M*A*S*H - Season 1 Edit

A bouncing baby veal——

A boxing tournament?

A career in medicine...

A cease—fire? General, are you sure?

A complexity that adds up to actual simplicity.

A Dearjohn recording.

A few days.

A frame—up? You‘re living in a fool‘s paranoid.

A girl can only take so much.

A girl with a face that doesn‘t quit.

A girl with so much body, she should be continued on the next girl

A glass stomach?

A guy told me that he was crossing the road,

A horseshoe is gauche. Ether is subtle.

A I 00 [jokes for the Officer’s Mess. " He‘s got everything here but Clause witz on Hernia.

A karate chop to his reality.

A lawyer, an engineer.

A little louder. The cook didn‘t hearyou.

A little obvious.

A little small for him, don‘t you think?

A little trouble with your what?

A major?

A man of your importance shouldn’t be sitting behind a piece of furniture like this.

A most perplexing riddle,

A nearsighted, prepubescent corporal with six toes on each foot?

A nice guy whose only purpose in life is to get out ofthe army——

A nurse said? You‘re placing me under a nurse?

A phony?

A purpose shared by three or four million ofus...

A real cutup——

A reminder that the cease—fire is not officially in effect.

A Sato Tanaka double—cammed reel...

A subtle drum brush for counterpoint.

A t this particular mobile army hospital,

A teensy—weensy fiush.

A transplant we‘d like to experiment with, and you‘rejust the right type.

A ttention, a// personnel. Casualties in the compound

A ttention, all personnel.

A very exciting man.

A very special item that would enhance this office and give it what it cries out for:

A white wedding gown?

A whole stack is worth a million,

A woman of considerable passion, she is also a stick/er for military correctness.

A Yankee Doodle Doctor!

Aah!

Aah! Don‘t press the ice in my eye!

Abdominal cramps, chills, high fever.

Abdominal pain, elevated white count. |can‘t nail it down.

About 750 bucks.

About Colonel Brighton, sir, Pierce and McIntyre might be deliberate——

About three feet, sir.

About what a twisted, selfish, mean—spirited, overbearing fusspot you are.

About your patient, Colonel Brighton.

Absolutely

Absolutely and irrevocably, yes.

According to this, your blood should have whitecaps.

Ace bets a dollar, blind.

Ace—king, possible straight.

Aces up.

Achemical which is at this moment...

Action !

Actually, he was one of the hardest working...

Actually, I have a wish to propose——

Actually, I took the liberty ofwearing them last night.

Actually, I was on the outside, fixing a hole in the tent.

Actually, I was thinking about three days.

Actually, I‘m in pain most ofthe time.

Actually, I‘m pursuing my lifelong quest for the perfect,

Actually, I‘m trying to make some time with this lieutenant person.

Actually, it‘s modeled on the Chicago sewer system. We saw it in a magazine.

Actually, it‘s past crazy. It‘s taken a left turn into ludicrous.

Actually, sir, he‘s with the CIA, and he‘s on a case at this very moment.

Actually, this is a very nice bottle ofwine.

Affectionately, your friend, Henry Blake.”

After all, her affairs are her own affairs.

After i 8 hours in an operating room, where do you find the energy?

After my first autopsy, I mailed him a nervous system

After one day with Frank, the bears attacked the Gypsies.

After that, we operate and sinkyour fioating kidney.

After the mortar barrage last night, we got a 1 9th and 20th hole.

Afteryou give me that underwear!

Agenuine American antique desk.

Ah ! Got ya.

Ah—ah—ah. Don‘t get up.

Ah, $309.68, Hawkeye.

Ah, Bach.

Ah, casualties are part ofthe game.

Ah, Corporal Klinger. Ready for duty, | see.

Ah, excuse me.

Ah, going out tonight, Frank?

Ah, I see the mark ofthe mad butcher.

Ah, nobody cares.

Ah, Pierce, I thinkthat——

Ah, sign what, Radar?

