Space Jam (1996) Edit

A baseball player.

A few?

A Hall of Fame shot.

A killer!

A little high.

A phone call from you....

Absolutely, sir.

All right, let's slow down, son.

All right, troops. lt is for us to choose a battlefield that affords us

All right, you pesky rabbit.

All right! All right, let's go, team!

All right.

All right.

All right.

Always!

An exciting guy who could even perform at half time.

An exhilarating team sport currently growing rapidly in popularity...

And a dork!

And as such are the exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros. lnc.

And I'd look pretty stupid ifyou don't show up.

And large.

And lose.

And now...

And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd.

And placed on display for the amusement of our customers.

And play one on one with the paying customers.

And there's an important question I must ask you.

And this girl...

Anyone can do that.

Anything?

Are these the best seats?

Are we there yet?

Are you listening?

Are you okay?

Are you talking to me?

Are you with me or not?

At least you look good. Good looking.

Bacteria travels faster than the speed of light.

Bad dog!

Bad dog! Git!

Baldy?

Baseball. Yeah, now, that's a sport.

Basketball it is!

Basketball!

Basketball!

Be the ball.

Beautiful. What is that, Colonial?

Because he's bigger.

Big man, ain't he?

Big, shiny new things.

Bottoms up.

Break out.

Bring it on, dude.

Bring them here.

Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny.

Bugs Bunny!

Bugs Bunny?

But a very nice dinette set.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to retire from the game.

But not here.

But what if we win?

But, Mommy, I don't want to go to school today.

Bye bye.

Can I have some?

Can I have your auto

Can I play?

Can see everything from here! Very good!

Can we ask you a favor, Mr. Bunny?

Can't jump high.

Can't jump.

Can't teach it.

Can't we talk this over?

Careful, Pat.

Catch.

Check!

Chicken and what?

Chicken and what?

Close to the pin?

Collard greens.

Come here!

Come here.

Come here.

Come on, come on, baby.

Come on, come on, baby.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, Patrick. Showtime!

Come on, really?

Come on, Stan. Don't hug me, please.

Come on, we must find Michael's basketball stuff.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Get back on defense!

Come on! No, not today!

Come on.

Come on.

Come to Papa.

Coming through!

Cool.

Correction: We're Looney Tunes.

Couldn't sleep, Pops.

Crush them!

Curve ball. Don't swing.

Deal.

Did everyone get mad at you?

Did we get everything?

Did you hear him? Did you hear him? That little brat is right.

Did you order Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?

Do my best.

Do we have to?

Do we have to?

Do you hear them? They don't think you can play the game.

Do you know what time it is?

Do you want to win?

Does he hop around...

Does he say, ''What's up, doc?'' like this:

Don't be embarrassed.

Don't be nervous, you can do this.

Don't bring me again.

Don't bring me here any more, right?

Don't choke now. Come on.

Don't ever call me...

Don't kid.

Don't lose that confidence!

Don't try this at home!

Don't...swing.

Down in front!

Down, Beethoven.

Dress in the hallway.

Easy on the trousers, Daf.

Electrolyte levels, glucose, CBCs, RBCs, etc.

Eureka!

Even you.

Everybody.

Everyone's sleeping!

Exactly!

Excuse me, sorry.

Excuse me.

Fastball, outside corner. Swing.

Feed me!

Finished? Great speech and all.

For dinner?

Fore!

Forfeit?

From the NBA!

Get him!

Get inside his ball!

Get it?

Get off me! Your breath!

Get off my nose!

Get off the tee.

Get out!

Get the Looney Tunes.

Get this guy a tennis racquet!

Getting pretty good. Shoot till you miss.

Girls! Come on over! Hurry up! Hurry!

Give me the ball.

Give my friends their talent back.

Go get him!

Go Monstars! Go Monstars! Go Monstars!

Go on.

Go!

Going down!

Going up!

Good bye!

Good cut.

Good game.

Good idea.

Good idea.

Good shot.

Good shot.

Good try.

Good. I need a good meal tonight.

Good. Shoot it again.

Got to go.

Grab your Gatorade and we'll get a Big Mac on the way.

Guys, let's just go out and have fun.

Guys?

Guys...

Hang on!

Has anyone here ever played basketball?

He did it.

He had 3 strikeouts.

He is not washed up!

He just never learns!

He lost 32 points in his average.

He probably doesn't have it anymore.

He's a baseball player.

He's big.

He's bigger?

He's going down!

He's good.

He's mine!

He's pathetic, isn't he?

He's the one I want for Moron Mountain.

Heads up!

Hello, Mr. Swackhammer!

Hello!

Hello! A little surprise for you, my friends.

Here I am, in the peak of my form...

Here you go. Take him!

Here.

Hey, Jeff, you okay?

Hey, little pig!

Hey, wait for me! Hold your horses!

