The BFG Edit

A frightsome curd bloodling troggle humper

A giant put you there.

A golden fizzwizard. I don't see much of them any more.

A little chiddler, with her whole life ahead of her.

A little gift for Your Majester.

A long chittery chat on the phone with the President.

A pour?

A Whizzpopper?

A whizzpopper.

Adventures'd come and go.

After all, you's only a little thing.

Ah, now you is asking me to tell you whuppsie big secrets.

All bubbles go up.

All giant's is drinking frobscottel.

All the secret whisperings of the world.

All the time they is arguing about who will be the most pretty buttery flies.

All the time they is searching for sleeping.

And a place you'll never go.

And all the human beans would be rummaging and wiffling for the giant what you saw

And bows and says..

And full stop. The port side sir.

And funnies ahead for her.

And getting wildly excited, and then they'd be locking me up in a cage

And gigi raffes are giraffes. Crocodile dillys are crocodiles

And he hands the phone to the boy.

And he says Yes sir. He is here, sir. Yes sir. Yes sir.

And he's saying, 'Who? What? Yes sir. I understand. Surely, sir. "

And hippo dumplings are hippopotamuses.

And his da, he tells her, and then, and so on and so on and so on.

And his da, his eyes is googling out of his head.

And I intend to stop them.

And I steal sometimes, and I lie.

And I was happy.

And if those whuppsie belly poppers out there does their job,

And never look behind the curtains!

And never look behind...

And plucked the children out with their fingers.

And slow.. ahead.

And something to wear?

And that's where you is. In giant country now.

And the Gizzard Gulper

And the Meat Dripper

And the radio squeaker.

And the..

And then he takes the phone, the boy, and he, he's having

And then he's gasping like he has a lobster stuck in his throat.

And then his face turns white and his eyes pop out of his head.

And then his ma, she comes into the room

And then there would be a giganteous look see giant hunt for all of the boys.

And then there would be a great rumple dumpus, wouldn't there.

And then what happens?

And there be no forgiveness.

And they are eating little children.

And they were just going to have to get used to it.

And up. Up. Careful, up, up.

And water.

And water. And water

And were being eaten by the most ghastly giants.

And what does we have here?

And where exactly is giant country, sir.

And you can hear the stars.

And you wakes up.

Anyway, I didn't steal you very much.

Are they nice, like you're nice?

Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting these?

Are you thinking of a plan?

As a dream comes whiffling by,

As if you were some foul and hideous thing...

Assistance.

At one point someone..

Be sure to put some army in it.

Be sure you have a little of me.

Bean.

Because BFG hears all the secret whispering of the world.

Because I hears his little heart.

Because the first thing you'd be doing, you'd be scuddling around, yodelling the news

Because you keep me awake with your jabbling.

Beings, not beans.

BFG will chart a course for you.

BFG, did you hear my heart at the orphanage?

BFG, did your mother or father teach you about dreams?

BFG, stop. You're going to knock me off.

BFG, the queen would really like to meet you.

BFG, what did you do with my blanket?

BFG, you say you can hear ants talk and spiders spin.

BFG!

BFG! I's all of a stutter!

BFG?

BFG?

BFG? Do you have a plan?

BFG.

BFG. Be brave.

BFG. Do you have a plan?

BFG. I'm asking if you have a plan.

Big Friendly Giant!

Big Friendly Giant.

Blood Bottler. Blood Bottler?

Boggled up giant sometimes. Deliver us from weasels.

Boggswinkles!

Boggswinkles! What was that?

Brave Sophie.

But I did dream it.

But if the bubbles in your tummy go down and come out...

But in the end, she remembers the good deeds.

But not by giants.

But not here.

But not in giant country.

But snascombers were still growing beside his cottage

But somehow they all come out squish squiddled round.

But the funniest, the funniest old stories I always..

But then I wake up.

But then it be too late.

But what does it say?

But why did you bring me here?

But will I still have you? Will you still hear me when I call for you?

But you is not very clever.

