South Park: The Streaming Wars Edit

A little more, and then we can let you go home.

A lot of boats to make, and recess is almost over.

A month off our stream.

A new study says this year's snowpack

A one streaming service have a everything?

A surgery like that is very expensive.

About $10,000. I'm sorry, you guys.

About our home, I really don't have the strength.

Afternoon, pal.

Ah, yes. Come on a in.

Ah. Oh.

ALL of Denver's water comes from streams up in the mountains,

All right, Cartman, stop fucking around.

All right, maybe I'll do that.

All the fresh water go bye bye.

All water parks are 50% pee

And 50% water.

And a room that is mine to sleep in at night.

And a southern exposure for those chilly winter nights.

And all I want is to have a real home,

And cutting back on all the city's water.

And everyone working at this streaming service

And exactly what do you mean by "those people"?

And I am important.

And I don't get it.

And I got you the money for new tits, Mom.

And I promised myself

And I want to thank a you for your service.

And I'd like you to make something for me.

And I'll just tell them that the implants were for me.

And I'll pay you $15,000.

And I'm gonna go get breast implants.

And if you want to keep coming here and bugging me,

And it's really a buyer's market.

And meanwhile,

And now, we are facing a drought

And show that our excess water is making it down

And so, effective immediately,

And streaming service for that a.

And tell him that you can't possibly take on

And that I will talk to him right now.

And the excrement, clearly that of a man.

And the people who made all the deals, they don't give a fuck

And the water up there is being used

And then a Pi Pi's stuff not on it.

And then go out and open their own weed business.

And then we could float the boats downstream

And they don't give a fuck how good anything is.

And we can go live in a sweet house.

And we can't afford it.

And we had to move, you guys. It's really not so bad.

And we're just in the middle doing our thing.

And when all the water is a gone,

And who has the most pee

And wreaked havoc on the upper mountain streams.

And you said, "If it's so easy, why don't you do it?"

And, Cartman, I'm sorry.

And, uh, well,

And, uh...

Another streaming service without sacrificing

Anyone on the green boat

Apparently, this Cussler guy

Apparently, you know nothing about farming.

Are actually using.

Are any of your parents acting weird at all?

Are those popsicle stick boats?

Are you guys gonna have Cartman help?

Are you making stuff for other streaming services, yes or no?

Are you ready, Mom?

As the spring thaws continue,

As you can see, the water from Credigree Farms flows

At least $10,000.

At my mom because you worked hard for this money.

At the state of that snowpack, Tom.

Aw, shit, it's Karen.

Because he made me quit my job,

Because we are gonna get you...

Because we don't want other kids copying us.

Because you are harassing me,

Because you could easily build a ten bedroom house

Before I was a weed farmer there's potential here.

Being Karen again, huh?

BOTH: $15,000?

Boys, can you build me a test boat?

Boys, I'm gonna need you to make a lot more boats for my stream.

Breast enhancement would be,

Breast implants, Mom.

Brush their teeth in pee, no?

Building a big house across the street.

But how do we even prove the water

But I guess we need to talk about the elephants in the room.

But I think the potential here is fabulous.

But I was supposed to be the only Black one.

But I'm gonna need them right away. Say three days?

But if it does, we are seeing

But now, ManBearPig has decimated these areas

But the claw marks are those of a bear,

But then she farted, and blood shot out her dick.

But we all have to try to just be happy, you know?

But we are currently taking backup offers,

But we still have to make them look nice.

But we want to keep it on the low

Butters, I I think you've had too many popsicles.

BUTTERS: (laughs) They don't give a fuck, Kyle.

By ManBearPig.

Can you believe that?

Can you tell me why everyone is calling me "Karen"?

Can't you see they just want the water?

Cartman, come on, that looks like shit.

Cartman, wait.

CARTMAN: * I live in a hot dog *

CARTMAN: My house is cool, you guys.

CARTMAN: Yeah, and so, and so then, so then

CARTMAN: You guys.

CARTMAN'S MOM: They said that tube

CARTMAN'S MOM: Well, you did it, Eric.

Cartman's mom's surgery?

Check this out, you guys.

