South Park - Season 22 Edit

A basic starter horse and the $20 gambler's hat

A bear?

A bike parade or Josh?

A bike parade.

A box that is the last thing standing in the way

A deal was made. We do not know by whom.

A demon from Hell

A full transfer to the beautiful Maldive Islands!

A little bit, you On my save game?!

A little bit!

A lot better, thank you.

A lot of candy trick or treating this year?

A lot of ground in very little time.

A lot of students are experiencing anxiety,

A lot of things.

A Marsh and Broflovski.

A measly paycheck

A milestone for African Americans.

A person little girls could look up to.

A Poober They have that?

A priest in South Park has gone rogue

A proposed program on race relation education,

A school shooting at an ice cream shop.

A side mission or two.

A small business needs products for exposure,

A transfer?

Aaaaaagh! [ Squish ]

Aaaaaah.

Aaaah? Aaaaah?

Aaaah.

Aaaah.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aaaaaagh!

Abbul abash my ah.

About a lot of the things you said would happen

About in vitro fertilization, and after that,

About some college opportunities.

About some things going on at school.

About the city council,

About what happened at school today?

Ace. You lose.

Active shooter! Active shooter!

Actually just a picture of a dog's butthole,

Actually stop producing eggs, it's a significant change.

Add together the 3 and the 3!

Afraid you wouldn't win?

After I came back, that's when it all caught up with me.

After just 8 to 10 hours in Buddha Box,

Agh.

Ah, Billy, it's not that simple.

Ah, doin' better. huh, Josie?

Ah, no. Dead ones go in the other truck.

Ah! You are correct.

Ahghgh!

Ahghghggh!

Ahghghgghgh!

Ahghghgh!

Ahghghghghggh!

Ahghghghghgh!

Aisle 7.

Al Gore isn't dead.

Al Gore was right all along.

Al Gore was right.

Al Gore: Fear not. Do not give up on yourself.

Al Gore?

Al Gore.

Al Gore...? Al Gore...?

Alec, should we start to worry?

Alexa, go ahead. Send them in.

Alexa, kill Kenny.

Alexa: Okay. I'll kill Kenny for you.

Alienated from the products of their labor...

All because Shelley bribed the playground monitor

All because your bitch wife went and spent

All I can say is,

All I know is that after church, I just feel better.

All I need to do now is wait for the poop to stink.

All I understand is that you suck!

All I understand is, it's only eight weeks until Christmas.

All I want is a little time with my phone

All I want to do is help.

All I was doing was trying to be your mentor.

All I've done is create the new class

All it takes to find it is getting a little dirty yourself.

All of our parents were gathered together

All of them demons sent by the Devil himself.

All of you.

All our cars.

All over the State of Colorado

All over the world are

All right, all right, just calm down, lady!

All right, can I take your order?

All right, children,

All right, clean and scrub everything.

All right, everyone, get down!

All right, everyone, listen up.

All right, everyone!

All right, everyone.

All right, everyone. Quiet, please.

All right, how much do you owe the dealer?

All right, Kenny!

All right, Kenny's here.

All right, ladies, that's it. Second shift starts now.

All right, listen.

All right, lock these little fuckers up!

All right, looks like we're clear.

All right, Mommy!

All right, my child.

All right, over here. Come on!

All right, PC Babies, let's hear what you got.

All right, Riley, give that back to your brother.

All right, send him in.

All right, sign here and here

All right, that's it!

All right, there you go, friend.

All right, we have some dead cows down at Milner's Ranch.

All right, what happened? What grade was the shooter in?

All right, which one of you little shitheads did this?

All right, you bunch of vape smoking pussies.

All right!

All right!

All right! All right! What do you PC Babies want?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right. That's enough.

All right. Listen to me carefully.

All right. Please, move along folks.

All right. What word did you use, Riley?

All right. When the priest gets here,

All right. When the priest gets here,

All right. Where'd you guys get these?

All right. Your time starts now.

All the horses I had stole for what?!

