Night on Earth Edit

A beautiful girl too, his daughter.

A beautiful little sheep!

A bishop alone in Rome at 4:00 a.m.!

A bishop?!

A bishop.

A block away! He must really stink.

A bread knife.

A butcher named Guido Rusticoni.

A butcher.

A butcher's knife!

A daughter or a son.

A fat, hairy, sweaty guy. Rude, uneducated.

A horrible memory.

A mechanic?

A real one? Oh, let me see!

A sheep.

A week went by, and the baby lived.

Absolutely gorgeous.

Across town, please. To Tiburtino.

After all, I've got to drive.

After three entire weeks the child was still alive.

Ah, ah! I'll carry that with me. Thank you.

Ah, I understand. "It's cool” is good.

Ah!

Ah?

Ain't nobody on the street. Where you goin'? Where you steppin' to?

Aki is so full of shit.

Alive!

All I can say is...

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. Let's go. Let's go. Let's

All right. This is Beverly Drive coming up. Where to?

All right. You're gonna make the opposite of every direction we made to get here.

All the lights.

All unattended cars may be towed away immediately.

Although he never noticed anything.

An ass from out of this world!

And And I see you're being serious, you know.

And a lot of things you'll never do.

And after?

And even if I picked you up again in 10 years

And from this position I saw

And his severance pay after him.

And I I honestly think you have something special.

And I don't give a shit about your ambassador, okay?

And I don't need your fuckin' charity.

And I promise I won't look you in the face.

And I said it again, "It's your brother's wife! Stop!"

And I sat there, just as the dawn was about to break.

And I say, "Remember when we fucked like animals on the floor?"

And I screamed!

And I was enchanted.

And I was left alone with Monica.

And I'm also patient enough. I mean, at least I hope I am.

And I'm dangerous!

And I've been observing you.

And if I'm right I win a color TV, is that it?

And if we made a left, you're gonna make a right.

And in 15 years

And in that condition, we've got to make sure he gets home okay.

And it's a little embarrassing,

And like a lightning bolt, he ran off with his tools,

And like the saints that led, I'll move ahead.

And losing his job is just a small part of it.

And she screamed!

And such a nice little priest. So delicate!

And suddenly I was on top of her.

And the wife tells him that his daughter, 16 and unmarried,

And then about their car.

And then he said

And then he told us that a short time earlier,

And then she chases him from the house

And then?

And there was no way to... release this feeling.

And though you're still a kid,

And unloading of passengers only.

And walks back to his car.

And we cried out of happiness.

And we would... Help me find the words, Father.

And what a sweet little voice!

And what do you see at the movies?

And what's up with the fuckin' hats?

And with music, you can't see the musicians!

And you begin to feel that desire for, how can I say it...

And you can?

And you drive like a lizard, first left, then right.

And you owe me the fucking fare.

And, you know, I

Angela, fuck you too. You know what you like?

Angela, just calm down. Just calm down.

Angela! Angela!

Anything, Father!

Anyway, after a while my wife became pregnant.

Anyway, I lived in the country and there weren't many women,

Anyway, there was a...

Are you asleep?

Are you blind or what?

Are you from Benin?

Are you okay without it up there?

Are you saying that you

As a matter of fact, I'm casting a part right right now that I think you'd be perfect for.

As long as he loves me right.

As she bent over, I was sitting behind her like this,

Asshole.

Asshole. He's an asshole.

At first I didn't even notice.

At home, waiting for him, are his wife and 16 year old daughter.

At least I think he is.

At the hospital

At the moment, I doubt he feels much of anything.

At the next intersection

At their wedding I said, "Congratulations!"

Attention! Attention!

Bad luck! Touch my balls.

Be careful with that, will you? I'm a little in love with my luggage.

Be careful, you idiot! He's driving!

Beautiful city.

Beethoven, I'd like you to meet Charlie Parker.

Beethoven!

Believe me, I know the man I make love with.

Bellissima.

Bellissima.

Besides losing his job, I mean.

Beverly Hills, please.

Big brothers, my ass...

Big deal.

