Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019) Edit

A and who's that?

A big, droopy, Zapata like mustache.

A blender of frozen margaritas.

A cigarette dipped in acid.

A completely drunk Rick Dalton started making

A fat $5 gold piece,

A good old fashioned drunk.

A hotshot pilot.

A kinescope of a little treat featuring you.

A lot of killing. Lot of killing, yeah.

A lot of land, a lot of cows,

A lot of money, no law to speak of,

A Rick Dalton fucking film festival,

A tiny bit better when I don't break character.

A toast.

A touch of pregnancy induced melancholy.

A whole lot of chicken mole in Mexico.

ABC.

About 15 years, you'll be living it.

About to get his jaw busted.

Action.

Actors are required to do a lot of dangerous stuff.

Actually, it might be true.

After nine years together,

After that Musso & Frank's lunch meeting,

After you, DeCoteau.

Ah, horseshit.

Ah, son of a...

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Ever been to Houston?

Ah. G goddamn it to hell. I'm I'm sorry about that.

Ah. Heh, heh.

Ahem. I think the wind blew down my TV antenna last night,

Ain't she just darling?

Ain't stopping me.

Ain't you, shorty?

All live at Spahn Movie Ranch?

All right there, paparazzos. All right. Take it easy.

All right, all right, Audie Murphy, relax.

All right, dig it.

All right, get ready for my big F.B.I. moment.

All right, messenger boy.

All right, see you then.

All right, that's too hot.

All right, what's the matter, partner?

All right? Go.

All right? Your brains are gonna

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Grazie, amigo.

All right. Just give me a moment to turn it around.

All the cattle you've appropriated.

All the shooting.

All went to the West Hollywood

Allow me to introduce the two of you.

Also starring Joseph Cotten

Although his swank Roman apartment

Amateurs try and take men in alive.

And afterwards, you know,

And and and young and good looking, he could...

And away we go.

And away we go.

And back at El Toro before my kids go to bed.

And based on the Floyd Raye Wilson novel,

And bases with rockets and mortar fire.

And because of me, he's considering you.

And Bonanza for the last decade.

And broke off her engagement with him and married him.

And buy buy a condo in in in Toluca Lake, bank the money.

And cut!

And cut.

And don't you mo...

And during that brief moment,

And from where I'm standing,

And get it off my fucking street!

And get off the lot.

And he had to roll his own.

And he takes a bad fall, and it messes up his hip.

And his brand spanking new Italian wife,

And his fourth, a Spaghetti secret agent,

And his girlfriend, social worker Abigail Folger,

And his Nebraska Jim costar Daphna Ben Cobo.

And house sitting in the Hollywood Hills

And I couldn't be more delighted you're doing this.

And I didn't believe them.

And I don't dig the vibe he brings on a set.

And I got a F.B.I. that that airs this Sunday.

And I gotta tell you, I came damn close

And I just want to make sure you're okay.

And I plan on doing both before the war's over.

And I say "actor," not "actress,"

And I think all that "lethal weapon" horseshit

And I think you should be embarrassed

And I throw myself on the floor

And I watched two episodes of Bounty Law on 16 mm.

And I work with my wife, and she believes it.

And I would really enjoy closing it,

And I'm here to do the devil's business.

And if I can be a tiny bit better, I want to be.

And if something were to happen to my boss's car,

And if you grew up watching TV,

And it made her feel especially pregnant

And Jake Cahill himself, Rick Dalton.

And look like the hippest guy in the room.

And next week, it's Bob Conrad,

And nothing but an old man

And now a race to the bottom. Heh.

And now you're not gonna talk to me?

And now you're pretending that I didn't tell you

And Pepe comes over.

And pretend to murder people on their stupid TV shows.

And push back.

And Rick made a rather compelling Nebraska Jim,

And Screen Gems television series Bounty Law.

And sit around talking to each other all day

And some Mexican ranch hands to shoo you off.

And thank you for taking an interest.

And that all these hippies aren't taking advantage of you.

And that boy you killed...

And The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey.

And the fuss they made over him

And the guy hippie said he was the devil.

And the three of them

And then, at the club, Gabe was doing great.

And there's the small one.

And they live in pig shit fucking luxury.

And this is Rebekka, who does costumes.

And this man's going to collect.

And this...

And thought about how much better it was

And to my left is Rick's stunt double, Cliff Booth.

And took a cab home.

And waiting for Cliff and Rick to come home...

And we drive them here to the ocean.

And we thoroughly enjoyed Tanner.

And what have you heard about me?

And when he does, Jay's gonna be there.

And when we're done, we split up and hitch home.