But you'll be leaving me here with them. They WILL eat me.

But, the inside is smelly something sweetly familiar.

Butcher Boy.

Can you still hear me?

Careful of the antiques, sir.

Cattlepiddlars though. They is the worst chatbags.

Cheers.

Children have disappeared in the night. Gone. Taken.

Climb all those steps, to get all the ways up theres.

Come down from there, child.

Come on lads!

Come on, down you go.

Curse you, be Runt.

Dear. Come here.

Delumptious fizzy frobscuttel.

Did he? Did he?

Did I fall asleep?

Did you add yourself?

Do you actually hear what these dreams say?

Does he always talk like that?

Does he like music? We have bagpipes.

Does you have a new little petty poo.

Doesn't seem to have stunted his growth at all.

Don't be like that. Have you never tried that for a stump eater.

Don't just take it. Do something.

Don't worry. That happens to everyone.

Draw the curtains.

Dream blowing.

Dreams are so quick.

Dreams aren't things.

Dreams is actually very mysterious things.

Dreams.

Everything about you goes against all my better judgementals, gal.

Ey, what is you reading?

Eyes wild and heavy. You can.. you can read!

Flesh Head, he'll come and eat me, my blood will be on your hands.

Flesh Lump Eater, Bone Cruncher.

Follow me. That's it, sir.

For is making a tiny little buzzing, humming sound, like music

For the rest of my life.

For the rest of our lives.

Frobscottel.

Frobscuttel?

Frolic, you know..

Frolic.

Gah. It's horrible.

Generals, BFG.

Gentlemen, your men will follow the BFG.

Get out! This be my home!

Giant country.

Giant country..

Giants don't have mothers or fathers.

Giants is all murdererful and cannibals.

Giants, Boris. Man eating giants. Have people been disappearing?

Giants.

Giants. Giants!

Gimmee it. Gimmee it. Give't here.

Give it here, give it me,

Give it me.

Gizzard Gulper, go long.

Gizzard Gulper, Maid Masher

Go on, get out!

Go on, make yourself useful, little frogglefrump.

Go on. please.

Have pity on a poor little giant!

He felt as though the light were re proach, and shrunk

He find the last one.

He had fruits and berries, cauliflower and tomatoes

He liked to read. He taught me how to read.

He made your dream. Did he?

He refused to have Brussels sprouts, though,

He was happy

He's magnificent, your giant.

He's my best friend.

He's never really been in a house before.

Heh. In your little nightie.

Hello little missy. Don't little missy me!

Hello, beautiful dream.

Help me!

Help me!

Help!

Her Majesty the Queen.

Here we go. We have to go right past all those sleeping giants.

Here.

Here. Look. It's the very dream you had.

Hey, is you not all fridgedy cold?

Hide, hide behind there.

His cape was hanging by the door.

His da he answers it and he says..

Horrible. Man eating giants!

How absolutely what's the word squiffling.

How else would he make frobscuttel?

How in the world did you get there?

How is you punished?

How kind.

How old are you?

I am so pleased to make your acquaintance.

I believe in the BFG.

I blows my dreams about.

I can stop you.

I can't help thinking about your poor mother and father, they must be...

I can't see you!

I cannot be helpin it if I sayin' things a little squiggly.

I cannot be right all the time.

I catch dreams.

I could see all the way to giant country,

I could see the garden BFG was growing.

I could see the scattered pages of the book he was writing.

I could've brought him back home..

I couldn't.

I do something, eh? I do something.

I don't be seein' many of them anymore.

I don't believe it.

I don't dream, actually. I've got insomnia.

I don't have a mother or father.

I dreamed that girls and boys were snatched out of their beds in boarding schools

I feel you're here. I know you're here.

I finds this one.

I goes and catch dreams, same as every day. I goes alone.

I got one!

I had a dream last night.

I had the most horrible dream.

I had to take you.

I has a boo boo.

I has no regrets.

I hates fruits and vegeterribles.

I hates vegeterribles. I eats only beans.

