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Dennis the Menace Dennis the Menace is a beloved character who has captured the hearts of audiences around the world

Dennis the Menace

Dennis the Menace is a beloved character who has captured the hearts of audiences around the world through various mediums, including film and television. The mischievous young boy has been the star of several adaptations, each bringing his unique adventures to life.

One notable adaptation is the 1993 film titled "Dennis the Menace," directed by Nick Castle. This comedy film portrays the hilarious antics of Dennis Mitchell, played by the talented young actor Mason Gamble. Accompanying Gamble in the cast is Walter Matthau, who portrays Mr. George Wilson, Dennis's grumpy neighbor. Matthau's stellar performance perfectly captures the essence of Mr. Wilson, showcasing his exasperation and eventual bond with Dennis.

The film also features Joan Plowright as Mrs. Martha Wilson, Mr. Wilson's kind-hearted wife who constantly tries to mend the relationship between Dennis and her husband. Christopher Lloyd takes on the role of Switchblade Sam, the film's main antagonist, adding an element of danger and excitement to the story. The cast is rounded out by Lea Thompson as Dennis's mother, Ruffie the dog, and a host of other talented actors who bring warmth and humor to this iconic family film.

For fans of the television series adaptation, they will recall "Dennis the Menace," which aired from 1959 to 1963. This beloved show follows the misadventures of Dennis, a young boy with a knack for getting into trouble. Jay North portrays Dennis, showcasing his mischievous charm alongside the talented Joseph Kearns, who plays Mr. Wilson. Kearns brings a comedic brilliance to his portrayal of the grumpy neighbor, creating unforgettable moments of frustration and laughter.

Gale Gordon takes on the role of John Wilson, Mr. Wilson's brother, bringing his own unique comedic touch to the show. Gloria Henry stars as Alice Mitchell, Dennis's loving and patient mother, who constantly finds herself caught up in her son's escapades. Other memorable characters include Mrs. Elkins, the nosy neighbor played by Irene Tedrow, and Tommy Anderson, Dennis's best friend, played by Billy Booth. This iconic cast of characters formed the foundation of the television series and made it a timeless classic.

For those looking to relive the sounds of Dennis the Menace or enjoy them for the first time, the abilities to play and download these sounds can be found here. Listeners can immerse themselves in the misadventures of Dennis, whether it be through the infectious laughter and catchy theme song of the television series or the whimsical and playful soundtrack of the film.

Playing and downloading these sounds offers a delightful opportunity to reminisce about childhood memories or introduce a new generation to the world of Dennis the Menace. These sounds capture the essence of the mischievous character as he navigates his way through various escapades, often leaving chaos and laughter in his wake.

In conclusion, Dennis the Menace has made a lasting impact on popular culture, entertaining audiences through both film and television. The talented casts and memorable soundtracks of these adaptations bring this lovable character to life, making him a beloved figure of childhood humor and mischief. Whether it's the 1993 film featuring Mason Gamble and Walter Matthau or the 1959-1963 television series starring Jay North and Joseph Kearns, the sounds and performances of Dennis the Menace continue to resonate with fans across generations.

A apple.
A apple.
A little boy's going to join us for a party.
A little boy's going to join us for a party.
A lot of moms work.
A lot of moms work.
A love nest.
A love nest.
A menace.
A menace.
A selfish, spoiled little boy and I have no use for you.
A selfish, spoiled little boy and I have no use for you.
A tragedy of this magnitude has to be somebody's fault.
A tragedy of this magnitude has to be somebody's fault.
Acting like a baby.
Acting like a baby.
Ain't that a pretty sight?
Ain't that a pretty sight?
Alice, your coffee.
Alice, your coffee.
All right, members, don't be timid.
All right, members, don't be timid.
All right. Let's go.
All right. Let's go.
All right. Let's wrap it up.
All right. Let's wrap it up.
And he don't like them any better than me.
And he don't like them any better than me.
And I have plans I can't break.
And I have plans I can't break.
And I must get clean underwear and my camera...
And I must get clean underwear and my camera...
And I would have made a swell fireman.
And I would have made a swell fireman.
And it's a good time to say you're sorry.
And it's a good time to say you're sorry.
And not cry when mean cabooses and boxcars make fun of them.
And not cry when mean cabooses and boxcars make fun of them.
And wood.
And wood.
And you have to assume that potential tenants...
And you have to assume that potential tenants...
And, boy, is he sick.
And, boy, is he sick.
Are you feeling all right? Dennis said that you...
Are you feeling all right? Dennis said that you...
Are you our little host?
Are you our little host?
Are you ready to get out of here and go to bed, yet?
Are you ready to get out of here and go to bed, yet?
Are you serious?
Are you serious?
Are you wrinkled enough yet, Dennis?
Are you wrinkled enough yet, Dennis?
Aren't you supposed to be in the daycare area with the other children?
Aren't you supposed to be in the daycare area with the other children?
Aren't you taking this a bit far, George?
Aren't you taking this a bit far, George?
As we await this glorious moment...
As we await this glorious moment...
Attention, everyone.
Attention, everyone.
Be a good boy, okay?
Be a good boy, okay?
Because if I can't be with my parents...
Because if I can't be with my parents...
Because if you want to blow off your trip, I have to cover for you.
Because if you want to blow off your trip, I have to cover for you.
Because you're an old grump.
Because you're an old grump.
Bend down.
Bend down.
Both. I had a nose for hiding places.
Both. I had a nose for hiding places.
Bring me something good.
Bring me something good.
But that doesn't mean my feelings for you have gone cold.
But that doesn't mean my feelings for you have gone cold.
But that's the last place he'd go.
But that's the last place he'd go.
But you try your way.
But you try your way.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
Can I call you back?
Can I call you back?
Can I push the button?
Can I push the button?
Can you read this here?
Can you read this here?
Careful how you say it.
Careful how you say it.
Cheek pinchers.
Cheek pinchers.
Climb down from there. I'll get my purse.
