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Home > Mars Attacks! (1996) Soundboard
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A date sounds good
A fleet of vehicles which can best be described as flying saucers
A message from the martians
A powerful memory is in the making not just for me but for all mankind
A silver ramp is coming out like a giant tongue oh
Abraham lincoln meets leave it to beaver you know the sort of thing yes sir
Ah getting more comfortable I see
Ahem but seriously this is tremendously exciting
Ak ak ak ak ak ak ak ak! (martian speaking in alien language)
Ak ak ak ak ak ak! (martian speaking in alien language)
Ak ak ak ak ak ak! ak ak ak ak (speaking in alien language)
Ak ak ak! (speaks in alien language)
All green of skin 800 centuries ago
All right
An advanced civilization is by definition not barbaric
And I personally guarantee that you will get a complete return on your investment within five months
And I want a cop on every corner
And I want the people to know that the garbage will still be carried out
And I want to thank my grandma for always being so good to me and for helping save the world and everything
And if we notice down here behind the optic chiasm several glands
And if you think you can make a nickel in this town without knowing how to dally around a few curves well you don't know diddlysquat about the gaming industry
And it's so perfect that it's happening at the beginning of the new millennium
And jerry i'll need a good speech statesman like historical and yet warm and neighborly
And let me make it clear you have nothing to fear from us
And of course down here we have the aorta up here we have the sphinx
And our world will never feel quite the same again
And rest assured that working together we will soon come out at a very real outcome thank you
And soon we will become one solar system
And the news that I have heard today ranks right up there
And then the martians heard our global karmic cry for help
And we have the united states army that'll fight you to the last man and we'll never surrender
And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die
And you do please call me donald
Annihilate kill! kill! kill!
Anyway look things have been a little lean around here and I was wondering if I could get a raise
Are the kids there yeah hold on
Are they too old fashioned yes no I don't think so
Are you out of your mind i'm not going to start a war
Are you positive this thing is gonna work
Are you sure I shouldn't be there
Art are you still spinning your wheels on that cockamamie hotel
As soon as I get back to the base
As you know earlier today the martian ambassador and his confederates attacked and killed many of your representatives on capitol hill
Assholes why did I listen to them I should have stayed in the hotel
Barbara can I have the gun back please barbara give me the gun and come on!
Barbara go with him okay
Be careful boy bye bye
Because eleanor roosevelt was too fond of chintz that's why
Because we didn't get into the canals the martian canals are actually canyons some of them are over 100 miles deep
Because we're different?
Because you know i've watched you on tv quite a bit and well i've had something of a schoolboy crush on you for oh gosh ages
Because you're cooking up a feast
Billy glenn norris gave his life defending our country
Billy glenn norris is a true american hero
Boy! richie come back here!
Budget negotiations may be dead in the water after this week
Bullshit! the airfield's over there!
But didn't I always tell you honey if I just stayed in place and never spoke up good things were bound to happen yeah okay
But don't you realize what you're doing you're destroying the earth all this greed this money system you're destroying everything
But I was thinking maybe instead of houses we could live in tepees because it's better in a lot of ways
But when I see you hanging about with anyone it's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Bye bye grandma
Bye bye honey
Bye bye you be careful baby okay don't get yourself killed
Bye bye, Grandma
Byron byron byron
Byron is everything all right you still coming tomorrow
Byron there's martians everywhere
Byron williams
Byron williams heavyweight champion of the world
Byron williams telephone byron williams that's me I gotta go
Byron you're a nice guy but I can get leon spinks or buster douglas for the same money maybe less
Call me nathalie
Can we go this way sorry ma'am there's a tour going through here
Can you speak up we can't hear you
Can't expect the same luck twice
Cedric neville
Cindy come with me
Cindy get in the plane what
Cindy over here
Come here
Come here for what i'm not gonna hurt you now come here
Come on barbara
Come on come on papa needs a new pair of shoes
Come on kid i'm not that old
Come on this way!
Coming out of commercial in five four three two
Corinthian if they got it
Daddy! daddy! daddy!
Darling we got plumb lucky with billy glenn
Did any one of you traitors see my muffy
Didn't I tell you this would happen
Die you alien shithead!