Check this out.

Chief.

Close the door, please.

Clyde said that if a chick uses hairspray,

Cock sucking cunt.

Colorado Division of Water Resources.

Come on what, Kyle?

Come on, Butters, you have to speed up your station.

Come on, let's get to work.

Come on, sit down.

Come on.

Come on.

Comes knocking, when Kansas wants all their water.

Cool.

Could you guys build me a test boat right away?

Da Da.

Did you have any idea what size breasts you wanted to achieve?

Did you know that they're doing a streaming service?

Didn't you, Stan?

Directly into Denver's water supply.

Do what you want, Eric. I am done with this.

Do you know any way to, like, raise money?

Do you like to entertain?

Do you like to entertain?

Doctor, keep those tits on ice.

Doing your thing. Wow.

Don't worry about it.

Don't you think that's a little, like, sexist?

Dude, I'm starting to think we took on too much.

Dude, we can't make 10,000 boats in three days.

Due to the effects of Global ManBearPig.

Enough water coming to Denver from up in the mountains.

Eric Cartman.

Eric, even if I wanted to,

Eric, how would we do that?

Eric, I'm not comfortable talking about this.

Eric, I've told you a hundred times,

Eric, if you're going to yell at me again

Eric, that's enough, okay?

Escusi. Escusi.

Even a full size movie theater.

Even though I said I don't want him here.

Eventually, he gonna kill everybody.

Every day?

Every drop that rains from the sky.

Everybody gonna have to wash their clothes in pee.

Everybody wants to get in the streaming business.

Everyone having fun.

Everyone keep this area clear.

Everyone knows, at the end of the day,

Everyone would just be cool,

Everything we did was for a good cause.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Excuse me, this is my property.

Fake tits.

Faster. Work faster.

Fine, then I'll run away.

For a bit, Karen.

For a second, something's happened to my mom.

For a streaming service.

For Credigree?

For farms and agriculture.

For his own profit.

For lunch, and my wife is making him hot dogs and tater tots,

For multiple streaming services.

For other streaming services?

For Park County farmers this summer?

For the rich guy's greed.

For their streams, too.

For these?

For what?

For you the whole time.

Fortune favors the brave, Mom.

From our farms makes it all the way to Denver?

From the farm with little Tegridy sails

From way up on the mountain peaks.

From your stream here, but what you don't use,

Fuck you, Mom.

Full size movie theater?

Get fake tits or else I'll call the police, Mom.

Get to have more water from the reservoir.

Goddamn it, I'm not gonna let you... (screams)

Goes through to Denver?

Gonna go get breast implants.

Gonna go get fake tits now.

Guess I'll just go and get fake tits, Mom.

Hanging out with those people.

Has almost completely melted, and, once again,

Has done a lot more damage this year than originally predicted.

Have their allotments.

Have you all forgotten about the Pi Pi?

He can't talk to you because he's dead.

He just gonna kill you first.

He was killed?

He was... attacked

He's got to be paying some expert or something.

He's right here.

Hello, boys. That's quite a haul you have there.

Hello, Eric. Just want to let you know everything went fine.

Hello, Pi Pi. Do you have a minute?

Hello, we'd like to speak with Mr. Cussler, please.

Hello? Are you listening to me?

Here, help me cut out these masts.

Here!

Hey, are you still worried about Karen?

Hey, fellas, are we making more boats for the Whoa, hello!

Hey, hey, aren't you guys forgetting something?

Hey, look, my son was in business with this guy.

Hey, whoa, whoa, Stan.

Hey, you son of a bitch.

Hey. Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Hi, honey. How was school?

His family farm is shady.

His name is Karen Marsh.

Holy shit. Really?

How come you're in the home ec room during recess?

How did they manage to even show that their water

How do you feel about... 20 bucks a boat?

How is he?

How is that traitor able to prove his water

How much does your mom need for her surgery?

How much money's enough, Stan?

How's it looking?

How's the drought treating you?

Huh? Huh?

I already talked to your neighbor about it.

I believe he's coming to, Doctor.

I believe you're the ones responsible...

I bought some property up here.

I can't do this anymore, Mom.

