Main Content
Sound Added to Your Favorites Soundboard

Log in or create an account to save your favorites, or they'll expire in 12 hours

Error Adding Sound
Error adding sound to your favorites.
Sound Reported
Sound reported and our moderators will review it shortly.
Error Reporting Sound
Error reporting sound. Please use the Contact page.
Home > Barbershop 2: Back in Business...
5 66
Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004)

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004)

Barbershop 2: Back in Business is a comedy film released in 2004. It is a sequel to the successful 2002 film Barbershop and follows the lives of the barbers and clients at Calvin's Barbershop in Chicago. The movie sheds light on the day-to-day struggles of running a barbershop and tackles various social issues within the community.

The cast of Barbershop 2: Back in Business features an ensemble of talented actors and actresses who bring the characters to life. Ice Cube plays the role of Calvin Palmer Jr., the owner of the barbershop who is determined to keep his business successful amidst changing times. Cedric the Entertainer reprises his role as Eddie, the wise-cracking barber with a penchant for storytelling.

The movie features memorable performances from several other cast members, including Sean Patrick Thomas as Jimmy, a talented barber who is considering opening his own shop; Troy Garity as Isaac, a white barber struggling to fit into the predominantly African-American barbershop; and Michael Ealy as Ricky, a barber with big dreams of becoming a music producer.

In Barbershop 2: Back in Business, the barbershop faces a threat from a trendy chain of haircut salons opening nearby called "Nappy Cutz". The arrival of Nappy Cutz puts their longstanding business at risk, leading the barbers to become even more determined to preserve their culture and community within the neighborhood.

While the film's primary focus is on the barbershop, it also explores other storylines involving the individual lives of its characters. For instance, the relationship between Calvin and his wife, played by Jazsmin Lewis, encounters several bumps along the way, testing their commitment to each other. Additionally, Eddie's storytelling comes into play as he opens up about his past, providing a deeper understanding of his character and the community he represents.

Barbershop 2: Back in Business tackles important social issues, such as gentrification and the impact of outside forces on small businesses. The film emphasizes the significance of a community coming together to protect its interests and preserve its cultural identity. With its witty dialogue, poignant storytelling, and lighthearted humor, the movie provides an engaging and entertaining viewing experience.

If you're interested in revisiting the world of Barbershop 2: Back in Business, you can easily find and play the film or its soundtrack through various streaming platforms or DVD rental services. Additionally, you can also find and download the sounds and music from the movie, whether it's the iconic barbershop chatter or the catchy tunes in the soundtrack. By immersing yourself in the sounds and visuals of the film, you can truly appreciate the charm and humor that made Barbershop 2: Back in Business a beloved comedy.

Whether you're a fan of comedy, social commentary, or simply enjoy a well-crafted ensemble film, Barbershop 2: Back in Business offers an enjoyable and thought-provoking experience. So, sit back, relax, and indulge in the laughter and camaraderie of the barbershop, while enjoying the sounds of Chicago in this hilarious and heartwarming sequel.

A $200,000 windfall.
A hustle implies one side wins, the other side loses.
A little nervous.
A long time, long enough to wipe your nasty little butt.
A lot like it did for Ricky.
A nice woman wouldn't be doggin' my man Dinka.
A real barbershop got real people, real conversation,
A Subway and a Blockbuster.
A truth that we must live with for the rest of our lives.
After Calvin and I stopped dating, he started thinkin' small.
After that, you ain't got to speak to me ever again.
Ain't got no money, rob somebody with money.
Ain't in cuttin' hair. Must be slobbin' Terri in the locker room.
Ain't never seen nothin' like that in your life.
Ain't nobody scared! Tell your auntie!
Ain't nothin' going on in here, just business.
Ain't nothin' wrong with that. Nothin' wrong with that.
All I'm saying is if you're gonna have oral relations
All I'm saying is we need to keep our eye on Trent Lott.
All I'm saying, Calvin, is black folk love to take credit
All of them skanky as hell.
All right there, youngblood.
All right, all right.
All right, all right.
All right, fellas, how you doin'?
All right!
All right. Get out of the chair, man.
All right. Whatever you want here.
All that yapping leads me to rule number three...
All the time.
All this silence got my gut grumblin'.
All you have to do is talk.
Also, I want to institute a couple of new rules.
Also, I'm happy that people outside our community
Always, always.
And a large cup of n****, please.
And a pot pie with egg on it.
And a whole lot of others, too.
And all I'd like to say is that all change isn't bad.
And all of us is gonna die together!
And change is hard sometimes, right?
And double booking our clients!
And far from its roots as a family establishment,
And Gertrude Rose
And get some business.
And got the nerve to be huddled up with this shark.
And have all you ladies runnin' out screaming.
And I guess change, that's a good thing, right?
And I respect that.
And I want everybody to start greeting the customers by name.
And I want the best for my son
And I've been carrying that cheap ass thing with me
And if anybody wanna come over anytime and hoop it up,
And if they try to mess with this brother,
And living your life right and everything?
And Miss Emma bein' driven out...
And most of all, real barbers, and that's what we got here.
And my behind blow up like Dizzy Gillespie.
And now I'm working in a shop today.
And once you lose the people, you lose the neighborhood.
And reach!
And she's trying to wonder,
And sold them the barbershop, they'd probably pay us double.
And some of them ho's from the Snoop video.
And that ain't much.
And that is that Martin Luther King was shot and was killed tonight
And that little girl is a devil child, now.
And that's broke ass black folks.
And the smell.
And then I'm gonna burn your freedom papers.
And they're tryin' to get our ass out of here,
And this miracle happens if I do what?
And to the governing board that you believe in Quality Land's proposal,
And turn it into a more viable cash cow,
And two sides of Ask your mama
And what the hell is a subter fudge?
And when the pigs show up, they're gonna show up with guns.
And when we not, we not.
And you just about workin' my last nerve.
And you sittin' over here complainin'.
And you tryin' to act like you ain't got no...
And, man, it just got...
Anything but R. Kelly. Please. Somethin' wrong with that boy.
Apology accepted.
Archie Bunker and George Jefferson back together again.
Are you familiar with Calvin's Barbershop on 79th and Exchange?
As far as I'm concerned, my life began
As soon as they go freak out just a little bit,
At Calvin's Barbershop when Alderman Lalowe Brown stopped by
At least we ain't crazy.
At least, I think so.
Baby, it's on and crackin'!
Baby, you're putting me in the front chair?
Back up, back up!
Be like Mike, not like Rick.
Be serving wine when they walk through the door.
Beauties.
Beauty, light.
Because if they want to send us packin',
Been there since 1958.
Before Friday's city council meeting
Before I turn off the power in here
Before they got his ass, they was all over there together...
Before we adjourn and make our decision,
Better schools, cleaner streets...
