NewsRadio - Season 4 Edit

A baby?

A blimp? No!

A boss maybe you even hate a little bit? No! Why

A bottle of wine and thou.

A buddy of mine died in '87. You could use his I.D.,

A buddy of mine works at adult video conventions.

A certain Jimmy James"

A Dave who, for lack of a better phrase, is...

A desire to to live life to its fullest.

A fact I only learned moments ago.

A favorite song or book, movie, anything?

A few months ago I translated it into Japanese, and guess what.

A figment of your imagination.

A full investigation followed by a report.

A good, scary boss who yells at people who are trying to be nice to her.

A great group, for the most part. So where's Bill?

A hundred dollars says You don't have $100.

A hundred if you guys wind up doing it.

A hundred percent. Everything's fine. Don't come down here.

A leotard? Oh, man!

A little bird just flew into the glass and died.

A little creative role playing might help us all learn more about ourselves.

A little place I like to call "Crap House Central." Come on.

A little song and dance, but without the dance, of course. Uh huh.

A lot more.

A lot of people don't know that about me, but it's true.

A man who could not take it anymore.

A message that I think we all hear loud and clear.

A miniature prototype of which my flight technician, Joe, is bringin' right in.

A party, yeah, but I don't know about the surprise part.

A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Cheryl. Good afternoon. Walter.

A pleasure, Mr. Nelson. Ah.

A polygraph test? Why?

A priest, rabbi and an astronaut are all on a life raft, and they only got one sandwich.

A professional masseuse can do for us all

A prostate can swell up to the size of a g****fruit?

A really bad batch of ye old fashioned radio fudge?

A remarkably harmonious, post romantic friendship.

A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous,

A super effort, but I've seen this in every office.

A tad overdone. [ Grunts ]

A thief has entered. We are all in danger.

A thousand and one actually. Oh, you have something right there.

A thousand thank yous for filling in on such short notice.

A virgin? I knew it. It's a trick.

A wizard casts a spell on us while we are

A world of enchantment awaits. Where we going first?

Abandoned the car in a junkyard.

Abdul is a Bedouin. He found me, he revived me.

About 45 minutes. But

About how love affects job performance

About imaginary love triangles that you're not even a part of?

About Matthew. Oh.

About me.

About the fact that somebody's gettin' a little...

About this little arson thing, 'cause it's kind of embarrassing.

About two years. Three years.

About what you said about chewing tobacco and the dangers it poses.

Absolutely. We're just like rats in a Habitrail to them.

According to this, this station is losing...

Actually reminds me of the time that you said in the Madison Gazette,

Actually, he's kind of got a point though.

Actually, I never really listened to Dave.

Actually, I think Bill just might make a terrific father.

Actually, I was making a move on him.

Actually, I'm not quite sure Matthew, would you like to take me to dinner tonight?

Actually, is there any way it can wait? I'm really busy right now.

Actually, no. Say no more.

Actually, nothing goes on here without his go ahead. Really?

Actually, on second thought Yeah, it's gonna be good.

Actually, we're an all news format. Mostly A.M.

Actually, you can't do that. I promised him I wouldn't tell anybody.

Actually, you know what? There is. Yeah?

Ad Sales is on line three, the F.C.C. is on line five

Advocated pulling foreign diplomats from their cars and beating them.

After I got fired, I got kicked out of my apartment.

After me? I'm touched.

After our final performance at... Badger Jam '88.

After that incident in Grand Rapids,

After we did it.

After which we made the pact.

Again, I would like to say I accept full responsibility

Again, thank you.

Again.

Ah da da da da. I can answer the question.

Ah, a clean desk for a clean boss.

Ah, come on. He's not even here.

Ah, excuse me, guys. Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Ah, excuse me, I'm looking for Bill McNeal.

Ah, I see. I see.

Ah, just didn't have the heart to tell the poor son of a bitch.

Ah, keep it.

Ah, Lisa, this is radio.

Ah, screw the talk! Let's sing!

Ah, that's better.

Ah, there are things in this living world far sweeter...

