The Muppet Show (1976) - Season 4 Edit

A "pine" in the neck.

A gorilla, terrific.

A ha. Say goodbye forever to dull bananas.

A heartless, power mad fiend who hides behind an impenetrable mask.

A lizard.

A wonderful thing has just happened.

About spending a weekend in the swamp with vous,

After all, you are the head honcho.

Ah, you look like you're running away.

Ah. Here she is again, Miss Crystal Gayle.

Ahh! Oh! Captain, is he...?

Ahh.

Ahh. I wonder if they have room service.

All mimes do walking against the wind. Fozzie, you gotta be more original.

All right, here is my first mime.

All right, I'll replace it, but this is the last time.

All right, Scooter. Thanks.

All right, Your Amphibiousness,

All right.

All right.

ALL: ♪ And love can come to everyone ♪

ALL: ♪ And love can come to everyone ♪

ALL: ♪ D I X I Even though my mammy's waiting for me ♪

ALL: ♪ D I X I Even though my mammy's waiting for me ♪

ALL: ♪ Every week and every year ♪

ALL: ♪ Here I go once again With my suitcase in my hand ♪

ALL: ♪ Here I go once again With my suitcase in my hand ♪

ALL: ♪ How much I love you ♪

ALL: ♪ Inch by inch, row by row ♪

ALL: ♪ It was nine feet high And six feet wide ♪

ALL: ♪ It was nine feet high And six feet wide ♪

ALL: ♪ It was nine feet high And six feet wide ♪

ALL: ♪ La la la la, la, la ♪

ALL: ♪ The moon belongs to everyone ♪

ALL: ♪ Tick tock, tick ♪

ALL: ♪ Truce! ♪

ALL: ♪ We love to go a wandering ♪

ALL: ♪ When I get to that Swanee shore ♪

ALL: ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪

Alligators?

Alligators.

Amazing, he looks just like Uncle Harry.

And he got killed doing it.

And I forgot to clean out my refrigerator.

And I wanna see everything just in the place it was, okay?

And I'm tickled pink to announce our solution to the banana problem.

And lovely, thank you.

And my simulated pearls and everything, it's all gone!

And of course, a dozen pairs of shoes,

And shine it in the water

And some après swim togs,

And thanks for showing me that chicken trick. It really works.

And that's all for today from Muppet Labs.

And the elephant takes my hand with his trunk

And then wraps it around my neck and he takes me down...

And tonight it's a very special human being,

And, uh, you might also keep an eye on your wallets.

Angry? No, I am not angry.

Anytime.

As you all know, elephants hate spaghetti.

As you know, once removed from the bunch, bananas cannot be reinserted.

Aw, thanks very much Gonzo. I enjoyed that too.

Aw.

Bartender, get us two sarsaparillas.

BEAKER: Hmm.

Bear walking against the wind.

Bear walking on stage.

Bear watching a tennis match between two turtles.

Because it's mime.

Because John is such an outdoors lover,

Because our guest star is one of the great talents of the music world,

Because the aardvarks have the flu.

Before, yes.

Besides, a weekend in the swamp will be very healthy for you all.

Bork, bork, bork.

Boss, bad news about the guest stars.

BOTH: ♪ High overhead the skylarks wing ♪

BOTH: ♪ I'd give the world to be ♪

BOTH: ♪ Swinee? ♪

BOTH: ♪ We are coming back to Swanee ♪

BOTH: ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪

BOTH: ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪

BOTH: Uh oh.

Boy, do you look dumb.

Boy, Kermit's finally booked guest stars weirder than we are.

Boy, you look happy.

Bring that thing back! Hey. Uh Aah!

But before we go,

But before we go,

But before we go, let's have a warm thank you for our very special guest star.

But first, but first, we present an old German folk song.

But I hope you bought a return ticket.

But it looks like it's gonna be just you and me on that camping trip.

But you must remember that camping can be tough.

But, uh, we don't have to go back to the swamp.

Bye bye.

Campers carry everything they need.

