A Madea Christmas (2013) Edit

A call came in just as I was leaving a meeting..

A little dusty, dusty.

A mangy dog walked up beside her.

A men's watch. You know, I like it with a leather band.

A private jet.

A try's a try, right?

A yellow ribbon means something.

A yellow ribbon, that means a memoriam.

About not being able to say Jesus or celebrate his birth.

Actually, I do. I'm on my way. I'll talk to you later.

Actually, in a town like yours. So your timing may be perfect.

Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.

Actually, we kind of have a problem.

Actually, you sure in the hell do. And the Jolly Green Giant too. Ho ho ho.

African American, Buddy.

After you.

Ain't got no eraser either. No cause...

Ain't no cab comin'. You gonna be sitting out here freezin'.

Ain't no chalk. Y'all ain't got no chalk?

Ain't nobody gonna mail me no check. I didn't mail my work up in here.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Ain't that right?

All black folk don't necessarily know each other.

All I'm saying is this.

All I'm saying is this...

All I'm saying, Son, if she don't eat meat...

All my stuff is illegal. I don't like driving through Georgia.

All right now. We gotta get outta here. Come on.

All right then. Let's do this.

All right, honey. If you find a ride, I'll go up there with you.

All right, I'm going to write my name on the board...

All right, people!

All right! That's enough!

All right? Now, I grew poinsetters for this.

All right.

All right. Get up. Get up.

All right. I'll be outside if y'all need me.

All right. I'll see you tomorrow.

All right. Keep going.

All right. Well, I will work on it.

All right. Well, what we gonna do is...

All righty. You go right ahead.

Always taught him to look at a woman's heart.

Amen.

And a little more open minds and open hearts.

And all the kids are really sad.

And as principal, I have to draw the line.

And as she sat there, she had that baby...

And as she sat there, she went into laborer.

And as she started laboring...

And as she was there...

And ask them for some of those really nice big, big girl drawers...

And capture the rapture, if you know what I mean.

And Conner was not in that dream.

And everybody gonna wonder what happened to you.

And everybody's mad at me because of the sponsor...

And he loves me, and he treats me oh so well.

And he still lives here, that Tanner.

And he was in love with her. She said, Joe.

And he would blindfold me.

And hide they Santa Claus, 'cause it's crazy around here.

And how was I supposed to know that?

And I asked Miss Madea to keep an eye on you.

And I don't know what the hell gonna...

And I don't like the way you spoke to me.

And I know you could have gone anywhere in the country...

And I told her, You better get the hell on out the way.

And I work at one of the finest department stores...

And I'll take the Greyhound bus.

And I'm going to have a baby ist.

And I'm helping the kids prepare songs for the Christmas Jubilee.

And I'm sure I can pull in...

And if I laugh too hard, I squirt pee.

And if you can stand him, you're welcome to him, right?

And Joe said, Really?

And Maysie's sitting in the editing room right now cussing...

And now I am getting very upset!

And now I have to leave.

And now the children of McCoy School, featuring Bailey McCoy.

And over there across the hall.

And plant it in the backyard. Get her a ribbon.

And she said you were drivin' to Alabama to see Lacey!

And that baby came next to that mangy dog.

And that dog said, What's wrong with you?

And that way all the passersby can enjoy it.

And that you defend him in front of those other kids, so thank you.

And the Bible say in second Deuteronomo...

And the farm needs a lot of work.

And the holiness is come upon me...

And the songs for the Jubilee should be about everything but Christ.

And then I would have to search about...

And then when you're done doin' her, you keep doin' her again...

And then when you're done doin' her, you keep doin' her again...

And there ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

And they went on 'cause they was expecting the holy child.

And this has all been under the direction of their current teacher...

And this is Christmas, Tanner.

And this is Madea, her great aunt on my daddy's side.

And this is my daddy, Buddy.

And this is the first time I've done something that I want.

And we have a budget crisis. So it's just too busy right now, Mom.

And went up the bayou for the Swamp Manor to get hitched.

And what's that supposed to mean?

And when you kiss your little baby

And you are a gem in God's ring.

And you better find something else to plant.

And you call me out of the blue because you need my help.

