Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016) Edit

A British fighter bomber last week

A bucket of cold water, i suppose.

A dowel,

A lot of women find me very charming, Kim.

A nation accustomed to war

A seven, a six or seven in New York?

A what?

A whorehouse. You're going to love it.

About some bloody wild goose chase in the tribals.

Actually, I told geri that I want New York or D.C.

Actually, I tried to go back

Actually, Kim means who in turkish.

Actually, not bad.

Afghanis is the currency.

Afghanistan should definitely be on our air more.

Again, this incredible footage

Ah, here she is! How are you, Kim?

Ah, snow's killing us.

Ah! Goddamn it.

Ah! It's so pretty, i don't even want to vote.

All men must shave the hair of their pubis.

All right, the Chinese mining concession...

All right, well, come talk to me in two months

All right. Okay.

All right. Uh... dang it!

Also short Brian's dead.

Also, the women, obviously, they don't want the men

Also, they're boarding already.

Although, donkeys aside, he's a good fixer. Mmm.

Although, sir, you would look spectacular

American troops, Chinese gold. Oh, iain, that's really good.

American version of this conversation.

American white lady story I've ever heard.

An addict always needs a greater and greater dosage.

And

And absolutely feel free to say no. Yeah, sure.

And Afghanistan should be on our air more, period.

And as the drums of war

And as we watch it again there, Susanna,

And either way, the show is full tonight.

And even though, as we saw firsthand,

And he got his legs blown off.

And I also give this message to president Hamid karzai:

And I am just...

And I am warning you now, do not sleep with iain.

And I burst into Jerry's office? How about that?

And I end up in prison.

And I guess now I'm a war reporter.

And I have gone backwards.

And I have gone backwards.

And I notice this

And I realize that it's from where my bike used to be.

And I'm black.

And I'm gonna fuck a Scottish guy and write a book.

And I'm not allowed to talk to the women.

And I'm wondering if you could give me something, on background,

And just one bag,

And Kim Baker.

And listen, in three months...

And mentioned it to know why the only good story to come

And no one will sue if I die

And nothing symbolizes that effort more than this place,

And noting as such...

And now Andy lost an eye and jaweed is dead.

And shag strangers in restaurant bathrooms.

And sometimes at night we shoot the big gun,

And that's it.

And that's not a term of affection.

And that's what this job does to all of us.

And the British empire. Yeah.

And the encouragement of virtue

And the engineer's yelling, i got pig iron, i got pig iron?

And the kabubble is well established.

And the state of the war in general.

And the Taliban, they wouldn't have even been there for ubl

And then next time congress votes on a Pentagon budget

And then people make mistakes, people get hurt.

And then there will be some talking, you know.

And then we can make it an even three.

And then we'll go meet some friends in wazir akbar Khan.

And there was a firebombing there the other day.

And there's this pesky little 10% line item for the marines,

And they just prop one up and throw rocks at it.

And today felt like jumping out of an airplane.

And we would wonder how the arm got broken to begin with.

And we're clear. Back in 40.

And we're here to help.

And Wells. Uh...

And what's best for the network.

And when they're back stateside, they become fours again.

And why not?

And you and your crew are clear to tag along.

And you are fucking single, all right?

And you folks here are all the unmarried,

And, hell, you know, if bin laden's parents

And, hey, what, i forgive you!

And, I mean, no offense, but they're all, like,

Andy's in surgery.

Any of them ever get better?

Anything else I'm forgetting? I think that's it.

Anyway, welcome to the fun house.

Are happy about our presence here?

Are reporting high voter turnout,

Are you asking me not to sleep with your soldiers?

Are you familiar with the term four ten four, miss Baker?

Are you fucking crazy, Kim? Please.

Are you fucking mental?

Are you guys getting outside the wire much?

Are you mental? Okay, mate...

Are you okay, ma'am?

Are you saying I'm a four?

Are you shitting me?

Are you still in touch with that isi guy

As far as I understand,

As I said, we could have done this over the phone.

As journalists, we have an obligation to this story.

At a party where alcohol was served.