Big trouble.

Big trouble.

Both my brothers are mechanics.

Boy, it sure gets dark fast in the winter, doesn't it?

Boys though. Lots of boys.

Brooklyn, man. Yo! Yo, man! You suck, man!

Brooklyn.

Buffalota Street, number 40.

But a little sheep. So delicate, refined!

But don't tell. Don't tell.

But don't worry about it.

But he just keeps he keeps wanting them younger and younger.

But he lives furthest away, and he's fucked up.

But here we are alone, at night in a taxi,

But I couldn't stop!

But I couldn't!

But I don't have any money!

But I drive.

But I just want to make sure that I understand.

But I promise I won't tell anyone!

But I would like to confess.

But instead of his brand new car

But it's 4:00 in the morning.

But it's not my fault!

But listen. This car runs like shit, man.

But no. No. Uh

But people have different colors of skin!

But she looked at me strangely.

But that's not a real life for me. You know?

But the baby stayed there in the incubator.

But the doctor didn't give us much hope.

But the doctor looked worried.

But the doctor was still very negative.

But the nerves of a paratrooper.

But then, after a certain age, I quit.

But they were just so wonderful.

But this is not the appropriate place, my son.

But this is unacceptable.

But today, bad news:

But truly, Father, they are sins of love.

But you let me drive.

But you should try it, because it's absolute heaven.

But you want taxi. I am a taxi. I am here. Taxi.

But you'd never understand that.

But you'll have to do the job.

But, I mean, is that your whole goal in life?

But, you know, I mean, I appreciate it.

But, you know, like, that stuff that's all beside the point.

By the way, what was that about his severance pay?

Bye, bye.

Can I ask something?

Can I ask you something personal?

Can I ask you something?

Can you believe this guy?

Can't we have some fun?

Car 101 will take Industrial Road.

Car 285 to India Street. Thanks, 285.

Carol, I I, uh I'm going

Carol. Victoria.

Carol...

Cash, man.

Charlie Parker at the Hotel Genius...

Check it out, Helmet. This is Brooklyn.

Check it out, man. Brooklyn Bridge. Right over there.

Ciao, Gino!

Ciao.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Ciao. Ciao.

Close to what?

Come on, guys. Let's What are you doing?

Come on, man! What What

Come on, man. Somebody pick me up.

Come on, you guys. Get it together. It's this way.

Confirmed. I repeat, send a car immediately.

Correct, confirmed, but there is no number.

Could you remove your sunglasses?

Czechoslovakia.

Damn, man!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn.

Damn.

Dante Alighieri, how's it going?

Dear son, confession is an act that must remain anonymous.

Definitely. Definitely want a family.

Did Mr. Kincade call?

Did you change something?

Did you even hear him say hello?

Didn't he just tell you that he lost his job today?

Do not leave your baggage unattended.

Do they? I wouldn't know. I've never seen a blind person.

Do you have any children?

Do you know what my father did?

Does he expect us to find a taxi here?

Doesn't this sign say to follow my directions?

Don't be kickin' me. Don't be kickin'.

Don't be sayin' shit like that, Angela. It's our neighborhood.

Don't leave your glasses at home! Keep your eyes on the road.

Don't make me have to hurt you.

Don't tell me to shut up. I already told you about that shit.

Don't they teach you how to drive before unleashing you?

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. Everything will be all right.

Don't you look where you're going? We're not in Africa here!

Don't you tell him.

Driving at night doesn't seem to bother you.

Driving taxicabs?

Due to the curb security alert...

Eh, padre?

Eija was so scared that she was about to go crazy.

Eija.

Et voilà.

Even more important then, in your case.

Even now when they ask me, "Do you want some lamb?"

Even when he's on the stairs, I know it's him.

Even worse, a bishop!

Every pore of my skin. Unlike you, I'm sure.

Everyone wants to be a movie star.

Everyone's in Bergamo.

Everything okay, Father?

Everything's okay.

Excuse me, but it says NO SMOKING.

Excuse me, Father. The statue confused me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Father, don't fool around!

Father, I couldn't control myself!.

