Mallrats (1995) Edit

A deeply resentful retail manager?

A difficulty in affecting a resolution …

A Jedi craves not these things.

A little jealousy residue?

A man with his hand in his pants.

A normal guy one minute, a rage of emotions the next.

A schooner is a sailboat, stupidhead.

About approximately

About that …

About the sex drive of men ages 14 to 30.

Absolutely. I'm always one for active non talking.

Act like you fucking live here.

Actually, I was just looking at this little pink number over here.

Admit it?

Adventure? Excitement?

Afraid so. This is so cool.

After everyone's asleep at night

After my 18th birthday, to avoid the moral and legal entanglements.

After that shit you pulled last night,

Afterwards.

Ah. Now you're crying patsy …

All I said was the Easter Bunny

All I'm saying is that the really good guys are few and far between.

All it took was a fat chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights.

All right, gentlemen, free your mind.

All right, guys. You have your mission …

All right, honey.

All right, I'll tell you what.

All right, I'm ready.

All right, look.

All right, so you can't scream at him, but after all he's done …

All right, tell you what. You go round the back …

All right, when's my birthday?

All right, where's Brandi? Let go of me!

All right?

All right? Hmm? We clear on that?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Now, uh …

All the discomfort I can stand for a day.

Amongst other things.

Anarchy rules, dude!

And all I ever hear is water running.

And being on TV, I'd be scared as hell if I were you two.

And don't ever lose that nipple.

And even when we were at my grandmother's funeral …

And eventually we broke up.

And ever since, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick.

And for that I'm sorry.

And for vomiting on my shoes.

And get the hell out of here, I'll kick your ass.

And get you on tape with their backyard behind you?

And he has quite a distaste for you, I might add.

And he pumpkin bombed the hell out of the place.

And here I'm going to the fucking mall, of all places.

And how they refuse to be intimidated

And I can't see a goddamned thing!

And I realize I'm to bear most of the blame for that.

And I said, "Jesus Christ, Donald, that's what I've been doing for 30 years."

And I suppose you're here with no agenda, as per usual.

And I thought maybe we might chat.

And I use that suggestion to fuck them someplace very uncomfortable.

And I want those two guys arrested.

And I'm not gonna leave until I see this sailboat everyone keeps talking about.

And I'm sure that one day she'll be even more successful than me.

And I'm sure you did just that at least once or twice …

And I'm sure you're very good at …

And it's that kind of smarts we need, right, mopey?

And knock out the fucking pin …

And let us follow through with our plans?

And my suggestion to you is …

And no chance of making it in the real world.

And no doubt you're sweaty as hell.

And nobody ever reported this to the authorities?

And not in an upscale commercial setting?

And now you have the gall to ask me if I still want to go on vacation.

And now you're going to auction her off

And now, you and your crony here egg these media vultures …

And run over with a lawn mower.

And selling two editions of the book in varied ink chromium covers?

And show my father how wrong he is about our relationship.

And sneak out undetected in the morning?

And start working for a living …

And the grass is for outside.

And then he said:

And there's only one way to find out.

And they were celebrating a black mass.

And they're fairly open to suggestion.

And threw her off the roof.

And two strong auras produce positive results.

And violation of about 19 FCC regulations.

And walks away clean, huh!

And what's that?

And when that's gone, the stage is trashed and we go smoke a bowl.

And while I know she's generally a good girl …

And you asked me to sleep underneath the bed …

And you lay behind them really close

And you people, you get the hell out of here before I call the cops!

And you throw one arm over them?

And you watch TV while we screw.

And, dude, don't forget your helmet. Snoogins.

And, holy shit, what do we have here?

And?

And?

Any more of our satanic rituals lately?

Any other extra body parts?

Any particular reason?

Anything outside of said designated square …

Apparently, you're both on the outs

Are we set or what? Good to go.

Are you insane? The guy looks like a date rapist!

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you nuts?

Are you ready?

Are you watching this shit, man? It's fucked up!

As a contestant.

As a way to deal with your one big regret.

As an albatross around my daughter's neck for the rest of her life …

Ask one of the workers.

Asshole! Prick!

Asshole.

Asshole.

At least for the duration of this evening's show.

At least for the duration of this evening's show.

At the Menlo Park mall was more convincing.

Away from our friends, school, studies, everything.

Back to Brandi's.

Barking at Brandi over the phone about it.

Based on a treatment and a sample chapter.

