Main Content
Sound Added to Your Favorites Soundboard

Log in or create an account to save your favorites, or they'll expire in 24 hours

Error Adding Sound
Error adding sound to your favorites.
Sound Reported
Sound reported and our moderators will review it shortly.
Error Reporting Sound
Error reporting sound. Please use the Contact page.
Home > Home Alone (1990) Soundboard
10,393 87,377
Home Alone (1990) Soundboard

Home Alone (1990) Soundboard

Home Alone is a beloved Christmas comedy film that was released in 1990. Directed by Chris Columbus, this family-friendly movie has become a holiday classic and has captured the hearts of audiences worldwide. Filled with laughter, adventure, and heartwarming moments, Home Alone continues to be an enjoyable film for all ages.

The film revolves around the character of Kevin McCallister, played by the talented child actor Macaulay Culkin. Kevin is an eight-year-old boy who is accidentally left behind when his family goes on a Christmas vacation to Paris. Initially, Kevin relishes in the freedom and independence of being home alone, but he soon finds himself having to defend his house against two dim-witted burglars.

The iconic portrayals of Harry and Marv, the hapless thieves, are brought to life by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern respectively. Pesci and Stern's flawless comedic timing and chemistry make their characters both hilarious and memorable. The duo's attempts to break into Kevin's home, only to be thwarted by the resourceful young boy, provide countless laugh-out-loud moments throughout the film.

The family dynamics and the lessons of the importance of family are beautifully portrayed in Home Alone. Catherine O'Hara and John Heard portray Kevin's loving yet forgetful parents, Kate and Peter. Despite the chaos that ensues after forgetting Kevin at home, their unconditional love for their son shines through as they desperately try to find a way back to him. The film also showcases the relationship between siblings, with Kevin's older brother Buzz, played by Devin Ratray, often serving as an antagonist but ultimately becoming a supportive and protective figure.

In addition to the outstanding performances by the main cast, Home Alone boasts a delightful supporting cast. John Candy appears as Gus Polinski, a friendly and humorous polka band member who befriends Kate on her journey to reunite with Kevin. Candy's charismatic presence and comedic skills elevate the film and provide additional entertainment for viewers.

Furthermore, Home Alone features a memorable and heartwarming musical score composed by John Williams. The soundtrack perfectly captures the spirit of the film, with its whimsical melodies and festive tunes evoking feelings of joy and holiday cheer. From the iconic "Somewhere in My Memory" to the lively rendition of "Carol of the Bells," the music of Home Alone adds an extra layer of magic to this timeless Christmas movie.

If you're a fan of Home Alone and want to relive the nostalgia, you can easily find and enjoy the sounds from this classic film. By visiting popular online platforms or music streaming services, you can play and download the original soundtrack, which will transport you back to the heartwarming and comedic moments of the movie. Whether it's the joyful and catchy tunes or the memorable Christmas melodies, listening to the Home Alone soundtrack is the perfect way to celebrate the holiday season with your loved ones.

In conclusion, Home Alone remains a beloved Christmas film that continues to captivate audiences of all ages. With its brilliant cast, hilarious storyline, and unforgettable soundtrack, this 1990 classic has earned its place in cinematic history. Whether you've seen it multiple times or are discovering it for the first time, Home Alone is sure to bring laughter, joy, and a warm sense of holiday spirit.

A house with this many people there's no shampoo
A lovely cheese pizza just for me
A ride to chicago sure you know it's christmastime
Acey said ten percent
Ah you're all right I love you you okay yeah
Ah! I got ya! I got ya!
All kids no parents probably a fancy orphanage
All right johnny but what about my money
All right johnny but what about my money what money acey said you had some dough for me
All right johnny i'm sorry i'm goin'
All right johnny i'm sorry i'm goin' (2)
All right! buzz's life savings
All right! Buzz's life savings.
All this time i've been worrying about it but if you turn on the lights it's no big deal
Allow me to introduce myself gus polinski how are you
Am I under arrest or something
And children listen
And don't worry about your home it's in good hands
And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike if it costs me everything I own if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself I am going to get home to my son
And I know I heard that name snakes before
And my aunt and my cousins.
And now that i'm this close you're telling me it's hopeless i'm sorry
And that's the one marvin that's the silver tuna
And there he was apparently he was there alone all day with a corpse oh! whew yeah
And there he was. Apparently he was there alone all day with a corpse.
