Hail, Caesar! (2016) Soundboard Edit

A ha!

A little bird told me that he disappeared from the set today.

A minute ago it was Laurentz

A Roman drinks before a slave.

A simple economic agent.

A truth beyond the truth that we can see.

A truth that we could see if we had but...

A truth told not in words, but in light.

Absolutely. No foul.

Action

Adopt her baby after all.

Ah, come on!

All right

All right, let's call New York.

All right, this might do it.

All right.

All right. Scram

All righty.

All successful. You see any of the profits, Dutch?

All these documents will be sealed until the year 2015.

All we got left is the final scene

Always in a sub rosa way, of course.

Am I late?

Ancient Rome.

And a third on the way, apparently. Mmm hmm.

And becomes ever more committed

And can be enlisted to finance its own destruction.

And conversation ensues

And cut!

And hit that pedestrian on Gower,

And Hobie and I are fixin' to be friendly.

And however it'll be

And I was Bad Clem or Deputy Number Two

And I'm sure..

And I'm wondering what the hell am I doing

And if he plays dumb, or the AD's wrong and he is dumb,

And it's people listening.

And Lockheed was there. We had a..

And my ardor for you...

And my teeth headed off for east Texas.

And sensing opportunity

And started teaching us about direct action.

And that's who benefits.

And the Tucumcari crew has shot all the plates

And then conversation ensues

And then someone heard me sing and they made me the guy.

And they will assume your mirthlessness

And we're moving into jet airplanes.

And you look wonderful, wonderful. How do you feel?

And, in fact, that's right, yes, you enter from there,

And, yes, entertainment.

Another finger sandwich?

Another task for Eddie Mannix.

Any more thoughts about who you might marry?

Anything different, Mr. Seslum?

Anyway, there we were, it's me and Danny,

Are looking to pick up a Hollywood column.

Are up to snuff.

Are you a principal or an extra?

Are you joking? Me, for the little guy?

Armageddon

Arne. Hello.

As capitalist handmaidens.

As your photoplay would have it.

Ask him. He knows

Autolochus Antoninus.

Autolochus' speech at the feet of the penitent thief

Baird Whitlock, your biggest star,

Baird's unavailable right now. Wait one day

Because I'm thinking, Who benefits?

Because the studio is nothing more

Bob Stack would come up sometimes.

But for Eddie Mannix, beginning of a new work day.

But he isn't there.

But Hocheiser is seen only fleetingly

But I don't know if Hobie Doyle

But I think I got my leg up on her now.

But I think it's got moments, I really do.

But I'm late for something important.

But it will have to be this afternoon.

But right now I've got a lunch.

But second unit has been idle

But we ain't gonna see no dames

But we don't want it in the gossip columns.

But we have to disagree 'Cause the only guarantee

But we need a male lead and we need him now.

But what do you think, honey? You know best.

But who knows? Exactly.

But, DeeAnna, having a child without a father

But, of course, for us, the man Jesus Nazarene is not God.

But, Rabbi, all of us have a little bit of God in us, don't we?

Call didn't take so long then.

Can't find Baird Whitlock

Cannot be found in Rome!

Check that. It was Thora Thacker

Chunk can't act.

Come join me on the divan

Come join me on the divan.

Come join me on the divan.

Come, come.

Comrade. Comrade!

Cut

Cut!

Cut! Cut! Faith! Have but faith!

Darn you, moon! What good are you anyway?

Do they care about Carlotta Valdez?

Does the depiction of Christ Jesus cut the mustard?

Don't blame that moon, Curly. She can't do nothin' but shine.

Don't confuse me with my sister!

Don't know about this part

Don't play games with them, Eddie.

Don't you agree?

Drink?

Easy

Eddie, I wouldn't... I would never do that!

Engels!

Even though its purpose is to exploit the little guy.

Everyone's riding in airplanes,

Expressing contradictions that must be worked through.

Extras, that's different.

Faith. Faith! God damn it!

Fixin' to be friendly.

Food!

For the little guy or against, it doesn't matter.

For those who will not submit,

Friends, my foot!

From the dusty streets of Bethlehem,

Gentlemen, thank you all for coming.

Go one again. Isn't it...

God doesn't have children

God is love!

God is who he is

Got a call. Loud, disorderly.

Hail, Caesar! Ten apple, take 10.

Hardly. But look, do you have to run it tomorrow?

Haunted. By Biff's grip

Have latterly burned my face!

Have meant something to the public

Having just seen Biff's valise in the foyer,

He controls the means of...

He couldn't be here this afternoon.

He has a high ankle sprain

He knows how to make a quality picture.