Father, I know these sins must be confessed,

Father, I know this will sound a little strange,

Father, I want to tell you that I'm deeply honored

Father, I've got so many sins to confess.

Father, that beautiful ass!

Finally the doctor came and told me

First thing you gotta do is turn that fuckin' meter on.

First thing, when I was about 12 or 13 years old,

Five minutes. Three cars.

For a year we've worked at having a baby.

For love!

For me the word color doesn't mean anything.

For sex!

For your safety and security...

Forget it. Just get out.

Forty francs.

Fresh hat. It sounds good.

From Cameroon.

From Gabon?

From the city of Dresden, which is close to Czechoslovakia. Uh

From, uh, Germany. Eastern Germany.

Fuck all y'all!

Fuck him.

Fuck yes.

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck.

Fuckin' A, man. That's fucked.

Fucking assholes! Where the fuck have you been?

Get in the car, Angela.

Get the fuck off of me, man!

Get the fuck outta here.

Gino always cheers me up.

Gino, how are you?

Girls are nice too, I think.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Say somethin'. Go ahead.

Goes good. Goes good.

Good bye to you too, Helmet head.

Good bye to you, Angela.

Good bye, Mar Good bye, Marty.

Good bye.

Good evening. I'd like a room between...

Good.

Got ya.

Gotta get a taxi, man.

Grazie, padre.

Grazie, padre. Grazie tante.

Great.

Great.

Great. Bye bye.

Guys Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

He and my sister in law. Monica.

He fuckin' whines about such trivial shit.

He lost his job today.

He must be a representative of King Beyanzed.

He parks and goes to work.

He picks up the envelope, brushes himself off

He said it was a bread knife!

He said she wouldn't live more than a week,

He sold her to a

He sold my Lola to a butcher!

He tells his wife that he's lost his job

He told me the baby was way too early.

He took us aside.

He'll push his way into one of our houses if he can't get into his own.

He's Don't be touchin' me no more.

He's a leech anyway.

He's a plumber. Repairs pipes, water.

He's all fucked up,

He's an 'Ivoirien'.

He's an "Y voit rien. "

He's been taken in.

He's charming.

He's dead!

He's dead. I've killed a priest!

He's fired.

He's late for work, but that's nothing new.

He's not human. I think he's an android.

Heaven on earth!

Hell yes! Extremely important people.

Hello?

Hello? Could we please go?

Hello? Oh, hi, Marty.

Hello. How are you?

Hello. Victoria Snelling calling for Mr. Pitt.

Helmet, look.

Helmet, man. Forget about her.

Helmet?

Helmut Grokenberger. Here. There. You can read it. That's me.

Helmut.

Helsinki.

Her movements were so refined.

Here we go. Taxi!

Here you go. Keep the change.

Here.

Here.

Here. You can read it. Helmut Grokenberger.

Here's 50.

Here's one that won't give me any shit.

Here's the question.

Hey, don't be saying nothing bad, man. I understand that shit.

Hey, don't blind people usually wear dark glasses?

Hey, man. I don't think this shit's gonna work out, man. I'm gonna get me another cab.

Hey, man. You gotta put it in drive.

Hey, Ray. Have you ever heard of a band called Utensil?

Hey, Ray. I'm not a kid, okay?

Hey, Ray. It's me, Corky. I'm phoning in.

Hey, they're all unknown. Yes.

Hey, what's What you doin', man? Hey, what Hey!

Hey, what's up?

Hey, you need a cab, lady?

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Aki.

Hey. No, no, man. It ain't automatic.

Hey. That's 30 bucks.

Hey. You should count that shit. You should always count that shit.

Hi, Mika! Okay. Bye, bye.

His face was very serious.

His life isn't so terrible after all.

His severance pay.

Hold still. I got it.

Holy shit!

Home.

Hotel Genius. What a name for a hotel!

How Oh, I just got in.

How do you know who's next to you,

How many times will we do it?

How many years do you get for a bishop? Twenty? Thirty?

How much is it?

How soon?

Huh?

Huh. What, you you escape from there?