Ah, the North didn‘t do it. He did.

Ah, the symphony begins.

Ah, too rich for me.

Ah, where is it? There it is.

Ah, why don‘t we have a song?

Ah, you save that stuff for the sick guys.

Ah! Frank, you‘re notjealous.

Ah! I‘ve been on fire all day.

Ahh, that‘s coffee.

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Aj—— Frank!

Ajeep must‘ve rolled loose and broke through his tent.

Alan Alda.

All diamonds. He’s got the two, three, four and five...

All materiel and equipment remain the property ofthe United States Army.

All mixed—up. Doesn‘t know whether she‘s coming or going.

All ofit heart: Kid Doctor!

All ofit.

All ofwhich means what?

All other activities are cancelled.

All personne/ report to surgery

All personnel are ordered to continue regular duties until further notice.

All personnel report on the double.

All personnel, report to surgery imm edia te/y!

All ready to go out and kill me some more gooks, sir.

All right ? Get in the truck, Radar. All right. Okay.

All right now, listen carefully!

All right now. Who took my spoon?

All right, bub. Put your underwear where your mouth is.

All right, come on, fellas. When can I get back to my men?

All right, cut. Save the lights. Beautiful.

All right, fellas. I want a good, clean fight.

All right, folks. We‘ll have our film now.

All right, Frank. You got me up, but you‘d better have a good reason.

All right, give me a clamp. Come on. Give me a clamp.

All right, Henry, let‘s skip the gristle and get right down to the bone.

All right, I‘ll get right into this.

All right, let me see—— blankets, powdered milk, penicillin.

All right, look, we can have time to do this and still be crocked before dinner.

All right, look, we‘ve been had. The picture‘s finished, and that‘s that

All right, now that we all know the procedure, let‘s go for keeps.

All right, nowa little something for Hot Lips.

All right, okay. Try this. Try this.

All right, okay. Unhook him, and get him outta here.

All right, people. Let‘s settle down.

All right, Radar, take a piece of paper...

All right, same orders, Lieutenant.

All right, Sister Theresa, all set.

All right, we‘ll have Radar print up some tickets, and you make up a sign.

All right, what‘s all that funny business there?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Calm down. I‘m as offended as you are by this repulsive tidiness.

All right. Keep pushing the plasma. Get me some O—negative blood on the double.

All right. Let‘s go.

All right. Now paragraph two.

All right. Okay.

All right. Okay. Down, Henry. Down.

All right. Okay. He‘s out ofdanger for the time being. Get Spearchucker to finish him.

All right. Thanks.

All right. This isjust a practice fight.

All right. Try not to move.

All right. Where do we put him?

All shifts report to operating room. All shifts. On the double.

All shifts report to operating room. All shifts. On the double.

All that kneeling.

All the bedpans have already been emptied.

All the ladies of the ensemble...

All the wealth I want you can find in here.

All the wealth I want you can find in here.

All we know is it‘s a spring—cylinder type.

All week long, every time I‘ve wanted to be alone with you,

Almost forgot your equipment, sir.

Almost spiritual relationship.

Along with the company ofone ofour nurses...

Also had a motive ofjealousy,

Also, the Navy fumbled. The Army‘s got the ball on the 35.

Although / wouldn’t mind being paid for playing doctor. lcan tell you that.

Although I don‘t know anybody else who would.

Although I ratheryou didn‘t. I keep telling everybody| wanna be alone.

Although yourthigh is fine, because you‘re not suffering any leg lag.

Always ready to receive those G./. ’5 who need medical help.

Am | dismissed?

Am I late? I had to change.

Am I signing?

Amen.

Among the thousands of brave Americans...

An ace...

An Eagle Scout, he ain‘t.

An officer should respect himself and the men he commands——

An unexploded bomb.

And “I‘m in the Mood for Love."

And / ’ll get him for it. "

And / don’t know what we ’d do without Henry..

And | thinkl may have hit upon the perfect formula.