He said it's urgent, he'll see you one last time,

He saw my own sin, Gracchus, and greed.

He sings, he dances, he's got taste.

He was not not God.

He wears chaps!

He's a bachelor. And very angry

He's back! Line two.

Hello, C.C.

Hello, Eddie. I'm notifying you as a courtesy

Hello, Hobie.

Hello, Mr. Mannix.

Hello?

Herb, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Here, it's coming around again.

Hey, by the way, Chunk sounded good in there.

Hey!

Hey! Off of there!

History will be what it will be,

History, sociology, politics, morality, everything.

History. Economics.

Hmm.

Holding for a dissolve...

Holding...

How come? I don't know her

How is he going to jump from one chariot to the other

How pleasant to see you, Mr. Mannix

How you doing, Mannix?

How'd you get into pictures, Hobie?

How's it going with the smoking, dear?

How's the first day on the picture?

Hurries back to the vastness of Capitol Pictures,

I am not a gossip columnist!

I did not.

I do value our friendship, Thora,

I don't mean to denigrate

I don't think you'll do that, Mr. Whitlock.

I encountered him before, Gracchus.

I gotcha.

I gotta skedaddle. So sorry

I have seen worse

I haven't an opinion

I hug you.

I just wanted to visit again

I lied to Connie. Uh, to my wife.

I like all of your pictures.

I mean, if you want that chuckle, I sure wanna give her to you

I mean, look at yourself, Baird.

I mean, we may tell ourselves that we're creating

I mentioned the name of my picture.

I need a list of everyone who worked on

I never touch it. It was a legal fiction.

I saw only light.

I see.

I sought to drink first at the well,

I think I'm a principal.

I think we're supposed to do that.

I think, Why, there's old Bud setting the 5K.

I thought I was getting an exclusive on this

I thought you might wanna take this

I wish there weren't no bossy old women!

I won't forget, Eddie.

I'd like to know what the hell is going on here.

I'll leave through the patio.

I'm bonded, miss

I'm bonded, miss.

I'm looking forward to it.

I'm not really a student of history.

I'm not sure I follow, Padre

I'm sorry, did I say petty?

I'm sorry, I was just...

I'm sorry, sir. Not now!

I'm sweet on Allegra. Indeed you are

I'm taking the car.

If he tells us where Baird's been taken.

If you give me another shot at her

Ilsa Pflug.

In every respect.

In livelier precincts,

In order to make it first class

In spite of Allegra's claim that he hasn't been to the house

In the villa of Sestimus Amydias

Interesting. As a single... Mmm hmm.

Is I'll see a lot of you And you'll see a lot of me

Is it? Yeah.

It could work. It could work.

It is decided. Hello, Burt.

It seems Allegra's a no show, which is simply a bore.

It's a new age, Mannix, and we're part of it

It's a nice arrangement.

It's a swell story.

It's all in a book called Kapital, with a K.

It's an adaptation of a Broadway smash!

It's been, uh, 24 hours since my last confession.

It's been, what, 27 hours.

It's just confirming what they call the status quo.

It's just the theory generating its own anti theory.

It's Mr. Laurentz

It's my way of apology for Thessaly horning in last night.

It's really too often, my son.

It's so hard.

Joe Silverman.

Jonah's Daughter still behind?

Just as I'm about to do.

Just coming to see you.

Lace up yesterday's dailies on Hail, Caesar!

Late last night, I talked to Laurence,

Late night for both of us.

Late night, Mr. Mannix?

Laurence is fine, just as I call you Hobie.

Laurence Laurentz

Laurentz.

Laws that these guys figured out.

Lazy ol' moon, keep shinin'

Let's see, first of all, why don't we

Lifetime employment.

Like, an easy job.

Lockheed is booming

Look, no one wants to see Lunt

Looking at Dierdre as we speak

Lots of energy.

Ma'am? Miss

Make room!

Maybe use his stunt double, Chunk Mulligan?

Me being the new hand in the bunkhouse.

Meanwhile, far from the crashing surf of Malibu,

Mention it to anyone?

Mmm. And he did so well, he wants to stay there now.

Mostly pretty good, but this time

Mr

Mr. Mannix?

Mr. Schenk's office, line two.

My ardor...

My column tomorrow is about

My fault overthinking the thing

My question is, is our depiction fair?

Natalie, could you please get me Stu Schwartz, Accounting?

New York first.

No

No dames

No dames!

No dames! With no dames!

No fans, no press, no court officials, not even a notary public.

No one else knows about Hobie and Carlotta.

