Summer School (1987) Soundboard Edit

A couple of days.

All right, where are my car keys?

All right.

Am I in really big trouble?

And Pam went from a 53 to an 82.

And Shoop...

And then my Aunt Edna, she kisses me.

And we hope your organization will see no need to boycott.

Anna Maria, as far as we know, this has never, ever been attempted

Anna Maria, we dedicate these cantaloupe to you.

Any other questions?

Because we'll be helping Shoop and you won't think I'm a shit. Right?

Because you got these mini pads.

Big deal.

Big guy. OK

Bottom line, you need my recommendation for tenure.

But I'm sure that you'll enjoy their joie de vivre

But now that I know, I'll keep my eye out.

But we need a teacher. What do you say, Mr. Shoop?

C, C, C,

Can I call my folks and say I won't be home..

Chainsaw, Dave, wait a minute

Chainsaw. Last score was a 6. This time, 59. Monster comeback

Come back, you dumb dildo. Wait, no, you're not a dildo

Come in, come in, Mrs. Eakian

Coming through

Dad's late. He's so irresponsible.

Dear Mr. Francis Gremp, thank you for informing us

Didn't this Murray ask to see proof of age?

Do not open the test booklets until you are told to do so

Don't anybody move.

Don't be a pig. No.

Don't you ever, ever yell at the driver! Do you hear me?

Drop them!

Eakian, this party's getting weak

Everybody take a seat. You, in the cot, out of bed.

Everybody take their textbooks out and turn to chapter seven.

Find the hooligan that's responsible,

From Murray's Liquor.

Get them off! Get them off me!

Girl, this ain't the Riviera

God, so very, very wrong.

God, this is hard.

Good luck, gang.

Good morning, young people.

Good thinking.

Great, I'll let you.

Great.

Had to go for the ditch

He's back, ladies and gentlemen!

Hello, Mr. Shoop.

Hey, get me a brew.

Hey, I mean it

Hey, Mr. Shoop, wow. You in this class too?

Hey, this is your fault. You knew I couldn't teach

Hi, honey, how was your day?

His wonderfully gruesome slime bladders and slobber tubes

Hold it, Gills

How am I gonna tell you I love him when it's so new?

How do you teach?

I don't know what's wrong. Every... Everything's blank.

I got a radio, blanket, beach chair, dark glasses, dog.

I have to talk to you.

I just hope having a maid

I know this is none of my business, but what the hell is going on in there?

I like you that much

I made a new friend

I mean, if you could be 17 again,

I mean, the key to the whole thing is timing.

I need you to teach summer school. Dearadorian just quit.

I need your car.

I passed! Oh, I passed! I passed!

I stayed sober for this. You can't do this

I think these are fair and reasonable requests.

I thought we'd go to the beach and have a picnic

I turned you down for dinner at least a dozen times

I understand

I was hoping for a headache or pounding temples,

I won! I won!

I'll tell you something. You know why so many drunk drivers get in wrecks?

I'll think about it.

I'm afraid Robin and I are on our way out of town.

I'm not kidding around

I'm sure they'll grow up to be wonderful criminals

I'm surprised. I found the Screwdriver simply delightful.

If I let you stay here,

If you're not doing anything tomorrow, I thought we could do something

In Anna Maria's honor

Is he OK?

It's a simple matter of renegotiating our contracts.

It's mine

It's not necessary

It's OK. I'll meet you at the airport. I'll get a cab. Take Wondermutt.

It's somewhere in this room

It's starting

Larry, you're awake, with homework

Last name first, first name second, middle initial last on the first line

Listen, man, you can't tell anybody, OK? They think I'm 21

Look at this puppy. 50,000 big ones.

Look. We'll study in school, after school, whatever it takes.

Looking good, Denise. Good luck

Mom freaked out.

Mr. Gills extends his warmest personal regards and best wishes

Mr. Gills, I cannot study. I'm going to the library.

Mr. Shoop, everybody else got their wish.

Mr. Shoop, I do hope we can get you out of this ugly mess. And it is ugly

Mr. Shoop's been making a lot of progress in his class, Phillip.

My mistake, I forgot where I put them. You're ice cold.

My name is Robin Elizabeth Bishop

No, he's a neighborhood dog.

No, thank you?

No.

No. I'm gonna listen to their parents.

Now, I promise you, you people act like psychopaths tomorrow

Now, sit down.

Now?

Oh, bye bye, Freddy

Oh, don't be a wuss

Oh, I can sew that

Oh, I gotta tell you, I love this film.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, Shoop, I understand.

OK, Denise, start her up

OK, Shoop.

OK, start her up

OK, tonight, for homework,

OK. Tell you something you can do for me.

One little fire

One of my all time faves

Only you knew then what you know now

Out of my way!

Pam

Pam, Robin Bishop.

Please accept these Cool Dudes with our compliments.

Please?

Please.

Ready.

Right now you're very cold

Right. That shouldn't take as long today

Robin, let's get out of here

Robin?

Rules of grammar.

Run, run

See? Double negative.

Shake those buns, baby!

So you're single. In love? Involved? What's the story here?

Somebody better call the school nurse!

Sorry I'm late.

Sure, Denise

Talk about gutsy endings

Thanks.

Thanks. So are you.

That the vodka found in the possession

That was the old word. My new one is money.

That was your fault.

That's not a real person. It's a stuntman

That's right. It's his.

The computer made an error

The easiest thing to do is base your lesson plans

The grunion are running tonight

The line moved fast.

The Screwdriver was a disappointment.

The test scores won't save you, because they're losers, just like you!

Then we work a couple hours after school.

There's a very valid reason for summer vacation

There's room to negotiate

These aren't real students. They're unmotivated, irresponsible.

This is blackmail.

This is serious. You gotta get her some help.

This officer is here to see that there is no cheating

This officer is here to see that there is no cheating

This one was in the parking lot with a surfboard

This time he's got her making breakfast stark raving naked.

Three, two, one!

Today was phenom

Very cute.

Very scary. You must be a good teacher.

Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very...

Very, very, very, very, very, very..

Wait! Is this the same guy that took his English class to the petting zoo?

Wait.

Wanna go out and not eat Chinese?

Watch your ass, folks! Banzai!

We going on the freeway?

We'll see you at the movies

Weddings, graduations.

Well, I'll let you return to your rigorous pursuit

Well, it'll happen from time to time.

What are you doing here?

What have we learned this year?

What is wrong with you people?

What noise? I don't hear any noise. What, you got dog ears?

What we have to offer.

What would it take to have dinner with you?

What's it like being pregnant?

When do we get to see the whippersnapper?

When I say bite in the ass, I mean that in the nicest possible way

Who are you talking to?

Whose is it?

Why don't we take some field trips?

Why? You want everyone to go home?

Will you have dinner with me?

With tongue. And rips off my mask.

Wondermutt, go get Bob.

Would you?

Writing paragraphs

Yeah, Teamsters! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!

Yeah. It's open

You ever do that with one of your students?

You expect me to relate to the written word

You get every kid left in your class to pass that skills test

You know Murray. Everybody knows Murray.

You know, I grew up surfing those same waves

You make me proud to be an American. Dave, kiss this man.

You were a black Marine in 1968?

You were fabulous. This is from both of us.

You'll notice your grade cards are blank

You're almost fun tonight

You're up for tenure. You want a job next year?

You're very spiritual

Your Honor, to keep a couple of students out of trouble

Your idea of quality education?

All we need is a hospital. What can I do?

And... Wait 20 more seconds

But a nice change. Truly. Thumbs up

Chainsaw, stop doing that. Stop doing what?

David was doing his homework too. It makes sense,

Didn't he teach remedial English? Well, yes..

Do you know such a guy? Oh, they're hard to find.

Do you wanna go with me? What about Mr

Hey, we're testing in here. I know, I'm in your class

Hi, I'm Dave. Ciao.

Hi, I'm Dave. Ciao.

I wouldn't mind at all. Great.

Minors drinking on the beach. Seriously, we never do this.

Mr. Shoop, I gotta book. What? You just got here

No kidding? Swear to God. Reality is so unreal.

Oh, I love that movie. Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Oh, I see smoke. You are on fire!

Oh, yeah, that's in here. It's in there.

Please. All right

Rhonda Altobello. Here.

She's having a baby? Oh, I wanna see this

Shit, yes! Hey, watch your fucking language!

Something wrong? No, nothing.

The pizza. Mussolini.

There he is. Leatherface, Leatherface

Thumbs up from me. Same here

To sum it up, I'm Chainsaw. I'm Dave

Twenty seconds. ...stop. Pencils down.

What are you watching? Do the dance.

What happened to football, buddy? Yeah.

Yeah

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a party with a band. I could use some wheels bad.

Yes. Don't wet your pants. Watch this

You like Chinese? I hate it.

You're not a quitter. I am.

...intellect.