I Heart Huckabees (2004) Soundboard Edit

About the painful, ugly truth... you know it.

Allowing unfettered access to your home.

And he almost died 'cause he cares about the same things.

And he takes and he takes and he takes.

And over here, this is Vivian, my wife and colleague.

And whose circumference is nowhere.

And, you're... I don't know, you're 21. You got dark hair, etc.

Are we going up or what?

Are you unhappy with their work?

Beat it, you little pussy.

Because my work situation is a little shaky, all right?

Bernard, excuse me. But I'm making some progress here.

But I got it. It's no big deal. Because I got it now, okay?

But I want to debate this particle cube thing.

But seriously, I want to quit the process with you.

Can I get your autograph, please?

Corporate prick bastard. Oh, motherfucking dickhead.

Don't call it "the ball thing." Call it "pure being."

Fuck!

Give me that!

Glad you're here, Albert. This is the place to be

Go for it, man.

He doesn't care about things like this.

Here where you can at Huckabees.

Here, guys. Geckos.

Huckabees pledges to... [Continues, Indistinct]

I got corporate, Dawn

I gotta come take that tree, remove it and let traffic through.

I gotta go... I gotta go to a benefit.

I hope so.

I just have to keep up with this gorgeous hottie.

I know it's small, but at least it's something.

I know.

I think we can do it better.

I was only joking, man. Come on

I was there getting stills of early Bob Dylan.

I was wondering about our coincidences and what they mean

I would like to discuss some curious findings.

I... I... Okay.

I'm being straight with you. Brad smeared me..

I'm in my tree. I'm talking to the Dixie Chicks...

I'm still in the charter. I built the coalition from scratch

I'm whatever else is around. So I'm free to just exist.

If the forms of this world die, which is more real..

Infinity is everywhere. That's what makes it infinity.

Intimacy is combo of infinites.

Isn't it sports questions in that book? [Laughs]

It can dismantle the world as you know it.

It could make me look unstable and it could hurt me.

It was an honest question, Brad.

It was created by people who act like nothing's happening..

It will take a while for you to get it, you know?

It's like I'm a rock or a dish of mold.

Just use an eye mask or shut your eyes, okay?

Ma'am, listen to me.

Meaninglessness

No, Brad, this is how it works. You go to the police.

No, wise ass. Phil Jacksonís a smart guy. All right, come on.

No. No, ma'am. Shania has no song for you. Let's move it along this way.

Not what we were really supposed to be focusing on... hurt.

Nothing. Give him his other. It's an inspired idea. It's groovy.

Nothing. It's just I have an appointment to check out this African guy.

Nothing. Unless it holds the key...

Oh, look at this. Kafka.

Oh, no, please, don't tell anybody

Okay.

One..

Ooh, damn

Open Spaces T's and here is the schedule for the benefit.

Please call me. I'm Marjorie at 96..

Preserve open spaces, have contracts, do the...

She's brainwashing her not to think or feel.

So it may as well be something helpful like Mrs. Schirmir and her vacuum cleaner

So, I've never really done anything like this before.

Something that would be useful for you to be accustomed to.

Thanks, Angela. See you at the meeting on Tuesday.

That are swirling around together.

That entices in a form of desire.

The African guy's a sign, right? Because if he isn't...

The big benefit's coming up with Brad...

The mortgage is in his name, and you're not married.

Then Steven couldn't be here as our guest, could he? So your ideas hurt Steven.

There are unique moments when two people share the deep sorrow of existence.

They don't understand poems. They don't want to hear poems. They have no time for them.

They think too much. Open Spaces T's for everyone. Mary Jane.

This is my work situation, the one I was telling you about. It's a little...

This is what we can share between us, period

Uh... N...

Well, if he's so sensitive, why doesn't he lose 70 pounds and stop talking about geckos

When we dismantle, it can get kind of rough. And it helps...

Where is your pure being now, Tommy? I told you

Which is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Who the hell is that lady with the camera?

Why did you do that to me?

Why did you have to write this poem? How come we can't discuss these things ourselves?

Why don't you and me go outside and have a... have a talk? Come on.

Why?

Yeah, and then tinier cracks between the connections.

Yeah, but if you look close enough, you can't tell where my nose ends...

You can drive a car, you can burn up gas...

You don't go through the back door with a poem and a bonnet

You don't plant no tree in this parking lot!

You know what? Let me just finish reading my poem..

You know what? You got Albert fired.

You know when police find the slightest bit of D.N.A. And build a case?

You know, he's in there getting photos of Morris Chestnut...

You know, we don't have to have kids.