And we're off when do you leave tomorrow
Any luck no we couldn't get anybody
Anyway i'm rambling on here
Anyways uh I had a few hits a few years ago uh that's why you know
Are those microwave dinners any good I don't know i'll give 'em a whirl
Are you feeling bad about yourself no
Are you here all by yourself
Are you okay honey come here are you all right
At least you'll know then you could stop worrying about it and you won't have to be afraid anymore
Attention! attention! look what I have found in ze kitchen!
Aw geez if you have to get to chicago we'll gladly drive you it's on the way to milwaukee
Aw shut up will ya!
Back in '58 he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block with a snow shovel
Basements are like that
Be a good little fella now and open the door
Because I really like my family even though sometimes I say I don't sometimes I even think I don't do you get that I think so
Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since
Big fella!
Black with a little cream.
Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale amen
Bombs away!
Bring me back something French.
But he's okay you know they get over it kids are resilient like that
But he's so little and helpless don't you think he's flipped out
But I also know that you work for him and i'd like you to give him a message shoot
But I got it all figured out watch this
But the phone lines are a mess gonna take ma bell a couple of days to patch 'em up especially around the holidays okay thanks
But they got nude beaches not in the winter
Buzz buzz buzz
Buzz don't be a moron
Buzz forget it this is not the kevin I knew
Buzz i'm going through all your private stuff! you better come out and pound me!
Buzz your girlfriend! woof!
Bye i'll miss you bye find kevin
C'est tout decide je sais ce que j'ai a dire c'est non non! en aucun cas!
Call me in paris
Can I sleep in your room I don't want to sleep in the hide a bed with fuller
Can you please find out
Champagne please it's free isn't it oh yes
Cheapskate
Check it out all the houses with nobody home have automatic timers on their lights
Check it out old man marley
Chuck this is peter mccallister again and we're still in paris at my brother's apartment
Come and get me before I call the police!
Come back here!
Come back here! stop it will ya! come here!
Come on dad let's eat come on
Come on kevin out
Come on let's get you home
Come on out the window yeah i'm not goin' out the window
Come on they're boarding
Come on this happens these things happen you know you
Come on you guys it's christmas
Come on! come on keep goin' keep goin'
Cool! firecrackers! i'll save these for later
Couldn't help but hearin' you got a little bit of a dilemma there
Dad can you come here and help me
Dad nobody'll let me do anything
Damn! how low can you get givin' kris kringle a parking ticket on christmas eve
Dear santa claus I got a little sister last year this year i'd rather have some clay dough
Deep down you always love 'em but you can forget that you love 'em and you can hurt them and they can hurt you and that's not just because you're young
Did anyone order me a plain cheese oh yeah we did but if you want any somebody's gonna have to barf it all up 'cause it's gone
Did I burn down the joint I don't think so
Did I get him did I get him where is it where is it
Did I turn off the coffee no I did
Did they come back from paris
Did you close the garage that's it I forgot to close the garage that's it
Did you get anybody
Did you hear me i'm livin' alone! i'm livin' alone!
Did you hear me? I'm livin' alone!
Did you lock up yeah
Didn't we talk about that
Do these vans get good gas mileage
Do you know is this toothbrush approved by the american dental association I don't know
Do you know the mccallisters are going to france do you know if it's cold there
Do you know what I should pack buzz told you cheek face toilet paper and water
Do you know where the shampoo is fuller
Do you need the phone number no that's all right
Do you play you want to try it go ahead try it try it try it no okay
Do you play?
Don't be silly fuller will be up in a little while
Don't spoil your dinner I won't thanks
Don't tell me what to do I can do it if I want to
Don't worry about me I spoke to your husband already
Don't worry marv i'll get him for you
Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.
Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with the kids back in coach no the kids are fine
Don't you get lost good bye good bye kate
Don't you know how to knock phlegm wad
Down here you big horse's ass!
Eddie let's just hope none of them write a book about him
Eggnog listen are you gonna be leaving uh
Especially around the holidays.
Ever since I laid eyes on that house I wanted it
Everyone in this family hates me then maybe you should ask santa for a new family
Everything's full everything's full i'm very sorry but it is christmas eve
Everything's full?
Everything's full.