And when you come to the end of the line with a buddy

And who are you?

And who I got living next door to me?

And who's paying around here?

And win fucking fights?

And y'all take care of him?

And you brought him here to collect.

And you just wanna let him have it. Ha!

And you were on a horsie.

And you, I remember your white little face.

And, by the way, who chose this photo?

And, frankly, I never had a chance.

And, naturally, Jay...

And, you know, I gotta look after my dudes.

And...

Any kind of luck, we'll be unloaded

Any more questions?

Anybody accidentally kills anybody

Anybody order fried sauerkraut?

Anything we can do about that heat?

Appreciate the opportunity, Randy. I won't let you down.

Are they not cool enough for you?

Are we kidnapping him?

Are you afraid I'll tell Jim Morrison you were dancing

Are you an actor?

Are you calling me a liar?

Are you okay?

Are you some old cowboy guy that used to make movies there?

Argh. Fuck you, Dr. Sapirstein.

Around 10, Sharon and her friends

Around midnight,

Around what time was it when you confronted the intruder?

As all the rest of the goddamn directors.

As early as next Wednesday.

As sure as God made little green apples...

As they have to to defeat the other guy.

At Casa Vega, Rick and Cliff drank so much that,

At more or less the same time,

At some point,

At some point, he's gonna hire some guns and push back.

At the Hall of Justice here.

Ate up a big chunk of his earnings.

Aw, yeah, yeah. Sorry about all that.

Aw. What's the matter?

Back in the old timey days?

Back then, he just had a way.

Bad idea.

Be referred to by my character's name.

Be splattered all over your goddamn pool.

Because he got it done.

Because he's napping.

Because I wanted some fucking rinky dink movie career.

Because I've been up here by myself

Because now maybe I can't work for a week.

Because the word "actress" is nonsensical.

Because, well, in a way, you are.

Been around since 1862,

Bengal Lancers.

Better drag, more flavor,

Better known as bounty hunter Jake Cahill,

Bingo Martin with that kid Scott Brown. Yeah.

Boom! Ha, ha!

Both men know, once the plane touches down in El Segundo,

Bounty Law.

Bounty Law.

Boy, oh, boy.

Brandy stayed behind at Rick's house,

Brandy was glad to see them return.

Brandy, couch.

Bring bagels.

Bringing that noisy hunk of shit around here at midnight?

Brother, you're the one with the big mouth.

Bunch of goddamn fucking hippies.

Buongiorno, Sergio.

Burn, you Nazi bastards! Ha ha ha!

Business Bob Gilbert. And who might he be, Caleb?

Businessman.

But but that's not the case, and you know it.

But everyone always calls him Easy Breezy.

But fucking drive it, and drive it now!

But he didn't love the Italians' way of making movies.

But he never came back.

But he's got spine problems

But he's seen us. He's awake. He's alert.

But I did not know it was her car.

But I haven't been a full time stuntman

But I'm not saying anything funny.

But if you did, what do you think would happen?

But in martial arts tournaments,

But Lancer has money.

But Lancer's got money.

But Lancer's got money.

But my hands are registered as lethal weapons.

But obviously, you are too old to fuck me.

But say I fall off wrong and I sprain my wrist

But since the Red Apple tobacco company's

But since you're upset,

But some hippies broke into the house next door.

But that can all change...

But that's the girl from Valley of the Dolls.

But the son is.

But the story goes, for a brief moment,

But then I gotta have a conversation

But they can only hang me once, right?

But today, Red Apple comes factory rolled.

But we had a good time.

But what the audience sees

But where does 1869 and 1969 meet?

But you can't.

But you don't stunt, I don't pay you.

But you just get paid for the day

But you need to wait at least an hour before you can eat.

But you picked the wrong time.

But you touched me today.

But you're laughing at what I'm saying.

But, Mr. Gilbert, if I was you,

But, please, don't hurt her this time.

Buy you a drink, Caleb?

By all means.

By the Daughters of the American Revolution.

By then, I'll know if I have a career or not,

Came a long ways.

Camera's ready, Mr. Dalton.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Can I at least get a rag to wipe my face first?

Can I get a bounce there?

Can I go...? Can I go back and get it?

Can I see your tickets?

Can we just go back? Please, can we just cut?

Can we move to number two?

Can't see shit.

Captain Hilts.

Casa Vega on Ventura.

Cassius Clay. Sonny Liston. Joe Louis.

Caught up with him about five miles outside of town.

Charlie's gone? Everybody left?

Charlie's gonna dig you.

Chatsworth?

Choom. Zoom.

Clem, you all right?