Climb down from there. I'll get my purse.
Close your eyes!
Close your eyes!
Come on in.
Come on in.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Cool!
Cool!
Cool!
Cool!
Cool.
Cool.
Could I leave it by his whisker cutter?
Could I leave it by his whisker cutter?
Could you get somebody to come and clear this away?
Could you get somebody to come and clear this away?
Could you spare us the family anecdotes?
Could you spare us the family anecdotes?
Dennis has been fooling around with paint. I know it, and I will prove it.
Dennis has been fooling around with paint. I know it, and I will prove it.
Dennis is cheating. He's using the Beckman kid as a spy.
Dennis is cheating. He's using the Beckman kid as a spy.
Dennis, come on.
Dennis, come on.
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis!
Dennis?
Dennis?
Dennis?
Dennis?
Did you shoot an aspirin into Mr. Wilson's mouth?
Did you shoot an aspirin into Mr. Wilson's mouth?
Didn't I ask you to shut your yap?
Didn't I ask you to shut your yap?
Do forts got carpet?
Do forts got carpet?
Do I get to use a gun?
Do I get to use a gun?
Do it!
Do it!
Do you guys swear you didn't take it?
Do you guys swear you didn't take it?
Do you know how to do that?
Do you know how to do that?
Do you think he would get mad if I went upstairs?
Do you think he would get mad if I went upstairs?
Don't be foolish.
Don't be foolish.
Don't call me stupid, baby rump kisser!
Don't call me stupid, baby rump kisser!
Don't do that, please.
Don't do that, please.
Don't embarrass me.
Don't embarrass me.
Don't embarrass me.
Don't embarrass me.
Don't get your hopes up.
Don't get your hopes up.
Don't make a pest of yourself and don't embarrass me.
Don't make a pest of yourself and don't embarrass me.
Don't start with the regrets.
Don't start with the regrets.
Don't worry about it. You get home when you can.
Don't worry about it. You get home when you can.
Don't worry, I got it!
Don't worry, I got it!
Don't you dare embarrass me!
Don't you dare embarrass me!
Don't you ever come back here again.
Don't you ever come back here again.
Don't you ever come back! Do you hear me?
Don't you ever come back! Do you hear me?
Either side, either side.
Either side, either side.
Especially old people.
Especially old people.
Excuse me, mister. Do you want to see?
Excuse me, mister. Do you want to see?
Feeling all right!
Feeling all right!
Fine, I'll drag you inside.
Fine, I'll drag you inside.
Firewood. Bombs away!
Firewood. Bombs away!
First, you must tie up each leg by itself.
First, you must tie up each leg by itself.
Forts don't got carpet!
Forts don't got carpet!
Forts don't have powder rooms.
Forts don't have powder rooms.
Forty years ago...
Forty years ago...
Forty years down the drain.
Forty years down the drain.
Forty years to mature and blossom.
Forty years to mature and blossom.
Four!
Four!
From that tiny seed...
From that tiny seed...
G.D. Wading pool!
G.D. Wading pool!
Garden lanterns.
Garden lanterns.
Gather over here, please.
Gather over here, please.
Gee, I guess those kids took off.
Gee, I guess those kids took off.
George said Dennis shot an aspirin into his mouth with a slingshot.
George said Dennis shot an aspirin into his mouth with a slingshot.
George Wilson, you have no right to insult Alice.
George Wilson, you have no right to insult Alice.
George, are you sleeping?
George, are you sleeping?
George, don't start, George.
George, don't start, George.
George, take Dennis' suitcase up to the guest room, please.
George, take Dennis' suitcase up to the guest room, please.
George, who were you shouting at?
George, who were you shouting at?
George, would you bring the coffee?
George, would you bring the coffee?
George?
George?
George? Are you ready?
George? Are you ready?
George.
George.
Get lost.
Get lost.
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
Get out of my way.
Get the handcuff key.
Get the handcuff key.
Get up!
Get up!
Girls. Now...
Girls. Now...
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Give the toy store six months free rent to move up to the third level.
Give the toy store six months free rent to move up to the third level.
God.
God.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good thing I know a lot about ropes, huh?
Good thing I know a lot about ropes, huh?
Good. I'll be the decorator.
Good. I'll be the decorator.
Grownup guys are happy in the morning when they wake up.
Grownup guys are happy in the morning when they wake up.
Guess what?
Guess what?
Gunther, are you watching where everybody goes?
Gunther, are you watching where everybody goes?
Gunther, I'm just talking to your daddy on the telephone.
Gunther, I'm just talking to your daddy on the telephone.
Hang the looks of the thing!
Hang the looks of the thing!
Have a Cub Scout meeting or something?
Have a Cub Scout meeting or something?
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Have a seat. It's time to begin the ceremony.
Have a seat. It's time to begin the ceremony.
Have it your own way.
Have it your own way.
He better get used to it. Disappointment will be a big part of his life.
He better get used to it. Disappointment will be a big part of his life.
He can't sit in the corner.
He can't sit in the corner.
He can't spend all his free time here.
He can't spend all his free time here.
He eats all his coal and gets plenty of sleep.
He eats all his coal and gets plenty of sleep.
He feels warm.
He feels warm.
He has a temperature.
He has a temperature.
He knows he won't get anything unless it's a special occasion, but like every kid...
He knows he won't get anything unless it's a special occasion, but like every kid...
He must be exhausted.
He must be exhausted.
He won't be over at all.
He won't be over at all.
He'll be out any second.
He'll be out any second.
He'll knot my rope once too often.
He'll knot my rope once too often.
He's a foot short for his age. And he's cross eyed.
He's a foot short for his age. And he's cross eyed.
He's a menace.
He's a menace.
He's cheating.
He's cheating.
He's going to the ice cream store. He wants to take you with him.
He's going to the ice cream store. He wants to take you with him.
He's got a fever, and he's burning up.
He's got a fever, and he's burning up.
He's growing extra skin.
He's growing extra skin.
He's only a boy, George.
He's only a boy, George.