Excellent excellent
Excuse me can you excuse us for a second can I see you for a second please excuse us come
Excuse me girls girls
Excuse me miss are your parents here
Excuse me puke breath i'm a lot smaller than you I don't know how to pack a suitcase
Excuse me yeah
Family crisis intervention sergeant balzak
Family Crisis Intervention. Sergeant Balzak.
Fasten your seat belts please
Find Kevin.
Fine we'll put him somewhere else
Five boys six girls four parents two drivers and a partridge in a pear tree
Five families gone on one block alone they all told me from their own mouths
For the kids
Forget it frank we have cash
Frank those are for later frank
Frank you've got money don't you come on traveler's checks
Friday morning that's two days away
From a mother to a mother, please.
Fuller! go easy on the pepsi
Gee kid I don't know hit the road
Gee you wanna talk about bad parents look at look at us
Get over here!
Get some change out of here call everybody you know
Get that kid! go on! get the kid!
Get that little
Get the hell outta here
Give us the phone! thank you i'm sorry thank you
Go ahead i'm in your way you have places to go people to see
Go back! go back! go back okay
Go pack your suitcase
Goin' on vacation where you goin' do you hear me or what goin' on a trip where you goin' kid
Goin' on vacation? Where you goin'?
Grab your crowbar crowbars up
Grab your crowbar.
Grab yourself a napkin you're gonna have to pour your own drinks
Grow a goatee
Guys i'm eating junk and watching rubbish! you better come out and stop me!
Hang up the phone and make me why don't ya
Harry it's our calling card all the great ones leave their mark
Harry! i'm comin' in!
Has he been involved in a household accident I don't know I don't I hope not
Has the child been involved in a violent altercation with a drunken and or mentally ill member of his immediate family no
Has the child ingested any poison and or any other object that has become lodged in his throat
Have a good trip bring me back something french
Having a reunion or something
He just ate a whole load of mice guts he should be good for a couple weeks
He just ate a whole load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks.
He knows I hate sausage and olives and
He said the same and we haven't spoken to each other since
He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since.
He started it! he ate my pizza on purpose
He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun
He was okay you know after six seven weeks you know he came around and started talking again
He'll call you when he gets out
He's acted like a jerk once too many times and this time he caught it in the butt
He's getting in his car I guess if you hurry you can catch him
He's giving us this trip to paris so we can be together
He's gonna call the cops! he's not callin' the from a tree house
He's gonna rent us a nice big uh van and we're gonna drive to milwaukee
He's home alone
He's home alone.
He's just being a jerk
He's only a kid harry we can take him
He's upstairs taking a bath he'll call you when he gets out
Heads up! huh
Heather do a head count make sure everyone's in the vans
Heather! did you count heads eleven including me
Hello
Hello hello
Hello hello hello she'll have to call you back
Hello kevin!
Hello mom dad
Help me out here! let's get these passports out of here
Herb! yeah i've got a question here about a toothbrush
Here are your seats five a and b four a and b i'll take your coats thank you
Here hold out your little paw there there you go
Here! here's a voltage adapter
Hey come on come on hands off the head pal! come on!
Hey guys check this out
Hey harry yeah house we were at last night was that the mccallisters yeah
Hey hey big fella
Hey hey hey! get off kevin out of the room
Hey hey little fella hey!
Hey hey! you gotta watch out for traffic son you know sorry damn
Hey I tell you what i'm gonna give you snakes
Hey I tell you what i'm gonna give you snakes (2)
Hey i'm calling the cops
Hey i'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead one two ten!
Hey kev it's pretty cool that you didn't burn the place down
Hey listen uh
Hey marv marv marv what look at this
Hey nice shoes oh thanks
Hey pizza's here! here you go that's 122 50
Hey watch out!
Hey you know we've been looking for you two guys for a long time
Hey! don't you dare
Hey! hey hey hey! little guy little guy!
Hey! hey kid! come back here!
Hey! hey! shoplifter!
Hey! i'm not afraid anymore! I said i'm not afraid anymore! do you hear me i'm not afraid anymore!
Hey. Hey! You gotta watch out for traffic, son, you know?
Hi hey son! son!
Hi hi are you mr mccallister yeah the mr mccallister who lives here yes
Hi i'm mitch murphy I live across the street
Hi look i'm calling from paris I have a son who's home alone
Hi ma'am it's you again
Hi ma'am! excuse me ma'am! excuse me ma'am! ma'am!