Can't close their ja... Good. Mm hm.

Carry? I do not intend to carry anything.

Cheap, cheap.

CHORUS 1: ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ CHORUS 2: ♪ Why can't... ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Inch by inch ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Inch by inch ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Inch by inch ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Love and care, ah ♪ ♪ Old crow watching hungrily ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Love and care, ah ♪ ♪ Old crow watching hungrily ♪

Come back here!

Come down, squirrely!

Come down, squirrely! Come on down, squirrely!

Come down, squirrely.

Come in.

Come on, squirrely, I'll get you. Into the pot.

Come on, squirrely! I get the squirrely!

Come on, squirrely. Get in.

Come on.

Could I have your autograph?

Crystal Gayle. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Crystal.

Dearth Nadir? I have never heard of him.

Dearth Nadir.

Disappointed?

Do I hear another one?

Do I hear any requests?

Do we have a good one for you tonight. Don't ask, of course we do.

Do you mind?

Do you often wear a bag over your head?

Excuse me while I chop some wood.

Fantastic, I can see it all now. Gonzo massaging a snake!

Far out. How did you get into that?

Fifteen seconds to curtain, Shields and Yarnell.

Fine, boss.

For giving us that classic sketch, Feeding Spaghetti to an Elephant.

For instance, Floyd has just packed his backpack.

For this week's Pigs in Space!

Frog is shaking his head?

Gee, boss, I've never seen you naked before.

Give this guy the Nobel Prize!

GONZO: Ha! And well you might ask.

GONZO: Okay, girls. Cluck them to death.

GONZO: Stormtroopers!

GONZO: Surround them!

Great. That's a terrific idea for my finish in this act.

Guys, come on. Cut it out. Oh.

Guys, you're on stage in a second. Now put all that stuff back.

Guys...

Have a nice fight.

Haven't changed my socks since World War II.

He might as well. You've been dying all night.

He was just some guy who tried to feed an elephant spaghetti.

He'll be here soon with his stormtroopers.

He's always cheatin' me.

He's badder than anyone.

He's gonna show me.

Hello, Jonathan dear.

Here they are doing one of their classic sketches: Robots Having Breakfast.

Here they are now to show you they do everything else good, too.

Hey, aren't we in the wrong place?

Hey, fellas? Uh, Kermit wants to talk to you.

Hey, Floyd, what am I doing? What am I doing? Okay.

Hey, Gonzo. It looks like you've been really busy.

Hey, hey. Then there's this classic.

Hey, I really enjoyed your last number.

Hey, Kermit. Do we get paid extra for working on the high wire?

Hey, Kermit. I'm all ready with my mime act.

Hey, man, I don't know what kind of trip you're on,

Hey, the Prairie Dog Glee Club really sounds good.

Hey, this is my kinda song! Hee hee hee hee!

Hey, Tiny, will you give a blast on that thing?

Hey, wait, this is no good. It's upside down.

Hey, we can put something else around your neck.

Hey, what's the name of the movie playing at the drive in?

Hey, will you come back with ? Aah!

Hey!

Hey! Now, you turkeys quiet down in there

Hey.

Heya, heya, heya.

Hi ho, and welcome again to The Muppet Show.

Hi there. I thought I would just peek out and introduce our next act.

Hi yah!

Hi, guys. Mind if I come in?

Hiya, Gonzo.

Hold it, hold it. Police, hold it. This man stole my biggie.

How about a gorilla?

How about one more suggestion?

How did that happen?

How did you do that?

How does he do it? That's exactly my new act.

How many mimes have you seen doing that, huh?

How's that?

Howdy, pardner.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? I'm still running.

Huh? What's that? What's that?

I call you.

I did, I did.

I don't understand him.

I hate sweet numbers.

I haven't?

I held them off as long as I could.

I just remembered, I got a basketball game on Saturday.

I know all about those flashlights. How do you think my eyes got this way?

I mean stop it.

I need help with my gardening.

I sleep on the hard ground every night.

I think she needs a week in the country.

I think this is a terrific show, Waldorf.

