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Home > Max and Paddy's Road To...
And what's that supposed to mean?
Arming the Invader
Bit of manners cost nothing
Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan? I bet Osama's had a bath in that
Car alarm sound
Checkout supervisor, really?
Come ere
Come ere!
Come here, I'll rip your bastard head off! Paddy has needs!
Do we?
Get back you bastard, I'll break yer legs!
Get that fucking cooker on!
Good morning anals! Good morning Charlie
Have you got any of them big tellies?
Have you got any plasma screens?
He's a case isn't he? Crackers that lad
Hello boys!
Hey hey hey hey, yeah?
Ho ho ho
How dare you?
How dare you?
How dare you?
I am not watching Charlie's Anals like that
I like a girl with special needs
I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic
I've got a beautiful 22" Futaba back there
In a nutshell, you stink
It is now alarmed, and any exterior force will trigger it
It's like living with a bloody woman
No wonder we're eating Big Bob's Bastard Beans
Oh aye, we've got to get a bit of porn on that for the lads
Oh Jesus no
Oh no, I don't mean a girl with special needs
Oh yeah
Oh yes here we go, Ding Dang Do
Oh yes, the old shore leave, batten down the hatches and all that
Oh you're on your arse!
Pleasures of the flesh Max!
Smell of perfume wafting over the nostrils, feel of bare skin against your teeth
Speaking of arses
That's the thing, I can't. Well, I can and I can't
The difference between the Invader 2000 and any other bog standard security systems, is that you've got the facility to record and personalise your alarm
This is the front room, that's my room. Tour over
Want to give her a go?
Well let's go out dressed as a couple of Nazis then, see how far we get
What we need is a bit of fun and games, ho ho ho
What we're watching won't be for the families my friend, do you know what I'm saying, two grown men away from home, ho ho ho
What's that?
Why do you keep buying cheap crap? Bloody 4p means and Al Qaeda water.
You can forget that
You what?