Cliff Booth returned to Los Angeles as well.

Cliff doesn't have a clue what he's gonna do.

Cliff drives him everywhere now.

Cliff was attaching a leash

Cliff.

Cliff...

Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come on in, Boston.

Come on, man. You don't believe that old shit, do you?

Come on, now. Shit.

Come on, now. You ever seen an an Italian Western, huh?

Come on, take me home.

Come on.

Come one step closer and I will knock his teeth out.

Come visit me tomorrow.

Cooler.

Copeville.

Could I?

Course he did.

Course I have.

Cute, short, talented guys

Damn it!

Damn property taxes up the butt.

Dang.

Daughter of yours with the fiddle?

Dead number two.

DeCoteau. DeCoteau.

Deliver my message.

Dennis Hopper! Move this fucking piece of shit!

Despite the fact that he said it,

Did a, ahem, Ron Ely Tarzan.

Didn't we?

Dig this!

Directed by Antonio Margheriti.

Directed by Joaquín Romero Marchent

Dirty fucking hippies.

Do some devil shit."

Does he still live right there?

Don't adjust your television sets

Don't cry in front of the Mexicans.

Don't fucking "Janet" me, you prick.

Don't know when I'll get back this way again.

Don't let me stop you from earning your money.

Don't take no for an answer.

Don't you get it?

Door at the end of the hallway.

Down goes you.

Down goes your career as a leading man.

Down the ranch to meet everybody.

Drag.

Drive it backwards, numbnuts,

During his entire six month stay in Italy.

Eating lunch before I do a scene makes me sluggish.

Eight goddamn fucking whiskey sours.

Eight years ago.

Eighteen miles to Pendleton, Willard.

Eighteen. Feel better?

Especially in front of all my friends.

Especially when it comes to you, Caleb.

Every fucking night. Every fucking night.

Every show on TV

Everybody left for Santa Barbara.

Everybody's fucking awake!

Everybody's talking all friendly.

Everyone don't need a stuntman.

Everything's okay now, honey.

Everything's okay now, honey.

Exactly what it is a stunt double does.

Except when Rick Dalton's got a fucking shotgun,

Existing quite nicely within Sergio Corbucci's

F from starring in a new Polanski movie.

F.B.I.

F.B.I. and Bonanza. but George finds it hard

Fabian was in the part.

Fair enough.

Far out. We got a Custer jacket.

Feel better?

Fetch her and tell her I'll give her

Fifty cents.

Fine.

First off, I want to give him a mustache.

First time I seen him. Ha ha ha.

First you wake me up,

Five years of ascent. Pfft.

Fix it.

Fix it.

For a Boston social?

For a drink and meet my other friends?

For a while now,

For four hours on this fucking shithole of a boat.

For the best drag with the best tobacco flavor,

For the rest of their lives.

For too many drunk driving tickets.

For what?

Forgot your fucking lines, embarrassed yourself

Francesca! Francesca, honey!

Francesca.

Fringes all down the arm.

Fuck you, Katie.

Fuck you.

Fuck!

Fuck! Eight fucking whiskey sours.

Fucking bullshit! It doesn't matter whether I cry in public.

Fucking bullshit.

Fucking damn it, Rick, I swear to God.

Fucking hippie motherfuckers.

Fucking private road.

Genius.

George is blind,

George is taking a nap right now.

George isn't blind!

George, you awake?

George?

George?

George?

Get creative. Do whatever you want.

Get on a horse, go get Tex and get his ass down here.

Get the wardrobe off, get your shit,

Get the wardrobe off, get your shit, and get fucked!

Get your shit together.

Getting blind drunk together

Gina, Gina, Gina.

Give it what fer next pilot season.

Give me a lift?

Give me evil, sexy Hamlet.

Give me my glasses back.

Go ahead.

Go back a bit, would you?

Go down here and get on the Hollywood Freeway.

Go get him and bring him into the living room.

Go home, fix my antenna, do whatever. See you at wrap.

Go on.

Go to the living room.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn.

Goddamn.

Going to Rome to star in movies does not sound

Gonna blow your mind, man.

Gonna fuck things up,

Good.

Great!

Guarding the beautiful Italian woman asleep in her bed

Guy's name is Tom Breezy,

Gypsy wants you to go give him a look see.

Gypsy! I want you to come meet my new friend.

Half a bottle is better than none.

Handing me that $50,000.

Have been inseparable.

He ain't from round here.

He and Tobey played.

He back there?

He could break any horse that you could throw at him.

He could hit the Strip in it tonight.

He had just as much time

He has four new movies under his belt,

He in there?