I think we should all be grateful to him.

I thought you said it was theirs?

I wish we were, but there's the frog.

I wonder if you'd share some of the secrets of your success,

I'll explain to you later.

I'll find somebody else to go camping with me.

I'll schedule their number in the second half of the show.

I'll teach you how to catch frogs.

I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

I'm miserable.

I'm not happy.

I'm resting. That was a difficult scene to play.

I'm sorry, but, Piggy...

I've got the world's biggest mold garden.

I've gotta go on stage and make an introduction.

If I couldn't sing any better than that, I'd "leaf." Ha ha ha.

If it helps any, I didn't understand that either.

If you go, I won't put you in the hospital.

Is one of the good guys of contemporary music,

Is that you, Kermit?

It is sanity time here on The Muppet Show, and here is our very special guest star.

It is the barbershop harmonies of our own Singing Prairie Dogs.

It looks like we've come down to the end of another one,

It might be kind of fun to teach a cute little pig to frog kick.

It seems to be from, uh, South Germany?

It sure was.

It used to be.

It was our pleasure, John.

It'll put us out of ours, too.

It'll put you out of your misery.

It's animal impression time.

It's been our pleasure. And you can have your feather boa back.

It's going to be a terrific show

It's me, Miss Gayle, Beauregard the Janitor.

It's not from West Germany. It's not from East Germany.

It's The Muppet Show,

It's The Muppet Show,

It's The Muppet Show, with our very special guest stars, Shields and Yarnell!

John and I decided it would be fun to show you the land of my birth.

John Denver has invited us all to join him on a weekend camping trip.

John Denver. Fifteen seconds to curtain, John.

JOHN: Do you have everything? Do you have your snakebite kit?

JOHN: Move over!

Just fine.

Just when you think this show is terrible, something wonderful happens.

Kermie, oh, I am so excited

Kermie, you are out of your little green mind.

Kermie, you're right.

Kermit, I haven't quite finished building the set yet.

Kermit, it was an absolute thrill to work with you.

Kermit, it's a cruel business.

Kermit, never mind, we'll have a great time.

Kermit, we had an incredible time tonight.

Kermit's having what you might call "costume problems" tonight,

Ladies and gentlemen, Feeding Spaghetti to an Elephant.

Ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie Bear!

Ladies and gentlemen, John Denver! Yay!

Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Crystal Gayle! Yay!

Ladies and gentlemen, our opening number!

Ladies and gentlemen, Shields and Yarnell!

Ladies and gentlemen, Shields and Yarnell!

Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Miss Crystal Gayle.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Singing Prairie Dogs.

Ladies and gentlemen, the wonderful Shields and Yarnell! Yay!

Ladies and gentlemen, with us tonight

Last night for dinner, I ate a fence post.

Last night. The wife was driving me crazy.

Let me help you get away so you don't have to do this crummy show.

Let us bring back our wonderful guest star.

Let us have a warm thank you for our very special guest stars,

Let's go pack those knapsacks.

Let's see what this does.

Like walking up stairs or walking against the wind?

Link's Mommy wanted on the bridge.

Listen, Denver. You're a good kid.

Listen, if you were me, what would you recommend?

Mime? Uh huh.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm hm. Yes.

Mm. Okay, guys, I'm gonna count to three,

Mold garden?

Mr. John Denver.

Mr. John Denver.

Much better.

MUPPETS: ♪ There she goes, home again With her suitcase in her hand ♪

Mwah.

My opening is dynamite. Watch this.

My roots are there, and I just wanted you and my other friends to see it.

NARRATOR: And now

NARRATOR: Tune in next week for an apology

Nice song.

No squirrely. Ooh.

No way, the bear's got no imagination.

No, no, I want to show you something. Now get in here. Oh!

No, no, no, don't do that.

No.

Not there, please! No, please, John! Oh! Oh! Aah! Oh! Please, please!

Now what is this important announcement you wanted to make?

Now, listen, everyone.

Now, no.

Oh, Annie Sue, pardon moi. Heh.