At least if I'm a fucking woman,

At medical school. I was a doctor.

At the end of that, right? Nope.

Attacks against coalition forces are up,

Aw, your friend is me.

Aye, thank you.

Aye.

Aye. Listen...

Badakhshan, that will keep

Bahzo! There's a bahzo here!

Beat ever louder in Iraq,

Beautiful, mysterious Ikea bags, okay?

Bebakhshid, fahim.

Because

Because Afghanistan doesn't rate anymore.

Because I have to go home.

Because I stole a bottle of sake

Because I think there's plenty of good work

Because I want to get out of Kabul.

Because if I hadn't come back to see you lot

Because it wasn't a bang bang, it was about women's rights.

Because mid coitus you tried to call Tanya

Because of the singer.

Because the fucking pass is still snowed in.

Because the network gave me money.

Because you were in a contract negotiation?

Because you were in a contract negotiation?

Because you're on the hourly plan now.

Because you're what, i mean, you're like,

Because your ministry for the prevention of vice

Become tens when they ship out

Before he takes it all away, and I

Bitch, we are going out tonight! Whoo!

Borderline ten.

Bounce out of Afghanistan

Brian hooper. Tall Brian.

Brian. Huh?

But

But a powerful man such as yourself must actually know something.

But even the army wouldn't take me.

But I didn't think the Attorney General

But I do not know you.

But I'm not exactly a war zone virgin, you know?

But it's worth it to talk to you two ladies.

But make sure you pack extra socks and knickers.

But she has been a bad friend lately.

But that's really above and beyond.

But the dolphins never hurt anyone.

But the problem is, as much as everyone loves the troops,

But they want to walk to the river.

But this Internet connection is the worst!

But we urinate, doctor. Out of our vaginas.

But what?

But when I get back maybe...

But you let this relationship wither and die!

But you probably didn't see that.

But you write news copy.

But, you know, I was... I was in the...

But, you know, it's quiet here. Jesus!

By all means, yeah.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Okay. Okay.

Call to let me know that you've received this message.

Can any of you geniuses tell me the kelley blue book value

Can get addicted to this type of high.

Can I ask a favor, Kim?

Can I fuck your security guys?

Can I take your bag?

Can this half assed country not even do kidnapping right?

Can you fucking believe it?

Can you see... I don't... hello?

Cannot go back to sitting at a goddamn desk. I can't.

Carrying a hair of the pubis dowel?

Cease laser. Safe laser.

Champagne?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Chow and protection, that's all you can accept?

Chris can suck a fat one.

Christ, man, we've both fucking made mistakes!

Chronicles a decade spent working

Clear copy, miss Baker?

Colonel hollanek is coming to Norton tomorrow

Colonel, the Afghan national army missed

Combat photographer, iain mackelpie.

Come back and we'll get kinetic.

Come on, iain, it's not his fault.

Come on, just put everything in your mouth.

Come on, let's go! Get this shit together! We gotta move!

Come on, she just told her unibrow story.

Come on.

Come to New York and get it.

Coming up, a look at the war on terror

Congratulations on your promotion,

Contact left! Stay in the vehicle!

Copy that.

Copy that. Good.

Corporal coughlin told me earlier that he is still not planning

Coughlin? Yes. What?

Coughlin. I didn't recognize you.

Could you just... State your name and rank?

Couldn't one of you just be Brian?

Cunt.

Despite Taliban threats, election observers

Did he say what he wanted?

Did I not wear a headscarf? Where's my phone?

Did these phones just go down or did that fucker hang up on me?

Did you fucking sucker punch me?

Did you go to the tribals

Did you go to the tribals

Didn't we come this way?

Do I hear swearing over there?

Do I look like a man to walk the streets

Do what?

Do you have a special friend?

Do you have any other connections

Do you have one of those weird little penises?

Do you remember this video?

Do you remember your first embed?

Do you think so? Really?

Do you think the war in Iraq has affected your resources here?

Do you want me to go?

Dolphins? What a joke.

Domestic reportage.

Don't fucking hide.

Don't mix those two up. Got it.

