The House Bunny (2008) Edit

A brothel? Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.

A bunch of snooty bitches!

A nuclear nonproliferation treaty should ease tension in Asia.

A peace sign to the fellas And reverse it for the hatas

A Zeta housemother, and I don't like some of the things you were saying.

About topics?

Actually, 7 3/4 as of Tuesday last week.

Actually, I'm ingenious and philanthropic, and you're a backstabbing bitch.

Actually, it's a nursing home for senior citizens.

All by themselves, wondering where everybody went,

All right, here we go. It's Shelley time. Come on, Shelley, it's so hot.

All right, that was Kappa Eta Sigma!

All right, you twisted my arm, it's chili powder.

All right. Now remember, just be yourself, only different.

All that heavy makeup just hides your beauty.

Always remember, boys want what other boys want.

Am I a virgin? No.

An old folks'... Old people. Old people.

And also, another thing that I thought of was, you could dress them up.

And as for the Zeta girls, I'm sure they're doing fine.

And before we could even get them all out,

And Carrie Mae.

And drink fruity drinks and dirty dance with each other.

And find us a super place to live, with a new family.

And for those of you girls going through rush,

And he distracted me. Just for a minute.

And he says that means that we're in love, and he's right!

And he's coming this way. What do I do?

And he's kind of cute, too.

And here's a list of ideas I came up with for fundraisers

And I am so mad that they did that to you guys,

And I felt just like that girl from the storybook.

And I know that there's nothing better than just being with your sisters,

And I know that what I've decided to do won't make any sense to you at all,

And I love you, but I don't think I can do it.

And I might say something like this.

And I never talked to a boy before. You know?

And I suddenly felt like another person.

And I think I'm gonna cry.

And I want to let you know that I got your message,

And I want you to move back to the Mansion.

And I was at the top of the list not signing up.

And I was in Playboy.

And I'm in love!

And I'm under a lot of pressure from other sororities

And I'm wearing deodorant. Carrie Mae?

And if she knows how to meet guys, then we will learn how to meet guys.

And it seems like people would have fun doing that.

And my spine could be like a noodle. And...

And neither would a lot of you.

And now, let the sacrificial rites begin!

And Oliver and I started dating again.

And other stuff, too, but I can't say, because I'm live on the air right now,

And our piano is from Tuscany. Very high end.

And selling the calendars will help us raise money for our phil an coppopopy.

And she never throws up on anybody when she's drunk.

And she's really into that guy.

And since guys don't like us, I figured she could help.

And so I couldn't wait to get a cold so I could take my erythromycin.

And so I ignored all the bad side effects, because suddenly people were talking to me

And that was what was happening to me.

And that's not the only thing I like.

And then from there we're gonna travel Europe,

And then he would kiss me. So, any questions?

And then I saw him talking to Ashley.

And then Joanne, over there.

And then maybe you'll wanna come live with me.

And then pictures were taken, and suddenly I found the family

And then you come along with your weird kryptonite death grip, and...

And they knew each other. I could tell by the way that they talked, and...

And this here is Harmony.

And this is where I want to live happily ever after.

And we could throw them over telephone wires.

And who would go to it?

And you can't say `ass cheeks` right?

And you could do like Joan of...

And you do look like an older,

And you're British?

And, also, why would he kiss you, because you...

And, baby, if I think you're special

And, God, do you know how sick to death I am of you?

And, Mrs. Hagstrom, I meant Meteor.

And, you know, if I took it off, I wouldn't even know what would possibly happen,

And, you know, you should really go for a more natural look.

And...

Are they lost?

Are those index cards?

Are you Lilly?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you serious?

Are you sure that's everything?

Are you totally serious, or is this not Hef?

Aren't we just the luckiest girls in the whole world?

Arms, legs, belly and cleavage.

At Phi lota Mu we are very exclusive, because we can be.

At the Panhellenic Council meeting this afternoon.