Better. You're gonna be on the news.
Black power!
Black power!
Black power! That's us! Black power!
Black power! Yeah!
Blow up the whole block. I got some at the crib.
Both of you can kiss my ass.
Boy, it's hot out here.
Breathing in radiance,
Breathing out any heavy burdens.
Bring 'em on down. Bring all the kids.
Bringing it back to prayer pose.
Brother Calvin!
But don't you ever roll up on my customers.
But he was killed by a white man.
But his cousin in Atlanta sawfish.
But I can get you at 3:45 or 11:00 on Tuesday.
But I gotta bounce.
But I wanna introduce you to the man himself,
But I'd be all right, though.
But I'm gonna give you a clue.
But I've gotta keep mine.
But if we want to stand together as a community,
But it was a spur of the moment thing.
But it's been worth it, though.
But of course you wouldn't do that... too much pride.
But that ain't him. It ain't just him.
But you better catch me before the rollers go in.
But you did say you wanted to keep that particular area fertile
But you don't even know me, what I'm about.
But you don't want a good man, right?
But you passed.
But...
Butterfly, butterfly.
Bye, Gina.
Bye, Horace.
Cal wants me to handle some business.
Call my wife, man. That's her people.
Calvin, can I have a word with you for a second?
Calvin, I hooked you up with the alderman.
Calvin, I like what you said yesterday.
Calvin, my man!
Calvin, there's a lot of money to be made here, son.
Calvin, this is why black business does not succeed.
Calvin, when you get my age, you don't swerve.
Calvin, you run a family operation. You do not need to step it up.
Can somebody tighten me up?
Can we discuss this tomorrow?
Can you bring back some toothpicks?
Can you get me some ice or not?
Can you get this stuff on this list?
Can you handle that for me?
Can you hook me up with Isaac?
Can't a black man have a goddamn Fourth of July, too?
Can't nobody argue with that.
Carvin' I's in the back of people's head?
Change is a good thing.
Cheap? You saddity ho, give me my shit.
Check it out, little man.
Check this out.
Checker Fred, back to checkers.
Clown!
Come here.
Come on down and...
Come on down to Cal's.
Come on over here and get your hair cut.
Come on over here, Wakefield. Sit down.
Come on, babies. Today is the day.
Come on, dawg. You know I gotta have the I.
Come on, everybody, let's go back. This ain't nothin'.
Come on, have a seat. Enough of it already.
Come on, Jimmy, just two seconds.
Come on, let's get ready for our customers.
Come on, man, you gotta bounce. This is ridiculous.
Come on, man.
Come on, man. Get up.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Competition is a cornerstone of democracy.
Concerned? About November, right?
Condoleezza. With all that White House money she makin',
Cool.
Crazy? I'm about to drop him off at Miss Emma's.
Damn a Mini Me. I'll take me one of those.
Damn.
Deep ujjayi breath.
Definitely.
Did she tell you that maybe I'll try you out? Maybe?
Did she tell you that maybe I'll try you out? Maybe?
Didn't we come over here to see it?
Dinka? Ain't nobody doggin' him.
Don't come in here accusing me of some malicious and egregious act
Don't do me like that, man.
Don't even tell you what it might be like on the inside.
Don't even worry about it. Don't worry about it.
Don't leave me hanging.
Don't move! Don't move! Get away from that window!
Don't start paying me compliments and stuff,
Don't sweat it, Cal. We got your back no matter what.
Don't sweat the technique.
Don't talk about Luther Vandross, okay?
Don't worry. She ain't about to do nothin'.
Don't you own this place?
Downright flatulent.
DVDs, CDs. Ike Turner's greatest hits with Tina on the cover.
Each and every one of us has our own truth,
Ease up. It's cool.
Eddie, a man at your age should be watching what he eats.
Eddie, get me that chicken tamale and strawberry shake special.
Eddie, man, don't be so crazy.
Eddie, that's what I'm talkin' about. That's enough!
Eddie, what you doin'?
Eddie, where you goin'?
Eddie, you can't talk about people just 'cause they biracial.
Everybody get out of here, little kids and big kids.
Everybody in here sayin' I can't talk about Luther Vandross?
Everybody loves it.
Everybody's hatin' on me. 'Cause I'm competent?
Exactly right, exactly right.
Exactly.
Excuse me, Miss Watson. I'm sorry.
Expansion. Not Nappy Cutz.
Feet together, bringing it to prayer pose.
Fertile. I did say that, didn't I?
Fine, man.
Fire up the barbecue in the back,
First position.
Five minutes. We in, we out.
Food and clothing through our outreach program.
For a photo opportunity and haircut.
For making me look like a goddamn fool today.
For small business interests.
For some 40 odd years.
For the record...
For they half black brothers and sisters till somethin' goes sour.
Forget about it. We in a crisis, and you can double my rent.
Fred, don't buy nothing from that fool.
Free barbecue... food, fun, and free haircuts for the kids.
Fried, grilled, fondued, souffléd,
From Jenny Craig yourself?
Front chair.
Front chair.
Get a damn job.
Get me a Mountain Dew and chopped salad.
Get myself straight for Sunday morning.
Get off the truck! Get off!
Get old Checkers a ham and cheese on some honky bread,
Get on over there, Get low. Sit right on down, So low.
Get out of the way! Move!
Get over there! Do what I say!
Get real.
Get your lazy ass off my couch and get a job.
Gina, do I look like Beyoncé?
Give me some cookies. I'll go over there myself.
Give me that one right there.
Give you a hint, Throw you a lifeline.
Go a little crazy, get a little glitter like Mariah Carey,
Go on over there.
Go talk to your boy.
Go to the crack house and tell her.
Good morning there, youngblood.
Good to be back.
Good to have you back.
Good to see you. Come on back.
Good.
Good. I'm busy.
Got all the money in the world
Got something you ain't gonna believe...
Got ten locations nationwide.
Grumpy old man.
Guess it ain't no titty bar.
Handle that.
Handle your business.
Handle your business.
Hank, you seen a thief around here?
Have a little customer appreciation cookout.
He ain't shit! He ain't shit!
He broke into the white leagues with that crime.
He couldn't help but cry, too.
He didn't have on no socks, either.
He had his head so far up that girl's behind,
He half Cherokee or something. Don't put him in with us.
He is a potentiating progenitor in all kinds of fine ways.
He made me take down my picture of Lola Falana.
He need some serious help. We ain't listenin' to no R. Kelly.
He only won 'cause she helped him.
He opted for the Happy Meal instead of the Super Size.
He seem like he dressed nice, he seems clean, but what is that smell?
He set up the camera. That's what he did!
He's a freak, and I likes me a freaky man.
He's beautiful, isn't he?
He's Caublinasian, like Tiger Woods.
He's my fine friend, this brother right here, Calvin.