And |, uh, wanna get a blood count, so bring me the tubes right away, okay?

And $1 0 for the winning ticket.

And 5 ulli i/an.

And a distillery!

And a great nurse.

And a pencil and sit down.

And after all, Henry, you deserve all this. You built a great surgical unit.

And agree that the beginning ofthe end is in sight.”

And ajack of... spades.

And ajack of... spades.

And all ofa sudden, poof, a star is born.

And along with that,

And also six copies of the supply room application forms.

And as for my ability as a doctor,

And as of right now, I don‘t know either one ofyou.

And as such is to be used for the official duties thereof and nothing else.

And at the end ofthe game, we‘ll settle for half.

And be sure and keep them cigarettes under lock and key. Understood?

And being impossible with my receptionist...

And carefully cut the wires...

And Clayton‘s got my butt in his gun sight.

And Colonel Blake in particular,

And come in.

And committed a neatness.

And contact me the minute you get one. You‘re a damn good surgeon.

And didn‘t get an adolescent crush on a leg oflamb.

And do a commercial foryour friendly American war.

And do you know what I would prescribe?

And doctors, besides.

And don‘t ask me again howl feel, because you have...

And don‘t call me knucklehead!

And don‘t stop the meter.

And each one is worse than the one before.

And every time| suck air it‘s a new adventure in pain.

And figure "5 " is engaged to figure "D" .7

And finally, you are a total and definitive pain in the gluteus maximus.

And found out he was mailing a jeep home, piece b y piece.

And found this mess.

And Frank was only interested in her bones.

And garbage.

And get thrown out of the Cad Society?

And get your feet off my desk! So I‘m withdrawing the weekend passes.

And grace and aptitude attractive...

And have the results back here in two hours.

And having him think ofme asjust another guy.

And he answered promptly once a month...

And he doesn’t even know / eXIst.

And he wants us to put up a boxer.

And he‘s ajudge now.

And he‘s not even supposed to look at a women until after the fight.

And he’s only I 5 years old, and he ’5 going back home where he belongs.

And here they are, those doctors of rhythm...

And his pulse and his pressure should be stabilized.

And how when you came to, you thought—— you thought you had four broken limbs.

And hung you from the ceiling in traction ropes.

And I already had a $35,000 house and two cars.

And I am grateful.

And I can treat kids for mumps instead ofshrapnel.

And I didn‘t even know they were in season.

And I don‘t exactly sit around my room playing the kazoo.

And I dreamt it while I was awake!

And I found the wiring and the alarm clock bits.

And I have lived up to mine.

And I have never...

And I hope your shower cap springs a leak.

And I intend to press charges the minute I‘m sober.

And I looked through this dirty book| found hidden on your shelf behind Arrowsmith.

And I think it‘s only fitting that the man who knew him best,

And I wanna know what you guys are doing every step ofthe way.

And I was sent two boxes of ordinary cotton thread.

And I wasn‘t any too happy about the party taking place in my absence.

And I won‘t even mention your name in my note.

And I‘d like to get to know you better in the short time we have left.

And I‘ll bite your chest right through your shirt.

And I‘ll file a countercomplaint against Burns‘ impersonating a surgeon...

And I‘m crying.

And I‘m only using one lip.

And I‘m only using one lip.

And I‘m sleeping with a loaded baseball bat under my pillow,

And I‘m the only one authorized to call meetings.

And I‘ve been working at the headquarters hospital in Seoul.

And I‘ve got dimples on my butt. None of that means anything around here, Frank.

And I‘ve got dimples on my butt. None of that means anything around here, Frank.

And I‘ve got the London Symphony playing Tchaikovsky.

And ifanybody can spot a phony——

And ifyou‘re smart, you‘ll see your dentist right away.

And in recognition of this splendid achie i/ement,

And in this corner,

And initial the carbon copies.

And invite all thejokers from the north and the south in here to a cocktail party.

And it is fitting that we pause to offer a prayer ofthanksgiving...

