Chef Edit

A guy who writes about food on the internet.

A job, not money. I need a job, like I had.

A kid who'd rather go to New Orleans than Disney World.

A light sc****.

A little bit of both.

A real chef's knife.

Abuelo... (SPEAKS SPANISH) Everything OK?

After you're done with your homework,

Ah, let me... let me talk to him.

Ah! One is coming up.

Ahh! That's good.

Alright, 70!

Alright, alright, alright! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

Alright, alright. Relax, relax. Keep it down. Keep it down.

Alright, backing up.

Alright, buddy, I need you to get me a crowd.

Alright, buddy.

Alright, come on. Come on. (WHISTLES)

Alright, give me one second. Did you know your son could work a grill?

Alright, good. Turn around.

Alright, I got four right here.

Alright, let's go. Pre shift, guys.

Alright, pal. Here we are.

Alright, so, I guess we gotta cook some food.

Alright, so, I'm gonna hit the chalkboard.

Alright, well, better keep an eye on him.

Alright? Clean something else.

Alright? I'm worried. Eat some crackers or something.

Alright.

Alright. Let's go.

Alright. Let's watch the music.

Alright. Take that bucket, fill it.

Am I threatening to fire you?

And all he's doing is busting my balls.

And any career advice should be kept to oneself.

And as far as that goes, that's a personal... that's...

And as far as your publicist goes, when she calls back, you let her know

And cook the menu we should've cooked last time.

And despite what you might think,

And either you cook the menu that our customers have come to ex...

And get the mise on the steak. You still shitfaced?

And he wrote back.

And help out.

And hit a few extra cities on the way?

And I can't write about anything I have a vested interest in.

And I feel like I really got to know you.

And I felt so responsible for that shit.

And I know people like you don't usually care about that kind of thing.

And I think if you give it a shot, you might love it too.

And I think we had a couple of drinks and we went to Islands.

And I think we had a couple of drinks and we went to Islands.

And I wanna share this with you.

And I was with her and we had this...

And I'll come running.

And I'm gonna be really busy with the truck

And I'm sorry if I wasn't the best father.

And I've just been waiting for the right occasion.

And I've just put in a bid on a place on Rose.

And if you fuck this up, everything sucks in the world.

And in the morning, you go get the rest of the ingredients,

And it keeps me going, andl love it

And it let me send a message to him.

And it looks like he re tweeted it

And it's gotta be OK with Mom. Let me just say that first.

And it's only for the weekends and after school

And it's true, because you are.

And Jagger didn't play Satisfaction', how would you feel?

And l

And learning things from each other.

And me working all the time, when we hung out, you liked to do fun things.

And nobody wants to even try it.

And now it's time for you to go.

And now that it's all ended, and I'm, like... I'm, like, fucking lost.

And now we just have to tip.

And order 21, slider.

And our place is in a fucking creative rut.

And people will try because they're open to a new experience

And Percy's 10 years old. Does he still need a nanny?

And the money goes into your college fund.

And then that gives you ideas of what to cook.

And then you cut 'em together and watch it. It's cool.

And then you get another week of headlines.

And then you got this food critic posting fresh blogs about you nonstop.

And then you just smugly just fucking shit on my shit?

And there's so much white noise, nobody remembers anything.

And they'll end up liking it.

And they're all coming to watch me stick it in his ass.

And they're all getting picked up, and the picked up headlines

And this is where Abuelito lives and works.

And threaten legal action or something?

And we see how it goes tonight?

And we're gonna finish strong with a crowd pleaser,

And what do you? You just write shit to make...

And when you see a box, make sure the box is around our head.

And you can cook whatever you like.

And you don't do anything. What do you do?

And you take care of him while I work?

And you're gonna be really busy with school.

And you're looking, you're looking.

And you're making a problem where there's no problem.

And, see, the cheese is starting to evolve too.

And...

And... Oh, come here.

Are getting picked up by each other.

Are we... we're talking about the carpet now

Are you kidding me? I buy ink by the barrel, buddy.

Are you listening? I don't wanna get involved with any of that.

Are you OK?

Are you talking about my sweetbreads? Is that what you mean?