I have a plan. A plan?

I have instincts.

I have promised him that you will go only once to giant country.

I hear it from the plants and the trees themselves.

I hear the footsteps of a ladybird as she walks across a leaf.

I hears a lament.

I hears his lonely heart, just as I hears yours

I is bad!

I is going alone.

I is going dream catching.

I is warning you.

I knows exactly what words I want to say

I knows it.

I left me trumpet at Her Majesters.

I lives with nine bean eating giants.

I locks them up, wicked beastie.

I need a plan.

I need a plan. I need a plan.

I saw his long legs leaping, suitcase and trumpet in hand.

I saw his rocking chair and the fire burning in the fireplace.

I saw the crow's nest, and his sailor boat bed.

I saw the stone door and the crooked windows.

I shared you a secret.

I smells bean, Runt.

I sneak out at night too

I suppose we should.

I talk to him and he actually hears me,

I tell you I was guzzling that wonder veg gleefully night and day.

I think I dropped it in giant country.

I think it comes at 3 in the morning,

I think you would remember that, Your Majesty, if the mixing went well.

I thought you had it there. Where is it? In my other... In the cape?

I told you. I didn't dream,

I walk to the window and against the horizon

I want to come.

I WILL run away.

I will. Oh, he will.

I wish I could hear it.

I won't tell a soul. How could I, anyway?

I won't tell.

I won't tell. I wouldn't ever.

I.. I didn't know that.

I'll call the coppers, I will do it.

I'm going to call you BFG.

I'm not! I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm ready.

I'm so, so, so sorry, Your Majesty.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.

I'm stuck here for the rest of my life.

I'm such a mixed up

I'm trying to listen to the different breathing of manly bean and lady bean.

I's a feature of habit.

I's always hungry.

I's come with my little friend Sophie to give you a...

I's got it.

I's have a booboo.

I's hearing all the wondrous, and all the terrible.

I's hearing far away music coming from those stars in the sky.

I's hearing the tiny little ants chittering to each other as they skiddle about in the soil.

I's hungry.

I's hungry. It's time for eats.

I's not having the foggiest idea in the wonky world.

If the dream does its job, they wakes trapped in flush bunkun remorse.

In 10 hours, the giants will once again be on the hunt

In the dream I was awakened by a beautiful buzzing humming noise floating above my bed.

In your scraps. It's nice.

Instincts. I always thought human beans was full of brains,

Into thin air.

Involuntarily from the day

Is he? Is he?

Is like strawbunkles and cream to those giants out there

Is sitting on her window sill. Then, she wakes up, and I am there.

Is so silvery soft,

Is that right?

Is there not, Mr. Tibbs.

Is you at home, Runt?

Is you knowing the President of the United States, he asks.

Is.. something the matter?

It be a personable for rent.

It be a trogglehumper.

It be as good as I can do.

It be time, BFG.

It is very soft.

It says...

It seems to know you, gal.

It tells the story of a little girl.

It was so bloody, so vivid, so real.

It was the witching hour

It won't be like that.

It's a fizzwizard.

It's behind you on your elbow.

It's delumptious.

It's fizzing the wrong way.

It's fizzing the wrong way. Our bubbles go up.

It's glummy!

It's just all rather hard to believe.

It's just..

It's me you wish to be speaking to, not my little boy.

It's on your bottom!

It's over, Flesh Lump Eater. It's over, boy.

It's pumpkin pie, not frumpkin fry.

It's so odd, ma'am. So very odd.

It's this horrible stinky vegetable and I'm afraid it's all he has to eat.

It's time to stop now.

It's time to wake up, darling.

Jump, Sophie.

Just like you and me.

Just look at those bubbles.

Let it go, Sophie.

Let me get your tea.

Let me handle this ma'am, come down.

Let's get on with it. Let's get on with it.

Like now.

Like, always.

Listen. Listen, you.

Little chiddlers of her own, too, someday.

Look at me!

Look at the puffers! Rain be comin'.