And it‘ll be over in seconds.

And it‘s essential we show the Koreans democratic plumbing in action.

And it‘s gonna take ‘em at least a week to regroup.

And it‘s none of my business.

And keep his camera guy here and all his equipment?

And leaving this place run by that maniac you appointed chiefsurgeon?

And let us go to the river and watch the submarine races.

And let‘s not forget this little old |.O.U. for 1,200.

And lets you get in front ofhim in chow line, he‘s a pushover.

And loaded with emotion.

And look at all ofyou—— unshaven, out ofuniform.

And loving every minute ofit.

And Major Houlihan, ofcourse, will be sitting next to the general.

And masquerading as a human being.

And may the best man win.

And maybe it isn‘t.

And maybe the whole day.

And me. Yes, sirree. In person, jackie Flash,

And mind your own beeswax!

And my 30—foot yacht...

And my familywill have left without any forwarding address.

And no Hot Lips.

And no meat cutter with a temporary commission is gonna work me over.

And no Seymour and no nobody else.

And not because she‘s left—handed.

And nothing walks faster than a bacteria. Bacterium.

And now he shows every sign ofserum hepatitis.

And now, on with the secular festivities!

And now, the incomparable Lieutenant Dish.

And now, the silver vibes of the gentle swizzle stick. Ho—jon?

And now...

And of course, me,

And ofcourse, I never travel anywhere without good oldjohann Sebastian.

And on the way back to her family by tomorrow morning—— dismissed.

And our l

And personally give Captain Tuttle a decoration.

And Pierce and McIntyre have broken mine.

And que sera, sera.

And Radartold him, “We don‘t deliver.”

And retrieve his ill—gotten booty,

And right here is where you‘ll serve your time.

And rule number one is: Young men die.

And run up your pants leg.

And secondly, I would like to present a pictorial tribute...

And shine my other boats.

And so does this little movie show and Lieutenant Bricker.

And someone who wishes to remain anonymous...

And standing in the corner wondering ifhe‘ll ever come home?

And stay offyour knees.

And stealing my poker winnings!

And Tanker starts offand hits the ground screaming,

And tell him to be more careful next time.

And that /’m completely worthy of the most wonderful guy in the world .7”

And that febrile idiot didn‘t hold four tens against our throats...

And that I‘ll call her and that all my labor pains have stopped.

And that means that Ho—jon‘s college career is offto a flying start!

And that‘s impossible with all this killing.

And the aforementioned guilty party may now return the things.

And the bristles where you shave your earlobes.

And the Chinese communists are out of bounds on the right.

And the first—largest producer of Koreans.

And the last thing I need in this world is trouble from...

And The Major Was a Miner,

And the only way out of here is through our own mine field.

And the reds are worth a dollar.

And the secret ofmaking it better...

And the underwear has been 5a i/ed/

And the winner is...

And the winner of the football pool is...

And then after that, it‘sjust soft,

And then gives it offto Tanker.

And then one ofour kids needs it...

And then set both your arms and legs in plaster...

And then Seymour was drafted.

And then sign this form signifying that you signed what you should‘ve initialed.

And then the cops brought him to the woods hoping the bears would raise him.

And then there are those of us who got it both ways.

And then we could have a whole long lunch together.

And then when you look over, she turns away.

And then, nothing.

And there‘s no sense in opening that.

And they drew fangs on my picture ofSenator McCarthy.

And they had to call in a psychiatrist.

And they‘re gonna make that movie at some other MASH outfit.

And they‘rejohns. That‘s them, all right. I guess they‘re his.

And this morning, General Clayton called for the monthly report,

And this nurse and I are going out and do some nature study.

And thisjeep came too close to him.

And those are your good points. You‘re also surgically incompetent.

And three arrests:

And Trapper and I come out and look him over before they take him away.

And try this one.

And turning gray over my wife‘s checking account...

And very good with tools, uh, like a surgeon, got——

And very hard to prove.

And walk out on Deborah Paget?