Are you, uh... are you planning on altering the menu?

Aren't you the lava cake guy?

Arroz con pollo, yuca frita.

As long as it's not weird for you I don't want you to feel like

As soon as you get your good colour... This is now where you start it.

Asshole!

At Carl Casper.

At... Chef...

Attila the Hun is calling me. I gotta go, man.

Aww, tell him I love him.

Be careful!

Because he couldn't go with you to New Orleans, right?

Because I took a business meeting with the guy.

Because I was late? I already apologised to him. We're fine.

Because I'd like to back you.

Because it's hot and it's loud and there's a lot of bad language.

Because this shit is sensational.

Because when we're hopping, you're gonna have to jump in on the line

Because you deserve it.

Because you were with Inez and you guys were sleeping together

Beignets.

Best Cuban food in all of South Beach.

Big night tonight.

Big night tonight.

Big pickles. Nice. One, two.

Bring in the waitstaff, have 'em taste the food.

Bring that shit back. Bring that shit back.

Bring that shit back. Bring that shit back.

Buckle up, buddy. Sorry I'm late.

But a chef's knife, it belongs to the chef, not to the kitchen.

But all the people following me, I don't wanna hang out during the day.

But half the people are saying he's right.

But he's gonna 86 it. Riva's gonna 86 it, I know.

But I can still work on the truck, right?

But I cooked the beef cheek, which is a better dish,

But I just thought that, you know,

But I'm fairly certain we have a good shot at 'Hell's Kitchen'.

But I'm good at this.

But it's funny too at the same time.

But it's out there.

But my cousin knows a guy who'll hook us up with all our musical necessities.

But my cousin knows a guy who'll hook us up with all our musical necessities.

But of course I did. He's my ex husband.

But the summer's gonna end and we're not gonna be doing this anymore.

But there just might be an opportunity here.

But we had a lot of fun, and nobody could take away from us

But we have the most reservations on a work night since we opened.

But we want the green ones. Here. Hang onto this.

But we're gonna be home soon, and we're gonna get back to our lives,

But we're still really good friends.

But you decide. What do you think?

But you know what makes me feel like a turd?

But you should know, it hurts people like me.

But you... The truck looks great.

But you're not too busy with it. You're...

But you're still taking him with you to New Orleans, right?

But, actually, recently, I'm down 15 pounds.

By definition, it's my food because it's my restaurant.

Call your pretty friends, bring 'em in. Tell 'em the tickets are on me.

Can I ask you a question?

Can I take one pressing a sandwich or something?

Can I talk to you?

Can we do one more where... with 'Lady and the Tramp'

Can you picture me driving a food truck? I'm a chef.

Can you read it to me, please?

Can you turn that down, please?

Can't do that.

Carl, can you tell me what's going on for tonight?

Carl, do what you want tonight. OK? You're the chef.

Carl, easy.

Carl, I get ideas. Sometimes my ideas work.

Carl, you need to take a break.

CARL: Alright. Be good, man.

CARL: Come on, get in.

CARL: I think I missed the exit.

CARL: Look who's waiting for us. Hi, Mommy.

CARL: Now, watch me. Watch what I'm doing.

CARL: Oh, man, thank you so much for saying that.

CARL: Oh, man, that's gorgeous.

CARL: OK, enough with the virtual world. How about something real?

CARL: OK, look, the key is, you gotta look for ingredients

CARL: Tony.

CARL: Two slices of cheese one, two.

CARL: Yeah, thank you.

CARL: Yeah. I'm in Miami now.

CARL: Yeah. Oh, there we go.

Carl.

Carl.

Carl. Carl. We're staying with the same menu, right?

Chef Big Dog up all night cooking!

Chef, don't... That's not a good idea.

Chocolate lava cake is not just undercooked chocolate cake.

Chocolate lava cake.

Come here.

Come here. I miss you. Give me a kiss.

Come on, don't be afraid. Step up!

Come on, everybody. Everybody together. Come on.

Come on, give me some drinks. Something premium.

Come on. French Quarter.

Come on. Let's sell sandwiches, baby!

Come on. Mommy misses you.

Come over here. Candy, come over here.

Come with me. Get off the truck.