And you can't be gentle. You got to pull them nipples.

And you don't drive.

And you don't have no man up there to protect you.

And you watch your front talk, Tanner.

And your mama has been bitter with white people ever since.

And your parents are on their way.

And your singing.

And your uncle DeWayne done got me some white lightning.

And... be good for your new teacher.

Angro... Angrola Saxons... Saxophonists.

Ankle biting...

Any unison when they sang unison.

Anything you want, my son. Anything.

Anytime you see somebody with a yellow ribbon on the tree, Eileen...

Anyway, could you get my bags, farmhand, please?

Anyway, she took a little job there in some little, small school, you know.

Anyway, there was Mary...

Apparently you don't know her as well as you think.

Are you okay?

Ask the man to bring the groceries in.

At least a hundred grand for your school and its event.

At least she didn't have another heart attack.

At my age, I can't get no rain nowhere.

At the science of it, not so much the farming.

Babe, I wish you wouldn't have done that.

Baby, you know you got asthma.

Bailey is always telling me how good you are to him...

Bailey, do you know?

Bailey, you are so special.

Bailey? Okay. Well, go on.

Because of the storms this summer, so we have to make them up,

Because that could lead to cancer.

Beelzebub!

Been out on the road a lot. Long haul truck driver.

Believe me, he can't help it.

Between my mother and my job and... It's just all a bit much.

Between that and the drought...

Blessed.

Blood red. We're all the same inside.

Bougie ass store nowhere.

Boy, did you see what I just went through in town?

Boy, I tell you what, Son, she's way prettier...

Boy, it'll put some hair on your chest, I'll guarantee ya.

Boy, this is something else, isn't it? It's freezing.

Boy, you got to get a low car here.

Buddy and I, when we were young, he would...

Buddy, stop. Don't start so early.

Budget cuts, budget cuts.

But anyway, you know she got tons of offers down here in Atlanta.

But before I get my damn purse, I'm gonna get money out this register.

But Conner, he's got him a new strain of corn that takes less water.

But don't you worry.

But I just kind of feel a little guilty about the way he turned out.

But I'll be back for the event.

But it's all right. Y'all just dating.

But now the lingerie don't work, honey.

But she didn't want to, so what can you do?

But she had cancer. My uncle Bayrod.

But they kept going to all these hotels, and wouldn't none of 'em let them in.

But they've also agreed to release...

But this bring back memories, child.

But this is downright wrong...

But this'un, you done good on this'un.

But we'll get a defibrillator. She'll be all right.

But we'll make do.

Bye, Miss Mandela.

Call me Kim or Mama. Just don't call me late for dinner.

Came flowing out like the River Jordan and that was it. It was all over.

Can you give me some time to tell her?

Can you stop talking about my mother now?

Can't do that until we have a contract.

Caught?

Child, me and children don't get along.

Child, that Powerball is going up.

Child, these nipples so tough, you need a mammogram.

Child, this is just what it's... Yep, that bring back memories.

Christmas is about giving back, and with all the world watching...

Christmas is five days away.

Christmas is the time of year...

Come in the house and get to know us. We're good folks.

Come in the house. You're out here freezing.

Come in. It is cold.

Come on back here. Ain't nobody going nowhere.

Come on in the house! You know what? That's fine.

Come on inside. You'll freeze to death. Ain't no cab coming.

Come on, fellas. Geez.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Sit down. Take a load off.

Come on. That guy had it comin', and everybody knows it.

Come on. Walk with me. You're late again.

Come, my dear. I knew that.

Come. Let me help you.

Conner just stands there and doesn't say anything back to this woman.

Conner, I'm sorry.

Conner, it's gonna break her heart.

Conner, where are you going?

Conner!

Conner?

Conner.

Cora asked me for some money for some dolls named Starz.

Dad, stop it. Come on.

Daddy, not the bear hug!

Daddy.

Dating?

Dead. Lord have mercy, that's going to kill her.

Did I tell you I take blood pressure medicine that makes me have to pee?

Did these people come when you bought this land?

Did you hear the one about the stray bullet that killed the redneck...

Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude?

