Superstore (2015) - Season 3 Edit

A "Matrix 2" and "3" box set?

A and I'm not accusing you of this,

A badger game in Kansas City.

A better way to cook...

A blind eye to this, not on Christmas.

A bowling action shot?

A bunch of wigs.

A can of soda has like, 40.

A class A stinker!

A Dominican person could speak Hindi if he wanted to.

A few last bits of housekeeping.

A few of them left before buying lottery tickets.

A five? Even I got a 30.

A full grown man with severe physical and mental disabilities,

A full restock of the jerky.

A garden gnome? What would you even castrate?

A gas main blew in a Shoeland.

A ha, big mistake.

A huge number of these things

A hummingbird flew by and I wanna see if he comes back.

A hummingbird.

A hundred people watching in each store,

A hypothetical world where you're not there.

A late addition, but everybody loved him.

A little bit at a time over the course of several weeks.

A little concerned your lawyer's giving you some bad advice.

A little fresh air and quiet might be just the thing

A little higher?

A little more stuff?

A little movie called "Bad Boys 2"

A living room display set up in the middle of everything.

A lot of interesting opinions today, Kelly.

A lot of people are happier after they get divorced

A lot of people believe in angels!

A lot of people believe in Bigfoot.

A lot of people believe unicorns exist.

A lot of people still hate Obama.

A lot of the key choices were mine, so.

A lot of them.

A lot of trouble with my, uh, Eddie Bauer Discover card.

A lot of verbs.

A lot.

A major accident.

A man who knows where the G spot is.

A Martin Nestle.

A midlife crisis, is that it?

A motorcycle accident victim,

A nice cozy scarf from Jerusha's booth.

A nice, long lunch, just the two of you?

A one eyed zombie,

A poor person around, just bumming everyone out.

A pyramid scheme needs to recruit.

A really boring dream.

A root beer fixes everything.

A sense of accomplishment.

A sexy banana, and I was like,

A skydiving instructor, and he does a lot of charity work.

A small price to pay for a taste of Italy.

A squirrel.

A stable boy's chest and pull out his still beating heart.

A steamer trunk. I mean, there's wicker balls.

A ten disc box set of Churchill speeches.

A typical day for Jessicah

A very big slice, Jonah.

A way to like teleport there,

A week before the grand opening, on the 28th."

A woman district manager.

A woman from my church got divorced

A word?

A year ago this store was hit by a tornado.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L.

A.B.'s, old school, I feel you.

Aah!

ABG. Always Be Gathering.

Abnormally shaped how?

About his email address, so I did some digging

About keeping this whole situation from Laurie.

About something else.

About taking my Latina card from me.

About the health fund, but we are not kicking people out.

About the uh, beverages.

About the whole undocumented thing,

About to shoot up the tree house.

About what I'm thinking of wearing.

About what we can expect once this store becomes Quad A.

About which "Longmire" character you are.

About women not supporting other women...

Absolutely not.

Absolutely.

Accessing people's social media

According to this, it's right there.

Accounted for, like, 1.4% of total sales last month.

Actually he still had both of his feet.

Actually, I think I kind of agree with Marcus.

Actually, I think I'm going to pass.

Actually, I think it was not getting into art school.

Actually, I think this is a different Laurie Neustadt.

Actually, I'd like another ten minutes if it's okay.

Actually, it did feel like we kind of had to buy something.

Actually, it was his friend's condo.

Actually, that's not a bad idea.

Actually, two shrinks. One's a control.

Actually, um, no, we, uh,

Actually, we Christians believe that all people are sinners.

Actually, we could just maybe start playing the game,

Actually, you know what?

Adam got with that?

Adam opens the door, and then I get to see

Adam?

Add that area to this list.

Adios, Consuela.

Admit to everybody around here that I'm unemployed.

Adorable.

After a bunch of false negatives.

After watching it, I got to say,

Again with the VapoRub.

Again,

Again, didn't know the rats were there.

Again, I am not, uh...

Again, I'm so sorry for the false alarm.

Again, let's stop looking for treasure,

Again, maybe we could have a woman's perspective?

Against bullying of anyone under any circumstance.

