Birdgirl (2021) - Season 2 Edit

A couple of door swings to air things out.

A final boundary.

A gift. For your pretzel hands.

A happy childhood to oversee the toy line?

A little magic dust over the toy

A little smelly.

A lot of people died, I think.

A lot, a lot.

A measuring stick that comes in three fun colors

A moment shared between a woman and a man.

A play dialysis machine

A race of one.

A sexy ghost town.

A...Tax planner toby?

Aaaaaaaaah!

Aaannnd I guess that's the end of that sentence, huh?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Ooh!

Aah! Who are you?

About your reliance on single use plastics.

Abso [bleep] lutely.

Accidental. Oh, sweetie. Mostly?

Ach, that thing ruined my life!

Achtzig/zwanzig split, full ownership of ip.

Across town run by this adorable elderly man

Actually, uh, could you come with me?

Actuals, huh?

Ad lib. Oh. [ chuckles ]

Addressing those concerns with...

Adorable.

After I make missionary style love to a woman.

After the superstore opened,

After today? No.

Again. But I must go now

Against the stack we're gonna make out there.

Ages 18 plus.

Ah [bleep] it. Might as well kill myself.

Ah, bubala, buttercup, you've completed the wetting process.

Ah, christ, the judy guarantee.

Ah, I'm nekkid!

Ah, it looks like a little dicky.

Ah, that's a great question, denise.

Ah, your lips. What was that?

Ah.

Ah. ...He used to take me to this magical little toy shop

Ahem.

Ahh.

All human relations, really.

All the time we spent together, you're like a...

All will be revealed in time.

Allow us to make your visit...Magical.

Almost.

Already run out of the product.

Although it is the perfectly designed

Always do.

Am I dumb?

Am I pansexual or polysexual?

Am I saying "really" a lot?

An awesome leader or my money back.

An objectumsexual sticker to my sash.

An original 19th century hatching room.

And a booklet on tax dodges!

And also some of mine?

And best of all, you don't have a choice

And bold leadership of the white male.

And brian's. A short time ago,

And coc a ine balls.

And do exactly as you're told

And ethics are in the gray area, right where they belong.

And for some reason it's always kale.

And give me a piggyback.

And go to a kids' talent show. You're welcome.

And her job is to tune up troublemakers.

And here we have the vending machine I call tom,

And how you can be just as good as us.

And I don't have the courage to tell them no.

And I feel kind of responsible

And I happen to know there's a brick of skag

And I have given him the judy guarantee.

And I just wanted to let you know we have everything we need

And I make my own decisions!

And I need it now, gillian.

And I think you guys might want to get back here.

And I used my magic to curse maude,

And I wasn't here for you.

And I would sign it if I were you.

And I'm transferring a bunch of judy's appointments

And I've been holding in a fart since this morning,

And if you've corrupted the wanky,

And incredibly easy to exploit.

And it ain't gonna be hugh the way he's [bleep] going!

And it says I need to spend more time

And it's about to crack.

And it's our time to implement some experimental ideas

And it's time others did, too.

And it's, uh, probably best if you help me stop her.

And just like that, she's lost it.

And keep the walkie charged.

And leave you in the capable hands of the birdteam

And let go of that feeling of "I'm not good enough."

And locate the adjuster bar. [ engine revs, metal crunches ]

And make sure to stay with your designated buddy.

And maybe I'm a little like the child you never had?

And my burden.

And my little kidney kleaner,

And needs your support! Come on!

And never call me here.

And now a treat that's sure to delight and arouse.

And now it's come to pass.

And now you can stop looking at me

And one chin that can core a goddamn apple slice!

And revolutionary products.

And so am I, I guess.

And someone has to clean up the mess.

And special thanks for not pawning the whole thing off

And start again.

And staves off any fine lines.

And suck himself in, too.

And surprise! I don't like feeling used.

And synched.

And tell the employees I'm running late,

And that's a beautiful thing.

And that's a goddamn promise.

And that's why women shouldn't be ceos.