All the kids are really pissed off!

All the nice things humans have done for you lately?

All the stagecoaches I had robbed,

All the way back to camp.

All this hard work at school?

All Token is doing by letting you cheat off him

All you're doin' is blowin' smoke

All your hard earned money on upgrades you didn't want!

All: [ Chanting ] Scabs! Scabs!

All: Al Gore was right all along.

All: And with your spirit.

All: Aw!

ALL: Hooray!

All: No...No...

All: Ohhhh!

All: Ohhhhh.

All: We call upon the powers of darkness.

All: Yeah!

Along with everything in it.

Along with human excrement.

Also joining us is the former Vice President, Al Gore.

Also, dozens of Amazon customers have shown up

Always.

Am I making sense?

Amazon boxes?!

Amazon Fulfillment Center.

Amazon workers, we are on strike!

Amazon, Amazon light, and Amazon IPA.

Ambien messes with my head. You ever take that crap?

Amen.

An epidemic at our school?!

And "Black Panther" never comes up.

And a bunch of other old people made the deal with ManBearPig.

And a Catholic priest ****d him.

And all we keep doing is burying our heads.

And another one!

And as for me,

And be willing to say, maybe we were wrong.

And bring about socioeconomic emancipation.

And bring it to the packing area.

And can play some "Red Dead Redemption,"

And destroyed our home.

And destruction around us is due to a ManBearPig.

And do penance in dust and ashes."

And don't wait on me to book 'em.

And don't worry there'll be plenty of priests

And dread they'll say something about a school shooting

And Eric Cartman just wanted to be able to voice his concerns.

And even if it means failing, I'm their only damn hope.

And even see the other weed farms!

And everything I ever did.

And everything is finally gonna be cool again.

And for what?

And fulfill it right up your ass!

And get his football.

And get off my farm before I shove it up your ass

And get your Tegridy delivered even faster.

And God damn it, it's never too late to start trying

And good will towards men.

And guess what the napkins are made from?

And have a hard time expressing myself.

And have it shipped to a different fulfillment center...

And have you seen the state of the playground equipment?

And he had our orders shipped.

And he is not gonna stop!

And hope we can all participate in ways

And hopefully..

And how do you think we get that money?

And how hard it truly was.

And how we're all doomed.

And I am cereal!

And I am finally going home.

And I called the schoolkids homos.

And I came inside her like that.

And I can't get an Uber home!

And I didn't realize it till I went home.

And I didn't realize it till I went home.

And I don't know how to sell them.

And I got me a gal who claims she's got

And I have decided to move forward.

And I just need something to take the edge off.

And I just thought maybe we could

And I never, ever would've said those things

And I still hadn't slept, so I d

And I was like "Well, you stuck your finger in my ass."

And I went to an island north of Cuba.

And I'll be their strongest vice principal,

And I'll bring it back to our house for us to hand out!

And I'm afraid you are all going to lose the bike parade.

And I'm clearly not one of them.

And I'm fairly certain that he has eaten two of my children

And I'm gonna make both of you school shooters pay

And I'm gonna shoot up the schoooooool!

And I'm not really sure why everyone is so...

And if anyone has a problem with that,

And if others try to break through the picket line?

And if people wanna keep trying to knock you down,

And if we get you workers,

And in choir boys' butts and asses.

And in conclusion, let me just say that you are the future.

And is probably out doing his thing.

And is working to better train its workers

And it has been.

And it has to stop.

And it kills me that you're so afraid

And it kills me that you're so afraid

And it would change us all forever.

And it's been known to last...

And it's like you're not listening.

And it's my job to keep you informed.

And it's our firm belief that what they need,

And it's the work of both humans and machines

And lashed out at society?

And lots of glitter and glue.

And make yourself at home here!

And ManBearPig annihilated him like a bitch.

And manipulated you into a physical encounter.

And may we always keep our tegridy.

And maybe

And most of the roads have been destroyed

And no mortal can do anything to stop him.

And nobody's watching.

