He's Just Not That Into You (2009) Soundboard Edit

A girI wiII never sIeep with you...

ActuaIIy, I can. I see this stuff going on every night.

After I went out with Ben for the first time, he didn't caII me for 1 1 days.

AII the women they're gonna miss out on.

ALEX: Hey, SkiIo!

ALEX: Look, you seem Iike a cooI girI, so I'm just gonna be honest with you.

All right. Okay

Amanda.

Amazing.

And cute.

And he teIIs my dad that he's never feIt anything Iike it before

And I think he might be Ieaving me a message at home as we speak.

And I wanna make you happy.

And I'd love to buy you dinner sometime if you're still game.

And it's Iike we're together.

And one night he meets this woman at some church event.

And that same wise person toId me that I am the ruIe.

And then out of nowhere it just stops. But she stiII caIIs.

And what's your question?

And, I mean, why shouId you have to wait for him to get off his ass?

ANNA: Hm

Baby, what are you doing? It's our turn. Forget the dip. Come on, come on

Because I don't do stuff Iike this

Because I'm a guy, and it's just how we do it.

Because you aII thrive on the drama. Thank you.

BEN: It's over there

Beth, you know, I'm the same person.

BETH: Dad. Excuse me.

Better later than never

BRUCE: Ooh. NATHAN: Oh

But he's married.

But I just can't stop thinking about him.

But you can teII me the story about the moIars. I'd Iove to hear it.

But you don't feeI the need...

Cigarette?

Conor Barry.

Conor never caIIed..

Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege

Didn't you hear what I said before? I reaIIy gotta finish these offerings.

Do I get to come home now?

DOMINIC: So where's NeiI?

Don't you wanna find some way..

Drinks spiII, which is perfect for him, because now....

Dude.

EIeven days. And now he's the worId's best husband

Excuse me?

ExhaIe.

For this house.

Franchise pIayer. My boy Marbury

GEORGE: AII right, here we go. Come on, defense, wake up.

GIGI: And there it is.

GIGI: Awesome. I'm stuck with a guy who can't distinguish Tuesday from Thursday.

GIGI: Or maybe the happy ending is this:

GIGI: Why do we say this stuff to each other?

God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat.

Good night.

He caIIs, he does what he says

He can move on to the girI with the shouIder tattoo.

He had asked me to co host this party..

He onIy used me for rides, and yet I continued to staIk him for most of 1 998.

He said I couId stay at his boat for a whiIe

He was a veritabIe master at covering his tracks.

He's at a reaI estate conference in D.C. But there'II be a Iot of singIe guys.

Hey

Hey Anna, it's Ben.

Hey, it's me.

Hey, Linda.

Hey, thanks for staying and heIping me cIean up

Hey.

Hi, this is Gigi. Is Alex there?

Hi.

Honey, I'm not Iying to you.

I assure you this Iate payment thing wiII never happen again

I better go.

I can't wait to kiss you again.

I did get some of the food your dad Iikes, but some heaIthy stuff too

I didn't mean it

I don't do this.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't think that it's pretending

I don't understand why peopIe wanna get married.

I had this guy Ieave me a voicemaiI at work, so I caIIed him at home.

I hope

I Iove Janine

I Iove you so much

I just....

I knew it

I knew it.

I know, next time.

I like him, I'll say that L word

I mean, I pored over his phone records, I intercepted his credit card biIIs..

I met you

I need to make you happy...

I need you to be honest with me, Javier.

I was just thinking about you.

I washed your hair for you after you had shouIder surgery and everything

I wouId do anything for you

I'II caII and say, ''In case you were gonna caII me back, don't..

I'II wait at the bar.

I'm getting around to it

I'm having a party next weekend. You shouId come

I'm on it, though, don't worry.

I'm sorry.

In high schooI, if I toId the popuIar guys that Paige was my cousin...

InhaIe, beIIy rise.

Inhale. Upward facing dog.

It was nice meeting you.

It's aIways the same and it has happened to you, my friend.

It's exhausting

It's for work. I'm trying to expand my cIient base

It's not that she won't sIeep with me, douche bag.

It's, Iike....

JANINE: I mean, everyone makes mistakes.

JAVIER: Yeah.

Javier?

Javier...

Kind of given up on you when you didn't caII me back.

Laugh out Ioud! We won!

LAURA: No?

Like Sarah Jessica Parker wouId be funny and sexy.

Listen, I gotta go make a Iiquor run, but the food needs some refreshing.

Look, you gotta be more Iike me. If a girI Iikes me, great

Luis, you cover 4 through 6, then.

Man, you have a gift.

MAN: Hear, hear. WOMAN: That's sweet

MAN: Yes, I'm married

Maybe he's away on business.

Me

More than equaI.

My trampy IittIe sister says MySpace is the new booty caII

NEIL: Great.

NEIL: Now that we are married....

Never been married, happy as a cIam

No, I can't.

No, I mean..

No, I'm good.

No, of course, I'm not mad. Well, I'll be up for a while.

No, sweetie, I'm not smoking.

No, technicaIIy I have six..

No.

No. AbsoIuteIy not.

No. It's a Iaminate.

Not hot yoga instructing singers...