And the dust from your tears will imprison this lot forever!

And then wolves will come and finish the work for us.

And then, boom, problem solved?

And they get cancelled, we get sued,

And they might lead to something approaching a solution.

And they're disappointed.

And this is the "syliva situation."

And this? This was written for me!

And those mouths for brian, the handsy boss!

And took to her bed for three years,

And turned into something better.

And us her loyal followers as god and nature intended,

And us. [ clears throat ]

And was hustling nickels at the swap meet

And we blew some of their limbs off.

And we have launch.

And we should nay, we must

And we weren't talking about masturbation.

And what's that?

And when I'm gone, cj will take my place.

And you always will,

And you can get the [bleep] out.

And you released my skin sack before we had a chance to fuse.

And you're fired.

And you're presenting this quarter's projections.

And you're right. I was wrong to not reply

And you're the only one who can do it.

And your ceo office hours start in 15 minutes.

And your demo, single working women ages 32 to 40

And your name is penelope.

And, brian, if you do dine in,

And, brian, if you do stop,

And, god damn it, I'm gonna have it again!

And, paul, we're pushing the b.D. To next Tuesday.

Announcer: Enter now to win lunch hosted by birdcat

Another young lady sliding in my dms.

Any feelings at all?

Any kind of disinfectant!

Any true judette would die to meet you

Anyone else love hospitals?

Anyone wants their money back,

Anyone?

Anytime I fail, it's my own fault.

Anytime I succeed, it's because of the stick.

Are about more than just ripping farts.

Are open for business.

Are people creeped out by me?

Are so obsessed with this, but if you must know,

Are there any feelings coming up for you?

Are we going to have some fun?

Are we still in the flashback?

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

Are you bypassing the system

Are you here to save us?

Are you overworked and under sexed?

Argh, [bleep]!

Argh!

As a young mindtaker,

As it was when you asked it 10 minutes ago.

As long as you follow my timing,

As you all know, I don't have kids

As your best friend,

Asexual!

Augggggh!

Autosexual is an individual

Aw, happy holidays.

Back seat.

Bag 'em and drag 'em.

Ballet recital, in case anyone cares.

Baltimo readings through the roof.

Bam!

Bam! A crisp $50 to today's top closer,

Based on your mood and vitals.

Beans tear her ass up!

Beautiful. Except brian.

Because from here, it looks like she's pushing back on us.

Because I'm your boss, technically. Technically.

Because it is. [ beeping ]

Because it's us, I'm gonna assume there's no fire exit.

Because no one wants our garbage anymore!

Because sometimes people think they're texting paul r.

Because, I, too, was born with my destiny already forewritten.

Before she passed?

Before slapping my name on a random event to make money.

Before some erin brockotits sniffs it out.

Before you press the button,

Ben's always an option if I'm hard up, but it's like

Berlin, and melbourne have

Besides toby, there's measure me miles,

Birdcat, bad!

Birdcat: Hate. Judy. Car. Car.

Birdcat: Wake. The [bleep] up.

Birdcat.

Birdgirl thank god!

Birdgirl: Board members, I give you the fl(I),

Birdgirl: Gillian!

Birdgirl: Yeah, yeah, she escaped.

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl! [ glass shatters ]

Birdgirl's a different party.

Birdgirl's left sebbentown air space.

Birdsteam?

Birdteam, go!

Birdteam? Go!

Blame him.

Blame yourself. You're the ceo.

Board meeting in less than a minute.

Boy oop!

Boy oop!

Boys? Meet me in the nest.

Bravest person I've ever met.

Breathe in.

Brian: Brockotits, brockotits... I know that name.

Brian: The originally scheduled keynote address,

Bringing us to the 14th century,

Brockotits... She in marketing?

Bruh, we got to make sure we're always on each other's teams,

But [ clears throat ] I don't talk in front of people.

But as yourself.

But at least she was a [bleep]

But before she did, she showed me our future,

But first, who wants to hear judy's lunch orders?

But I knew one day you'd come a beggin'.

But I think the magic might be gone.