And normally, I would agree with you

And not do anything to upset them.

And not have a priest around.

And not just take things out on you.

And now here's that special treat we told you about.

And now it's Halloween, and you don't have a cellphone.

And now my anxiety's back,

And now on Park County Cable Access,

And now tricks or treats is here!

And now we divide, right?

And now we know that ManBearPig is real

And now, if any one tries to open it,

And now, let us pray.

And now, live from the town courthouse,

And offer counseling to everyone who needed it.

And premium boutique ice cream.

And preparedness, Alec Vaughn.

And pretty sure you don't h have...

And put an end to this deal once and for all

And put it to rest.

And Reese's Teenie Weenie Size. M'kay?

And said there was a school shooting

And says "Are you selling vape stuff,"

And selling what we make with our hands.

And set its Bluetooth to your mobile device.

And set up this trap to kill you?

And she sticks her finger in my ass.

And should have never gone into business with you.

And so I created this the Internet.

And so what happened to him never happens to anyone else.

And somehow I'm supposed to do something but...

And something kind of weird.

And sometimes, believing is all that we need to be cereal.

And start ordering streamers, sparklers, and rockets!

And steal enough stuff to make the sixth graders happy.

And thanks for shopping at Big Vape.

And thanks for supportin' small business. Next.

And that's now everyone is in this state of Tegridy

And that's basically why you're here, Billy.

And that's Tegridy.

And that's the point! Don't you see?

And that's why we are all here,

And that's why we have to break out of here ourselves.

And that's why you wouldn't let me cheat off you!

And the Catatonic Tegridy Bud is takin' well.

And the clean up crew hasn't helped at all.

And the government thinks they can just force it on everyone!

And the machines do the rest.

And the next, there were these fuckin' scooters everywhere.

And the next, there were these fuckin' scooters everywhere.

And the noise canceling headphones

And the ones who don't play by the rules.

And the only thing that makes me happy,

And the people who want their stuff.

And the strikers are not happy!

And the time to do it is... very soon.

And the truth is, without a scooter,

And the two hikers are still missing.

And then at a certain time of the month,

And then eradicate this entire place of any evidence.

And then heading back to Colorado tomorrow via UPS.

And then I get a call about another school shooting.

And then I started tweeting.

And then the other kids would laugh.

And then there's just...Kyle.

And then there's the working class

And then they just took off.

And then they sold it to kids.

And then we can put this all behind us.

And there is ever mounting tension

And there were bear prints in the snow?

And there's no one who can help us.

And there's no proof that vaping is that bad for you.

And these guys are one of them. Kyle, no, no, no, no.

And they all walk around going, "Way aya ayay blarhghg."

And they bribe the recess monitor

And they can take it up with me!

And they see it as hypocritical.

And they stop being a piece of shit.

And they think it's not gonna come back

And they're saying you're just seeking attention

And this case is now in the hands of the DA.

And took advantage of a subordinate

And tried to convince everyone of a ManBearPig?

And try to arrest Cartman.

And try to understand their illness.

And until those assholes go back to work,

And w we seem to be having a little problem

And we could all be dead in a matter of years.

And we don't have any presents!

And we have to find him.

And we have to move our camp soon!

And we missed it.

And we suggest you all

And we were forced to make him...

And we were thinking we'd hang out with you

And we will get through this as a family.

And we will stop, I swear it.

And we will stop.

And we're not hiding anything anymore.

And we've come so close Oh, my God!

And what about the 4's? Token?

And what have you got?

And what I learned is that ManBearPig...

And what we all need, is less time on our phones.

And when I'm not bowling, I help out my gang.

And when we get there...

And with your spirit, m'kay.

And worked my way up to the new gang leader!

And wrote a hit single about cultural appropriation.

And wrote in the right ones! You don't want to do this!

And you agree to ignore ManBearPig

And you are Josh,

And you believe...

And you can use them all over town.

And you decided to do the bike parade behind our backs.

And you didn't give two shits

And you didn't see "Black Panther." Right.

