Postal Dude Soundboard Edit

And another one bites the dust.

Are you going to sign this, or will it be your surviving family members?

Because you're ugly.

Bitch.

Bless me, father, for I have really sinned. Really. I'm not kidding here, big Sinner yet.

Bobo the space monkey.

Can't we all just get along?

Chuck Heston.

Crap.

Damn, here I was minding my own business, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights, and you people have to freak out on me.

Damn. Do all these people look alike or what?

Does my voice annoy you?

Fuck you.

Gee, I hope nobody is taping this.

Geez, whoever designed this town was on serious crack.

God, what's that awful stench?

Great.

Guns don't kill people. I do.

Happy fucking birthday.

Have a nice day.

Hello, miss.

Hey.

Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?

Hi there.

Hi.

How about some service over here?

I don't feel so good.

I feel great.

I knew it.

I'll follow you home and kill your dog.

I'm bored already.

I'm so wrong.

I'm sorry, apparently I'm feeling a little psychotic this morning.

It's uncle dad.

Jaja.

Jimbo, Bob.

Johnny.

Just kidding.

Last names, dude.

Lizard KING

My bad.

No problemo.

No, really. Does the sound of my voice get on your nerves? It bugs me sometimes.

No.

No.

Not a chance.

Nothing a coat of paint and some antibiotics can't cure.

Now where is that?

Oh my God.

Oh, I get it.

Ohh yeah.

OK.

Only my weapon understands me.

Oops.

Postal Dude Laugh

Really.

Shit.

Shut up, moron.

Sign this petition or I'll follow you home and kill your dog.

Sissy.

Someone stole my Donuts and now you're all gonna pay.

Sorry.

Sounds reasonable.

Sweet.

Thanks.

That can't be good.

That's clearly wrong.

This is so humiliating.

Uncle Dave's having a party.

Video games don't kill people. I do.

What for?

What fucking moron designed this?

Would you please sign my petition?

Yeah, that's what they all say.

Yeah, yeah, blah blah.

Yes.

Yes.

You go, girl.

You probably think I'm not a nice person.

You probably thought you weren't going to die today. Surprise.

Your mother.