The Emperor's New Groove Edit

A catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout.

A few drops in his drink, then I'll propose a toast,

A golden throated small winged warbler.

A harmless little flea,

A leaf. It might attack me.

A little bit more, please.

A perfect world begins and ends

A perfect world begins and ends with us

A perfect world will come to be

A really, really big stupid monkey named Kronk!

A rich, powerful ball of charisma.

A talking llama? Do tell.

A toast to the emperor!

Adjusting to life in the private sector.

Afternoon, Your Highness.

All right, all right, it's okay.

All right, buster, that's it!

All right, I've had enough of this.

All right, let's move ahead.

All right, now see, that's a little too far back.

All right! Are you through?

All right.

All right.

All right. A quick cup of coffee.

All righty.

All you care about is building your summer home

Almost.

Alpaca?

An enigma and a mystery

And an onion log. To split.

And asked me to, you know, take them out.

And build your summer home somewhere else.

And by the way, you're fired.

And coffee?

And demand to see him, and you know I would.

And do you want to know something else?

And don't be fooled by the folksy peasant look.

And filling it with stuff for you.

And he will be dead before dessert.

And I mean that in the best possible way.

And I really mean a long time.

And I'm one of those two, right?

And I'm thinkin' that's got to stop.

And if you would've done what I ordered you to do in the first place,

And it won't be the last.

And just as it started to go, he grabbed me before I fell.

And keep your arms and legs in at all times.

And keep your arms and legs in at all times.

And let me guess. You have a great personality.

And let's not forget Yzma's right hand man.

And not just any human being.

And once I turn back into my beautiful self,

And quite honestly...

And so, it is with great sadness

And still no sign of Kuzco.

And that's a dress.

And that's...

And the emperor had me thrown out the window.

And then all my problems would be over.

And then I'll mail that box to myself,

And then I'll put that box inside of another box,

And then I'll put that flea in a box,

And then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia.

And then see how we feel after that.

And this perfect world will spin

And took everything I had.

And was careening out of control down a raging river of death!

And we'll walk up the hill. Ready?

And when it arrives...

And why have you come here today?

And why would I do that?

And you turned me into a llama!

And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

And you're all right with that?

And your town will be destroyed

Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

Anyway, I got this summons...

Anyway, still wondering about that llama in the opening?

Are stuck on that tuneless hilltop forever, pal.

Are you aware of just how important your village is to the empire?

Are you okay? Are you all right?

Are you saying...

Are you talking to that squirrel?

Around his every little whim

At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word,

Back to work.

Back! Elbow! Shoulder!

Bad?

Basket of grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it.

Be right there! Give me a minute!

Because I thought you going into the jungle by yourself,

Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.

Because you're... You know.

Because...

Being chased by jaguars,

Besides, I couldn't just leave him out here all alone.

Better hurry. I'm expecting company.

Beware the groove.

Big, dumb, and tone deaf.

Bless you for coming out in public.

Boom, baby!

Boom, baby!

Boom, baby!

Boom, bam, baby!

Boy.

Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand carved mahogany.

Breathe!

Brilliant!

Bring it on.

Build your summerhouse somewhere else.

But as I said to you before,

But as much as he tries to deny it, I know there's some good in him.

But even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind.

But I kind of like this better.

But I... Okay.

But if you ain't got friends then nothing's worth the fuss

But now that Kuzco is dead, all is forgiven.

But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace.

But that llama you're looking at was once a human being.

But this, to me,

But wait. You can't...

But, what does that have to do with anything?

But, where will we live?

But, you proved me wrong.

But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?

But... But, Your Highness,

Butler.

By the way, thanks.

Bye bye!

Can we get back to me?

Check this out.

Check. Pickup!

Cheese me no like.

Chef.

Clumsy me.

Come here.

Come on, Kronky. Come on, Kronky. Okay.

Come on, make up your mind!

Come on, men! Nobody lives forever! Charge!

Come on, pal. You gotta help me out here.

Come on, what's the big deal? Nobody's that heartless.

Come on! Come on!

Come on. I had to say something to get you to take me back to the city.

Comin' through. Hey, you with the cart!

Could you give us a little room here?

