Ghostbusters (2016) Soundboard Edit

A local team of paranormal investigators released a video of a proclaimed ghost.

A sample?

Abby, what just happened?

ABBY: I mean, for sure. That's... HOLTZMANN: Uh, guys?

ABBY: It's coming! Get her up!

Abby! (CHOKES)

Abby.

Abby. You promised you wouldn't do this.

Absolutely. Yes, I will. Yes, of course!

Actualizing what we just theorized about in our book.

Actually, we're the Conductors of the Metaphysical...

After years,

Aim for the silver canisters.

All right. I should be going.

ALL: Oh!

An army of the undead will return to pester the living

And check this out!

And congratulations, I've decided to become a Ghostbuster

And connect them with lines where they intersect,

And everyone in this building is going to disintegrate.

And he thinks he's doing you a favor.

And here we go!

And I love you. Thank you.

And I'm gonna open it on three.

And that's what friends are for.

And the universe shall bend before your will.

And then later, in the lab, when we were reviewing these tapes...

And then we sat down, and he was behind me,

And this one's even more ionized than the one at the Aldridge Mansion

And you guys know a lot about this science stuff,

And you? You ain 't strong enough

Anything?

Are you kidding me?

Are you okay?

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Aren't you like, Ooh! The cat is out of the bag!

As a result, there are a lot of questions being asked now

Aw, man!

Basset Hound regularly attends matinees by himself.

But don't forget you're gonna

But I tell you what, everybody was alive.

But sometimes you need the Swiss Army.

But you have to introduce us to this guy at the Aldridge Mansion.

Casper?

Caught it.

Come on, move!

Come on, Rowan, get out of him!

Come on! Move me left!

Come on.

Crash and burn it all away

Crash and burn it all away

Distinct human form.

Does it work?

Don't call me that!

Don't let any man tell you otherwise.

Don't tell anyone. I don't want people to panic or anything.

Erin, he's too pasty to fight

ERIN: I love the green paper! ABBY: Thank you.

ERIN: I'm gonna try to talk to it.

ERIN: Oh!

ERIN: Supposedly, if you look at sacred sites and weird events all over the world,

Erin!

Erin? Do you want to join us?

Erin.

Excuse me. Why are you doing this?

FEMALE REPORTER: We also spoke with the Dean of the Kenneth P. Higgins Institute

Forgot about my new toys.

Funny how you're callin ' on us now

Garbage that needs to be cleaned up

Get ghost

Get ghost

Get ghost

Get ghost

Get ghost

Get in the box, you hellion!

Get it off.

Get out of here!

Get out of my friend, ghost!

Get the baking soda. There you go.

Ghost Phantom when I'm handling my business

Ghostbusters. Please give a detailed description of your apparition.

Go, Karate Cats.

Go, Kev. Go, Kev.

He certainly does rock.

He was a ghost in that, too!

He's a dog. His name is Mike Hat.

He's...

Hello?

Here's your chance to work on that.

Hey, are you getting that?

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

HOLTZMANN: Abby, I'll make some adjustments.

HOLTZMANN: Yep.

Holtzy! I got you!

How is that... Holtzmann?

Huh.

I added a booster using microfabricated radio frequency quadrupoles

I am a genius. I see things that no one else does.

I can take you down when the damned get wild

I could see that.

I do what the good girls don't

I do what the good girls don't

I do what the good girls don't

I do what the good girls don't

I do what the good girls should never ever, never ever do

I do what the good girls should never ever, never ever do

I don't know. I've always kind of been attracted to husky men in hats. (CHUCKLES)

I don't think we're alone

I get ghost with the big checks

I got the ghost

I got the ghost

I hate to DeBarge in. (LAUGHS)

I heard him screaming, so I went to check,

I just made eye contact.

I kinda wish I could've seen it, man.

I know everyone is anxious, but we have to be patient.

I know that if you come and join us here, they are gonna be so pumped.

I know what it does.

I lost my glasses!

I mean, all morning, I've been reading about this stuff.

I mean, I could smell it.

I passed out a bunch of these fliers all over town,

I said, don't answer!

I say we get some drinks and celebrate

I smoke these ghosts like Backwoods

I spoke with Martin Heiss earlier

I think journals tamper with the process and ultimately hurt scientific research.