And you just signed away the future?!

And you know what they do? They get over it!

And you know who told me that?

And you stole our idea!

And you thought out here on the farm, you'd be safe.

And you too can have

And you... didn't like it either.

And you're blowing mist out your butthole.

And you're out worrying about a bike parade!

And you're patronizing me.

And your things delivered to your door,

And, Josh, how does it feel

And, like, make fun of you and stuff.

And, uh, he's killing lots of people in our town.

Angry customers who wish to be fulfilled.

Another dead cop!

Another kid's been killed.

Another school shooting today

Another school shooting, Maggie.

Anxiety can make you feel unable to cope.

Anxiety is very real.

Anxiety? Is that cool?

Any sign of him?

Anybody need a drink?

Anyone have a problem with that?

Anything he says might sound wrong.

Anything? Did you get anything?

Anyways...

Are a bunch of pussy licking Islamists."

Are actually doing a group theme.

Are all at each other for control of the playground.

Are always flipping Buddha boxes off the heads

Are believed to have worked together.

Are going to be confusing and at times hard to cope with.

Are going to be using e scooters for tricks or treats.

Are in jail! Detective!

Are now experts on the subject.

Are retarded homos who can't play music"?

Are retarded homos who can't play music"?

Are we just bags of carbon and water

Are wondering where their Amazon orders are

Are you being serious?

Are you crazy? We just saw ManBearPig take down Satan

Are you fucking joking?!

Are you going in to see the vice principal?

Are you gonna be in the bike parade?

Are you in or not?

Are you kidding me?! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sharon.

Are you really gonna stand there and not say you appreciate

Are you serious?!

Are you still here?

Are you suffering from anxiety?

Are you sure we can move forward?

Are you the only one still at the mall?

Argh.

Argh.

Arghhh!

Arghhh!

Arhghghgh!

Arhghghgh!

As a partner to the PC Babies, even though I

As executive planning manager of the city council.

As for me, I'm finally heading home.

As hundreds of employees refuse to work.

As in female genitalia.

As our town continues to burn to the ground,

As soon as possible.

As soon as the school bell rings,

As the death toll rises to the hundreds.

As told through bicycles.

As we, as a society, continue

As workers demand more respect and more money

As you know, there's been a rise

Asshole!

Asshole.

At a Catholic priest swimming party,

At first, I thought it was only a few of us.

At the fulfillment center, Mr. and Mrs. Tweek.

At the...

At the...

At this school!

At this young age.

At those capitalists

At what cost, sir?!

At your math exams, children.

Aw, come on, man

Aw, come on, PC Babies! Why does that matter?

Aw, come on! All the kids are doing it.

Aw, come on. You gotta be strong!

Aw, Father wait a I should go.

Aw, great! Just tell the whole world, Margret!

Aw, guys, she didn't mean it.

Aw, man!

Aw, she slipped her disc in her neck.

Aw, she's gonna miss church? That's too bad.

Aw, shit!

Aw, shit!

Aw, shit! I missed it.

Aw, what did I do this time?

Aw! Are these PC babies?

Aw! Aw!

Aww, look at the little PC babies!

Aww, PC babies!

Aww! Look at the PC babies!

Awwww.

Babe, can you please come say hi to my mother while she's here?

Baby! Oh, you're okay!

Bad dog!

Bad kindergartners!

Bailey, no.

Based on overall chemical makeup.

Be a bad guy?

Be a bit of a roller coaster, as well

Be?

Because fourth period already started.

Because he brought me you

Because I knew! All right?!

Because I liked "Black Panther" just as much as you did.

Because I was you. Okay?

Because if people know the truth,

Because it can be offensive

Because it's I'm I'm just I'm just

Because it's gonna set my wife off.

Because last I checked, you didn't even want me around

Because my anxiety is up here right now!

Because of all of this, we believe

Because of the damage it could do to them?

Because of the scooters, we also expect

Because the changes in your wife's body

Because the customer is all that matters.

