NewsRadio - Season 3 Edit

A and this is a happy memory for you?

A big old bowl of pudding,

A cautionary tale or a grim portent of things to come?

A cavalcade of sketch comedy and big band jazz from 1932.

A child in this world that's half me.

A cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.

A complaint about the complaint box?

A country club? No.

A cry for attention from a lonely, lonely man.

A debate?

A document No!

A dollar fifty for a token. It's outrageous. Not the fare.

A dream of a kid from a Excuse me.

A few months back.

A fist in the face that drops him

A friend of mine is visiting today.

A friend of mine told me

A frozen piece of chewed up gum...

A fun Christmas goof.

A gentleman by the name of Fidel Castro

A gentleman doesn't ask such questions.

A gold plated hand puppet...

A group hug.

A group hug.

A guy who...maybe isn't quite ready for sex yet, and...

A Korean man gave my dad a big boat for free

A little bit about ourselves, huh?

A little envious, but who wouldn't be?

A little humbled. But if anybody can use it, it's yours truly.

A little less scary for everybody involved

A little more permanent. Am I right?

A long time before you were born by somebody really smart.

A lot of different things.

A lot of emotional stuff can come up, so...

A lot of other people Ah!

A lot of people take tap dancing lessons

A lot. Yeah? Uh huh.

A member of a SWAT team. Oh, we've even got a CEO of

A member of the legal community,

A mentor to a group of young students

A mild myocardial infarction.

A more democratic, egalitarian process.

A new name, my friend.

A nice good pat on the back.

A paradigm of intelligence, fortitude and...

A plague afflicts America.

A pleasure A pleasure meeting you.

A possibility.

A profitable, fun, snowing Christmas goof.

A reclining chair for our smoking area.

A rented tux.

A routine psychiatric evaluation.

A sandwich needs to be properly aged.

A secondhand suit, and $100 worth of savings bonds.

A Senate hearing on Medicaid reallocation.

A small heart attack.

A tall guy like yourself,

A technicality.

A terrible wrong must be righted.

A tireless supporter of numerous charities.

A towering figure in the food service pantheon.

A very successful intergalactic spice mining corporation.

A week in a foreign place.

A week. Maybe two.

A wheelchair?

A woman of great courage.

A workhorse.

Abandon their vehicles, and walk home

About "the relentless pain of trying to cope

About 10 yards away,

About 15 minutes till your shift.

About a Halloween party since the fourth grade.

About a radio broadcaster,

About all the tea

About an hour ago.

About being the only kid in my row with a pension plan.

About corrupt politicians.

About five minutes.

About getting credit for your own ideas.

About her personal relationships.

About her wardrobe, at least she is punctual.

About his personal life that nobody cares about."

About how this might look to, you know...?

About losing the free snacks.

About mouthing off to the higher ups, huh?

About my use of the word "bitch."

About rap lyrics, man?

About the 18 inches of snow on the ground outside.

About the almighty dollar, huh?

About the changing role of welfare in the city

About the comic strip

About the fact that we're snowed in,

About the Globetrotters for quite a while, and...

About the government cover up of alien bodies at Area 52."

About the lyrics of rap music,

About the sandwich machine, anyways.

About the things I've accomplished in my life,

About these and those and this and that,

About wanting to get credit for your ideas?

About what our peers think of my first full year

About what? Golf.

About you and me, a and, uh...

About you, but most

About, "Matthew always spends too much time

Absolutely not. But you get the picture.

Absolutely, sir.

Absolutely. Okay.

According to these figures,

Acknowledged.

Acknowledged. Can you shut that off?

Acknowledged. Come in.

Across to the public.

Actual garage unit does not include

Actual garage unit does not include

Actual garage unit does not include

Actual garage unit does not include installation or maintenance.

Actual rap lyrics.

Actually an American.

Actually, between me and you,

Actually, I can't leave my desk because I'm waiting for a call.

Actually, I I have I have

Actually, I just needed to talk to one of you.

Actually, I think his quote was,

Actually, I think it's pronounced sumimasen,

Actually, I think that guy's really crazy

Actually, I'm sort of a stickler about safe sex.

Actually, I'm... I'm... It's better for me this way,

Actually, it's not so much an essay as it is a

Actually, no, I didn't.

Actually, only two.

Actually, seven.

Actually, that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

Actually, they have mentioned that.

Actually, this is the kind of thing

Ad Advertising! That's right!

Adequate.

Adequate. Yeah.

Admit defeat before, Jim. Just keep walking.

Advanced. Right.

Advertising is deceptive.