I would've used aluminum, but I'm crazy

I'll go out with a bang, bang, bang

I'll go out with a bang, bang, bang

I'll go out with a bang, bang, bang

I'm a need my bed

I'm gonna load up the car.

I'm making it official, man.

I'm not afraid, not afraid

I'm not going with you guys.

I'm sorry. Uh, yes. What, um...

I'm the historian at the Aldridge Mansion, and I believe it's haunted.

If it doesn't work, we can just swing it around and break stuff,

If there's something weird and it don't look good

If you see something of true scientific interest in this video,

If you turn around, you'll see me. I'm right behind you.

If you're not gonna move, you're gonna become part of this operation!

In the aftermath of the events,

Is everything a joke to you guys?

Is it more or less disgusting if I tell you it came from the front?

Is it now?

Is scarin ' you the most

Is scaring you the most

It does?

It's a Swiss Army knife

It's about the journey

It's actually a perfect time.

It's brilliant, really

It's called I'm ma Be Me, and I wouldn 't mind playing you the title track

It's gonna maximize flexibility during hand to specter combat.

It's good that it's big, too, 'cause I've got a lot of big ideas I'm going to be spreading.

It's happening.

It's happening.

It's not terrible at all.

It's smooth.

It's the last line of defense betwixt the worlds of the living and the dead.

JENNIFER: No, no. It's just a magic trick. He didn't actually cut her in half.

Just a minor setback.

Just close the door behind you, it'll lock!

Just your mama.

Kevin, it was a ghost.

KEVIN: (ON VOICEMAIL) Ghostbusters

Kids is mean, man. But I believe you.

Kill all them ghosts

Let me have the camera. Thank you.

Let's start light and easy.

Like the peaceful trade between the Lenape Indians and Captain Warren.

Like the rhythm, it makes you feel just a little like lifting off the ground

Look at the ceiling to the floor height!

Look at the view

Look what you made me do!

Lotus Leaf

Man, I said cute. Cute!

Man, I'm gonna tell you right now, y'all, I was hating it up until the finale,

Mine was Woman with a Secret.

Missed me!

Mmm. Mmm hmm.

Mrs. Ponner, this is nothing more than some leakage from our air conditioning.

Ms. Gilbert's association with the Kenneth P

My baby moves at midnight

No!

No.

No. No, no, no.

Nothing's gonna stop me!

Oh, boy.

Oh, cream and sugar

Oh, damn!

Oh, dear brave men and women of the protection services industry,

Oh, Garret, you idiot.

Oh, he dead. That's a dead man

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

Oh, my God, you guys. This is the dude that was at the subway

Oh, my God!

Oh, my...

Oh, nice!

Oh, no!

Oh, right?

Oh, this is fun.

Oh, we're dancing? Okay.

Oh, well, that might be something we want to work on. Oh.

Oh, you gonna get it now!

Oh, you're in no position

Oh.

Okay, I need y'all to get out the way! We need to get up those aisles!

Okay, yep.

Okay.

Okay. All right, Abby, let's reel it in tighter

Okay. That's obviously who I meant. That's...

Okay. Well, that's over.

On the morning of October 25th, 1894, Sir Aldridge awoke, furious,

Over towards the fire.

Ow!

Ow!

Ozzy rocks! Whoo!

Patty, try a little harder, okay?

PATTY: Hey!

PATTY: Sweetie! HOLTZMANN: Two...

PATTY: The portal's closing!

PATTY: Yo, was Thanksgiving like Halloween back in the 1920s?

Pester the living doesn't sound so bad

Physics Department Chair at Columbia University,

Plus Holtzy's hollow beam to this baby, and voilà.

Plus, we weren't invited to any parties.

Quit splitting hairs, okay?

Read that.

Roger.

Room full of nightmares. Not going in there.

ROWAN: Over here

Scares us to the bone

Second floor is mine

See if you can shut that thing down

She's a brilliant engineer and very loyal.

She's corkscrewing me!

She's getting away! Come on!

Since I'm gonna go to hell anyway

Since I'm gonna go to hell anyway

Since I'm gonna go to hell anyway

SINGER: Behold the power of the undead!

Smartin Christ?

So it's tandem parachuting. So you'd be with an instructor.

So you're honestly gonna stand here and tell me that we didn't all see ghosts,

So, tell me, Dr. Heiss, is this for real?

So, what do we think of these Ghostbusters? Are they to be taken seriously? And...

Something more familiar?

Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you about something you wrote.