At the Zeta house, our new motto is, Be who you are.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Awesome. Great.

B.Y.O.M.

Back it a back it a back Back it on up

Back, back... Back it on up

Back, back... Back it on up

Badass party. Badass.

Baking penis cookies, playing with monkeys...

Battlestar Galactica. Okay.

Because feeling good on the inside is all about looking good on the outside.

Because I haven't had one since I slept in my car and spent the night in jail.

Because I really wanna help you guys, because I know I can do it.

Because I see that everywhere,

Because I used to be a Playboy Bunny, but I got kicked out of the Mansion

Because I was about to try and organize a dance class.

Because I'm 59 years old?

Because I'm not that hungry?

Because otherwise, when we kiss

Because she's our new hizzety housemother.

Because there's no way that I'm going to let a whorey little tart like you

Because they do understand human talk, and you hurt their feelings.

Because they're cute and they're little and you can hold them.

Because we always need volunteers to help out

Because we get no pledges, and everyone kind of thinks we're losers.

Being a centerfold is the highest, most prestigious honor there is.

Believe it, baby.

Besides, I gotta get back to work.

Better.

Booya! Snap!

Boys actually like them.

Bring your own man?

But besides the itching, the erythromycin also made my skin glow.

But don't lose faith, Pooter.

But everybody loves her, because she's super beautiful

But he said yes, so here goes.

But I do know that one day, when your looks are gone,

But I don't know, he just stared.

But I don't mean it for real.

But I have joined the Peace Corps,

But I have to go take a shower,

But I just turned 27 last night.

But I just wanna mix drinks.

But I just want to...

But I lived in a house filled with girls for nine years,

But I really think that...

But I said it kind of quietly, I think.

But I tried not to give up hope.

But I'm not a prostitute. I was just brushing my teeth.

But it was fine in the orphanage.

But just like a little off.

But she does drive a Porsche.

But the fact remains,

But there was this boy there.

But they just end up

But underneath that beautiful, glowing skin, I still had that cold.

But we can't listen to those girls.

But we might wanna try something a little more

But we might want to try something a little sexier.

But we should probably wrap it up, because I've got another date at 11.

But you can't even tell I have boobs.

But you have to have part of your heart in it as well.

But you made me feel

But, I mean, I do know that I had fun.

But, I mean, this feels more you.

But, I'm sorry, you're not a student. It was so nice talking to you.

But, unfortunately, he...

But...

By making you guys the hottest girls on campus.

By other sororities, do you happen to mean Phi lota Mu?

By the time I'm done, every girl on campus'll want to pledge Zeta.

Bye.

Bye.

Can I be one, too?

Can I help you?

Can we be 60% Shelley?

Can you really be that dumb?

Can't be a baby pledging a sorority. You gotta be a student.

Car wash.

Car wash.

Car wash. Come get your car washed.

Carrie Mae, go work your magic.

Carrie Mae.

Chaperone the social events, make sure the girls stay out of trouble.

Check out Joanne.

Colby, I want to be your girlfriend more than an electron wants to attach to a proton.

Colorado, theater major... Her father owns, like, half of Aspen.

Come here, Pooter.

Come on, guys, let's give her a chance.

Come on, Pooter.

Come on, Puffin, you've been in here for days.

Come on, work it, Shelley! Come on, let's see some...

Come on!

Come on! Come on, one more! Just need one more Zeta.

Complaining that we're bending the rules for you.

Conventional Archetypes of Beauty and Their Effect on the Opposite Sex.

Cute smiles and heels high

Dear Hef, everything worked out!

Dear Shelley... Oh, my gosh, that's me.

Did I mess that up? Because I can do that so much better.

Did she just call us bitches?

Did she just call us sexy?

Did you blink?

Didn't know how lost I was Until I found you

Different.

Do you find yourself more attracted to me when I'm like this,

Do you live in the houses with the girls?

Do you remember the one where the wolf huffed and puffed

Do you think you could help me out of here, though?