Congratulations, man. That's a big deal.

Cool.

Could I at least come shopping with you?

Could I speak to the chef for just a second, please?

Could I speak with the chef? With Chef Casper?

Could we have a little privacy, uh, guys?

Could you keep Percy for me?

Cubano.

Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them.

Dad! Come on. Let's go.

Dad.

Dad.Dad.

Delicioso.

Delicious!

Did you post anything since last night?

Do you know how hard my whole staff works?

Don't bother painting. We'll paint it when we get back.

Don't do it. Just stay.

Don't lose it.

Don't make me get the fucking ruler out. Thank you.

Don't thank me till you see it.

Don't thank me till you see it.

Double convection oven underneath. It's a real workhorse.

Driving all night. Doing good.

Dude, I'm putting a little cornstarch on my werewolves, man.

Dude, when I heard your voice, I was like, "That's what I wanna do."

Eat it slow.

Even if I could persuade one site to pull down one clip,

Even now, as you get further, Jon,

Every other person you say 'New Orleans' to thinks jazz and voodoo.

Everybody your age have phones?

Everyone loved it. He loved it, even.

Everything good that's happened to me in my life came because of that.

Everything is going to work out.

Eww! Is that what you're doing this for?

Excuse me?

Fine.

For calling the most respected critic in Los Angeles an asshole.

For here? I don't know.

For the last 10 years!

From now on, before you post anything online, I OK it. Alright?

From you or your ex husband.

Get some of that. Those look great. See that?

Get some sleep. Fuck Twitter. Come on, get outta here.

Get that lava cake out, table 22.

Get the fuck off the phone, bro. Let's go!

Get to the top floor.

Getting in there.

Getting two stars is good, right?

Give me five minutes with my staff, I'll walk you through the menu.

Go and look at your dad's new truck.

Go by the backhoe.

Go with the chile, the chile vinegar.

Go work with your dad. It's fun.

Go, go! go' 90'

Go. Go to Mommy.

Good for you. Good for you, man. Get things done.

Good luck.

Good, good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Guys, big night tonight. You all know what's happening?

Good. It's not the menu you got printed. It's different.

Good. Now, watch. Come over here.

Got everything... Plancha's... Everything's hot.

Gotta still hit the farmers' market.

Grab a coffee.

Grandpa still works? What does he do?

Great. Awesome.

Half a dozen places tried to poach me when I was back at Gauloises.

Hang on a second, buddy. And on the radishes here, I use the tops, OK?

Hang on, guys. Come on. Hang on, hang on.

Hang on, hang on.

Hang on, one second. He's my kid. He's just learning.

Hang on. We're gonna move it down the road.

Have you not heard of the term 'social networking'?

He ain't gonna let you serve that Korean shit.

He said that you look like you've gained a couple of pounds

He says I can cook whatever I want.

He sees all this shit on the computer.

He wants his grandson to see him play at least once.

He was... He thought you were gonna close his fucking restaurant down!

He wrote it to everybody.

He wrote that to me?

He wrote that to me?

He's eating the chocolate lava cake right now.

He's eating the chocolate lava cake right now.

He's fine. He's got a couple of burns and two stitches from a paring knife.

He's hurt. He misses you.

He's in school all day. What does she even do here? Hi, Flora.

He's not gonna flake. Neither am I.

He's not gonna perform forever.

He's not... He's 10, he's got a phone.

He's ready to cook!

He's saying his pants might fall.

He's smiling like he's got something on me.

Heat. Heat.

Help him with that banana ketchup and yucca fries.

Help Martin with the pig. We got the pig.

Here we go, papi. Perfect. Perfecto.

Here we go.

Here we go. Thank you. Thanks for your patience.

Here you go, little man.

Here, talk to him.

Here.

Here's what we're doing.

Hey, buddy, you don't have to clean that. We're throwing it out.

Hey, can I get a quick picture with you for my kid?

Hey, can I just take a picture up there in the kitchen?

Hey, Carl. Carl, check it out.

Hey, Carl. Hey, papi, mira, I don't know if you heard or not, but...

Hey, come on, man! Get that out of my face.