He's only a boy, huh?
He's only a boy, huh?
He's only a boy.
He's only a boy.
He's out of school now.
He's out of school now.
He's rich!
He's rich!
Hello, George.
Hello, George.
Hello, George. Alice Mitchell.
Hello, George. Alice Mitchell.
Hello, Martha.
Hello, Martha.
Hello, Polly. Come on in.
Hello, Polly. Come on in.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Help.
Help.
Hey, mister!
Hey, mister!
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Hey, Mr. Wilson!
Hey, Mr. Wilson. I'm sleeping at your joint.
Hey, Mr. Wilson. I'm sleeping at your joint.
Hey, you.
Hey, you.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mr. Mitchell.
Hi, Mr. Mitchell.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Alice Mitchell.
Hi. Alice Mitchell.
Hi. Alice Mitchell.
Hi. Alice Mitchell.
Hi. This is Mrs. Mitchell.
Hi. This is Mrs. Mitchell.
Hiding or seeking?
Hiding or seeking?
His heart sounds like our washing machine!
His heart sounds like our washing machine!
His tongue's very ugly...
His tongue's very ugly...
Hold on, I'm coming.
Hold on, I'm coming.
Hold on. I'm coming.
Hold on. I'm coming.
Holy smokes!
Holy smokes!
Honey?
Honey?
How about if I recite my favorite poem when I was your age?
How about if I recite my favorite poem when I was your age?
How can a train grow?
How can a train grow?
How come you ask so many questions?
How come you ask so many questions?
How come you need one?
How come you need one?
How come your safe looks like books?
How come your safe looks like books?
How do you feel about me working?
How do you feel about me working?
How long do you think he's going to sleep?
How long do you think he's going to sleep?
How? You can't move. Open up.
How? You can't move. Open up.
However you deal with him...
However you deal with him...
Hurry up and go home!
Hurry up and go home!
I ain't hungry!
I ain't hungry!
I arranged with Mrs. Wade for you to go to their house while I work.
I arranged with Mrs. Wade for you to go to their house while I work.
I asked that it be rescheduled.
I asked that it be rescheduled.
I bet it's your address.
I bet it's your address.
I bet they don't even lock their doors.
I bet they don't even lock their doors.
I bet you've never tied up a 5 year old. I'll just get out.
I bet you've never tied up a 5 year old. I'll just get out.
I better call Martha.
I better call Martha.
I better cover him up so he doesn't catch his death of cold.
I better cover him up so he doesn't catch his death of cold.
I brought my own pillow so I don't get my spit on yours.
I brought my own pillow so I don't get my spit on yours.
I can only be your hostage till tomorrow.
I can only be your hostage till tomorrow.
I can't because my nose is stuffy because of my allergies.
I can't because my nose is stuffy because of my allergies.
I can't shut my mouth because my nose is stuffy.
I can't shut my mouth because my nose is stuffy.
I can't stand that kid! He's a menace!
I can't stand that kid! He's a menace!
I can't tell you how deeply moved I am.
I can't tell you how deeply moved I am.
I can't. I didn't take my bath yet.
I can't. I didn't take my bath yet.
I didn't decree that we wouldn't have children.
I didn't decree that we wouldn't have children.
I didn't do anything bad enough to deserve to go to her house.
I didn't do anything bad enough to deserve to go to her house.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't want him to bite off my fingers with his big, fake teeth.
I didn't want him to bite off my fingers with his big, fake teeth.
I don't have a cork.
I don't have a cork.
I don't have kids but...
I don't have kids but...
I don't know if I'll even be able to enjoy my moment of triumph.
I don't know if I'll even be able to enjoy my moment of triumph.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't think...
I don't think...
I don't want any nonsense.
I don't want any nonsense.
I don't want everybody to think I'm a child hater or an ogre.
I don't want everybody to think I'm a child hater or an ogre.
I don't want to know you. I don't want to see you.
I don't want to know you. I don't want to see you.
I don't want to see you. I don't want to know you.
I don't want to see you. I don't want to know you.
I got a 9:30, ma'am.
I got a 9:30, ma'am.
I got him this time.
I got him this time.
I got it! I got it!
I got it! I got it!
I got your gold back.
I got your gold back.
I had to wait a whole night and a day to get it back.
I had to wait a whole night and a day to get it back.
I have church in the morning.
I have church in the morning.
I have one more question.
I have one more question.
I have to go to Margaret's house...
I have to go to Margaret's house...
I have to take him to Margaret Wade's house.
I have to take him to Margaret Wade's house.
I haven't figured out how to get my work done...
I haven't figured out how to get my work done...
I haven't seen you around here before.
I haven't seen you around here before.
I hear you're trying to beg off the Oklahoma City trip.
I hear you're trying to beg off the Oklahoma City trip.
I just won't be able to help you.
I just won't be able to help you.
I know what you need.
I know what you need.
I know your garden party's tonight. I feel terrible.
I know your garden party's tonight. I feel terrible.
I know.
I know.
I like that rhubarb pie that Martha makes.
I like that rhubarb pie that Martha makes.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
I made an "I'm Sorry I Shot Paint on Your Chicken" card.
I made an "I'm Sorry I Shot Paint on Your Chicken" card.
I mean, managing shopping malls can't be much more difficult...
I mean, managing shopping malls can't be much more difficult...
I mean, you must remember back to all the times Dennis upset you.
I mean, you must remember back to all the times Dennis upset you.
I promise.
I promise.
I really have to go.
I really have to go.
I recited a poem for Dennis tonight...
I recited a poem for Dennis tonight...
I remembered every word.
I remembered every word.
I run a nice, clean town here and I don't want any trouble.
I run a nice, clean town here and I don't want any trouble.
I see Joey and Mike!
I see Joey and Mike!
I swallowed my allowance once.
I swallowed my allowance once.
I think I better go outside and play.
I think I better go outside and play.
I think it's because they take off their shirts.
I think it's because they take off their shirts.
I think the little rat put mouthwash in my nasal spray...