Do you understand how moronic you sound

Do you understand how moronic you sound

Does the little one understand human talk?

Don't be ridiculous. Why would they have a booth?

Don't mess with me.

Don't mess with Phi lota Mu.

Don't worry, sweetie. First timers only get one night.

Don't worry, you can't be any worse than we were.

Drama queen.

Drop off some timber.

Dude, that's wild.

Dunzo. Pound that gavel, Dean.

Egg! Paprika!

Enough is enough.

Enough with the freak show.

Especially since we're about to take their house.

Everyone gets haircuts.

Everyone will see the new you,

Everything worked out so perfectly.

Except this time, no manhole covers or bubble gum.

Excuse me, you know where the crapper is?

First up,

First, we must highlight your eyes.

For a whole month because I thought I was ugly.

For example, let's pretend that Natalie here is a man.

For five minutes, just in the hope that we might hook up?

Get over there. Get on that horse!

Give me the fog. Wind, let's go. Music, let's go.

Go ahead and keep that one.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go. Go!

Go, go. Go!

Go! Go! Get up there! Go! Go!

Go. Go.

God, I'm so sorry.

Good evening, ma'am.

Good idea. Okay, here.

Good luck.

Good morning, Marvin.

Good morning, Pooter. You're looking dapper.

Good morning, Shelley.

Good news. I'm gonna make you next month's centerfold.

Goofy dude?

Great job, ladies.

Great.

Guys, remember, we only need 30, okay?

Guys, stop. Come on, stop, stop.

Guys, this is Cassandra. She's only been here for a few months,

Guys, we're never gonna get that many pledges.

Guys.

Guys.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha on you, Zetas.

Hands up now

Harmony, Brian Stone was all over you, girl.

Harmony.

Have even seen their own bodies naked,

He didn't fall for any of my tricks.

He is just so mean.

He left for Vegas, Shelley. I don't think he's that good with goodbyes.

He runs past here every day, and I've seen you staring at him.

He was in a uniform and everything.

He's gay?

Hef, I just can't believe it.

Hef, I'm so sorry.

Hef!

Hef!

Hef!

Hef!

Hef?

Hef's kicking me out?

Helped us rise to the top of the social ranks

Henry, Henry, look away. Look away, okay?

Here I am, just a goofy dude.

Here we are at the Zeta House Car Wash.

Here you go.

Here, let me help, Shelley. Hey, Pooter. Shelley's calling you now.

Here's to Zetas, to making you guys the best sorority ever.

Hey, honey! You had me at `itchy ass cheeks` I'm in.

Hey, I know where I know you from.

Hey, it's the Zetas.

Hey, Joanne, just FYI,

Hey, Oliver, ask the girl to dance.

Hey, Shelley, it's me.

Hey, Shelley, why don't you throw some clothes on?

Hey, Super brace!

Hey, watch this, guys.

Hey, where are you guys going?

Hey, you guys, Lilly just texted me.

Hey!

Hi, everybody. I'm home.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Hef, it's Shelley.

Hi, Hef! Hi, girls!

Hi, Shelley. Looking good.

Hi!

Hi! Dinosaurs! Like, everyone saw Jurassic Park.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'll take two calendars.

Hi. Zeta. Tell 29 of your friends.

Hiring an archaically superficial reflection of the male fantasy?

Honestly, is this really what you've become?

Hopefully Hef'll give me the good news this weekend at my birthday party.

How about something spooky? No, funny.

How are you? Like, I can't believe you're calling me.

How do you do it, you know?

How is everybody at the Mansion? How are things?

How long would the kiss usually be?

How...

I actually added something to your orange juice.

I added my own little Marvin twist to them.

I am leaving the Zeta house to fulfill my lifelong dream.

I am not an expert speech giver.

I am so offended right now.

I am so sorry.

I believe that every detail of the house

I bet the house that falls on you is gonna be a sexy house.

I can tell that you like him and that you want to talk to him.