Oh, boy, right into the tuba.

Oh, dear. I don't think I helped any.

Oh, forget it. I am not going.

Oh, good grief.

Oh, good, because you're on next.

Oh, I know.

Oh, I'm doing fine.

Oh, Miss Piggy appears angry.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, no! Please get that monkey off my roof!

Oh, please, squirrely, come on down.

Oh, squirrely?

Oh, thank you very much, sir.

Oh, thanks, Scooter.

Oh, thanks. You're a real spore.

Oh, well, gee, Miss Piggy, you know, I was born in the swamp.

Oh, where the squir ? Oh, squirrely!

Oh, who cares about your silly costume? Look at this.

Oh, why, sure, Annie Sue.

Oh, yeah, John.

Oh, yeah, right.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you have got to be kidding.

Oh, you noticed.

Oh! Listen. The warning buzzer.

Oh! Oh, my goodness! They look brutal!

Oh! Oh, what shall we do?

Oh. Ah.

Oh. Where the squirrely is?

Okay, but it looks like a battlefield back there.

Okay, here, I feed the spaghetti,

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

Okay, ladies and gentlemen.

Okay, let's play some poker.

Okay, listen, everybody,

Okay, nice number, birds, very nice.

Okay, nice number, guys. Very pretty, Crystal.

Okay, nice opening number.

Okay, now here is my biggie. Okay, watch this.

Okay, okay. We've just about come down to the end of another one,

Okay, soldiers, nicely waged.

Okay, thank

Okay, very good, flowers. Get to your dressing pots.

Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, our opening number, "Take a Chance."

Okay, well, so far we have certainly proved

Okay, you want comedy? You got it!

Okay.

Okay. "Take a Chance."

Okay. As you will.

On three!

One, two, three.

Only one.

Our guest stars tonight are masters in the art of mime.

Our Kermie has offered to take us on a visit to his homeland.

Our weapons are useless!

Overnight.

PENGUINS: ♪ Mammy ♪

Perfect.

Picture if you will, a bear crawling off stage.

Picture if you will, a bear watching a tennis match between two giraffes.

Piggy, is that a gold lamé backpack that you're wearing?

Piggy, Piggy, you can't carry all that stuff.

Piggy, we are going to the swamp.

PIGGY: Kermie!

PIGGY: Kermit! Kermit!

PIGGY: Yes, the swamp.

Plus one human being.

Poor fella. His finger went off accidentally.

Poor girl's got a case of the nerves.

PRAIRIE DOGS: ♪ Somebody stole my gal ♪

Remember that? Huh?

Remember this!

Right. Okay, watch this. Okay, tell what this is now.

Say, we don't allow no gun fights in here, mister.

Scooter, are you okay?

Scooter, watch out for the orchestra pit!

Scooter, what are they doing?

See, he's got... He's... He's...

See, I can explain about this outfit.

See, I gotta come up with an act for next week's show.

See, my black wig that I wear for Latin numbers, it's missing.

See? See?

Settle, you guys!

Shaking his head at the classic bear going to drive in movie with porcupine?

SHARK: Mmm...

She is merely disappointed.

Shields and Yarnell have been teaching me the subtle art of mime.

Shields and Yarnell.

Shields and Yarnell.

Since we're in the same field.

So he's asked me to introduce our very special guest star again.

So with that in mind, picture if you will...

So's a body can get some sleep!

Someone's outside the door.

Sometimes I think my garden is plotting against me.

Sometimes there are spiders and little creepy crawly things...

Sorry. I guess they've got a little pack rat blood in them.

Stop! I, Bear on Patrol, put you under arrest.

Such problems disappear with our new electric banana sharpener.

Sure am.

Sure, that's how you go camping.

Sure, you keep asking, "Wire they doing that?"

Surely you're not arresting these cute little things here as common thieves.

Tell you what, I'll lay back a little.

Thank you for having me on the show.

Thank you, Kermit, for a lovely evening.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you, Mr. Frog.

Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thanks, Kermit. Thank you.