Couldn't pull the wool over your eyes?

Crochets.

Dad, Dad, Dad! Look at how big I am!

Dad, do we have to?

Dad, look out!

Dad! I ate a bug today!

Dad's home!

Deep down, I think you'll realize

Demon llama!

Demon llama? Where?

Do this...

Do you believe that?

Do you need to hear all those words exactly?

Does he... A little to the left.

Doing my job.

Don't drink the wine.

Don't know, don't care. How's that?

Don't listen to that guy.

Don't look down! Now, stay with me. Stay with me.

Don't read too much into it. It was a one time thing.

Don't tell her I said that.

Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.

Don't throw off his groove!

Don't worry, Your Highness. I gotcha. You're safe now.

Don't worry. I'll think of it.

Don't worry. They can handle themselves.

Don't you know he's the king of the world?

Don't you mean "or"?

Don't you say a word.

Don't you see? It's perfect.

Drink the potion!

Drink. Right.

Emperor Kuzco?

Emperor Kuzco.

Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.

Every decade or so she gets a new one.

Everyone else in the kingdom gets it.

Excellent.

Excuse me, won't you?

Excuse me, Your Highness. The village leader is here to see you.

Excuse me. I'm here to see Emperor Kuzco.

Excuse me. You see that woman over there?

Faster, faster!

Feel the power.

Feels like wool.

Finally!

Fine!

Fine. Fine.

Fine. I don't need you.

Finish them off.

Fired?

First, there's Pacha.

Food.

For many, many years.

For me?

For the last time, it was not a kiss.

For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline.

Four days.

From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward.

Genius, I say!

Get away from me!

Get out of my way!

Get them!

Get them!

Give me that one!

Give me that vial!

Go ahead!

Go on! Get outta here!

Go.

Go. I'll stall them long enough for you two to get a head start.

Good night, you two.

Good night.

Good thinkin', Yzma. What do you say, Kuzco?

Good work, Kronk.

Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath.

Good, good. That's just what I wanted to hear.

Good!

Got it!

Got it!

Got it!

Got you covered.

Great great great...

Great. Send him in.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Guess where I am right now.

Hang on. I'll go ask the chef.

Happy, happy birthday From all of us to you

Happy, happy birthday May all your dreams come true

Hate your hair. Not likely.

Have any idea of who he's dealing with?

He can't come back!

He can't get rid of me that easily.

He didn't pay his check.

He doesn't really want to talk to you.

He is nothing compared to what's coming up next.

He is.

He must have taken him back to his village,

He never had a chance.

He was born and raised to rule

He's a lousy llama.

He's a sweet guy.

He's dead, all right.

He's doing his own theme music?

He's got that sissy stringy music thing.

He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up.

He's never going to change his mind.

He's still alive?

He's supposed to be dead!

He's the alpha, the omega, A to Z

He's the hippest cat in creation

He's the king of the world

He's the peasant who I saw leaving the city

He's the sovereign lord of the nation

He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness.

He's what, in his late 20s?

Healthy rule.

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Here you go.

Here, let me get this for you.

Hey there, Pacha. You just missed your relatives.

Hey, are you gonna be all right?

Hey, did you see that sky today? Talk about blue.

Hey, don't I know you?

Hey, get her off!

Hey, give it a rest up there, will you?

Hey, hey, everybody hits their stride.

Hey, how about a side of potatoes, my buddy?

Hey, I didn't ask him about dessert yet!

Hey, I got to use that arm later.

Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?

Hey, it doesn't always have to be about you.

Hey, Kronk, can you top me off, pal? Be a friend?

Hey, Kronky, everything okay back there?

Hey, listen, Pacha, you know,

Hey, pal, what's your policy on making special orders?

Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.

Hey, there he is! My main village man.

Hey, tiny, I want to get out of this body. Wouldn't you? Now let's go.

Hey, you could've let me fall.

Hey, you. No time to waste. Let's go.

Hey, you're not backing down now, are you, big guy?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey.

Hey. Are you all right? Here. Let me...

Hi there!

Hi there.

Hi. Excuse me.

His legacy will live on in our hearts...

Hit the road, Bucky.

Honey...

Hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.