Hey, Dad. I understand if we can't go to New Orleans.

Hey, guys! Hello?

Hey, I can't get a hold of your mom.

Hey, jefe, this sound system sounds like ass.

Hey, killer, what's up? How you doing, little gangster, huh?

Hey, listen, could we twitter each other when we're not in the same place?

Hey, little man, is the plancha red hot?

Hey, look. Come over here, look.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

Hey. You can't talk like that.

Hi, Flora. Percy here?

Hi. I'm Carl Casper. I'm here to see Marvin.

Hm'?

Hold on a second. Let me unlock it for you real quick.

Holy sh... No, we can't do this.

How can this possibly be an opportunity?

How can you even ask for kettle corn? You know what it is?

How could you even want kettle corn

How many people you got working? You got, like, 50 people.

How many? We are overbooked. But I just printed out all the menus.

How you gonna keep that psychopath from coming back here?

How'd you get those pictures from here?

How'd you... What'd you...

Huh?

Huh? It's beautiful.

Huh? Look at that.

I appreciate the offer, but I don't need any charity

I ask you to leave, you gotta look at Carl?

I avoid all... Oh, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?

I believe it was.

I came out to LA for a Clippers game once

I can book you for all the parties that I'm doing.

I can get you money to mention a few products.

I can't go to the market. We gotta hook up the fryer. Get rid of the steam pit.

I can't see.

I can't wait to try my first beignet.

I could really use your help on the truck.

I could work after school and on weekends.

I could... Alright.

I didn't get to finish my sandwich.

I didn't know that. I thought we were having fun.

I didn't like it either.

I didn't like what they wrote about you.

I didn't. I just came back from shopping, there was this long line.

I do. 'Cause I could have done better.

I don't care if Mommy's not around. I don't want you cursing around here.

I don't care what she makes. Get to your point.

I don't care what you think.

I don't even know what happened with us.

I don't even know what that means.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

I don't give a fuck what the deal was!

I don't have any money.

I don't know that I feel like a turd.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know, but, you know, I can find out tomorrow I call him.

I don't know.

I don't know. He was on his way back here.

I don't know. I got... Everything's very full for me.

I don't know. That's what she's saying.

I don't know. They're serving the same shit.

I don't know. Whatever it is, clean it out.

I don't need guidance right now. I need space.

I don't think you understand what's going on here.

I don't want it to go back to that.

I don't want you to feel that way coming in here with your hat in your hand.

I don't want your money. I can't take charity from you.

I don't... I got all...

I feel like I lost my job, I made an ass of myself on the internet.

I feel like I've let you down so much, and I didn't want to blindside you,

I figured, you know, with you living at Mom's house

I get to touch people's lives with what I do.

I got a lot to do and a lot on my mind.

I got a problem, 'cause she's... best receptionist I've ever had.

I got bumped up, man, to sous chef.

I got him espresso, bought you five minutes of time.

I got it. Mind if I borrow this?

I got lots of marinating to do.

I got no job prospects whatsoever.

I got some presents for you.

I got this. Percy, look. Whoo!

I got two stars.

I gotta go shopping for tonight. I'm sorry.

I gotta pick up some equipment for the truck.

I gotta pick up the kid. Where's Tony?

I guess you'll have to stay there for a while, bro.

I had been drinking that day. I... l... l didn't know what to do.

I had no control over the menu.

I have a wonderful '09 that I just opened to let breathe.

I have Carl with me. I'm at home. Thank you.

I have complete freedom to cook whatever I want now.

I have something really good planned for tonight.

I have to run out for a quick meeting,

I just don't like to see you like this.

I just wanna say one thing. I just wanna say one thing. Just one thing.

I just want to be honest with you, OK?

I knew you would have something bigger than this.

I know what a food blogger is.

I know, but you're a publicist. Don't you have relationships?

I like my life.

I like New Orleans too.

I like New Orleans.

I like that. Alright, New Orleans.

I like this humility. It's good.

I live in a shitty apartment in Venice.

I love both of you.

I love you too!

I love yucca.

I mean, I don't read that shit normally, but, you know,

I mean, like, now. That was a long time ago.

I mean, not now.

I mean, really, really good.

