Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004) Soundboard Edit

A Muslim man.

Ain't that right?

All right

All right, Calvin

All right, Calvin.

All that flippity hippity stompity stoobily doo.

All you gotta do is talk

Am I the bad guy here?

And I'm gonna get both of my babies' daddies to jump on that ass!

And trust me, I'm just big enough to do it.

And when they build all this stuff,

And why you look so damn tired?

And you up here sneakin' 'em off,

And your father gave my black ass a break.

Are starting to find the value in our neighborhoods.

At Calvin's Barbershop, we're gonna make this institution

Back to work.

Bad for business.

Balance

Beautiful.

Because it just ain't worth it

Black folks are just as crazy as white folks

Boy!

Calvin, come look.

Calvin, you are a pillar of this fine community

Checker Fred, sir.

Clown.

Come here

Come here, Coley.

Come on, Cal!

Come on, City Hall, show me what you got

Come to find out he ain't have on no shoes.

Did that boy say bestowed upon me?

Dinka, can you hook me up?

Don't be eyeballin' me. You ain't hard. I'm just playin'

Don't let that fool you, 'cause the nicer they dress,

Don't listen to him. You look good, girl.

Don't steal nothin' and don't break nothin'

Don't try the opposite direction thing.

Everything cool?

For the people who live here to stay here.

Freddie Douglass! You old school! Come on.

Get in the car.

Get out of here!

Get that door for little Calvin, Junior.

Give me the big one.

Giving to the needy and the greedy instead of the deserving.

Go on.

God bless

Has been approved.

Have a seat right here. Kenard's chair.

Have a seat.

He used to always call me a hero.

He was a man's man.

Heaven must have sent your precious love

Hello.

Hey, Rick, I'm next with you

Hey, y'all open?

Hold it!

Hold on, hold on now.

Hold up, don't fall apart. Don't fall apart

Horace, thanks, man. I appreciate your coming through.

How come you not playing with Coley?

How's life been treating you?

I ain't have no life before this.

I ain't never goin' home

I can't see diddly.

I didn't mean to insult you. We could probably get five.

I didn't save the shop, Calvin. The shop saved me

I don't even see how you could cheat on me with your toddler penis

I don't know how long we gonna be open.

I don't see no fish in the floor

I hope you had a good time

I know you do. And he will.

I like that whole massage thing.

I think we can squeeze four out of that ass.

I would only say that I can also feel in my own heart

I wouldn't expect you to know what a man is.

I'll stay a little while longer, man.

I'm just gettin' my backpack. Relax.

I'm proud of you.

I'm tired of handing out these fliers, but my cousin say I gotta do it.

I'm tryin' to teach little Sister Souljah here some discipline.

I'm working at Calvin Jr's. Come be my first customer

If I was like Mike, would you like me?

If you got somebody else, then just say it.

It's better to measure a thing ten times and cut once

It's so bad, sometimes I have to set myself outside.

It's ugly.

Just like my parents wanted the best for me.

Kenard.

Kind of raggedy over there. Just a quick touch up.

Late, sleepin' in the locker room,

Let me get some ribs!

Let me tell you something, you old n**** spiritual.

Let's crack it

Like a brother can't get a haircut without trying to play some ball.

Lord have mercy! This is pillow top!

Loretta.

Luther's sick, man.

Most of these businesses coming in are black owned.

Must be nice doing what you said you'd always do

Mustard, hold the mayo.

Mutombo! What'd you shave your head for?

My brother has a nice place out in Arizona.

My nerves bad. I'm light skinned.

Nice to black people?

No, bro, we closed.

No, no, he ain't dead. No, he ain't dead

No, we haven't

No!

Nobody hidin'. This ain't no subterfuge.

Not tell people what I saw here tonight?

Not the second, not... Hold on, let me finish my thought

Not to mention, it could be a nice little windfall for Calvin

Not when you made me take Lola Falana down.

Not you.

Now get your elbow

Now, why you even go there?

Oh, man, they got a basketball court!

Oh, yeah

Okay. You give her that, now.

Our crimes made sense

Our rainbow coalition right here.

Pay Calvin.

Please, man

Please.

Plus, I'm trying to be at peace with myself

Quit it. Quit it.

Real.

Richard.

Ricky, just be a man and let me know.

Runnin' ho's day and night.

Same way I got here.

See you tomorrow.

Serve you right.

She fine.

She got to snappin' her neck around,

She think a head of state's a sexual position

She's not here yet. Hey, boo

Silent whisper engine. Listen

Sir, do you know why Jesus wept?

Sir, I think we should move faster than that.

So if I had to say, I would deny

Stew sold him his cleaners and took his Viagra popping ass to Miami.

Still ain't shit.

Sun salutation, ladies.

Suspect out of the way. Heading toward Exchange.

Than to measure once and cut ten times.

Thank you.

That's a look alike

That's burnt

That's why they got gimmicks.

There's beauty in there. You gotta love it, man.

They dippin' sisters in milk over there?

This came from my grandmama church.

This is burnt.

This is German engineered, titanium teeth,

To find

Vote for Lalowe Brown!

Wasn't but two seconds ago your pasty Pilgrim ass

Watch it.

We don't do politics in here. It's a place of business

We don't need you around here if you don't wanna be here.

We need those other business owners on your block to sell.

We not breakin' in to Nappy Cutz.

We're almost done.

We're never on time

Well, I'll be.

Well, lookit here. If it ain't Bobby and Whitney

What technique? You cut like a bitch

What we got across the street is character.

What you mean, Uh uh?

What?

What? No.

What?!

What's up, boss man?

What's up, Ma? Richie?

What's up, y'all? Quick lineup?

When did they put that up?

When we together, we together.

Who was it that said, Be on time for something other than...

With them funky ass voting booths, you can go ahead.

Y'all got jokes. My bad.

Yeah, but honestly, though, Now that I got it,

Yeah, I'm aware of it.

Yeah, so after all that quieted down,

Yeah, they fumigating

Yeah, yeah

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Yo, what's up?

You act like you know what you're doing.

You be safe out there

You don't do that to Kenard!

You don't know jack about me, girl.

You don't need a loud, evil, neck rollin' chicken head like Terri

You done worked and lived around here for what, 34, 35 years?

You have a son, don't you?

You like our sign? Not too flashy, I hope

You need a man that's gonna take care of you.

You remember Shawna, right?

You tell him.

You're crazy.

You're next.

Your finger goin' up there, but you not.

Your precious love

Your precious love

Big Floyd Patterson haircut head. You don't look like Floyd.

Brad Pitt. Mel Gibson

Don't even look at that

Goodness! What?

Hi, Jimmy! Hey, everybody.

In the back back? Yeah, in the back back

To find To find

Wait a minute. It's okay. It's okay

Yeah. Get the ice.

You don't know your role. Know your role. Speak on.

You know better than that. Eddie, you need to quit it.

...'cause they don't fit the plan of the new developers.

'Cause you can't