Don't remember me like that. No.

Don't you think that would be great for the corps, sir?

Don't you think?

Ducky, I'm sorry. I fucked up.

Dude, I'm not stealing your job, okay?

Dude, what the fuck?

Eat scrambled eggs off each other?

Enjoy the ride, ma'am.

Especially in cities.

Even nic? You don't want nic for yourself?

Even though you have been a bad friend,

Everybody get the fuck out!

Everybody was drawings.

Excused. Good night.

Execute the radios and televisions.

Fahim, what does the graffiti say?

Fahim, what's going on up there?

Fahim?

Fahim.

Fahim. The police are giving me shit for parking here.

Fair enough. Didn't think of that.

Fine. Forget it. I'll hold it. Women are tough, right?

Finish this,

Fire!

Firstly, I'm afraid of boyfriends. Mmm hmm.

Fix it.

Following a fatal traffic accident involving a coalition truck,

For a very special friend.

For those of you who are behind the scenes, there are

Friday is the only day off in the islamic week.

From a Japanese travel writer...

From an animal that hasn't hurt anyone.

From London, I'll be joined by award winning

Fu...

Fuck off. Ugh.

Fuck this! All of it!

Fuck, man, I don't know.

Fuck!

Fuck.

Fuck. I am...

Fucking carpet anymore.

Fucking hands out of your pockets!

Fucking not as interesting as it got

Fun mistake where one of us had an orgasm.

Funny.

G'day, qadar.

General, excuse me. Hey. General, do you have a minute?

Geri doesn't like me that much. But she does like me now,

Geri...

Get back in the car!

Get down behind the engine block!

Get in the car!

Get out of here!

Get out of the way!

Get out!

Give me a break, man.

Go back to wapping.

Go on in, Kim. Jerry's expecting you.

Go where, dude? It's Saturday.

Goatees and fat strong.

God, I thought you got shot at a wedding or something.

God! Just please help me.

Goddamn it, I'm tired.

Goddamn! Once you got no legs, everyone takes everything so serious.

Good job.

Good on ya, Kim!

Good or bad.

Good thing that x was bodgy or I'd be flying right now!

Got to stay hydrated, ma'am.

Gotten to the point, like, five minutes ago?

Great, thanks.

Great. What am i even doing here, ed?

Gulbahar yousofy, hits the road.

Gunnery sergeant Clinton j. Hurd.

Hadn't have gotten divorced,

Half the accents are fake.

Hang tight, sir. I'm gonna get you that ride.

Have a good... Have a good ride.

Have a happy ending?

He called me a fenian bastard.

He got the whole fucking thing.

He just wants to talk to me.

He likes to watch men with donkeys.

He said that you're upset about the air time you're getting.

He wants to know if you are the Russians.

He's still begging in the street. Hey, abrahaim.

He's the art Garfunkel, right?

Hear me out.

Hearts and minds.

Hello!

Hello! So, wait!

Hello! Where are you going?

Hello.

Hello.

Her network will pay me triple.

Here is your local mobile. The number is on the back.

Here just has shit all.

Here they are.

Here, you're a nine.

Here.

Here. You know what?

Here's my little man.

Hey, Antoine.

Hey, do I have to buy a dress for your wedding?

Hey, don't worry. Just go. Go, go, go.

Hey, I heard that nic quit and you fucked iain!

Hey, it's all right.

Hey, that's my ass! Do you have a mother?

Hey, you guys are 3 5, right?

Hey, you want to have a quickie

Hey!

Hey! Egg boy! Hey! You're a little shitbird!

Hey! Nabil! Hey.

Hey! No, Kim, don't say that. You could have nic.

Hey! You're hooking up Tanya in the tribals?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. I'm just talking about her safety.

Hi, iain.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. I'm your shooter.

Hi. Was I supposed to say something then

High profile things that you do.

His new book, conflict zone,

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Holy shit!

Home sweet home.

Hooyah, general.

How about an interview with pacha Khan?

How are you standing there the one time I curse?

How are you?

How are you? You okay there?

How can we get to know each other, Kim?