But I'm keeping my eye on a few hotspots.

But I'm sleep deprived and I've had a medium

But if he's a good boy, you can give him his spankys.

But if this sebbentown thing is really that important...

But it's not garbage. It's recycling, paul.

But listen here, when I set my mind to help someone,

But little judy found it first, and she played with it

But mandy's taking 100% of the credit like she always does.

But my blood oath!

But no talking. Music or podcast only.

But now I can't live without it.

But now lies under boards.

But only because we didn't have time

But over the next several hours, I'll share with you

But thankfully, I have a conference call.

But then I thought, "eh, [bleep] 'em,"

But there's no word in german for it!

But they'd built their entire act around that goddamn song.

But this is like driving with mama.

But unfortunately, you've chosen a life of "can't"

But we are gonna need a car.

But we can all agree that kids are fantastic.

But we do have...This.

But we need to divide and conquer to launch this baby.

But whatever you do, don't stop for the pastrami.

But where are we if we don't try?

But who'd want to

But you blew it.

But you didn't because you're a dumpster fire

But you're not quite?

But your boss said don't move.

But, uh, I'm off the sauce now and and struggling.

But, yeah, I know some stuff.

Buttzville.

Bwee oop!

By "set" do you mean "a pair" because...

By the time I got to my backup piece,

By the time I met him, he'd pissed it all away

By the way, I could hear everything.

Byeeeee!

Can break the curse."

Can I deal with the talking afterwards?

Can we, uh, get to the actuals and year to date projections?

Can you mix patterns?

Can you sign our fupas?

Can you, uh, run me across town?

Can't you keep it in your pants for 24 hours?

Car's packed and ready to go!

Careful.

Charles, you talk way too much when you're [bleep].

Charles! My love!

Charley: Judy, these are the judettes.

Charley: Whoa! Nine birdgirls.

Charlie, as much I'd love a contralto in the car,

Charlie: A little help?

Charlie: Feeling a little dry in here.

Charlie: Get me the [bleep] out of here!

Charlie: Let's just say I come from a highly evolved race,

Charlie: Pssst, hey you.

Charlie: Scarlie, don't run!

Charlie: Stop!

Charlie: Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Wait till you hit your 20s.

Charlie: Wanky buzz is off the charts.

Charlie: What's going on out there?

Charlie: Whoa!

Cj: There are so many things besides watch that you could do!

Claw their way back into your life

Clearly, you've never been to family therapy.

Codfish. Florentine style.

Come here, pretty girl.

Come here.

Come on, judy, pick up.

Come on, we never spend any time where it's just us girls.

Come on!

Come on. Come on.

Coming in here to use my toilet!

Company sanctioned sexuality in the workplace seminar.

Concierge service. Nice one, mere.

Contact paul not r in the lobby.

Coolers with wheels. Wars. Jam bands.

Could handle the wanky redesign and marketing.

Crab cakes! Stop doing that.

Cursive writing.

Cut.

Daddy's on a business trip, bri.

Danke, no. No, my tobbling days are over.

Danny belonged to my drinking buddy, lotto,

Danny boy, you're gonna make it!

Danny loves this song. Especially the 47th verse.

Data capitalism isn't tomorrow's problem!

Deal!

Desperately trying to prevent the people of planet earth

Dian ee. [ laughs ]

Diana?

Dick, or harriet makes a dumbass comment

Did I do good, boss?

Did I lose you with salad?

Did I powder today? [ buzzer ]

Didn't you pinch my ass at the harassment workshop

Diet dr. Pepper so I'm feeling a little [bleep] it.

Dine in?

Ding!

Do you have a points program?

Do you take time for yourself?

Do you want to stay?

Does anyone identify with that term?

Does anyone know what autosexual means?

Dog with bucket hat: Hello, brian.

Dog with bucket hat: It occurred to me

Dog with bucket hat: Now, brian, I'm imagining right about now

Dog with bucket hat: Some of you will pump sebben & sebben stock,

Dog with bucket hat: Why? Whyyy?!