He just gave her a lift?

He kept Rick company

He kills you.

He loved the food so much that during his stay,

He may be tired.

He might have just woke up.

He never had before, and he spends, uh...

He received details of that fighting by radio.

He told me the goddamn truth, is what he told me.

He uses those boots to step on people.

He was older, but, yeah, I think so.

He was the baby boy of Major Nathin Maxwell Janice.

He was the star of Bounty Law.

He's a flower, man.

He's best friends with Randy,

He's coming to terms with what it's like to be slightly more...

He's doing a new Western. It's called Nebraska Jim.

He's gonna hire some guns

He's gonna hire some guns and push back.

He's Jake Cahill,

He's just a flower. He doesn't know better.

He's just happy for the opportunity.

He's lived there for a month now.

He's my next door neighbor.

He's not the best anymore.

He's not... He's not... He's not crippled

He's waiting for you in the bar.

Heh.

Heiress to the vast Folger coffee empire.

Hell, in that case...

Hello, coming in. Hello.

Hello, darling. Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Hello, hot stuff.

Hello, sweetheart.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Can I help you?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Welcome.

Hennessy X.O on the rocks.

Here I am flat on my ass,

Here I come. Here I come.

Here it is, honey.

Hermann!

Hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Hey, bought me an acid dipped cigarette today.

Hey, buddy, I'm Rick Dalton.

Hey, can I get a picture?

Hey, does George Spahn still own this ranch?

Hey, hey.

Hey, how are you doing, baby?

Hey, it's Joanna and the baby.

Hey, jackass, this is our series lead.

Hey, man.

Hey, Randy.

Hey, Rick, I gotta ask you something I heard about.

Hey, Rubin! Come out here.

Hey, Sam.

Hey, she just took five fucking sleeping pills.

Hey, where is everybody? Where's the children?

Hey, where's Gypsy?

Hey, where's that chili pepper daughter of yours

Hey, you come around here again, I'm gonna call the fucking cops!

Hey, you could do anything you want to him.

Hey, you!

Hey, you.

Hey, you. What's your name?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Heh. How are you?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Hey. What's up, babe?

Hi!

Hi! Come on up.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I missed you.

Hi. This is Rick Dalton,

His second Western was

His third was an Italian/Spanish coproduction

Hit him with a fucking Lincoln, right?

Hm?

Hm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold it.

Hold your horses. We're leaving.

Hollywood real estate means you live here.

Holy shit.

Holy shit. Goddamn it.

Holy shit. Heh.

Hopefully, I score come next pilot season.

Hot dog buns!

How about a friendly contest?

How about Batman and Robin?

How about some mezcal?

How about you?

How am I gonna know what the hell color the head

How can I help you, young lady?

How dare you come into my house, motherfucker!

How do you know it was midnight?

How do?

How is his bounce?

How long has it been?

How many other people are here?

How old are you?

How old are you?

How'd your little talk with George go?

How's the audience gonna know it's me?

How's the beans?

How's the beans?

However, as the two men return home,

Huh?

Huh.

Huh.

Huh. What?

Hurtling through the air

Hyah! Hyah!

I accidentally kill you, I go to jail.

I agree.

I ain't for sure yet.

I ain't gonna hurt her.

I ain't gonna hurt her.

I ain't gonna hurt her.

I almost got the part, but...

I am doing the best I can under the circumstances.

I can. You talk to the stunt gaffer about me today?

I can't afford to hire a bunch of guys to smoke cigarettes

I can't believe that asshole in the robe was Jake Cahill.

I could... I could be one pool party away

I did a Land of the Giants. Green Hornet.

I did that show, uh...

I didn't ask for the whole story.

I didn't hurt you there, Marabella,

I didn't realize the two of you were so close.

I do to win what they do to win.

I don't dig him.

I don't even know where here is.

I don't know your name, but I remember that hair.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Everything was fine.

I don't like names like "pumpkin puss,"

I don't need you. Not today.

I don't wanna, but I will.

I don't want no beaner bronco buster

I don't want them to see Jake Cahill.

I don't want this Western costumed

I don't want to party anymore. I am tired.

I figured you said Shakespeare, so... Yeah.

I fucked his brains out this morning.

I fucked this whole thing up, Sam.

I get it now.

I get paid $1000 a day.

I get paid $1000 the day I arrive.

I got a flamethrower in my toolshed.

I got a four man team here, Rick.

I got it. I got it.

I got my book. Say, say, where's the bad guy saloon?

I got pads on.

I got to watch F.B.I. tonight.

I gotta do Italian goddamn movies!

I guess so.