Thanks, Scooter.

That is why I'm only bringing four long dresses.

That just about wraps up another version of The Muppet Show.

That our very special guest stars are masters of the art of mime.

That's a pair of threes.

That's fantastic!

That's four kings.

That's it, that's exactly what I do.

That's magnificent. Hey, the guy's a genius!

That's okay, I figured you needed some quality material in your act.

That's what you call a wire act.

The alligators, when they open their mouths to eat you,

The band's got three extra gigs this weekend.

The brain of the bear has gone bye bye.

The bulb in the refrigerator got busted.

The food was all green and fuzzy, and it was just too cute to throw out.

The lovely recording artist Miss Crystal Gayle.

The Prairie Dog Glee Club's ready.

The prairie dogs are thieves.

The sty.

Then he's got me by the throat! Aah! And then he's trying to kill me...

There are snakes in the swamp. They may bite you.

There you go.

There's a fungus among us.

They got up. We must have missed them.

They hate Italian food.

They keep stealing everything.

They must have brainwashed him.

They stole the clothes right off their

They were just moving like this.

They worked very hard to perfect it. If you go out...

They'll crawl up your legs, Piggy.

They'll suffer by comparison. I understand.

They're machines. Shields and Yarnell are robots.

They're really terrific, so hang on to your hats,

They've breached our security! There's no stopping them!

They've taken everything!

This backpack weighs next to nothing. See?

This is Muppet Labs,

This is my designer collection hiking suit, don't you know.

This is not an Italian elephant. This one hates spaghetti.

This results in extra bananas lying around underfoot,

Those dumb prairie dogs.

Thursday?

Tonight our own Fozzie Bear is making his debut in the classic art of mime.

Tonight's guest stars are those phenomenal artists of mime,

TRIO: ♪ Seven days then got together ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

TRIO: ♪ Sixty seconds got together ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

Ugh. You know what a tree would call you?

Uh huh.

Uh, all right, moving right along.

Uh, bear going up escalator.

Uh, bear walking up stairs.

Uh, Beau, we have to do the number now.

Uh, can I talk to you from here?

Uh, I don't know. What's the point?

Uh, it certainly is. I'll go introduce you.

Uh, just how do you figure that?

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

Uh, no.

Uh, now, picture if you will, a bear at a drive in movie with a porcupine.

Uh, snakes?

Uh, squirrely?

Uh, that's better.

Uh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

Uh, yeah, listen, gang, it's not nice to take other people's things.

Uh, yeah. A lizard.

Uh... "Crystal Gayle. Fifteen seconds to curtain, Crystal."

Uh... Uh, Fozzie, that's a little slow for an opener.

Um, yes, ma'am.

Um... Between two turtles? Huh?

Very nice!

Wait a minute, Italian elephants don't hate spaghetti. They love it.

Wait a minute, one last mime.

Wait a minute. I wanna work with the Muppets.

Wait, you don't... This is art. Please...

Watch this. Okay, tell me what it is.

We call it that because, uh...

We can find it.

We can go back to where you were born.

We can, uh...

We didn't miss them. We were shooting blanks.

We do, huh?

We make the squirrely stew.

We shake the tree.

We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

We're going to spend a lot of the show in the country.

We've come down to the end of another one, but

Well, about a year ago I went away on vacation

Well, come to think of it, he wasn't a mime.

Well, enough of this nonsense.

Well, guys, it's just the three of us for a weekend in the swamp.

Well, how come they don't talk?

Well, I don't have any privacy anymore.

Well, I don't know. I feel kind of dumb.

Well, I'll just see what these two buckaroos want.

Well, it looks like you're feeding spaghetti to an elephant.

Well, it's better.

Well, it's hard not to.

Well, it's...

Well, my coop runneth over.

Well, my other collar's at the cleaners.

Well, no. I was saving the best part for a surprise.

Well, no. It's family show.

Well, Piggy, at night, when you're asleep in the swamp,

Well, so much for the prairie dogs.

Well, so, what's the problem?