He's not even showing up.
He's the poster child for stupid white men.
Head to your meeting 'cause I got next.
Heaven must have sent you from above
Hello.
Here he comes.
Here you go, girl. We should have kids
Here's your shit. I burned the rest of it.
Hey, babe!
Hey, Big C, where you headed?
Hey, bro, we're closed.
Hey, Calvin, why don't you get me a little shape up?
Hey, Calvin, you goin' over to Emma's?
Hey, Detective. We was just lookin' for you.
Hey, Dinka.
Hey, Isaac, play somethin'.
Hey, Keisha. Where Janelle at?
Hey, man, get these clippers goin', player.
Hey, Rick, you handled that deposit for me?
Hey, what's up, y'all?
Hi.
Hi.
Hidin' behind some tattoos and a prison record.
His fade was a little crooked, though.
Hold it! Get off him, pig!
Hold on there, Terri.
Hold on. Where the hell is my uterus?
Hold up.
Hold, now. Don't start talkin' about R. Kelly.
Hot as hell, but I got some nice hats.
How am I gonna look rollin' up in your freak mobile?
How are we supposed to know everybody's name?
How can you leave Chicago?
How is everything going for you
How is that not knowing you?
How you been, Cal?
How you doin', Checker?
How you doin', sir?
How you doin'? Calvin Palmer.
How you gonna be a pedophile with a Ferris wheel?
How you gonna leave town without givin' my ring back?
How you gonna talk about size when you one Reese's Pieces away
How'd you get with a girl like that?
Hurry up.
I ain't a politician.
I ain't got nothin' on my elbow.
I ain't mad at the brother.
I ain't sayin' nothin'. I'm thinkin' it.
I ain't scared! Get your auntie!
I ain't seen you in two days.
I ain't tryin' to clown, but...
I ain't want you, Calvin. What about you?
I ain't with that shit.
I appreciate the job, cuz. I'll always love you for it.
I ate two of them at a party one night,
I been 35 years chasin' after you.
I bet that link don't make it on the inside.
I can buy my own damn latte.
I can get anything you need.
I can't afford that down payment. I'm gonna have to move.
I can't believe this.
I can't cut without the butt.
I can't talk about Luther Vandross?
I checked it already. Let's crack it.
I couldn't tell nobody I was studying for the fuckin' GED.
I did not get fired.
I do not need a man to make me feel good.
I do what Calvin need me to do every now and then.
I don't care about your vampire hours as long as you do what I ask.
I don't even know what it means.
I don't ever see him wear one of those bowties.
I don't know about that. Dan Quayle couldn't spell potato.
I don't know this woman.
I don't pay rent 'cause I don't pay rent. Okay?
I don't want it to fight the funk of the neighborhood.
I don't want it.
I finished barber school on Wednesday,
I got a question.
I got a reputation to keep up around here.
I got a sword, I got an ax, a box of bullets,
I got contact lenses... blue, green, bloodshot red... left ones only.
I got Grandmas Gone Wild. You ever seen wrinkles in a thong?
I got to get back at her.
I got what they call that savoir faire.
I got you, playboy.
I got you.
I gotta go.
I had a black one, but the bitch didn't knowwhen to keep her mouth shut.
I had a cockroach in my house so big, I thought it was Shaq.
I had a member of my family killed.
I hate you! I'm gonna tell my auntie.
I have a very healthy metabolism.
I haven't felt like this since I met my wife's pops.
I heard they got fish in the floor, swimming.
I heard they was gonna move a Subway over there.
I hope not. You know I got jokes. Don't you start nothin'.
I just couldn't control it. It was the lactose intoleration.
I just want him to have everything I never had.
I keep my stuff with me, okay? I cut you.
I kind of liked the old Terri before all the changes.
I knew you was gonna say that. Give me some.
I know how to cook.
I know what this is. You're tryin' to compete with us.
I know you about to say something. Don't even say it.
I know you ain't... Don't get in my pool.
I know you not gonna let him put them pictures up,
I know you're supposed to be the superstar,
I know.
I know. This is must see TV. It's gonna be good.
I like hanging with you.
I love you, cuz. I love you, man.
I might be a little hungry, but get your hands up!
I need my money on the first, not the second and not the 15th.
I need my rent money. The bank want they money on the first.
I need to find a new tenor.
I own Calvin's Barbershop over on 79th.
I plan to die here.
I really admire that.
I really think it's time for us to move along.
I respect that, too.
I said play like you cuttin' it.
I said the same thing.
I saw the tape. Y'all see the tape?
I see you every day...
I should've known you was out here actin' a fool.
I should've known your old ass was startin' trouble.
I talked him into talking to you... good publicity.
I thought it'd be a good day to walk and see the trees and dew.
I thought this was a club. What is Nappy Cutz?
I treat you like everybody else around here.
I tried to have some of them little, bitty Milky Ways... the small one.
I undervalued the importance of your shop to this community.
I wanna talk to you. I feel bad.
I wanted to bring to your attention a particular concern of mine.
I was gonna say the same thing to you.
I was hoping so,
I was mad when I found out dude was black.
I will confront all of those forces that are trying to change,
I won't knock the spear out of yours, okay, Somalia?
I'd like to say somethin'.
I'd say the reason I come back in day in and day out
I'll be back.
I'll be right with you.
I'll drop you off around the corner.
I'll get at you tomorrow.
I'll probably stop by Montgomery Ward's,
I'll take some chili fries, onion rings,
I'll tell y'all one thing... all y'all are doomed to fail.
I'll tell you who I don't want to take credit for... that D.C. Sniper.
I'll touch you up.
I'm about to be Rookie of the Year up in here.
I'm being a man.
I'm done with that in my life.
I'm down with trying out.
I'm flying back to L.A. Tonight. How about it?
I'm gonna get on out of here. I need to go check on Loretta.
I'm gonna kick your ass,
I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna run down to Berry's, get me a pastrami and fries.
I'm gonna tell you what the problem is.
I'm happy you got it goin' on now, but I need some ice.
I'm in your pool.
I'm inviting heads of state today.
I'm just saying we need to step it up a little bit.
I'm looking to get high end stuff at low end prices.
I'm not asking you for a whole lot, just to...
I'm not lactose intolerant, all right?
I'm not saying we made out of money.
I'm proposing a win win.
I'm proposing that Nappy Cutz never sees the light of day.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. You make sure she get that, okay?
I'm talkin' about a good man.
I'm tellin' you, every last one of them's gonna get shot!
I'm terribly sorry about the inconvenience.
I'm trying. Kenard, let him in.
I'm with you, brother. We goin' back to Africa.
I've been bringin' in a lot of business.
I've been coming down here many a Saturday afternoon,
I've been lookin' for your ass for 35 years.
I've seen this many times. They come and they go.