Hi mom
Hi there hiya
Hi you've reached the murphys please leave a message after you hear the beep
Hi! hi! are your parents home yeah do they live here no
Hi. Look, I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone.
Hiya pal we outsmarted you this time
Hold it hold it let's wait and see who it is we work this neighborhood too yeah
Hold on I got a coupon for that it was in the paper this morning
Hold the plane! did we miss the flight no you just made it
Honey the pizza boy needs $122 50 plus a tip for pizza ten pizzas times 12 bucks
Honey what's this
Honey, what's this?
Hope we didn't forget anything
How am I supposed to shave in france
How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas
How could we do this we forgot him
How do you know I don't know i'm just afraid he won't
How do you know?
How do you wanna go in we'll go to the back door maybe he'll let us in you never know
How do you wanna go in?
How fast does this thing go does it have automatic transmission does it have four wheel drive
How fast does this thing go?
How may I help you
How old is he oh he's grown up
How you feel about your family is a complicated thing especially with an older brother
How you kids doin' huh good lot of action around here today huh
Huh
I also have a ring that is beautiful!
I am calling from paris I have a son who's home alone
I am calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone.
I am trying to get home to my eight year old son!
I came to hear my granddaughter sing and I can't come and hear her tonight
I can do it if I want to
I can get you a hotel room
I can't believe you can't bump somebody or ask somebody
I can't find anybody they've all gone shopping nobody's home for the holidays
I can't find anybody. They've all gone shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays.
I can't seem to find my toothbrush so i'll pick one up when I go out today
I can't wait that long
I didn't fall asleep in the back of the cab and drool all over you did I i don't drool
I didn't mean it if you come back i'll never be a pain in the butt again I promise good night
I don't care how mad I was i'd talk to my dad especially around the holidays
I don't get it I mean right now it looks like there's nobody home
I don't know
I don't know how to pack a suitcase i've never done this once in my whole life tough
I don't know who's in there but somebody just got blown away!
I don't know who's in there, but somebody just got blown away!
I don't know.
I don't like the way that kid looked at me did you see that
I don't live here
I don't think that's a good idea
I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! families suck!
I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life and I don't want to see anybody else either
I don't want to sleep with fuller you know about him he wets the bed he'll pee all over me I know it
I get a window seat!
I get a window seat!
I got him harry! harry I got him! harry get up! give me a hand! ow! I got him! harry help me! get up! I got him!
I got some milk eggs and fabric softener
I gotta take a head count one two three four five eleven 92 12
I had an argument with my son.
I have a friend who got nailed 'cause there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas
I have a terrible feeling about what that we didn't do something
I have been from chicago to paris to dallas to where the hell am I scranton
I heard you had some problems here uh gettin' to chicago to see your kid or somethin'
I hope I never see any of you jerks again
I hope you didn't just pack crap jeff shut up linnie
I hope you don't mean that
I hope you don't mean that.
I hope you're all drinking milk I want to get rid of it
I made my family disappear
I made my family disappear (2)
I mean we're on the road 48 49 weeks out of the year we hardly see our families
I mean, we're on the road 48, 49 weeks out of the year. We hardly see our families.
I said, I'm not afraid anymore!
I saw a hundred kids this week
I say we go to rob's we can call the police and they can get back to us
I send her a check
I think we're gettin' scammed by a kindygartener
I thought I recognized one of their voices
I thought the murphys went to florida
I thought you said they were gone they were supposed to leave this morning let's get out of here
I told you something's wrong I knew he looked at me weird why would he run
I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap including all my major crevices including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed
I warn you I ought to take this cane and
I was making ornaments out of fishhooks my new fishhooks I can't make ornaments out of the old ones with dry worm guts stuck on 'em
I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just washed shine
I went shopping yesterday
I wish my grandparents sent that they always send me clothes
I wish they would all just disappear
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass
I'd like a word with you sir
I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can maybe or shove a nail through his foot
I'll rip his head off!
I'm a bad parent i'm a bad parent you're not
I'm a criminal
I'm afraid if I call him, he won't talk to me.
I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone, and I
I'm desperate i'm begging you from a mother to a mother please
I'm dreaming of a white christmas just like the ones I used to know
I'm free! free! free!