Well, some of them were blanks.

Well, sure.

Well, uh, how much time you need?

Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen, once again, Mr. John Denver.

Well, um...

Well, we call it that because the whole show is filled with Muppets,

Well, we were playing puffball, and Reggie hit a long one.

Well, yeah.

Well, yes, Piggy, snakes. And also, one...

Well, you see, on the show, we've got these prairie dogs.

What a rotten voice.

What can I do for you, Beauregard?

What does it look like I'm doing?

What happened?

What is it, Scooter?

What the hey?

What we can do?

What you do is wait until dark, then you take a flashlight

What's going on up there?

What's the matter? Never seen anyone shuffle cards before?

When was that?

When you told me we were spending a week in the swamp...

Where are you?! What is this? What ?

Where pigs eat swill and wallow in the mud.

Where they can be hazardous to your health.

Who is it?

Who is outside our door?

Whoa!

Whoa. Wait, wait, wait, Deputy Bear.

Whoopee!

Whoopee!

Why did you invite these penguins?

Why doesn't he do something clever

Why not?

Why, yes, darling.

With a voice like that, you won't be very "poplar" around here.

With our very special guest star, Crystal Gayle! Yay!

With our very special guest star, John Denver.

With this equipment, you can store bananas on any convenient vertical surface.

Would you consider a chicken?

Would you do me a favor and cue me on my lines?

Would you do me a favor and cue me on my lines?

Yeah, and I signed up for a seminar on mildew.

Yeah, but I think you'd better talk to them.

Yeah, but, uh, we can't have this on the show, Scooter.

Yeah, I ran away in 1924.

Yeah, I'd be happy to. You've gotta take care of your throat.

Yeah, mold.

Yeah, right. Right! That's exactly right.

Yeah, they're, uh... They're still working pretty hard.

Yeah, they've been working really hard.

Yeah, we did. And we want to thank Fozzie Bear

Yeah, well, very good, Miss Piggy,

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, I've really got some original ones, too.

Yeah. Kind of reminds me of the time I ran away from home.

Yeah. Now we gotta worry about termites.

Yeah. Uh huh.

Yes, and, also, Piggy, one other thing, and this is of critical importance.

Yes, I'm afraid he's...

Yes, okay. I think I've got it.

Yes, sir.

Yes.

Yes. This is...

You can even store a whole bunch this way.

You can't let yourself get too tired when you're singing.

You do not want me to show up your guests.

You do?

You expect moi to carry that heavy thing?

You got it! Ah!

You guys know the kind of acts I do?

You have not been honest with me, Kermit.

You jam the stick, and they can't close their jaws on you.

You know something? That was a sweet number.

You know, he is right. It is four kings.

You know, slow.

You know, where your roots are.

You know, you could be right.

You little green hunk, you.

You must tell us, who has breached our security?

You need a short, sharp stick about that long.

You see, Shields and Yarnell have made a career out of mime.

You see, that's called Uh, that's called stealing, and

You sure can.

You talk to them. I gotta introduce Crystal Gayle.

You think that's funny?

You wouldn't want me to go around naked, would you?

You'll explain to me now.

You'll find out if you're there with a porcupine.

You're beyond help.

You're right, I'll give it my best shot.

You're right. I'll switch it to giraffes.

You've got a garden?

Your star is not angry.

♪ 52 weeks decided to become a year ♪ ♪ Tick tock, tick tock ♪

♪ All it takes is a rake and a hoe ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ And they decided to become a minute ♪ ♪ Tick tock, tick tock ♪

♪ And they decided to become a week ♪ ♪ Tick tock, tick tock ♪

♪ And they decided to become an hour ♪ ♪ Tick tock, tick tock ♪

♪ As they grew and grew ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

♪ But if I ever had to make a choice ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ But, darling, in a day ♪ TRIO: ♪ La, la ♪

♪ From his perch in yonder tree ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Ah ♪

♪ Gonna make this garden grow ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I even kissed Aunt Lou, ew! ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Ew! ♪