And wants to get married,

And was perhaps short enough to go unnoticed.

And we all know what kind ofa man that is, don‘t we?

And We always tried to mark every memorable occasion...

And we can use all the help we can get.

And we‘re all out ofNorth Koreans!

And were bobbing for olives.

And what about tonight? Where were you tonight when that jeep went through my quarters?

And what makes you thinkyou‘re not?

And when you meet people, don‘t look down.

And why do | get the funny feeling it‘s gonna be you?

And will you look at this?

And with a corresponding reduction in pay, ofcourse.

And you can have some vegetables or some gravy that won‘t hurt you...

And you can‘t hold me up. I‘m a major!

And you don‘t see me falling apart.

And you don‘t think that he might leave the movie?

And you drinkitwhile staring at a picture...

And you go into the stockade. Yes siree, Bob!

And you got that from an expert on the subject.

And you had it stuffed just for me.

And you look for a broken—down, dirty, old man and follow him.

And you look into those cool, killer eyes of hers...

And you said there was no Santa Claus, huh?

And you swell gals who...

And you tell her I‘ll be right there.

And you tow the line, all ofyou. And no more horsing around. Understood?

And you two will be ship‘s doctors on a garbage scow somewhere.

And you want me to take you to the senior prom, right?

And you would do very well to keep your stories to yourself...

And you, Captain, you will have to find some other means oftransportation.

And you‘ll have to see me every day.

And you‘re going to be sent to the stockade for this!

And your country club and your friends...

And your footlocker was the safest place to hide things.

And your house and your two cars...

And your way oflife and your...

And your your your turning this place into a brothel!

And—and everyone will be offthe hook?

And, ofcourse, we‘re mighty proud to be able to deliver it.

And, uh, figure ”B,”

And, uh, General Clayton said he couldn‘t make a better choice...

And, uh, in here...

And, uh, Major Burns, you‘ll be sitting right there.

And, uh, that‘s it.

Andjust relax.

Andjust uses me as a front.

Animals.

Another clamp. Will you move! Come on!

Another day of bed rest. Continue |.V.s.

Another one ofthose degenerates, right?

Anterior vertebral body is fractured.

Any good ?

Any luck, dear—— Oh! General. I‘m sorry, sir. |thought——

Any minute now, pretty soon, sir

Any rumors regarding a cease—fire are not official.

Any time I‘m not indoors, that‘s where you‘ll find me.

Anybody can step on the gas instead ofthe brake.

Anybody hear how the game turned out?

Anybody out there, or have we been captured?

Anyone found in possession ofsaid property...

Anything new develop while I was gone, Radar?

Anything wrong?

Anytime, Doc.

Anytime, love. In fact, maybe even later today.

Anyway, Crazy snaps one off, throws a bomb to Tanker Washington.

Anyway, he wants, uh, you to have this token ofhis undying gratitude.

Anyway, Tanker‘s hurt. Twisted his ankle.

Apologize ?

Are discussing the possibility ofa surrender.

Are greed, fear and greed.

Are studying the treatment ofcardiac arrests.

Are we interrupting anything?

Are you absolutely certain I have to be checked out for small arms proficiency?

Are you crazy? I‘m a happily married man.

Are you going to enforce the regulations or try to lose it in the shuffle?

Are you gonna take care ofhim, or are you gonna go on playing poker?

Are you kidding .7

Are you nuts? Move out.

Are you sure you don‘t love me just for my body?

Are you sure?

Are you the Yankee Doodle Doctor?

Are your transmitter codes.

Aren‘t you guys afraid ofsitting with me?

Aren‘t you stretching things a bit?

Areyou all right?

As / wrote you earlier, he ’5 de veloped a thriving

As a commanding officer, well, it’s a bit like being on a sinking liner,

As a little token of my admiration,

As a matter offact, I did dramatics in high school too.

As any other regimental commander while only gaining halfthe ground.

As commanding officer,

As I remember, I couldn‘t punish you then because your wife hadjust died.