Look at what you has done, and there be no forgiveness.

Look at what you is done.

Look, it is a golden fizzwizard.

Look!

Look!

Make them all happy.

Make them stop. Make them stop.

Man Hugger, Child Chewer, Meat Dripper,

Marvellous bubbles.

Mary, take her downstairs and get her some breakfast,

Mary.

Matron thinks the witching hour arrives at midnight.

Me?

Me? Gobbling up human beings? Do you mind!

Mince my maggots! I think this be a very, very bad dream.

Monsters.

Morning, Sophie.

Mr. Tibbs, find out where she comes from.

Mr. Tibbs.

Mr. Tibbs. Tell the guards to stand down.

My 24 foot, puddin nuts in giant country.

My little froggle frump.

My name is Sophie.

Nancy, is Ronnie there?

Needs must.

Needs must. Now, stand back, gal.

Needs must. Scary as you can make it.

Never get out of bed, never go to the window

Never get out of bed.

Never go to the window.

Never mind that now.

Never?

Nicholas Nickleby

No I wouldn't.

No no. He's just afraid. He's never done anything like this in his whole life before.

No one would listen to me anyway. I'm an untrustworthy child.

No such place..

No water.

No, help!

No, horrible.

No, I'm not.

No, I's sorry to say the boys would eat you up in one dollop.

No, never.

No, nevermind.

No, no, don't do that.

No, no, no. No water.

No, no, sir, you'll bungle it up sir, if you do it all your way. "

No, not in a month of Mondays, gal.

No, says the boy, but I suspect he's hearing about me.

No, stop. No! No! No no no.

No, you has more dreams to catch,

No! Not that elbow, the other one!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I hate it.

No. No no

Nobody should.

Not like it happens to me, I speaking the most terrible wigglish.

Not possible.

Not to ever go wifflin' out of this cave without I is with you.

Now it's on your foot.

Now let me down Flesh. Let the boys sleep in the day.

Now, Runt!

Now, Sophie, I know

Now, where did I put the...

Now.. you is stayin' here.

Of straight lines.

Oggle frunk.

Oh Majester, oh monarcher, oh ruler..

Oh my.

Oh my.

Oh my.

Oh no, Sophie.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh Runtie, is you at home.

Oh yeah. Sorry.

Oh, woopsie splunkers!

Oh!

Oh. That is glummy. Good bye snascomber!

On the outside, they's long on the inside.

Once, we giants, we be gentries.

Ooh, is loathesome.

Or you is coming to an ucky mucky end.

Oy!

People...

Please BFG, start.

Please don't eat me.

Please, Majester. What is this horrible swig pill I was drinking, Majester?

Please, take me home. I'm scared, I want to go home.

Poor BFG his coffee please.

Possibly later.

Queen's garden. Rear window, please.

Quite often I's left, instead of right.

Really?

Rear garden, rear garden please.

Right, out, all of you!

Right, out!

Right, you be giving your queenie

Right. I'll just have to fetch some water

Runt!

Runt!

Runt!

Runt. Run Sophie, run.

Scrum diddly umptious!

See, they snooze lents, so hold your breath, cross your fingers.

She has crazy rules and you get punished a lot.

She is standing right there, ma'am.

She locks you in a dark cellar. There are rats down there.

Simply beautifully.

Sir.

Skitter scatter boys. Find me the chiddler.

Slow ahead, careful.

So I had to take him, ipswitch.

So I'm lonely most of the time. I've never had a best friend,

So it was much scarier than it needed to be.

So real, Mary.

So they must know you was there.

So you gonna stay in a nice safe place right here.

So you is an orphan?

So? You is not safe with me.

Somebody's selky's is cryin' for their darlin'.

Someone called me "the big, friendly giant."

Someplace else,

Sometimes two different things.

Sophie, dear, do start.

Sophie, hide.

Sophie.

Sounds like you are that.

Stand down, gentlemen, please. Stand down.

Steady. Yes sir.

Take him away!