Against the Amy's and the Sandra's of the world.

Ah ah ah, a bet is a bet, and you won.

Ah ah! I don't think that's what it's called.

Ah, budget cuts.

Ah, come on, I really like this guy.

Ah, dang it.

Ah, got to get back to work.

Ah, great question. We like to pay...

Ah, here we are. Employee records.

Ah, here you go.

Ah, hey.

Ah, it's fine.

Ah, okay. Sure, yes,

Ah, quitting time, huh?

Ah, same here.

Ah, she's at the zoo. She's good.

Ah, yes!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! I'm gonna fall.

Ah.

Ah. Almost.

Ah. I'm sorry. I just...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ahead of all these suckers.

Ahh, damn it!

Ahhh!

Aisle 17. Stop ruining this.

AKA on her parents' phone plan. Next.

AKA, no wheel!

Al Pacino, everyone. He's back.

Alejandro has five stars.

Alex, the beverage guy.

All day in her bedroom and her bathroom.

All Filipinos are related...

All I need is 14 pairs of shorts and a 12 sided die.

All I said to her was that she should be able

All I said was the fund can't pay for a live in nurse.

All I think about is bathroom breaks

All I'm saying is that, from a hetero male perspective,

All jails are masturbation jails.

All my snarky comments about the dresses.

All of the stuff that I'd...

All of these are within the last six months.

All of these videos are stupid.

All of your groundhog related questions?

All right, "adultery" is a strong word.

All right, Amen.

All right, don't just say no, all right?

All right, everybody blow it out.

All right, got it. No problem.

All right, guys, enough is enough.

All right, guys, listen up.

All right, guys.

All right, I just got off the phone with corporate,

All right, I should get back to...

All right, I'll see you later.

All right, I'm engaging meaningfully.

All right, I'm just looking for the right window.

All right, jalapeño, your border tunnel caved in.

All right, let's all take a number.

All right, let's make a list of all the people

All right, listen, it is dangerously

All right, man, what is this? What are you doing to us?

All right, Myrtle.

All right, now it's buzzing at me like it's mad at me.

All right, Sal, let's see what you got for me.

All right, so the game is called Answers.

All right, so, I think, we're good here.

All right, so...

All right, Sosa up.

All right, thank you. Well, you know,

All right, that is bad.

All right, well I don't know if you've noticed, Jonah,

All right, well, at least we know we can cut Myrtle.

All right, well, let's see who's going

All right, well, that should hold.

All right, well, that was just a idea.

All right, well, what about, like, mermaids?

All right, well, what did you grow up playing?

All right, well, would a narc do this?

All right, what else?

All right, when you come forward,

All right, you heard Amy, guys,

All right! Let's do this.

All right? I caught him stealing.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Clean this up for real.

All right. Here you go.

All right. Oh.

All right. Peace!

All right. See? Best job she's ever had?

All right. That's enough.

All right. You can stay with me.

All the kids called me "Bagel Boobs."

All the photos of Adam are gone.

All the registers should be open.

All those savings before you know it, and then what, huh?

All we know is that Brett was in the parking lot

All your cereals have marshmallows.

Almost all of these customers

Almost definitely not.

Almost got me there. And... and it's been raising

Almost? Are you serious?

Already called her. She's cool with it.

Also a weird thing to brag about.

Also said it tastes like Bud Light.

Also some tops.

Also, Elias has been stealing discontinued light bulbs.

Also, I just remembered, I get kinda seasick,

Also, I'm saving up for something I actually want to buy.

Also, it could've been blunt force trauma.

Also, it is Mother's Day this weekend,

Also, the bell ringing... could you slow it down?

Also, you're upset about floor cleaner.

Also...

Although at Target, we call it a store lead.

Although if I had to single out the stink king,

Although it's like,

Although me just being here is illegal

Although some people refuse to eat it.

Although that might be because he doesn't send me

Although, you know, it's not like she would

Always about Randy...

Always drinking tea.

Always, like, lurking around,

Amazing. Yeah.

American cheese, cheddar cheese, pizza cheese.

Ames.

Amy and I are on the same page about this one.

