Hot Dog The Movie (1984) Edit

A 9.8, 9.9, 9.8, a 10, and a 9.9.

A beautiful jump by Harkin Banks!

A beautiful triple by this exciting newcomer...

A famous French skier.

A friend of mine stayed in a place like this once...

A lay tuck tuck triple.

A lay tuck tuck triple.

A little excited, maybe.

A skosh of Mother's Myers's rum...

A spectacular run by Rudi Garmischt!

A toast to Dom Perignon and the World Cup.

A twist and triple?

About his bubble bath with Sylvia last night?

After the ballet competition...

Ah, Mr. Yamamoto. How are you?

Ah, well, it's the big hill with the snow all over it.

All I was doing was having a little fun with him.

All right, all right!

All right, Banks, good luck to you.

All right, let's go!

All right, now we're saddled with European sponsors.

All right, Squirrel!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right! Nice hand for The Breakers!

All right.

All right. Listen up, everybody!

All right. What about Fergy and Dagger?

All right. Yeah, we got Yamamoto ready.

Always has been.

Am I gonna have to wash dishes, Ace?

An American winner in over five years.

And a touch of scotch.

And call me if you need anything.

And certain Americans don't qualify?

And grab the trophy wins the downhill.

And he's the world freestyle champ the last 2 years running.

And I don't know how to get to your house.

And I especially hope that you, little rookie...

And I had Sunny side all the way around.

And I must apologize for the way that I acted.

And I run the baddest, meanest wet T shirt contest there is!

And I would like to toast Snake legs Banks...

And I'd say two

And I've seen them all.

And if three

And in fifth place, in a surprise return to form...

And newcomer Harkin Banks of the United States...

And now for the rules...

And now the current world champion...

And one's for just plain speed.

And take these with you!

And the blessings of a lemon twist.

And the winner takes all 2,300 bucks!

And then Banana Pants.

And then we fuck our brains out.

And we made a vow

And we'd fallen down

And what difference would it make?

And what were you doing in the hot tub with Sylvia?

And you were going to stay here alone?

And, well, maybe do you just think I could

Anybody home?

Anything goes.

Are you a virgin?

Are you for real?

Are you gonna introduce me or not?

Are you qualified for that?

Are you?

As we go into the final event of this F.l.S. World Cup...

Ask me when I'm in a better mood.

Aspirin, drinky!

Attention, please.

Avalanche City, Outta Bounds, Squirrel Mountain.

Aw, come on.

Aw, Dan, what happened?

Aw, man.

Aw, this is great fun!

Aw, you gotta learn to bend your knees.

Ballet this afternoon...

Banzai!

Be my guest.

Be where?

Beats me. I never been there.

Because he's bad.

Before I can let you go down.

Better close this up don't want anybody to get hurt.

Bring him.

Bullshit! Bullshit!

Bullshit.

But I hope that you understand...

But I'm the one who gets to do it.

But if you ski like you did when you qualified...

But it was only for an hour.

But right in ze middle.

But stay out of the middle here.

But this time, right in the same house.

But what do you need to have a wet T shirt contest?

Can I give you a hand with that?

Checking in?

Chinese downhill.

Chinese downhill. Forty bucks a man.

Come on up here. Yeah.

Come on, Ace, I'll buy you a drink.

Come on, baby! Let's go!

Come on, give me some girls up here!

Come on, I'll buy you a beer, we'll talk about it, hmm?

Come on, wake up!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come, Heinz. We finish this later.

Company, halt!

Competition will begin in thirty minutes.

Compound spiral.

Congratulations.

Couldn't blame a guy, though, could you?

Curtis, W.

Cut it out!

Cute, huh? Oh, and Slasher.

Dagger and Fergy skied better...

Damn it!

Damn it.

Damn sexy, too.

Dan here used to be one of the best.

Dan O'Callahan.

Dan, I know what you're gonna say, but we're running a show.

Dan, I'm between a rock and a hard place.

Did you get that?

Did you see that Garmischt blind side me?

Do you know what I had for breakfast this morning?

Do you know what I had for breakfast this morning?

Do you want to spend the night out here in the truck?

Don't worry.

Don't you like the way I dress?

Drooling all over her.

Eighteen, in April.

Eins, zwei, drei, vier! Eins, zwei, drei, vier!

Entwined

Excuse me, Harkin. Where are you headed?

Excuse me.

Fader, come back here, goddamn it!

Fader, come on, we go back a long way.

Fender

Fergy. will you let the lady sit down, please?

Fifty?

First Harkin and now me.

First thing in the morning.

First, we take off our clothes...

Followed by Werner Bleiner of West Germany in second...

For a total of 41.0.

For that kind of wind to blow

For that kind of wind to blow

For that kind of wind to blow

Freestyle at Squaw Valley.

Freestyler?

From Bonners Ferry, Idaho!

Fuckin' A, man. That jump was totally awesome.

Funny.

Garmischt, any time you're ready, huh?

Georgette.

Get ready to party. Who wants a beer down here?

Get your ass out of here, lady!

Get your mama to bend her knees. I don't have time.

Give it to your girlfriend, Miss Plastic Tits.

Go get 'em, kid.

Go, Rudi!

Going for the gold in three events

Good evening, Harkin.

Good luck, kid.

Good luck, Slasher. Go get 'em, buddy!

Good luck.

Good luck.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Good, good. So, what jump have you got for us today?

Good, huh? Well, Harkin here is gonna put the fear of God...

Good.

Great job!

Greetings. Dan O'Callahan.

Greetings. Dan O'Callahan.

Guys, get her up here! Come on! Bring her up here!

Guys, I'd like to propose a little toast...

Guys, let's get out of here!

Hang a left, catch highway 30, and take it all the way out.

Harkin Banks in second...

Harkin Banks, I'd like you to meet Sylvia.

Harkin Banks! A beautiful run...

Harkin can do whatever the hell he pleases!

He asked if you want to ski with us this afternoon.

He didn't win the World Cup three years in a row...

He figures it was me.

He flashes the biggest moon you ever seen in your life.

He might have been great once.

He passes, and he bows to the judge.

He wasn't that good today.

He won the gold medal in Lake Placid in 1930...

He's a jerk!

He's a jerk!

He's a little crazier than he looks. Come on.

He's been on the world freestyle circuit for 4 years.

He's gonna throw a sai, a sush

He's got a way with words, huh?

He's got another thing coming...

He's made $392, been laid twice.

He's real good. You guys better watch out.

He's the best...

He's throwing a triple.

Heinz Hartmann of Austria in third...

Here in Squaw Valley, U.S.A...

Here, let me give you a hand.

Here.

Here. Don't forget this.

Hey, Adolf! Somebody's talking to you!

Hey, Banks, nice run in ballet the other day, huh?

Hey, buddy, you figure you can get in my pants this way.

Hey, come back here, you goddamn coward!

Hey, Dan, you think maybe I can use your skis...

Hey, Dan! How you doing?

Hey, guys, there are only four seats to a gondola...

Hey, guys, we haven't had...

Hey, Harkin, check this out.

Hey, Harkin.

Hey, Harky, you got something I can wear to bed?

Hey, how old are you?

Hey, how you doing, Sylvia?

Hey, it was too hot to wear underwear.

Hey, Kendo's right.

Hey, let's go!

Hey, listen, kid, I saw your qualifying run this morning.

Hey, look at that!

Hey, Rudi, how's it feel to win and be second best?

Hey, Rudi, you can kiss my ass

Hey, sounds great.

Hey, Squirrel, spot me fifty bucks.

Hey, watch it, buddy! You jerk!

Hey, what do you say we tear up this mountain?

Hey, who needs a drink? Miss, could I

Hey, you guys talking about me again?

Hey, you guys want to go for a nightcap at the Lone Star?

Hey! My man! You did it! You did it!

Hey. guys. anything goes.

Hot.

How about something hot?

How about this for a volunteer?

How about this girl back here? Come on up here!

How about this girl over here?

How about you, honey?

How about you, honey? You want to get up here?

How come that guy threw you out of there like that?

How do you do, darling? I'm new in town...

How do you say in your language

I I ain't figuring nothing.

I ain't going down on a guy at sixty five miles an hour...

I ain't half bad, you know.

I ain't into older men, you know?

I am the champion.

I am?

I came here to compete if I qualify.

I can handle it.

I can see why Harkin likes you.

I can't believe it.

I cranked off the triple, I flew a hundred yards.

I didn't know what I was doing.

I don't know.

I don't know. I think it's got some jets or something...

I don't know. That's why I asked.

I don't like that guy.

I don't need luck.

I don't put out for everyone I pick up.

I don't think so, no.

I don't think so.

I got one for bumps, one for aerials.

I gotta get out my girlfinder!

I guess I'd better be hitting the hay.

I had Sunny side up, and I had Sunny side down...

I have nothing to worry about.

I haven't seen a skier like you in years...

I hope that's your leg.

I hope you run into a truck!

I might make him the guest of honor.

I milked forty head of cattle twice a day.

I never heard of him.

I saw him qualify on Red Dog.

I saw you fall.

I saw you get thrown out of that van.

I say, what do you say?

I still am. What's your name?

I still am. What's your name?

I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.

I suppose a fuck's out of the question, huh?

I swear to God, it's the funniest thing...

I think it should go to the real champion.

I think you need some fluid.

I think you should stay, Sunny.

I thought I'd just stop and give you a few pointers.

I thought you might look nice in them.

I threw the little fish back when I finished with her.

I used to, but I spent all my time skiing.

I was tired.

I'd say one

I'll be doing better once you introduce me to your friend.

I'll be right back.

I'll be there.

I'll bet you have.

I'll bet.

I'll keep an eye out for it.

I'm after Rudi.

I'm Lester the Molester...

I'm skiing the world championships...

I'm tired of this.

I've never seen one of those before.

I've scheduled you for a private tour later on.

If he thinks he's gonna make it with me.

If you get bored with Harkin, send him over later on.

If you say so.

In a beautifully choreographed routine.

In a moment, the judges' scores.

In an orderly fashion spread out!

In fifth place.

In his first international competition!

In his first international competition.

In San Francisco for a while...

In the F.l.S. World Cup.

Into Rudi Kazooti Garmischt.

Into the starting gate...

It feels very good, ja?

It isn't.

It must have been a hell of a jump, Squirrel...

It starts with a little vodka...

It was a long day, and I had a headache...

It was the only place I could get.

It's a business. Accommodations have to be made, O'Callahan.

It's a prescription for crowd scenes.

It's a tough act to follow...

It's a twist and triple.

It's bullshit.

It's every man for himself.

It's gonna be hard to beat that one.

It's OK by me.

It's the last room we had. I was getting worried about you.

It's time for me to move on.

It's water time. Get me a volunteer!

It's working.

Ja, we will see you showoffs, you comedians, tonight, ja?

Ja. It is the only way

Just a moment.

Just a spectator, then?

Just clean out the system.

Just for a crummy ride.

Just go straight down here...

Just just relax.

Just pop it in.

Just relax.

Just you, Daniel Just you.

Kendo Yamamoto of Japan in fourth position...

Kid, let me tell you something.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Let me buy you a drink.

Let's find some more girls.

Let's go into the back here. How about that girl?

Let's hear it for Harkin Banks

Let's hear it for this newcomer...

Let's see them titties!

Let's show 'em a little Irish hospitality.

Let's throw one or two fingers...

Long time ago

Long time ago

Long time ago

Long time ago

Long time ago

Long time ago

Look what we found.

Look, Harkin, it's my business what I swallow, OK?

Luck of the Irish.

Make it forty.

Maybe we should spot them a couple goals.

Mind if I join you?

Mits sushi mitsabish yama what?

Moguls tomorrow, and aerials on Sunday.

More!

Mr. Garmischt?

My jump.

My mother forgot to pack my pajamas.

New on the circuit?

Next time, we'll have uniforms!

Next up is number 101...

Nice coat. Uh...rat?

Nice coat. Uh...rat?

Nice turns!

No kidding?

No shit.

No, it was quite a feast, ja.

No, thanks. I got it.

No, you sure don't.

Not bad.

Not on this side, not on that side...

Now, Dan.

Now, let's go for the girls! Where are you, girls? Come on!

Now, look, Dan, there hasn't been an American freestyler...

Now, Squirrel.

Now, this I can handle.

O'Callahan, it's show business.

O'Callahan? You made it.

Of Rudi Garmischt.

Of the F.l.S. World Cup competition...

Of the international Chinese downhill

Of the U.S., followed by Squirrel...

Oh once

Oh, and that's Fergy, the motormouth shut up.

Oh, and that's Kendo.

Oh, and, uh, Rudi...

Oh, boy.

Oh, don't stop!

Oh, hey, listen, man. We'll join you later.

Oh, I get it. Switch hitter

Oh, I gotta get the house ready for the big party tonight.

Oh, I see.

Oh, my lord!

Oh, she's covering up.

Oh, so what, bitch?

Oh, well, us vets we did it yesterday.

Oh, well, we'll see you tonight. Can I bring you anything?

Oh, you don't like country?

Oh. You're hurting my feelings, my good friend.

OK, but no funny stuff.

OK, come on, we need some more girls!

OK, get down here 'cause you know what time it is?

OK, let's hit it!

OK, Rudi, you can go anytime.

OK. All set?

OK. Thanks a lot.

On the rise

Once every other year not bad, Squirrel.

One thing about Rudi, he sure can ski.

One, two, three!

Ooh, if I could only ski, I'd take this pole and

Out of the way!

Over a thousand miles to get here.

Paying for TV coverage for one name skier.

Please report to the top of the jump immediately.

Please, don't worry.

Please, you finish.

Pleasure.

Point 'em that way and crawl out of my sight?

Put me down! Come on, put me down! Put me down!

Ran away from home, right?

Rat Pack.

Ready...

Right behind Banks in sixth is Dan O'Callahan...

Right, except I haven't found the mountain yet.

Right.

Rotate out of here, Jack!

Rudi challenged us...

Rudi Garmischt, to the starting gate.

Rudi, you hit a new low this time.

Rudi, you're a goddamn low life cretinous slug!

Rudi! He's gonna love this.

Rudolf Garmischt is in first place...

Rudolf Garmischt of Austria is in first place...

San Francisco.

Say hi to Harkin Banks.

Say, little rookie...

Say...

Sayonara!

Scratch an itch?

Second overall is Harkin Banks in his first F.l.S. competition.

See you at the bottom.

She always makes it to the qualifying rounds.

She got tired of being number two.

She is beautiful.

She's not all wrong, Ace.

Site of the 1960 Winter Olympic Games.

Slasher. Slasher.

So ein stupide Amerikaner.

So glad you could make it.

So he skis down right in front of the TV cameras, right?

So someone's gonna have to ride by himself.

So we're just gonna go out and boogie, you know?

So, bring his friend.

So, how come you didn't try nothing last night?

So, it's a business, is that it, fellas?

So, what happens in Squaw Valley besides skiing?

So, what happens now?

So, why you got four pairs of skis back there?

So, you met Rudi, huh?

So? Pick a side and stay there.

Some more.

Someone's at the front desk.

Son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch!

Sorry, Squirrel. Come on, guys.

Speed? I could use some of that.

Squaw Valley's favorite freestyler...

Squirrel skiing with his pants split up the middle.

Squirrel, all right!

Squirrel.

Straight on out, and you can't miss it.

Sure.

Sylvia used to be Rudi's girlfriend...

Take it off! Take it off!

Take your starting position.

Take your starting position.

Tell me about it.

Than most of the Europeans on the tour.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thanks. Come on, Harkin.

Thanks. I wrote it myself.

That doesn't seem fair.

That forces the water up.

That I'm really not such a bad guy.

That is why we are here.

That makes Rudolf Garmischt all around world champion...

That was Harkin Banks in a beautiful first run...

That was Rudi Garmischt...

That was Rudolf Garmischt...

That way she can check out the new talent.

That way you could suck up the bumps.

That we didn't get along so well...

That we'd remain as friends

That will work in Europe, yeah?

That's a long time, you know

That's a long time, you know

That's close enough.

That's cute.

That's gonna put him within striking distance...

That's it.

That's right. Rudi. You've been backdoored again...

That's right. Take no prisoners.

That's Rudolf Garmischt!

That's today's best score.

That's why she's got the Rudettes...

The air is so clean in the mountains.

The best two out of three?

The Bonners Ferry flash...

The Chinese downhill will decide everything.

The first man to cross the finish line...

The first time that we met.

The guys are all pulling for you.

The little short ones there are for ballet...

The pressure's on, Rudi.

The results of these jumps...

The room, the food, this sweater?

The second event of this championship weekend.

The world's greatest skier.

Then...

There it is.

There, the women are beautiful, but also intelligent.

They don't post the results till tonight...

They look nervous.

They ski better than half the Europeans.

They were vicious, but we tried.

They're not gonna play serious, are they?

They're so far up his ass, they don't know...

This game's not over yet.

This is Squirrel Murphy.

This looks like a cathouse.

Three's a long way to go

Till someone long dicked her in Europe.

To a broom ball match tonight at the Arena.

To rip your pants off.

To see the finest freestyle skiers in the world...

To see the finest freestyle skiers in the world...

To see who stays behind. You ready?

To Squirrel Murphy.

To those kids that have traveled...

Touch me!

Try that on for size.

Uh uh. Sylvia's sure got what it takes.

Uh, may I recommend my specialty the leg spreader?

Un uh. It's my treat.

Want to tag along?

Want to tag along?

Want to try these on?

Was ist los? lhr schweinhund.

Was to gaze into your eyes

Watch out, watch out.

Watch out!

Watch out! Watch out!

We are all friends here.

We are now down to the last two jumps of the day.

We call him Kamikaze.

We need more girls than this, though, don't we?

We said we shall rise again

We spend one night together, and you own me?

We were dreamers

We were dreamers on the mend

We were dreamers on the mend

We were dreamers on the rise

We were dreamers on the rise

We were dreamers on the rise

We were dreamers on the rise

We were dreamers on the rise

We win the trophy!

We're gonna hit some radical terrain

We're here on East Broadway...

We've got fourteen European sponsors...

Welcome to Squaw.

Welcome to the mogul competition...

Welcome, everybody, to the first major event...

Welcome, everybody.

Well, Curtis, you can take your starting position.

Well, Harkin Banks, I want you to meet the Rat Pack.

Well, he might be a great skier, but he's a world class asshole.

Well, how can you afford all of this?

Well, how come you cut Fergy and Dagger?

Well, I don't like it.

Well, I was fixing a drink, and I hit a tree.

Well, I was worried.

Well, I'm gonna do it.

Well, it might not be that bad! Let's party!

Well, it's a really nice place you have here.

Well, it's any time you're ready now.

Well, kinda looks like...

Well, long day tomorrow.

Well, look who's here Mr. Personality.

Well, my ma knit the sweater...

Well, of course. Hey, Hark, come here.

Well, see you on the mountain, huh, kid?

Well, then let's climb aboard...

Well, tough. What do you think...

Well, what do you think?

Well, what was it?

Well, where were you last night?

Well, you had your chance, fella.

Well, you know, he's got a friend.

West. How about you?

Wet T shirt contest time!

What are you getting so bent out of shape for...

What difference does it make?

What do you mean, what difference would it make?

What do you think, guys?

What do you want?

What the Heinz!

What the fuck is Chinese downhill?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

What the hell?

What, here?

What, were you on 'shrooms or what?

What?

What?

What's more, you got lousy taste in music!

What's that mean?

What's the directions you got to McDermott?

What's the matter with you guys?

What's this Kiss ass blaster?

What's your name?

Wheaties.

When you see him ski, you'll know why.

Where did you get all this stuff?

Where he leaves off and they begin.

Where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous.

Where the nightbird only flies

Where the sun never shines

While you're laid up?

Who could beat Garmischt in five years.

Who wants a beer?

Who's he?

Whoa! Get a load of him.

Whoa! This is great!

Whoo! All right!

Why don't you bring the trophy?

Why don't you try something different, OK?

Why don't you turn that down?

Will all finalists in the aerials...

Will determine the overall F.I.S. World Cup champion.

Wipe out!

Wishes came into my life

With a clean sweep of all events.

With a spectacularly executed triple jump.

Won't be too shy to join us.

Would be turning back our lives

Wow! Get a load of this!

Wrong. You got to have a home to run away from.

Yeah, all right!

Yeah, best run of the morning, man!

Yeah, could you wash our truck for us?

Yeah, Garmshit. Why don't you ask the rookie here...

Yeah, I'll be there.

Yeah, next time!

Yeah, the boy is good, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Yeah, well, I got to know what it is...

Yeah, well, she's just a kid.

Yeah, you just ain't staying on Sylvia's top forty, shorty.

Yeah, you've got a couple, so why don't you...

Yeah! Nice going!

Yeah! Yeah! Come on up here! Another volunteer!

Yeah? My sister says that I'm as good as John Denver.

Yeah? Well, why don't you explain that...

Yeah. Banks, Harkin.

Yeah. Hey, we were small, but we were slow.

Yeah. It's just like back home.

Yeah. Sylvia, this is Sunny. Sunny, Sylvia.

Yeah. Why not?

Yes, I do! Oh, I want more!

Yes, we do, but in order to find girls...

You ain't some kind of a weirdo, are you?

You busy for dinner?

You call yourselves promoters?

You can call her Michelle. She's taken.

You can go.

You can have him back.

You can take your starting position.

You could be the kid we're looking for.

You did it!

You didn't exactly invite me, anyway.

You do know how to do that, don't you?

You don't need that.

You don't want to miss any spots.

You ever saw was Squirrel

You fool! imbecile!

You got a girlfriend, Ace?

You got a good eye, kid.

You got it.

You got more going for you than skiing any day.

You got screwed.

You got something besides this?

You got to be pretty good to make it on this circuit, kid.

You got your work cut out for you today, huh, Rudi?

You guys thought you'd have seltzer bottles...

You had the best run on the hill, man.

You here to qualify, too?

You know something, guys? I'm getting too old for this.

You know something, Rudi?

You know there's only one bed in here.

You know, I remember when this used to be a sport.

You know, I'm very sorry...

You landed kind of hard. Are you sure you're OK?

You may ski on that side or on that side...

You missed a spot.

You never know where you're gonna get burned.

You people, stay out of our way!

You play well.

You really are a sicko, lady!

You see, I don't really have to be...

You shouldn't have done that! That was Rudolf Garmischt!

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch!

You sure ask a lot of questions.

You toad sucking son of a bitch!

You want a sip?

You were terrific today, Harkin.