If he learns to do what I say when I say it.
If I had to choose me a white boy to sleep with,
If I was in the White House, I'd be fly all the time.
If I was in the White House, I'd be fly all the time.
If that means selling our soul just to make a quick buck,
If the police walk up, do I gotta drop it and run?
If they build a titty bar across the street, I ain't never goin' home.
If we goin' out, we goin' out like us.
If you don't knock the fork out of my hand,
If you don't think big, you'll never be big.
If you got that much love for me, tell Janelle to give me my rent
If you wanna stay afloat,
If you want to stay around, y'all know what you gotta do.
If you was in the White House, you'd be ghetto as hell.
If you were to express to them
In fact, the alderman and I were just talking about you.
In Memphis, Tennessee.
In November, I plan to establish this barbershop as my headquarters.
In that case, triple it, then.
In the Dumpster with the rest of that mess.
In this difficult day,
In this difficult time for the United States,
Is in need of counsel, and I have to provide it.
Is Lalowe Brown the only politician in Chicago?
Is openin' up in three weeks,
Is the free chair.
Is there a point to this?
Is there a problem, officers?
Is there anyone else who'd like to be heard on this matter?
Is well needed and well deserved.
Is you living in the dark ages or something?
Isaac, run to the store and grab me some ice.
It ain't necessary to cut nobody head.
It all makes sense.
It is 11:02. That means your man has to get out of the chair.
It is the word of Allah as told to the Prophet Muhammad.
It looks to me like the village has spoken.
It means you give a damn about your life.
It should have never happened. I didn't mean to hurt you.
It was nice and quiet in here, the way I like it.
It'd be a nice kick start to your kid's college fund.
It'd be a shame to see it all go away for naught.
It'll put you in like Flynn.
It's a franchise, the black man's answer to Supercuts.
It's a probationary period.
It's a rout.
It's about time for me to retire anyway.
It's an issue of vital importance and it'll only take a minute.
It's been cool.
It's embarrassing.
It's good. The alderman is a great mentor.
It's hard being that good, ain't it?
It's just not fair for your date.
It's killin' me, man. I just gotta know for myself.
It's not a coffee. It's a chai with soy.
It's not a competition.
It's not what you think.
It's not worth it.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. Just a minor setback.
It's one of them things you can't keep!
It's perhaps well to ask what kind of a nation we are...
It's Richard at work and Big Daddy in the bedroom.
It's the bikini waxes that I love...
It's the goddamn Fourth of July.
It's the people.
It's the professionalism that is bestowed upon me
It's times like these when men must rise up and make the right choice.
Jennifer Beals. What the boy mama used to be on The Jeffersons?
Jesus wept.
Jimmy! What's the deal?
Just a little while ago, he was cuttin' hair.
Just because I don't own it don't mean it's not mine.
Just burgers and dogs, free haircuts for the kids.
Just close the back door when you leave.
Just hush. Everything was hush.
Just kickin' it.
Just like her.
Just swimmin' around.
Just talk.
Just the man I wanted to see. Come back and talk to me.
K Rod called and booked the spot after that,
Keep telling yourself that.
Kenard ain't doin' nothin'.
Kenard here is one of our prima donna barbers.
Kenard, just a little off the top.
Kenard, them Jet beauties, they got to go, man.
Kenard. Hold up. Dude, look...
Kick it in!
Kind of nice in there?
Kobe Bryant... everybody thought he was Mr. Goody Two shoes.
Lalowe Brown. Good to see you.
Lalowe's gonna have to come back and let you give me a little trim.
Last week I had me a milk bath.
Late night of creepin'?
Learn how to cook.
Leave my customers alone.
Let me ask you... is this the life you wanted?
Let me drive you to work.
Let me tell you all somethin'.
Let me tell you somethin'.
Let's get this thing over with.
Let's go.
Let's make it happen!
Lighten up.
Like a Bally's or a Jamba Juice.
Like all the gangs coming together.
Like I was sayin', if they build a titty bar across the street,
Like it or not, and we ain't havin' it.
Line me up. I got a meeting in 19 minutes.
Listen to what I got to say.
Listen, Cal...
Listen, I'm not lactose intolerant.
Listen, little man, I got a daddy. I don't need another one.
Listen, when 24/7 opens, I'd love to buy you a latte.
Listen, you know how it is, all right?
Little Moesha tryin' to criticize my culinary skill.
Little Rodney probably heard it from somebody
Little Rodney told you he sawfish in the floor.
Lock the door! Click.
Long as they ain't buildin' liquor stores and titty bars, I'm cool with it.
Look a little shady to me.
Look at all the people. Let me in.
Look at that.
Look at the couches, man, and the lighting.
Look at you. Lord have mercy.
Look at you... your shirt's still smokin'.
Look like a gingerbread man.
Look what we got... we got a lady barber.
Look, all I know is I'm down with Jesus.
Look, Cal, it's nappy cutz. Com.
Look, I know she bad. That's why you come to me.
Look, Jesus is not white.
Look, man, all that's fine. I'm trying to help you.
Lookin' around, it's a nice shop, but it don't have no character.
Lookin' good, baby boy!
Lookin' good, Mr. Stewart. Now you can get your swerve on.
Looking like Joe Frazier in Jamaica.
Looks like you gonna have a little brother or sister.
Loud and angry all the time?
Make him hush puppies or a Spanish omelet.
Make sure she look like something
Man, and Luther Vandross.
Man, I feel all of that.
Man, I hope you hittin' that!
Man, I'm from the South Side.
Man, the smell that come out of there,
Man. I wish my brother Darnell was out.
Martha and Mary, they cried over his body.
Maybe the day after.
Me and my girlfriend's husband got in a fight.
Me? No, I haven't seen a thi...
Mia!
Michael Jackson... his problem is he got a Ferris wheel.
Mike Tyson... he's like three crazy people.
Minor.
Miss Emma, is somethin' wrong?
Money to get their hair did, and you lookin' like Chewbacca.
More money than I'd ever seen. I jumped at it.
Move it! Out of the way!
Must have sent you, baby
My bad, brother. I skipped you.
My boys up in Memphis go to Nappy Cut.
My chair open. Come on.
My customer's running late, so I can take you.
My goodness, my goodness.
My name is Calvin Palmer.
My truth is across the street.
My, my. Well, well, look at this.
Naomi!
Nappy Cutz won't know what hit 'em.
Nappy Necks, whatever they want to call theyself across the street,
Nation of Islam is more than a pork free diet.
Needless to say, I doubt very seriously if the alderman
Nice to meet you. How you doin'?
Nice.
No disrespect, Cal, but I've been bustin' my ass in there for you.
No more loud talking.
No thief.
No, baby, that ain't burnt.
No, he opted for less drama.
No, I didn't hear it? Are you trying to call me a liar?
