Bridget Jones's Baby Edit

A babbling brook! [ IMITATES URINATION ]

A boy! A boy!

A boy. A boy!

A cynical political expedient to take away

A glass of wine. A whiskey, please.

A lady is always prepared.

A little chunkier, much less make up.

A little stray gray hair there.

A lot has changed. I mean, you've been married,

A margherita with onion and pineapple, number 17. I thank you.

A mile and a half to go.

A nice flat, a lovely job. Nice flat!

A positive mental attitude is stronger than any drug.

A task shared between the many tribesmen.

About that,

About the number of sodding candles on a cake

About the use of sexual torture by your own military?

Absolutely!

Absolutely.

Actually, I'm not sure if you're mine,

Actually, it does.

Actually, the march is critical to... Can I be godfather?

Actually, there's a whole gray patch up there. Shall I just...

Actually, they're marching in aid of free speech.

After the events at the christening.

Again?

Ah, yes. The osso buco, I recall, is a little late.

Ah!

Ah! Is everything all right? Is Bridget okay?

Ah.

Algorithms don't lie.

Alice, I'm so sorry, but...

All gone. Yeah, that's lovely. Oh.

All right! We're getting out!

All right? Okay.

All right.

All right. I'll carry you. [ WHOOPS ]

All right. Squeeze in.

All right. You ready? Hey, what are you doing?

All they're good for is fitting car seats and blaming things on.

All you can eat, as it were.

All you need's a DNA sample from one of them.

Almost makes one look forward to one's own.

Although dealing with them over the last month

Always imagined myself in OK! Magazine with the man of my dreams.

Am allowing four weeks to reduce thigh circumference

Am like tropical female insect

Am pregnant.

Among all these glamorous people.

And 0 2 if you want it to be Jack! [ LAUGHS ]

And also the DNA sample that you require.

And anyway, it's not camping. It's glamping.

And applied the laws of mathematics

And at least I was finally down

And being responsible for the broadcast of six bare arses?

And broadcast directly to our studios

And by the powers vested in me,

And can you have children, though? I mean...

And cheating boyfriends who don't deserve you.

And day 16, which was the...

And dedicating my autumn years to the pursuit of hedonism.

And did he put his puppet in your mouth?

And do bring along the father if you can work out which one he is.

And eliminate one father from my enquiries.

And even less about algorithms.

And festivals are sexual free for alls.

And for that, I cannot blame you.

And has he called?

And he claims to have found an algorithm for love.

And he would be right because all I really need to say is, um,

And he's going to have the love

And he's here today to tell us all about his number one best seller.

And hello, everyone, live at the London Media Show,

And his chauffeur is currently live on air

And his yurt is one heck of a lot nicer than mine.

And hopefully...

And how did you two meet?

And I always carry these in my handbag.

And I am looking for someone dynamic, innovative, focused,

And I call Mr. Jack.

And I do recommend that you have the amniocentesis

And I don't drink cocktails out of jam jars

And I don't know about vibes or negative energy or prenatal wind

And I know you'd be the greatest possible mother to my child.

And I let him believe it was mine.

And I suppose it's become unfashionable

And I suppose your algorithm tells you

And I thought you were great.

And I want you to tell them to fuck the fuck off!

And I would prove my manliness by winning you a cuddly toy.

And I'm feeling, um, a bit foolish right now.

And I've been on a number of long haul holidays.

And I've spent those years caring for her very deeply.

And if you go on a Thursday, there's a Chinese buffet,

And is also to be avoided in cases of high risk pregnancy.

And it's all right?

And me?

And Miranda, cue.

And no children?

And of the two loves of my life,

And pension at the same time. [ CHUCKLES ]

And perhaps your daughter.

And quite possibly their lives

And review of my medical records.

And she is the smiling assassin

And skipped straight to starting the family phase.

And so normal.

And sometimes you love a person

And sort of had, um, relations.

And that may defy automated reasoning,

And that was how I wound up back here again.

And the next week, that is to say, on the 11th of the month

And then if the one who isn't the father is upset about it...

And then we'd go on a naughty weekend to the seaside,

And then you can eliminate the other one from your enquiries.

And then you'll see your beautiful baby.

And then,

And there are no strings.

And they're all lovely.

And this is Mark.

And this is the funny part, I suppose.

And this would be...

And we got on very well.

And we match up very nicely on paper.

And we would have come back here, had incredible sex,

And we've lost them! If he carries on talking about algorithms,

And welcome to the new look of Hard News studio. [ AUDIENCE LAUGHING ]

And what about the Quant family bloodline?

And what if it's Mark Darcy's?

And whatever happens now,

And when the going gets tough,

And who do we have here then?

And will explain all afterwards.

And will launch myself into frenzied keep fit regime.

And with 367 of the votes,

And yes, our viewers are broadcasting.

And you should know that I don't... I'm not...

And you're right.

And you're sure you don't wanna come out with me and my crew?

And, I mean... No, I know that.

And, push!

And, um, I'd like to just retreat gracefully.

Anniversary dinner.

Answering questions about Far Eastern geopolitics.

Any ruler, any despot, that here, in the United Kingdom,

Anybody at all?

Anything.

Anyway, well done. It was very...

Apart from Lady Mary on Downton Abbey?

Apparently, Hard News is too old fashioned, too serious,

Approximately eight weeks to go.