I mean, since we were divorced. Have you slept...

I mean, you know, fuck 'em. That's what I mean.

I mean, you robbed me of my pride and my career and my dignity.

I mean, you're really good. You work really hard.

I might not do everything great in my life, OK?

I need some help moving this equipment in.

I need some sort of, like, lever and fulcrum.

I need to wait for another job, for all this shit to blow over

I need you out front. They're three deep in the bar. Get off the phone.

I pay for the glasses. I pay for the napkins.

I pay for the spoons. I pay for Molly's salary.

I pay for your entire staff's salary, OK?

I promised these people the best sandwich of their lives.

I really don't care what magazine said that you're the next big thing.

I sank a fortune into the remodel to get you the French cooking top,

I should have cooked the shit I was gonna cook.

I sold my website for a whole lot of money

I tagged it so they can mark us on their maps.

I think I missed the exit.

I think that asshole might be our new partner.

I think that's a good place to start.

I think there's something dead in there.

I think this is kinda fun. You know, just figuring stuff out.

I think we take it back to something simple.

I think you might have posted that publicly.

I think you should play your hits.

I think, um...

I thought I was sending you a private message.

I thought I'd drop you off at the restaurant.

I thought my food was needy and cloying.

I thought this shit lives forever online.

I tweeted the picture on your account and then geotagged it. Look.

I understand.

I wanna bankroll you,

I wanna see what they wrote.

I wanna teach you what I learned.

I want him to have a real one from here, from Little Havana.

I want people having fun at all the tables around.

I want the Cambros, the delis out so we can start plating, OK?

I want you to be happy.

I want you to call any time. I'm right here.

I want you to do that on the whole truck.

I want you to watch everything everybody's doing,

I want you to watch for the bread to get golden.

I want you to watch for the cheese to melt.

I was under the impression that tonight was gonna somehow be...

I was with her, then you were with her, and then maybe I fucked her after.

I wish I never... I should've cooked the shit he wanted me to cook.

I won't. Thank you.

I wouldn't blame you for having a few trust issues,

I wouldn't challenge you to a cook off.

I'll be back later. 'Bye.

I'll drop you guys off at the hotel,

I'll have him home in time for school.

I'll teach you how to use this thing.

I'll tell him.

I'm a real chef with...

I'm afraid that was left ambiguous.

I'm alright.

I'm alright. I'm alright.

I'm Carl. This is my truck.

I'm divorced, I'm old, I got no money.

I'm embarrassing.

I'm everywhere.

I'm glad you're here, but why didn't you call to say that you were coming?

I'm gonna fill up the propane tanks,

I'm gonna go drop Percy off and come back

I'm gonna go, OK? I got a call coming in.

I'm gonna have 'em pull it around.

I'm gonna let you... It's not sweetbreads.

I'm gonna make it up to him.

I'm gonna miss you too.

I'm happy, OK?

I'm here to see... here to see Percy.

I'm not cooking sweetbreads! Listen to me.

I'm not dad material right now, if you hadn't noticed.

I'm not gonna write about it.

I'm not perfect. I'm not the best husband.

I'm not sure I get what's going on here.

I'm not talking about how much money we're making,

I'm off school next month.

I'm really gonna miss you.

I'm really sorry. I was on the spot, bro.

I'm sorry, but this is none of your business what I did...

I'm sure it's fine.

I'm talking about creatively the food that we're serving.

I'm trying to line up some interviews for next week.

I'm up to 2,000 followers since last night.

I'm used to it.

I'm, uh... eating the food. I'm eating your food.

I'm... I don't know him, OK? He's at a weird age.

I'm... I'm sorry, Percy.

I've also been shooting these videos one second every day.

I've been on a break. I've had too much of a break.

I've been waiting to talk to this prick for a long time.

I've done this before. I can help guide you.

I've had a really good time with you these last couple of weeks.

I've had chefs before you in this kitchen.

I've never not known what I was gonna do. I've always known.

If I can get one end up on the tailgate.

If I had to... But if you're not gonna paint, I would...

If it doesn't work out next month, we'll go later.

If it doesn't... I'll ask Mom.

If you can pronounce it, we can make it.

