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Red Dwarf Soundboard

Red Dwarf is a British science fiction comedy franchise. Starring: Craig Charles, Chris Barrie, Danny John-Jules, Robert Llewellyn, Chloë Annett, Norman Lovett, and Hattie Hayridge.

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Red Dwarf Soundboard
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List of sound clips on this page:

Alphabeti spaghetti?
Alphabetti Spaghetti
And in this case you're about to do the largest splits you'll ever do in your life I get blown up then bits of you do
Anyone said sick I miss her all to see justin alcott or is this a bad time
Brace yourself for a bit of a shot list of what I just saw you die the body to brace yourself thinking much of a chance like that you ample bracing time didn't even pause well i'm sorry i've just h...
But now on read walkers run bike week five hundred
But we don't get stopped by the cops market with your rat asked
But you would not profit by it you would gamble your safety from your android is this the human value you call friendship document is star trek crap it's too early in the morning
Can you be two things simultaneously could take you sir in some ways you're bright sensitive and caring and other ways you're an irresponsible curry obsessed moron
Cool cool down my diodes and call me frank
Emergency emergency there's an emergency going on
Excuse me gentlemen while having humiliating panic attack under the scanner table
Fish
Fished to death
Hello how can I help you fish today's faces trial telegram enjoy your meal fish today's fish is trout alacran enjoy your meal fish today's fish is trying to like rapid enjoy your meal crazy today's...
Honey I hired a smarter lawyer instead of the brain dead pompous stupid head get I ended up with you defended yourself
I consider it an insult my backside it was cold to sit here growing carbuncles true such putrid adolescents lush
I don't believe i'm here I have not seen it all the time
I don't feel think stacy is willing creates a static field of time so just as X rays can't pass through lead time cannot penetrate the stasis field so although you exist in our existing time in few...
I don't want you to planning on but it does appear as a very tightly possibility that they may very well in all likelihood possibly be a nonhuman lightbulb open
I give up i'll be back for breakfast
I know this game is called cat and mouse and there's only one way to win don't be the mouse what are you saying i'm saying the mouse never wins unless you believe those lying cartoons
I peed in his mom 's team on had yellow T shirts for a week
I turned into a frog
I'm sorry everyone but we may have to have sandwiches for lunch
I've been diagnosed as being quirky and unstable spend my nipple nuts understand me to alaska
If mechanoids could farm i'd be under my first bag by now
It's a five five one seven stroke W thirteen al first sim mode and the interface circuit with a built in five double nine X RDP oh how did you know
It's an alkali oh yes what it called seven franklin lithic mixed reality and richard exceed accidentally jackson
Just kind of crashed a bit crashed a bit all of who just lay there and they didn't talk to me anymore after a couple years I figured out they must be dead
Like these hey you monkey clean up the floor you got no style or sophistication oh i'm sorry
Load it on them that is a steaming pile of hotspur
Man beans up in the hat of bear strangler mcgee he thought the mighty brief ormari stupid which are you boy sorry what were the choices again
May I remind you of space core directed three four one two four three four one two four no officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity
My hand shakes less reliable the plumbers estimate
New nickname was never ace maybe ace hole
No chance you metal dust
Now I have my principles listed you think you can buy me with promises of power and glory you really think OK i'll do it
Oh dear what is the fat is lost a bit of weight actually actually he's lost quite a bit of everything
Oh it's my shadow shadow looking guy i'm looking nice my shadows would you not wanna team we are unbelievable OK team this way
Oh my god it's going to kill us
Oh my god it's killed us
Oh yes that's good
On the other hand we have lister who and let's be fair to him is a complete give
Radial jump just let me check therma sandwiches contractors telephone money dandruff brushed animal footprint chart an one triple thick condom
Red Dwarf Holoship
Red Dwarf Rimmer Dad
Red Dwarf Smeghead
Red Dwarf Soundboard Sound
Red Dwarf Theme
Right in your own time if you'd like to stop space vehicle proceed with the cargo bay doors and off into outer space
Rimmer would be effectively dead hey things are looking up already
Room at the escape pod is not an option why not escape last thursday and having a few beers couldn't be bothered moving so I used the release mechanism the bottle up net
See you in three million years you'll be dead when I really
Smeg head
Smeg Sake
So this is really mean no style gumbo with teeth the jewish could use the place of worship
Somebody saves before a wet me cakes
Something to be proud of me just once and now man i'm so hungry I just happening
Sunset clause water park who is the big fat dick twitch next i'm assuming we're still the kids favorite sport
Through the whole amount database collected every single option there three realistic alternatives one sit here and get blown up stand here and get blown up jump up and down shout at me for not bei...
Too slow chicken marengo
TV shows and we all huddled together like this and whisper for awhile before we answer it looks like we know what we're doing
We're talking about the trigonomic SUV four dimensional space you simple minded game boy
Well we know what to get you for christmas a double lobotomy in ten rolls of rubber wallpaper
What are you doing i'm giving you a big wet smog with noodles of tommy tongue
Who gives a smeg
Who in the heck are you they called me the key here that he
Yeah i'm so excited all six of my nipples are tingling
Yeah when you should take a look at my wardrobe it's so big it crosses the international time zone but it's three o'clock when my shirts are it's seven in the morning for my fax

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