No, I quit on principle. Politics ain't my thing.
No, I'd rather stand.
No, my friend, you're thinking about this all the wrong way.
No, you can play ball down the street.
No, you can't.
No, you can't.
No, you stay here.
No!
No.
No. Come on, Hank!
No. No, I don't.
No. The answer's no.
Not $5 coffees and $20 mugs.
Not have your anger work through you.
Not right now, okay?
Not the second, 'cause I'm not the bad guy here.
Not to throw salt, but why you don't pay no booth rent?
Nothin' to worry about. They ain't even real Chicago barbers.
Nothing a little prayer can't handle, or my pistol.
Nothing.
Now watch this. Balance. No. Balance.
Now, his Christmas album was tight.
Now, I know you ain't payin' that nappy n**** no heed.
Now, I'm not one for explanations, explanatory things explained.
Now, it's obvious the way she bein' raised,
Now, that's a nice piece of pocket change.
Now, that's a nice piece of pocket change.
Now, we're South Side people with South Side money,
Now, you know I helped raise you better than that.
Nowhere. Just got a little business to handle.
Of course we got one for you. Kenard! Kenard!
Oh, baby.
Oh, God.
Oh, I can keep a man. I can keep a man.
Oh, I can keep a man. I can keep a man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. Pick up my meat.
Oh, yeah, Eddie be fine.
Oh, yeah. She want one of Uncle Eddie's burgers.
Oh, yes, there she goes.
Okay, it's my bad. It's my bad.
Okay, okay. What's up, brother?
Okay, so it's herbal. Yeah, it's herbal.
Okay, that's gonna be three orders of Hell, no
Okay. I gotta go, Miss Emma.
Okay. I see where you're trying to go with it.
On 79th and Exchange.
On July 4, 1967, when I came through that back door
On the bus.
One of the leading institutions, like a torpedo moving towards the future.
One thing you're gonna constantly have to deal with in your life,
One, two, three.
Only business on the block to survive the riots of '68.
Only reason you're in here is 'cause your daddy didn't use a Life Style.
Ooh, I met Shaniqua in the strip club last night.
Open the door. We gotta talk about this.
Or did you ever think you could do better?
Or shall I say scalping?
Pay attention.
People don't care about institutions. They got fish in the floor.
People don't like that. You're too pretty.
Pick up a TV, washer and dryer, lamps.
Picture and picture.
Piece of shit, my ass.
Please stop.
Please. He's a clown.
Please. That girl got perm in her family.
Plus, the money isn't bad.
Power to the people!
Prince?
Put a little timer on it... tick, tick, tick, boom!
Put one of them links on.
Put that paper back up.
Put the ball down.
Put them rollers in. I might like that.
Quality Land Development buyin' up everything.
Quality Land Development came in and made me an offer.
Quality Land Development's proposal to tear up 79th
Quiet. Okay.
R. Kelly on tape with grown women.
Raised you like you was my own son.
Raised? Maybe if you stopped raising your hand to your mouth,
Ray!
Reach one, teach one. Remember that.
Remember that.
Rich, where you at, man?
Richard and I are just friends.
Ricky, before you even say anything, I need you to know
Right on.
Right. They won't know what hit 'em.
Right. They won't know what hit 'em.
Ring a player, you know?
Rule number one... no more profanity.
Rule number two... don't be late.
Saddam, Osama, all of them livin' in a big old beach house
See that brother over there?
Shawna is a nice woman, but I don't know if she's the one for me.
She ain't tryin' to hear nothin' about no Nation of Islam.
She ain't weavin' it up like most of y'all in here.
She headed straight for the peniten sherary.
She just had a pork chop.
She throwin' it at you, dawg. What's up with that?
She'd have the president all corn rowed out,
She's back.
She's talking about moving back to Georgia.
Shit, man, them fools crazy.
Shoot!
Shoot. I just wanted to barbecue.
Shouldn't we do something about that?
Show the people we care about 'em.
Show them that whatever they goin' through,
Showyou what to do with this.
Shut up, Dinka.
Shut up!
Since y'all wanna be funny, no rap before 12:00 now.
Sir, I am very nice to black people, okay?
Sir.
Sit on down, West Wing.
Sleeping around behind somebody's back,
So I'd be sad if somethin' was to ever happen to this place.
So I'm against the proposed Quality Land development project
So if y'all wanna sell and go down to Florida
So keep your mouth shut before I punch you in it.
So my plan is this.
So pour out your cup of haterade and sop it up off the floor
So some change on 79th
So that's why Jesus wept.
So we can bring 'em down to this barbecue Friday.
So you coming to bed?
So? And she was white, too.
So...
Something we need on the South Side.
Sorry. Did I wake you?
Sorry. Once you a customer, can't have no relations.
Speaking of Muslims, is Ahmad Rashad Muslim?
Stop playin'.
Stop!
Stop. Say grace first.
Store run.
Sure. We're just finishing up our last customer.
Take care of yourself.
Take the little one, too. You got to take the little one.
Take this right up here, put it on the door,
Talking about, U.S., fool. U.S., fool.
Taxi!
Tell her my niece sent her a graduation picture Friday.
Tell them, Eddie.
Ten chairs with every amenity the African American male desires.
Terri, I really ain't been myself lately.
Terri, if you wanna be down,
Terri, we work together. We need to have a conversation.
Thank you, Brother Calvin.
Thank you, Calvin.
Thank you, Dinka. They look great.
Thank you, Isaac.
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Palmer.
Thanks for what you're doing. We appreciate it.
That ain't nothin'.
That are trying to make things happen.
That aroma is kind of gettin' to me.
That boy's in love with you, girl.
That crime took planning. Not only planning, it took math.
That is one right there. That's delicious.
That little girl is nasty!
That means it's my time, and I'm not havin' it.
That mess ain't right. I want my rent money on the first.
That Nemo tape I got for my son has a crack deal on it.
That nice Terri routine? Ain't nobody fallin' for that.
That pork be callin' me, too.
That Ricky, he's the man.
That thug gangta player bullshit is over for me.
That Web site don't mean nothin', Cal, man.
That's a fake, franchise, corporate version of a barbershop.
That's a little rough.
That's all for one day. Take baby steps.
That's barbecue.
That's crazy!
That's how family supposed to do for each other.
That's how family supposed to do.
That's how I feel when I look at people like Hank Tolliver
That's me right there lookin' at you.
That's me, man?
That's my bad.
That's my friend! That's my friend!
That's not a real barbershop.
That's perfect for me 'cause maybe you'll quit.
That's Rick's.
That's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous. I can't believe you said that.
That's right, brother!
That's right, brother.
That's right!
That's right! Very good!
That's right.
That's right.
That's smart. That's good thinking.
That's that Picassio stuff right there.
That's the good news.
That's the kind of man your father was.