Amy and I think you need

Amy called him a clown.

Amy doesn't need charity.

Amy Dubanowski.

Amy frenched her man,

Amy has the floor.

Amy hooked up with Tate,

Amy is the bossy one.

Amy, can I ask you something

Amy, don't talk sports. You're embarrassing yourself.

Amy, employees can't reserve merchandise, you know this.

Amy, I don't know how many good eggs she has left,

Amy, I don't mean to be rude,

Amy, I'm gonna give you some

Amy, so sorry to hear about Adam.

Amy, that is a big slice of pie.

Amy, um, your TV's not working.

Amy, we're gonna need you to engage meaningfully

Amy, where are you? I need you in electronics.

Amy, you're old, right?

Amy? Amy?

Amy? Hey, it's Jessie.

Amy's boyfriend said something to her in Spanish,

Amy's pregnant!

Amy's screw up shouldn't overshadow the fact

Amy's the mad one. The loud one.

An electric guitar.

An electrical spark at the factory

An employee's inventing fake customers.

An extra buck 50 an hour.

An hour ago, I had no idea who you were,

An hour?

And "Star Trek" are the same thing.

And #Intolt.

And 11 stitches there.

And actually the yeast that I use is a descendant

And actually, if you want to get real about it,

And addicted to pills and dancing for strangers.

And admits to doing something wrong

And all good things must come to an end.

And all of a sudden, they're like besties.

And all the stars are here.

And all we'd be doing is telling the truth.

And also different.

And also for those with slightly more health requirements

And also it's like, focus on Earth problems

And also when you say "softlines"...

And also, I'm terrified of heights,

And also, I'm trying Sudoku.

And also, the food's almost ready.

And an amazing butt?

And argue with his wife for hours.

And as a Christian, I wanted to prove that they weren't.

And as for you, I have a cousin at the Bar Association,

And as soon as I give Sandra the shot,

And as you might know,

And ask her out and then never show up.

And at first it's cool,

And at least two retirement homes

And before you know it, she's pregnant

And before you know it, she's pregnant

And believe me, I am only doing it for the money.

And believe me, if there was any other usable, affordable

And besides, I'm kind of relieved.

And besides, you just need to get back out there, you know?

And Chey really liked the idea...

And chlorine will kill anything.

And chuck me back in the drawer.

And co worker Brett Kobashigawa.

And corporate says mothers are in this year.

And crushes you.

And deeper and deeper

And do a little wine club thing.

And do what I wanted to do for once, you know?

And doctors' appointments and hormones.

And does a bunch of silly voices,

And don't believe everything you hear.

And don't dump co workers you live with and date.

And Edwin who wanted to be the lawyer.

And Elias ate it 'cause he thought it was a Chiclet?

And Emma and I are reading "Fault in Our Stars" so...

And even Amy and Jonah... you had an affair.

And even if I were,

And even if it's not a question,

And even if there's, like,

And everybody will get it as we go.

And find the envelope.

And for keeping me calm.

And for the rest of camp,

And for thinking that you would ever make up a customer.

And forgive yourself.

And frankly, I am sick of listening

And Garrett had something to do with it too.

And get a... a table right near the tractor?

And get back to me later, okay?

And get tested.

And get you through this breakup thing roomie style.

And give Laura Dern some acting tips?

And go help Leonard in produce.

And Google how I'm thinking of killing her

And hard.

And he asked if it'd be interesting

And he did spend some time in Costa Rica.

And he doesn't say a word because I threatened

And he fell and got embarrassed, and so he left.

And he liked mustard?

And he said hey, can you switch things up

And he says his friend is fine with it.

And he sleeps on the top bunk.

And he sort of was like floating above me,

And he wanted to ask me to the dance."

And he was laughing, and then I started laughing.

And he was selling it so hard.

And he was totally into it.

And he was wearing an Obama T shirt,

And he's bringing a friend.

And her bosom shall be fully covered"?

And her gay friend bird told me.

And here to talk to us about them

And here's to the health fund, a total failure.

And here's your beat up bookcase.

And his parents are just like, fine with that?

And his penis is the same height as mine.

And hold out for that big money.