Did you know

Didn't you know that my mother had a heart attack last year?

Disease carrying...

Do it.

Do not look at me like that. You don't understand.

Do you know Oprah?

Do you think we should leave? I think we should maybe leave.

Do you understand? It is Christmas.

Do you understand? Now, what can I help you with?

Don't act like you... Don't act like this. Now, calm the hell down.

Don't answer that.

Don't be flirting with me in front of your wife.

Don't be pushing on me.

Don't blame that on me.

Don't get behind her.

Don't get your hopes up listening to Eileen.

Don't light a match. Don't get her next to an open flame.

Don't listen to her. You two are gonna be together again.

Don't look at me like that.

Don't sit by me. You are so dirty.

Don't worry about these people in here trying to make you feel bad.

Don't you ever pick on somebody just 'cause you can. Do you understand?

Don't you ever, ever say a word to my wife again. You understand me?

Don't you ever...

Don't you go nowhere.

Don't you know what that means?

Drive! Hell, they're KKK!

Eating her food, and they're acting like they own the place.

Eileen, here. This a... Child, please.

Eileen, I...

Eileen, stop meddling with that girl.

Eileen, tell him we've been shopping at Tifton's for over 15 years.

Eileen, we've had a lot of complaints about your friend.

Eileen, what you doin'?

Eileen, you come in on three. You don't say, One, two, and come in.

Eileen, you gonna get your pressure up.

Eileen, you need to stop right now, honey.

Eileen, you oughta be ashamed... Child, that's some straight up bull...

Eileen!

Every generation sees a little less division...

Every light on the dashboard say...

Everybody in the USA knows what a memoriam is...

Everybody just got put out. They went to the Motel 6.

Everybody just got put out. They went to the Motel 6.

Everything don't lead to cancer, Eileen. Lord, help her.

Ex boyfriend.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Good morning, y'all.

Feeling a little light headed.

Five milligrams of Don't choke that ho.

Flatline. Just...

Folks around here don't take too kindly to politicians not keeping their word.

For me, of course.

For sponsoring this Christmas celebration.

For telling the story about the rabbis and the black dude?

Forgive my husband. He is just a horse's ass and a half.

Freeze all the hell you want. You done lost your damn mind!

From the time he was born until the time he died on Earth.

Get off my mother in law, you son of a bitch!

Get out my way!

Get out of here and let us handle it.

Get out of here.

Get out of my way. I'm trying to go to the break room.

Get out on that plow.

Get out the way! What the hell goin' on?

Get the directions here. I got me to pee.

Gets it from his old man. Runs in the genes.

Girl, I don't know why I let you talk me into comin' and doin' this job.

Girl, please.

Girl, what the coroner doing here? Who done died?

Give this child the gift of being able to do whatever she want to do.

Glee? Mama, is this true?

Go ahead and laugh.

Go ahead and laugh. This is awful.

Go ahead.

Go on over there. Pull over there, ask these people directions.

Go on.

Go on. Go on.

Go play them numbers, and bring me a bunch of scratch offs. Yeah.

Go take a cold shower and get off of me.

Go take a cold shower and get off of me.

Go throw some milk on that thing.

Go! Drive! Drive, Olive Oil, drive!

Gone, like that, if you ever have a problem with...

Gonna have possum stew...

Good job, boys.

Good morning, Miss Mandela.

Good night. She looked like old Tyler Perry.

Good show.

Good to see you. Good to see you. All right, all right.

Good, because I've been attacked enough today.

Good, it's about damn time. I get out of... Give me my check.

Good. She was such a tramp.

Got all these animals. This is a nice room. I'll stay in here.

Got her master's and up and moved to Alabama of all places.

Got it.

Got there, doctor say it's gas.

Got to the doctor, she was clutching her heart and the pearls.

Gotta get these poinsetters sold.

Guess I'll have to talk to 'em now 'cause they're here.

Has walked where angels trod

Have put together a little presentation for us all...

Have you ever thought maybe she just don't want to see you, Eileen?

Have you heard?

Have you two eaten?

Having to choose between going on with Jubilee or getting sued...

He ain't a dwarf. I mean, shoot, he'd take a dwarf.