I'm gonna bite off every one of these little fingers one at a time
I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead
I'm gonna kill that kid!
I'm kevin mccallister 671 lincoln boulevard
I'm looking for my son! do you know where he is
I'm not an idiot!
I'm not sick yes you are i'm not sick! that's a sick thing to do!
I'm old enough to know how it works all right
I'm sorry but there's no way I can do that
I'm sorry did you say you could help me
I'm sorry it's too late get upstairs
I'm sure she misses you and the presents
I'm terribly sorry I thought you were our santa claus
I'm terribly sorry ma'am but we're doing absolutely everything we can
I'm the only one getting dumped on
I'm up here you morons! come and get me!
I've been kind of a pain lately I said some things I shouldn't have I really haven't been too good this year i'm kind of upset about it
I've got something for you to do.
If he has something to drink he'll wet the bed
If he has something to drink he's gonna wet the bed
If it makes you feel any better I forgot my reading glasses
If you don't mind goin' with some polka bums no i'd love to
If you don't mind goin' with some polka bums.
If you explained this is an emergency I wish I could
If you make it quick. Santa's got a little get together he's late for.
If you miss him why don't you call him i'm afraid if I call him he won't talk to me
If you want to stay at the airport maybe we can get you on a standby it is a possibility that a seat will open up
If you'll excuse me this one's out of sorts i'll be right back
Il est inutile d'attendre 24 heures et je n'ai aucun conseil a demander
In chicago no sheboygan very big in sheboygan they loved it you know
Is he still here it's really important that I see him
Is it true that french babes don't shave their pits some don't
Is that a fact how much do I owe you
Is that a fact how much do I owe you (2)
Is that a fact how much do I owe you acey said ten percent
Is that a real rolex do you think it is no but who can tell
Is that okay yes i'll wait
Is there I mean est ce qui un person qui parle anglais la
Is this a joke
Is this toothbrush approved by the american dental association
Isn't there a way if you ask somebody
Isn't there a way if you ask somebody?
It is a possibility that a seat will open up.
It was nice talking to you nice talking to you
It's a gem
It's almost too easy
It's almost too easy.
It's horrible horrible just horrible
It's horrible. Horrible. Just horrible.
It's loaded it's got lots of topflight goods stereos vcr's toys
It's me snakes I got the stuff
It's my brother's house he'll take care of it
It's not a family crisis hold on
It's not even rated r
It's only my imagination only my imagination
It's too late for you kid we're already in the house we're gonna get you!
Jimmy! stop that boy!
Julia get some black coffee and plenty of it black with a little cream
Just give it a shot for your granddaughter anyway
Just stay up there I don't want to see you for the rest of the night
Just tell him that oh hon you pay for that here
Kate did you by any chance pick up a voltage adapter thing
Keep the change ya filthy animal
Keep the change ya filthy animal (2)
Keep the change ya filthy animal (3)
Kev! kevin get a plate
Kevin get off of him!
Kevin get upstairs right now why kevin you're such a disease
Kevin i'm going to feed you to my tarantula
Kevin i'm on the phone
Kevin if uncle frank says no then it must be really bad
Kevin is home all by himself i'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane
Kevin kevin!
Kevin upstairs! say good night kevin good night kevin
Kevin you are such a disease
Kevin you're completely helpless
Kevin!
Kevin! kevin kevin my boy! kevin how are ya
Kevin's at home
Larry can you pick up there's some lady on hold sounds kind of hyper what line rose uh two
Last night the place is jumpin'
Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it
Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here
Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here okay
Leslie i'm sorry kate nothing but a bunch of answering machines
Let me connect you with family crisis intervention
Let me connect you with the police department they just transferred me to you
Let me connect you with the police department.
Let me give you the number here okay the country code is 3 3 the area code is 1 4 and the number is 694 8764
Let's get him! wait wait that's just what he wants us to do us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up
Let's get out of here
Let's go back harry shut up!
Let's see what house he goes into
Line up in front off the van line up and shut up! shut up
Linnie
Listen kev what are you so worried about you know mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway
Look honey the kids are exhausted you are exhausted
Look I have been awake for almost 60 hours i'm tired and i'm dirty
Look I told you before kid don't bother me now beat it
Look out!