Hot and crispy pill bug for the happy couple.

How about dessert?

How am I ever going to get out of here?

How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him.

How did we, Kronk?

How did you get back here before us?

How did...

How do I know you won't let me fall after you grab the rope?

How else can I say it?

How is this?

How much we love each other.

How shall I do it?

How would you describe her?

I am loving this.

I am one hungry king of the world.

I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.

I am?

I believe it.

I can feel it.

I can find my own way back.

I can take it from here.

I can't believe this is happening!

I can't let you go back unless you change your mind

I can't remember. I can't remember anything.

I could've let you die out there in that jungle,

I didn't do anything, and they ruined my life

I don't believe you're really my great aunt.

I don't care, you fool. Get out of my way.

I don't care. Mine.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out.

I don't make deals with peasants!

I don't think so.

I don't think we've ever met, but I gotta go.

I don't understand how this could happen.

I get it!

I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer.

I got three good reasons why you should just walk away.

I gotta go wash something.

I gotta run.

I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log

I had to be versed in all the woodland creatures.

I hate being in the middle.

I hate this jungle.

I hate you.

I have an idea. Give me your arm.

I have been nothing if not loyal to the empire

I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me.

I heard that.

I just needed an insider's opinion before I okay'd this spot for my pool.

I just thought I'd give you the heads up in case Kuzco ever came back.

I know! Yzma.

I know.

I know. It's called a cruel irony like my dependence on you.

I mean you no harm.

I mean, a really lousy llama.

I mean, there's lots of hilltops, and maybe I might, you know...

I mean, you can't get much deader than he is right now.

I mean, you've been around here a long time,

I might...

I must admit you had me worried when you mixed up those poisons,

I need to hear these words.

I remember telling you that I was building my pool

I remember you.

I shook on it, didn't I?

I should have done away with Kuzco myself when I had the chance.

I should tell you right now I'm kind of hard to fit.

I show you the house. Of course.

I snatched you right out of the air.

I suppose.

I think I left something in the oven.

I think there is.

I thought you were a changed man.

I threw it off,

I was a Junior Chipmunk.

I was always taught that there was some good in everyone,

I was only dealing with meaningless peasant matters.

I was the world's nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason.

I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles.

I wear a 66 long and a 31 waist.

I win.

I wouldn't recommend it.

I'd say just on the other side of those trees.

I'll be sure and tell him you came by.

I'll break it down myself.

I'll get rid of Kuzco.

I'll have a spinach omelet with wheat toast.

I'll have to charge you full price.

I'll have Yzma change me back,

I'll just poison him with this.

I'll just snap my fingers and order her to change me back.

I'll smash it with a hammer!

I'll take that.

I'll turn him into a flea,

I'm a llama again!

I'm as big as you were when you were me.

I'm born with an innate sense of direction.

I'm getting tired. Pull over.

I'm going through a growth spurt.

I'm going to drink it!

I'm going to kill you!

I'm gonna go put Misty away.

I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

I'm here because I received a summons...

I'm just going to slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef.

I'm not going to drop it, you fool!

I'm not kidding. Listen, you cannot go in there.

I'm not sure.

I'm not the only one that thinks that, I'm sure.

I'm okay. I'm fine.

I'm so happy.

I'm so proud of you guys.

I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove.

I'm still building Kuzcotopia when I get back.

I'm sure he'd love to show you the...

I'm the emperor, and you're the emperor's advisor.

I'm the one in the cart. Remember?

I'm tryin' to figure that out, okay?

I've never liked your spinach puffs.

If that were me, I'd march right back there

If there's no Kuzco, there's no Kuzcotopia.

If you hadn't mixed up those poisons, Kuzco would be dead now!

In a thousand years of aristocracy

In case you're interested.

In Mesoamerican history

In the bag.

Inside, up the stairs, and to the left. Just follow the signs.

Is he hip or what?

Is he hip or what?

Is something burning?

Is that hard to believe?

Is there anything on this menu that is not swimming in gravy?

Is there or is there not anything edible on this menu?

Is this really the best you could do?

Isn't it?

Isn't that right, Kronk?

It can't be!

It could.

It has to be one of these. Lions, tigers, bears...