That's tight.
That's what I thought.
That's what I'm talkin' about. Money, money, money!
That's what it sounded like.
That's what you need. Go on.
That's white folk shit right there.
That's why I got to raise your booth rent.
That's why I'm not sellin' out...
The alderman's taking a walking tour of the block
The barbershop. How you doin'? Lalowe Brown.
The best barber in the state of Illinois.
The best barber on this rock we call Earth.
The best chair in the shop.
The city council meeting is tomorrow.
The D.C. Sniper is like the Jackie Robinson of crime.
The funny thing is I never saw it that way.
The future is not what it used to be. Remember that.
The institutional possibilities of black hair.
The key to enlightenment is to work through your anger,
The last woman you slept with was battery operated.
The man who quantifies and epitomizes
The minty kind. Minty freshness.
The money isn't bad.
The news?
The news?
The next time you come back, I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.
The next time you snatch some food out of my niece's hand,
The next time you want to call yourself
The one with the I cut in the back?
The president would be a thug.
The privileged white boy do a better job on that fade.
The proposal from Quality Land Development
The question is, what you doin' here?
The real one, not that one in Queens.
The same kind of feeling.
Them clowns at Nappy Cutz, they're not about to take away your business.
Then all of a sudden it's the other half that went looney tunes.
Then all of us is gonna get shot!
Then it's gonna be on like a mother!
Then they gonna start shootin'. Then we gonna start shootin'!
There is a lot of change,
There it is.
There's a guy on the other side of the rig!
There's people over in Ethiopia starvin',
These ain't supposed to be out yet.
These guys fittin' to open a shop on our block?
They ain't got no real character up in there.
They can remember that shit... I mean stuff.
They can take it like anybody else.
They can tear down all this mess around here.
They don't treat barbers like this at Nappy Cutz.
They gonna be hard to spot 'cause they dressed real nice.
They got honeys in bikinis,
They got the Wall Street Journal.
They just freakin' 'em. Freakin' em all, boy.
They make it totally unaffordable
They might want that back.
They said it's off the chain.
They tryin' to make money on a brother.
They wanna make this funky little place into a co op.
They're building a cineplex there and they're making us an offer.
They're gonna lock your ass up for talkin' like that.
They're gonna take all our customers.
They're my inspiration, my muses.
They're opening a Nappy Cutz across the street.
Think need, not speed.
This ain't about white folks comin' back.
This ain't no community center.
This ain't right.
This boy is gonna be the governor of the state of Illinois one day
This could be a shitload of money for the whole district.
This is a cornerstone of the black community
This is about personal enhancement, personal growth.
This is Calvin's Barbershop.
This is Eddie. I ain't scared of nothin'.
This is gonna be great for the neighborhood.
This is like Ocean's Eleven. This is my kind of stuff.
This is like the world coming together,
This is not about Nappy Cutz.
This is not happening. We got an appointment.
This is the joint, B! Look at this.
This is what a barbershop's supposed to look like.
This is why I love this community,
This meeting is over.
This one get channels 2 through 5, and this one get 9 through 13.
This place is nice!
This used to be my chair.
This was the scene today at 79th and Exchange
This whole block is gonna get upgrades.
This would double, triple your business.
This'll be the first one in Chicago.
Those are nice girls?
Thought I'd add a little style to the place.
Tight!
Tighten myself up.
To cheat on you and slap you around?
To find
To find a love like ours
To have a savior who looks like Kenny G?
To let the constituency know that he's concerned.
To shoot from the back of an automobile.
Top of the line.
Turn that mess off.
Twist it... pop!
Two bags.
Two seconds, two seconds.
Up in here like you're from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
Use your head.
Use your head.
Usually the broker they are.
Vamoose. Come on, let's go.
Very nice shirt on you.
Vote Lalowe Brown.
Wadin' in the water
Wait a minute now, Calvin.
Wait a minute. No.
Was sitting at that front seat and nobody was feeling you.
Was that...
Watch what you say 'cause I'm holdin' the clippers.
We ain't gonna do nothin' but show up with our guns!
We ain't got one of these.
We came a long road to get here.
We can get through this.
We can't compete with you.
We can't lose you, Miss Emma.
We closed. Go across the street and get your hair cut.
We could bypass all the stress if you would sell it to me now.
We didn't have this back in the day.
We down with them.
We found a place to be today.
We gonna be all right. We gonna be fine.
We gonna find out today.
We got character, we got conversation, and we got...
We got competition on the block.
We got Nappy Cutz on Crenshaw. Love it.
We got to pay for this somehow.
We got to...
We gotta realize that people make this community,
We have reached a unanimous decision.
We heard something...
We just gotta step up our game.
We might be able to get down there. I don't know if we gonna get up.
We need to know where his ass is at all times. He racist!
We need to talk to you, Calvin.
We on TV, man.
We should be honoring the man's memory, we shouldn't be doing this.
We will continue to provide books and classes,
We will not be silenced.
We?
We'd be all over each other again, and don't nobody want that.
We'll see.
We'll take a brief recess and we'll come back with our decision.
We're about to get punked by Nappy Cutz.
We're going to be more family friendly around here,
We're not breakin' in. I will not allow it.
We're running short on ice.
We're running short on time. If we could speed this up?
We're thinking about taking that offer.
We've been approached by Quality Land Development.
We've been there since '58.
Well, about your business.
Well, Calvin, you know, if I was a bettin' man,
Well, he actually didn't see the fish in the floor,
Well, I know these are tough times for you, cuz.
Well, I'll be da...
Well, if it ain't Lalowe Sharpton.
Well, it's free enterprise. This is America.
Well, Jimmy, first chair is open.
Well, Mr. Brown, as you know, there is a lot of change...
Well, they're feeling me now.
Well, when Lazarus died,
Well, who's the best, then, youngblood?
Well, why can't I have another one?
What about you? Look at that damn 'fro.
What are you doing here?
What black man do you take credit for?
What Calvin needs you to do is get off your fat ass and cut some heads.
What did slick head n**** want?
What do you want?
What does she gotta have both of them for?
What happened between me and Terri was foul.
What have you done?
What in the world you people thinkin' about?
What is all that Circus Dee Soleil that you're doin'?
What is it, a uterus?
What is this, a warrant?
What is this, a warrant?
What kind of coffee is that?
What kind of man treat a little girl that way?
What the hell goin' on?
What the hell he do?
What the hell keeps you comin' back here every day?
What the hell's going on here?
What the hell's the matter with you?
What we need in the United States...
What you be doin', sweepin' up the shop with it?
What you doin'?
What you gonna do about it, then?
What you know about a brother needing a job?
What you thinkin'?
What you tryin' to say?
What you want, a roughneck
What you want, man?
What?
What?
What?
What?!
What'd you do, get me some handicapped plates?