I think the little rat put mouthwash in my nasal spray...
I thought he was sick. I was only trying to help.
I thought he was sick. I was only trying to help.
I tied up lots of guys in my life.
I tied up lots of guys in my life.
I use it all the time.
I use it all the time.
I was at Mr. Wilson's house.
I was at Mr. Wilson's house.
I was husky.
I was husky.
I was until you started yakking.
I was until you started yakking.
I was with the post office for more than 43 years, and never once...
I was with the post office for more than 43 years, and never once...
I will cherish this forever.
I will cherish this forever.
I won't forget it.
I won't forget it.
I won't have to travel anymore.
I won't have to travel anymore.
I won't mince words, Mitchell.
I won't mince words, Mitchell.
I would have been a good mother.
I would have been a good mother.
I would have liked a son or a daughter.
I would have liked a son or a daughter.
I wouldn't think you'd be much good at hiding.
I wouldn't think you'd be much good at hiding.
I'll call you just as soon as I arrive.
I'll call you just as soon as I arrive.
I'll come by after work and we can continue the conversation.
I'll come by after work and we can continue the conversation.
I'll even things up.
I'll even things up.
I'll get out and you'll just have to keep doing it.
I'll get out and you'll just have to keep doing it.
I'll get you out of there.
I'll get you out of there.
I'll go back.
I'll go back.
I'll make sure Dennis doesn't come by anymore.
I'll make sure Dennis doesn't come by anymore.
I'll make us some sandwiches.
I'll make us some sandwiches.
I'll say you did and she'll believe it. Because boys are like that and girls aren't.
I'll say you did and she'll believe it. Because boys are like that and girls aren't.
I'll slug you back.
I'll slug you back.
I'll take them, dear.
I'll take them, dear.
I'll tell you when to look.
I'll tell you when to look.
I'll tie it so tight you won't be able to move.
I'll tie it so tight you won't be able to move.
I'm a good shot. Want to see?
I'm a good shot. Want to see?
I'm a reasonable man who expects reasonable treatment...
I'm a reasonable man who expects reasonable treatment...
I'm a thief.
I'm a thief.
I'm going to get this little kid!
I'm going to get this little kid!
I'm going to investigate Mitchell's garage.
I'm going to investigate Mitchell's garage.
I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to kill you.
I'm kind of busy today, so I won't have a chance to give it to him.
I'm kind of busy today, so I won't have a chance to give it to him.
I'm looking for Polly.
I'm looking for Polly.
I'm not even wrinkled up yet. Keep reading.
I'm not even wrinkled up yet. Keep reading.
I'm not terribly good with feelings and emotions.
I'm not terribly good with feelings and emotions.
I'm not the bad guy in this, Mitchell.
I'm not the bad guy in this, Mitchell.
I'm running a little late.
I'm running a little late.
I'm sorry about this morning.
I'm sorry about this morning.
I'm sorry you're not having a very fun camping trip.
I'm sorry you're not having a very fun camping trip.
I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.
I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm still in Oklahoma.
I'm still in Oklahoma.
I'm the doctor. Open up and say...
I'm the doctor. Open up and say...
I'm the victim!
I'm the victim!
I'm very sorry.
I'm very sorry.
I'm...
I'm...
I've been robbed!
I've been robbed!
I've got a slingshot.
I've got a slingshot.
I've lost the only man I ever loved.
I've lost the only man I ever loved.
I've only been around for five years.
I've only been around for five years.
If I shut my mouth, I can't breathe good.
If I shut my mouth, I can't breathe good.
If people have to go up to the third level to visit the toy store...
If people have to go up to the third level to visit the toy store...
If you can't do that, you're in trouble.
If you can't do that, you're in trouble.
If you didn't have men, who'd drive the ladies to the hospital?
If you didn't have men, who'd drive the ladies to the hospital?
If you didn't have women, you wouldn't have babies...
If you didn't have women, you wouldn't have babies...
If you really don't want me to move at all...
If you really don't want me to move at all...
If you two are traveling at the same time, no one can watch your kid.
If you two are traveling at the same time, no one can watch your kid.
If you want to forsake your neighbors when they need help, do it alone.
If you want to forsake your neighbors when they need help, do it alone.
In 1925, I was not the exception, I was the rule.
In 1925, I was not the exception, I was the rule.
In case the cops show up.
In case the cops show up.
In some tiny measure...
In some tiny measure...
Is it real valuable?
Is it real valuable?
Is Mr. Wilson up yet?
Is Mr. Wilson up yet?
Is that the problem?
Is that the problem?
Is that why you keep it in your safe?
Is that why you keep it in your safe?
It doesn't matter, anyways, Margaret.
It doesn't matter, anyways, Margaret.
It isn't a tragedy.
It isn't a tragedy.
It looks kind of junky.
It looks kind of junky.
It means it's a number that I use all the time, so I won't forget it.
It means it's a number that I use all the time, so I won't forget it.
It must be all the fresh air.
It must be all the fresh air.
It opens before your eyes in the light of the full moon.
It opens before your eyes in the light of the full moon.
It teaches kids to eat all their food...
It teaches kids to eat all their food...
It won't be a fort. It'll be a house.
It won't be a fort. It'll be a house.
It'll work out real nice.
It'll work out real nice.
It's 10:00, Martha.
It's 10:00, Martha.
It's a marvel, Martha.
It's a marvel, Martha.
It's about...
It's about...
It's Alice.
It's Alice.
It's an awfully homely looking plant.
It's an awfully homely looking plant.
It's coming.
It's coming.
It's in my head.
It's in my head.
It's just plain bad luck.
It's just plain bad luck.
It's no one's fault.
It's no one's fault.
It's not here. Somebody took it.
It's not here. Somebody took it.
It's not right that his youngster can run wild doing as he pleases...
It's not right that his youngster can run wild doing as he pleases...
It's our pleasure.
It's our pleasure.
It's the only way to get the key.
It's the only way to get the key.
It's this one!
It's this one!