I can't wait to see the look on that traitor's face

I demand that you investigate.

I deserve to not have people walk all over me, okay?

I didn't mean to threaten you, sir.

I didn't say they're real. They're not real.

I didn't start it.

I do not want to piss Karen off.

I don't have enough water for my crops.

I don't know if you've seen, but there's a rich guy

I don't want you playing with Tolkien.

I have a nice stream going through my property,

I have Denver's largest water park.

I have the right to call the cops when things happen.

I have... big plans.

I hope you take good care of yourself.

I hope you're happier now.

I I have fake tits?

I I...

I intend to be the Amazon... River.

I just want to see how much you farmers

I just want you to get fake tits.

I just, uh, wanted to see what you're up to up here.

I know what Karen means. I'm not stupid.

I live in a hot dog, okay?

I mean traitors

I need casts of the footprints.

I need my water rights back,

I need to try and raise some money because...

I own 12 golf courses in the Denver Metro area.

I own Tegridy Weed,

I paid you a shitload of money.

I raised all the money, Mom. It's done.

I really...

I think I can help you.

I think that we could make you something.

I think we got greedy. I got greedy.

I think you could build an amazing home here.

I understand you're interested in breast augmentation?

I use the water that my crops need and nothing more.

I want 10,000 of your little boats,

I want to congratulate you, Pi Pi.

I want to talk to your manager.

I want you

I was a financial consultant

I was just gonna ask you guys,

I went out, and I worked every day,

I will go to school like this.

I wouldn't give in to him ever again.

I'll call the water commissioner.

I'll come pick you up when you're done.

I'll go live with Grandma.

I'll take it. Full asking price. Cash.

I'm a big fan of your work.

I'm afraid Mr. Cussler can't see you.

I'm fine with my body the way it is.

I'm going to have to cancel my streaming service.

I'm gonna go down and get some grocery shopping done.

I'm gonna go hang out at Tolkien's house

I'm here to find out exactly what's going on

I'm never gonna need to yell at you ever again.

I'm not getting a boob job.

I'm not getting breast implants, Eric.

I'm not some pissant little farmer, Commissioner.

I'm not up to anything. Why?

I'm sorry, Pi Pi can't hear you.

I'm sucking down popsicles as fast as I can, fellas.

I'm sure Grandma would love that.

I'm the water commissioner.

I'm waiting on more popsicle sticks.

I've already told you, Karen, I don't have a manager.

I've been asking around, and, uh...

I've been, uh, wanting to talk to you, Shelley.

I've figured our way out of this hot dog.

I've given in to you too many times, Eric.

I've told you I don't want our son

If I were you guys, I'd be super pissed

If ManBearPig is truly out there,

If ManBearPig was getting vengeance on Cussler,

If that's what you want, Eric.

If there are any interested subscribers.

If we could cut back our agricultural water use by 50%

If you don't follow them, bad things can happen.

If you want, we can walk around the property.

If you won't get fake breasts, then I will.

If you won't listen to me, then I really don't have a choice.

If you would please get fake tits. I know...

If you'd like to just go back up to the front office,

If you'd like. Do you have a broker?

If you're, if you're gonna check out anyone's water,

In all the land a?

In fact,

Is for draining blood while the swelling goes down.

Is it, is it, like, a joke or something?

Is now working over at that streaming service.

Is over here at my house.

Is seriously wrong with my mom.

Is that a Slip 'N Slide over there?

Is that right? Boys?

It appears you've won the streaming wars.

It has explosive views

It looks absolutely ideal.

It should be his.

It stops now.

It went crazy.

It's $15,000, you guys.

It's a bunch of different ones.

It's a drought everywhere.

It's a green boat.

It's a open.

It's a, it's a destiny.

It's all getting really weird.

It's been a nice working with you.

It's just that...

It's Karen.

It's not my fault that my mom lost her job

It's not what I want, it's what you're making me do, Mom.

It's over 30 acres, and it's in a real up and coming area.

It's Randy!

It's still way better than your house, Kenny!

It's too bad 'cause now you fucked, a huh?

It's... it's a little boat.