What'd you do, hit the lotto?
What'd you see in here tonight, Calvin? Nothing.
What'd you see tonight?
What's goin' on?
What's going on here? Look at you.
What's going on?
What's happenin'?
What's it like working for Alderman Brown?
What's that got to do with me? You got your mind made up.
What's the matter?
What's the problem? What's the problem?
What's up, Cal?
What's up, Cal?
What's up, dawg? I don't get the I?
What's up, girlfriend?
What's up, man?
What's up, player? How you feelin'? All right.
What's up, Shawna?
What's up, Tyson? Free barbecue this Friday.
What's up?
What's your role, watching ESPN and holding your shit all day?
When I come into Nappy Cutz that I appreciate.
When Jesus sawtheir pain,
When the bank forecloses, I'm gonna buy your shop
When the FBI gassed the Black Panthers out,
When they dropped their Filet O Fish on the floor.
When what you should be doin' is apologizing
When you get back here, you better tell me why Jesus wept.
Where you goin'?
Which one? Right here?
Who can argue with progress?
Who heard it from somebody else who was at Nappy Cutz
Who is this orphan?
Who set this up? This shit ain't funny.
Who the one for you? Terri?
Who's been chewing on this thing? It look like Holyfield's ear.
Who's next? Come on.
Why did Jesus weep?
Why didn't you say anything?
Why didn't you say anything?
Why do you have a schedule if you ain't gonna use it?
Why don't you go find out?
Why don't you just let me fade you up?
Why every time I come in here, you start up with me?
Why should we?
Why what?
Why?
Will be frequenting Calvin's Barbershop anytime soon.
Win win.
With all this social change happening down here?
With an ugly, fat white girl with low self esteem, lock the door.
With the problems we got, black folks used to could say,
With the scissors and everything?
With your finger.
Without any interference from me or from anyone else.
Would you know me if I shoved my foot up your ass?
Write a report and have it on my desk by the end of the month.
Y'all goin' broke around this mug. Boy, I swear.
Y'all got all the jobs.
Y'all hurry up.
Y'all just clownin' up in here.
Y'all just mad 'cause she got a little Indian in her family.
Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!
Yeah, I got a son.
Yeah, I guess 30 and some change.
Yeah, I know all about it.
Yeah, I will, man. Don't worry about me.
Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant. I go near a cow,
Yeah, man, but I asked you.
Yeah, okay. All right. Enjoy yourself, Low below.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, that's why they call me Slim Fadin'.
Yeah, this is integration right here.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. We're looking for a thief. You seen one?
Yep, sold it. Time for early retirement.
Yep. White folk is coming back.
Yes, indeed. All right.
Yes, sir. No problem.
Yes! Hey, y'all!
Yo, Big C, explain him.
You a grown man!
You a superstar now? The Eminem of the barber world?
You admire me? You got back together with Kevin, didn't you?
You ain't had your hair cut till...
You ain't had your hair cut till...
You ain't supposed to air our dirty laundry like that. We on TV.
You all know why I called this meeting.
You bad girl!
You be safe out there.
You been going to church
You better be, especially me.
You broke into Nappy Cutz?
You can be a stupid white man and get elected president. Twice!
You can do it. Come on, now. All right!
You can get it fried, baked, sautéed, sushi...
You can look me up on the Internet, www. cut a mother. com.
You can play ball up in here, man.
You can read a calendar. You know she called in sick.
You can say that again.
You can tell whoever you want to.
You can't believe everything. The media likes to spin stuff.
You can't do that.
You can't fry none of that, though.
You can't kill no big Yaphet Kotto looking Zulu ****a.
You can't rush the best, Jimmy.
You come in here some days
You come up to my shop today
You comin' at me with too much.
You could pick a fish out, get it baked, broiled,
You could take your wife on down to Jamaica.
You couldn't go home if you wanted to.
You don't find it odd, as a black woman,
You don't need to be slippin' and slidin' and hidin'.
You don't need to watch it.
You done gone too goddamn far.
You ever been to Arizona?
You gonna have to cool it on these extra activities.
You got a 'fro! You can't be gettin' the I cut in the back.
You got a little somethin' right there. Get that.
You got a little somethin' right there. Get that.
You got a lot of nerve charging these sisters out here
You got me? My man.
You got me.
You got one more time to tell me to shut up.
You got something smaller? I don't got change.
You gotta get out of the chair. Eight Mile gave me this time exactly.
You gotta think about if you on a date
You guys aren't celebrating the holiday?
You just be happy gettin' that bad boy out of park.
You just relax, Down low.
You know I got love for you.
You know that should have been your baby.
You know that's ridiculous.
You know what else you could do? You get a half pound of C 4,
You know what one of your problems is?
You know what your problem is?
You know what?
You know what?
You know what? He probably was mad
You know what? I'm gone. Have fun.
You know what? You right about that, Checkers.
You know what? You right about that, Checkers.
You know you got fired.
You know you know me.
You know, it took math to figure out all them trajectories
You know, like Tiger Woods... we claim him.
You know, this is gonna be yours one day... all of this.
You know, your daddy used to like to play with those, too.
You let Lalowe lay it down for you.
You look good.
You look pretty, too.
You make sure she get that and tell her Uncle Eddie's sorry.
You make sure she get that and tell her Uncle Eddie's sorry.
You mean like with a receipt legally? Like I ain't steal it.
You mother...
You must be a lot like me. You lactose intolerant.
You need anything?
You need to let that go. That's not gonna happen.
You on that bullshit. Go find out.
You remember that.
You right, too much love.
You should be proud.
You should see her when I'm drinkin'.
You should've asked me, someone more dependable.
You sound just like your daddy right now.
You sound just like your daddy right now.
You stalking me?
You standin' on top of them.
You still got that mattress on the floor?
You tell it, sister!
You the man. Your shop is legendary.
You thought it was Groundhog Day.
You tryin' to get something started?
You understand probation, don't you?
You up early. They fumigating your crib again?
You wanna know my name, right?
You want to know what's in there.
You wouldn't look like Shamu of the South Side.
You'd think she could afford herself a makeover.
You're always coming in late. You leave early.
You're feelin' yourself way too much.
You're just my baby. Yes, he is.
You're making a mistake, bro.
You're startin' to get on my nerves.
You're startin' to get on my nerves.
You're starting to cross the line. Relax yourself.
You're through. You know that, don't you?
You've been livin' here, like, what?
Young man, you're on your own.
Your barbershop will continue to thrive
Your business will be closed in six months, seven at the most.
Your cell called the house, and I heard all two minutes of it.
Your daddy told me I ain't never have to pay for my chair again.
Your minute is up, son.
Your old chair is open. Quiet as it's kept.
Your precious love
Your shop is a neighborhood institution.
Your voice could be the determining factor.
... before 11:00 at the club. That's what it was.