Look that house is the only reason we started workin' this block in the first place
Look what you did you little jerk
Look what you did you little jerk!
Ma'am i'm eight years old you think I would be here alone I don't think so
Ma'am if there was anything at all I could do for you today do it do anything
Ma'am ma'am what excuse me I just wanted to let you know that your power's fixed
Ma'am, if I
Madame we are doing everything we can
Marv! harry
Maybe he went in the church i'm not goin' in there me neither ah let's get out of here
Maybe he's just trying to be nice
Maybe we shouldn't talk about this
Megan
Megan (2)
Merry christmas huh may I sit down
Merry christmas little fella we know that you're in there and that you're all alone
Merry christmas merry christmas
Merry christmas sweetheart
Merry Christmas, little fella.
Mes petits enfants do you want a little shrimp eh
Miss young lady excuse me girls
Mom
Mom dad where are you guys
Mom does santa claus have to go through customs
Mom mom mom
Mom where are you
Mom!
Mom! uncle frank won't let me watch the movie but the big kids can why can't i
Mom's at the airport
Montreal uh huh that's right her family's there
My husband's brother transferred to paris last summer and his kids are still going to school here and I guess he missed the whole family
My parents live in paris sorry
Never mind did you get it! how do you like it huh you jerk!
Never mind forget it this is so pointless
Nice move always leaving the water running now we know each and every house that you've hit
Nice tip thanks a lot thanks
No clothes on anybody sickening!
No for three reasons a i'm not that lucky two we have smoke detectors and d
No he's just home alone! I would like somebody to go over to the house and see that he's all right just to check on him
No I didn't have time to do that
No i'm not welcome at church oh you're always welcome at church i'm not welcome with my son
No i'm not! yes you are i'm not not not you are so
No no it's christmastime there's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays
No no no don't be silly everybody who sees santa has gotta get somethin'
No no no no no way this is christmas! the season of perpetual hope!
No offense but aren't you a little old to be afraid
No please don't hang up please don't
No that's not it what else could we be forgetting
No that's okay I thought you might've recognized
No toys nothing but peter kate buzz megan linnie and jeff and my aunt and my cousins and if he has time my uncle frank okay
No way
No we're not bringing the dog
No why should they
No, that's not it.
No, we're not bringing the dog. We're putting him
No? "Twin Lakes Polka."
Non attendez un peu
Not enough evidence to convict they never found the bodies but everyone around here knows he did it
Not for me kid I don't live here
Not in the winter.
Nothing available may I help you get a hotel room in the city
Now get upstairs I am upstairs dummy
Now it'll just be a matter of time before he does it again
Now no tomorrow egghead now! go ahead! now !
Now you're dead!
Number 664 will be going on right about now
Number 672 right now
Odd marketable securities. Who knows?
Oh baby they couldn't come they wanted to so much but
Oh boy that's it you little you little son of a
Oh ed please oh all right
Oh god you're getting heavy
Oh good 'cause somebody owes me 122 50
Oh i'm sorry this house is just crazy we've got all these extra kids running around my brother in law drove in from ohio today it's just nuts
Oh it's crazy
Oh it's very g very g huh
Oh kevin i'm so sorry
Oh leslie here's my address book you and frank call everybody who lives on our street maybe somebody can help us
Oh no i'm really scared!
Oh no oh thank you merry christmas merry christmas
Oh no you feel that way because we left in such a hurry
Oh not this time you little brat
Oh really you're completely helpless! everyone has to do everything for you
Oh that's nice not for a guy in the second grade
Oh this kid
Oh wait wait wait wait wait wait
Oh we took the morning flight remember the one you didn't want to wait for
Oh yeah well we have automatic timers for our lights locks for our doors
Oh you just around for the holidays I guess you could say that
Oh, no, you feel that way because we left in such a hurry.
Oh! what is it you're missin' some teeth where it's my gold tooth my gold tooth! i'll kill him! i'll kill him!
Okay come and get me
Okay half in this van half in this van come on let's go
Okay I know you're not the real santa claus
Okay i'll see what I can do thanks
Okay okay merry christmas
Okay okay we'll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son
Okay that's 122 50
Okay this is extremely important
Okay we'll check it out first we can always come back for the truck
Okay. This is extremely important.
One two ten!