Jesus, what happened to you, Eric?

Just 'cause they want to be treated with some respect?

Just a little salty, eh?

Just go back to your boat races. I'll talk to you later.

Karen, just come back inside.

Karen?

Karen? What is it?

Keep your radios down. We don't want the press showing up.

Kenny, do you have matches?

Kenny, feel them. Go on. feel them.

KENNY: What'd we do?

Kenny. You guys, get over here.

Kush Country Farms Streaming service

Last night, I had a dream that Ariana Grande

Like, how expensive?

Little boats, that, uh...

Look at this.

Look, dude, we're actually making money

Look, I I know we're making a lot of these,

Look, if you have any excess of water,

Look. Everything going good for a Pi Pi water park.

Made a streaming deal that he had no business making.

Make money? Wait, what?

Makes it down to Denver?

Making stuff for streaming services.

ManBearPig did a lot of damage this year and...

ManBearPig is to blame.

ManBearPig must've gotten some kind of vengeance

ManBearPig. He's working for you, too?

Maybe he got some creative people

Maybe it's bad for business, but fuck Karen.

Mine, too.

Mom said you wanted to see me.

Mom, I'm serious. It's 2022.

Mom, slow down, I can't understand you.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom. Mom, I need to talk to you.

Mr. Cussler, is it?

Mr. Cussler.

Mr. Cussler's body was found several hours ago.

MULLHULLAND: Citizens of Denver,

Must be getting lots of water.

My mom needs to have a surgery,

My name is Mr. Cussler.

My streaming service!

My water park need water.

NEWS REPORTER (over TV): Just how bad could the water situation get

No matter what happens with Karen.

No one gives a shit about what fucking goes on in it.

No, Eric. I said I don't want breast implants.

No, Mom.

No, my son invited him over

No, no, no. It's good. It's completely safe.

No, technically, no.

No, that would be the easy way out.

No, you're not.

No! No, Doctor, please, I live in a hot dog!

No. He'll fuck it all up somehow.

Nobody believes you actually got fake tits.

Nobody wants to lose the water, but we're in a drought.

Nobody.

Not stupid water rights.

Now, if we can all get our minds off fucking boobs

Now, my water park can have a plenty a water

Now, the people a Denver,

Nuh uh.

Obviously, those aren't real.

Of course,

Of water for the day.

Oh oh oh.

Oh, but I guess that's just Karen

Oh, but, uh, but I have a everything I need now.

Oh, here comes the white boat.

Oh, I'd be a little more worried about the other guy.

Oh, I'm not running away, Mom.

Oh, I'm sure you are.

Oh, if I could find that guy, I'd pay him double.

Oh, my God, what what streaming service is it?

Oh, my good friend from a Credigree Farm a.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, you you don't have to call him.

Oh, no. You make a Pi Pi worry.

Oh, not Karen again. Jesus Christ.

Oh, really? Okay, well,

Oh, really? Where are you going?

Oh, right.

Oh, that's too bad.

Oh, uh, yeah, we could probably build you something, yeah.

Oh, um, I should probably go home.

Oh, well, at least you tried, Karen.

Oh, yeah. I bet we could float that down our stream.

Oh, yeah. We're just making some popsicle boats.

Oh, you make a Pi Pi cry.

Oh!

Oh. Dude...

Oh. Right.

Oh. That sounds like a fun activity. Um...

Okay, and your name is...

Okay, first of all, I know what it means

Okay, hello, Mrs. Cartman. I'm Dr. Stevens.

Okay, honey, well, I love you.

Okay, I just...

Okay, I'm in.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay, Mom, I'm going out the door.

Okay, okay, fine. I was hoping

Okay, sweetie, be safe.

Okay, that's fine.

Okay, then I'm gonna open the reserves.

Okay, uh, Mrs. Cartman,

Okay, well, I guess I'll just ask you one more time

Okay, well, now that you see how serious I was,

Okay, well, that's fucked up.

Okay, well, then I'm gonna go to the doctor,

Okay, well, we can show you...

Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay.

Okay. Um, cool.

On the mountaintop.

On their stream and get bought out, you know?

On them to show people where the water's coming from.