It's your mouth.
It's your mouth.
Joey hasn't seen him all night?
Joey hasn't seen him all night?
Joey, you hold the hammer and, Margaret, you hold the nail.
Joey, you hold the hammer and, Margaret, you hold the nail.
Joey's at Margaret's house.
Joey's at Margaret's house.
Joey's mother made plans with Mrs. Wade just like I did.
Joey's mother made plans with Mrs. Wade just like I did.
Kids are kids.
Kids are kids.
Kids!
Kids!
Kiss me.
Kiss me.
Know how I know?
Know how I know?
Ladies, girls, the party's in the back.
Ladies, girls, the party's in the back.
Leave them alone, George.
Leave them alone, George.
Let me take that off your hands. Sorry.
Let me take that off your hands. Sorry.
Let's go up and see what color carpet we should get.
Let's go up and see what color carpet we should get.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's start with the A's.
Let's start with the A's.
Like what? Play golf and drink beer?
Like what? Play golf and drink beer?
Look at the cute little boy.
Look at the cute little boy.
Look!
Look!
Margaret.
Margaret.
Margaret's house!
Margaret's house!
Martha, step back. You're in the picture.
Martha, step back. You're in the picture.
Martha!
Martha!
Martha?
Martha?
Martha.
Martha.
Maybe because I've never been around here.
Maybe because I've never been around here.
Me?
Me?
Mind your manners and listen to Mr. And Mrs. Wilson.
Mind your manners and listen to Mr. And Mrs. Wilson.
Mister, can you watch me for a minute?
Mister, can you watch me for a minute?
Mister.
Mister.
Mitchell can't deny it.
Mitchell can't deny it.
Mitchell, and I wasn't shouting. I was making my point.
Mitchell, and I wasn't shouting. I was making my point.
Mitchell!
Mitchell!
Mom! Dad!
Mom! Dad!
Most important, they marry the women, then the women can go and get the baby.
Most important, they marry the women, then the women can go and get the baby.
Move down front. Plenty of seats.
Move down front. Plenty of seats.
Mr. Wilson is very angry with you.
Mr. Wilson is very angry with you.
Mr. Wilson taught me how to tie knots.
Mr. Wilson taught me how to tie knots.
Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson!
Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson?
Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson.
Mush your lips together and let's get this over with.
Mush your lips together and let's get this over with.
Must you ask?
Must you ask?
My advice to you is just follow the sun out of here.
My advice to you is just follow the sun out of here.
My dad's so happy...
My dad's so happy...
My flight's been cancelled.
My flight's been cancelled.
My friend has a bike lock...
My friend has a bike lock...
My husband has a trip that was scheduled before mine.
My husband has a trip that was scheduled before mine.
My life is falling apart.
My life is falling apart.
My name is Dennis Mitchell.
My name is Dennis Mitchell.
Never!
Never!
New pajamas. God bless 'em.
New pajamas. God bless 'em.
No matter how much I wiggle, I can't ever get out.
No matter how much I wiggle, I can't ever get out.
No wonder he ain't up.
No wonder he ain't up.
No, because you don't know which button to push.
No, because you don't know which button to push.
No, but I gave him an aspirin.
No, but I gave him an aspirin.
No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish.
No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish.
No, what's the point of reading lies?
No, what's the point of reading lies?
No.
No.
Nobody robbed your doll.
Nobody robbed your doll.
Nobody shoots a marble at my head...
Nobody shoots a marble at my head...
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Not too much longer. He's having his picture taken this morning.
Not too much longer. He's having his picture taken this morning.
Not unless you want to see what the stork saw.
Not unless you want to see what the stork saw.
Not yet, dear.
Not yet, dear.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Now don't make me out to be a grump. I didn't say "never. " I said...
Now don't make me out to be a grump. I didn't say "never. " I said...
Now it's fair.
Now it's fair.
Now we can order furniture and major appliances.
Now we can order furniture and major appliances.
Now, look.
Now, look.
Now...
Now...
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, good. I'm sorry now.
Oh, good. I'm sorry now.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
Oh, really? Like what?
Oh, really? Like what?
Oh, sweetheart! Thank God, you're okay.
Oh, sweetheart! Thank God, you're okay.
Okay, on the count of three...
Okay, on the count of three...
Okay, this time on the count of four.
Okay, this time on the count of four.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Old Faithful.
Old Faithful.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi...
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi...
One.
One.
One.
One.
Only reason I ain't moving on because you stopped to give me the breeze.
Only reason I ain't moving on because you stopped to give me the breeze.
Or put on a play...
Or put on a play...
Over my dead body!
Over my dead body!
Party's over, everybody. Go on home.
Party's over, everybody. Go on home.
Please! I'm a shoe in.
Please! I'm a shoe in.
Plus, you must eat your dinner.
Plus, you must eat your dinner.
Poor little lamb.
Poor little lamb.
Poor old Mr. Wilson must be so sick.
Poor old Mr. Wilson must be so sick.
Poor thing. I wish he'd get that hernia fixed.
Poor thing. I wish he'd get that hernia fixed.
Put a cork in it. You're giving me a headache.
Put a cork in it. You're giving me a headache.
Put that away. That's not for kids!
Put that away. That's not for kids!
Quiet!
Quiet!
Quit wasting time.
Quit wasting time.
Ready or not, here I come!
Ready or not, here I come!
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Remember this?
Remember this?
Right this instant!
Right this instant!
Run, Mikey!
Run, Mikey!
Say your prayers, little rat!
Say your prayers, little rat!
She can't help the weather, any more than you or I.
She can't help the weather, any more than you or I.
She has to get it installed. Her stomach isn't just filled up with babies.
She has to get it installed. Her stomach isn't just filled up with babies.
She said to bring a helmet and wear pants.
She said to bring a helmet and wear pants.
She says you're such a stud, she gets nervous and sweats a lot.
She says you're such a stud, she gets nervous and sweats a lot.
She wants to know how?
She wants to know how?
She's a lunatic. I'll go crazy. She tortures me.