Hi, Mr. Jordan.

Hi. My name is Lola Bunny.

His batting average is .214, which is his weight.

Holy Putty Tat!

How about it? Ready?

How about we challenge them to a...

How about we go out and kick some alien butt?

How are you?

How did he do that?

How you doing?

How'd he do that?

I ain't going out like that. We're letting them push us!

I also see Michael Jordan...

I always try hard.

I bet you're good.

I can handle it again!

I can't. I'm helping my friends in their basketball game.

I could have been a contender!

I could have had a V 8!

I couldn't help it.

I did. I did see Michael Jordan.

I didn't know Dan Ackroyd was in this picture!

I didn't think you needed it. You're so tough. You're competitive.

I don't know if you guys are looney enough.

I don't know where you are...

I don't know.

I don't play basketball anymore.

I don't play defense.

I don't think so.

I don't think you should do this.

I enjoyed playing with you.

I feel so...

I follow your career and I think you're the greatest athlete that's ever lived.

I found the shorts.

I got it! I got his talent!

I got it! I got the ball!

I got it.

I have, Coach.

I have.

I knew that!

I knew that.

I know golf is your sport.

I know, I missed it.

I know.

I love basketball. I always have. Do you?

I love her.

I may not be tall, but...

I must ask you something.

I must be very, very...

I must go.

I need you to come out now, okay?

I say, I resemble that remark.

I say, let's go in that way!

I see aliens.

I smell something.

I stunk up the place. Hope baseball was a good idea.

I think outfield, because it'll be hard for me to pitch.

I think that's fair.

I think we might need some help.

I think we should qui qui forfeit.

I thought I saw....

I thought you'd get better seats.

I thought you'd never ask.

I thrive on pressure.

I told you not to!

I told you, if l've told you once...

I told you, if l've told you once...

I want him to be the happiest player.

I want to play at North Carolina.

I want to play on a championship team.

I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.

I was so worried!

I was thinking, could we stay here?

I washed them after every game!

I wet myself.

I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.

I'm a cheerleader.

I'm fine, thanks.

I'm fixing a divot.

I'm going this way! I'm going left!

I'm going to play professional baseball.

I'm going to regret this.

I'm happy to do it.

I'm here to make your life easier. Can I drive you somewhere?

I'm open!

I'm open!

I'm open!

I'm ready. I can do this.

I'm small, but I try hard to be good.

I'm Stan Podolak, Mr. Jordan, the Baron's new publicist.

I'm Stan Podolak.

In a shocking development, 5 NBA players were put on the disabled list...

It was another career day for Michael Jordan.

It's a fast paced, razzle dazzle game that requires quick wits...

Jeez! it's getting so a guy can't even get himself wet around here!

Just a few more tests.

Just a sec.

Just a wanna be who looks like him.

Just asking.

Just face it.

Just get out of my way.

Just guard the big guy.

Just how did you get here?

Just let me watch the game. Barkley is killing us.

Just look at the ball. Visualize where you want it to go.

Just one.

Just take the picture!

Just touch it.

Keep it down.

L'd like to try out.

L'll be all over him like a cheap suit! I'll be on him like stink on rice!

L'll be with you in a second, folks, after I finish with nature boy here.

L'll call you later. Love you, bye.

L'll do anything! Anything!

L'll get you another one.

L'll give us both twos. We weren't in any kind of emotional state to putt.

L'll have some.

L'll never get another technical.

L'll never swear again.

L'll never trash talk.

L'll take it to the rack.

L've been here before.

L've been MRl'd, EKG'd, x rayed, laser beamed....

L've got other skills. I could go work on the farm.

L've got you now!

L've never really told anybody this, except for one person.

Lace up your Nikes.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ladies and gentlemen...

Larry could have been me.

Leave the baseball player alone. He doesn't play basketball now.

Lemony fresh.

Let me help? Let me help! I can help!

Let me see.

Let me show you something.

Let the doctor take a look.

Let's all laugh at the duck.

Let's do it!

Let's do some drills.

Let's get a ladder...

Let's get out of here. This stinks.

Let's go in this way.

Let's go, Bulls!

Let's go!

Let's go! Get back on d!

Let's go.

Let's look upstairs.

Let's play defense.

Let's play some basketball.

Let's see what we got inside here.

Let's see what you got...

Let's teach them a lesson.

Let's try acupuncture.

Lf Mike is gone, the NBA is going to need some new people.

Lf someone gets injured, we could see a lot of minutes.

Lf this were a union job....

Lf you get good enough, you can do anything you want.

Lf you need help with the house....

Lf you win?

Lighten up.

Lights!

Like ''lnvasion of the Body Snatchers.''

Like this?

Listen, how is this for a new team name:

Listen, I didn't get dragged down here to lose to ugly Monstars.

Listen. After meeting with team owners...