♪ I guess it ought to be said ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Sixty minutes got together ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

♪ Sixty minutes, every hour ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

♪ Somebody came and took her away ♪ CHORUS: ♪ Mm ♪

♪ That's why 60 seconds, every minute ♪ ♪ Tick tock ♪

♪ There wasn't time to say ♪ ♪ La ♪

♪ They're yours ♪ ♪ They're mine ♪

♪ They're yours ♪ ♪ They're mine ♪

♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ ♪ ...we be friends? ♪

♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ ♪ ...we be friends? ♪

♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ ♪ Why can't... ♪

A walking stick, yes. No, no, no. This is for the alligators.

Aah! Aah! Oh, help! Oh, help! Oh, help! PIGGY: I'm getting out of here.

Beauregard! BEAUREGARD: Oh! Sorry.

before you put your boots on... Yes?

But I have witnesses. The bear's right.

Come on, girls. What?

Come on. Oh, squirrely. Uh uh.

Did you wanna see me, Miss Piggy? Yes, come in, Kermie.

Do that, good. Nice spirit.

Everybody else backed out. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Four kings. Pair of threes.

Fozzie, I'm really kind of busy now. I'll do it again.

Gonzo. What?

Good. Did you talk to them about stealing?

Ha, ha. Thank you, sir.

He's the scourge of the universe. Mm hm.

Hey, boss? Okay. Yes?

Hi there, Scooter. Oh, hi, Kermit.

Hmm? Show them, Beaker.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

I think they'd listen to you. Okay.

Is that their act? Yup.

Is the scenery ready? MAN: Oh, yeah, it's ready.

It's supposed to. Oh, then it's finished.

Kermit. Kermit. Yeah, Fozzie.

Kings! Threes!

Kings! Threes!

Look, come here a second. What?

Massaging a snake? Massaging a snake?

Miss Piggy... Hmm?

No, not at all. PRAIRIE DOGS: Ha ha ha.

Oh, captain! Captain Link, all is lost! What?

Oh, hi, John. How you doing, man?

Oh, Mr. Kermit, sir... Hm?

Oh, yeah. Huh? Aah! Aah!

Oh! Up in the mountains? Uh, well, actually, no.

Oh. And my long lavender gloves

On this show, everything's a wire act. Oh?

One... PRAIRIE DOG: Hurry up.

Scooter! Yeah, boss?

See that? Ah!

Surprise? Mm hm.

Take five. Each?

Thank you very much, Miss Piggy. Mm hm.

That's four kings. Threes!

The warning buzzer! He's at the other door!

They are not. They are so!

They took away my collar. So?

They'll be all over you. No, not the legs, please!

Uh, Fozzie? Yes, yes.

Wait, wait. ...and my sun visor spectacles.

We were? Of course.

We're gonna be roughing it. Oh, I know.

Well, let's see... Aah!

Well, what'd you think of that number? I can't talk about it.

Well? He wouldn't listen.

What your step. Yeah, yeah.

What? Hi yah!

What? It ends.

What? Yeah, and they

What? Yeah.

What? Your snakebite kit.

Who's that? I don't know.

Whoa! Whoa, boy. [HORSE NEIGHS]

Why not? I still have relatives in Germany.

Why, hello, Miss Piggy. Ahh, hello.

Yeah? When I got back,

Yes, what? What is it?

Yes? Every morning when you get up,

You know something else? What?

You mean...? Yes, it'll be a weekend in the swamp!

You weren't even looking. I didn't have to.

You're kidding. Aah!

You've gotta I don't need help with my singing.

...and they'll get in your boots, and if you don't shake them out...

...be very sure to shake them vigorously.

...great outdoorsy,

...two, three.

...when we get to the swamp, will you give me a swimming lesson?

...you look amazing.

...you never said there would be snakes and spiders and, ahh,

[ALARM BLARING]

[ALARM BUZZING]

[ALL CHATTERING]

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[ALL CLUCKING]

[ALL GROAN]

[ALL HUM IN HARMONY]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

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