And how are you going to get her e mail?

And how each of us need to take action...

And how much money the company would save if they were fired.

And how Wednesday was, and, yeah.

And Howie Mandel's coming?

And I accidently swiped right,

And I actually agree with that.

And I actually like curry, but that was a bad curry.

And I also decided I no longer want to carry your baby,

And I also think you are so brave.

And I am here if you ever wanna talk.

And I am not just gonna stand back

And I can... I can just, like, send you my... my add...

And I can't get this stupid [bleep] timecard

And I can't remember it,

And I could show you really quick.

And I created these intricate memories of our relationship

And I do not want this in my home.

And I don't care what you've done.

And I don't how to be around you.

And I don't know how much more I can take.

And I don't know what that means.

And I don't know who that is.

And I don't want it to look like I'm kicking her when she's down.

And I don't want that.

And I don't want to be dating anyone anywhere.

And I feel

And I felt really weird about throwing it away.

And I found a dollar on the floor,

And I found his actual email on his company website.

And I get amnesty today, so why don't you go kiss a table?

And I go, "Mm hmm."

And I go, "Yeah," and he goes, "Whoa,"

And I gotta get some stuff for the party.

And I guess, you know, when you work with someone

And I had to pay to put one of my cats down.

And I hate to be such a Sally Stickler,

And I have no problem signing all the paperwork,

And I have not improved my diet.

And I have these vivid memories

And I hope you like dead rats.

And I I guess then you'd also be upset if I did this.

And I just couldn't stop myself.

And I just happened to marry him.

And I just miss Obama so much.

And I just remembered you already answered it earlier.

And I just signed up for golf lessons.

And I just thought, you know, now that I have this

And I just wanted to say I hope everything's okay.

And I just wanted to say sorry.

And I keep Kelly on the loading dock,

And I know she's not a Crip.

And I landed on my neck.

And I learned that on a scale from one to ten,

And I made a promise to myself that day

And I mean,

And I promise to keep it professional.

And I really don't feel like I should be made to feel guilty about that, okay?

And I remember thinking I'd never seen my parents again.

And I said, "No, I don't want that,"

And I said, "No, not if you use venison."

And I said, "Who uses provolone?"

And I said, "Yeah."

And I spend most of my nights by myself

And I think he's a real dummy!

And I think I may have given the wrong email.

And I think it's time for you to go.

And I was a pretty decent skier.

And I was gonna get out there and have fun.

And I was like, "Carnitas."

And I was like, "You're right, Delmar was bumper to bumper."

And I was like, typical Jeff.

And I was messing around.

And I was sort of feeling down on myself,

And I will do a quick vibrator sweep.

And I wish I could take it. But the truth is,

And I won't poke holes in any of the stories.

And I would really just like to have a social life again.

And I'd appreciate that respect

And I'd prefer to keep it intact,

And I'll come show you how to scrub down the bathrooms.

And I'll knock it down.

And I'll let you know if I have any thoughts.

And I'll say that I didn't.

And I'll try to do something about that smell.

And I'm a hard worker.

And I'm a little nervous about it, uh, given that...

And I'm an ass gal, so I guess I just assume

And I'm getting a full sized back tattoo

And I'm gonna try to pepper, "Yas, queen,"

And I'm guessing your downstairs is a jungle?

And I'm just leaning over his back so you still see my face,

And I'm just... I'm terrified.

And I'm Miss Piggy because I'm a star.

And I'm not about to start

And I'm not even trying to hide it.

And I'm not saying this is what happened,

And I'm not talking about Amy's adultery.

And I'm not totally sure any of them were hers.

And I'm pretty sure he sleeps in his van.

And I'm really, really loving it.

And I'm... I'm the... lawn mower.

And I've been calling the office...

And I've gotta claw my way to the top.

And I've woken up in Wahaca, covered in furs.

And if I did have a best friend,

And if it lives, it'll never be the same.

And if someone told my daughter not to listen to me,

And if there is stuff you want to do,

And if we then... if we could all go this way.

And if you could stack them in a bowl...

And if you want to sell the lie,

And if you want, you can crash with me.