Ah, there, that's much better.

Ah, to be young again.

Ah, well, Danny and I were looking for you.

Ah, well, it's not another story about a courageous cat, is it?

Ah, well.

Ah, well. This is my office, and he's not here.

Ah, well. Yes, but if you recall, that was ultimately a mutual decision.

Ah, who am I kidding? I love the little guy.

Ah, you know, actually he's kinda cute.

Ah! Oh, doggone it! What am I thinkin'?

Ah! Oh, you do, do you?

Ah. "Have you ever lied to a coworker?

Ah. I don't know what you're talkin' about, because I'm not involved,

Ah. Making any progress there, sir? Second base.

Ah. Okay.

Ah. Then good. That's the stuff.

Ah. Well, Bill, we're not living in 19th century England.

Ah. Well, no rush on that. No rush.

Ah. Yes.

Aha! So, the truth comes out at last again.

Aha.

Aha. And that's the Secret of Management?

Ahoy, mates.

Ahoy. Welcome to Petey the Pirate's Funtime Pizza Palace.

Ain't he the cutest thing? Yeah.

All I can think of is is radio, radio, radio!

All I'm doing is getting on the air...

All I'm saying is he belongs down in steerage,

All right then, everyone. If no one else has anything to add, um

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right. Bill, sit down.

All right, Bill.

All right, Bill.

All right, Bill. It's time to end this farce, all right?

All right, Bill. Now you get to see parenting in action.

All right, Dave. I don't want you to panic,

All right, dude. So here's the deal.

All right, dude. That's it. Yeah, it is it. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

All right, dude. Well, whatever happens tonight,

All right, everyone. The excitement's over.

All right, fair enough. Folks, we're in a crisis situation here.

All right, fine. I just wanna go on record saying...

All right, fine. I'll leave you to your pirate nerd radio.

All right, here we go. All righty.

All right, your varmint! Get a ready to draw!

All right! Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.

All right! Then I want you to sign right there. Look at that.

All right?

All right? Fine.

All right? I I applaud your misguided efforts to make me jealous,

All right? No. That's all right.

All right? What is he talking about?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. All right. But who do you think wrote those clichés?

All right. All right. How many times have I told you?

All right. All right. Uh Time for what?

All right. All right. You know, why do you keep treating me like I'm the enemy?

All right. Any other dead weight? Just the microphone.

All right. Can I ask a question?

All right. Come on! Come on!

All right. Come on. On the day in question, she made three calls...

All right. Exactly what kind of career do you have lined up anyway?

All right. Except for Dave. Sorry, big guy. [ Mouthing Words ]

All right. First order of business.

All right. First, you have got to clean up after him. I'm not gonna do that for you.

All right. For the last time, I'm up in the air in a balloon!

All right. Here goes nothing.

All right. Here we go.

All right. Hold on. Would you excuse me, please?

All right. I just hope you two know what you're doing.

All right. I obviously didn't watch as much Zoom as you, but

All right. I spray painted graffiti on the gymnasium by [ Buzzes ]

All right. I'll tell ya what. Give me a little time to figure out a graceful exit, all right?

All right. I'm right here when you need me. All right.

All right. I'm screwed. That's it.

All right. It's a date. Oh, okay. Excellent!

All right. Just humor an old billionaire, would you?

All right. Keep on going. Keep on going.

All right. Knock it off. This has gone too far.

All right. Let's go get loaded. Okay?

All right. Matthew.

All right. No holds barred, all out Ultimate Fighting.

All right. Okay.

All right. Quit the screwin' around. Where's the birthday boy?

All right. So we got a deal?

All right. Stand right there.

All right. That gives us components "A" through "B."

All right. The next time you guys see me,

All right. Turn around.

All right. Uh

All right. Uh, look, uh,

All right. Uh, where are you going, sir?

All right. We're almost ready to go live. Let me just prep you a little.

All right. Well, fine. But just don't let it interfere with your work, okay?

All right. Well, here's my union's list of demands

All right. Well, I have to go talk to him

All right. Well, then I'm I'm missin' somethin' here.