He also told me you want him to sing at the Christmas Jubilee?

He always stayed with his mom and his grandparents here.

He called me back.

He came through the Virgin... piña colada.

He can learn something in school.

He can't get any better.

He don't know. He's always dirty.

He has to help his daddy at night, so he doesn't get much time to study.

He is right, and you know it.

He just, well...

He left your mama for a white woman when you was two...

He really is a good man.

He really should go to a gifted school with a fine arts department.

He shut his eyeballs. That's ugly.

He still lives here, that Tanner.

He thinks he can get us $100,000 in sponsorship money.

He told me what you did for him. So... thank you.

He was born to the Virgin Mary...

He was so nasty. And then he got me fired.

He was wearing the sheet when I went in the room.

He what sittin' there willy whilin'. Ask him.

He'll put you down. Where are my manners?

He's coming down tomorrow with the contract.

He's got a lot of work to do here, that's if he makes it at all.

He's in the Ku Klux Klan.

He's just been so troubled...

He's just pretending, just saying nothin' to this woman.

He's still got it. I knew you got it in you.

Heard about the sponsorship?

Heavens no. Why would she...

Hell, I hope so.

Hell, I'm stuck in the mud.

Hell, this ain't mud!

Hello, Bucktussle.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hey, I need y'all to go get me some scratch offs.

Hello. Hello. Now, y'all got to go back to the Stepford children.

Help!

Help. Help.

Her boyfriend?

Here you are, Miss Murphy.

Here, let me take this, Daddy.

Hey there.

Hey there. I was getting ready to go...

Hey, hey! Look at you!

Hey, I'm glad y'all did elope.

Hey, pull up, It was high school. Am I forgiven?

Hey, Son, see this? This ain't fat. This is all foreskin.

Hey, we were just talking about you.

Hey.

Hi, Conner.

Hi. I'm Lacey Williams, Bailey's teacher.

High school. Non factor, trust me.

Hilton. Shut the door.

Hilton. Shut the door.

Hold on a second, Bailey.

Hold on, 'cause somebody's screaming at me.

Hold on, Eileen. Y'all need to let all this go.

Hold on. Hold on. I heard somebody say, Go. Oh, Lord.

Honey, I don't buy Cora nothing for Christmas.

Honey, I know. It stinks. I get it.

Honey, I told you...

Honey, we taught all of our children...

Hot chocolate does wonders. It's delicious.

Hot dog, it's cold out here. It's all right. It's all right then.

How are ya? How ya doing?

How can I go to the bathroom at night with all that in front the door?

How do we talk about Christmas without talking about Jesus?

How soon can you get here?

How you doin'? We are lost. He trying to find direction.

Hurry!

Hush up, Dragon Lady. Hush the hell up.

I ain't bought her nothing since she was seven years old.

I ain't goin' nowhere. Hell, I just drove up here.

I ain't goin' to no church. The devil is a lie.

I ain't had nothing like this on since I was on that pole.

I always knew he was smart. I didn't know he was that smart.

I am a Christian, and this is some bull...

I am Conner's mama. Please call me Mrs. Williams.

I am Eileen, her mother.

I am not in the mood for your foolishness.

I am not insulting. I am telling you the truth.

I am so proud of the kids.

I am so sorry.

I am sorry, Conner.

I am thou ist with the child ist.

I am...

I am... I'm Conner's mom.

I bet this house run them in the double figures.

I brought some decorations from Atlanta...

I brought you some spices from your Aunt Tutu's garden.

I can ask your Aunt Madea to come with me.

I can deal with a lot of things. They know it.

I can get somebody to drive up there with me.

I can give you a few pointers if you want to.

I can hear you. You right here.

I can only imagine if you could just stay awake in class.

I can't believe you married her and dumped me. That's what you get.

I can't just turn them around. You have to figure this one out.

I can't move.

I can't pretend to be somebody. I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba.

I can't wait until you taste the dinner...

I could French braid his.

I could use your help with it.

I couldn't afford it. She just wanted them Starz.

I did it for me. Not for you.

I did it. It's Christmas, damn it!

I did you a favor here, and this will ruin me.