I can totally hose you some right there. Go ahead, lean back.

I can't believe that happened.

I can't believe that Zeta's become just like Phi lota Mu.

I can't leave my Zeta girls.

I can't wait to be back at the Mansion and be a centerfold.

I could stay with you.

I definitely won't listen to what Simon says.

I did sexy, I did other guys want me.

I do not think, you know, that.

I don't get it.

I don't know how this big meeting stuff works, but I just...

I don't know if you guys can recognize this, but Shelley is meeting guys.

I don't like when you look nervous. You will not blow this!

I don't think he likes me.

I don't think I would make the cut these days.

I don't think I'm your Miss November.

I don't think that my heart is in my skull.

I don't think we've ever met.

I don't want you to feel attacked by all of us, so I'm just gonna say me.

I even let Bob Saget grind on me during a slow dance.

I feel like we never see you guys out.

I got numbers from four boys. It was all for research.

I guess I am a little proud.

I guess.

I hate to say this, Shelley, but maybe it's because of your age.

I have a car, and I'm great at washing it.

I have something to say.

I have to do a very mysterious thing in there.

I have to drop off some timber.

I have, like, the world's hugest crush on him.

I hear they did want the basket back, though.

I hope everybody at the old folks' home is doing great.

I hope they are good thoughts.

I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few extra volunteers to help out today.

I just don't feel like she's gonna fit in.

I just don't know about this one. I kind of feel like we've created this image.

I just don't understand that kind of behavior.

I just went over there to look for my money

I knew that. I knew that.

I know it was a disaster, but she's...

I know it was awful.

I know it's an embarrassment to live in a beat up car,

I know lots of old men.

I know that, but he doesn't.

I know that, dipswitch. I can see that.

I know that, too. And I don't care.

I know what boys like

I know what boys like

I know what boys like

I know you're feelin' me

I know. Then we need to let him see how in demand you are.

I know. We really miss you, Shelley.

I like everything that Shelley said.

I like taking long walks with rude people. Only on short piers, though.

I like that word.

I like your tights.

I made it through the wilderness

I manage a nursing home.

I mean, besides, it's not like I want you to be my girlfriend

I mean, everything itched. My legs, my arms, my earlobes.

I mean, I assume it's theirs, who knows? I don't.

I mean, I don't think there's anything that we can do.

I mean, I messed up things with Oliver because I moved to Peru and left him a note.

I mean, I think my butt would still be a pretty good one, though.

I mean, it's just a silly old butt with no tan lines.

I mean, say what you want about her, but the girl had style.

I mean, so cool.

I mean, with Colby here and with Oliver asking you out,

I met you yesterday. I was that homeless girl.

I might let you

I might let you!

I might puke, but let's do it!

I needed to hurt someone.

I only tell you that because I don't want you to worry

I really don't think it matters who complained.

I really like what you've done with the Bedazzler.

I remember this one. She seems kind of weird.

I saw that in Austin Powers.

I see stars and he sees fireworks.

I take it all back, I take it all back.

I tempt the hello

I think I dropped some money over here the other day.

I think I'd like to be alone for a bit.

I think it was a dollar coin, because I heard a clanging.

I think we can do it.

I think you're a bad witch.

I took it once when I had a cold. I was 16, and it gave me itching.

I totally understand why that saying sounds mixed up,

I used to hear her crying in her room late at night.

I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.

I wanna be a housemother.

I want all the fraternities to see how hot you guys are.

I want to be a Zeta.

I want you to show skin in the four major regions.

I was beat, incomplete

I was gonna ask you this, because I've been seeing these all over.

I was just brushing my teeth.

I was just doing what he said.

I was just kidding, silly.

I was literally just talking about you. How did you know that I got back?

I was so excited.

I wasn't very popular.

I will be bundled up in clothes, barely showing any flesh.

I wonder what they did when Marilyn Monroe did it.

I would like to try this again.

I'd show you, but who really wants to see my butt?

