Blazing Saddles (1974) Soundboard Edit

A box of these

A cabinet post! yes did you say that I said that wonderful!

A hrumph! a hrumph! a hrumph!

A little further down to the right

A man drink like that and he don't eat he is going to die

A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to die.

A pack of murderers and thieves

A plan we need a plan

A sheriff! but law and order is the last thing I want

A wed wose how womantic!

Action! okay oh wait until I get out wait until I get out okay

Ah good morning ma'am and isn't it a lovely morning

Ah prairie shit! everybody!

Ah that was a very good suggestion thank you all right

Ah well okay

Ah you know

Ah, prairie shit! Everybody!

Ahh I feel wefweshed!

Ain't it a friggin' shame?

All my plans have backfired!

All right all right

All right boys on the count of three

All right cut!

All right folks I know you're a bit confused wondering what you're doing out in the middle of the prairie in the middle of the night

All right help me in with this help me in with this

All right here have a cigar

All right here we go hold your ears folks! it's show time!

All right i'm through being mr goodbar!

All right let's go!

All right sheriff 24 hours

All right we'll settle it like men with our fists

All right, boys. On the count of three.

All right, let's go!

All right, mr. Taggart.

All right!

All right! we'll give some land to the ******s and the chinks but we don't want the irish!

Always like to keep my audience riveted

Am I wrong or is the world rising

An army of the worst dregs ever to soil the face of the west!

And a whapping and a whooping every living thing...

And all at once the trouble started a pack of murderers and thieves like swarms of locusts they descended their aim to make the townsfolk flee

And all they ask in return is a little plot of land they can call their own to homestead

And don't you worry we'll make rock ridge think it's a chicken that got caught in a tractor's nuts!

And i'm not giving up my ice cream parlor that I built with these two hands for nothing or nobody!

And I'm not giving up my ice cream parlour...

And let me tell you baby they were open for business!

And let me tell you, baby, they were open for business!

And meet me tonight 3 miles due east of rock ridge at midnight

And meet me tonight 3 miles due east of Rock Ridge at midnight.

And no sidewinder bushwhacking hornswoggling cracker croaker is going to ruin my biscuit cutter!

And now folks the gal you've all been waiting for the bavarian bombshell herself! let's hear it for lili von shtupp!

And now for my next impression jesse owens!

And now we'll go to the special effects department

And one for miss stein my beloved secretary

And repeat after me I i your name your name

And right here mr lamarr is where we ran into quicksand

And so the railroad has got to go through rock ridge

And the rest is history

And they probably won't give me credit for it

And they say that now in paris france even as we speak louis pasteur has devised a new vaccine that will obliterate anthrax once and for all

And they were right!

And to get for you a nomination for, dare I say..

And to the evil and to the evil

And tomorrow when hedley lamarr and his men come riding in to destroy the real rock ridge

Any minute now they're going to discover the town is fake and pull out!

Anyway that's all ancient history now you tell me your story

Anyway when you hear the word go you just try to grab it

Anyway, that's all ancient history. Now you tell me your story.

Are we awake we're not sure

Are we black yes we are

Are we to stay or up and quit?

Are you crazy they'll never go for it and then again they might

As attorney general I can assure you that a suitable sheriff will be found to restore the peace in rock ridge

As chairman of the welcoming committee it is my privilege to extend a laurel and hearty handshake to our new ******

As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee it is my privilege to extend to you a laurel and hearty handshake!

As she reads a telegram that she herself has composed to the governor expressing our feelings about the new sheriff

As your spiritual leader I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to say

Auf wiedersehen baby

Auf wiedersehen take off

Baby please I am not from havana

Back up off your brother! don't mess up your brother! don't mess up your brother's fine

Bad news

Bad news.

Badges we don't need no stinkin' badges!

Badges?

Be ready to attack rock ridge at noon tomorrow here's your badge

Be seated.

Be sitten

Be still taggart be still yes sir

Be still taggart yes sir

Be with you in a minute

Beauty yes of course

Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson

Behind the bar stood anal johnson he always kept things nice and clean!

Besides i'm late for work i've got some heavy chores to do

Better check it out.

Bitte baby

Boy is he strict!

Bullshit what's the job

But as you can see this one is a doozey

But never nasty or obscene

But they'll be here in half an hour right so we've got to start working fast

But we're going to die bart they're going to leave us here to die!

But where would I find such a man

By the power vested in me by the honorable william j le petomane

Camp town race track five miles long oh doo dah day

Camptown ladies sing this song doo dah doo dah de camptown race track five miles long oh doo dah day

Can't you see she's sick

Can't you see that man is a ni

Candygram for mongo!

Candygram for mongo! (2)

Candygram for mongo! candygram for mongo!

Cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

Catch you later

Charming sign right here

Choo choo I think this might be a good time to mosey out to where they're building the rail road and maybe do a little snooping

Clumsy fool! i'm sorry

Come on boys!

Come on I don't want to be late that lili von shtupp is opening tonight lili von who

Come on lamarr let's get down to bwass tacks what do you want me to do

Come on let's check out the end of the flick

Come on, Lamarr, let's get down to bwass tacks.

Come on, let's check out the end of the flick.

Come on!

Consider it done stout fellow

Cop a walk it's all right

Cop a walk. It's all right.

Could you repeat that sir

Cut! what in the hell do you think you're doing here

Daddy loves froggie froggie love daddy

Damn damn damn!

Dang that was lucky

De camp town ladies sing this song doo dah doo dah de camp town race track five miles long all the doo dah day!

Deputy spade might turn out to be a groovy position

Did you hear that now it's please this morning I couldn't get the time of day

Ditto ditto you provincial putz!

Ditto!

Dock that chink a day's pay for napping on the job

Dog damn it

Doggone near lost a 400 dollar hand cart

Don't do that now! uh uh baby come on don't do that! I have to

Don't know got to do with where choo choo go

Don't know mongo only pawn in game of life

Don't know that one huh

Don't know that one, huh?

Don't pay no attention to that alky he can't even hold a gun much less shoot it

Don't worry sir

Down boy down down mongo! down boy

Dr samuel johnson is right about olson johnson's being right

Dr. Samuel Johnson is right about Olson Johnson's being right.

Drop it! or I swear i'll blow this ******'s head all over this town!

Du! du du!

Elementary cactus head!

Every building every store front every rock and every tree right down to the orange roof on howard johnson's outhouse

Excuse me honey

Excuse me mr taggart sir but I sure do hate to see you like this

Excuse me while I whip this out

Excuse me while I whip this out

Excuse me, honey.

Expressing our feelings about the new sheriff.

Faw out!

Flooded with rivulets of thought...

For Best Supporting Actor

For which he stands! for which he stands!

For you

For you my dear oh how ordinary

Forgive me I was just ah walking the pa****t taking a look around what can I do for you

Forgive me lord!

Forgive me, Lord!

Fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix!

Four score and seven years ago our forefathers brought forth on this

Franky johnny patsy jelly

Freeze it!

Freezing it

Gee I sure hope there's a happy ending I love a happy ending

Gentlemen gentlemen affairs of state must take precedent over the affairs of state

Gentlemen gentlemen let us not allow anger to rule the day

Gentlemen please rest your sphincters

Gentlemen this this bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler

Gentlemen, gentlemen, let us not allow anger to rule the day.

Get down off that horse!

Get on that hand car and take it down to the end of that line!

Get your pies for the great pie fight!

Get your pies for the great pie fight!

Get your rope there get over there quick

Give me the playback and watch me faggots!

Give the governor a "hrumph".

Give the governor a hrumph

Go!

Goddamn it, I'm exhausted!

Goddang now we are in trouble!

Going to run all night going to run all day

Gol darn it mr lamarr

Gonna run all night gonna run all day bet my money on the bobtailed nag somebody bet on the bay!

Good evening sheriff

Good luck

Good luck bart and god bless you

Good luck good luck boys wonderful working with you good luck!

Good night

Good night.

Got him locked up downstairs

Got him locked up downstairs

Governor as per your instructions i'd like you to meet the new sheriff of rock ridge

Governor may I disturb you for a moment sir if you will just sign this governor right here

Gum! chewing gum on line eh

Gwine to run all night Gwine to run all day

Hail to the chief! hail to the chief!

Hail to the Chief! Hail to the Chief!

Haley vs united states haley seven united states nothing

Hands on your hips Give them a push

Happy days!

Has anybody got a dime

Have a drink thanks

Have a seat shewiff

Have you ever seen such cruelty

Have you gone berserk can't you see that man is a ni

Have you got it yessssssss

He conquered fear and he conquered hate he turned our night into day

He conquered fear and he conquered hate he turned our night into day (2)

He conquered fear and he conquered hate he turned our night into day (3)

He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way

He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way (2)

He rode a blazing saddle he wore a shining star

He rode a blazing saddle he wore a shining star (2)

He turned our night into day

He was nothing

He wore a shining star

He wore a shining star

He's like wet sauerkraut in my hands by morning he will be my slave

Head them off at the pass I hate that cliche!

Hedley lamarr why would a dude like hedley lamarr care about mongo

Hedley Lamarr?

Hell I was born here and I was raised here and goddamn it i'm going to die here!

Hello boys have a good night's rest I missed you

Hello cowboy what's your name tex ma'am