As in you and me, as in “us“? Never mind.

As it stated, in the interest ofmorale and unity——

As it was to me, their leader.

As l’ve written you, Frank Burns and Hot Lips have been an item over here...

As one ofthousands of, uh, brave Americans...

As opposed to 24 hours.

As rough as it‘s been sometimes, |think|‘|l miss you.

As soon as / can give them a belie i/able explanation.

As sure as Niagara Falls.

As we prepare to witness this 53rd gridiron classic.

As we‘re both medical people I‘ll speak professionally.

As with everything else, it‘s all in here.

Ask Colonel Blake. He‘s the one who puts notches in his scalpel.

Ask him if he‘s comfortable.

At Custer‘s last stand.

At ease

At ease, men.

At last, after almost three straight days ofmeatball surgery.

At least / didn’t last Wednesday

At least she didn‘t have any trouble figuring out your sex.

At least until your stitches heal?

At leasta slip.

At the draft board, I ate the eye chart,

At this end of the draft board

Atriple, I think.

Attacked Hill 55 about an hour ago.

Attention, all personnel.

Attention: a change in the duty roster!

Auburn hair, hazel eyes.

Autographed?

Aw, come on, Frank!

Aw, he‘s your basic moose owner.

Aw, thanks. I taught that kid laundry, cooking, sewing.

Aw.

Aye, aye, sir.

Aye, aye, sir.

Baby straight.

Bach is easy. |fshe brings him up, youjust smile and you say,

Back home I could be giving some nice blue—haired lady a hysterectomy.

Bad enough.

Bad man go away.

Bad news from my wife.

Baker, would you be interested in selling Young Hi?

Baker‘s colonel has a moose ofhis own.

Barring the arrival of new casualties, at 2 I 00 hours tonight,

Be offthe base in 24 hours, and never——

Be right back.

Be sure to see it with someone you love.

Be sure to state your age and sex at the time ofyour last birthday.

Be that as it may, if| don‘t do something about this,

Be with you as soon as I can.

Because a lot of these kids who can stand two hours on the table...

Because I have got to shoot some targets...

Because I share my affections among the ladies.

Because I took the precaution oftreating the stolen articles...

Because I won‘t sell out.

Because ifit‘s not, the truck takes off, and | sell to my other buyer.

Because inaccessible as she is to everybody else in this cruddy outfit,

Because neither the major nor| remember having seen him, and that strikes us as very strange.

Because ofhis consistent losses at the gaming tables.

Because she senses the presence of her frequent partner...

Because this is when the whole thing hits the fan.

Because we both know what operators they are.

Because we‘re beating ‘em 1 4 to nothing.

Because we‘re symbols of——

Because you keep asking for the wrong instruments.

Because you‘re a doctor.

Because| don‘t like the way he‘s breathing.

Before bringing on our all—star attraction...

Before Sister Theresa can get her next batch ofsupplies.

Before you declare each other fit?

Before you go, we want you to arrange for a few days for us at the R&R center.

Beg your pardon?

Being single, it never seemed a wise move.

Being so far from home at Christmas is kind ofrough on them.

Believe me, Frank, that‘s the last thing we love about you. Go to sleep.

Besides, it’s bad for the health.

Bet it doesn‘t.

Bet this looks funny.

Better check with your patient on that.

Better let me give you a hand, Sergeant.

Better! My back really feels better.

Between the bubbling ofthe still and the clicking ofthe poker chips,

Between these two US. Army majors.

Between your snide remarks and your corruption of Ho—jon...

Bingo.

Blood‘s for me. I‘m anemic. Henry, I need your help.

Bloody arrogant, demanding, distracting and dumb.

Blow out the candles.

Bomb‘s got to go off. I never had such a good hand.

Boo !

Boom.

Bored right out of our skulls. "

Both day and night shifts...

Both ofyou.

Box 743——

Boy, | live for the day when you guys are out of my life.