Advertising is what made this country great

Advertising pays our bills, all right?

Advertising pays your salary

Africa.

After all, adequacy is the hallmark of great journalism.

After consultation with Mr. James' lawyers,

After I fulfill my duties with my customary "adequacivity."

After the age of 30.

After the second "very"

After their little fire extinguisher high jinks.

Again, again, again.

Again, Bill, no, I don't.

Again, I wasn't talking to you.

Again, it's very nice.

Again, salud

Again, yeah. Okay.

Against another employee...

Agent Zero. I finally saw it this weekend.

Agreed to pass the message along to Beth.

Ah

Ah ha!

Ah, all right.

Ah, all right. Trade secret, right?

Ah, break room, copy's having a big 10 4, good buddy.

Ah, but the lawyers are a bunch of jackasses.

Ah, change the station, dude.

Ah, David, I'd like to say something,

Ah, did we try to mate with you too? Well

Ah, don't worry about it. [SIGHS]

Ah, excuse me, you're Catherine Duke, right?

Ah, I can't. I've been banned from it.

Ah, I'd still be more comfortable

Ah, I'll go with you. I gotta clear my head.

Ah, it felt like an eternity.

Ah, James Caan played Sonny Corleone.

Ah, Matthew, do you mind

Ah, maybe so.

Ah, maybe the future don't look so bad after all.

Ah, no, Mr. James. I'm, uh, busy tonight.

Ah, of course, of course.

Ah, one of my favorites.

Ah, pay the phone bill, return the videos,

Ah, screw it. Nobody has to go.

Ah, see, I knew Ah! There she is! Perfect!

Ah, shoot. You poor thing. Where are you now?

Ah, sweet papa. Whatever.

Ah, th

Ah, thank you, Beth.

Ah, thank you, Jeffrey.

Ah, the black ship Matthew,

Ah, the freak's happy. Leave him alone.

Ah, well Uh...

Ah, well, that isn't technically ironic, but thanks.

Ah, what What is it?

Ah, what if it's something crazy like the ancient Egyptians

Ah, which brings me to my next point.

Ah, yeah, I hear that. I I I hear that.

Ah, yes, I do remember that.

Ah, yes, I'm looking for the marching band.

Ah, yes. Oh, great.

Ah, yes...David Geffen. Mm hmm.

Ah, you You startled me.

Ah, you lie.

Ah, you rascal, you.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Oh, my God.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. All right. In fact...

Ah. And remember, people,

Ah. Dave Nelson and his robot buddy,

Ah. Sorry.

Ah. Thanks.

Ah. Then could you take care of something for me.

Ah. What does it look like?

Ah. Yeah, well, meeting adjourned.

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah... All right, I know it's hard to concentrate

Ah... All right, I know it's hard to concentrate

Ah...on March 8th...2032,

Aha. That's what

Ahem.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Sorry.

Ahh...

Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Albeit in the most moronic way possible, but, uh,

Algernon. Come on.

Alien bodies the government's trying to cover up.

Aliens. Great.

All day long, it's just decisions, decisions, decisions.

All ears, chief. What up?

All federal, state and local judges are members

All go see a couples therapist together, hmm?

All I could think about was you.

All I did was sell someone something

All I did was think about you.

All I had was an appetizer.

All I wanted was enough to buy a little house in Nantucket,

All I'm saying is,

All I'm saying is...

All kinds of different things to eat.

All my sweet bitches, hard at work.

All of them, except the ones you're wearing, unfortunately.

All of them. All I'm saying is that if Dave wants

All of those questions will be answered...

All of your friends here.

All or none. Right on, sister.

All right

All right

All right

All right Interview's over.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right. All right, here you go.

All right, all right. All right, snacks are gone.

All right, all right. Meeting's adjourned.

All right, all right. Now, hold it. all right?

All right, all right. You know? I...

All right, and what has that greed gotten you?

All right, and...

All right, Beth,

All right, Bill, but promise me one thing.

All right, Bill, you can take a break.

All right, bring me the cards.

All right, but what the f

All right, Catherine, I know.

All right, everybody, I know this heat is excruciating.

All right, fine.

All right, fine.

All right, fine.

All right, for the last time,

All right, gang.

All right, good night, sir.

All right, h how did you do that?

All right, here we go.

All right, hold on, Lisa.

All right, honey, when I finish my lunch.

All right, Hugh, let's go.

All right, I heard it again.

All right, I take the complaint box very seriously,

All right, I was telling Lisa that it's like judo.

All right, I'll stop trying to be brave. I feel like hell.