I'll ask.

I'll get it.

I'll take a little sip.

I'm a dude.

I'm a hag and I'm fat and rude

I'm a housemother.

I'm allergic to erythromycin.

I'm Ashley. Come on in. Nice to meet you guys.

I'm at work right now, actually.

I'm Cole. Cole Trickle.

I'm definitely not drunk enough for that.

I'm going to bed. No movies tonight.

I'm gonna be the next Miss November, not that little blonde bitch.

I'm gonna find us a really nice place to live,

I'm gonna get a great job soon,

I'm gonna get going. I wouldn't want you to keep the other guy waiting.

I'm gonna go, and I really hope to see you guys in the future.

I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car and take a Breathalyzer.

I'm gonna have to issue another ticket.

I'm gonna need you to blow on this.

I'm home.

I'm just saying, she should have spent the Porsche money on a nose job.

I'm just saying, you know, maybe he wants to talk first.

I'm looking to be like you.

I'm not either. But the point is, you're a butterfly now, not an earthworm.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking at, metalface.

I'm not really sure what you're trying to tell me, Shelley.

I'm not sure yet.

I'm really good. I'm good. Thanks.

I'm really sorry for what I said to you.

I'm so glad to be back.

I'm so happy that you called me.

I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you this in person.

I'm so sorry, I think I broke your Z.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to tell, it just came out.

I'm sorry about all the gravity.

I'm sorry to invade your space, but I needed that.

I'm sorry, Colby, but Natalie is a very hot commodity.

I'm sorry, I'm nervous right now,

I'm sorry, Oliver.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. This is a sorority, not a brothel.

I'm still hungry, even though we just ate.

I'm sure glad I joined when I did, because honestly,

I'm sure he will.

I'm sure it'll be very hot where I'm going.

I'm too busy in a library, reading books with dust on them.

I'm touching his arm, I'm looking deep into his eyes

I've been in Phi lota Mu hell!

I've got my turn ons all ready and everything.

I've gotta talk to Hef, maybe he'll let me stay.

I've never seen anybody get sacrificed before.

If everything you have is based on looks, well, then you've got nothing.

If I think you'll give me

If I thought you all were quitting... My heart would just fall out of my head.

If this is Hef, blink once. If it isn't Hef, blink twice.

If you're interested.

If you're on my level

In China, they usually tend to layer it, I've noticed.

In their belly give it a try.

Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi,

Intimidated!

Is anyone buying this?

Is just blend.

Is she serious?

Is that like a Yoda thing, or what?

Is this from Hef? Is this my birthday gift?

Is this how you skimplify?

It all started 27 years ago.

It all started with this fake hair and your stupid water bras.

It flashes by and burns bright, but then it disappears.

It gave me, like, this glowing tan.

It hurts me to do this, but I...

It sounds like you really read the paper.

It was so nice to see you.

It was unbelievable.

It was way too embarrassing to face you after everything.

It's a little too late.

It's a shame nobody'd be able to see it, you know, under my brace.

It's almost like I'm still 26.

It's for the best. She wasn't happy.

It's fun, but, what...

It's going to be huge.

It's just so kind.

It's like a charity.

It's like we might both lose our virginity this year.

It's like, Hey, you wanna be my girlfriend? Sit next to me.

It's me, Shell.

It's okay. It's just, Carrie Mae, sometimes

It's so great to have such nice friends.

It's so great you give nurses a place to live.

It's supposed to be a mixer. There's no one here to mix.

It's the whole fun part of it, is you can put them in little outfits.

It's time for this virgin to get sacrificed in the boiling Jell O lava!

Joanne.

Judging other girls on their appearance? Calling them weird?

Just because of your hairstyle. So...

Just consider it like another thesis topic, you know?

Just give her a minute.

Just give it to me. I have a great memory.

Just give me a second. I promise the Zetas are going up on stage.

Just go over there and talk to him about any old thing.

