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Home > Samuel L. Jackson Small Soundboard
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
Ain't the same league it ain't the same fuckin' sport
Correctamundo
English motherfucker! do you speak it yes!
Every time my fingers touch brain i'm superfly tnt i'm the guns of the navarone
God came down from heaven and stopped these motherfuckin' bullets
Goddamn jimmie! this some serious gourmet shit
Goddamn this morning air is some chilly shit
Hamburgers! the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast
I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat he got a weight problem I mean what's a ****** gonna do he's samoan
If it takes forever then i'll walk forever
If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions
Look you wanna play blind man go walk with the shepherd but me my eyes are wide fuckin' open
Me and vincent would've been satisfied with some freeze dried taster's choice right and he springs this serious gourmet shit on us
My name's pitt and your ass ain't talkin' your way outta this shit
No man I don't eat pork are you ******* I ain't ******* I just don't dig on swine that's all why not pigs are filthy animals I don't eat filthy animals
No no no no that shit wasn't luck this was divine intervention
Now I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet which one is it it's the one that says bad motherfucker
Pigs sleep and root in shit that's a filthy animal I ain't eatin' nothin' ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces
Please! god damn it I hate this hacker crap
Put yourself in his position it's 8 00 in the morning he just woke up he wasn't expectin' this shit
Say 'what' again! I dare ya! I double dare you motherfucker! say 'what' one more goddamn time!
Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but i'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers
Shut the fuck up fat man! this ain't none of your goddamn business!
Sounds like a shit job funny I was thinkin' the same thing
That's it that's my bad motherfucker
What happened here was a miracle and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!
What just happened here was a fuckin' miracle!
Yeah but you are aware that there is an invention called television and on this invention they show shows right yeah
You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in fuckin' blood
You owe me some money motherfucker hell no but here you go
'and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers!'
'and you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!'
'the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men '

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Funny