I

I I know that.

I I like them all.

I I'm supposed to have dinner with Peter and Shera tonight.

I am Yes, I am oc occupied. Occupied. Yes. There.

I am a clown. I I need it.

I called her Lola.

I can hear it.

I can smell him from a block away.

I can't believe this shit.

I can't see a thing.

I couldn't see you. Excuse me.

I couldn't stand the pain of losing this child.

I decided that I wouldn't love this tiny little child.

I didn't mean it like that!

I didn't mean to make you mad.

I do whatever I want. I even go to the movies.

I don't always want to be a cabdriver.

I don't eat vegetables either, because of the pumpkins.

I don't give a fuck. Get me a taxi. Have my name on it too.

I don't know any blind people. I'm curious, that's all.

I don't know if my friends quit, but that's their business.

I don't know if you ever made love with your sister in law, Father,

I don't know what to do with him anymore.

I don't know, Africa.

I don't know. I've never been here before.

I don't want to press you. I really don't. Um

I feel colors.

I feel like a blind man who's miraculously recovered his sight!

I feel things I'm sure you never will.

I felt my love for that baby surge through every pore of my worthless body.

I felt so badly that I haven't eaten meat since.

I felt so happy and clear.

I found myself down a street one way."

I got cash, man!

I got your plate number! I'm gonna call the T.L.C.I

I guess he fell asleep.

I had to pull the plugs myself this afternoon.

I hate the tunnel.

I have a daughter.

I have a son.

I have an idea.

I have no family.

I haven't upset you, have I?

I just want to be sure you understand what I'm offering you.

I know what you mean.

I know what you meant, you fuckin' slimy fungus!

I know you are a taxi. But I'm gonna get me another taxi.

I know, I said it myself

I listen to music. I feel music.

I love these one way streets!

I may be having a brilliant streak right here in the taxi.

I mean, everything's going just right for me now.

I mean, I have a job. I really wouldn't want to lose this job, you know.

I mean, I'm sure there's tons of girls who wanna be in the movies and all...

I must confess. Please!

I never went back because she's my brother's wife,

I practically know all there is to know about it.

I put them on this morning and forgot I was wearing them.

I quit because I felt, Father, and I'm sure you'll agree,

I realized she was right.

I really didn't mean that the way it sounded.

I really wouldn't want to do that, you know.

I said to myself, "But this is my brother's wife!"

I sat up all night in the kitchen

I see better now. Thank you!

I sent him 10 actresses who were perf Well...

I shouldn't have told him about the sheep and Monica!

I stayed there all night.

I swear I've never picked up the same person twice.

I turned her over,

I wanna go to Brooklyn.

I was a circus clown.

I was always on top of her.

I was on fire!

I was worried, waiting and waiting for hours.

I work from 8:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m., so don't fuck with me in my own taxi.

I wouldn't recognize you, dressed as a bishop.

I'll I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I'll be in all the papers:

I'll call you the minute I know anything.

I'll go to Brooklyn, all right? We will go to Brooklyn.

I'll kick your ass.

I'll pay the fare and all that.

I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.

I'll tell you what was so terrible.

I'll tell you.

I'm I'm at the baggage claim.

I'm blind, that's all.

I'm dangerous?

I'm driving with a fuckin' idiot and some clown.

I'm even more handsome than he is.

I'm glad I can't see you, 'cause you must be an ugly bastard.

I'm glad I have a son and not a daughter.

I'm here having coffee with Shakespeare.

I'm hoping that you have some good news for me about that last actress I sent you.

I'm just like you. I drink, I eat, I taste things.

I'm married.

I'm not even in the terminal yet.

I'm not Roman, I'm Tuscan.

I'm not saying it right.

I'm sorry I sound calm. I assure you I'm hysterical.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry, Father. Now I'll really burn in hell!

I've got a taxi and they've got guns

I've had this taxi for 15 years here in Rome,

I've killed a priest.

I've killed him!

If his looks don't kill you.

If she was going to die, I would have to stay strong and distant.

If that baby was going to make it, it needed all my love.

If there's no room at the Hotel Genius

If you don't hear my confession, I'm afraid I'll burn in hell.

If you fuckin' stop talkin' to me, then you won't have to hear my fuckin' mouth.

IF YOU HAVE A PREFERRED ROUTE, INDICATE THIS TO THE DRIVER

If you only knew what's in this case.

In big fucking trouble.

In English we say, "It's good to go."

In English, that'd be like calling your kid, uh

In fact, I don't eat much at all anymore.

In fact, I got a really big tip from these, like, musician dudes.

In growing up to be a sensitive, even religious man,

In one piece.

Industrial Road 29, three customers. Third call.

Inside you feel a man's feeling,

Into a useless pile of shit.

Is he all right?

Is he all right?

Is Mr. Kincade, like, your boyfriend?

Is not important for me.

Is pregnant.

Is somebody gonna tell me what the fuck is goin' on around here?

Is that, like, something that happens when you get old?

Is there somethin' wrong with that?

Is this Quai de l’Oise?

Isaac Newton!

It It really has to be your decision.

It has nothing to do with age. I've had it all my life.

It lasted hours!

It must be 48 or 49.

It was a relief.

It was terrible.

It was truly paradise!

It was very traumatic for me.

It's "Brookland."

It's a dump.

It's a little less.

It's a lousy night.

It's a one way street!

It's a toy for ki Yo Yo.

It's good to go. It's good.

It's good to go. That's good.

It's important. It's very, very important to me.

It's just that I have everything planned out for me, you know?

It's like bumper cars.

It's me, your taxi driver!

It's my place of business, not your fucking playground!

It's near the canal.

It's New York, Helmet.

It's New York. It's cool.

It's nice.

It's not important... for me.

It's not safe to drive at night with dark glasses.

It's true!

It's up on the left. 971.

Ivory Coast.

Ja, ja, ja.

Ja.

Ja.

Ja. It's cold. It's cool.

Joking?

Just Just chill out, all right?

Just be cool, Helmet. I'll be right back.

Just beautiful.

Just before sunrise,

Just drive across town.

Just follow Canal St. Martin up to Stalingrad Place

Just get out of my taxi.

Just pull the fuck over! Yeah. Pull over right here, man.

Just turn the music off?

Just wait a minute, all right? Look at this. You didn't even turn the meter on.

Keep the change.

Kissed her all over, her neck, her perfect breasts...

Knock it off!. Or you idiots will have a long walk.

Larry. Larry, Victoria.

Late once too often.

Later for you, Helmet.

Learn some English, Helmet!

Left... or right?

Leonardo da Vinci and Einstein.

Let me get

Let me out of this car!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's not be hasty.

Like I give a shit?

Like I told you, I'm gonna be a mechanic.

Like Popeye says, "I am what I am."

Like Saint Pete, I will retreat.

Like, the one guy, you know?

Like.

Listen, asshole. I've been trapped in here longer than that,

Listen, jerk off. I can do anything you can

Listen, when I make love it's with every centimeter of my body,

Listen. Were there any messages for me?

Little brother,

Little brother, I only said...

Little brother, what's wrong with you?

Little brother, where do you come from that you're so rude?

Look where you're leaving us!

Look, I don't care if you're green or... blue like a carrot.

Look, I know my job. Don't tell me how to do my job.

Look, lady. You know, I like the movies and all.

Look, Mr. Taxi Man, don't fuck with us!

Look! The road is over there!

Look. It was Helmet's first day drivin'. He drive like shit. All right? So I took over.

Look. Just forget about the hats. All right?

Look. Yeah, it's allowed. This is New York.

Mamma mia!

Mamma mia!

Man.

Marty...

Maybe we can, sometime.

Me, lamb? No, thanks.

Merci.

Mika.

Mika. Mika.

Mine's Mine's the newest, latest. Mine's fresh.

Minneapolis, Seattle...

Money is Ja. Money...

More champagne! That's what we need.

Morning, Aki.

Morning.

Must be a real drag being blind, huh?

My brother will find out everything about me and Monica!

My dear son, I'm not a bishop.

My God, what have I done?

My gorgeous sister in law!

My house is closest, so drop me off first.

My Lola to a butcher for 80,000 lire.

My son, may I ask you a favor?

My wife and I both work hard. She has a job, and I have two jobs.

Nah, nah, nah. You know, it's hip. It's cool. It's happening.

New Okay.

New car, just paid off.

New York.

New York.

New York.

New York. New York.

Nice driving, asshole. You almost flattened me.

Nice work if you can get it.

No

No girls?

No parking.

No parking. Do not leave your car unattended.

No problem, lady.

No problem. Just pass it back up when you're done.

No, but

No, he's not all right.

No, he's not all right.

No, I can't tell you right now.

No, I mean I literally just stepped off the plane.

No, I promise I'll call him just as soon as I get my luggage.

No, I'm not a racist, but you drive like a fuckin' black!

No, it it ain't got nothing to do with that. It's my name. Yo Yo.

No, listen. I brought back seven tapes...

No, man. Everything's cool.

No, man. Everything's great.

No, man. Look, you ain't takin' me to Brooklyn. You can't even drive!

No, man. You be Mr. Lampshade.

No, no, no, man. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I Wait. I'll show you.

No, no, no. I'm sorry. I I

No, no. I was free to go.

No, not just New York. Uh, Chicago...

No, not the Vatican. And I'm not a bishop.

No, that's not all.

No, the Ivory Coast.

No, we called a garbage truck.

No, you ain't gettin' You ain't takin' my cab now. You ain't takin' my cab.

No, you don't have fun in my taxi. I work in this taxi.

No, you shut up. Don't be telling me to shut up.

No.

No.

No. No. Actually, it isn't. Uh

No. No. It's

No. That's why I don't tell you things, Marty.

No. The ear things here. The same.

Nope.

Not an ugly old sheep like the others,

Not bad!

Not feeling well?

Not like the other sheep.

Not with a vegetable, but with something

Nothin'. Damn it.

Nothing could be done. It was too late...

Nothing here either. A real slow night.

Nothing's going on, really. No customers.

Now he wants someone 18 with absolutely no experience...

Now she smiles whenever she sees me

Now, Monica is beautiful! You should see her.

Now, this is gonna sound a little crazy to you, but, uh

Of of the most sensational young actresses in the country.

Of course I know what he wants. I've heard it a hundred times.

Of relieving ourselves with...

Oh oh. Padre.

Oh, dear friends, to you I convey,

Oh, forget it. You're a pain in the ass.

Oh, he's going nuts as usual. Ricocheting off the walls.

Oh, hey, don't worry, Helmet, man. It's just a family thing.

Oh, hi.

Oh, I don't know. It's the executive terminal or something.

Oh, I left my phone book back in the suitcase with all my numbers in it.

Oh, Marty. Go ahead. Just tell me again.

Oh, no, I'm really looking forward to it.

Oh, no, no. Please. Please.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Uh

Oh, shut up.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that. Fuck it.

Oh, that's

Oh, they're wonderful. They are just so wonderful.

Oh, with me it's a big problem. I have night blindness.

Oh, yes. I am a clown.

Oh, yes. W Will you call them and explain and tell them why I can't?

Oh, your phone book. Here. Thanks a lot.

Oh!

Oh.

OK.

OK.

Okay then, if you're so smart, let me ask you a question.

Okay then. I will, um

Okay, get out.

Okay, mom.

Okay, Mr. Taxi Man.

Okay, that'll be, um, 33 bucks, please.

Okay, we'll do it in Piazza Quadrata.

Okay, we've got money.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I be Mr. Lampshade.

Okay. I, uh

Okay. Okay. I'll call him.

Okay. Uh, no. Keep the Keep the change.

Okay. Where were we?

Okay. You hear my voice, my accent.

One night he invited me to dinner,

One thousand and one.

Or else I'm gonna have to be your fucking mechanic.

Or yesterday was, anyway...

Ouais.

Our tiny daughter.

Out of my taxi!

Padre!

Padre!