Little aliens from outer space.

Ln 3 D land?

Ln there?

Lnteresting.

Look at Mugsey handle the rock!

Look at our facility.

Look at that spin.

Look for some players where they never looked before.

Look out for that first step, doc, it's a real lulu.

Look who's finally ready to play!

Look!

Looks good in that uniform.

Looks great. Can't teach that.

Looks like a basketball player to me.

Looks like I retired just in time.

Looks like Stan had a close encounter with a bug zapper.

Looney. Thank you!

Ls everything okay?

Ls he a Looney Tune?

Ls he around?

Ls it safe?

Ls that all?

Ls that Michael?

Ls this good?

Ls this the only thing on TV? What's up with this?

Ls this your man?

Lt didn't wear off. lt was water.

Lt doesn't bother me.

Lt gave me my powers back!

Lt is alive!

Lt smells like a...

Lt smells like a...

Lt was nothing.

Lt wasn't a dream! lt really happened!

Lt's a classic, but it's got a few peccadillos. Hold on.

Lt's a classic.

Lt's a man's game.

Lt's a nice house.

Lt's a rule.

Lt's a shame.

Lt's because I'm white.

Lt's better with my coloring.

Lt's coming from over here.

Lt's game time!

Lt's gut check time!

Lt's hard enough as it is.

Lt's like ''Star Trek.''

Lt's Michael!

Lt's Mike.

Lt's not over. We must come together.

Lt's open!

Lt's part of the deal. Touch the ball.

Lt's smoking too.

Lt's the boss.

Lt's the chubby boy!

M o n ....

Mais oui.

Make sure that nobody bothers Michael.

Make them.

May I remind you, sir...

Maybe nothing's wrong!

Me too!

Me too.

Me?

Me? Oh, yeah. I'm fine.

Michael Jordan!

Michael?

Michael? it's Stan.

Mike?

Moron Mountain, here we come.

Mother!

Mr. Commissioner, the place is sealed off.

Mr. Jordan, are you okay? Get off of him, Charles!

My grandmother plays better.

My mom says, ''Try your best ''

My name's Bugs.

My poor little cranium.

Never mind.

New ones!

Nice deltoids!

Nice digs.

Nice kaboom.

Nice pass.

Nice playing with you.

Nice puppy.

Nice shot, Mr. J.

Nice shot, Mr. Larry.

Nice shot.

Nice shot.

No dice.

No fooling.

No pain, no gain.

No problem.

No problem.

No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land.

No way, Jose.

No, I'm going to retire right now and that's it.

No!

No. Larry's white. So what?

No. Seriously?

No. Worse.

Nope! Never heard of him.

Nope. Nothing in here.

Not bad for the first half. But we must keep this up.

Not bad.

Not here.

Not real? lf I weren't real, could I do this?

Not so fast, doc.

Not very fast.

Not you, you idiot!

Now we go to the Los Angeles Forum...

Now what are we looking at here?

Now you get to live your dream. Let's go.

Now you're talking!

Obviously.

Oh, brother.

Oh, brother.

Oh, fear clutches my breast.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, my!

Oh, my!

Oh, my!

Oh, we're in big trouble now.

Oh, yeah? Who says?

Okay, birdie!

Okay, bunny, gather up your Tune pals.

Okay, I'll check.

Okay, let's analyze the competition.

Okay, little fella. You my friend?

Okay, okay, which one of you maroons has ever played basketball?

Okay, we need something. We need something...

Okay. lt is in the rule book.

Okay. Take this.

On the court, Bugs.

Once l've done all that...

One giant leap for Moron Mountain!

One small step for moi....

One thing. Pass me the ball, Bugs.

Open!

Or maybe I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary.

Or my enemy?

Over here!

Pardon me, Mr. Jordan.

Pardon me. Mr. Murray, something's really been bugging me.

Paws and wings in here! Okay!

Perhaps I could be of some assistance?

Pie? Pork chop?

Play along.

Play some 3 on 3 with us?

Please!

Please!

Pooch, stop it! Get off of him before I cook you!

Precisely, Sir Altitude.

Put your mom on.

Quiet, they're looking!

Quiet!

Reach in for the ball and then smile, okay?

Ready to go?

Ready?

Ready?

Ready?

Ready?

Really?

Red light!

Remember the tiny aliens I told you about?

Right!

Right!

Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor.

Road Runner.

Say, ''Ahh.''

Say, does he have great big long ears?

Say...

Secret stuff?

Secret stuff? You wouldn't hold out on us, would you?

Seven fift Seven fift Quarter past seven.

She was wide open.

She's hot!

She's obviously nuts about me.

Shouldn't you get some sleep first?

Shut up, get away from me. Powwow!

Sit right here.

Skilled guys who never really thought about a professional career.

Slammy!

Small arms! Short legs!

Smells good in here. What you cooking?