If you can't get me, I'm on a cell phone and I've got a pager.

If you change your mind, you call me and I'll go get you anywhere.

If you don't cook my menu.

If you got another gig, I was gonna drop everything to be your line cook. Didn't I?

If you need it more authentic, you can swim 90 miles that way.

If you put ahi tuna on a menu, it will sell out.

In case you don't want to remove your shoes.

In the meantime, you just tweet me wherever you are

In. Just like that.

INEZ: Mwah!

INEZ: What doesn't?

Inez.

Is because I called out Ramsey Michel online

Is Chef Casper here?

Is he coming back?

Is he here? Is the fucker still here?

Is he there?

Is it 'cause you're getting reviewed?

Is it a little bit funny? Like... Like, is it... they're laughing at me or with me?

Is it... So it's yours?

Is something wrong?

Is that what's happening? Six of these. Let's see what we got.

Is there something we can do to make you more comfortable?

Is this about the food truck? I don't wanna talk about it again.

Is this beer?

Is this the beignet place?

Isn't that what you're hired to do? To take these things off the internet?

Isn't this, um...

It does, but there's so much news out there and it's so fast

It doesn't bother me. I just wanna know.

It doesn't bother me. I just wanna know.

It fucking hurts when you write that shit!

It hurt, alright?

It means it got picked up and re tweeted everywhere.

It means that 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed.

It might be good. That's where it all happened for you.

It posts your feed so all your followers can read it.

It sucks.

It was theater. By the way, what the fuck were you cooking?

It was very illuminating.

It'll last you a long time if you take care of it.

It's a big deal.

It's a big opportunity for you.

It's a blank canvas for your dreams.

It's a video. Look.

It's called a plancha. We make Cuban sandwiches on that.

It's cool? That's how it works, it's cool?

It's filled with people that've been eating your food

It's fucking molten, see? Its fucking molten, you asshole!

It's fucking molten!

It's gonna need a lot of work, though.

It's gotta be, right? (LAUGHS)

It's guaranteed. You know that.

It's just better if we don't live in the same house.

It's just... that was the day that...

It's like baby powder.

It's not a toy. You understand?

It's not about you eating, it's about me buying groceries.

It's not hard to make people happy.

It's not so spicy. Come on.

It's not your food.

It's OK. I can go get on a plane and pick him up.

It's on... Yeah, it's on. And then put on camera. There we go. Yeah.

It's part of the Louisiana Purchase from Napoleon.

It's part of the United States.

It's still early. Can I watch?

It's too humid down here.

It's up to you. End of discussion.

It's worth the wait, I promise.

It's zoned, it's permitted. You could build it out however you like.

Just a moment, please.

Just Daddy's so busy with work right now. You're the best.

Just listen. I was very sad. I was very lonely.

Just listen. I won't send it until we all say it's OK.

Just orange? Alright, give me six bunches of those.

Just touch the... Tap the screen first. Hold on.

Just wanted to get some beignets with you.

Keep the motherfucker there!

Ketel One for the man.

Know what a meme is? I'm a meme. I'm a fucking meme.

L...l just don't want you to be disappointed

Late? He waited for you for one hour alone outside.

Lechon!

Legs out.

Let me get one more of these. You should check this out.

Let me get some?

Let me handle him. Don't worry about that. I got it.

Let me hear him out. You know?

Let me know when he gets here. And let's have fun.

Let me see if I got something to say anymore. I don't even know.

Let's also get the 6 inch chef's knife with the plastic handle.

Let's also get the 6 inch chef's knife with the plastic handle.

Let's call her. Go inside with me and we'll call her.

Let's get going on the soup. We're behind on the egg prep.

Let's go, Tony. Fuck this.

Let's go! Get the leg on. Coming up.

Let's have a three way right here. Come on. Come on. (LAUGHS)

Let's just...

Let's make some decisions together. Let's start right here.

Let's start off easy and then we'll get into the uncomfortable stuff.

Like Honey Boo Boo. I don't want that.

Like this andouille sausage.

Like we saved the rest of the stuff. Let's just clean it out.

Like what? I'm fine. I have to get to work.

Like when you lived at home.