Doing 7 to 10 upstate.

Don't [bleep] it up, gil.

Don't apologize.

Don't ask then I raced him to a doc

Don't dine in.

Don't let meredith and charley

Don't let them claw their way back in.

Don't let them suck you into their pool of cess.

Don't listen to them, judy.

Don't listen to them, queen!

Don't make me come out there.

Don't scare him.

Donna pushing a call? [ laughs ]

Down.

Down. Come on.

Dr. Andy patched you up real good, didn't he, danny?

Dr. Andy, you magnificent bastard!

Dr. Andy, you magnificent bastard!

Dr. Andy: Listen. I probably should've

Dr. Andy.

During stage one, it's vital to keep my sack damp.

Each fl(I) is powered by a fragment

Easy. He gave me an 18.5%

Eat shit, santa.

Eat. Car. Car.

Eating snacks, harmonizing to songs from my aughts mix.

Eh, let 'em have some fun.

Eh, not so fast. Cool your talons.

Either of you. Two.

Emotional situation.

Enchiladas suizas!

Enjoying crab cakes? I'll never stop doing that,

Est ce vraiment possible?

Euro engineering, expertly designed

Even if that me isn't who you or even I want me to be!

Even if they're begging me to stop.

Even lady diana needed clitoral stimulation.

Ever think of that?

Every 19 years for the past thousand or so,

Every day there's a storm, worse than the one before.

Every single person replied.

Everyone gets a goddamn chair?

Everyone, everyone, judy ken sebben,

Everyone, meredith acting ceo in name only

Everyone, shut up. I can't think.

Everyone's got at least one sticker.

Evie: [singsong] hey!

Evie: A woman in her jesus year.

Evie: I found a way to break the curse.

Evie: I warned them.

Evie: The whole system's melting down!

Evie: Yeah, yeah, it is,

Exactly!

Excellent choice.

Except for it's not weird because you do it every time

Except for what's still in the mines, right?

Except you.

Except your [bleep] john hancock!

Excuse me? Miss?

Excuse me. That s she's completely booked right now!

Festiva? Wait.

Final stretch.

Fine. I'm in.

Five minutes?!

Fl(I) system shutting down.

Flying is just walking with sparkle.

Focus.

Follow me, you're fired.

Fooled around and saved the world.

For an extra spicy surprise in your box.

For embarrassing me in front of my peers,

For expensive infused waters?

For feel good inspirational crap

For me, you mean.

For modern kids?

For sarah from social responsibility.

For slapping my name on a bunch of crap nobody wants or needs

For the jks kickoff speech. [ techno dance music playing ]

For the sake of growth.

For...Me.

Forgot about that.

Four pieces of chicken.

Freddie prinze jr. Look, at some point,

From accounting, yes.

From masturbating.

From the little miss sebben personal protection line.

From the perv ages.

Fun! Next time!

Fyi, anyone asks questions, and I will drop a dime

Gazela fired us.

Gazela: Now think of those

Gazela: Out of my way!

Genius scientist: The emf's spiking.

Gentle. Morning energy, please.

Get behind us, people!

Get down here! They're tonguing each other!

Get it away!

Get off your meaty haunches and stand as one.

Get out of my room, tiffany, or I'm gonna tell mom!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Get up here!

Giiiilllian! Can you come install this?

Gillian, can you give birdcat his shots while I'm away?

Gillian, come in here, please.

Gillian, I missed the bathroom break,

Gillian, text judy's new headshot to "the times."

Gillian: Hank! Beeswax!

Gillian: If we ever shared divine love,

Gillian!

Gillian! Ohh!

Gillian. Computer. Watch.

Gillian. Gillianianiana.

Gillian...

Gillian's gone carrie again.

Girl's trip!

Give it to me straight, dr. Andy.

Given that we've only been here 45 minutes,

Glad we could be of help.

Go [bleep] yourself, josh.

Go back!

Go for miles from accounting.

Go for rudy from sales for...

Go for sandra from consumer affairs.

God damn it!