Terrible, terrible things.

Thank you, I'm sure you have, but not in my dressing gown.

That could have a far nastier result.

That is a scrumptious snascomber. It's fresh.

That is the nicest present that anybody has ever given me in my entire life.

That story be your hearts desire.

That was Louis quatorze.

That's it. Hard to port.

That's what I said

That's what I said. I said it

The BFG.

The Butcher Boy?

The children just disappeared.

The curtain.

The dream, it came to you, didn't it? It be Sophie's dream.

The filthy old fizzwiggler.

The generals have been briefed, ma'am.

The giants put their hands in through the windows,

The giants were taken far, far away

The girls say 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning.

The matron who runs it is incompetent and

The other foot.

The other giants..

The outside is horrigust.

The Queen sent them off with snascomber seeds. It was all they would have to eat

The Queen will dream that giants, all nine of them, are in England.

The Queen will dream, that a little girl

The troggle humper I caught. You're giving it to the giants?

Then I think we stands a chance.

Then, he seen me, like you did.

Then, who are you? What kind of a monster are you?

There aint no place to go

There are more of you?

There bad dreams here too?

There is indeed, ma'am.

There is only one word for that, Majester.

There was a boy.

There was so many of them.

There was the Flesh Lump Eater.

There you has me right.

There.

There.

There'll be great successfuls

There's a small girl standing on the window sill.

There's so such a twitch tickling problem to me all my life.

They both died when I was a baby.

They is soundin' asleep.

They takes, so I gives back.

They's swallowpin' up human beans like they's sugar lumps.

This be my home.

This be my work, boys!

This be my work.

This be where all my dreams is beginning.

This I never.

This is a story that beggars belief, but we don't have the time.

This one sounds like you.

This room is so gigantous I's needed bi circulars and telescopes

This way, sir. Just follow me

Those days are over.

Those giants, they'd swallow you up like a piece of frumpkin fry.

Thoughts hurried 'n disordered.

Time to hunt. Time to hunt!

Times'd be hard, times'd be soft.

Titchy little snapper whippers like you should not be higgling around with old sage and onions like me.

To a place you've never heard of

To be looked at with all the squiggling

To giant country.

To give me what?

To see what's going on at either end.

To the BFG

To work. What do you do for work?

Too hot! Too hot! Too hot! Too hot!

Truth to tell, just a dribble of despair.

Uh hum.

Unless you has wings

Up? Up?

Upward going bubbles gives a filths of belchy burp.

Us giants is mostly just going on and on and on. Like whiffsea time twiddlers.

Wait! Wait!

Was the boy scared?

We are going to the Queen. We really really need her help.

We are there.

We can be there by dawn.

We can't have secrets. I'll tell you mine.

We gets over it. We gets on with it.

We has brought the hunt to giant country.

We have to stop them.

We have verifiable intelligence.

We is not wanting a giant's hunts, is we?

We might need air clearance. I'll get back to you.

We will hold here.

We'll stop the giants. We'll make them go away forever.

We're on our way to giant country.

We's all awake now, we might as well...

We's here at last.

Well I'm right about this one. I promise I am.

Well sit down. Mary, sit.

Well, I think you speak beautifully.

Well, I's.. as old as the earth, I suppose. I get a little bit crumply...

Well, it's as good as I can do.

Well, jump. Sophie.

Well, keep at it.

Well, let me take care of it, Mr. President.

Well, no, it couldn't be, could it ma'am.

Well, only a dream, ma'am.

Well, that's what's wrong with you.

Well, the boy, he's dreaming that the telephone is ringing in his house.

Well, there be my dreams disappeared into a thick ear.

Well, they'd eat you either way.

Well, wake him.

Well, you's a big boy. You take care of your boo boos yourself now.

Well. Then a Big Friendly Giant steps forward

Well...

Were you happy there?

What a whupsi spliffering room we is in.

What be your pleasure, missy?

What does the bad dream say?

What does the dream say?

What is it?

What is Sophie's dream?

What is that green fizz?

What shall I call you, gal?

What the matter, dear? You're white as a sheet.

What?

What?

What're you going to do with it?

What's frolic?

What's in those jars?

What's snascomber?

What's that? What's all that foam?

What's that? What's that black stuff.

What's that? What's that?

What's wrong with a little burp now and then?

When I'm lonely, which is not nearly as often as before

When I'm the only one left awake

When people go missing.

When the bogey man comes out.

Where am I?

Where are you going next?

Where are you?

Where is it?

Where is the delicious little chat bay?

Where'd you get the jacket?

Where're you going?

Where's you gallopping off to in the daytime, Runt?

Who is you jabbling to, Runt?

Why are you giving me a dream?

Why are you giving me a dream?

Why are you giving me a.. dream?

Why did you take me?

Why don't you have that snascomber?

Why have you and your giant come to see me?

Why here?

Why is you not sleeping today?

Why is you such a chatbag in the morning?

Why you not hunt with us, Runt?

Wish I was a long, long way.

With a family of her own.

With a much nicer stew cooking.

With throbbing veins and burning skin.

Words.

Would he prefer tea?

Would prefer frobscuttel.

Would you clear off! There are children trying to sleep.

Would Your Majester be so kind as to honor me with...

Yeah, go on. Go on boy. Get your lips around that, that is lovely.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I hears it right now.

Yeah, it'd be a distance.

Yeah, the sign of true happiness.

Yeah, they is living and growing, laughing and chittering

Yeah, we might as well frolic.

Yeah, well, there you has me right..

Yeah, well..

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you could. Use your hands, your tetchy little finglers.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah. And the Butcher Boy.

Yeah. In the end.

Yeah. We would have some galumptious whizzpopping music.

Yeah. Well, what I says and what I means,

Yeah. Yeah!

Yes you are. You is human bean and human bean

Yes you would.

Yes you would. No I wouldn't!

Yes you would. No I wouldn't.

Yes, he did, ma'am. He's waiting in the garden now.

Yes, I's giving the boys the most horridest dream of despair.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, this is Mr. Goulash speaking.

Yes, Your Majesty. He's never had schooling.

Yes. I remember.

Yes. We do. Should we call for him now?

Yes. You took me from an orphanage.

You are a very bad giant.

You be snug as a bug up there.

You calls me what you likes.

You can be seen by snoopers and bring a giant's hunts.

You can't have secrets from me. It's too late for that.

You can't keep living like this, BFG.

You can't stop me. I've run away a 1000 times.

You did that!

You didn't dream it.

You didn't know?

You do? What else.

You do? You really do?

You don't come in here any more!

You don't?

You dropped it in giant country.

You dropped your blanket.

You has a bean.

You has me wrong.

You hates vegetables, you eats only beans.

You have a plan. You need me.

You haven't seen the papers? No, I haven't seen them yet.

You is a cannibal!

You is barking up the wrong dog, There ain't no bean here.

You know I's going off to my work.

You know, hypo dumplings and croco down dillies and gigi raffes.

You live on some rotten garbage, Runt.

You mean she actually sees me?

You mean, of my life.

You must be famished.

You must take me. No.

You promise you won't hurt him, ma'am?

You promised you wouldn't hurt him.

You shouldn't let them treat you like that.

You snatched me.

You think I's swiss fingering you don't you?

You were actually seeing a giant.

You won't put him in the bunkum house?

You would be telling the whole wonky world most likely on the tele tele bunkum box

You. You is an insult to giant people.

You. You is insult to giants.

You.. is jabbling.

You'll not be finding it a second time.

You're bladdered, the lot of you!

You're just going to have to be staying here with me.

You're trembling. What is it?

You's in dream country now, missy.

You's not safe with me, gal.

You's wearing his little red jacket.

Youe Majester, I is your humbug servant.

Your cape, sir.

Your Majesty, I am your humble servant.

Your Majesty?

Your Majesty.

Your Majesty. I am your humble servant.