Like, a whole world of memories that you have of being there.

Like, hanging out and talking.

Like, this is yucca, right?

Listen, I gotta go to the farmers' market, pick up some ingredients.

Listen, I was... l was thinking, about what we were talking about.

Listen, I, uh... l want to talk to you about something.

Listen, pal, I don't think we have time to catch a movie today.

Little man, get me hazelnuts, get me some more ham.

Look at this piece of fruit.

Look at those pictures.

Look, if you bought Stones tickets

Look! It's up, it's up. It's up, it's up. The review's up.

Looks good. It looks good already.

Looks good. You know what?

Looks good. You know what?

Looks here like you guys are having so much fun.

Lovely to see you again, Mr Michel. Right this way.

Make them understand what we're going for.

MAN: A mark. B mark.

MARTIN ON PHONE: What happened to those interviews you had?

Martin, come on. Let me go, buddy. Don't do it.

Martin, I like your mojo.

MARTIN: Alright. Get together.

MARTIN: Could you give us five minutes, please? Five minutes.

MARTIN: Cubano coming up.

MARTIN: It's hard to use other people's technology.

MARTIN: Jefe, jefe. It says 'sold out', man.

MARTIN: Mmm! Three equal pieces.

MARTIN: That's your house!

MARTIN: Two slices of ham, three of pork.

Martin's putting cornstarch on his balls.

Marvin said that you guys might help me.

Maybe a little higher?

Maybe it will just, like, clear your mind out.

Maybe it's important for you to talk to him about it, then.

Maybe since last time, I understand,

Maybe some other time.

Me too.

Media noche, Texas.

MEN: Arrgh!

Mind if I post this?

Mm hm. I thought it was like texting.

Mmm!

Mmm. We should get some sliders.

Mole, two Cubanos,

Mom wants to talk to you.

Mom wants to talk to you. I think it's yes. Hang on.

Mom! Dad wants me to cook on his truck!

More importantly, you know, you just cook your ass off in there.

Mucho goods.

My cousin knows a guy. I'm gonna hook it up. Alright?

My credit cards are maxed out and we're not charging for food yet.

My kid and I saw you on 'Tosh.0'. You were hilarious.

Nah, this is Frenchman Street. Bourbon's for tourists.

Next month? Yeah. We could go next month.

Next! Next!

Nice driving skills, huh?

No shit! That's excellent!

No shit. You got a fucking taco truck?

No way, not without one of us hurting ourselves. No, no, no, don't.

No, but he's never had a real Cuban sandwich. I want him to try it.

No, by the time you get back, I'll have this all spotless and cleaned up.

No, Chef.

No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit reply

No, he's asking if we're back together.

No, I'm not doing it for that. Someone wrote something bad.

No, I'm talking to the grill. Yeah, you.

No, I'm telling you what I'm prepared to do

No, like, hanging out and doing something.

No, no, forget the freaking fryer, man.

No, no, no, how many covers do we have tonight?

No, no, we gotta chiz this. You didn't chiz it.

No, no, we're friends. I'm helping watch the baby.

No, not just, like, watching something or doing something.

No, of course not. I would never hand you beer.

No, really! He's on the phone.

No, seriously, there are people... there are people who are calling me.

No, that's gross! I'm not cleaning that out.

No, you're not gonna get kettle...

No! I cleaned your whole stupid truck!

No.

No.

No. Trust me, the first phone call as soon as something becomes real.

No. Trust me, the first phone call as soon as something becomes real.

No. You edit 'em all together.

None of the prospects panned out.

Nope.

Not anything for work?

Not every chef gets that. You know why you get it?

Not one person ordered your sweetbreads.

Not right now, please.

Not the same.

Nothing. Just classic bullshit. What is that?

Now, should we have served that sandwich?

Now, this is the most important part.

Now, watch this. Take this mustard, from end to end.

Now, watch.

Oh, and your finger's in front of the camera.

Oh, dude. Oh, you're everywhere.

Oh, give me another one. If you're gonna give him some, give me some.

Oh, good. What does it mean?

Oh, hey, hey. Don't do that. You're gonna rupture something, man.

Oh, jefecito.