One two ten! (shoots machine gun)
Only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon and it wasn't to france
Oper do you speak english parlez anglais
Other than that i'm in good shape
Our flight was canceled so we gotta drive
Our phones are out of order so i'd like somebody to go to our house and tell him we're coming home to get him
Ow!
P s you have to sleep on the hide a bed with fuller
Pack my suitcase
Pardon me are your parents home yeah but they don't live here
Pete's brother and his family are here
Peter
Peter i'm gonna call the police why don't you book us a flight home
Peter kate do you guys have a voltage adapter
Peter! we slept in!
Pizza!
Please! our brother's home alone
Plus a ring a watch a pocket translator 500 dollars and
Polka king of the midwest
Polka polka polka no twin lakes polka yamahoozie polka a k a kiss me polka polka twist
Probably lookin' at some very fine jewelry possible cash hoard odd marketable securities who knows
Remember that kid we saw the other day he lives here
Rod
Rose yeah hyper on two hold on please
Santa hold on! can I talk to you for a minute if you make it quick santa's got a little get together he's late for
Santy don't visit the funeral homes little buddy
See that garbage can full of salt that's where he keeps his victims the salt turns the bodies into mummies
She's got her own earrings a whole shoe box full of' em dangley ones come on come on no but
She's right kev
Shit
Shut it marv!
Shut up
Shut up (2)
Shut up! get in the car!
Silver tuna tonight
Single seats only in coach take whatever's free thank you
Six seven eight nine 10 11
Snakes he sounded like a snake
Snakes snakes snakes I don't know no snakes snakes
So let's take it one step at a time okay
So uh see the guy in the yellow jacket over there by the budget sign
So we have the 500 dollars the pocket translator the two first class seats that's an upgrade from your coach
So you're not at all worried about kevin why should I be
Somebody beat us to the job they're in there! two of' em
Somebody pick up pick up!
Somebody's gonna have to barf it all up, 'cause it's gone.
Someone has to find an open store we don't have milk
Somethin' ain't right go check it out
Somethin' ain't right. Go check it out.
Son! Hey!
Supposin' the cops finger us for a job and they start asking us questions about a murder in the area
Sure. You know, it's Christmas time.
Take the witches!
Tell 'em to count their kids again
Tell me have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home no but I did leave one at a funeral parlor once
Thank you
Thank you oh thank you
Thanks buzz
That smart aleck
That sort of thing it's bothered me for years
That's a good idea of course it's a good idea
That's a relief everything here is booked
That's about as well as anybody can do these days right
That's about as well as anybody can do these days.
That's it! that's it! i'm goin' around the front! you go down the basement! that little
That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.
That's just what he wants us to do
That's my granddaughter up there the little red haired girl she's about your age do you know her no
That's real crystal it's real yeah so put 'em in your purse put 'em! put 'em! I can't do that put them in your purse!
That's true i've always been afraid of our basement it's dark there's weird stuff down there and it smells funny
That's what megan said
The captain's doing all he can your phones are still out of order
The cars are still here they didn't go to the airport
The dope was whining about a suitcase
The earrings you love the earrings
The kenosha kickers
The kids are okay they're having the time of their lives yeah
The little jerk is armed!
The little jerk is armed!
The little trout can use a couple of days in the real world
The only thing they have is a booking for all of us on friday morning
The passports! watch it!
The season of perpetual hope!
The third floor go it's scary up there
Then I made myself go down there to do some laundry and I found out it's not so bad
Then say it again maybe it'll happen
There are 15 people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble
There are 15 people in this house you're the only one that has to make trouble
There he goes! there he is! get out of the way you dope!
There he is!
There he is! (2)
There's a lot of things going around about me but none of it's true okay
There's absolutely nothing more we can do in this airport
There's no one home the house looks secure
There's no way on earth we're gonna make this plane it leaves in 45 minutes
There's nothing to chicago there's nothing to chicago new york nashville you name it everything's gone
There's nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville. You name it. Everything's gone.
These are songs yeah yeah we some fairly big hits for us you know in the early '70s you know oh
They was arguing one of' em blew the other one away
They're sending a policeman over to the house to check on kevin
Think positive frank you be positive i'll be realistic
This gal has offered us two first class tickets if we go friday
This house is so full of people it makes me sick! when I grow up and get married i'm livin' alone!