On this property. You could have a dedicated gym,

Only a psychopath would speed up climate change

Or else my farm won't survive.

Over here.

Pi Pi can't find his stuff a.

Pi Pi got a streaming service he like a,

Pi Pi so confuse a.

Pi Pi, I'm sorry, but...

Pi Pi's been a waiting all day for his water ticket.

Please, Mom,

Put breast implants in one of us.

Race them, see which one wins.

RANDY: Hey.

Really... don't fucking deserve you guys.

REALTOR: Now, it's about an hour commute from where you are in Denver,

REALTOR: Okay, right this way, Mr. Cussler.

Rich guys want a woman with nice titties, Mom.

Right right, fellas?

Scuse scuse me.

Secondly, secondly, my neighbor's kid

See, you have a lease to use some of the water

See?

She's acting crazy.

Shelley, I deserve to not have

Sit down, you guys. We need to talk.

So nice a you to visit. Mwah. Mwah.

So so now somebody is a Karen

So so that rich guys like you,

So then we went out and offered boats to, like,

So they gonna go and use it all.

So they, like, everyone just wants to have their shit

So, the water commissioner was working

So, you're running away?

Sold over 100 listings in 72 hours.

Some of us are required to have nice, green lawns.

Some rich guy from the city.

Something tore him apart and shit in his face.

Sorry, I'm just... not in the best mood, I guess.

Stan, are you making stuff

Stan, where do you think you're going?

STAN: Kyle.

Stanley? We had a deal.

Starting up in this town, and, uh...

Streaming service can have their allotment

Streaming service.

Subscribers to

Sure.

Take a look for yourself.

TALNUA CUSSLER: Oh, yes.

Technically what?

Thanks, Kyle.

Thanks, Mrs. Marsh.

That is an agricultural Slip 'N Slide, yes.

That the flow of water is constant.

That you said you'd cancel them if they didn't

That's almost $3,000 each.

That's fine, Karen.

That's probably why they asked for the inspection contingency.

That's right, she is.

That's right, Tom. It appears ManBearPig

That's what rich guys like.

That's why I'd like to make you an exclusive deal.

The chest muscle or on top.

The city's water?

The cops aren't even gonna do anything.

The drought is worse than everyone thought.

The fact is, we can't afford it.

The footprints are those of a pig,

The guy we made the deal with? He was killed.

The housing market up here...

The Internet.

The largest size.

The one thing that a Pi Pi have more than everybody, huh?

The original marijuana farm on this street.

The seller countered, but we haven't heard back,

The State of Colorado.

The streaming services are paying for nice boats.

The winters are bringing less and less snow.

Then farmers might want to start looking

Then I would like to speak to your manager

Then we took another deal to make them for Stan's.

Then we'd have the right to sell it.

There won't be enough water for South Park.

There you are. What's wrong dude?

There you guys are.

There's a kid trespassing at your house?

There's a lot of different streaming services now.

There's a streaming service for this a,

There's no snow up here.

There's not nearly as much snow as last year.

There's only gonna be, like, three streaming services,

There's only one thing left for people to use.

There's state rules when it comes to streaming.

These are real fake tits.

They all said you were very insistent.

They can refund all the money.

They do these kinds of surgeries to kids now.

They still look dry.

They they can be put either under

They think they have a plenty of water,

They were right about ManBearPig.

They're all just small time creeks.

They're gonna take everything they can get.

They're kind of tough to make, but...

They're silicone implants surgically inserted

They're the enemy, Stan.

They've upset the balance of nature.

Think of the entertaining potential.

This farm is about Tegridy,

This is it, right here.

This is your stop.

This property here was the last to get an offer.

This was not a choice.

Those are fucking real, dude.

Three other farms, and now they want stuff

To Is something funny, Clyde?

To all the thirsty people down in Denver.

To get breast implants, Mom. (sniffles)

To mix with all a the pee.

To put something on his stream.

To see if our stream makes it to Denver,

To subscribers that want it.

To the Denver Reservoir,

To the reservoir every day.

Tolkien, I've told you, don't worry about Karen.

TOLKIEN: Mom? