Blazing Saddles (1974) Edit

A box of these.

A cry went up for a man with guts

A little further down, to the right.

A plan. A plan. We need a plan.

A sheriff! But law and order is the last thing I want.

A torch to light the way

A torch to light the way

A wed wose. How womantic!

A'y g'zwnt. Take off.

Action! Okay. Oh, wait until I get out.

Ah, good morning, ma'am.

Ah, oh yes.

Ah, that was a very good suggestion.

Ah, well...

Ahh, I feel wefweshed!

Ain't gonn' do you no good, nohow!

Ain't it a crying shame?

Ain't it a crying shame?

All I can get.

All my plans have backfired!

All right, all right...

All right, cut!

All right, folks, I know you're a bit confused wondering what you're doing...

All right, help me in with this.

All right, here we go. Hold your ears, folks!

All right, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar!

All right, sheriff. 24 hours.

All right, we'll settle it like men.

All right, you caught me.

All right. Here.

Always like to keep my audience riveted.

Am I wrong...

Amen!

An army of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the West!

And all at once the trouble started

And all they ask in return is a little plot of land...

And always too soon

And Bart Was his name

And by gum, we're not going to give up now!

And cattle ****d!

And duck!

And fear fills the land

And goddamn it, I'm going to die here!

And I've been there ever since.

And isn't it a lovely morning?

And it will work!

And it's utter chaos down here.

And may God grant...

And maybe do a little snooping.

And no sidewinder, bushwhacking, hornswoggling...

And now we'll go to the Special Effects Department.

And now, folks, the gal you've all been waiting for...

And now, for my next impression, Jesse Owens!

And one for Miss Stein, my beloved secretary.

And right here, Mr. Lamarr, is where we ran into quicksand.

And set off the dynamite down there?

And so the rail road has got to go through Rock Ridge.

And the rest is history.

And there I was face to face...

And they are so dumb!

And they probably won't give me credit for it.

And they say that now in Paris, France, even as we speak...

And they were right!

And tomorrow when Hedley Lamarr and his men come riding in...

And when the beast fails, it's time to call in beauty.

Any minute now they're going to discover the town is fake and pull out!

Anyway, when you hear the word "go," you just try to grab it.

Are we awake?

Are we black?

Are you crazy? They'll never go for it, and then again they might.

Are you in show business?

Are you kidding?

Arson, armed robbery, mayhem.

As Attorney General, I can assure you...

As Attorney General, I can assure you...

As Chairman of the Welcoming Committee...

As she reads a telegram that she herself has composed to the governor...

As your spiritual leader, I implore you...

At the rekindling of our association.

Auf wiedersehen, baby.

Baby, please, I am not from Havana.

Back up off your brother! Don't mess up your brother!

Be ready to attack Rock Ridge at noon tomorrow. Here's your badge.

Be with you in a minute.

Beauty?

Besides, I'm late for work. I've got some heavy chores to do.

Bet my money on de bob tail nag Somebody bet on the bay!

Bitte, baby.

Boy, is he strict!

Bullshit, what's the job?

Bullshit!

But as you can see...

But haven't you taken a giant leap away from your good senses?

But haven't you taken a giant leap away from your good senses?

But they'll be here in half an hour.

But they'll think it's the real Rock Ridge!

But to tell a family secret, my grandmother was a Dutch.

But we don't want the Irish!

But we'll know it's the fake Rock Ridge!

But we're going to die, Bart. They're going to leave us here to die!

But where would I find such a man?

Camp Town race track five miles long Oh, doo dah day

Camptown ladies sing this song Doo dah, doo dah

Can't you see that man is a ni...

Candygram for Mongo!

Candygram for Mongo!

Candygram for Mongo!

Candygram for Mongo!

Careening through a cosmic vapour of invention.

Catch them!

Catch you later.

Charming. Sign right here.

Checkmate.

Checkmate.

Chewing gum on line, eh?

Choo choo.

Come on, boys!

Come on, I don't want to be late. That Lili von Shtupp is opening tonight.

Come on, move them through!

Come on!

Come on!

Come to eat. Keep in line.

Consider it done, stout fellow.

Could you repeat that, sir?

Cracker croaker, is going to ruin my biscuit cutter!

Cut! What in the hell do you think you're doing here?

Da hest gemacht mein entire leben.

Damn, damn, damn!

Dang, that was lucky.

Dare, dare!

De Camp Town Ladies sing this song Doo dah, doo dah

De Camp Town race track five miles long Oh, doo dah day!

De Camptown race track five miles long Oh doo dah day

Deputy Spade might turn out to be a groovy position.

Desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half wits, dimwits...

Did you hear that? Now it's "please".

Ditto!

Ditto? Ditto, you provincial putz?

Do we have the strength to carry on this mighty task in one night?

Dock that Chink a day's pay for napping on the job.

Dog damn it.

Dog gone near lost a $400 hand cart.

Don't do that now!

Don't just lay there getting a suntan.

Don't know.

Don't know. Got to do with where choo choo go.

Don't mess up. Your brother's fine.

Don't pay no attention to that alky.

Don't short change yourself, sir.

Don't worry, sir.

Down, boy. Down. Down, Mongo! Down, boy.

Drive me off this picture!

Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this ******'s head all over this town!

Du! Du, du!

Elementary, cactus head!

Especially the funeral.

Every building, every store front, every rock and every tree...

Everyone is equal in my eye.

Excellent!

Except the women folks, of course.

Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this.

Faw out!

Fertig! Fahrbalunked! Belumped! Beblungered! Fahrcocked!

For clearly stating what needed to be said.

For you.

Forgive me, I was just, ah, walking the pa****t, taking a look around.

Franky. Johnny. Patsy. Jelly.

Freeze it!

Freezing it.

From below and above

From out of the West, came the entire Sioux Nation!

From who?

Gee, I sure hope there's a happy ending. I love a happy ending.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, affairs of state must take precedent over the affairs of state.

Gentlemen, please, rest your sphincters.

Gentlemen, this...

Get on that hand car and take it down to the end of that line!

Get your rope there. Get over there quick.

Getting rid of every human being alive in that...

Give it to me, hurry.

Give me the playback. And watch me, faggots!

Go on. How about a good old ****** work song?

Go!

God dang, now we are in trouble!

Goddamn it!

Going to run all night Gwine to run all day

Gol darn it, Mr. Lamarr...

Good evening, sheriff.

Good luck, Bart, and God bless you.

Good luck, good luck, boys. Wonderful working with you. Good luck!

Good luck.

Goodbye.

Governor, as per your instructions...

Governor!

Governor? Governor.

Gum!

Gwine to run all night Gwine to run all day

H'ábn 'yr 'lẕ g'z'n 'yn dyyn l'bn?

Haley vs. United States. Haley, seven. United States, nothing.

Hands on your hips Give them a push

Hands on your hips Give them a push

Happy days!

Has anybody got a dime?

Have a cigar.

Have a drink.

Have a seat, shewiff.

Have you ever seen such cruelty?

Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that man is a ni?

Have you got it?

He always kept things nice and clean!

He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot it.

He conquered fear and he conquered hate

He conquered fear And he conquered hate

He conquered fear and he conquered hate

He made his blazing saddle

He made his blazing saddle

He rode a blazing saddle

He rode a blazing saddle

He turned our night into day

He was nothing.

He's like wet sauerkraut in my hands. By morning he will be my slave.

Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché!

Hedley!

Hell, I was born here and I was raised here...

Hello, boys, have a good night's rest? I missed you.

Hello, cowboy, what's your name?

Hello, handsome. Is that a 10 gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

Hello.

Help me in with this. Help me in with this.

Help me, help me.

Help me, somebody help me!

Here I stand, the goddess of desire

Here we take the good time and trouble...

Here, smell. Smell.

Hey, Bart! Hey!

Hey, boys!

Hey, Gabby, can you see him yet?

Hey, how are you doing Bart? Get down off that horse!

Hey, it's me. Taggart. Your old boss.

Hey, maybe you should eat something first.

Hey, the sheriff is a ni...

Hey, where are the white women at?

Hey, you can't park that animal over there!

His job to offer battle

His job to offer battle

Hold it, men. He's not bluffing.

Hold it!

Hold it!

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold the happiness. We are in trouble.

Hold up, men, we'll head them off at the pass!

Holy shit, that's too cruel!

Holy shit!

Horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers...

How about a little applause for the Waco Kid?

How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?

How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?

How is it going?

How many days do you have left, Joey?

How?

Howard Johnson is right!

Howard Johnson is right. We'll wire the governor.

Hurry up, get those flags up. He'll be here soon.

Hurry up. Speed it up or we ain't ever going to get to Rock Ridge!

Hurry. Find it. Get it. Get it. Will you look around?

Hush, Harriet. That's a sure way to get him killed.

I am depressed.

I believe in it. And if any one of you friends and neighbours, kind of gather around and...

I couldn't possibly fit him in until Monday, sir. I'm booked solid.

I didn't get a "hrumph" out of that guy!

I didn't know there was going to be so many.

I didn't know your grandma was Dutch!

I don't know how you did it.

I don't know if you ever heard of me before, but...

I don't know what it is.

I don't know. I didn't see it when I came in.

I don't want you going out there this morning.

I get no kick from champagne

I have to.

I hired you people to try to get a little track laid...

I hope this apple pie will in some small way say thank you for your...

I just don't understand it.

I just got a telegram from the governor's office.

I know how we can run everybody out of Rock Ridge.

I like ****.

I love it when you talk dirty.

I mean, the sheriff's going to do it.

I meant a song. A real song.

I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.

I must think.

I must, I must!

I must, I must!

I said, "order"!

I shall now read from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke...

I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep.

I think I better straighten myself out.

I think Mongo's taken a little fancy to you.

I think this might be a good time to mosey out...

I understand there's a new sheriff in town. Who wants to kill him?

I used to be called the Waco Kid.

I waged my money on de bob tail nag Somebody bet on the bay!

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters...

I want that land so badly, I can taste it.

I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West.

I want you to seduce and abandon the sheriff of Rock Ridge.

I was just walking down the street and I heard a voice behind me say...

I will make all the arrangements.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I'd be delighted... Wow!

I'd like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge.

I'd say you've had enough!

I'd sure appreciate it, sir, if you could find it in your heart...

I'll try to keep it as quiet as possible.

I'm about to make you an historic figure.

I'm glad those fingers ain't loaded!

I'm hip.

I'm not a rabbit I need some re...

I'm not used to public speaking.

I'm parked over by the commissary.

I'm particularly glad that these lovely children...

I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.

I'm so

I'm so tired

I'm so tired

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm tired

I'm tired Tired of playing the game

I'm...

I've been with thousands of men Again and again

I've been with thousands of men Again and again

I've got a writ here for Mongo's release signed by Hedley Lamarr himself.

I've got an idea that will slow them down to a crawl.

I've got it!

I've got to talk to you. Come here. Have you gone berserk?

I've had my fill of love

I've never met nobody like you! I can't live without you!

If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge...

If you will just sign this, governor. Right here.

Impressed?

In lieu of pay? Here you go.

In the treatment of the insane gambler.

Ingenuity and courage in defeating that horrible Mongo.

Instead of the people leaving, they're staying in droves!

Into little bitty sheriff meatballs.

Into the William J. Le Petomane Memorial Gambling Casino for the Insane.

Is Bismark a hewwing?

Is it important?

Is it, ah, twu what they say about the way you people are gifted?

Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?

Isn't it bwight in here?

It arrived last Friday.

It can't be more than 114.

It expressed a courage little seen in this day and age!

It is my privilege to extend a laurel and hearty handshake to our new...

It is?

It'll never work. It'll never work. They'll kill him dead in one day!

It's a fake!

It's a fake!

It's all right, Taggart. Just a man and a horse being hung out there.

It's down the hall and to the left.

It's Hedley. For you, my dear.

It's legal.

It's not Hedy. It's Hedley. Hedley Lamarr.

It's show time!

It's that ****** that went'n hit me on the head with the shovel!

It's twu, it's twu!

It's very crucial.

Ja, ja, ja, ja

Jim, baby.

Jim.

Just 24 hours, that's all I ask.

Just give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town.

Just like old times.

Just one more bill for you to sign, sir.

Just sign this, sir. Right here.

Just this urgent telegram from Rock Ridge.

Just watch me. It's so simple!

Just, ah, think of your secretary.

Keep the faith, brothers!

Kinky!

Last Friday?

Le Petomane Thruway! Now what will that asshole think of next?

Let me ask you something.

Let me sit down next to you.

Let's face it, I'm tired

Let's face it. Everything below the waist is kaput!

Like Hedley Lamarr interested in Rock Ridge.

Like I said. On the count of three.

Like I told you, once you establish yourself, they've got to accept you.

Like swarms of locusts they descended

Lili von who?

Listen to him, men. He's just crazy enough to do it.

Listen to me, and listen to me good.

Listen, Bart, I want you to do me a favour.

Listen, dummy, the surveyors say they may have run into some quicksand up ahead.

Listen, Mongo.

Look at that star, hoo ee! Civil service!

Look at that.

Look at this, they're buying it!

Look, Herman, I'm in Hedy Lamarr's shoes!

Louder! Speak up! We can't hear you!

Louis Pasteur has devised a new vaccine...

Lyle!

Man, that was pretty! I liked that.

Man, that's no contest. You're a mile away.

Man, why do you do that to yourself?

Maybe even get you a cabinet post.

Maybe you know why's a high roller...

Me, Mongo.

Meeting is adjourned.

Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade...

Mere alcohol Doesn't thrill me at all

Monday. Splendid.

Mongo impressed, have deep feelings for Sheriff Bart.

Mongo like candy.

Mongo no go.

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff first man ever whip Mongo.

Mongo straight.

Mongo, why would Hedley Lamarr care about where the choo choo goes?

Mongo! Santa María!

Mongo?

Morning, noon and night It's drink and dancing

Morons!

Morris!

Morris?

Moving West.

Mr. Taggart. Mr. Taggart, sir.

Muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers...

My mind is a raging torrent...

My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought...

My work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now.

Naturally, the white folks didn't let us travel in their circle...

Need any help?

Nein, nein, achtung!

Nein, nein, achtung!

Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo!

Next!

Next!

Next!

******.

No deal.

No, no, dag blame it, gol darn it, the sheriff is a ni...

No, no, you mustn't go! I need you!

No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

No, thanks. Food makes me sick.

No, we **** the shit out of them at the Number Six dance later on!

No!

No. You say that, governor.

Not in the face!

Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish...

Not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

Nothin'.

Nothing is missing. Everything is here, down to the last hitching post.

Nothing, eh? Lyle.

Nothing!

Now all we've got to do is make perfect copies of ourselves.

Now everyone be quiet...

Now go do that voodoo that you do so well!

Now is a time of great decision

Now raise your right hand for the pledge.

Now the time has come to act. And act fast!

Now what do you say?

Now what the hell do you think you're doing with that tin star, boy?

Now when I say, "go", you try to grab it first.

Now who can argue with that?

Now you men start working on the dummies. Jim and Mongo, come with me.

Now you will only be risking your lives...

Now, before the sun comes up...

Now, come on, boys, where's your spirit? I don't hear no singing.

Now, Hedley, I've always trusted your judgement before...

Now, wait a minute! Wait just one dog goned minute here!

Nowhere special.

Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.

Number Six? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

Nurse them, caress them, pour water on them.

Of course, you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you.

Of course.

Of course.

Official business, sir.

Oh, Bart!

Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard!

Oh, by the way, I got a note this morning.

Oh, come on, Mongo. You're a free man.

Oh, de Camp Town Ladies sing this song Doo dah, doo dah

Oh, dearie dear.

Oh, deary, dear. Look what the cat dragged in.

Oh, how ordinary.

Oh, I am sorry, sir. I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. You say that.

Oh, I don't know. Play chess...

Oh, it's twu, it's twu!

Oh, just let me have a little feel.

Oh, Lili, you're magnificent! Kiss me!

Oh, Lili. Lili, Lili, Lili, legs, Lili, Lili!

Oh, Lord, keep this man's eye keen...

Oh, Lordy, Lord, he's desperate! Do what he say! Do what he say!

Oh, Miss Lili, oh, my lovely lady!

Oh, not my ear! Not my ear.

Oh, shit, quicksand!

Oh, sorry gentlemen.

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Oh, thank you very much!

Oh, that uppity ****** went'n hit me on the head with a shovel.

Oh, you better watch out, big fella.

Oh, you know.

Okay, I'll send down a team of horses to check out the ground.

Okay, Jim, since you are my guest and I am your host...

Okay, Lamarr, go for your gun.

Okay, Mongo. You're free to go.

Okay.

Okay.

Olson Johnson is right!

One day is all we'll need to secure your name in the annals of Western history.

One, please.

One...

Or are we just jerking off?

Or is the world rising?

Order!

Order?

Our fathers came across the prairie...

Our town is turning into shit

Out in the middle of the prairie in the middle of the night.

Pardon me, I'll be back in a moment.

People. There's no people.

Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks.

Playback!

Please, you're making a German spectacle of yourself.

Put it down, baby. Put it...

Put your hands on both sides of it.

Qualifications?

Qualifications?

Qualifications?

Quick, Taggart. Quick!

Quicksand!

Quicksand. Quicksand. Splendid.

Randolph Scott

Randolph Scott?

****, murder, arson and ****.

Read it, read it.

Remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to take over this town?

Ribbit.

Ribbit.

Right as usual, sir.

Right down to the orange roof on Howard Johnson's outhouse.

Right, girls?

Right, so we've got to start working fast.

Right!

Rock Ridge? Hey, the rail road is going through there!

Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge. Splendid.

Round up all the lumber, canvas, paint and nails you can lay your hands on...

Say, "Goodbye."

Say, "Hello."

Screw.

See, I knew you weren't no Waco Kid. You were just pulling my lariat.

See, in another 25 years you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

See, it's coming off.

Seize them!

Send over a couple of ******s.

Send wire, main office, tell them I said, "Ow". Gotcha.

Set men on fire I have this power

She'll bring him to his knees!

She's never failed me before. She'll turn him into jelly!

Sheriff murdered, crops burned...

Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits!

Sheriff, Mongo's back! He's breaking up the whole town!

Sheriff, you can't go now. We need you.

Sherrif, Mongo's back! He's...

Shit kickers and Methodists!

Shit!

Shit.

Shit.

Shitkicker.

Show off!

Sick and tired of love

Sign here.

Sign, please.

Sir, he specifically requested two ******s...

Sir, you have the seeds of greatness in you.

Smell, boy. Yes.

So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle...

So tell me why should it be true

So they can appoint a sheriff that's blacker than any Indian!

Some get a kick from cocaine

Some quick romancing And then a shower

Son, you're on your own.

Sorry, I just remembered. I am armed.

Sorry, your Worship, but I've got two men home sick with the flu...

Sorry.

Sounds like steam escaping!

Splendid!

Stage door Johnnies constantly surround me

Stampeding cattle.

Swing low, sweet chariot

Swing low? Sweet chariot?

Take it easy, Charlie. My foot is on the rail.

Take that shovel and put her to some good use!

Taxi!

Tell me, schatzie...

Tex, ma'am.

Thank you, sir. And don't you worry.

Thank you, Van.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Much obliged. Good night.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you, Hedy. Thank you.

Thanks a lot, brother.

Thanks.

That a suitable sheriff will be found to restore the peace in Rock Ridge.

That all depends on how much Vitamin E I can get my hands on.

That got caught in a tractor's nuts!

That his very appearance would drive them out of town...

That I built with these two hands for nothing or nobody!

That I get a belt out of you?

That land will be worth millions, and I want it!

That moves within an inch of its life!

That was a close one! Daddy loves Froggie. Froggie love Daddy?

That will obliterate anthrax once and for all.

That's it. It's comin'.

That's marvellous! That's so creative!

That's not much of a crime.

That's okay. Sit down over here.

That's where we go riding into town...

The Bavarian Bombshell herself! Let's hear it for Lili von Shtupp!

The beast has failed.

The bitch was inventing the candygram.

The common clay of the new West.

The drunk in number two must be awake.

The fool's going to...

The little bastard shot me in the ass!

The little red devils, they love toys. May I try one?

The next man makes a move, the ****** gets it!

The Presidency!

The rightful owners.

The sheriff is coming!

The sheriff is near!

The sheriff will be here at noon!

The town saloon was always lively

The Waco Kid. He had the fastest hands in the West!

The way you're lollygagging around here with them picks and them shovels...

Then jump on your belly And bust your balloon

Then let us pray for the deliverance of our new sheriff.

Then maybe down that canyon. I think it's pretty level off there.

Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun

Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.

There ain't no way that nobody is going to leave this town!

There must be a way.

There must be some way of scaring them off, driving them out.

There was a peaceful town called Rock Ridge

There! Isn't that better?

There's no avoiding this conclusion

There's our ticket!

These are people of the land.

These things are defective.

They can call their own to homestead.

They darker than us!

They lose me right after the bunker scene.

They needed a man who was brave and true

They never had no kind of trouble

They promise the moon

They sing the same tune

They start with Byron and Shelley

They'll actually be destroying the fake Rock Ridge!

They're always coming and going And going and coming

They're in trouble!

They're just not going to accept you.

They've hit Buddy! Come on, girls!

Think of it, gentlemen. Hoof and mouth disease a thing of the past!

This bill will be a giant step forward...

This friggin' thing is warped.

This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her.

This is a closed set!

This is our Studio commissary where some Hollywood stars...

This morning I couldn't get the time of day. Who is this Mongo, anyway?

Three!

Through the Vatican!

Throw out your hands Stick out your tush

Throw out your hands Stick out your tush

Throw out your hands Stick out your tush

Throw something on and stay in that position.

Tired

Tired

Tired of love uninspired

Tired of playing the game

Tired of playing the game

Tired Tired of being admired

Tired!

To bad men near and far

To bad men near and far

To destroy the real Rock Ridge...

To hang him up by his neck until he was dead.

To pay heed to this good book and what it has to say.

To slaughter every last Indian in the West, and for what?

To speak the plain truth, it's getting pretty damn dull around here.

To take the West in hand

To wash up after weekly cross burning?

To where they're building the rail road...

Too *******.

Two...

Uh, student.

Unfortunately, there is one thing that stands between me and that property.

Up yours, ******!

Vhy don't you admit it? He's too much of man for you. I know.

Vill I, vill I see you later?

Vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits...

Wait a minute, that's it!

Wait a minute! There might be a legal precedent.

Wait a minute. Maybe I could turn this thing to my advantage.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She said army. Of course!

Wait a moment. What have you got in your mouth?

Wait until I get out. Okay.

Wait, wait, wait, I'm unarmed.

Wait. Back off, scamp.

Was. Yeah, I was the Kid.

Washington, Jefferson...

Watch that "boy" shit, redneck! You're talking to the sheriff of Rock Ridge.

We can't hear ourselves think!

We can't swing back to the right 'cause of that hill there.

We don't care if it's the First Act of Henry the Fifth! We're leaving!

We don't need no stinkin' badges!

We just made a perfect copy of Rock Ridge.

We must do something about this immediately, immediately, immediately!

We would snatch 200,000 acres of Indian territory...

We'll give some land to the ******s and the Chinks...

We'll kill the first born male child in every household!

We'll work up a Number Six on them!

We're going to build on this site an exact replica of the town of Rock Ridge.

We've been suckered in!

We've got to do something at once!

We've got to get in there close and find out what's happening.

We've got to protect our phony baloney jobs, gentlemen.

Welcome to Hanging House. Not to worry...

Well holy mother of pearl!

Well, back in '56...

Well, boys, the break is over.

Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?

Well, how about "De Camp Town Ladies"?

Well, I ain't going to hold my breath for it, bro.

Well, I don't have to tell you good folks...

Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away.

Well, I'm not sure. It was addressed to the Deputy Spade.

Well, if we're going to stay, and I think it's a big mistake...

Well, if you must pry.

Well, if you're the Kid, then show me something.

Well, it got so that every piss ant prairie punk...

Well, just don't sit there looking stupid, grasping your hands in pain.

Well, let's play chess.

Well, let's see. Where were we?

Well, look, damn your eyes, look for it!

Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who". He's more of a "what".