Just stay away from sharp corners.

Katootoo Jihiman.

Keep doing that, keep doing that. Make love to the camera.

Kind of like a coming out party. So we are gonna take some pictures.

Kristen Withers.

Let me get some more napkins.

Let me guess, is it a Hannibal Lecter thing?

Let's do this. There's no way those bitches are getting our house.

Let's just say a little bird told me.

Let's shoot this. Miss November. Immortality! Let's go!

Let's start with this.

Let's watch a movie, it'll make you feel better.

Like a big bag of poop

Like a centerfold?

Like a loser

Like an orphanage for old people?

Like, How hard can you throw?

Lilly just texted me from the closet. She says we're not misfits.

Lilly, go mail the bids.

Lilly, you talked.

Lilly.

Listen up, ladies! Zeta was founded on the tenets of sisterhood,

Listen, if you want, you know, you could stop by the nursing home,

Look at how hot my ladies are now

Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.

Look at the wall. Think of broccoli and bad bingo cards.

Looking good, Jean.

Looks like a mini Playboy Mansion.

Love, Shelley.

Love, Shelley.

Luckily, lots of families came.

Many of our sisters are leaders on campus.

Marvin called us. I thought...

Marvin, tell Shelley we're back and we're gonna be watching a movie.

Maybe it's over here by this manhole.

Maybe you guys are, too.

Me too!

Me?

Meeting adjourned.

Men like their women with a little bit of mystery.

Men write to me from prison, sometimes in their own blood.

Michelle, do you know that feeling that I'm talking about?

Michelle.

Mist it a little, and that way the light will catch our tans.

Mostly sexy.

Move out?

Mr. Hefner, Shelley's actually gone. She told me to give you this letter.

My allergic reaction made me feel pretty,

My car's still dirty, so I'll be out here if you need me.

My God, you're so vapid.

My name is Lilly.

My name is Shelley, and I'm here to be your housemother.

My name is Shelley. And I like long walks and hate rude people.

My teeth couldn't stop it.

Nancy Nagle. English major from Florida.

Natalie, are you a virgin?

Natalie, rules are rules.

Natalie, there you are.

Natalie, these are super, super great ideas.

Natalie! Together we can do anything!

Natalie?

Natalie? What'd you do to your hair?

Natalie.

New pledger, right there. Come on, two more!

Next one.

Next up, the Zetas?

Nice.

No, I can't bend that way.

No, I think we're good, thanks.

No, I was just thanking Shelley.

No, I'm so fine. I mean, you know, it's all indented into me

No, in a calendar. The Girls of Zeta.

No, just bring me more ice cream.

No, no, no, no, she's right, Courtney. I mean, we should apologize.

No, no. I mean, you don't want to be my girlfriend.

No, no. In order to keep our house, though, we do have to be popular. Yes.

No, really, we are just a bunch of misfits.

No, Shelley, you're the best twister.

No, that doesn't make her a hooker. Sorry.

No, they weren't glazing. They were just taking a break.

No!

No! No! This is germane to our predicament.

No? You have a wide range of interests?

No.

No.

No.

No. Bring your own mouse!

No. How about Scarface?

No. I'm the Zeta Sorority Housemother.

No. Index... They're napkins.

No. So the house is gone?

No. Sorry.

No. This is a sorority house at a school.

No. We are not going out. I've never even talked to him.

Nobody signed up.

Not anymore.

Not good.

Not like an I live in the wall and eat crickets kind of weird,

Not you, Tanya. I was talking about Harmony.

Now can I see your pizzanties?

Now every time I come up in the spot I'm with my Zetas

Now I realize that

Now I'm their house mom.

Now that you mention it,

Now this blonde babe is the one to thank

Now, go study something.

Of course, everybody wanted to be adopted.

Of Phi lota Mu?

Oh, all the time. I am just nuts about the paper.

Oh, and I guess that when we buy your house,

Oh, bless your heart, no. Just a couple of small pictorials,

Oh, Bobby and Zach from Kappa are just dying to meet you.