God wants you to eat.

God, I love hotel tv.

God, I used to have a chin that could core an apple

God, you both need a banana.

Goddamn. I should be home by now.

Gotta go anyway.

Great would've been if you'd cleared this with me

Great! Let's get to work!

Greg: Where is she?

Growing pains. Hey. Look at me.

Guess I expected you to notice,

Guess we could've used prop drugs.

Guiltish. I've got your voice down pat.

Gut! [ woman screams, audience gasps, glass shatters ]

Guys, I'm using self deprecation to seem relatable.

Guys, I've got something to show you.

Guys! I found it!

Ha! An upcharge.

Hah! Judy's incapable of firing anyone.

Haha, 'cause you're not really german, are you?

Hank! I need to let go of what does not serve me!

Hard pass. Mere.

Harness the power of your mind.

Has a son. Third time.

Has been canceled. [ audience murmurs ]

Has something to do with his father?

Have done to your beautiful toy!

He comes with his own spreadsheets

He died of heartbreak.

He doesn't have one. I grew him in the hatching room.

He swallowed the keys, and we're all gonna die!

He was but a wisp the last time you saw him, eh, charlie?

He will resist.

He's gone.

He's not all right!

He's secretly trying to kill me!

He's with the chickens now.

Healthy lunch, healthy butt.

Hello, old friend.

Hello. If you've ever doubted you can be happy

Her brain filters out the negative,

Her name's "bith," which is "beth" in new zealand.

Here's the bean dip.

Hey, brian?

Hey, evie!

Hey, gang! Judy's gonna wank

Hey, gill. Happy hour?

Hey, guys, back from pt oh!

Hey, mike, think I can fit this whole thing in my

Hey, paws off, guys.

Hey, uh, we've run into a little problem

Hey, what say we get someone who had

Hey! [ imitating fanfare ]

Hey! [ imitating fanfare ]

Hey! [ imitating fanfare ]

Hey! [ imitating fanfare ]

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! I need your john hancock on these sec forms,

Hi, I'm gazela, your personal power guide.

Highly addictive. You can't eat it.

His teste?

Hmph. Maybe I could see

Ho ho, I know where I go to flack the flep.

Hold her. Feel the power of bith.

Hold on, I'm texting donna to push the call.

Hold your squirt.

Holy shit, it is!

How about we just leave his body in the woods

How about you teach one of us how to fly this thing?

How do you work this g.D. Thing?

How does she break the curse?

How we became so magnificent

How'd you pay for this?

How's Wednesday?

Huh. She's early this month.

Human waste!

Hurry!

Husbands, eh?

I act out whenever I'm in the minority.

I always have so much anxiety with driving,

I always recycle. It's part of my weltanschauung.

I am a dangerous goddess

I am a technosexual. It makes perfect sense.

I am born again.

I am in.

I am on it.

I am perfect.

I am strong! I am powerful!

I brought stuff for s'mores!

I call next.

I came downstairs to the shop floor

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but we need birdgirl.

I can't believe I'm going to have to wait another

I can't handle this.

I can't make toys here.

I can't tell what's real.

I can't thank you guys enough.

I can't turn off this much!

I can't! I got too much to live for!

I come from a centuries old line of attendants

I could do this.

I could use another steady pair of hands and...

I diarrhea'd on it.

I did ask, in a non asking way.

I did. Now I'm running

I didn't know how much I needed fellowship,

I didn't mean "don't move!"

I didn't say you were attacking me.

I do a lot of reading on birthing techniques.

I do feel awful about what the company has done to your town.

I do wide squats three days a week.

I don't even know how I got this way, I just am.

I don't usually do this, but I'm, well...

I feel a fair amount of familial responsibility for,

I feel like I'm being used.

I feel like my employees are whoring me out

I got a clam.

I got a hook up in the recreational vehicle space.

I got it when I went to new zealand to visit

I got the mix options for tonight's party ken sebben.

I got you so you'd outlive me!

I got you, mere.

I got you.

I gotta trust my foop.