All right. Well, who who's Joe gonna be fighting?

All right. What do you say we just hit "copy"?

All right. Whoa, hold on. What's going on here?

All right. Wow.

All right. You get some rest, pal, and put this whole sordid affair out of your mind.

All right. You got it.

All right. You killed Ted. Big deal. Am I right?

All right. You ready?

All right. You tell me what happened. Okay.

All right. You've caught me. Yes, there is somebody in this office...

All right. You've got my vote.

All systems All systems are go.

All the top companies are hazing new employees nowadays.

Allow me to see if the master is in.

Almost more of an automaton than a human being.

Almost, almost. I still got a little sand in my shorts.

Alone? Okay.

Already he almost makes as much as I do

Also represent the F.C.C.?

Also, I love you.

Also, I'm an office manager for Young & Rubicam, and the boss likes us to do charity stuff.

Also, I'm an office manager for Young & Rubicam, and the boss likes us to do charity stuff.

Also, it helps keep their vocal pipes clean. Yes, it does.

Also, please abolish the Microsoft Internet Explorer...

Although there are times when I do...

Always consider sound advice,

Always going off with his stupid comments that nobody gets. Nobody even gets them.

Always the last to know. How classic. Yeah.

Am I fired? You're not fired.

Am I right? All right. So remember, a vote for Dave...

Among those of a certain distinction and breeding,

An accountant who seems to prefer pretending to be an engineer to minding the books.

An actual human life will be my responsibility.

An additional .085% of pretax revenue...

An authentic subway token.

An extremely selfish and self centered person

An iceberg that one.

An issue of money. Here you go.

An office with a door that closes.

Anarchy sweeps the nation, and millions of people are running around nude, looting stuff?

And And Lisa's on her merry way home.

And And what?

And "B," that place is, no offense, run by an idiot

And "Lisa's cute ass" that with Dave at first either.

And 15,654 times 12 months is 187,848, not 18,784,

And a boss you fear a little bit? [ Murmuring ]

And after that, she just cleaned out her desk and left.

And all you can think about is his hair?

And also, Nancy from Accounting and Renee from Ad Sales are both out with the flu,

And and and suddenly, bam.

And and city council budget committee meetings, you know?

And and finally grant you your wish.

And apparently he was also a devoted member of the...

And apparently one in a great deal of pain,

And apparently you can't have a five man juggling routine with only nine arms.

And as far as hazing goes,

And as much as I value you as a friend,

And as much as I value you as a friend,

And as the boss, I hereby order myself not to be the boss forever.

And as you can see, it is closed...

And assets in excess of $5 billion.

And attaching the key to a large, heavy, plastic crate I will keep in my office.

And because I facetiously mentioned that those who didn't should be punished,

And besides, he's in a union, so don't even think it.

And Beth. I love you, Catherine.

And Bill certainly isn't President Kennedy.

And by embodying pure evil as I now do,

And catalog those tapes like I told you to!

And Catherine said that if I didn't stop, she was gonna sue me for sexual harassment.

And cheek bones you could slice cheese on.

And damn it, he was a Star Wars fan!

And do it now! What?

And don't forget Holy crap!

And eight simply said, "Baba Booey."

And even I find something humiliating about...

And even though the light switch is over 15 feet away, I should have no problem in

And even though the room is now partially darkened, it should be a simple matter to

And every day I somehow manage to pull another one out of my butt.

And get back to work?

And giving people the straight dope about...

And go straight to the present, huh? Now you're speaking my language.

And had someone rock you to sleep.

And have a sneezing fit until the ref calls the fight.

And have it translated back into English.

And have spent, all told, two months in jail.

And he choked to death.

And he deserves our our our compassion and our respect!

And he gave me a hundred dollar deposit on a space suit rental.

And he got his tie caught in the copy machine.

And he loves kids, and isn't that the only prerequisite for being a parent?

And he must have told me 500 of those stupid sayings. Five hundred? Hmm.

And he turned into this sniveling coward, which ordinarily would amuse me, but

And he was convinced I was gay. Well, yeah.

