Kick-Ass (2010) Soundboard Edit

A bazooka?

A costume vigilante has become the latest Internet phenomenon...

A costumed vigilante has become the latest Internet phenomenon

A worldwide web broadcast of the New York superhero.

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All right, come on. Go ahead.

All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I...

All right, up you get. Come on. Two more rounds and then home

And coming up after the hour

And don't leave a mess.

And I can be that stranger. You just gotta give me a chance.

And if you think I'm gonna make it.

And leap tall buildings in a single bound.

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

And what is this?

And you better start reading the instructions,

Another five keys at half price.

Are you crazy?

Are you looking at me?

Are you okay?

As his actions last night proved. Red Mist, how do you see it?

As opposed to a gunman in the alley.

Balisong. It's Filipino. Ask me another.

Being framed as a drug dealer was the.

Bless your soul.

But all I did was make a door into a.

But don't get me wrong. I like girls my own age, too

But I'm afraid I can't help you on this one.

But it was a start.

But Kick Ass told me we're not the only superheroes in town.

But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind.

But there was one last thing I needed it for.

But you don't pronounce it. Like in the word "Knuckleduster."

Can he hear you? I don't think he can hear you.

Can you think of anything else you'd rather spend it on?

Capes rock.

Check this out

Chris, how long you been there?

Come on in, guys, say hello.

Come on, be honest with yourself

Come on, be honest with yourself.

Come on, be honest with yourself.

Come on, sweet cheeks.

Come on. No, no, no, no, no

Come on. Oh, shit... Please!

Come on... No, no, no, no, no!

Cos I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit.

Dad.

Daddy, look

Daddy, look.

Dave Lizewski. Don't think I haven't noticed you looking at my tits

Dave, hey

Dave.

Dead? How?

Defending the citizens of New York from the forces of evil.

Despite initial speculation that this may be some kind of hoax...

Did you watch the TV? The new superhero guy?

Do it.

Do you hear me? They're on to you.

Dude, not again, come on.

Dude, that is one gay looking Taser

Due to the distressing nature of the images...

Eeny, meeny..

Ever since I was little I've always wanted a friend..

Exactly.

Excellent, good

Excellent, good.

Finding you was way too easy.

Fire is our friend.

Fire. Fire is good.

For emergencies when I'm driving around.

Frank, Frank, Frank, come on, he's had enough. Come on.

Frank, we're ready. Enjoy the show.

Frank.

Fuck!

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck. Shit. Damn.

Gentlemen, please.

Get the lighter!

Glory, glory, hallelujah.

Go ahead, boys.

Go to Robin's Revenge!

Good job.

Guess who?

Had I ever been a real superhero?

Had some bad motherfuckers for friends, and they think we did that shit.

Have a good night.

Have a nice day

He can catch a bullet,

He did very good. Don't kill him till I get there.

He has powers far beyond the capabilities of mere earthlings.

He must be someone's son, someone's brother,

He must have taken that right before he died

He should call himselfAss Kick instead.

He would have been proud of both of us.

He's fine

He's got a way better costume than Kick Ass, too.

He's his father's son.

Hey

Hey

Hey, asshole, you can't use the front door now.

Hey, come on.

Hey, get up.

Hey, I got one of those.

Hey, Joe, yeah

Hey, Kick Ass.

Hey, new kid.

Hey, you're crazy. Please!

Hey! Call 911!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, I'm Hit Girl.

Hi.

Hi.

His truth is marching on.

Hold him.

Hold him.

Hold on, you're telling me one guy killed 8 of my men tonight?

Holy fuck, Fashion, everybody's dead.

How about both of us being dead? Is that serious enough for you?

How about that, huh?

How you doing?

Hurry up, man.

I always wanted to say this...

I always wondered why nobody did it before me

I can't believe I got my gun back. Look at that.

I can't believe you're here, man. Like, you're my hero.

I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder,

I didn't say anything to anyone, I swear.

I didn't say he looked like Batman.

I didn't say we should talk to him. I just..

I don't fucking believe this.

I don't know if I was everything Katie dreamed her gay bff would be...

I don't... I don't mind you talking business, Dad.

I feel a little weed takes the edge off things when I'm on patrol, you know?

I for one would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance.

I got 100 guys can fix a problem, you'd hire some putz in pantyhose?

I got why people didn't risk their lives for strangers.

I gotta send a public service message to the people out there..

I guess I was the last person you'd expect to become a superhero.

I hadn't even checked the website for, like, a week

I just can't believe he's dead, that's all.

I just need to clean my...

I know I can do it. I just need a few things.

I know this sounds fucked up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture...

I mean your real name.

I mean, they're both kind of hot. I just think Red Mist has a better body.

I miss you both.

I need you to get rid of Kick Ass.

I never play.

I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy.

I swear, Dad, if you let me do this, it's gonna work.

I swear, when my hormones balance out,

I think you must be confusing me with someone who

I was back and running Kick Ass version 2.0

I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit

I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit.

I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your 'business' where I'm not wanted

I'm Ki... I'm a friend of Katie's.

I'm Kick Ass

I'm Kick Ass.

I'm Kick Ass. Look me up.

I'm not saying there was anything wrong with me,

I'm right here now, baby

I'm sorry

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm telling you, the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get.

I'm... I'm a friend of Katie's.

I've a message for Rasul about Katie Deauxma.

If they didn't, he will.

Ignore him...

In the ambulance they threw my clothes away because of the blood.

In the shape of a giant cock.

Is he the kind of guy you'd go for, with all that leather?

Is it okay to say that? That's not homophobic, is it?

Is that what I think it is?

Is that what I think it is?

Is there anybody else? Any family or..

It's 300,000 bucks.

It's in the shape of a giant cock.

It's on the floor right over there. Find the lighter

It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye bye.

It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye bye.

Jimmy.

Joe, you're in charge

Joe, you're in charge.

Just the perfect combination of optimism and naivety.

Just walk away from the car and we can forget about this.

Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee.

Katie?

Kerosene. Yes, the silent killer.

Kick Ass, I'm sorry, I...

Kick Ass, I'm sorry!

Kick Ass?

Kick Ass.

Kick in my bedroom door and you'll probably find me watching TV...

Kids nowadays in their tights

Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll?

Kill my men, huh? Take my fucking coke!

Kind of fun, huh? Now you know how it feels.

Leave him alone!

Let me tell you the problem I got with that, Tre.

Like what?

Listen, they're on to you. Do you hear me?

Look,