It is no concern of mine whether your family has...

It might be difficult for someone of your age

It was disgusting.

It was just a dream.

It's a little dangerous if you don't know the way.

It's a scary tree. I'm afraid.

It's a simple question.

It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you!

It's dinner time.

It's like I'm talking to a monkey.

It's my birthday gift to me.

It's nice.

It's not the first time I was tossed out a window,

It's stuck.

It's your birthday?

Jaguars? No kidding? Brutal.

Just leave me alone.

Just one more for exotic bird bingo.

Just take 'em all!

Just think of it as you're being let go,

Kill me? Their whole world revolves around me.

Kill them! They murdered the emperor!

Kronk here.

Kronk, darlin',

Kronk, get the emperor a drink.

Kronk, this is kind of important.

Kronk!

Kronk!

Kronk!

Kronk! Why did I think you could do this?

Kronk. The emperor needs his drink.

Kronk...

Kronk...

Kronk...

Kuzco

Kuzco

Kuzco

Kuzco

Kuzco

Kuzco is dead, right?

Kuzco must be eliminated.

Kuzco!

Kuzco!

Kuzco!

Kuzco!

Kuzco!

Kuzco's poison.

Lady with a baby comin' through.

Left. Right.

Let me see that vial.

Let's end this.

Let's face it. You're no spring chicken,

Let's get to the grub.

Let's get you back to the palace.

Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together.

Let's take a look see.

Like you told him to, 'cause you're always right.

Listen up, big guy.

Listen, you guys.

Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.

Llama face!

Long live Kuzco!

Look at me!

Look at these wrinkles.

Look how much you've grown!

Look like the emperor.

Look out!

Look what I can do.

Look, all I know is the food looked iffy.

Look, I tell you what. You go back aways...

Look, there's two people in there looking for you.

Look, we're moving!

Look.

Looking for this?

Looking for this?

Looks like you and your family

Looks to me like you're stuck out here,

Low blood sugar, huh?

Lying to me to take you back to the palace

Make me the special. And hold the gravy!

Make my potatoes a salad.

Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been,

Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing,

Me, me, me.

Me.

Measure me again!

Meat pie. Check.

Metal shop? I got it!

Might be considered kind of a step backwards,

Miss Narca's interpretive dance, two semesters.

Mission accomplished.

Mom, Mom! I think I'm still growing!

Mom, you and I both know that it's impossible for him

More broccoli?

Most likely.

My face! My beautiful, beautiful face!

My head.

My relatives?

My shoulder angel.

My spinach puffs!

My village?

My wife made it.

Never!

Nice try, pal.

Ninety nine monkeys jumpin' on the bed

No one has ever been as cool

No problem, hon. We do that all the time.

No problem.

No time to explain. We gotta get out of here.

No touchy!

No touchy.

No touchy. No touch.

No, I didn't!

No, I know that. I know.

No, Kuzco!

No, no, I'm sharp, I'm on it.

No, no, it's not you.

No, no, no, no. No.

No, no, no!

No, no, you listen to me. All you care about is your stupid hilltop!

No, no. Allow me.

No, no. He's got a point.

No, no. No, don't.

No, no. No, no, no, no.

No, really. I'm telling you, there are jaguars and snakes

No, wait! I'm the emperor! It's me... Kuzco!

No, we're good.

No, we're not. Calm down.

No, you two can stay up.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! It can't be!

No. I don't think I will.

No...

Nobody really seems to care that he's gone, do they?

Nobody's that heartless.

None whatsoever.

Not even on your birthday.

Not good.

Not the dinner...

Now ask him which way the talking llama went!

Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.

Now lately, Yzma's gotten into this bad habit

Now let's move!

Now say good night.

Now take me back.

Now to get rid of the body.

Now what, genius?

Now, about you finding new work...

Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.

Now, now, remember, guys.

Now, we're gonna have to work together to get out of this, so follow my lead.

Now, you stop being so hard on yourself. All is forgiven.

Now.

Number one... Look at that guy!

Of course the real Kuzco.

Of meat. What'll it be?

Of trying to run the country behind my back,

Oh, boy. Think, think, think.

Oh, my.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Okay, buddy, take care.