I guess we'll just make this ride about having fun.

I have a double chin. All right?

I have a guest.

I haven't finished it yet.

I haven't seen Berlin yet

I heard about the Lancer Ranch.

I heard the sound of a noisy muffler.

I heard you're pushing Lancer pretty hard,

I heard you're pushing Lancer pretty hard,

I heard you're pushing Lancer pretty hard,

I hired you to be an actor, Rick.

I hope the, uh, Rick Dalton double feature

I hope they don't.

I hope you.

I it's okay, Caleb.

I just don't like to disappoint her.

I just got my part part by sheer luck.

I just I can't afford you anymore, Cliff.

I just want her to play the fiddle.

I kill people.

I know all three of you.

I know how bored and restless you get

I know they just broke for lunch,

I know where it is.

I know.

I know. I'm sorry about that. I was told.

I light up, I pour myself a cognac and I watch...

I like doing shit around the house

I like that shot.

I live there.

I locked the car. You'll need keys to get in.

I looked up at the clock.

I love that stuff. You know, the killing.

I love you.

I may get a limp, but I ain't gonna die.

I mean it, motherfucker.

I mean, a once in every 50 or 100 years kind of genius.

I mean, I'm in the movie.

I mean, it could have been 12:05.

I mean, nothing anachronistic,

I mean, shit. I mean, who knows what could happen?

I mean, where the fuck are we, man?

I need to see something official that verifies that you're 18,

I open up a box of Havanas.

I play Miss Carlson, the klutz.

I practiced them, and now I don't look

I remember you.

I rode with the British cavalry in Indi...

I rode with the British cavalry in India.

I say fuck them.

I say we cut their cocks off and make them eat it.

I suppose what's called in the American Army,

I tease Sharon that she lives next door to Jake Cahill.

I think Charlie's really gonna dig you.

I think I know who you are. Put it there.

I think it hits harder than I gave it credit for.

I think Steve's gonna be there too.

I think that dent in the car says something different.

I think we've, uh...

I thought it was pronounced Caleb "Dakota."

I threw this little prick into it,

I told you they'd come to parlay.

I try.

I unleash all my power.

I used to ride horses every day back in Tennessee.

I used to shoot Bounty Law here, George.

I used to shoot Westerns here at the ranch.

I waited at the bar till closing time,

I wanna send you greetings from my wife,

I want a whole new look for Caleb.

I want a zeitgeist flair to the costumes.

I want the old man himself.

I want them to see Caleb.

I want to give him a hippie jacket.

I want to go with a different hairstyle.

I want you to know, I'm the one who cast you.

I was fucking blind!

I was Rick's stunt double.

I was shit scared of the thing, to be honest.

I watch it with Squeaky.

I will handle this.

I will throw this shit in the trash.

I would be delighted, Monsieur Dakota.

I, apparently, was on a list of four.

I, uh... I have a meeting with a very handsome cowboy man.

I... I appreciate it. It's a good part.

I'd be delighted, Monsieur DeCoteau.

I'd find out that jughead's name.

I'd make him a cripple.

I'd really like to say a quick hello now

I'd say $50,000 would buy me

I'd say, "Okay, you got me,"

I'll be right out.

I'll give her a fat $5 gold piece,

I'll give her a fat $5 gold piece..."

I'll handle this guy.

I'll let him know you came by.

I'll meet you there, huh?

I'll open the door for you.

I'll see you tomorrow, then.

I'll take over for Tex.

I'll try not to.

I'm 8.

I'm a friend of Terry's and Dennis Wilson's.

I'm a friend of the Polanskis.

I'm a stuntman.

I'm about to burst.

I'm always gonna be the horse's ass

I'm an old friend of George's. Thought I'd stop and say hello.

I'm as real as a doughnut, motherfucker.

I'm Cliff Booth.

I'm fine, Scott.

I'm fine, Scott.

I'm Freya.

I'm going to Chatsworth.

I'm gonna blow your fucking brains out tonight.

I'm gonna get my carcass on home.

I'm gonna tell you a story.

I'm gonna use it.

I'm here to help any way I can.

I'm here to pick up a first edition

I'm Jay Sebring.

I'm just here to do a job.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just surprised how accurate

I'm looking at an ugly owl hoot

I'm not complaining, man. I like driving you around.

I'm not sure, but the owner of the property,

I'm only going as far as Westwood Village.

I'm practically crying, and I haven't even read it.

I'm pretty sure it's "DeCoteau."

I'm Rick Dalton's stunt double.

I'm sorry about...

I'm talking to your next door neighbor about it right now.

I'm the devil,