Now, I know I don't need to teII any of you...

Oh, he has a girIfriend, huh?

Oh, I hate that. When you don't know if you're a date.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh, it's Bridget. Hi!

Oh, my Mary

Oh, my word

Oh, no. I mean, just totaIIy unnecessary.

Oh, that's funny

Oh, yeah.

Okay

Okay

Okay, right. ''BiII.''

Okay, weII....

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. That's fine. He's gonna caII

One, two...

Or whatever

Or, in reaI estate terms, ''gay adjacent

PAIGE: She wanted to do it

PAIGE: What I'm trying to show you is that there's a difference.

PAIGE: You just did it again. That was a pause

ReaIIy, Iike what?

Remember that notary pubIic who cheated on me?

Right

She Iikes you. Maybe she just wants you to be a man and do something.

So he divorced his wife...

So I aIso have a magicaI name.

So I think the best I can do is...

So just caII me sometime

So much.

So?

So...

Sure I can't interest you in a IittIe beef and broccoIi?

Sure.

Take care, though. Bye.

Thank you for coming. See you next week.

Thanks. Did any guys hit on you? A Iot of them here

That IittIe boy is doing those terribIe things because he's got a crush on you.

That Phi DeIt so obviousIy Iiked you

That's enough, okay? SeriousIy, you guys, I'm f

That's great, yeah

That's how it's done, isn't it?

That's Iegit, right? Is that aIIowed?

That's reguIar maiI.

That's the beginning of our problem.

The trick is to spot this girI earIy

They do it because they're insecure...

They don't.

This page gets a lot of action.

Trust me. It's because he's just getting out of a serious reIationship.

Wait

Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 1 0.

Wait, just

Wait, stop

Wait, wait, wait! Come here. Stop

Wasn't expecting visitors.

We don't have sex anymore

We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good.

We're all encouraged..

We've been together for over seven years.

WeII, I figured it was no coincidence

WeII, if it's too fast, I guess we can aIways just

WeII, it was either that or the page with the personaIs, so....

WeII, we'd been together since coIIege and she gave me an uItimatum.

WeII, you gotta come out eventuaIIy, right? But I'd take my time in there.

What about texter?

What are you doing?

What?

What?

What?

When you wake up you can say, ''I'm awake now, I'm avaiIabIe to take your caII.''

When you were staIking Conor the other night...

Why are you sharing aII of this inside dating information with me again?

Why did you do that?

Why shouId it be any different, you know, with me and you?

Why'd you get married?

WiII you marry me?

WOMAN 1 : You're doing a great job

Won't sIeep with you anymore

WouId you just turn it the fuck down?

Wow. You caved.

Yeah, come here before peopIe see you have a mini muffin in your hair.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I was there

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never caIIed.

Yeah. No. No, just something

Yeah. That's fantastic

Yes. He shows up without this fictitious BiII character.

You are my exception.

You are so weird

You don't do what? You don't heIp struggIing singers?

You get jumpy when you smoke.

You guys were together, what, Iike 1 0 years?

You know, I'm not charming via text.

You know....

You see how that's kind of confusing?

You teII me this in Home Depot because you know I hate a pubIic scene.

You were right.

You're too pretty and too awesome

You're what I want.

...wouId fix me up with such a good kisser? Back at you, sister

AIex? Yo.

Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? Sure.

Do you wanna go ahead of me? I'll be up.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi

Honey? Yeah.

How are you? Good.

How's she doing? She's getting married.

I don't know. Not what I expected

Is that the question? Yes

It was very nice to meet you. Yeah.

It's not bIack. Look at it.

Namaste. Namaste.

Oh, can you hoId on? Okay.

Staying in town is his business. Right.

Thanks. Good luck.

That's it. Okay

They don't? No.

This one right here? Mm hm

TotaIIy good sign. Right?

Yeah? Yeah, with my IittIe sister

Yes

You are not getting rid of these pants. We had a deaI, mister.

You know it was a woman? CaIIed her ''babe.''

...a good time the other night.

...and they're insaneIy happy

...but I think I know a nice guy who might actuaIIy Iike you

...but I'm just saying, you were warned.

...but then he changed and now they're married and crazy in Iove?

...by the way. The rare exception

...do you know why that IittIe boy did those things and said those things?

...for one of them.

...for seven years and aren't married...

...fun, you know?

...here we are. Same shift again

...if she caIIs you ''cuddIy'' or ''dependabIe.''

...is like a self discovery, as opposed to dating.

...just to get rejected by seven different technoIogies

...maybe we couId

...moving on

...so they couId not caII and treat you kind of badIy and keep you guessing...

...who'II be swept off her feet at the touch of your amateur Iips.''

...why can't we be friends?

...wrote away for information and got accepted on your own.

...you have to Iet me eat those Wheat Thins in bed. You gotta give me that

''The onIy thing happy about this hour is you.''

[ALEX LAUGHS]

[BEN LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLING]

[GIGI LAUGHING]

[GIGI LAUGHS]

[HAMMERING]

[KEN CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[ON PHONE] Gigi, are you there?

[PHONE RINGING]

[SHOWER RUNNING]

[SIGHS]