I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey.

I didn't have my glasses on! I couldn't see!

I didn't have my glasses on.

I didn't know if I should look for you or watch the food.

I didn't know it was from Sheldon Construction Company.

I didn't let her near our food.

I didn't say a word.

I didn't say anything.

I do too. She likes to hang.

I don't care. That don't matter at all that y'all Anglo Saxophonists.

I don't eat food from the KKK.

I don't give a damn who calling who. Somebody gonna give me my money.

I don't hear from you in six years...

I don't jump to conclusions.

I don't know about you wearing the lingeries.

I don't know much about music.

I don't know what apparels is. A pears.

I don't know, Buddy. I don't think I can deal with this.

I don't know. She only said two words to me.

I don't know. We're divorced.

I don't like it. It's wrong.

I don't like this. Go knock on the door.

I don't like you all talking about me.

I don't like you being up here with him by yourself.

I don't need none of them. Not one of them.

I don't need to be here in this stuck up ass...

I don't need to be up in there with y'all! Go to hell!

I don't think there's gonna be a Christmas Jubilee this year.

I don't wanna die.

I don't wanna talk about it. We don't make those kind of jokes, okay?

I don't want you to go.

I feel I'm getting ready to maybe catch a case.

I get a little drizzle, but them quarters hurt.

I go to the bathroom, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 12 times a night...

I got a candy apple. Where y'all went?

I got a friend of mine to get us a sponsorship for it.

I got my purse here. This is $150.

I got pregnant. Meat Loaf was playing Dashboard Light.

I got you.

I got you.

I gotta take you where you working.

I gotta tell you, I got rid of mine.

I graded another one of Bailey's homework assignments...

I grew up in the country. Ain't nobody in here.

I had a full figure and curves and all that stuff.

I had such a crazy, crazy ass dream last night.

I had that once too.

I have a meeting down the hall...

I have prepared for you for Christmas.

I have to go to a meeting down the hall with Ms. Porter...

I have to protect my interests, that's all.

I haven't seen where she works, where she live.

I hitched a ride with Oliver. Surprise!

I hope it's not the lazy one, 'cause that one always look closed.

I just got done telling Madea...

I just stopped by to talk to you.

I just wanna tell you all how sorry I am.

I just wanted to give my daughter a proper wedding.

I just woke up late. I'll be here on time. I promise.

I knew it.

I knew she knew that. Let me ask you this.

I knocked the hell out of her. You know what happened?

I know damn well you hear me calling you. Eileen!

I know he can.

I know it. I got that feeling.

I know my mother.

I know that look in your eye. Don't go jumpin' to no conclusion.

I know the answer.

I know this school is not the best, but it is all we got.

I know what I saw.

I know what's the best for Bailey, and that's keeping this place running.

I know you don't like people 'cause of the way they look.

I know you knew the answer.

I know, it's just I'm just getting settled in...

I know, Mama. I know he was murdered by a white man, but...

I know.

I know. All right?

I know. I'm sorry.

I know. It's gonna roll at the end of the movie. All right.

I know. Mom, are you crying?

I know. What are we gonna do?

I like her.

I like tofu farters. God bless you.

I look like the whole damn red light district.

I love well behaved children. That's wonderful.

I love you, and I'm sorry...

I love you. I'm proud of us. I don't care who knows.

I love your daughter, Miss Murphy.

I made a mistake...

I made you some pipin' hot chocolate.

I mean it, Conner.

I mean, come on now. Come on, honey. I'm trying to help y'all.

I mean, he growed with... He growed with Conner.

I mean, he used to get beat up a lot in school, bullied.

I mean, I have to break it to her gently. She's been very sick.

I mean, that's really all I want for him.

I mean, you have a beautiful Christmas tree...

I need a bathroom. Is there a bathroom here somewhere?

I need a dictionary to keep up with you sometime, honey.

I need some help!

I need to introduce myself, but where are my manners?

I never. I would never shoot little Bambi sipping water in a pond.

I plant corn.

I raised you right.

I ran down here. I ran for my life!

I rushed home. How's my mother?

I said you was in here with the beast of the southern wild.