Be fair, all right?

Be fair, all right?

Beat a rain check into my stomach.

Because all the money, all the women …

Because I have nothing better to do than fuck you.

Because of its sentimental attachment.

Being a man who, uh, believes in …

Believe it or not, some people still frown on topless fortune telling.

Believe me, I might consider trying …

Beside them, not just fuck them on a gaming table.

Besides, it is really important for my father's career.

Besides, who else but you remembers shit like that?

Between the first and the last …

Big titted mermaids doing lesbian shit.

Blood bank, sperm bank, currently considering the eye bank.

Bloody savage.

Boy, look at the shine on that.

Boy, they sure seem to be in love, huh?

Brandi dumped him.

Brandi has a bright future.

Brandi, the guy hates me, for Christ's sake.

Brandi, wait!

Brandi, wait!

Brandi?

Breakfast, shmeckfast. Look at the score, for God's sake.

Breakfast!

Breakfasts come and go, Rene.

Brenda? Dick!

Brodie said to give this to you.

Brodie, I'd give it all up, all of it …

Brodie, man, what's going on?

Brodie, man! Nootchy nootchies!

Brodie, Tell me about the Rene break up.

Brodie, what kills me about you is your inability to function …

Brodie!

Bruce.

Bullshit. Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs …

But "accident" is too light a term

But aside from that, it's pretty much the same thing.

But Brandi and I are both okay. We—

But hey, it was a grant that would have enabled …

But his mother should suffer that horrific ordeal …

But I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand them all.

But I would have sent you a postcard.

But I'm alerting Mr. Svenning.

But I've prided myself on the fact …

But if we're divorced, we're gonna have to divide our mutual possessions.

But if you want to destroy the stage, we're all for that.

But it'll be a cold day in hell before you pull the wool over my eyes.

But my shallow friend isn't interested in his future,

But now that you mention it, when a girl says it's a good size …

But now you give me something even worse to think about.

But only if they were really old.

But only one of you makes it vocal.

But some parent, conditioned him …

But that would kill him.

But that's beside the point.

But they're engaged. It doesn't matter, it can't happen.

But to peddle this show to the network execs and beg for a job.

But to penalize Brandi and I, our relationship, for that …

But when we get to Florida in …

But why pay some old hag good money …

But you …

But you gotta put the other arm somewhere.

But you'll notice that follows the financial question, proving once more …

But, I mean, how would a terrorist know me?

By elbowing me in my frigging tit!

By the Drama and History Clubs.

By the tremendous odds of failure they face.

Bye bye, Easter Bunny.

Bye, baby kitties.

Calm down.

Can we do it? Please?

Can you blame them after the spectacle you made of yourself?

Can you get up? Am I still glowing?

Can you imagine anyone wanting to attack me, for Christ's sake?

Can you run interference with the lug?

Can't you explain it to him? You know it was an accident.

Capricious youth?

Chat? Mmm hmm. Yes, chat.

Chocolate covered pretzel?

CNN, Willam.

Combine your efforts.

Come back here and arrest this goon!

Come on, Brandi. What about Florida?

Come on, isn't there some other way?

Come on, people. Are we working here?

Come on, T.S., it's no big deal.

Come on, we're fucked! They're right behind us. Come on!

Come over here, okay? All right? Ready?

Come, son of Jor El! Kneel before Zod!

Cookie stand is not part of the food court.

Cool.

Copy that. By the stage.

Could be. It'll explain why he hates me so much.

Could this week get any worse?

Could we possibly go onto your property …

Could you have him removed? The show's about to start.

Couldn't be. I'm never at the mall much.

Couple of pins in the hip, I'll be good as new.

Crazy fuck thinks he'll levitate shit with his thoughts.

Cum laude, '69.

Daddy, T.S. had nothing to do with—

Daddy, what are you doing outside in a towel?

Daddy? It's me, Brandi.

Damn, anyone ever tell you you drive like the Bandit?

Damn, Silent Bob, show some heart.

Damn, that bastard's faster than Walt Flanagan's dog.

Damn, that's hot!

Damn! Would you feel that iron grip handshake!

Dark chocolate? Yeah!

Deny it all you want. I think you're too proud to admit you want her back.

Depends on it.

Did we ever get along?

Did you ever get back together with her?

Did you ever stop to think …

Did you hear that?

Did you see that shit? Do you call that romance?

Didn't anyone ever tell you not to point guns at people?

Didn't I dump your ass this morning?

Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds?

Didn't I see you on the news?

Do I give a shit when two major comic labels are crossing over characters …

Do it, Doug!

Do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit?

Do you have …

Do you have any idea how powerful this thing is?

Do you remember that costume party?

Do you think her fallopian tubes can handle his sperm?

Do you want me to rub it?

Do your parents know about this?

Doctor Doom wears body armor

Does what I think it's going to do.

Doesn't mean I wasn't regretful about it.

Doing sitting alone in the middle of this monument to consumerism?

Don't be such a damn fundamentalist.

Don't forget to look for your Easter eggs on Sunday.

Don't front, Brodie. I talked to Rene's cousin this morning.

Don't get me wrong. I don't wish the kid harm …

Don't I even get to wash my hand first? Brodie!

Don't listen to him. I studied my ass off. Yeah, right.

Don't sweat it, though. He's leaving. Oh.

Don't wait.

Don't worry. I didn't let your mother see me.

Don't you think that might be a little part of the motive here?

Don't you want to spend some time alone with me?

Dude, don't encourage him.

Dude, this looks like your mom.

Dude, you're a mad chick magnet!

Dude. Don't give him any shit, all right?

Empire Entertainment recommends you do not partake …

Entitled <i>Light Your Own Lamps.</i>

Especially in a musical.

Even all the comic books in the world,

Even dated her once.

Even if I did meet one, I guarantee I'd use him as the basis for my comparison.

Ever slept with somebody?

Everyone a glory hound, I always say.

Everyone around here is paralyzed by fear.

Everyone sees this thing except me.

Everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. We gotta go.

Everything is handed to you on a silver platter.

Ew, he mentioned me during sex?

Ex girlfriend. What's he doing?

Excelsior! Oh, you got that right.

Except for the moustache.

Excuse me, sir. Are you the producer of this program?

Excuse me?

Excuse me. Don't hit me.

Figure it out.

Fill this with Coke, no ice.

Fine, I'll play along.

Fine. I gotta get back to the store. Let's go.

Finish up with this tough guy back and forth?

Finishing my game.

First, you take a run at LaFours with a sock full of quarters.

Focus. That's what I was thinking.

Food poisoning.

For a minute there, I thought that we were in trouble.

For a problem.

For a week now from opening till closing

For broadcasting lewd or indecent images in a public forum …

For irony! Your average terrorist's a showman first, killer second.

For just one more day with her.

For such luxuries as ring polishing.

For supernatural chicanery coupled

For the rest of your young life, you goddamned little menace!

For what?

For what? For the mall.

Forget you ever dated Rene.

Freeze!

From the <i>Spider Man</i> anniversary issue.

Fuck all that shit. Come on, Silent Bob.

Fuck this.

Fuck you, fan boy!

Fuck you! What the hell was that all about?

Fucking bickety bam, the whole stage comes crashing down.

Geez!

Gentlemen, please trust me.

Get a grip, for God's sake.

Get dressed.

Get me another highball.

Get me to the goddamned hospital.

Get off my set!

Get off! Move! Here, let me help you.

Get the backdrop ready. Are those lights ready to go?

Get the hell off of him. Come on.

Get your asses up there and arrest those guys.

Go ahead, but hurry, the Easter Bunny's waiting.

Go ahead. It beats the sneaking around shit.

Go forth and wreak havoc.

Go on the other side and put the podium

God damn, I fractured my collarbone.

God! What?

Goddamn it! What is my problem?

Good buys. Great people. Earthy aromas.

Good luck with that thing.

Good luck with the comic book store.

Gov. Dalton, this is Jared Svenning …

Governor, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Governor, please.

Guard, come here. Get this guy off of my set.

Guilty. The Incredible Hulk?

Gwen, you were always cheating on him.

Had one. We just broke up.

Had some parent, I don't care which one,

Hamilton!

Has got the latest <i>Godzilla</i> bootlegs?

Hate to have her mad at me.

Have a great show. Okay. Bye.

Have been dating long enough for you to have slimed your way into her panties …

Have them differently than they've ever been had before?

Have you ever considered hosting your own talk show? Yeah.

He and that broad tried to kill the Governor.

He busted in on me twice while I was trying on stuff.

He can't risk losing face in front of the network execs.

He can't touch us once it starts. It's a live feed.

He figures if you pull this crossbeam out …

He just jumped the railing and knocked me down.

He just wanted to give me something that he forgot to give me a long time ago.

He read an article today comparing him to the father of James Earl Ray.

He said it was just a guy in a suit.

He says he wants to kick your ass.

He seems to be really hung up on superheroes' sex organs.

He told me that his intentions were

He tried to screw me somewhere very uncomfortable once.

He was interning at KREL and he said he heard Svenning …

He was up and at work by 9:00 this morning.

He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator …

He'd love for us not to go on that vacation, that's for sure.

He'd love to see us break up.

He's a jerk from Fashionable Male,

He's a much more suitable companion than you, any day.

He's fucking dead!

He's got a funny way of showing it,

He's got a point, man. This is live. Anything could happen.

He's harmless now. Okay?

He's here.

He's only the most feared security guard in the business, man.

He's with me.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.

Hell, I'm as proud of it as I am of this game show here.

Her father had sex with a goat right there in the den.

Her father!

Her mother, she left us when Brandi was only 3.

Here you are now, a legend in the field.

Here, come over here to the right. Oh!

Here, lean over here.

Hey man, I just want to tell you that I really dug what you did up there.

Hey, anything for you, babe. It's your day.

Hey, back off.

Hey, did you see LaFours out there? No.

Hey, fellas!

Hey, guys. Wait in line like everybody else.

Hey, Gwen, he didn't really mean to hit you.

Hey, I think they're trying to signal us.

Hey, I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but, oh, no …

Hey, look at that couple.

Hey, man! It wasn't me!

Hey, man. Didn't I see you on CNN?

Hey, Roddy! What?

Hey, Stan! Yeah?

Hey, want a cookie? It's on me.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Look at that ring. What is that?

Hey.

Hi.

Him?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Holy fuck. He'll kill him.

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit! Brandi dumped you.

Holy shit! If it isn't <i>mon frère.</i>

Holy shit! You slept with that asshole? Why?

Holy! You spoke.

How come we went out as long as we did?

How did I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi …

How do you answer to your neighbor's charges

How do you propose I do that?

How does he explain it to his colleagues and family?

How does that junior Masters and Johnson know about my proposal?

How her father made her do the game show

How is it that you recall the most trivial events?

How long is this thing going to take?

How many are there?

How much did you smoke?

How much do I owe you? My treat.

How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store, anyway?

How old was last night's subject, if you don't mind me asking?

How so?

How well you two complemented each other …

How'd Sean find this out?

How'd you manage that?

I accept the fact that you no doubt fucked my daughter.

I also hope to come loud one day, preferably in a 69.

I assure you, tonight's program will go off without a hitch.

I attack the structure Wolvie berserk style

I believe when Mr. LaFours turns us over to the police …

I believe you have something that belongs to me.

I better not find you within 10 city blocks of her …

I blame the parents. It's the parents at blame.

I call you all the time!

I can't believe …

I can't believe I'm standing here talking to you!

I can't believe that you're still going through with this.

I can't believe you have the nerve to come to my mall and pick up guys!

I can't even find the words.

I can't guarantee she'll like you, but …

I can't thank you enough, Mr. Lee. Oh, forget it.

I couldn't risk having you screw up my career …

I cry.

I decided to set up this little ambush …

I didn't even want to do this.

I do not. Mmm.

I don't buy her power.

I don't even have a license. Just go!

I don't know how you got back in,

I don't know what came over me.

I don't know what he's so mad about.

I don't know, I think you would have.

I don't know. All the comics in the world?

I don't know. She's with somebody.

I don't like shiftless layabouts.

I don't like you.

I don't want to be here when that tape

I don't want to know.

I feel nauseous.

I felt obligated to defend myself against her accusations.

I figure you can have the odd days,

I forgot what real men were like.

I get everybody's consent before we do it.

I got a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair, for Christ's sake.

I got a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair, for Christ's sake.

I got two things to tell you.

I gotta split. You gonna be okay?

I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun, right through her back.

I guess, as far as couples go.

I had a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair.

I had blown it. I had missed my window.

I have always taken you with a grain of salt.

I have just taken the necessary precautions …

I have lined up …

I have lined up some really bright kids here.

I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.

I have something …

I have to admit I'm shocked you didn't try to dissuade them.

I have to work completely …

I hear he's even got two kills.

I hear the Easter Bunny was accosted this morning.

I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues.

I hope so, Jared, for your sake.

I just did.

I knew it. I can't believe you.

I knew this game show thing was just a beard for an attempt to break us up.

I know exactly how he feels. Excuse me.

I know it wasn't planned.

I know it's gonna be hard to give this stuff up

I know just the place. Whatever. Let's just go.

I know we probably worried you,

I know what you mean.

I know. You're the guy from the news that kidnapped the President's daughter …

I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship.

I love the retard.

I mean, half the time I'm just talking out of my ass.

I mean, I ask you …

I mean, I can't exactly ask Brandi to marry me if …

I mean, it's not like I'm going to sleep with them.

I mean, you're like all the other spoiled jerks

I must be slipping in my old age.

I need testosterone after babysitting you and your comic book collection.

I need you to wire something together for me.

I need your help. What?

I needed a 25 year old.

I never could figure out what you saw in this place.

I never farted in front of Rene, not once, all right?

I never saw a third guy.

I never would have guessed.

I prefer ritual suicide.

I probably look like my old man.

I realize that the other night didn't go very well for you.

I remember coming over for Christmas one year …

I remember when I dumped T.S.

I see you every week in this mall.

I sense a grave disturbance between you both.

I shut the camera off after the sex.

I spotted two, a male and a female.

I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you.

I tell you what. Why don't …

I think about all that and I cry …

I think about how those people are out there every day …

I think about the people that make decisions that affect our lives.

I think he bought it.

I think I felt it move.

I think I'll pass. Do me a favor.

I think it's going to be on TV.

I think she's even looking forward to it.

I thought everybody loved you at this mall.

I thought so at first.

I thought that you might be able to handle this like an adult …

I thought that you'd be down there

I thought that you'd screwed up in every way possible tonight, T.S.

I thought we weren't going through this break up, make up shit anymore.

I threw her away like a parking ticket. Ha!

I told him, "Donald …

I took you shopping all the time!

I want it toward the front.

I want the fucking Department down here now to arrest those guys.

I want to apologize for this fiasco.

I want to do girly things like fix someone's hair and get romantic phone calls.

I wanted to finish that paper on supernovas …

I was coding last night's research.

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, T.S.

I was gonna propose to her. Where?

I was just gonna propose.

I was thinking of calling you.

I was this close to reconciliation and I blew up at her.

I was warned about you.

I was wrong about you. You're crass and retarded.

I wasn't gunning for the Governor, Brodie.

I went on with my life.

I went out with him after we dated.

I won't.

I wonder if my mother ever wore a pair like this.

I would if I actually thought for a second they could pull it off.

I would insist that the authorities lock you up …

I would've been a sexy chick.

I wouldn't be too proud of that.

I, too, now am in the framing business.

I'd cut one of my nuts in half to be on TV.

I'd like to free something.

I'd look the same if I banged anyone in that elevator,

I'd steer clear of him, if I were you.

I'll be able to see the flop sweat form on your brow.

I'll fucking take all of you on!

I'll get on her dad's show.

I'll go get a therapist for you.

I'll go home! You dragged me here!

I'll just let you finish your star gazing.

I'll never forget it. How many chances

I'll remember it when I'm fucking your girlfriend.

I'll run interference with the fourth estate.

I'll take the even days and weekends.

I'll take you from behind here.

I'll tell you, what you need is a fatty boombatty blunt.

I'm a girl, damn it!

I'm afraid not.

I'm all out. I'll meet you at the food court.

I'm Bentley Garrison, with the network.

I'm broke. I'll pay you back.

I'm convinced. She's got the gift.

I'm glad we had this little chat.

I'm going to make it my mission in life …

I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson about being demure for your man.

I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch.

I'm gonna watch you from up here.

I'm having a hard time with this.

I'm not glowing.

I'm not going anywhere until I find out why I can't get my comics.

I'm not sure I follow you, sir.

I'm on it. Wait a sec, where is that tubby bitch?

I'm only in the middle of the second and I'm winning 12 to 2.

I'm preoccupied.

I'm starting to get a mean hard on.

I'm supposed to be on it. I'm Gil Hicks.

I'm sure you were just PMSing or something.

I'm sure you're gonna love it.

I'm talking comics and you bring up chicks and romance?

I'm Tori Metzger from <i>Hard Edition.</i>

I'm trying to spend my lunch hour with my lady friend here.

I'm young, virile, sensitive to a woman's needs …

I've already reached my lowest.

I've always felt bad about the fact that I had to raise Brandi on my own.

I've been looking all over for you two.

I've ever known in my whole life!

I've got the game show tonight.

I've never met a person who lives in as much fear of his mother as you do.

I've no idea why.

If he gives you any shit, you have my permission to castrate him.

If he weren't so hung up on you.

If I have a glow it's because just I got laid.

If I have any of that crap …

If I remember correctly, <i><i>it's titled <i>Bore gasm:</i>

If I remember correctly, you're a big pretzel fan.

If Lois gets a tan, the kid could kick right through her stomach.

If she's not smart enough to see him for what he is,

If there isn't anything else …

If there's anyone that can help us out …

If there's anything even remotely resembling

If this is her idea of protective,

If you don't stop gawking at me

If you have heart condition, suffer from nervous nausea …

If you stare at this poster for a few seconds, a hidden picture appears.

If you think that I'm gonna suffer any more of your shit with a smile …

If you're gonna bother me about this for the rest of the day …

If you're gonna put me on TV. Come on!

Impossible! The Easter Bunny Court is down at the other end of the mall.

In a bookstore?

In an effort to better further your own career?

In case your mother burst in, I did it.

In fact …

In fact, I haven't met one since T.S.

In fact, the two of you have so much in common …

In jail.

In my own house, probably while I was at home.

In order to do that … Mmm …

In some psycho behavioral research?

In that shit pit you call the dirt mall …

In the fortune telling activities contained within.

In the most notorious of body cavities. Sounds just like him.

Into a CD player, using chicken wire and shit.

Into doing something I have zero interest in?

Into syndication viable programming …

Into thinking they can …

Involving some bastard kid that could've been easily avoided …

Is a lecture on my love life.

Is considered an autonomous unit for mid mall snacking.

Is enhanced by Earth's yellow sun.

Is it because it's a challenge?

Is it because it's taboo?

Is Jared Svenning down there?

Is that ingenuity or what?

Is that it? We were gonna do that anyway.

Is that my jacket? Start the elevator.

Is that so?

Is there a dance number?

Is this what's known as motivated salesmanship?

Is too much.

Is yourself, my friend.

Isn't that Rene?

Isn't that right, Mr. LaFours?

Isn't this guy from Monmouth State?

It can't happen. I'll make it happen.

It doesn't have to go down like that, if we trash the thing.

It finally hit me that T.S. is a great catch.

It goes up and down.

It looks like a stage is being erected.

It makes the news easier to take.

It means frightened and weak willed. Really?

It was a costume party, T.S.

It was a stupid misunderstanding.

It was just a warm up. Please, come on?

It was the guy who runs that store Fashionable Male.

It was vice versa.

It wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.

It'll be great practice for when we get older,

It'll give her a chance to find herself a decent guy.

It's a nice way of saying that it's small.

It's a superhero secret.

It's at my house. Take T.S.'s station wagon, parked in 2D.

It's because you brought it over to my house and left it there.

It's been like this all morning.

It's been up since two days after Christmas. I want answers.

It's called <i>Truth or Date</i> or something.

It's certainly why ours did.

It's clear as day! Look at it, for God's sake.

It's hard to sometimes ignore certain, uh …

It's important! The future of my relationship

It's impossible. Lois could never have Superman's baby.

It's not like she'll fuck the guy on public access.

It's not like she's in an exclusive club or anything.

It's not like we're talking quantum physics here.

It's okay, we're not armed.

It's the two guys that have even less to do than us.

Jackass.

Jerk!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ! Are you back in the bathroom again?

Jesus Christ! Don't kill me!

Jesus, Brodie!

Jesus! Haven't I made it clear during the tenure of our friendship …

Jesus! I'd hate to tell you what I think about when I'm in the bathroom.

Jesus! You know, for a science major,

Jesus.

Just as you're making headway, you louse it up with this …

Just don't eyeball everyone like that.

Just go out and woo like you're supposed to and nobody gets hurt.

Just hurling themselves across the stage, I always say.

Just ignore them and go in.

Just kidding.

Just leave me alone. Please.

Just shut up!

Just to talk.

Just try playing the lottery.

Just trying to capture the '90s youth market

Keep that.

Keep up all the good work.

Kitty, kitty, kitty!

Kitty, kitty, kitty! Hey, Jay!

Knock it off!

Knock it off!

LaFours, man. Silent Bob, he's my fucking board, man.