your front talk, Tanner.
And your mama has been bitter with white people ever since.
And your parents are on their way.
And your singing.
And your uncle DeWayne done got me some white lightning.
And... be good for your new teacher.
Angro... Angrola Saxons... Saxophonists.
Ankle biting...
Any unison when they sang unison.
Anything you want, my son. Anything.
Anytime you see somebody with a yellow ribbon on the tree, Eileen...
Anyway, could you get my bags, farmhand, please?
Anyway, she took a little job there in some little, small school, you know.
Anyway, there was Mary...
Apparently you don't know her as well as you think.
Are you okay?
Ask the man to bring the groceries in.
At least a hundred grand for your school and its event.
At least she didn't have another heart attack.
At my age, I can't get no rain nowhere.
At the science of it, not so much the farming.
Babe, I wish you wouldn't have done that.
Baby, you know you got asthma.
Bailey is always telling me how good you are to him...
Bailey, do you know?
Bailey, you are so special.
Bailey? Okay. Well, go on.
Because of the storms this summer, so we have to make them up,
Because that could lead to cancer.
Beelzebub!
Been out on the road a lot. Long haul truck driver.
Believe me, he can't help it.
Between my mother and my job and... It's just all a bit much.
Between that and the drought...
Blessed.
Blood red. We're all the same inside.
Bougie ass store nowhere.
Boy, did you see what I just went through in town?
Boy, I tell you what, Son, she's way prettier...
Boy, it'll put some hair on your chest, I'll guarantee ya.
Boy, this is something else, isn't it? It's freezing.
Boy, you got to get a low car here.
Buddy and I, when we were young, he would...
Buddy, stop. Don't start so early.
Budget cuts, budget cuts.
But anyway, you know she got tons of offers down here in Atlanta.
But before I get my damn purse, I'm gonna get money out this register.
But Conner, he's got him a new strain of corn that takes less water.
But don't you worry.
But I just kind of feel a little guilty about the way he turned out.
But I'll be back for the event.
But it's all right. Y'all just dating.
But now the lingerie don't work, honey.
But she didn't want to, so what can you do?
But she had cancer. My uncle Bayrod.
But they kept going to all these hotels, and wouldn't none of 'em let them in.
But they've also agreed to release...
But this bring back memories, child.
But this is downright wrong...
But this'un, you done good on this'un.
But we'll get a defibrillator. She'll be all right.
But we'll make do.
Bye, Miss Mandela.
Call me Kim or Mama. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Came flowing out like the River Jordan and that was it. It was all over.
Can you give me some time to tell her?
Can you stop talking about my mother now?
Can't do that until we have a contract.
Caught?
Child, me and children don't get along.
Child, that Powerball is going up.
Child, these nipples so tough, you need a mammogram.
Child, this is just what it's... Yep, that bring back memories.
Christmas is about giving back, and with all the world watching...
Christmas is five days away.
Christmas is the time of year...
Come in the house and get to know us. We're good folks.
Come in the house. You're out here freezing.
Come in. It is cold.
Come on back here. Ain't nobody going nowhere.
Come on in the house! You know what? That's fine.
Come on inside. You'll freeze to death. Ain't no cab coming.
Come on, fellas. Geez.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on. Sit down. Take a load off.
Come on. That guy had it comin', and everybody knows it.
Come on. Walk with me. You're late again.
Come, my dear. I knew that.
Come. Let me help you.
Conner just stands there and doesn't say anything back to this woman.
Conner, I'm sorry.
Conner, it's gonna break her heart.
Conner, where are you going?
Conner!
Conner?
Conner.
Cora asked me for some money for some dolls named Starz.
Dad, stop it. Come on.
Daddy, not the bear hug!
Daddy.
Dating?
Dead. Lord have mercy, that's going to kill her.
Did I tell you I take blood pressure medicine that makes me have to pee?
Did these people come when you bought this land?
Did you hear the one about the stray bullet that killed the redneck...
Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude?
Did you know
Didn't you know that my mother had a heart attack last year?
Disease carrying...