She's a lunatic. I'll go crazy. She tortures me.
She's a pretty nice lady...
She's a pretty nice lady...
She's been gone for many years, Dennis.
She's been gone for many years, Dennis.
She's in heaven.
She's in heaven.
She's mean. She's ugly. She doesn't share!
She's mean. She's ugly. She doesn't share!
She's not idiotic! She's an important training tool.
She's not idiotic! She's an important training tool.
She's up in my mom's bathroom using the armpit perfume.
She's up in my mom's bathroom using the armpit perfume.
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut your mouth!
Shut your mouth!
Six Mississippi...
Six Mississippi...
So, tough kitty paws, I'm going.
So, tough kitty paws, I'm going.
Soldiers don't have wives, stupid.
Soldiers don't have wives, stupid.
Somebody robbed your house.
Somebody robbed your house.
Something that means more to me than you ever will.
Something that means more to me than you ever will.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry. Good night.
Sorry. Good night.
Starting part time will give you a chance to ease back into it.
Starting part time will give you a chance to ease back into it.
Stop that tapping.
Stop that tapping.
Swell.
Swell.
Tastes funny.
Tastes funny.
Tastes like paint.
Tastes like paint.
Tell me, Dennis, how?
Tell me, Dennis, how?
Thank you so much, Martha. George.
Thank you so much, Martha. George.
Thank you very much. It's just this way, thank you.
Thank you very much. It's just this way, thank you.
Thank you, dear.
Thank you, dear.
Thank you, everyone. I am honored.
Thank you, everyone. I am honored.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That looks fine, Martha. Leave it alone.
That looks fine, Martha. Leave it alone.
That really stinks.
That really stinks.
That was an accident.
That was an accident.
That was out of both our hands.
That was out of both our hands.
That'll never happen.
That'll never happen.
That's a tough one.
That's a tough one.
That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying.
That's apparent to anyone with children.
That's apparent to anyone with children.
That's it!
That's it!
That's my boy!
That's my boy!
That's nice.
That's nice.
That's not how I deal with my son, Mr. Wilson.
That's not how I deal with my son, Mr. Wilson.
That's ridiculous!
That's ridiculous!
That's the only time I know for sure they'll be home.
That's the only time I know for sure they'll be home.
That's very nice, Dennis.
That's very nice, Dennis.
That's where I leave my dad's "Sorry" cards.
That's where I leave my dad's "Sorry" cards.
That's where I was, but I had to leave.
That's where I was, but I had to leave.
The baby is in her stomach!
The baby is in her stomach!
The bellybutton. It opens up.
The bellybutton. It opens up.
The best I could do finding someone to watch you is Mrs. Wade.
The best I could do finding someone to watch you is Mrs. Wade.
The boy cannot come over here unless he behaves himself.
The boy cannot come over here unless he behaves himself.
The cord.
The cord.
The flower opens and withers in a matter of moments.
The flower opens and withers in a matter of moments.
The lady who watches the kids said...
The lady who watches the kids said...
The only time he isn't happy is on Sunday morning...
The only time he isn't happy is on Sunday morning...
The party's in the back.
The party's in the back.
The photographer's here.
The photographer's here.
The rope's too big and my legs are too small to make it tight enough.
The rope's too big and my legs are too small to make it tight enough.
The safe looks like books...
The safe looks like books...
The Selection Committee has informed...
The Selection Committee has informed...
Then keep your mouth open, but don't talk!
Then keep your mouth open, but don't talk!
Then they start to make funny noises...
Then they start to make funny noises...
Then you tie them together.
Then you tie them together.
There ain't going to be no more accidents!
There ain't going to be no more accidents!
There are a lot of subjects I'd just as soon not bring up or discuss.
There are a lot of subjects I'd just as soon not bring up or discuss.
There are lots of other gardens in town just as nice as yours.
There are lots of other gardens in town just as nice as yours.
There isn't a gardener in town with a plant that requires...
There isn't a gardener in town with a plant that requires...
There we go.
There we go.
There we go. The garden of...
There we go. The garden of...
There you go. Now just pull yourself in.
There you go. Now just pull yourself in.
There's a lot of stuff I don't know.
There's a lot of stuff I don't know.
There's always a lot of traffic in toy stores.
There's always a lot of traffic in toy stores.
There's an awful lot of people in heaven.
There's an awful lot of people in heaven.
There's not a lot to do around the house when it's raining out.
There's not a lot to do around the house when it's raining out.
There's nothing to continue. I've said my piece. We'll leave it at that.
There's nothing to continue. I've said my piece. We'll leave it at that.
There's only one way to do it and I know because...
There's only one way to do it and I know because...
These woods are pretty scary at night.
These woods are pretty scary at night.
They agreed to start a daycare center so I can take Dennis with me to work.
They agreed to start a daycare center so I can take Dennis with me to work.
They do now, hot lips!
They do now, hot lips!
They have better things to do.
They have better things to do.
They like to be alone when they do that.
They like to be alone when they do that.
They want me to work on the project here.
They want me to work on the project here.
Think how disappointed he will be when he gets home.
Think how disappointed he will be when he gets home.
This is a new ball game. I've learned a few things.
This is a new ball game. I've learned a few things.
This is an important event for me.
This is an important event for me.
This is Henry Mitchell.
This is Henry Mitchell.
This is Henry Mitchell.
This is Henry Mitchell.
This is Mr. Wilson's gold.
This is Mr. Wilson's gold.
This is my buddy. This is my pal.
This is my buddy. This is my pal.
This is my crowning moment of retired life and I won't throw it away like the trash...
This is my crowning moment of retired life and I won't throw it away like the trash...
This is so stupid.
This is so stupid.
This isn't about having children or not having children.
This isn't about having children or not having children.
This thing's been here our whole life and we never knew it.
This thing's been here our whole life and we never knew it.
Those things are sharp!
Those things are sharp!
Three!
Three!
Three.
Three.
Till the weather clears, I don't know what's going to happen.