No, don't say trippingly, say the line trippingly

No, he's game

No, it's not a bad job. It's not bad.

No, it's nothing.

No, Jack Hogarth is drying out at Cedars.

No, less than an hour. Personal errand.

No, no, of course not.

No, no. I gotta run.

No, that's the problem. Having a child, not married.

No, we can use Christian names, my good dear boy

No.

No.

Not making a blanket call here.

Not so simple as she suggests

Not so, Sperm ulina.

Not true. He likes ****.

Now, Hail, Caesar! Is a prestige picture,

Now, the only thing I would suggest is,

Now, until quite recently our study group had a narrow focus

Now, you listen to me, buster.

Nuts.

Of course they're kooks! It's all make believe

Oh, good, that's fine.

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Laurentz

Oh, heck, you ain't seen the half of it. I'll show you cute

Oh, hello, Carlotta.

Oh, hi, Eddie.

Oh, Jesus Christ on a scooter!

Oh, Monty

Oh, Monty

Oh, my

Oh, my dear boy. Welcome

Oh, no, it ain't nothin'.

Oh, poor Monty.

Oh, she's peekin' back

Oh, thank you

Oh, that! No, no.

Oh, we've all heard the story.

Oh, you know...

Oh, you'll get by without a change.

Oh.

Okay

Okay, tell him I'll be there.

Okay, well, see..

Okay, you're the boss man.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. In the brazier scene,

Okay. Okay, I'll call the coach.

On The Debonaires and on Blessed Event.

On the deck and down below

On the planet in our experience.

On Wings as Eagles who's still at the studio.

On Wings as Eagles.

On yesterday's march,

Or a half a dozen clams

Or so the captain claims

Our biggest release of the year,

Overturned the rotten election

Palestine!

Parasitism! On the..

People don't want the facts, they wanna believe!

Perhaps, sir, you forget its telling in the Holy Bible.

Personhood

Possible French postcard situation.

Praxis. Action.

Pretty boys, saps and swishes!

Problem solving

Quite a place. Yours?

Realization.

Recline with the lyre.

Regardless of faith or creed.

Roll sound!

Romans before slaves!

Romans before slaves! Make room, you fools!

Rome's legions are masters of the world.

Rueful simple. Would that ih twuuuuuuh...

Running this factory, serving up these lollipops to the...

Said you promised her an interview with Baird today.

Same thing, isn't it?

Saul, humble merchant of Tarsus

Say your line exactly as I'm about to

She charged it to the studio.

She says, Danny's not doing a Norman Taurog picture.

Shinin'just to be

Since you're going to your car,

So he can bring him in and sweat him.

So Joe has done

So they authorized me to say this

So you're a professional person?

So, it's commies.

So, no. No. I wouldn't call it ransom

So, now, uh, do I get a share of the ransom?

So, she's gonna importune, Mr

Some

Somebody slipped it under my door

Someone's calling from the future.

Son, it's so late.

Sorry to drag you out in the rain.

Sorry to keep you hanging. It's a tough decision.

Sorry, Cuddahy, work emergency

Sorry, sir, no.

Soulful simple. Would that ih twuuuuuuh so simple.

Still do work there, for the day anyway

Still shank of night for some.

Stu, how are ya? I need some petty cash.

Suggested same place, 7:00 this evening.

Suits me.

Sure thing

Sure, okay.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. I'll give it a go

Sure. Let's try..

Sure. She's always yearned to be a mother.

Take a little

Talking with the camera looking at me, but, heck, I enjoy.

Tell her he was at the doctor longer than expected,

Tell her I'm stuck on a call.

Tell the ADs Baird is out briefly with a high ankle sprain

Test site

Thank you, and she doesn't need to

Thank you, Hobie!

Thank you. Now if I follow this correctly...

That I am running my Baird Whitlock story

That is its function.

That is terrific.

That it will not offend any reasonable American

That it's never been told

That pie off the sill, Ms. McGraw

That will soon challenge the vast house of Caesar,

That's a cut. Back to one.

That's extremely classy.

That's fine. Laurentz came by this morning

That's good.

That's it.

That's my whole character, the slow burn.

That's right.

That's the story of...

The body politic! Shut up!

The cell he was part of has been smashed by the police.

The communists welcome a rare moment of leisure.

The completed weave of another piece of gossamer.

The denizens of Los Angeles make ready for nightlife, or for sleep.

The emperor, Caesar, is Godhead.

The exact same thing.

The extras? Why?

The facts are never beneath me.

The industry you're in, what's the future there?

The movie studio for which he works manufactures stories,

The release papers you're signing

The story. I have a credible source and I am going to run it,

The studio has the rights to Gloria's likeness, Falco.