Do the martians have two sexes like we do
Do we know they're warships
Do you got a girlfriend no
Do you have to drink in front of me
Do you hear me we'll fight you on the beaches we'll fight you on the street we will never never surrender
Do you know anyone who can fly a plane
Doctor thank you professor
Don't run we are your friends
Don't run we are your friends don't run we are your friends
Don't shoot
Don't worry darling
Doorway is opening
Ethel that reminds me
Everything is fixed now general you may speak
Excellent sir I have prepared the order
Excuse me but you said you wanted to know as soon as we had an analysis of the gum
Excuse me folks but we gotta make an unscheduled stop
Extraterrestrial life
Feels good don't it
Finished! one minute 57 seconds
Florence norris I hereby present to you the congressional medal of honor the highest decoration our nation can bestow
For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest
For many years i've been refining a translating computer the results are not perfect but this may answer some of your questions
For some picky reason the secret service don't want the executive branch and the legislative branch in the same room at the same time
Frame enlargements provide an astonishing sight
From hollywood we bring you the lawrence welk show
From the limited information available i've made three extrapolations
Galaxy's gonna be the best hotel in vegas the best I promise
Galaxy's gonna be world class
Gee whiz
General casey
General casey do you have an opinion
General casey you think you can handle it i'd be proud
General decker if you do not shut up
General decker it seems I owe you an apology
General they're sending coordinates
Gentlemen there is no way that we can lose
Get back there I don't want to hear another word
Get down!
Get your butt on the bus get on that bus boy
Girls get out! get out! get out! get out!
Give me your ma again all right all right hold on mom
Give them room that's it give them room
Go get it started
Go go!
Go to Camera 2!
Good but keep a lid on it key media good cross section of guests
Good evening my fellow americans
Good morning it's nice to see you all again
Good night and god bless you all
Goodbye I love you I love you too nathalie
Goodbye my darling I wish things could've been different so do i
Goodbye thomas it's billy glenn grandma I know thomas ha ha ha
Grandma are you okay
Grandma I bet you never thought you'd live to see the martians coming to earth
Grandma i'm richie I know thomas
Greetings I am general casey commanding officer of the armed forces of the united states of america
Greetings I am the martian ambassador
Guess it wasn't the dove
Guys come on give me a break go on in there and start cleaning your room I can't do all this by myself please look at you
Ha ha you did really
Ha ha! didn't I tell you under two minutes you did
Hair looks good I like the hair
He did say that we come in peace yes
He did that well
He just copped a feel
He who believes in me though he die yet shall he live
He who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.
He's going to throw them off so we can escape
He's interrupting everybody
He's the chairman of the american academy of astronautics
Heh i'm glad somebody did
Hello byron! byron!
Hello gentlemen nice of you to come on such short notice
Hello hello operator operator this is an emergency! help! please!
Hello maurice ca va tres bien
Hello my name is barbara hello barbara
Hello the martians have attacked
Hello, my name is Barbara
Here it is
Here lock and load
Here you want my watch take it take it go on it's a rolex
Hey are you doing anything because if you want I could give you a personalized tour would you like that
Hey are you still cool on me coming to washington
Hey barbara yeah you all right
Hey dad who's that neville yeah
Hey grandma you gonna be okay
Hey hey just because you're dressed like king tut doesn't mean you're our leader
Hey howdy there mr lee
Hey I saw you fight in cardiff wales once yeah
Hey listen i've been thinking about martians when there wasn't no martians
Hey ma you want a doughnut how old are they fresh baked monday richie that's six days ago okay give me a couple
Hey mitch good morning miss
Hey mitch it's me can you let me in
Hey poppy all these people all of them here to see you mm mwah
Hey that was a hell of a punch
Hey this is work baby okay
Hey this martian thing is pretty awesome huh
Hey we all make mistakes mr president
Hey what's that that is a portrait of james monroe
Hey you're tom jones right it ain't unusual
Hey, you're Tom Jones, right?
Hey! cut it out!
Hey! hey am I the only one shooting craps here
Hi everybody first I just want to say
Hi hi there want a date how about it
Hi there are you interested in the white house
Ho! shh! shh quiet
Holy mother of god did you see that
How do byron
How many centuries did he say eight hundred sir
How you doing
How's my lady doing
I am an alcoholic but I haven't had a drink in three months
I and all my colleagues are extremely excited good
I apologize for interrupting your regular programs but I have a very important announcement to make
I bet people were pretty scared when they invented the train
I can smell it all the way from the interstate
I can't hear you!
I don't care i'm gonna go get grandma
I don't know it's some sort of emergency announcement or something
I even loaded a plane with supplies
I faced that demon I don't want him coming out again
I feel this is the perfect summation to the 20th century
I got people coming in everybody wants to be a part of this
I got to go
I gotta get to washington
I hardly think I need worry about that
I hate school
I have some good news for you the martian ambassador is here and we've negotiated a settlement
I heard that
I honestly don't know nathalie I don't know what's going on anymore this is frustrating