All right, I'll take Matthew. You take Bill.

All right, I'm gonna need the card machine

All right, I've had a bit of a change of heart,

All right, if she's not gonna do it...

All right, Joe, forget about the fridge, I'll take care of it.

All right, kid, come on.

All right, let me guess.

All right, let's continue.

All right, let's go bail him out.

All right, let's go for it. What are we on? Five?

All right, let's meet back here in an hour with some ideas.

All right, let's, uh

All right, let's, uh... Let's try one more time.

All right, Lisa, well, you know what?

All right, look, don't take this thing too seriously.

All right, look, I did not ask for this stupid award.

All right, my good man,

All right, now, look, Dave. I just want you to be prepared

All right, now, uh, anyone else have anything?

All right, now...

All right, so, um, that's pretty much it.

All right, sweet spirit...

All right, that's fine. Putting aside lousy ratings

All right, then it's the most idiotic thing

All right, then we'll just cut straight to the sex.

All right, then. Nice and easy.

All right, Timmy Pantyhose. Pantyhose.

All right, tongue.

All right, um, Matthew,

All right, um...

All right, um... Come on up.

All right, well, just try to pretend

All right, well, this whole process

All right, well, why don't we go over the figures together?

All right, what the hell. I am the belle of the ball.

All right, why on Earth would you be upset about this?

All right, you're just being vindictive

All right?

All right?

All right?

All right? All right.

All right? And, Joe, please...

All right? Fair enough?

All right? That's a good boy.

All right? Yes.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. "Oriagato..."

All right. And finally

All right. And this

All right. Another.

All right. creed means

All right. Dorks, dorks, dorks,

All right. Enough! Do you guys wanna know

All right. Go ahead. Thank you.

All right. Here it is:

All right. Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

All right. How long do we have?

All right. I am hardly waiting outside of your office

All right. I am ordering you a new chair.

All right. I just want you to know,

All right. I'm gonna leave this for you, all right?

All right. I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

All right. Just forget about it, you guys.

All right. Look, Mr. James,

All right. Now see, once a month,

All right. Okay.

All right. One second.

All right. Seriously, um...

All right. So you carded these?

All right. Thanks, Bill.

All right. That's it. No more questions.

All right. Uh, under one condition, though,

All right. Well, this all appears to be in order.

All right. Well, you know what? Mm hm?

All right. Well...

All right. What were you

All right. What's so damned amusing?

All right. What's the complaint?

All right. When you're done, Joe, I need

All right...

All right...

All set?

All the decorations,

All the girls have to give Mr. James a big kiss.

All the important decisions I've made like this.

All the spaceships

All the time.

All them humanoids gettin' beamed into outer space.

All these years so that he wouldn't be upset.

All they had were jungle drums beating the rhythmic message

All this talk about aged lunchmeat and ghosts

All those hours I spent talkin' hockey with him,

All you got to do is just point it out,

All you gotta do is go in there

All you guys get humiliated again.

ALL: Bye, Dave. Good night

ALL: Bye.

ALL: Dave.

ALL: Dorks! Dorks! Dorks! Uh huh.

ALL: Hi, Irene.

ALL: Howie!

ALL: I am.

ALL: Joe!

ALL: Mm hm. Yeah.

ALL: Mr. James. Yeah?

ALL: Oh! Thank you, Mr. James.

ALL: Shaft!

ALL: What?

ALL: Wow.

ALL: Yeah.

ALL: Yeah. Real weird

ALL: Yes?

Almost ready, Mr. James?

Alpha Centauri robot wars still goin' on?

Already did it. In fact,

Alrighty.

Alrighty.

Although chronically underused."

Although it could apply to you.

Although these ads may be written

Although, I did play a An important role

Always loves to do a favor for the big man.

Always on my case.

Always one step ahead of the trends and

Always talkin' about how he's from the Midwest,

Am I right, Dave, huh?

Am I right?

Am I right? He he he. Right.

Amalgamated Turbine.

Amalgamated Turbine.

Amalgamated Turbine.

Amazed by the excellence of our garage door opener.

Amazing.

Amen! You make me proud.

Among intimates like "whassup."

An accomplished businessman,

An authority on this type of highly questionable material.

An hour and a half. Yes.

An impossible time finding the right female voice

An on air editorial.

And [BUZZER RINGS]

And And And just going crazy, really.

And And And so he was out. And And Agent Zero came down.

And And And you know, you're weird, too.

And And Uh huh.

And And besides, what about your career?

And And I'm horribly embarrassed

And 28 minutes of dead air.

And a big foam hand that says "We're number one."

And a boat, an old pickup truck,

And a pair for your son. Compliments of the airline.

And a wonderful leader. Uh huh.

And a young man named Gerald Ford

And accepted him for who he is.

And adjusted my hose.

And after two months he got a hernia.

And all that.

And all the boys wanna talk to you.

And apologize for letting her down. I'll I'll see ya.

And at least you got really, really good

And at night I patrol the streets of Gotham City

And back when I was a DJ, on my college station,

And bail him out?

And beat the hell outta ya.

And because they're weak

And because you locked me out both Both literally

And become known as that crazy old man children taunt

And before you know it you are broadcasting live

And beg the man for a second chance?

And being a black woman in this country

And believe me, we thought about giving up, but...

And besides, nobody Nobody's playing it.

And besides, these cards are anonymous.

And besides, you had no right

And biologically speaking,

And blamed it on ghosts.

And boys are the best. No.

And bring you up to speed once we're in the air.

And by that I mean...

And by you, I mean the six of you who are still watching.

And called the First Lady "Hot Lips."

And calm me down.

And choose again. Darn.

And completely inappropriate.

And could this plastic be, I don't know,

And crush me and that some farm girl

And Dave refuses to send in the reinforcements.

And dedicated to her work as a reporter.

And describes us as the workhorse

And did you? What?

And do the special bow.

And do you wear adult diapers?

And doing it with good humor

And don't dismantle my window.

And don't say hell.

And don't stiff him on the tip

And don't worry, Jimmy.

And donkey urine.

And drag your sorry ass out of my office.

And drove his rental car into a river.

And during, the Watergate affair.

And every Monday we come in, and we

And every year, the staff of WNYX nearly ruins it for me.

And everything else than I do.

And for defamation of character.

And for just generally

And for no good reason, I've thrown it all away.

And for that reason, we can forgive the fact

And for the last time, I am not...obsessing.

And for what?

And forces us to look at them.

And found out I could do long division in my head

And four

And Fuji apples.

And Gandhi was just a lazy little goof

And gave them to you by accident.

And get all this crap off here.

And gets eaten by a deer or something.

And go down to Pharaoh's Cave

And go inside and whip up some snacks for the guests.

And good grace and a strong heart.

And guess what happens in there?

And gum too.

And gum.

And had a talk with the fella, and everything's under control.

And hang up. Don

And have another drink, Boy Scout.

And have dinner.

And have him find out what's so...

And have the machine removed.

And have two children living in New Jersey,

And he He opened up.

And he pretended not to be interested.

And he spends all his time in the basement tying flies

And he was like, "Whoa!" And I was all, "Huh?"

And he was like:

And he's cute. He's this little white dog

And he's not about to let you

And he's one of the most capable and And reasonable and...

And he's sitting right over there.

And here are some pilot wings for you.

And here I am on the ground floor.

And here we are. Outside.

And his feelings about his parents are...

And his lovely lady friend. Oh...

And honest to say?

And honestly from my heart...

And horribly inappropriate jokes you were telling.

And how could that possibly be a bad thing?

And how do you know they're gonna be

And how do you propose to do that?

And how does your girlfriend feel about your virginity?

And how much did you buy it at?

And how old am I?

And I And I have every reason to believe

And I I love kids.

And I am going to take it.

And I am not obsessing.

And I convinced Matthew that we weren't just borrowing

And I do admire all these things

And I don't even look like that.

And I don't know It's Christmas. It'll be fun.

And I don't know what to do about it.

And I don't think Dave

And I don't think the voting members are stupid.

And I don't wanna deny her the pleasure of my company.

And I got ripped off.

And I gotta drag her down to the shop

And I guess he got into an argument

And I hate when I get like that,

And I have to say, Dilbert would never do this.

And I haven't looked back since.

And I haven't seen any ants in the break room.

And I hereby withdraw.

And I I apologize for any

And I I thank you for indulging me and...

And I intend to keep fighting this with Mr. James.

And I just stopped by to say you're fired.

And I just...

And I know Dave's not too happy about that, so...

And I know you as a competent and attractive young reporter.

And I know you don't wanna get married,

And I need someone to play the part of the wife.

And I need someone to play the part of the wife.

And I need someone to read the part of the wife.

And I never really met him.

And I promise in the future we'll find ways to use you more.

And I put mine on notecards.

And I put them there so no one would be offended.

And I read it.

And I seem to be the only one who does.

And I sentence the kid to one month

And I suppose the Authentic Alien Autopsy tape you have

And I think both of us know who should be the first to hear it.