Because the shut down is hurting everyone.

Because this whole thing is out of control.

Because we were all equal again.

Because you lost the presidency,

Because you won't get off your ass and work, Dad!

Because your father was supposed to be nothing but dried up crust

Becomes known!

Before the fulfillment center opened,

Before, there was war between classes,

Being a fulfiller isn't hard.

Being around assholes who won't leave me alone!

Being poor was gonna catch up with you

Better get the Kumby.

Better hurry.

Between the striking Amazon workers

Bezos!

Bezos!

Bezos!

Bike parade! Bike parade?

Bike parade? That's so dumb.

Bike parade?!

Billy, I have Alzheimer's.

Billy! Give me your lunchbox!

Billy...

Bleach the entire top of the table.

Bleach those board game pieces.

Bless us, Lord, and our little cannabis farm.

Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts,

Boo!

Boys: [ Flatly ] Trick or treat.

Boys: ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

Boys: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Clyde ♪

Boys: We should have all listened to Al Gor Wait.

Break out of my jail?!

Breakin' our backs! Loadin' up forklifts!

Bring it all over to my house!

Bring out the Cumboni.

British Worker: Come on, Stotch!

But "Black Panther" was so original.

But all people do is try to keep me from it.

But also detect any impurities and give you a final score

But at times I wonder if there is more we should discuss.

But back then, I don't know if church was that stupid.

But Dr. Kyle here is just worried about his place in line.

But for true penance, we must be humble enough

But he deserves more, Stotch!

But hear his words.

But humans are more than consumers.

But I can barely make a good Christmas show with what I have!

But I can't tell if it's cum or frosting

But I cheated off of Token!

But I do know that I'm open

But I don't know if he deserves everything

But I think we got everything cleaned up and [ Engine starts ]

But I think we got everything cleaned up and [ Engine starts ]

But I think, eventually,

But I thought all of you saw it.

But I'll try to be more understanding from now on.

But I'm not happy at all.

But I've got these fuckin' kids.

But if a woman isn't having periods anymore,

But if we get it canceled, then everybody loses.

But instead we are to make ourselves passionate.

But instead, I robbed a bank in Saint Denis,

But it always does

But it really wasn't my fault.

But it wasn't you guys.

But it's become quite an eyesore.

But it's Christmas.

But it's not your fault.

But it's only made it worse.

But just hear me out, please.

But listen to me,

But living with someone who has anxiety can

But no exact correlation to a ManBearPig.

But nobody gets away with slandering teachers

But now you can have it with Buddha Box.

But now, I'm one of the popular kids.

But now, it's over.

But only I can really package Tegridy.

But that is some good shit!

But that is some good shit!

But that isn't what matters.

But that was long ago,

But the Ambien makes me kind of black out.

But the carnage will be a thousand times worse

But the Church is the cancer.

But then look!

But then something was said to me by Kyle.

But then, every other minute, I gotta stop everything

But then, one day, somebody told me something.

But then, one night, I'm having sex with your grandma,

But there are so many others who suffer...

But there is help for people like us.

But there's nothing in that statement about Christmas.

But they cut my budget, and I'm stuck with you.

But this demon has grown stronger,

But this Halloween was different,

But this was the first time she used her finger,

But Token did things to make me fail, and it's not fair.

But vaping is a really big problem at our school.

But we always trick or treat together.

But we do!

But we're not gonna tell people 'cause they're gonna copy us,

But we're outraged about something.

But we're pretty much doing things your way up here.

But we're the kids you got to help try and capture ManBearPig?

But when it comes to us, we just can't do it?

But where would priests go this late at night?

But why now? That's the question, Kyle.

But with a man poop right next to it.

But you can't take it out on me anymore.

But you don't want to be elite, 'cause elite's got no Tegridy.

But you gotta pay off the sixth graders,

But you have to use your own brain, sweetheart.

But you're a bitch because it's a lie

But you're missin' the party.

But you're smart and compassionate.

But, Father, please, we all need church.