This is it don't get scared now
This is my house I have to defend it
This is ridiculous only a wimp would be hiding under a bed and I can't be a wimp i'm the man of the house
To dallas fort worth
Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to chicago
Too bad acey ain't in charge no more
Too bad acey ain't in charge no more what do you mean
Tracy did you order the pizza buzz did
Trish is going to montreal
Uh joe over there gosh you know he he forgets his kids' names half the time
Uh my son he we left and he's there
Uh that'll be 11 80 sir
Uh yeah yeah fill it up fill it up fill it up please thank you
Um well what about the money
Uncle frank uncle frank is this a joke
Village police department
Vous etes dans votre fauteuil assis ici toute la journee
Wait a minute how did you guys get home
Wait a minute wait a minute
Wait hold on a second my elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend that's okay
Wait son you have to pay for that toothbrush son son! hey!
Wait wait wait wait he wants us to follow him I got a better idea come on
Watch it you never know what's up there
Watch it!
We didn't forget him we just miscounted
We don't need that kind of heat
We got a crisis ourselves
We have to use the phone please i'm sorry it's an emergency we really have to make a call
We have to use the phone, please.
We left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day.
We live in the most boring street in the united states of america where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen period
We lost our tempers and I said I didn't care to see him anymore
We made it do you believe it
We took care of everything believe me we did
We used to have to go over to aunt laura and uncle arthur's house
We'd better get out of here before somebody sees us
We'll call as soon as we land kate i'm sure everything's okay
We'll come back tomorrow maybe they'll be gone by then
We'll do exactly what he did to us i'm gonna burn his head with a blowtorch then we can smash his face with an iron!
We'll see what happens
We'll unload the van we'll get a bite to eat we'll come back about 9 00 this way it's dark then
We're going to orlando florida
We're here rotting in this apartment
We're just checking the neighborhood to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions that's all
We're not gonna hurt you no no we got some nice presents for you
We're the wet bandits
Well actually first we're going to missouri to pick up my grandma
Well I don't know it doesn't say hon
Well if he's the shovel slayer how come the cops don't arrest him
Well if the kid's there the parents gotta be
Well this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself it is I think so
Well you brought it up I was just trying to cheer you up well i'm sorry I did
Well, if the kid's there, the parents gotta be.
Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.
What
What (2)
What (3)
What about a private plane no i'm sorry we don't do that
What about another airline
What about you me yeah you and your son
What about your brothers and your sisters i'm an only child
What am I supposed to do shake his hand and say congratulations you're an idiot
What are we gonna do to him harry
What are you doing marv harry don't move marv don't move! marv what are you doing marv
What are you doing out of costume now get back and get dressed
What are you doing out of costume?
What did I say
What do you mean
What do you mean by drinking you know it's not allowed! but it's cold a man's gotta do something to keep warm
What else could we be forgetting?
What else did you do while we were away just hung around
What happened
What if he won't talk to me
What is the matter with you
What kind of mother am i
What makes you say that just out of curiosity
What money acey said you had some dough for me
What money well you have to pay for your pizza sir
What no kiddin' what a funny guy
What time do we have to go to bed early we're leaving the house at 8 00 a m on the button
What what what what what happened
What's he doin' now he walks up and down the streets every night salting the sidewalks
What's next rabies shots for the easter bunny
What's so funny what's so funny what are you laughin' at
What's the matter
What's the matter honey
What's wrong with you? I told you not to do it.
What's your point my point is you should call your son
When do you come back not till then
When those guys come back i'll be ready
Where are the passports and tickets I put 'em in the microwave to dry 'em off
Where are the passports and tickets?
Where are they I don't know she said 8 00 sharp
Where are you guys?
Where are you you little creep
Where are you, you little creep?
Where do you live I can't tell you that why not 'cause you're a stranger
Where is everybody else
Where those treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow the snow
Where'd he go maybe he committed suicide
Where's my suitcase
Where's your mom my mom's in the car and where is your father he's at work
Which way we'll go around back to the basement follow me
Who I don't know
Who is he
Who is it
Who is it it's little nero's sir I have your pizza
Who stole my hair dryer
Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone
Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa! (objects falling from the shelf)
Whoa! whoa! whoa!
Whoa! whoa! whoa! whoa!
Whoa! whoa! whoa! whoa! whoa! whoa!

Viral
Funny