You stay at home. Till you dress normal...

You wanna go? Get out of here man.

You want us to stay away from your job?

You're just sittin' in your gas guzzlers.

You're the writer Tommy's into?

You're wrong. We're gonna do this every day.

Your energy recycles into every possible relation..

Your voice is the trademark voice of Huckabees.

[Albert's Voice] New land. New land. We're open to that.

[Camera Shutter Clicks] Don't stop fighting.

[Game Beeping] For entertainment. No games at the table, please

[Group Booing, Hissing] Shut up! Shut...

[Woman] Brad is not here. So to get us back on track...

[Woman] But not that day? No.

about what for a small boy is a large tragedy. This is ridiculous.

Absurd theater of desire. I know, buddy, it hurts. It's painful.

Add someone else

All I'm gonna do is listen... I spent what? I spent $2,000 on this?

All right, get in. You want me to get in?

And I haven't been with a lot of women. Obviously

Brad! Brad!

Can I come? No.

Conflict is an illusion. Shut up, Brad.

Dawn is gonna love doing spots for the open spaces. Who's Dawn?

Did you get it? Yeah.

Do it again. Do it again. Now.

Do you even believe in love? Or do you only have fantasy relationships...

Everything is the same even if it's different. Exactly

He's planting garbage for us. Kafka.

Hey, Daryl, where are you? [Daryl] Hi, honey.

Hey, is that him there? Yeah, that's him.

Hey, we got to talk, man. Hey, what's going on? Where is everybody?

Hey. My goodness, it is you.

How could you do that to us, you liar? This is a win for us. Come on.

How dare you! Skippy, put her in the car, will ya?

How? If you sign a contract, we'll follow you.

I beg your pardon, Albert. I wasn't finished. Sorry, sir.

I don't know. Why? [Bernard] It's propaganda.

I don't want to talk to you. Thanks, Steven

I thought you said next week. It turns out he can use a connection sooner than later.

I'll be your other. [Vivian] Join us for mancala hour.

I'm not unhappy to be with you! Let me see this!

It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

Joke, love me. Ms. Campbell, how have you felt about being pretty?

Maybe he'll find some friends. Well, your brother feels that you're ashamed of him

No, let me explain. The average temperature of the marsh rises five degrees?

No, stop. Don't look at me. I just want to be left alone.

No, we're gonna work with Brad. It'll all come back to you...

No. It's on.

No. Please.

No. That is not productive. At the photo archive, you spent a lot of time...

Oh, at last. How could you?

Oh! Oh, my God. [Vivian] What's she doing here?

Okay. What are you doing? Okay. What are you doing?

She knew my name. See? So what if she knew your name?

She loves your poems. The one about the rock. Nobody sits like this rock sits.

She's knocking on the glass... That's not gonna look too good for a new corporate guy.

Shh. Shh. Shh. [Woman] Excuse me?

So I'm hiring you to spy on me. That's right.

So long, suckers! [Horn Honking]

Stop it! [Recording] Twenty first floor.

Take that off. Take it off. No. Can I have my car keys, please?

Thanks for helping me out back there. No problem.

That is not Huckabees. I am still Huckabees.

The entire food chain is degraded, starting with frogs. Let me explain.

The joke's on you! The joke is on you! Ow! Ow!

This isn't cool

To Huckabees corporate. Listen. Okay. I want you to do this.

Too busy to go have fun? Hon... Honey, why are you involved with this?

Uh, no, I think you're going up. Right you are. Come on in.

We don't work together at all. Really? It's not like some secret deal...

What kind of reality is that? Not this one

What? I got corporate? You got corporate.

What's happening with your case? I don't know.

What's the other? We're going to find out right now. Shh.

Where did she come from? What's going on?

Word. Okay. We're not sweatin' it.

You can't quit until the case is over. Ah, I can fire you.

You can't see radio waves, but you accept them. Trust.

You should be ashamed of yourself. I should be what?

You're full of shit. You guys got nothing to offer, man. Tommy, no...

You're his therapist? No, I'm...not his therapist.

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

[Gasps]

[Gasps] Albert!

[Grunting, Groaning Continue]

[Heart Beating]

[Inhales, Exhales] First part.

[Laughing, Chattering]

[Man] Excuse me. We have a V.I.P. Function here.

[Man] What the fuck was that?

[Moaning]

[Mouths Words]

[Recording] Thirty sixth floor

[Sighs]

[Speaking French]

[Vivian] Why do you think that you tell the mayo story so much?

[Whispered Voice] How am I not myself? How am I not myself?

[Woman's Voice] Hi. I have some questions...