But, Kenny, if that's true, then...

But, Mayor, it's, uh, Jeff Bezos

But, seriously, we have to find these guys!

But, Token, I don't understand!

But...I thought we were pals.

Butters and I thought we could just make some easy money.

Butters brings him everywhere.

Butters really loves that bike parade.

Butters, are you selling vapes?

Butters, I have to get to class!

Butters, I need help.

Butters, next time when Kyle walks up to you

Butters, this is for Kyle.

Butters, we have to be extra cautious right now

Butters, you know,

Butters, you understand this stuff is

Butters: Happy Birthday, Clyde!

Butters: You know they took away their nap time.

Butters!

Butters? We've lost butters!

Butters?!

Butters?!

Butters.

By 20 points!

By an unknown person's sperm in a lab.

By big corporations.

By growing things

By half.

By Martin Schongauer.

By now ManBearPig is so powerful

By selling their labor power for wages.

By the institutions and the ideology

By the time we're done with that town,

Calm. Center.

Can Can I post that?

Can anyone help with some fun, fruity flavors?

Can I get a beer, please?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Can I talk to you over here?

Can they ever know that I'm their dad?

Can we call this even and end it?

Can we get another goalie, please?

Can we go now?

Can we move him, please?!

Can you get off your god damn video game

Can you get out of the box?

Can you sell us some weed?

Can't be terminated without a hearing.

Can't they handle it themselves?

Can't you understand?!

Candy?

Cartman get the stuff and the cash!

Cartman tricked the guard.

Cartman, what are you doing?

Cartman: $1.3 billion domestic box office.

Cartman: Everybody has dirty laundry.

Cartman: In poker, they call it a bluff.

Cartman: So much has happened.

Cartman: That's him.

Cartman: There's no way we can't win, you guys.

Cartman: This world is full of two types of people

Cheating off of him all the time.

Cherry flavored nicotine?! Are you joking?

Chh, chh, chh, haa, haa, haa.

Children were shot!

Children, everyone just stay back, okay?

Children's underwear

Christmas is the most magical time of the year.

Christmas season means peace on earth

Church is about community and coming together

Church is important, Stan.

Clean Up Bishop: Try the Priest Call.

Clearly what we both need

Clyde: All right, that does it!

Come back. Come back.

Come have some supper with me.

Come on in, Kenny. Let's talk.

Come on in!

Come on, Dad. Let's go!

Come on, dude, we're gonna take 'em for a test spin.

Come on, everybody! Get over here!

Come on, Father!

Come on, Father. You can't give up so fast!

Come on, girls. I'll show you my blue ribbons.

Come on, guys.

Come on, guys. We call upon...

Come on, guys. We can't just turn our backs.

Come on, guys. We don't wanna be late

Come on, I didn't mean pussy drink

Come on, Kenny, don't be a dick.

Come on, Kyle. We all make mistakes.

Come on, let's see what we got.

Come on, PC Babies! We got a job to do!

Come on, Rog! You never saw "Black Panther?"

Come on, the tracks go this way.

Come on, use your brain.

Come on, use your brain.

Come on!

Come on! I don't have time for these little games.

Come on! I'm actually pissed off now!

Come on! We can still get to class on time!

Come on! We have to hurry!

Come on. Get in the car.

Come on. Get out.

Come on. Get outta sight.

Come on. Let's just see how it fits.

Come out with your hands up!

Come out with your hands up!

Comin' soon to a dispensary near you.

Coming soon to a giant online retailer near you.

Commodity fetishism?

Consider yourself lucky, m'kay?

Convince the city council to hire me back.

Cool, man. Talking crap.

Cool!

Cop: Detective!

Cop: Detective?!

Cop: They are coming out!

Cop: What the hell?

Could happen to any worker at a fulfillment center.

Could there be a way to cut the connection?

Cover it! Cover it!

Cover me! Well, okay!

Craig, how about you? What are we dividing?

Crazy time. Crazy red time.

Crowd: Bezos!