Sorry, can't buy you another one.

Sorry, Lansing.

Souls which have been cast aside

Souls who see the world as it truly is, as garbage

Thanks for the upgrade

That is more and more unsettling

That one's not ready. It's yours when it is.

That thing is super ionized!

That's good

The equipment on top of that is basically a nuclear reactor.

The ghost

The ghost

The mayor needs a word, ladies.

The mayor thanks you, of course

The one where you were almost killed, remember?

The police are already on their way.

The portal's too strong.

Then we add the reversible psychokinetic energy sync

There is no experimental backing for anything in that book.

They are walking sewage, concerned only with their own trivial matters.

They coming busting in

They knocking at my door

They locked her in this basement.

This guy's making me feel stupider by the second.

This is absolute madness.

This is fun, right?

This isn't very Puritan behavior!

This puppy I like to call a Ghost Chipper.

This... The magazine was here, so, I don't know,

Took 'em all they wanna see while you in town

Uh uh uh uh.

Uh, have you seen a Class 4, semi anchored entity anywhere in the vicinity?

Uh, hi. Hello. Sorry, I didn't know anyone else was here.

Uh, Kevin, I'm gonna need you to pick up all those suitcases.

Uh, maybe something stationary. Like a bull's eye.

Uh, more important question. When did you have time to get a sandwich?

Uh, over here,

Uh, why am I operating the untested nuclear laser?

Uh, you didn't disclose that the vehicle was gonna be a hearse

Uh.

Uh...

Um, good. Really good.

Unless y'all little dainty ass can handle 750 volts

Unlike Columbia, this institute is 100% behind us.

Up in here, up in here

Usually we can't even get people over here.

Very soon.

Wait a minute. What did you do to my uncle's hearse?

WAITRESS 1: So, it's your turn.

We didn't get anything.

We got to be prepared.

We just got to let her ride it out until she's out of juice

We saw a ghost! Oh, my God!

We were just doing some experiments over here

We're actually gonna discuss everything just for a second,

We're... Yes. We're the Ghostbusters.

Well done, Rowan.

Well, I walked in the light and I lived in the sun

Well, it's been a very long day. Why don't you take a seat?

Well, now what?

Well, uh, so I have made the introduction.

Well, uh, what about this one?

What are you talking about? I told you what happened.

What is that?

What is that?

What is...

What year is it?

When we give someone tenure, they represent this institution.

Where's the car?

While y'all over there making out with that dirty piece of garbage,

Who you gonna call?

Who's in the mood to save New York City?

Who's out there? Holtzmann, I swear to God, I...

Whoa. Hey! How you doing, man?

Whoo!

Whoo! (GRUNTS)

Whoop!

Why don't you show Miss Gilbert to the door.

Would you be able to describe it to us?

Wow! What does it do?

Y'all gon' make me go all out

Yankees suck!

Yeah, ghost, yeah

Yeah, I can put some light on that.

Yeah, I know. It was so awesome.

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah.

Yeah. Sorry.

Yep, it is. I have another option, though

You can be like me but I'm a real brat child

You can see clearly there's something in the picture that isn't easily explained.

You can't claim a whole floor.

You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.

You don't find him attractive?

You just got Holtzmanned, baby!

You need me. You need Patty. Patty come with benefits. You need me.

You want some more

You want your little sandwich?

You're like a lawsuit waiting to happen

You're the only one that can do something. Don't...

Your country thanks you.

6th and 26th.

(ELECTRICITY POWERS DOWN) (HOWLING STOPS)

(ENGINE REVVING) KEVIN: Yeah, he does

(FAINT RUMBLING) Oh, no.

(FART PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS) (GASPS)

(GHOSTS LAUGHING) (MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO)

(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING) (CROWD CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

(HOLTZMANN CLEARS THROAT) I'm so sorry I'm late.

(LAUGHTER) Get it. Get it.

(LOW GROWLING) HOLTZMANN: Uh oh.

(LOW RUMBLING) Oh. Ah.

(ROARING) (SCREAMS)

(ROARING) Hurry!

(ROARS) (GASPING)

(ROARS) Whoa!

(SCREECHING) Gotcha. (GASPS)

(SHARP CLANK) Whoa!

(WHOOPS) (MUSIC PLAYING)

Abby, please. (PHONE BEEPS)

ABBY: Come on! (ROARS)

ABBY: Let's do this. Oh, yeah.