And his life is literally hanging from a strand of Joe's homemade rope.

And his many complicated software platforms which should be outlawed.

And hopes for a fair and speedy conclusion to this disagreement.

And how.

And I actually wrote a song t to help me. Mm hmm.

And I came over to your place. I guess I just wish I had known...

And I came up with an electrical device...

And I care so much about all of you some parts more than others.

And I care so much about you.

And I don't even mind the cigars. But boxing?

And I don't know what the hell to do with him half the time.

And I don't wanna get your hopes up too high,

And I don't want to get into a debate on the legal merits...

And I don't want you to tear it apart...

And I emphasize... the word "accident."

And I even decided to splurge on a diaper service,

And I for one think that we could all benefit from a little conductive criticism,

And I got a big fat tie, and I wanna make 20 copies of it."

And I happen to think yesterday's editorial,

And I happened to notice that you came in here.

And I have some thoughts.

And I I don't need you bouncing around like some kind of freakin' lab monkey!

And I just I'm pretending to be a waiter,

And I just can't do that to them.

And I just wanna make sure everything looks perfect.

And I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and

And I just wanted to thank you guys...

And I just went with it.

And I knew there was something I was supposed to remember.

And I know you were hoping we could do it in a gay bar, but what are you gonna do?

And I need you to tabulate those demographics for Bill's drive time ratings.

And I opened my own practice back in '92.

And I ran over to him and I kissed him on the lips.

And I said, "Walt, maybe we should just, you know, slow things down."

And I say it's time we cut them off at the wrist.

And I start feeling like things are gonna..

And I suppose that things couldn't have been better.

And I think the best thing for this team...

And I thought I'd open her up and see what she could do.

And I thought, "Boy, I bet Bill McNeal could make some hay with this."

And I want all of you, my closest companions, to

And I wish I could be part of it, but, uh, really, I just can't.

And I wish I had an answer to that. I really do.

And I would officially like to announce my candidacy

And I, for one, can't blame him for not liking Carl.

And I'd advise all of you to do the same.

And I'd appreciate being seen under the most businesslike conditions possible.

And I'm afraid the same goes for you, Beth.

And I'm fine with that. And Lisa's fine with that.

And I'm having a hard time concentrating on what you're

And I'm just glad someone finally realized the good...

And I'm not just saying that because I'm afraid you'll sink a shiv in my back from 50 paces.

And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

And I'm sure they appreciate it, Mr. McNeal, but

And I'm telling everyone what you're like in bed,

And I'm thinkin' maybe she's a little hot to trot.

And if he can't, I've got a little talent Shh!

And if I can't be with you in person, you know, I can at least

And if Lisa's happy, I'm happy.

And if the ratings are good, the boss is happy.

And in a way, I guess I am.

And in all my years here at WNYX,

And in all that time, you couldn't find a few hours a day to set aside to practice?

And Injun Joe went up to Muff Potter's place?

And is gonna circumnavigate the globe in a hot air balloon?

And it seems like you guys are talking about not doing the singing thing.

And it slows all the metabolic processes down, so I'll be able to lie all I want to.

And it was Ooh, boy, it was lookin' bad.

And it would just break my heart if he left me and all his new friends here...

And it's it's Christmas,

And it's just reminded me of why I love this job in the first place.

And it's probably something we should take some time to discuss.

And it's something I'm ready to learn

And Jimmy won't fire me, which he probably will.

And join some kind of all male chorus.

And let me tell you, it was hell finding a leotard in my size.

And locked, keeping out intruders.

And maybe not that bright. Which is what makes it so cute.

And maybe you'd feel better if you crawled into someone's lap...

And non integrated algebraic functions?

And nothing. Just don't be nervous.

And now it looks like it's time to pay the piper.

And now you wanna take my story away?

And now, along comes this kid with his sun dappled hair...

And now, I will be giving my exclusive, preflight interview...

And now, if you please, these messages.

And now, without further ado, here's a man who's at the end of his own rope,

And number three Eat my dust, suckers! [ Horn Beeps ]

And one is off working on her feature film career.