I saw the Klan today. That ain't the Klan.

I see it on your face. Yeah!

I see the way you look at her, the way she look at you.

I should have told my mom from the beginning.

I slopped them, and I've been trying to get milk for Eileen.

I studied agriculture at New York State.

I studied agriculture at New York State.

I tell you what, it broke my heart to be gone so much...

I think I left my bag in...

I think I'll go with the children. Praise God.

I think it would look really pretty right here by the window...

I think the tree...

I think we should be happy and proud...

I thought it was unison, and a cappollo.

I thought maybe you'd come down to Louisiana...

I told them to hide the kids, hide they wife...

I told you not to buy this farm.

I tried. I asked her if I could help her cook.

I tried. That woman is stubborn.

I understand.

I understand. I like to cook alone myself sometimes too.

I want some grandbabies. What you waiting on?

I want that tree. I want my daddy's tree. What about our son?

I want to thank you all for coming out to the Christmas Jubilee.

I want you to sing the lead solo at the Christmas Jubilee.

I wanted this to be a big surprise!

I was down at the feed store.

I was exchanging my goodies back in the day.

I was just teaching these children a lesson on Jesus...

I was sitting up there, and I kept hitting my head on that steering wheel.

I was so upset when I heard you two eloped.

I wasn't offended. Hell, I got a pistol.

I will drive over tomorrow.

I will not step foot back in that house!

I will not step into that house of lies.

I will show you how to leave damn quietly.

I would beat the hell out of him.

I would like to see us have another chance.

I would suggest you walk across the street to Target...

I'd also like to thank Sheldon Construction Company...

I'd like to see that, 'cause you don't drive.

I'll behave. Like a bull in a rodeo.

I'll come down with a contract, you get your people to sign...

I'll do one it one more time. Ready?

I'll go to hell and back to get away from her.

I'll have him pay my rent, car note and everything else.

I'll never let anything happen to her. I promise.

I'll see you all tomorrow. Do your homework.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll see you.

I'll show him how to do it when he come out of that laboratory thing.

I'll show him how to do it when he come out of that laboratory thing.

I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you Bye,

I'll tell you who he is.

I'm a truck driver.

I'm Conner.

I'm fabulous. I'm gone with the wind fabulous.

I'm fine right here.

I'm from the old school.

I'm getting ready to choke her. Hold on.

I'm glad I went to church and to Sunday school. Okay.

I'm glad you done what you did, Son. I'm proud of you.

I'm going in. You wanna sit out here and freeze, sit your ass out here...

I'm gonna get your mama.

I'm gonna go down there.

I'm gonna go in here and use the bathroom.

I'm gonna have to wipe with an ice sc****r tonight.

I'm gonna open the door. Y'all need fresh air up in here.

I'm gonna ride with him.

I'm gonna sleep with one eye open tonight.

I'm gonna start talking about all your wrinkly, saggy parts.

I'm gonna take something else. I'm gonna take this dress.

I'm gonna take this room. Let me go straighten up a little.

I'm gonna talk to the mayor tomorrow. Promise.

I'm gonna tell y'all a story.

I'm gonna tell y'all another story.

I'm here.

I'm in here. Do yourself a favor. Do the right thing.

I'm joshing you.

I'm just kiddin'. I still like to go to the bowling alley every now and then.

I'm just kiddin'. She got a nice rack.

I'm not gonna be able to come home this year.

I'm not gonna come in here and listen to this.

I'm not putting my tush over no bush. I don't know what's wrong with you.

I'm not talkin' about your mother. I'm just statin' the obvious.

I'm not trying to attack you or her.

I'm out on the road a lot, you know, and...

I'm so happy you all came back here to take care of it.

I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Conner needs my help, Mama. I gotta go.

I'm sorry. He's crazy.

I'm sorry. I can't do that.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring...

I'm sorry. I do...

I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt.

I'm sorry. Say what you're saying to the children.

I'm sorry. That's awful.

I'm sorry. Watch your class?

I'm sure he's still very upset.

I'm sure.

I'm talking about you and Lacey.

I'm telling you. Let me explain something to you.

I'm trying to reach my daughter, Lacey.