Boy, do I know when to come into a room.

Boy, have| been looking forward to this.

Boy, you guys are impossible.

Boy, you guys sure know how to reach somebody.

Boy, you guysjust don‘t get it, do you? The party is over!

Boy, your unselfishness is touching.

Brave ofyou to be so swell.

Bravo! Bravo! Encore!

Breaking orders by having this party.

Breathe deeply! Run ! Move it!

Bricker. Bricker.

Bride of the Gorilla and Bonzo Goes to College.

Brigadier General Clayton

Brigadier General Clayton.

Buddies ?

Burns says the operating room is becoming impossible.

Business unfortunate/y remains very brisk.

But ”Mrs.” sounds so nice in front ofit.

But / ’m mighty grateful to all ofyou,

But / can ’t wait to get home and find out. "

But / don’t knowhow to do that and salute her at the same time.

But / never tell him, ’cause / don’t want to foul up his humility

But a cease—fire has been arranged.

But a// kidding aside, / just wanna say to a// you guys and nurses...

But according to your accident report, you tripped in the mud...

But after all, fair is fair. Don‘t you agree?

But as soon as she‘s gone, we dirty up thejoint and get back to normal.

But don‘t tell him a mere captain saved his life. He might not pay his bill.

But don‘t tell the house mother.

But don’t muck about He ’5 got a high fe i/er.

But figure ”A” can‘t keep his hands offoffigure ”B,” because she‘s got such a great figure.

But figure ”A” is already married to, say, figure ”,"C

But first I gotta tell you about Charley the drummer.

But first, remove the fuse.

But forgive a rusty old doctor, will you?

But he was one ofthe great milk monitors I‘ve ever seen.

But he‘s been putting aside his nickels and pennies...

But he‘s nothing in a tight sweater.

But he‘s only got eyes for Hot Lips.

But Hot Lips argued that she had a brain...

But I can see it‘s time to go, because they‘re winding up the rubber band on the airplane.

But I didn‘t send foryou, Major. Really.

But I don‘t believe Freud ever mentioned ”chicken.” Do you, Doctor?

But I guess you have to charge it up to old Mother Nature.

But I have never swilled.

But I have to ! When a man‘s in pain, he has to moan.

But I mean, everything was really fine before it got terrible.

But I think it may have been too much for him...

But I‘ll feel better once I desert.

But I‘ll feel better once I desert.

But I‘m also tired and a little leery.

But I‘m sureyou‘ll be walking around in two weeks.

But I‘ve got a reputation and a civilian practice to think about...

But ifit is possible for one person to read another person‘s mind...

But ifit must occur——

But ifyou don‘t move, I‘m gonna have to cut around your ” B” cups.

But inside that colonel, there‘s a private...

But it can‘t be from Frank‘s blood. Not that fast.

But it doesn‘t explain your rather erratic behavior of late.

But it was locked up, and then someone who‘s very good with his hands...

But it was the last thing Frank would admit.

But it‘s a lot more fun than the war.

But it‘s another to get your picture in the paper doing it.

But it‘s irregular.

But it‘s nice you could smile in Korean.

But it‘s such a commercial foryourself.

But it‘s such a commercial foryourself.

But let me say this,

But let us not forget Major Houlihan.

But let‘s hope I meet him before he gets drafted and sent over here.

But more about old Henry later.

But most ofhim is still hangin‘ out.

But not before I tell you to give up the luxury oftrying to be Dr. Perfect...

But now we can operate safely and quickly.

But Pierce has always been a rock.

But really, though, I know how hard you medics and nurses really work. I really do.

But right now we got ajob to do and we‘re a little shorthanded around here,

But save one print for me.

But she didn’t understand why she had to take offher clothes.

But she has a gift for calamity.

But she says ifyou don‘t come, she‘s gonna inform General Clayton.

But she‘s already straightened out my screw ball.

But should I have really signed blank papers?

But the army‘s orders are to stay.

But the time has come to unmask the guilty party——

But the vital work they do.