And over here we've got a box of doughnuts left over from the California Gold Rush of 1849.

And probably kill myself with a boulder to make sure that your genes didn't live on.

And put these impoverished drunkards out of work? You're a cruel man, Dave.

And remind me to re itemize those agenda lists, because I have no idea what I'm doing.

And right now, that is my sole source of comfort.

And romantic moonlit walks.

And sad. I can't tarry here another second.

And see the art collection on the second floor?

And set them adrift to freeze to death.

And sets it off right next to them.

And she just wanted to see if her makeup would still look good, so

And so I just threw out the whole damn yacht entirely. [ Laughs ]

And so the desperate search for solo balloonist Jimmy James continues.

And so then they got me for resisting arrest.

And someone seems to be wearing the same clothes from the night before.

And stole my wallet, my credit cards, my TV, my stereo,

And stroll to the top of the charts?

And synthesized the relevant information and perfected the recipes through trial and error.

And thanks again, everyone!

And that boss is you.

And that doesn't make you feel... really old? No.

And that foreign diplomats should not, I repeat,

And that guy who owns all the Oriental steakhouses,

And that person... is me.

And that rope will hold both of 'em?

And that works? Hmm.

And that works? Seems to.

And that's ♪ [ Dramatic Sting ]

And that's not such a bad place to be.

And that's the best I could do.

And the damage that he does is pretty minimal in the long run, so

And the fact that she couldn't have me made her, quite simply,

And the fight is about to start. Hello?

And the jet takes him to? Siberia.

And the last one is for Lisa.

And the microphone, as we all know Oh, oh, listen to this.

And the only copy of The Federalist Papers I had at home was abridged.

And the only way to escape is back through the office?

And the rest of the stuff is out of our league.

And the security door will really be the least of your concerns.

And then Matthew?

And then after that, she just cleaned out her desk and left.

And then afterwards, I think there's gonna be some boxing.

And then everybody in the office decides they don't have to do what I say.

And then he gets all offended if you don't practically fall off your chair...

And then I followed her out there

And then I I just panicked, and I I drove away.

And then I just called everybody together for the meeting,

And then I panicked and asked for a pay cut.

And then I remembered, and I left the party and got in my car and drove here.

And then I woke up and had five ulcers on my gums, so I quit.

And then in high school I did tons of ventriloquist competitions, and

And then picks a set of keys out at random and

And then sat on it and cut one.

And then some little kid is supposed to be the Little Brother.

And then think about, you know, children?

And then when I was 17 I stole a car

And then when they got down there they were accidentally assigned to each other.

And then you can just do whatever you want, okay?

And then you thought? Um, I was just I was saying that I thought it was weird.

And then, once they do it a few times, she has to buy a leotard to cover the lie.

And then, uh, during the Renaissance,

And then, you know, she left, and now...

And then, you know, you say something, and then before you know it

And there, my child, you shall be told.

And they called me this morning and said it was my time.

And they kicked me out of the group,

And they're off and running

And they're stealing our catch phrases like Uh huh.

And thirdly, get rid of the smoking area.

And this was, like, my one chance at getting hired back.

And to prove that I do not stand here alone,

And Turner, you know, turns to me.

And turning myself into Baba Booey Jr.!

And two: What does Lisa feel like naked?

And was just shaking it and shaking it and shaking it!

And we can just wipe this day right off the records?

And we got a third one for Lisa.

And we haven't got a temp in yet, so I'll do it.

And we ran into that real character from the seventh floor

And we spent more time together, I realized he needs just as much guidance and love and...

And we will bring you that statement live as it happens.

And we'll air it right after the next break.

And we'll begin the mission by making a straight, vertical ascent up thataway.

And what have we here? She's stopping.

And what is disturbing him we we don't yet know.

And what kind of time's my little baby making today?

And what's November 12?

And whatever it is, I want it on my piano by the end of the day

And when I parody the president,

And when will the next window of opportunity open up?

And while you're at it, why not slip into a brand new fit...

And who are you representing, sir?

And who do we have here? Cynthia.

And who has veto power again? You do, Bill.

And who is whose boss? [ Stammering ] You Yes

And who might this be? The lucky gentleman himself?

And why didn't you vote for me?

And why would that be, Matthew?

And yes, I know her. What about her?

And you are gonna set yourself on fire.

And you are?

And you can get two checks.

And you have to understand that not every woman...

And you know what?

And you want to know why? Because you are Bill McNeal.

And you worked at a comic book store.

And you you you just disappear?

And you you have the the nerve, the gall to call him an ass!

And you're a good personal friend.

And you're a good personal friend.

And, "Don't do today...

And, Dave? Uh huh?

And, Matthew, if you do not leave this building in five minutes,

And, Matthew, of course, is a lifelong Republican, so he had no choice.

And, of course, Lisa.

And, so, members of the United States Senate,

And, uh, Bill, there was no bomb scare, was there?

And, uh, let's just say [ Clears Throat ]

And, uh, that's it.

And, you know, I just kinda feel like an idiot for not knowin' that you liked me too.

And? And then you get to take someone else's car home.

And... action.

Andrea, just the person I wanted to see. Yes, Bill.

Another billionaire is tryin' to fly around the world in a balloon.

Another happy ending from the good people at Jimmy James Incorporated.

Another teddy bear. Wow.

Any dietary change like that's a sure tip off.

Any luck? No.

Any thoughts?

Anyone at all?

Anyone would've done the same thing in your position. Well, look at that.

Anyone?

Anyone?

Anything goes! Anything goes! Sorry.

Anything?

Anyway, first of all, even though Bill is still in Washington...

Anyway, I

Anyway, I for one am already pursuing other options,

Anyway, I think we need to discuss the drive time schedule.

Anyway, I understand you're looking for a voice over person...

Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three,

Anyway, this should help to solve the problem...

Anyway, uh, about drive time

Anyway, what'd you want to talk to me about?

Anyway, why don't you just give me a call when you get this message,

Anyways, who needs a little baby running around the place,

Apparently he, uh, you know, looked after the books...

Apparently Ted was working here late last night on his own and, uh

Apparently there was some kind of miscommunication. [ Joe ] What?

Apparently, he's deeply in love with you.

Apparently, Mr. James has a very important announcement he'd like to make.

Apparently. So let's let's go ahead and do this.

Appears as though your keys are forever lost in Davy Jones's locker.

Appreciate it. Make sure everybody's got a voucher so we can take care of you.

Are Are you They chime. I ask who it is. They tell me. I let them in.

Are a lot "intelligenter" than the common man. Oh!

Are any of your coworkers hiding a past criminal record?"

Are eavesdropping on us,

Are responsible for all of those T shirts and bumper stickers and

Are the best kind, because you can make them do anything.

Are we on the air yet? No, and we're not going on the air.

Are you all right?

Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phone calls?

Are you gonna send him out to the cold, cruel world...

Are you gonna send him out to the cold, cruel world...

Are you gonna tell me, sir? Perhaps.

Are you guys getting the old group back together for one more shot at the big time?

Are you insane?

Are you listening to me?

Are you okay? I'm okay

Are you ready for your first staff meeting, boss?

Are you relaxed? I'm relaxed.

Are you saying that I Yes, I am.

Are you serious, dude?

Are you still on strike? Afraid so.

Are you sure you're up?

Are you sure? Get you some coffee? Clean your desk? No. No.

Are you sure? Yeah. I parked it right here under my desk.

Are you sure? Yeah. Why?

Are you telling me that due to some screwed up paperwork, Spaz actually got a raise?

Are you tryin' to say that I've been fired?

Are you trying to tell me that after five years...

Are you wearing rubber soled shoes? No.

Arizona. Oh, wow! Oh!

Around 2:30 today.

Around 5:00 this afternoon. Oh.

Arson. Arson?

Artistic That's poor for "naked."

As a gentleman's gentleman.

As a high pressure system moves in,

As a matter of fact, I do. I'm tryin' to figure out how to tie a knot.