How do I fix it?

How do you think that will affect our draw down in the region?

How does this

How does this end?

How you doing?

How's your baby?

Huh.

I almost fucked a Canadian?

I am a friend of America.

I am a person of,

I am fahim.

I am fucking losing it.

I am now married. I want to have children.

I am sorry, but we have to go.

I am still a man, no?

I am the army.

I appreciate that, but if I hadn't quoted you,

I assumed you two flew here together.

I believe I threw your mobile in my cupboard.

I bet the girl is strong, too.

I bet you're wetter than a submarine with screen doors now.

I can be in New York by Thursday.

I can make some calls. We can take my car.

I can't believe this worked out!

I can't breathe in here.

I can't hear you, honey.

I can't hear you!

I can't smile. My face feels weird.

I can't...

I cannot ask these men about this.

I could fly you first class.

I could make some inquiries, but I can only do this

I did hear about this, yes.

I didn't think there was anything else out there for me.

I dig pits to trap others and I fall in.

I do not think you do.

I do not want to work with you anymore.

I do, Mr. sadiq. Yes, on camera.

I don't care if you can do your job. I care if my men can.

I don't care. No. I drank too much water and I have to pee.

I don't even chamber a round in my weapon anymore, because,

I don't have a good one. I'm just here.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what to say to you.

I don't know who the woman was it belonged to.

I don't know. I'm in Seattle.

I don't know. It's endorphins, right?

I don't remember what happened last night.

I don't think I can do this.

I fancy you, Kim Baker.

I feel so rude even asking this. No, it's fine.

I gave him, like, $100!

I get it.

I got it. Okay, yeah. Got it.

I got that from a pickup book.

I got you! Hey.

I hate to even bring it up.

I have a video that I think you should watch, sadiq.

I have all the fucking time in the world.

I have bad knees.

I have done thousands of miles on this bike

I have literally gone backwards.

I have to go outside.

I have to go to New York City and justify my life

I have to look at a calendar. I don't think I can do it this month.

I have...

I haven't been on the air in months!

I hope you get salmonella!

I hope you got all that on film, ma'am.

I just have to get out of here before it's too late.

I just need to get out of Kabul.

I just need you to see something.

I just... I couldn't look at that

I just... I don't have one.

I know it's a scam, Kim. So what?

I know they've not hurt anyone, mate. I'm just making the point...

I know. Iain talked to Colin.

I know. It's fucked.

I like you, Kim.

I like your mouthiness.

I lost my legs because of an ied, not because of you.

I love music.

I love that lippy color. What is that?

I love to dance!

I mean, even the Dutch army don't wear orange.

I mean, I've got tons of miles.

I mean, ma'am...

I mean, the army! I mean, that's just hurtful.

I mean, there's only so much any of us have any control of,

I mean, we're both in a really bad place. And then you

I mean, what week goes by that you don't see

I miss you and I want to see you. And I...

I need a win.

I need me time, exactly. That's...

I need something so that geri doesn't decide

I need that story. I need a hit, all right?

I owe you one.

I plot to get what I want

I really shouldn't have my back to the door.

I returned to this country to save it.

I ride after a deer and find myself chased by a hog.

I run a small department inside the interior ministry.

I sent research. He's likely to be Attorney General.

I should be suspicious of what I want.

I should just marry my mildly depressive boyfriend.

I should've googled you.

I started to feel like this was normal.

I swear to god, they blow up another well,

I take another pair of boots off.

I taught you how to clear your Internet history, okay?

I think breakfast is of equal monetary value.

I think I can paraphrase that.

I think it's romantic.

I think on Tuesday. Why?

I think that they have a bunch of old Soviet landmines,

I think we were.

I told you about that?

I told you to stay in the car.

I understand that you are no longer

I want everything in your mouth.

I want to talk to Jerry.

I want to talk to this Jerry whatever, Taub.

I want you to be happy.

I want you to come visit me.

I wanted...

I was at the gym after work one night. Stationary bike.

I was cursing your name at 0 stupid 30, but I'm glad I came out today.