The studio makes pictures to serve the system.

The truth, yes. Mmm hmm

The value created by our labor,

There is still truth in the adage

There is unity in division.

They're sweet on each other.

This can't be faked! It's the heart and soul of the picture

This here's Italian origami.

This will be the story of the year

Thora Thacker.

Thora, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Thora, wait one day and I'll give you

Through faith, may enter the Kingdom of heaven.

Through the halls of the great library of Alexandria in the east.

Time to check in with Mr. Schenk.

To heave itself blindly upon the shore.

To Rome.

To the quest to hasten an end to history

Todd Hocheiser

Todd.

Tucumcari Tempest, Desert Squall, Hold Back The Storm.

Uh huh.

Uh, check.

Uh, cut

Uh, Mr. Mannix?

Uh, Mr. Smitrovich takes pictures for our newsletter

Uh, no, thanks, hon. Coffee.

Uh, that Mr. Laurentz, he's an awful good man.

Uh, Thora Thacker just came in.

Um..

Vince was not minor

Wait one day

We accelerate the dialectic

We ain't gonna see a dame

We ain't gonna see a dame

We are heading out to sea

We are the Future.

We had the vehicle title transferred to Joe's name,

We have to work something out for DeeAnna Moran.

We might even see a mermaid

We might see some octopuses

We need Baird's star power, his charisma

We need for Came the Rain

We stay behind, continuing to serve in our disguise

We want to make it easy for you to say yes

We'll be happy as can be

We're fixin' to be friendly, tell you that.

We're gonna give it to them

We're gonna see And how will it be?

We're gonna see How will it be?

We're gonna see How will it be?

We're on Stages 5 and 14.

We're ready for you, Mr. Whitlock!

Well, all right, pard.

Well, I like to think we've changed a few minds.

Well, I understand you've been associating with DeeAnna Moran?

Well, it's true that the boss doesn't work, but he has a function.

Well, just shoot the showdown in the weather and we'll retitle it.

Well, now, this is interesting.

Well, now, this is interesting.

Well, that's as may be, but I certainly learned my lesson.

Well, the nature of Christ is not quite as simple

Well, we like to think that families..

What a bore

What a bore.

What about Arne Seslum? He is the father, isn't he?

What are you doing this for?

What are you, a child?

What do I tell the director?

What if we told the truth about On Wings as Eagles?

What Monty doesn't know...

What thing is this?

What, is this guy a comedian?

What?

What?

What's going on there, Mr

When Chubby Cregar was intoxicated

When we're out there on the sea

Where is she?

Which is simply a bore.

Who cares about the bartender?

Whoa!

Why the pout?

Why the pout?

Woken up in some strange houses before,

Won 't hurt Monty.

Wonderful young actor we found in Akron, Ohio, in a nationwide talent hunt

Wonders if you have a moment

Would that ih twuuuuuuh so simple

Would that ih twuuuuuuh so simple

Would that ih twuuuuuuh so simple

Would that ih twuuuuuuh so simple.

Would that ih twuuuuuuh so...

Would that it were so simple

Would that it were so simple.

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah, he has it now?

Yeah, Merrily We Dance starts shooting today.

Yeah, no father.

Yeah, of course He does

Yeah, so we blindly follow these laws like any other institution,

Yeah, two children.

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. They were both louses

Yeah, yeah, we associated.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

Yeah? What's the story?

Yeah. And you're not gonna believe this

Yeah. Get it for me. That it?

Yeah. Sure, but...

Yes

Yes, he did have to take a break.

Yes, I have it.

Yes, we do need someone pronto.

Yes, we're friends. We're...

Yes! That's right.

You are the star.

You ever been in this place? Pretty nice, huh?

You have a 10:00 a.m. with Monsignor O'Reilly

You know it will.

You never told me who with

You one of the Hollywood people?

You realize, of course, that for we ****,

You said, Say it like I said it. Yes

You see, if you understand economics,

You were at a party, had too much to drink.

You won't be babysitting a lot of oddballs and misfits,

You worship the God of another age.

You'd never have to work again

You're a communist, too?

You're admitting he isn't.

You're awfully cute.

You're damn right you won't.

You're going home now.

You're gonna dance with me

You're gonna do it because you're an actor

You're gonna go out there and you're gonna finish Hail, Caesar!

Your studio, for instance, is a pure instrument of capitalism

27, Baker two.

Our Lady of Perpetual Rest to dry out. Uh huh.

So God is split? Yes

...and asked all of the assistant directors, and one of them said