As a matter of fact, I've given up chewing tobacco altogether.

As a matter of fact, you should be on your best behavior today, all right?

As a ranting, raving, crazy, little man with a

As are you. Can I borrow $500?

As he once was and so shall be again.

As I once pledged to keep myself physically strong,

As many times as I thought about squashing the little dude,

As of today, a new Dave is born

As of today, I'm leaving WNYX. Good bye!

As one of the Rockin' Rangers of the Junior Jimmy Brigade."

As usual, your wit is as sharp as your knife, sir.

As water that comes out of the faucet.

As you release, you let it roll off your fingertips like this.

At a lot of dead baby cows and a bushelful of the world's smallest tomatoes.

At Books Et Cetera." Books Et Cetera!

At County General committed suicide this afternoon...

At least I didn't tell him what it was. That's not the point.

Attention, everyone. I would like to announce my latest triumph.

Atticus Finch, Scout and Boo Radley over there.

Automotive sales.

Aw, come on! Wait a minute here. A priest and a rabbi what?

Aw, damn. It'll take us a few minutes to reload.

Aw, gee whiz.

Aw, geez. Joe! You're the one who didn't wanna pay for the lightning machine!

Aw, I don't wanna be boss anymore. I don't wanna be boss.

Away with all the knives. Just call and have fun.

B Beth? Beth?

B.P. "Be prepared."

Back in the glory days of free love and Fredo's Retreat, but please

Back in the storeroom, third shelf from the door,

Back it up a little, Joe.

Back when my parents used to take me.

Back when we were friends,

Background, financial statement, credentials, references

Bad Bart? I ain't afeard of him.

Be careful of the wall 'cause there's, like, wet paint.

Be good to her. I will.

Be quiet. You're doing it again.

Be that as it may, let's have a little respect for the man now, huh?

Be that as it may, this meeting's

Beautiful country. Yeah, and this is just the airport.

Beautiful countryside up there, no? Oh, yes, it's quite,

Beautiful day, huh? Looks like it might rain.

Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.

Because for the good of this office, I, as boss, am ordering you to be boss.

Because he doesn't look anything like me.

Because he thought he was addicted to computer solitaire?

Because he thought one of his cats was on the verge of learning to speak?

Because he thought that romantic engagements could affect job performance.

Because he's shaking out the sillies! [ Beth Crying ]

Because I am bored out of my brain.

Because I don't want her to have any evidence. I don't have a license.

Because I don't want to break those guys' hearts.

Because I hadn't had my morning sex with Bill.

Because I have these.

Because I said so, that's why

Because I saw you through my binoculars.

Because I think this is something you need to do on your own.

Because I... don't really work here.

Because I'm not in the mood for it.

Because I'm pretty sure it was one of the singing guys.

Because I'm sure that we can work out whatever's bothering you, okay?

Because if I'm the only one wearing a stupid party hat, I'll feel like a dork.

Because Joe is gonna pulverize you.

Because lighting the WNYX Christmas tree...

Because of quality NewsRadio episodes...

Because the only reason I'm not wearing your necklace...

Because this one doesn't go quite as high as the other one.

Because this swing and swing alike attitude might have worked...

Because we never discussed this, but [ Coughs ] good work, whoever the hell you are.

Because you can get through this thing without a key card.

Because, as much as I value that sweetness,

Because, Dave, you're the you're the master campaigner.

Because...

Because... that night...

Before I read my statement.

Before Matthew kills himself.

Before we do this, could we get back to the hidden camera in the ladies' room?

Before you say anything, I apologize. That was grossly insubordinate.

Begin.

Being inefficient and you bein' lonely, they're not the same thing.

Besides, if he gets in trouble, he can give up.

Besides, it would, you know it would be insulting.

Besides, my mother made me talk to my stepfather last night. Oh, God.

Besides, you don't have any money.

Best man in the world to be stuck in a foxhole with.

Beth came around asking everybody to chip in on a cake...

Beth is having an affair with Lisa.

Beth voted against you because Lisa gets fewer phone calls and doesn't like coffee.