Till the weather clears, I don't know what's going to happen.
Today is an important day for me, and I'm already in a lather because of that kid.
Today is an important day for me, and I'm already in a lather because of that kid.
Tonight...
Tonight...
Too hot?
Too hot?
Try it. I'll scream so awfully, bloody, deadly horrible...
Try it. I'll scream so awfully, bloody, deadly horrible...
Turn around!
Turn around!
Turn that off!
Turn that off!
Two.
Two.
Two.
Two.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Very good.
Very good.
Vicki?
Vicki?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Want to put on your old Navy suit and play war?
Want to put on your old Navy suit and play war?
Was Dennis in our bathroom?
Was Dennis in our bathroom?
We better stop at my house first. I have to tell my mom and dad...
We better stop at my house first. I have to tell my mom and dad...
We could have carried up a lot more stuff...
We could have carried up a lot more stuff...
We could practice singing songs.
We could practice singing songs.
We did a pretty good job.
We did a pretty good job.
We did a pretty good job.
We did a pretty good job.
We'll be just fine here.
We'll be just fine here.
We'll be leaving soon and we have work to do.
We'll be leaving soon and we have work to do.
We'll fix it up.
We'll fix it up.
We'll put on a special room for the babies and a powder room for guests.
We'll put on a special room for the babies and a powder room for guests.
We'll talk to him.
We'll talk to him.
We're going to make a fort.
We're going to make a fort.
We're right next door. We can watch him.
We're right next door. We can watch him.
We've been with you.
We've been with you.
Well, Dennis...
Well, Dennis...
Well, if he shows up, please call me.
Well, if he shows up, please call me.
Well, now, don't...
Well, now, don't...
Well, of course. We'd love to.
Well, of course. We'd love to.
Weren't you a fat boy?
Weren't you a fat boy?
What about Joey? Did you think about him?
What about Joey? Did you think about him?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you eating there, sport?
What are you eating there, sport?
What are you looking for now?
What are you looking for now?
What are you up to?
What are you up to?
What do you do differently?
What do you do differently?
What do you want to go upstairs for?
What do you want to go upstairs for?
What does a hostage have to do?
What does a hostage have to do?
What does that say?
What does that say?
What if he comes over? He'll think I moved.
What if he comes over? He'll think I moved.
What slingshot?
What slingshot?
What the heck's he going to do all day?
What the heck's he going to do all day?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What's a yap?
What's a yap?
What's George going to say?
What's George going to say?
What's he got a purse for?
What's he got a purse for?
What's it to you?
What's it to you?
What's she sleeping on?
What's she sleeping on?
What's that mean?
What's that mean?
What's the combination to your lock?
What's the combination to your lock?
When I get you out, I'm going to bed. I'm beat.
When I get you out, I'm going to bed. I'm beat.
When I go to the mall with my little boy, we always visit the toy store.
When I go to the mall with my little boy, we always visit the toy store.
When I was a child, none of this would have been tolerated!
When I was a child, none of this would have been tolerated!
When my dad had something important to tell me, he told me with his belt.
When my dad had something important to tell me, he told me with his belt.
When my dad's fire gets puny, he wiggles it around and it gets bigger.
When my dad's fire gets puny, he wiggles it around and it gets bigger.
Where are the G.D. Garden lanterns?
Where are the G.D. Garden lanterns?
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Where do the soldiers' wives go to freshen up?
Where do the soldiers' wives go to freshen up?
Where do you put the cork when you put a cork in it?
Where do you put the cork when you put a cork in it?
Where have you been?
Where have you been?
Where's Dennis?
Where's Dennis?
Who else has a night blooming mock orchid flowering this year?
Who else has a night blooming mock orchid flowering this year?
Why is it, when everyone else feasts on the pleasures of life...
Why is it, when everyone else feasts on the pleasures of life...
Why not?
Why not?
Why would he do something like that?
Why would he do something like that?
Wow!
Wow!
Yeah, there's no robbers in our town.
Yeah, there's no robbers in our town.
Yeah, you. Come here.
Yeah, you. Come here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yes, there's a terrible storm.
Yes, there's a terrible storm.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
You ain't going to church.
You ain't going to church.
You and me are catching the midnight train out of here.
You and me are catching the midnight train out of here.
You better talk to him!
You better talk to him!
You call.
You call.
You can go up...
You can go up...
You can tell everybody at the big house you met our Dennis Mitchell.
You can tell everybody at the big house you met our Dennis Mitchell.
You can't get out of that at all, right?
You can't get out of that at all, right?
You can't leave unless I go with you, or I'll tell on you.
You can't leave unless I go with you, or I'll tell on you.
You can't spend the summer unsupervised. You're out of school.
You can't spend the summer unsupervised. You're out of school.
You can't waste food.
You can't waste food.
You could drown.
You could drown.
You couldn't fire the fatherly feelings in me...
You couldn't fire the fatherly feelings in me...
You didn't bother him, did you?
You didn't bother him, did you?
You don't understand. Baby Louise is a very expensive antique.
You don't understand. Baby Louise is a very expensive antique.
You forgot something.
You forgot something.
You get to stand in front of me if the cops use a gun.
You get to stand in front of me if the cops use a gun.
You go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.
You go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.
You got everything figured out, don't you?
You got everything figured out, don't you?
You guys are the boring ones. There's lots to do.
You guys are the boring ones. There's lots to do.
You have to go to two other levels to get there and...
You have to go to two other levels to get there and...
You have to play by their rules.
You have to play by their rules.
You know what, Mrs. Wilson?
You know what, Mrs. Wilson?
You know why I'm not crying?
You know why I'm not crying?
You know why men are so lousy when it comes to taking care of babies?
You know why men are so lousy when it comes to taking care of babies?
You know, I was unbeatable at hide and seek.
You know, I was unbeatable at hide and seek.
You lied to a toddler, George.
You lied to a toddler, George.
You mind whatever manners you have and don't be a pest.
You mind whatever manners you have and don't be a pest.