And I think I could take some time to figure in

And I think that stapler is on its last legs as well.

And I tried to jump his fence.

And I wanna give the money back.

And I want to get married.

And I want to spend some time with you."

And I was just joking

And I was like, "Huh?"

And I was thinking,

And I will try to keep the noise down.

And I will.

And I would die for your right to make outrageous claims

And I would probably say,

And I would say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two guys."

And I, and my brother, who's now an alcoholic himself,

And I, uh, threw away the Christmas tree.

And I'd like each person to tell how Matthew's moustache

And I'll do my best to be more sensitive in the future.

And I'll need Mr. McNeal's signature right there.

And I'll pretend to be the bad guy.

And I'm a high school dropout.

And I'm actually 46 years old,

And I'm an electrician.

And I'm gonna be right there on the inside.

And I'm here to tell you that rappers

And I'm kind of a New York a.m. radio tough guy.

And I'm not crazy.

And I'm not gonna do it.

And I'm not gonna jump out from under the table

And I'm not gonna jump out of

And I'm not gonna try to hide it.

And I'm sure you would come back with,

And I'm sure you would then come back with,

And I'm very happy with your performance.

And I'm very sorry,

And I've met a wonderful woman. I've never been happier.

And I've never felt freer.

And I've never really had a role model before...

And if anything goes wrong,

And if I get in your way, just let me know.

And if I get the urge to make myself over,

And if I was that waiter, I'd come over here

And if it's right for her

And if so, are they single?

And if someone's your friend, then you call them your...

And if that means putting on a dumb costume and dressing up,

And if we don't?

And if you do,

And if you go to prison, burn yourself

And if you pick your own name,

And if you really do find it disgusting,

And if you saw the Ultimate Fighting Championship,

And if you waltz in What?

And if you waltz in there

And if you're ever flying into La Guardia,

And in our nation as a whole

And in our nation as a whole

And in the past few years,

And inaccurate.

And it does further your understanding of other

And it hasn't come close to working.

And it is for your suggestion:

And it left a gross, sticky residue.

And it was like, "Boosh!" And I was like, "Whoa!"

And it was like, tick, tick, tick, tick,

And it would have shocked you.

And it's just so It's so hot.

And it's like,

And it's not just the snacks.

And it's very important to me that my genes

And Joe Garrelli.

And just by coincidence, I end up staring

And just jumped right into the sack

And just remember: Everything she tells you is wrong.

And just start screaming obscenities or something?

And kick Tiny Tim in the leg.

And Leather Tuscadero. What?

And lightheaded from the lack of snack food,

And Lisa is Is, uh, Dogbert or something, I don't know

And listen to Dave's gut.

And locked me in the cabinet.

And locked me out of the house,

And MacIntosh apples, and

And made you stand all night in the rain.

And make me look like an idiot?

And Matthew manages to pick out gifts

And may I?

And maybe, just maybe...

And maybe...wrestle a snake.

And mental patients.

And move away from the lady.

And Mr. James suggested to give you a raise.

And my computer.

And my ears are like, "Wah, wah, wah."

And my father shot back, "Poison! I'm saving it for you!"

And my friend, Mr. E here is third."

And my mother said,

And my mother said, "Central's lost a fullback,

And my parents wanted to make him feel part of the family,

And my soldering tools.

And neglecting his personal hygiene.

And no more laughing

And no one, not even you,

And nobody to go with.

And none do it better than you

And none more so than Bill.

And North Dakota are

And not back down.

And not get too upset by this, all right?

And not in St. Louis...?

And not like before when they all sort of hated me, either.

And now just isn't the right time for me.

And now the "McNeal Perspective."

And now they won't give it to me.

And now WNYX welcomes into its studios

And now you feel one upped.

And now you look like a million bucks.

And now, here's The Real Deal, with your host, Bill McNeal.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

And of course, Matthew's from Neptune.

And on and on and on and on,

And on the inside...

And on top of it all, I had to pay Joe a $20 processing fee.

And on weeknights he makes little toys for orphans.

And on, and then, you know,

And one.

And our producer, the lovely Lisa Miller,

And perhaps I couldn't hear you above that infernal racket,

And please don't retaliate, all right?

And plus, it's not like there aren't...

And pretend to be me while I'm gone.

And pretending it's a government report.

And provocative interviews ever put on tape.

And push "Hold." Don't.

And put it in a cup.

And put it in the hat, please. Okay.

And put ourselves into suspended animation for about 50 years,

And quite frankly, this office only has space

And ran 'em through the clothes dryer,