Beth, come on. Help me out.

Beth, do you have the key to my door?

Beth, I'm not goin' out there. Beth, I'm not goin' out there!

Beth, Matthew, Dave apologizes for the lies he told you. [ Sighs ]

Beth, no.

Beth, the glue that holds it all together.

Beth, this is probably something your parents should've discussed with you, but

Beth, what can I say? Bye, Matthew.

Beth, you don't think Matthew's an idiot, right?

Beth, you have to understand that not every woman...

Beth!

Beth?

Beth? Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth?

Beth. Beth!

Beth. Beth. What the hell is he doing here?

Between now and the time I get home, call me, okay?

Between performing at home and performing on stage, believe me.

Between you and me, the guy bugged the crap out of me.

Beyond that, anything goes.

Bid money to go out on a date with me.

Big chance for what? To be boss again.

Big diff. It doesn't matter how I heard it.

Big whoop. I make men cry all the time.

Bill This one's going out to you.

Bill and I were talking

Bill didn't fall or anything? No, no. It's all right.

Bill Gates practically called me a Nancy boy.

Bill has just randomly decided that he wants a baby now.

Bill Jr.

Bill just spilled some coffee on me

Bill McNeal? Yeah, he's one of the actors. He's playing the father.

Bill said [ Indistinct ] Matthew, stop it.

Bill sings prettier.

Bill was just giving you some busy work to do to make himself look like a good boss.

Bill was saying that you're thinking of quitting your job...

Bill, Andrea's outside, and we're trying to have a rather important discussion right now.

Bill, being a good boss requires more...

Bill, can I have a word with you?

Bill, can I talk to you for a moment, please?

Bill, come back inside.

Bill, come here.

Bill, don't you think you should get married first...

Bill, don't you...

Bill, go. Please go.

Bill, he was just trying to make sure that Lisa got home okay, all right?

Bill, I am I'm tired of threatening you.

Bill, I am not going to go with you. I'm not going to go,

Bill, I could also answer those questions,

Bill, I have no idea how to be an agent. Oh, it's easy.

Bill, I love you. I know, Matthew. Look, Charlie.

Bill, I need you to be quiet for a moment. Don't ask me why. Just obey.

Bill, I thought you said you were just gonna use the bathroom and then go home.

Bill, I thought your whole life was an act.

Bill, I understand you're trying to be provocative,

Bill, I'm fixin' for another homoerotic adventure on the Big Muddy!

Bill, I'm gonna need to see the copy for today's "Real Deal With Bill McNeal."

Bill, I've never seen you as the fatherly type.

Bill, just let this die.

Bill, Lisa and I have struggled with this job for some time.

Bill, Lisa is not a little lady, all right?

Bill, Mr. James does not have boy toys, all right?

Bill, no offense, but generally,

Bill, nobody is going out on that ledge.

Bill, of course you're right

Bill, please.

Bill, shut up.

Bill, shut up.

Bill, that really isn't necessary. No, Dave, I think...

Bill, that's not how it works.

Bill, that's very good. You do a very good Matthew, but, uh

Bill, the guy was obviously crippled by mental illness!

Bill, there's something I just want to get out in the open right now.

Bill, this is my brother Russ. Russ, Bill. Hey, Russ.

Bill, this is not a frat house, all right?

Bill, this is only temporary. Sure it is, Dave.

Bill, this isn't a joke. This is for real.

Bill, this isn't a scheme. We're really sinking.

Bill, this topic wasn't even hot when it was hot.

Bill, Walt is not having an affair with Lisa, all right?

Bill, was your father in the Khmer Rouge?

Bill, was your father in the Khmer Rouge?

Bill, we need to talk about the show.

Bill, we need to talk about the show.

Bill, what are you doing?

Bill, what are you doing? I said, my office. Sorry.

Bill, what are you doing? I thought you froze up.

Bill, what are you doing? Taping this damn door...

Bill, what did I tell you?

Bill, what?

Bill, where have you been?

Bill, where would we all be if Winston Churchill said,