And in every episode he just lists

And inferior popcorn.

And is also your dentist and stuff.

And is cancer free. Everybody but Dale.

And it happened because we thought we were about to die.

And it is taking forever.

And it led you to me,

And it may frighten you.

And it said that the toilet is sensitive,

And it was a mess.

And it was smooth sailing. And that guy, he quantum leapt.

And it's in walking distance to the farmer's market.

And it's just easier not to argue with her.

And it's like, I don't even know if I want that, you know?

And it's like, why would I even want a Vespa?

And it's like, why would I even want a Vespa?

And it's the same motorcycle that I was riding the night...

And it's too late, but she talks back to me,

And just because the seed doesn't become the plant,

And just not getting to make out.

And just quit it with the harmonica lessons on YouTube.

And just start pounding on you,

And just this morning, you signed up

And just, like, do him, you know?

And Justine Sikowicz?

And Laurie, too.

And leave me out of your coffee making process.

And let this place become Times Square, New York City!

And literally everyone I know is going except for me.

And look at my penis.

And look sharp!

And look!

And make things right.

And maybe what I actually need as I'm processing this tornado stuff

And melt her motherboard.

And Minions for the kids,

And move to the side, now!

And my car just started making this, like, maaaa sound.

And my checkout scores are terrible.

And my roommate.

And navigate our way around the...

And no one ever called him a bitch.

And not a woman's?

And not just here for hummus or something.

And not just here for hummus or something.

And not move for 70 hours straight.

And not one employee has confessed,

And now he knows that she knows...

And now I'm... I'm living in a FEMA trailer.

And now she's going around,

And now they're gonna throw down.

And now we're flirting.

And now, for our mega jackpot winning number...

And now, I have a horrible parasite

And on Mondays and Thursdays, I just drink.

And on Saturdays,

And one of them?

And only then did you say she was unavailable

And over time, it... God, that would really add up.

And overnight gets bad at her job?

And people could call me "ma'am."

And people do not like what they're hearing.

And people even in this store were saying,

And perfectly good parties.

And plus he's got that Dominican accent,

And plus, I told you that in private.

And plus, no one got hurt, so no biggie.

And put it in this envelope, so here goes nothing.

And putting money away for Emma's college,

And putting on a fedora.

And role model.

And Sandra, I need you to make a melon baby.

And say why Myrtle was really fired.

And she goes off campus with Connor.

And she got 100 people to view it.

And she has gout.

And she was adorable.

And she's a woman,

And she's not very good at her job."

And shoot each other, and the paint

And so I told her.

And so, I'm gonna buy a motorcycle,

And some frozen peas full of vitamin C!

And something else you might want to know is,

And start changing up perfectly good shirts,

And talking about the good old days,

And technically, he's a ten,

And technically, I count twins as one person.

And tell her what we're doing.

And that includes meeting that Balki guy.

And that it's good to talk about these things.

And that it's totally naive.

And that just popped out.

And that no one has seen or heard from him since.

And that this food replenishes our spent and tired bodies.

And that was my great great grandfather.

And that was something you wanted?

And that we ran into her, and then I'll just segue

And that woman needs Tide,

And that's it. That's it, though.

And that's just gross.

And that's my fault.

And that's the reason we had to let her go.

And that's why I couldn't go

And the "Wonder Woman" chick.

And the beverage guy. I love that guy.

And the boxes go over there.

And the cameras,

And the food is going to be, like, so good.

And the guy who made my burrito

And the last page is the before photos.

And the man leading that rebuilding

And the mozzarell' and the unlimited bread a sticks.

And the one before that had a weird curry smell.

And the only way she's gonna learn how to do her job right

And the other a stick or a trashcan lid.

And the pain is unbearable.

And the scary part is, like, what's it covering?

And the tickets were non refundable.

And the TV doesn't work.

And the year before that.

And then a face comes out of you.

And then another time, I thought Jerry came

And then asked bearded guy out

And then bring up the raise.

And then broadcast live to all of our stores.

And then he asked me to move and just took off.

And then he asked, "Are burgers cliché in general?"

And then his car got swallowed up by the tornado?