I was just going home from closing a woman brothel

I was kidnapped by the aig when they were still called that.

I was. Drove back overnight.

I went to the gift shop at Taliban.

I would do it.

I would love to be your special friend.

I would never do this.

I would not, sir.

I wouldn't ask that too loudly, Kim.

I'd give you my eggs for $100.

I'd like to kiss you.

I'd say we're both on the wrong side of persia, ma'am.

I'd stay down if i were you, ya wee cunt.

I'll be back.

I'll be doing your security. I'll take your bag.

I'll come with you in the car if there's room.

I'll come with you.

I'll do my best to stay objective.

I'll fix you up next week. Okay.

I'll get the next flight. Okay.

I'll meet you. What?

I'll share my badakhshan thing with you.

I'll take you lying down, come on.

I'll think about it.

I'm a big fan of the movie predator with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I'm afraid all I could get

I'm Canadian, you asshole. Ugh.

I'm dragging this fucking thing along,

I'm dying to know who blew up my well.

I'm flipping you the bird in here right now.

I'm going to go live with it as soon as they let me out of here.

I'm going to let you have one of these.

I'm gonna be in New York at the end of the month,

I'm gonna go discover the wonders of the east,

I'm guessing you didn't come here for the smell of balls.

I'm here until, like, at least the 15th.

I'm joking, Kim. That didn't happen.

I'm just looking for a statement on sharia in kandahar.

I'm just putting my fucking finger in your mouth.

I'm just saying,

I'm Lance corporal coughlin, India company 3 5.

I'm more useful as an ottoman in her fucking office.

I'm not gonna get buggered, you know what I'm saying?

I'm not gonna protect my country

I'm not really surprised she chased the story.

I'm not your mate. I'm gonna ask you again,

I'm off. Excuse me.

I'm saying you carry an orange fucking backpack.

I'm Scottish, by the way.

I'm serious.

I'm sorry that I didn't get back last month.

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, colonel, i can't accept gifts as a journalist.

I'm sorry, i can't help you.

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out because I saw your

I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not authorized to answer that question.

I'm sorry, you started talking to her before the uav strike?

I'm Tanya. Oh, my god,

I'm trying to get information about

I'm trying to see if they put my story up,

I'm waiting for the snow to melt!

I've been... I've been using all the wrong swear words.

I've done mostly domestic reportage.

I've got to leverage it into something better.

I've had worse kidnappings.

I've never touched alcohol in my life!

I've seen people with actual experience make bad decisions here.

Iain mackelpie getting kidnapped.

Iain oo hee. Don't bother.

Iain was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Iain, just shut it.

Iain, that's easy for you to say, mate,

If a man's pubic hair was long enough to curl around the dowel,

If brezhnev hadn't have gone and fouled up Afghanistan

If I could just get you to get me a story

If I'm understanding this briefing,

If we fix the well, you can't blow it up.

If we go anywhere, jaweed, we take our vehicle.

If you didn't learn that in Afghanistan, you were not paying attention.

If you want to kidnap someone fucking twice,

If you'd fancy a coffee.

Il y a du monde au balcon. Pas mal.

In Afghanistan, you're a serious piece of ass.

In Afghanistan? Really?

In America, I would get a book deal out of this shit!

In case a missile is fired at the aircraft!

In fact, when the fight or flight instinct

In kandahar that was firebombed

In my culture, we would hug.

In one of those pretty white uniforms.

In one of those pretty white uniforms.

In the first place.

In the meantime, captain stern here

In the middle east and Afghanistan.

In this restive nation?

Indentation in the carpet,

Inshallah.

Iraq is where you get some right now.

Irish twins.

Is activated in the hypothalamus,

Is that a cab?

Is that a cab?

Is that my toothbrush?

Is the same thing as a personality, maybe. Oh!

Is there a shower?

Is this about me going to badakhshan without you?

Is this your first night out?

Is uav a drone?

Is your full name Shakira?

Isaf does not think this was an upper tier organization.

Isn't deciding what's best for the network my job?

It changes your perception of what's normal until...

It is him. That's my guy.

It is sadiq.