'Cause he was sad. Why was he sad?
And Idi Amin over there, too. I thought he...
And this. Watch your mouth, girl.
And you that man? Could be.
Any messages? Yes, sir. A whole stack.
Apple juice? What's going on here?
Appreciate your business. All right, Calvin.
Be cool, now. Shut up, Calvin.
Beautiful shoes. Thank you, Dinka.
Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton?
Bring me back a sweet potato pie. I ain't bringing you back nothin'.
Can I fix you a plate, Dinka? No, I'm trying to watch it.
Change the subject. Exactly.
Come here, girl. No, you come here.
Damage anything? No.
Did Jennifer call you? I spoke to her this morning.
Do I look like Gina Cleaver? Hell, no.
Don't even think about it. That's what I told 'em.
Don't make me chase your ass again. I like when you chase me.
Don't mess with my conk. You want a barbecue?
Don't tell me you quit. What was I supposed to do?
Don't try to hustle me. No hustle.
Eddie, get out of there! No!
Eddie, where the hot wings? I tried to tell 'em.
Get him. Sit your ass down!
Get out of the way, fool! I can't wait for you.
Get your butt over here. No, you come here.
Good morning, Alderman. Good morning.
Good morning, Maggie. Good morning, sir.
Good morning, sir. Good morning, Jimmy.
Good morning. What's up, D?
Good morning. Good morning. Alderman Brown's office.
Grow up, be a real man. Why you even care?!
Have a seat. Thank you, sir.
He ain't got no gun. You think I ain't got a gun?
He ain't the best. He ain't ask you, man.
Help a brother out. We goin' to jail.
Hey there, Calvin. Hey, Calvin.
Hey, Calvin. Good morning.
Hey, watch it! Move!
Hold on, Gina. Oh, shit.
How about a nice Quo Vadis? What'd you do to my head?
How are you doing? All right.
How much they offer you? Not enough.
How you doin', son? All right.
I can't talk about Luther Vandross? No!
I didn't know you was workin'. Come holler at me.
I had some... Some bullshit to do.
I just been busy. Doin' what?
I see you. So why you treatin' me like a scrub?
I sold the cleaners. What?
I think he was set up. He was set up.
I'd have to say Mini Me. Mini Me?
I'd like a moment if you have it. I don't. This faithful constituent
I'll bet. It's true.
I'm not gonna eat it. You sure ain't.
Is that right? I'll turn it into a nightclub.
Is that right? Yeah. It's about the truth.
It was just a misunderstanding. Ain't no misunderstanding.
It's her six foot Pocahontas weave. That's what it is.
It's huge! Size isn't everything.
It's my first day. Why, Calvin?
Jimmy, hold it there. All right.
Just keep it. You ain't got to tell me twice.
Just let him in, Big C. Don't let him in.
Just wanna talk. Ain't nothin' to say.
Kenard. Yeah.
Kenny G? That's right.
King shit. They just clippers.
Lenny Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz... count him.
Let Kenard cut your hair. Hold on, hold on.
Let me ask you something. What?
Man, why you trippin' back there? Why you frontin', man?
Me and you cool, all right? Yeah, we cool.
Mornin', fellas. Mornin', young fellow.
Move, Eddie! No!
No, no, not around here. No, me, either.
No. What?
On my block? It's just an alternative.
Open up! It's the police! Sweet Jesus.
Quentin! Hey, Calvin.
Respect, man. All right, respect.
Sarah? Terri.
sautéed, sushied, all that. Fondued?
Shoot me, goddamn it! I'll shoot you.
Shut up. I heard that.
Survival of the fittest. Says the privileged white boy.
Take care, man. No problem.
Tell it, Lo. That's right.
That was beautiful, man. Thanks.
That was him! It looked like him.
That was him. You don't know.
That would change my mind. Absolutely.
That's kind of true. Shut up, Calvin.
That's pleather. It's leather.
That's what you should be doing. Lalowe.
There's nothing to discuss. Dinka, I messed up.
They fired you? No, no.
This is leather. Word?
Thug love! Thug love! It was not like that.
Trim? A haircut.
We back, Big C? Yup.
We can't leave him out there. Then let him in.
we will find a way to survive. Tell it!
What about them bitches you roll with? Watch your mouth.
What about Vin Diesel? I don't know what he is. Half car.
What are they going to put in? A Kinko's or something.
What is he talking about? Dinka, it wasn't like that.
What was you thinkin'? You're right, man.
What you doin' here? He got fired.
What you doin' here? He got fired.
What you jumping for? I ain't know what you was comin' with.
What? This. You being nice to me?
What? What?
What'd you do to that little girl? I ain't do nothin' to her.
What's happenin', y'all? What's goin' on?
What's he gonna say? Shut up. Shut up.
What's up, Cal? Yo, Isaac.
What's up, Samir? Not much.
What's your name? Terri.
Whatever. You quit?
Where do you want it? Right here.
Where your skills at? This ain't the time.
Who can do me? Not me, I got carpal tunnel.
Who is it? It's Rick.
Who told you that? Little Rodney at the shop.
Who you tellin' to shut up? You.
Why not? 'Cause that's silly.
Why you always lyin' on me? Ain't nobody lyin' on you.
Why you even sweatin' it, Cal? That Web site's been in my head.
Why's she gotta be a bitch? Why you gotta get up on me?
Y'all know I can't do that. Why not?
Y'all see Calvin baby boy? Hey, Coley.
Yeah, I saw the tape. How that boy gonna say it ain't him?
Yeah. Let's take a picture. Thank you, brother.
You ain't changed. You ain't, either.
You come here. No, you come here.
You could've asked me first. I know.
You don't even pay no rent. What?
You don't know everything. I know enough.
You don't make this shop. I have lately.
You feel me? I feel you, Calvin.
You finally got a day off? I quit.
You got a chair for me? Yeah, right here.
You have 59 seconds. Thank you.
You hungry, brother? Do I look hungry? Get over there!
You keep it. Cal, you gotta get this little one.
You know I can. Legally.
You know what I mean? Damn straight.
You take anything? No.
You the best? No doubt. Isaac Rosenberg.
You think she want a link? She want a link.
You're bitter. I'm through, is what I am.
Your skills is limited. My skills are limited?
...just talk.
...like some people I know.
...of populist politics.
...some very sad news for all of you,
...you gonna have to rock the boat.
'cause I heard all of your little shit.
'cause I knew that's all you wanted.
'Cause I know her.
'Cause I've been running around.
'Cause I've been running around.
'cause then I gotta give one back to you.
'cause there's a historical context for every action that takes place here.
'Cause they didn't let him eat his biscuit.
'cause they wouldn't let him put jelly on his biscuit before he left.
'Cause you sure ain't doin' me. Who you doin'?
$200,000.

Viral
Funny