But then no war is a movie.

But then those kids down there are in the last place they ever figured.

But then, he gets a lot of practice while he‘s awake.

But there could be only one choice.

But they cleaned us out of hydrocortisone, and that we need, bad.

But they‘ll see us... dressed like this...

But this time I got to back Frank up.

But underneath that, there‘s another me.

But we can still make dinner. It‘s not till tomorrow.

But we didn‘t forget our star patient.

But we really can ’t tell

But we want to send you back confident and strong.

But we‘ll try to be finished by the time you get back.

But what can I do about it?

But where did you get it?

But whereveryou are, Radar‘s sure to follow.

But whose? Who‘s the author ofall this generosity?

But why don‘t we not pretend anymore, huh?

But with dignity.

But with that bomb out there,

But you did use all the right words:

But you have left me no alternative but to conduct a tent—by—tent search...

But you know how the work piles up around here.

But you see...

But you, that is to say the guilty one ofyou,

But your mind is 4—F.

But your warm side had an even warmer side.

But, Doctor, what about the anesthesia?

But, doing meatball surgery, you either develop a thick skin...

But, Frank, I‘m all packed. What do you mean we‘re not leaving?

But, Frank, why? Have I done something to displease you?

But, sir, |—— but, sir——

But, uh, my stufftoo? Well, I mean, |——

But, um, he was swacked when he did an appendectomy on a general‘s wife.

But... you‘ve come to take me?

Butl mean beautiful. I mean, she‘s built like a brick hospital.

Butl need Dr. Pierce. He‘s the only one who can help me.

Buttering our bread every morning with D.D.T. powder.

Butyou lay offhim, all ofyou.

Buzz Brighton has lost all confidence in himself,

Buzz, I want to helpyou.

Buzz, look, we‘ve been going over your whole history.

Buzz, uh, where are you going?

By making Radar fake an illness?

By midnight, this place‘ll be flooded with casualties.

By order of the acting commanding officer, Major Franl< Burns.

By that time, he will have been given his blood,

By the way, did you know soap was a four—letter word ?

By the way, how are your hands?

By the way, I loved you in Duck Soup.

By the way, what happens ifthe bomb doesn‘t go off?

Bye, Doctors.

Bye.

C. Wood

Call everyone to attention. A t ease, men. Everyone be seated

Call me at halftime, will you, Captain?

Call me Tiger.

Calling for the most ingenious ofsolutions.

Can I buyyou a drink, big boy san?

Can I get you some pie?

Can I getyou anything?

Can I have some more, uh, pie for Nurse Beddoes, Sergeant?

Can I help it ifthe war gives me an appetite?

Can I keep my bandana?

Can I kiss your ear and make it better?

Can I say that to a girl I hardly know?

Can I see you for a second, Hawkeye?

Can she speak English, Radar?

Can we consider this a confessional?

Can we go to your tent, please? I‘ve got something I want you to see.

Can you believe that creep?

Can you do that and walk at the same time?

Can you give me a hand with this resection?

Can you imagine that?

Can you imagine? Can you imagine?

Can you make it into a table, or do you want us to carryyou?

Can you speak up?

Can‘t be too careful. A friend ofmine got his orders, broke his leg the next day.

Can‘t help it, Frank. We‘re the crazy generation.

Can‘t you do it without touching me?

Can‘t you guys do that somewhere else?

Can‘t you put your hostility aside for one minute?

Captain 5pearchucl

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce, our new chiefsurgeon.

Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce. Who are you, Sarge?

Captain Hawkeye Pierce.

Captain jonathan Tutt/e will report to Colonel Henry Blake on the double.

Captain jonathan Tutt/e, report at once.

Captain Kaplan? Pile in, sir.

Captain Pierce constantly calls me by my first name.”

Captain Pierce went to get him, sir.

Captain Pierce, Captain McIntyre, report to surgery!

Captain Pierce, deliver the eulogy

Captain Pierce!