I'm trying to save you some embarrassment.

I'm very upset.

I'm with you, Lacey. I don't like it.

I've already talked to him about this, but have at it.

I've been worried about you.

I've done everything she wanted. Always.

I've never let my mother down my entire life. Okay?

I've seen a mosquito so daggone big...

I've seen her shoot a deer once though.

If I put this thing on, you won't be able to get rid of it.

If I took the register, I'd be bonded out.

If she like him, she like him. That's all that is. Just hush.

If she want to come in the house, she know how to get in. Leave her alone.

If she wanted to talk to you, she would have called you all the time.

If somebody pull on your testicles, will you give 'em milk?

If this Christmas Jubilee don't happen...

If this Christmas Jubilee don't happen...

If we cut back more, we'll not be able to finish the school year.

If you don't stop that nasty talk.

If you put some Viagra in that tree's water, it'll stay up all year.

If you would have talked to Lacey, you would've found out...

If you're gonna do it, then you need to do it and keep doin' her...

Ike wasn't gonna put his hands on me. That's all I'm saying.

In memory of my granddaddy.

In most countries, in most places, to sane thinking people...

In order to do what you need to be doin'.

Is even more impressive.

Is pretty crazy.

Is that where you two met?

Is there something to... Hold on. I got it.

It ain't fair. She's nice to me.

It ain't them people, it's you! Hell, you!

It can be fun. It can be.

It had to be done.

It helps too many people around here make enough money just to stay open.

It is beautiful. This place is stupendous.

It is changing, and that is a good thing.

It was called the Ghost and the Damsel.

It was just awful. It was an awful time.

It was my pleasure. I'm glad I could help.

It was nice of you to call him.

It will help us with the shortfall.

It'll be a little cramped...

It's a beautiful day at Tifton's.

It's all right. She got a problem, but it's all right.

It's all these strange people in this house, that's what it is.

It's Christmas now. You need to go down there and buy her a tree.

It's Christmas, and I'm takin' what the hell I want up in here!

It's gonna be fantastic.

It's good. It is good.

It's good. Nice flaky crust.

It's got 4,785,000 miles on it, and I just changed the oil in it.

It's hilarious!

It's just not right.

It's just regular sized kids he got trouble with.

It's Lacey. She says she doesn't think she can handle it.

It's nice, Mama, huh?

It's not just the farm.

It's only a day and a half of work, and you gonna be making $150.

It's such a shame she does not know what kind of person you are.

It's yellow. It's bright yellow!

J. Blige, and as Mary was on tour...

Jesus was hanging between two thieves.

Jingle all the way

Joy to the world and the Lord is come, and happy Easter.

Joy to you and yours. Yes, may I help you?

Just give him a little nudge to the flapjacks there.

Just keep your eyes ahead.

Just sitting down on your ass.

Just think of this as a little extra money for you and Cora.

Just two, three of 'em. Don't spend a lot of money.

Keep going. Help each other out.

Keeping up a lie...

Kid's still beating him up?

Kim, take another room...

Kim.

Kind of lets people walk all over him.

Know?

Lacey hadn't told her mama that we're married.

Lacey said she's gonna tell her on Christmas.

Lacey told me you needed the money right away.

Lacey, come show us this farm.

Lacey, I am so disappointed in you.

Lacey, I don't have to tell you that...

Lacey, thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it.

Lacey, who is this?

Lacey, you do not have a Christmas tree?

Lacey. Your father.

Lacey's ma... She's here?

Lacey's mama is cookin'.

Lacey's not coming for Christmas.

Lady, you gonna need a damn doctor if you holler at me again.

Last time I was in Alabama, I was chained to Andy Young and Jesse Jackson.

Last time you went to the doctor, you had a rash.

Leave her alone. If she want to come home, she will come home.

Leave her out there. She is grown, sitting there.

Leave that boy alone. Where else he gonna sit? Sit down, son.

Leave this child alone. She living her life.

Let him figure it out.

Let me call Oliver. How about that?

Let me get some decorations.

Let me get the eye lines clean...

Let me make this clear to y'all.

Let me put these down, and I'll be ready to go to school.