It is, actually.

It looks like the Attorney General

It makes me taller.

It means, oh, what a terrible event! Uh huh.

It refers to women who are fours back home

It reminds me of my time living in London.

It sucks. You'll fit right in.

It was a brilliant piece, that.

It was worse than a unibrow. It went all the way into his hair.

It will not happen again. It's not gonna...

It would be fine. But meanwhile...

It's a brothel and a Chinese restaurant.

It's a good idea, right?

It's a great idea!

It's a shame you're going. Hmm?

It's a tent with a shower.

It's bad tradecraft,

It's bananas here. It's, um...

It's beautiful.

It's bugging the shit out of me. Ma'am...

It's capital f, capital w.

It's erse for Owen.

It's fahim. Are you ready to go?

It's fucking Ace!

It's gonna be great.

It's just occurring to me that, unlike jsoc,

It's just work has been a little frustrating.

It's just...

It's Kim.

It's like fucking musical chairs.

It's like the hide of a fine horse.

It's like the wild west out there.

It's not about badakhshan, or Glasgow,

It's not my job. I'm a producer. General news. Enron.

It's okay, come.

It's okay. Hey.

It's okay. I know you're not gonna come.

It's okay. It's all right.

It's okay. It's okay. Here.

It's probably just a wedding somewhere nearby.

It's quite polluted with feces.

It's so nice to have another woman in the house!

It's still not 'cause of you, ma'am.

It's such beautiful hair.

It's the way we work.

It's their only chance to be social

It's too fucking long for me!

It's true. He had a good long run in the military.

It's unfortunate.

It's, like, a foot in front of my bike.

It's, like, a foot in front of my bike.

Jaweed, yes,

Jaweed's dead.

Jerry Taub, head of the network, Kim.

Jesus, Kim! No.

Jesus!

Jesus!

Jesus!

Jesus! What the fuck?

Jesus. Oh, yeah.

Jesus. Oy.

Just a

Just about the security situation here

Just bring us back a six pack, eh?

Just death.

Just got here from New York.

Just incredible. Way to go, Kim!

Just waiting for my guy to give me the green light.

K.I.A.! Killed in action.

Kabul happened, my wee froggy in the pot.

Kabul international airport.

Kandahar's gone to shit party. You know?

Keep sipping that. You're all right. It's okay.

Kim Baker.

Kim is American for white lady.

Kim, are you going to be joining in?

Kim, are you okay? What's going on?

Kim, did you ever feel like you're Manning that tollgate

Kim, don't get out of the car! Kim!

Kim, I was talking to some of the younger men.

Kim, if we are going to kandahar,

Kim, look at these dogs.

Kim, no.

Kim, now. We must hurry. We must hurry.

Kim, sip that. Okay? You all right?

Kim, this is tall Brian.

Kim, today we are meeting Ali massoud sadiq.

Kim, we have a bit of a situation outside.

Kim, you know the frog in the pot of water?

Kim, you've got to move on.

Kim!

Kim!

Kim!

Kim?

Kim?

Kim?

Kim.

Kim.

Kim.

Kim.

Kim. Kim. Kim. Kim, nice work.

Kim. Your hair.

Knock yourself out.

Laser off. Laser safe.

Leaving a message for Susan.

Let me just have a little peekaboo.

Let's apply for another embed.

Let's go, load up! Let's go, move, move, move!

Let's look now at the 12 first tier drivers in the current coin paradigm.

Like real Taliban contacts.

Listen up. Iraq two is happening.

Listen, I think it's impressive.

Listen, rest up tonight.

Listen, the iain thing is not a thing, okay?

Listen, you haven't been home in months.

Literally.

Local time is 15 hours.

Long simmering frustration

Look in the mirror, dipshit.

Look, a month ago, i was writing a story about corn syrup.

Look, everyone in the kabubble is full of shit. It's okay.

Look, geri, I don't know what Tucker has been telling you.

Look, I can't sell Afghanistan in Monday meetings.

Look, Nicky, i know you've been specially trained

Look, the last person who got any kind of

Look, we don't go in blind.