You miss the point.
You miss the point.
You must be pretty brave to ride on a tiger in your underpants.
You must be pretty brave to ride on a tiger in your underpants.
You must expect the unexpected.
You must expect the unexpected.
You must have swallowed it.
You must have swallowed it.
You must roll with the punches.
You must roll with the punches.
You need an aspirin.
You need an aspirin.
You shouldn't jump in a river with handcuffs on, for God's sake!
You shouldn't jump in a river with handcuffs on, for God's sake!
You shouldn't visit people so early in the morning.
You shouldn't visit people so early in the morning.
You take these and I'll take those.
You take these and I'll take those.
You tie me up like that, no matter how much I try, I can't ever get out.
You tie me up like that, no matter how much I try, I can't ever get out.
You took something from me that I can never get back.
You took something from me that I can never get back.
You understand?
You understand?
You were probably an exceptional boy.
You were probably an exceptional boy.
You won't notice a toy store on the first level...
You won't notice a toy store on the first level...
You'd better come in and have breakfast. We're due at the Garden Club at 9:00.
You'd better come in and have breakfast. We're due at the Garden Club at 9:00.
You're a pest.
You're a pest.
You're a robber?
You're a robber?
You're doing it wrong.
You're doing it wrong.
You're Mickey?
You're Mickey?
You're the last person in the world I'd tell that to.
You're the last person in the world I'd tell that to.
You're the nicest old gal on the block.
You're the nicest old gal on the block.
You've got all the love I have.
You've got all the love I have.
You've got it wrote down someplace?
You've got it wrote down someplace?
Your fire's getting puny.
Your fire's getting puny.
Your kid is driving me nuts.
Your kid is driving me nuts.
Your mother made arrangements. That's it! I don't want any arguments.
Your mother made arrangements. That's it! I don't want any arguments.
Your son just shot an aspirin down my throat with a slingshot!
Your son just shot an aspirin down my throat with a slingshot!
"We'd like to present... "George Wilson. "
"We'd like to present... "George Wilson. "
Did you call the Wades? Yes.
Did you call the Wades? Yes.
Do you have a slingshot? I'm not sure.
Do you have a slingshot? I'm not sure.
Do you have our number? Don't worry about a thing.
Do you have our number? Don't worry about a thing.
Do you think anybody lives in it? Just squirrels and birds.
Do you think anybody lives in it? Just squirrels and birds.
Do you wanna play cards? No.
Do you wanna play cards? No.
For how long? Until you're sorry.
For how long? Until you're sorry.
For what? He's being honored for his garden.
For what? He's being honored for his garden.
Give it to me! Dennis! I didn't take your doll.
Give it to me! Dennis! I didn't take your doll.
Give me my doll, you jerk! I don't have it!
Give me my doll, you jerk! I don't have it!
Guess what? What?
Guess what? What?
Have you ever had a robber here? No.
Have you ever had a robber here? No.
He's got arms. Don't start, dear.
He's got arms. Don't start, dear.
Here, let me have your glasses. No. I...
Here, let me have your glasses. No. I...
How about a little paint? Couldn't hurt.
How about a little paint? Couldn't hurt.
How come men have them? So they don't look weird in bathing suits.
How come men have them? So they don't look weird in bathing suits.
How come you got it? I stole it.
How come you got it? I stole it.
How old is this bed? It belonged to my mother.
How old is this bed? It belonged to my mother.
How? How?
How? How?
I bet I know what it is. I doubt that.
I bet I know what it is. I doubt that.
I brought you some grasshoppers. You shouldn't have.
I brought you some grasshoppers. You shouldn't have.
I can make you. How?
I can make you. How?
I'll talk to him again. Maybe it isn't talk that he needs.
I'll talk to him again. Maybe it isn't talk that he needs.
Is a thief a robber? Yes.
Is a thief a robber? Yes.
Is it about flowers and lambs? No.
Is it about flowers and lambs? No.
Is that pirates' gold? No.
Is that pirates' gold? No.
It's not a problem, per se. Oh, good.
It's not a problem, per se. Oh, good.
Maybe a bear ate it. What?
Maybe a bear ate it. What?
Mr. Wilson, he's five. When I was five, I had some respect.
Mr. Wilson, he's five. When I was five, I had some respect.
Now let me loose. Okay.
Now let me loose. Okay.
Okay. Who do we call first?
Okay. Who do we call first?
On business? No.
On business? No.
Thanks again. Thank you.
Thanks again. Thank you.
We could bury you alive. I could pound your face.
We could bury you alive. I could pound your face.
What if you forget it? I won't forget it. It's a familiar number.
What if you forget it? I won't forget it. It's a familiar number.
What's that mean? It means I know it. I remember it.
What's that mean? It means I know it. I remember it.
What's the helmet for? My girlfriend used to baby sit for Dennis.
What's the helmet for? My girlfriend used to baby sit for Dennis.
Where are you going? To make myself a cup of tea.
Where are you going? To make myself a cup of tea.
Where is it? On my bag.
Where is it? On my bag.
Who installs them? A minister and a doctor.
Who installs them? A minister and a doctor.
Wonderful dinner. Thank you, Henry.
Wonderful dinner. Thank you, Henry.
Yep. Want me to come help you out of the tub?
Yep. Want me to come help you out of the tub?
You call. No, you call.
You call. No, you call.
You can be my hostage. Cool!
You can be my hostage. Cool!
You can't hit a girl. I can too.
You can't hit a girl. I can too.
You got any? My dad does.
You got any? My dad does.
You saved our lives. Save two, lose one.
You saved our lives. Save two, lose one.
You're just as smart as him. He.
You're just as smart as him. He.
...a 40 year investment for 10 seconds of splendor.
...a 40 year investment for 10 seconds of splendor.
...and blue and spotty.
...and blue and spotty.
...and go to bed when they're supposed to.
...and go to bed when they're supposed to.
...and he uses his address for the combination so he won't forget.
...and he uses his address for the combination so he won't forget.

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