I guess you could say this project is important to me.

I guess. Now get out there

I had no idea you needed me, like, really needed me,

I hate humanity.

I hate you so very deeply. Screw you! Screw you! Screw you!

I hate your job, jude.

I have a keynote speech to give.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I haven't peed in 24 hours,

I hear you, but you can't run this.

I heard she had a photographic memory.

I heard took cash and didn't ask a lotta questions.

I help 'em.

I hope that no one notices.

I hope the stripper isn't grossed out by me.

I I gotta take this.

I I have a new team who wants what's best for me, so...

I is this a birdteam mission?

I just needed a third set of balls.

I knew it. She has been on a tear!

I know a fun toy when I see one.

I know I should lie to make you feel better.

I know that because my first boyfriend was a pretend german!

I know that's a trigger word.

I left 2 minutes wiggle room.

I like the way this is going.

I love animals!

I mean not necessarily with the wanky,

I mean, you are the half of the team

I mean...

I need a team meeting with you two in the board room.

I need someone with your temperament for an...

I need stick!

I need to focus on the me right now.

I need your ollie wolcott on a b day card

I never told you how danny and I became friends.

I no longer need you.

I now pronounce you interim ceo of sebben & sebben.

I overcome. I prevail.

I prevail. I strive.

I pull the strings! You're a trained monkey!

I ran him to my car then accidentally ran over him

I really, finally, can trust my gut.

I said I felt attacked.

I sat on it...

I say: My jks power planner with color coded affirmation inserts.

I scheduled your bathroom break for an hour ago,

I shall return!

I started to feel something and I never feel something!

I strive. I win.

I suppose charlie and I

I suppose we could.

I tell ya, when I was four, mother had one of her spells

I think I'll fly this one solo.

I think we're getting somewhere!

I think we've established that.

I thought I was calling paul r.

I thought we destroyed it.

I told you never to call me here.

I told you these outfits made sense.

I undershot it.

I understand that as a ceo,

I understand. Thank you.

I used her to rid the world of perverts like mine frau.

I used to love those appointments at school

I used to love watching you tobble.

I vowed to lead us into the 21st century...

I want to thank you.

I want you to fail.

I was about to fall over anyway.

I was more wondering why there's a goat on the table, but sure.

I was obsessed with them, controlled by them...

I was on the varsity judo team.

I was roleplaying!

I was running a five stack game in a chop shop downtown...

I was security. Danny ran the door.

I will admit most of them have been mild and mostly...

I wish you hadn't said that. Now I have no choice.

I wish.

I wonder if that store's still there?

I would like to welcome you all to paul's 100%

I wouldn't. Sorry. Who's this?

I, like the versions of me before me,

I'd be a wreck without her.

I'd be delighted! Somebody loved it.

I'd have to go with the protein bar.

I'd like to report a stolen truck.

I'd like to strenuously object to the manner

I'll get my clothes back on.

I'll have cj make up the guest room where we keep the dolls.

I'll have the scallops,

I'll have you know I had a goddamn great childhood

I'll just drag you down.

I'll make it up to them, and you.

I'll never have a vaginal orgasm.

I'll see you in 19 years.

I'll show all of you! [ doll cries ]

I'll show you.

I'll start tomorrow.

I'll take my 100 in cash.

I'm about to blow your minds with this take.

I'm austrian!

I'm being sexual.

I'm building him a workshop downstairs.

I'm detecting high variations in your heart rate.

I'm devon, claude's son.

I'm flirting.

I'm gonna be that guy. Imagine a fork in a dolphin.

I'm gonna need you to hold down the fort while we're gone.

I'm her attendant!

I'm her attendant!

I'm just gonna have to set a boundary with you.

I'm just trying to find a persona that fits.

I'm listening.

I'm not attacking you.

I'm not sure it's fair to judge me. [ groans ]

I'm not. I can't. I won't. I don't.

I'm on a vip secret mission.

I'm on the birdteam.

I'm part of the problem. I use recyclable straw!

I'm sexy as hell!