How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) Soundboard Edit

A diamond is a long term commitment.

A diamond is no one night stand

All right. Check that out.

All right. I'm sorry, though.

All's fair in love and war

An amazing woman.

And cut it! Very nice!

And I also listen to women.

And I can't eat in front of him.

And I'm trying to break into the jewelry market right now.

And tell him everything you had to eat that day

And then drive him away,

And thinks I'm a mental person.

And Tone the Bone, here, owes me 20 bucks?

Andie, it's brilliant. It's really moving.

Andie!

Andie. Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Any normal guy would still go running in the other direction

Are gonna be comfortable in their new office?

Are you okay?

Are you saying I'm some kind of mental person?

Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Ben, please.

Besides, why would I need to hit on another woman?

Blonde hair, pretty smile

Brake here on your right. Your gears are on the left.

Bullshit.

Cashmere?

Congratulations. You did it. You just lost him

Damn it! Shit!

Defense!

DeLauer Diamonds is looking for a new ad agency.

Did you guys? I didn't hear what she said.

Do you think you can make a woman fall in love with you by then?

Due to intense humiliation,

Eighty four karats, named for Isadora Duncan

For tonight's game

From now on, feel free to write about anything.

God, I busted my butt in grad school

Green and I have an appointment at Composure,

Guys, let's take a break. A little coffee and nine ball. Shake it up.

Harry Winston

He owes you an apology.

He's got more ice than Liberace, don't you?

He's invited me over for dinner.

He's just not potty trained yet.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Hey, hey. Good morning, Spears.

Hey, if you're going to call it, call it both ways.

Honey, look what I got for us

How can we not have a gulf between us with a tone like that?

How'd you get a key?

I am not running away.

I finished my research on Deadly Pedicures,

I hate it when she pops her head in like that

I have a masters in journalism from Columbia

I know it. You are the only one that knows us both.

I respect women, all right?

I understand you've been an inspiration to Ben in more ways than one.

I used to obsess over Mike's old girlfriends.

I was just wondering if you find...

I will call and schedule an emergency session.

I'd do some things differently, you know.

I'm telling you, this calls for drastic measures.

I'm too fat

I've never seen a more exciting game played before.

If I had a nickel for every time I got in a fistfight during a chick flick..

If only you knew what I just dealt with.

In the comfort of my own home, this evening.

It was the best week of my life.

It's like, when I talked to his mother, he freaked out.

Knicks ball.

Knicks call a 20 second timeout.

Krull, the Warrior King.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I ask you all kindly to be seated.

Ladies and gentlemen, you do not want this young lady to leave the room.

Let's start you off with the main dish

Listen, don't make any plans for day 13, okay?

Look at you. That's pretty damn cute

Make a woman fall in love with diamonds, Benjamin, or with you?

Make all the time.

Marvin!

Maybe 'cause you named my penis

Methinks thou doth protesteth too much.

Most of the women in this bar are looking for just that.

Mr. Marvin Hamlisch.

No

No need, my friend. I'll be watching the Knicks

No. No guy would go running from you, Andie

Now I'm gonna go back inside and finish watching Sleepless in Seattle.

Obviously, if I could do it over again,

Occasionally. I mean, I could kick that up a notch.

Of all the women Spears and Green could have thrown at me,

Oh, man

Oh, no. It's more than okay.

Oh. Well, the smells, that's Uncle Arnold. I mean...

Okay, well, then do you have an ashtray or something I can throw up in?

Quietly.

Salacious gossip, that's Composure

Samples. Samples. Great idea.

She has alternate transportation.

She really hugged me

Sir? Excuse me, sir. Could you please pull the car over?

So I'm gonna look at my hand I'm gonna see what I've got, here

So that's what I was, huh? I was a guinea pig.

So we go to twos. Let's see. I got myself one deuce here.

Some sounds a little too indefinite. I'll give you three.

Something like Spike or Butch

Sounds like you've been peeking through my bag, Ben.

Sprewell for the win

Sun's out.

Sweetheart.

Sweetie, that's a good thing.

Take a look around this room, Phillip

Take care of our love fern, honey.

Tell him to enjoy his short lived, ill gotten victory.

Thank you very much. I really do...

Thank you.

Thanks, Lana.

That is both incredibly disgusting and categorically untrue.

That would be huge.

That's not one of my songs.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm thinking about.

The girl has known about the bet from the beginning.

The party's a week from Sunday.

Then you can write about whatever you want

There we go. Work it around.

There's a beautiful young woman in a yellow dress that I must go to.

This is all right. We got 20 seconds. A 20 second T.

To take me to that game.

Tomorrow night I'll...

True or false?

Two

Uncle Ben! Hi!

Wait, wait. Hey. Hey. You okay?

Warren wants to move on it aggressively

Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime or anything.

Well, it looks like you've got some competition, anyway.

Well, it's all about reading people.

Well, you are welcome. Listen, I had a wonderful time last night

Well, you must need it back, what with all the cash, credit cards

What if I couldn't get to you?

What is that, seven in a row, Sparky?

What the hell's a love fern?

What's wrong?

Where are you going?

Where is the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew?

Which is like a lot of our readers

Who's Princess Sophia?

Why 10 days?

Why do they always forget my bacon?

Yeah

Yeah, and we're the sneakers and beer division.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I got a Knicks game on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know what? Big deal.

Yeah.

Yes, it was, but I have to think in terms of who's best suited

You can make the pitch to the DeLauers

You don't mess with my man, Ben.

You had one eye in the mirror

You had your hat pulled down real strategically over one eye

You happen to know the score of the Knicks game?

You know, men frequently call their friends' answering machines

You made me miss the big game!

You see, Mom's never been that great at it, but why?

You see, the key to this game is being able to read people

You wanna go to the game?

You're not gonna burn his apartment down or bite him or anything, are you?

You're welcome

Your scarf it was apricot

And Joey, here... You're so handsome!

and then I'll go up and get it. I'm really thirsty.

Buck around the horn. See it

But, Phillip, you can't... I've made up my mind.

Call. All right, guys, read them and weep.

Charge! Go, baby.

DeLauer would be our biggest account. Yes, sir, they would.

Good luck. Thank you, Phil.

Good. Healthy.

He can't help it

He goes, Woof, woof. Yeah, thank you, buds

Hey, Benny bear? Hey.

Hey, it's done. All right? What? What? Couples therapy.

Hi! Hi.

Hold 'em up! Charge!

How about glitter? Thayer's favorite movie.

How do you think that makes me feel? I'm not ashamed of you.

How you doing? Just a little indigestion.

I am Frederic. Andie Anderson

I do not have a problem. You have a problem.

I do. Okay.

I love sharing this with you. Yeah

Look who made the trip with me. It's our love fern!

Oh, good. You know the guys? Everybody.

Okay, so that's gonna... Michelle.

Okay. Okay?

Okay. Yes?

Phil? Agreed.

Really? I hope so.

Right? Good.

So who's the lucky girl? Okay.

Sweetie? How much is it?

That's right. Ben's starting a little card collection.

That's right. I heard that

Two eights. Bullshit.

Uncle Arnold says he's got three kings. Yeah, right.

What? Warren gave it to the Judys

What? What is that? Do something... You, outside!

When are you seeing him again? Tonight.

Why this place? Because it's perfect.

With a lime. With a lime. All right, all right.

Wow! Look at him go. What is it?

Yes, sir. Such beauty should be celebrated.

You cried? Yeah

You're bad. Enjoy.