Oh, but don't worry.

Oh, but my name is Lilly, actually.

Oh, classy. Very classy.

Oh, do you wash cars?

Oh, for God's sake, Dean Simmons. Enough is enough. Do something.

Oh, girls! Always say yes to karaoke.

Oh, give me some of that.

Oh, God bless her.

Oh, great. Thank you.

Oh, heck, no!

Oh, hi, girls. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my name is Shelley.

Oh, I just like to air dry.

Oh, I know, right? But you have to be asked to live here.

Oh, I love having my mouth enveloped.

Oh, I love my weird home.

Oh, I love to dance.

Oh, I wish.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

Oh, I've missed you guys so much.

Oh, it's better than vapid.

Oh, it's paradise.

Oh, Joanne.

Oh, just... A little bird told me.

Oh, Marvin, thank you so much for telling me.

Oh, Mona, that guy is totally checking you out.

Oh, Mr. Hefner...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I bet you're gonna get Miss November.

Oh, my God. Shelley, that's Colby. I'm in love with him.

Oh, my God. There's boys on our lawn.

Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I did that.

Oh, my gosh, I just told you my wish. Now it won't come true.

Oh, my gosh, no. I've missed you so much.

Oh, my gosh! I am just so happy that you guys want me here.

Oh, my gosh. How did you find me?

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.

Oh, my gosh. That's exactly what I used to do back at the Mansion.

Oh, my gosh. We have to have an Aztec party.

Oh, my gosh. Your biceps are huge. Kiss me.

Oh, no, no. It's just this thing I do to remember people's names.

Oh, no, no. Why, why, why? You look great.

Oh, no. It's a philanthropy.

Oh, no. No. I have a bike.

Oh, no. To add zest to the drink, first I put in some vanilla extract,

Oh, nothing a little fertilizer can't help.

Oh, okay. Well, maybe we could let someone who doesn't have a giant baby

Oh, Pooter, is it finally happening? Am I Miss November?

Oh, she just likes to air dry.

Oh, Shelley, come on. It's not worth it, let's go.

Oh, sweet bastard, that's good.

Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's boys just being boys.

Oh, that's good to know. I'm Oliver.

Oh, that's so sweet. How long have you guys been going out?

Oh, wait here for a second.

Oh, we also need to raise money for our philanthropy.

Oh, we are not posing for Playboy.

Oh, we're not losers.

Oh, well, kindness is just love with its work boots on.

Oh, well, you're good like that.

Oh, yeah. Cinderella.

Oh, yeah. I know all about work.

Oh, yeah. Sexy. Sell it, Shelley. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, you dropped them, but I got it, and they're gonna be mailed right out.

Oh, you meant the President of the United States.

Oh, you scared me. My heart's pounding like a nail.

Oh. Thank you, Shelley.

Oh... Job.

Oil can. Oil can.

Okay, cool. All right. Next up, Jill Palmer.

Okay, guys. Close your eyes.

Okay, Henry, very glad you finally learned how to use the suggestion box.

Okay, here's what happens.

Okay, here's what we need to do.

Okay, I'm ready.

Okay, I'm sure the nose surgeon would take the Porsche as a trade in.

Okay, ladies, fan out and find a partner.

Okay, ladies, today's lesson is makeup.

Okay, look, don't get me wrong. I love guys.

Okay, okay, he's here. Okay.

Okay, so Zetas keep their house.

Okay, that's the first time we've ever spoken, so... First time.

Okay, this is your most important secret weapon, the water bra.

Okay, this isn't my fault. Don't like...

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Oliver is kind and sweet and when we kiss,

Oliver, I hope you think of me every once in a while, and when you do,

Oliver.

Oliver.

Oliver.

One more. Just need one more. Come on, everybody.

One more. One more. Get your hand up. Come on! Be a Zeta.

One time, at the Mansion,

Only vastly different.