So sue me. it's just a suggestion.

So that puts him at .685 or something.

So that's what happened to them.

So, he needs his special underwear.

So, what do you say we go for a little spin?

Someone must get my gear from my house.

Someone's killing someone!

Something wacky.

Sorbet, perhaps?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Speaking of toys, you know all those mugs and...

Spit shine!

Spread out and search the place.

Stan Podolak.

Standing 2 foot 4...

Stay out of trouble.

Step aside, Babe. Let a star do this.

Still can't find anything wrong!

Stop hogging it.

Stop this cartoon!

Strike!

Suffering succotash!

Suffering succotash!

Sure, let the little pipsqueaks knock themselves out.

Sweetheart?

Than we used...

Thank God you're all right!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you.

Thanks for autographing that basketball for my kid.

Thanks for the ride.

Thanks, kid.

Thanks, Mike. I'll probably quote you on that.

Thanks, Sherm.

Thanks, though.

Thanks.

That felt good!

That girl's got some skills.

That hurt.

That is the last time I'm ever working with dogs or children.

That locker.

That means a lot.

That must hurt.

That was a good looking strikeout.

That was a nasty fall.

That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

That was your pitch.

That'll help us.

That's a real fine school.

That's all

That's all, folks!

That's good!

That's how it goes.

That's how it will be.

That's it. We're going.

That's my line.

That's our fifth guy.

That's the old Mugs I know.

That's the only thing you got right.

That's the word I was looking for!

That's very nice.

That's your dog.

The best players in the world!

The best!

The challengers for the Ultimate Game...

The Chicago Bulls is proud to welcome back...

The customer is always right!

The customer is always right!

The delay is killing us.

The duck!

The Ducks.

The kids are here.

The little aliens say it's their turn to use the court.

The Monstars!

The Monstars!

The Monstars!

The Monstars!

The Monstars! The Monstars!

The Monstars...

The National Basketball Association...

The NBA must face reality. What's happening is serious.

The one good thing is that my father had the opportunity...

The pain!

The party's over! Get in the spaceship.

The rest of you.

The Round Mound is back!

The shorts!

The view back here stinks.

Then I want to play in the NBA.

Then, they ain't so little!

There! That's the killer!

There.

There's a whole other half to play.

There's nothing here a little spit shine wouldn't fix.

There's one way to find out.

There's room at the top.

There's the defense boy. I got you.

These aliens from outer space want to make us slaves in their theme park.

These little guys would like to make an announcement. Here.

They forced their way inside your bodies.

They need your talent to win a...

They were nice about it.

They'll make us do stand up, the same jokes every night!

They'll wish they never were born!

They're ''monstars''!

They're going to need new players with talent.

They're huge! We need to beat these guys.

They're little. So we challenged them to a basketball game.

They're monsters!

They're talking about slavery!

Think he's all right? I hate to leave him.

Think I got a shot?

This could be useful.

This goes against everything I learned in health class.

This is it! This is it!

This is nice. This is a nice house.

This is why I was born.

This must be mine.

This will be good.

Tightly.

Time out!

Time out! Call time out!

Time out.

Time to go.

Time to play a little basketball.

Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.

Too conspicuous?

Top duck coming through!

Totally. All right. So, like, where are we going?

Touch it.

Touch it.

Touch it.

Typical.

Una momento!

Unlike football and baseball, only 5 men can play on a team.

Very funny.

Very smooth.

Wacky!

Wait till I get you back on Moron Mountain.

Wait, let me get a picture!

Wanna be! Be gone!

Want a bone?

Want to see something?

Watch out!

Watch this.

Watching this hurt me more than you.

Watching TV?

Way to go!

Way to go! Did you see the moves on that one?

We are taking you to our theme park in outer space.

We can still win this.

We can't go in the locker room.

We challenge you to a basketball game.

We didn't have that in school.

We don't want to go back.

We got a game in 5 minutes! We're talking a huge fine.

We got hoops.

We got them.

We got weights.

We must believe in ourselves.

We must confer.

We must fight back! We must get right in their faces!

We need a fifth player.

We need a new agent. We're getting screwed.

We need new attractions!

We need something, something....

We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.

We stole talent from the NBA players!

We'll be locked up like wild animals, trotted out to perform...

We're also chicken. We need it bad.

We're better than them.

We're fine. it's psychosomatic.

We're going to be slaves.

We're going to be slaves.

We're gonna get them!

We're in front of his house.

We're not worried.

We're teammates!

We're the Monstars.

We've been playing hard.

We've found the trophy room.

We've got an emergency Cartoon Character Union Meeting to go to.

We've got balls.

We've tried everything else.

Well, that's all, folks!

Well, well. I wonder who that could be.

Well?

What a trip!

What about a nice holiday ham?

What about we raise the stakes?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? it's after 12.

What are you looking at?