Okay, but I still have 94 monkeys to go.

Okay, children, on your mark, get set, go!

Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy.

Okay, everybody, move aside.

Okay, gang. Check out this piece of work.

Okay, here's the deal.

Okay, I admit it.

Okay, I'll make it simple for you.

Okay, now the other one.

Okay, now, look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.

Okay, okay, on second thought...

Okay, okay, you two.

Okay, okay.

Okay, only two left. It's gotta be one of these.

Okay, see this palace? Everyone in it is at my command.

Okay, so I'll admit this was a good idea.

Okay, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen.

Okay, this is the real me. Not this.

Okay, we're just gonna stop at the house and get some supplies.

Okay, where am I?

Okay, why does she even have that lever?

Okay, you heard the man. Up, up, up.

Okay, your right! Ready?

Okay! What were we saying?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Buh bye.

Okay. I have to get back to the palace.

Okay. Once we cross this bridge, it's only an hour to the palace.

Okay. Show him in.

Okay. You got it? All right.

On the very eve of his 18th birthday.

On the way home.

On these things instead of the real Kuzco?

One fell off and bumped his head

One, two, three, four...

Open up!

Or so I thought.

Or the hippest cat in creation

Or this would be really difficult.

Or, to save on postage,

Ordering! I need two heartburns and a deep fried doorstop on table 12!

Our deal was that you could stay awake until Daddy came home.

Our moment of triumph approaches.

Over here!

Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming for a while,

Pacha!

Pacha?

Pacha?

Pacha? A little help!

Pacha? You okay?

Pacha.

Pacha.

Pardon me. That's mine.

Perfect.

Perhaps we can have a tour of your lovely home.

Please be something with wings.

Please continue.

Please don't go.

Please remain seated

Please remain seated

Please. Never find my way? I'm the emperor, and as such,

Please. With this disguise, I'm invisible.

Poison.

Political manipulators

Poor little guy.

Pretty pathetic, huh?

Pull the lever, Kronk.

Quick! Drain the canals!

Ready?

Really? I'm supposed to see him today.

Reason number 2.

Right, honey?

Right!

Right. Left.

Right. Left.

Right. Left.

Right. Right.

Right. So what are you gonna do?

Right. Sure.

Right. The poison...

Riveting.

Robe!

Said I was sorry. Can't just let it go.

Saved 'em!

Scary beyond all reason.

Scary jungle. Right.

Scorpions!

See, just like I said, I'm the victim here.

See, there was this big guy and this older woman who was...

Seems a talking llama gave him a hard time the other day.

She knits?

She's hiding something.

She's not the easiest person to get close to.

Should have seen that coming.

Silly me.

So all of it was a lie?

So how does that work with you bein' fired and all?

So I'm just checking to make sure

So if we find the village, we find him, and if we find him, we find Kuzco.

So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?

So that's two specials.

So this is where you came in.

So what did the emperor want?

So, he seems nice.

So, I was thinking that when I got back to the city,

So, if I were you, I'd pick up some change of address forms

So, is everything ready for tonight?

So, no hard feelings about being let go?

So, remind me again how you're related to Pacha?

So, there we were standing on the cliff, and the ground started to rumble.

So, we have to get back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.

So, while we're waiting for Paca...

So, who's in my chair?

So, you lied to me.

So, you tired of being a llama?

So?

So...

So...

Somebody's throwing stuff.

Soon to be the two of us.

Sorry I'm late. So, what'd I miss?

Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeaker...

Squeak squeakin' squeak squeakity.

Squeak, squeaker, squeakin'.

Squeaker squeak squeak squeakin'?

Squeakin'.

Squeakity squeak, squeakin'.

Squeaky,

Still not listening.

Still think I'm not the victim here? Watch. It gets better.

Stop it, you little brats!

Stop! Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry about that.

Strange. That usually works.

Stretch out your neck, and I'll grab the rope.

Sure are.

Sure thing. Kronk out.

Sure. I'll do what I can.

Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby.

Take him out of town and finish the job now!

Take it, Kronk.

Take your time. No hurry here.

Taken from us so tragically

Takes care of my problem.

Tasty.

Tell me about it.

Tell me Kuzco's dead.