Ah. Uh oh, Kev. Stop, Kev.

Am I shouting? Yeah.

Baba Booey! I... I...

But we have never... She came right over to it

Come on! Holtz?

Come on! PATTY: Move, move, move!

DR. FILMORE: Never mind! I don't...

Erin, please get in. ERIN: Holtzmann, this is not the time.

Exactly. ...to yourselves.

Excuse me. Patty,

Guys, we're on TV. Oh. What?

He's creating a vortex. A vortex.

He's in this building right now? Yeah, that guy.

Hello, Patricia

Here you go. Thank you.

Hey! Hey! ERIN: Abby.

I didn't open it. Did you open it? I did not open it.

I don't want this ghost on my wall. MAN: No ghost

I found this in a box when we were moving. Oh, no.

I have some questions. Seriously?

I love your fire! PATTY: Oh, man.

I... My ears just... Mine just popped, too

I'm being specifically clear. Let me. Let me.

In that can? Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

Is it very bad? No.

It's on the other side. In Jersey?

Just for business purposes. Business purposes only.

Kevin? Yes, boss?

Kevin. KEVIN: Yeah.

Kevin. You got the job

Let me fix this, then. PATTY: Well, I..

Martin Heiss. Okay, okay. (SHUSHES) Okay.

My gosh. Thanks so much.

Nice! All right!

No, he's gonna say suck it. He's not gonna say suck it.

No! I know how that guy dances.

No! No, no, no!

Oh, boy! Oh!

Oh. Yes.

Oh. Did you want to... I'm sorry.

Okay. So, what do you know?

Ooh. Mmm.

Para... ...normal...

portable, wearable for maximum flexibility. Wow.

Preach. I will preach.

Stop painting. I'm so sorry

That is strange. HOLTZMANN: I think I know why.

There was a lab incident. But he's gonna wake up

They're real! (MOUSE CLICKS)

Those are great. Yeah

Unlock it. Unlock it. AGENT HAWKINS: Okay, wait. Hold on.

Wait a minute! No!

Watch it. Stop it, Kevin.

We want the visual! No, no, this is very helpful.

What do you think? That's it?

What's up? PATTY: He was, like, standing over here..

Whoa, whoa! No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Yeah. Yeah. We see her now

Yep. ...legit feels like.

...through this slot.

...was awesome!

...with the government trying to claim the event wasn't supernatural,

'Cause I'm telling you right now, if I see two twins from The Shining,

'Cause we are taking this pretty boy back to the lab

'Ey, 'ey, ladies

'Ey. Come on, man.

(ABBY GROANS)

(ABBY GRUNTING)

(ABBY GRUNTS)

(ALL GASPING)

(ALL SHOUT)

(ALL STRAINING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BUILDING CREAKING)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLING)

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(CRACKLING)

(CREAKING CONTINUES)

(CROWD CH EERING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWD MURMURING)

(DEEP CHUCKLING, GROWLING)

(DEEP LAUGHTER)

(DEEP LAUGHTER)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES)

(FLOOR CRACKLING)

(GAGS)

(GARRET EXCLAIMS)

(GASPING)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GHOST SCREECHES, GROWLS)

(GHOSTS GROANING)

(GHOSTS GROWLING)

(GHOSTS WHOOPING)

(GHOSTS WHOOSHING)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLING)

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(HIGH PITCHED SCREAM)

(HORN HONKS)

(HUMMING)

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

(IN SOFT VOICE) Oh, God.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(LAUGHING)

(LIP SYNCING) When it feels like

(LOUD RUMBLING)

(MUFFLED) Mayor Bradley, it's me!

(PANTING)

(PATTY GASPS)

(PATTY SCREAMS)

(PEOPLE GRUNTING)

(PHON ERINGING)

(ROARING)

(ROARING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREECHES)

(SHOUTS)

(SINGING) Huh! Why fear what's around you?

(SINGING) If there's something strange in the neighborhood

(SINGING) Whoo! Y'all gon' make me lose my mind

(SIREN WAILING)

(SNARLS)

(STATIC WHINING)

(STRAINED) I can't move my hand.

(THUMPING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TRAIN HORN BLOWS)

(WHISPERS) I'm talking like you guys.

(WHOOPING)

(WHOOSHING)

(WHOOSHING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(WOMEN GRUNTING)

♪♪

♪♪