And then hunting her down while she's playing golf

And then I just left it there... like, bounced.

And then Jeff goes, "That's why you dumped me?"

And then Jerusha made us stay because it was our date night

And then just slap it over all the other aisles? Boom.

And then Neil will take a few more questions.

And then one day, out of the blue...

And then own the dodo.

And then people could pass on this side.

And then plugging it back in?

And then see where the day takes us.

And then she's hanging out with the bad kids.

And then she's not doing her homework.

And then slip it in without her noticing.

And then someone in Tucson bought a Vespa

And then sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,

And then suddenly, you're 40,

And then tell her, "Sorry, Mariah."

And then that player knows how to beat his old team.

And then that will pay for the backroom...

And then the fund grows,

And then the second K...

And then there's the scavenging.

And then we can go to other branches

And then we emailed the wrong Brett,

And then we pay it out...

And then we'll know if we're on the same page.

And then we'll see who's crazy.

And then what? Have to spend years explaining

And then what? Have to spend years explaining

And then you did that weird, like, sarcastic thing.

And then you put your shoes on my couch.

And then, after taxes, 11. So that's 5 1/2 each.

And then, he's going to stand up in front of the CEO,

And then, when you slice into it,

And then, you'd probably get sent to Guantanamo.

And then...

And then... and then they...

And there's always science.

And there's the coffee table,

And these are the biggest scissors I could find.

And they act like super British?

And they can be pretty edgy.

And they couldn't, and then here you are...

And they didn't believe me.

And they had to just keep shoving and punching it in

And they just weren't inviting a specific person?

And they serve them with ranch dressing.

And they yell at me if I'm late.

And they'll believe me, because I'm the boss!

And they're constantly masturbating.

And things are all good on their end.

And this guy's still talking about his cat!

And this is never even an issue.

And this morning, I'm guessing.

And this stupid video.

And this year, we have a very special vendor.

And those in Group B, based on projected expenses,

And three men of average intelligence.

And to be honest...

And transfer it into a Pizza Hut, there's gonna be...

And try to engage meaningfully...

And turned into humans.

And um, well, I've been working here for a while,

And um, what side of the bed does she sleep on?

And watch someone take a baby?

And watched a guy rob the store.

And we all know where that leads.

And we are gonna watch ourselves

And we are on a time crunch. Walter can't drive at night.

And we came up with it.

And we caught it early so guess who has two thumbs

And we don't want to risk a trampling.

And we got through that day like a family.

And we should hire someone to bury treasure for us,

And we were both feeling a little lonely, so,

And we will forget everything.

And we'll be like, "Please, ladies, one at a time."

And we're about to go Quad A,

And we're having a baby together.

And we're just pretending your life is fine?

And we're not leaving till we figure out

And we're trying to figure out what he said.

And when a bird orgasms,

And when I'm ready, it's just like, "Nah."

And when we see milk squirting out of it,

And when you mentioned that he "worked" in insurance,

And where were you born?

And while I was waiting, I kind of realized.

And while it worked out okay this time,

And why did it stop when I prayed to Allah?

And why would I be jealous of her videos?

And why... why do you pierce your babies' ears so earl...

And with your story of rebuilding after the tornado,

And would I get to go with Jerusha?

And would you like Santa to bring you a real gift

And yeah, fine, okay.

And yet you kept the dress.

And you being pregnant

And you can only ask questions,

And you can only make it to the next round

And you didn't touch the body?

And you don't have an ID with you.

And you dumped me out of the blue,

And you guys knew him so well I thought maybe you could help.

And you have to have a password to get online

And you just jumped right back into bed with him?

And you know those people don't have the Internet.

And you know what the worst part is?

And you know what? I'm not going to college.

And you know, you mean the world to me.

And you made no attempt to stop him?

And you never know, one day you might even like me.

And you said, "Are you vaping?"

And you think they might be Haitian,

And you told him to follow his bliss.

And you wanna waste it on a hat?

And you were like, "Nah, girl, no way, no how, okay?"

And you were pregnant to kiss me.

And you were super mean about Bo.

And you'd be horrified by what people admitted to doing.

And you're gonna throw it all away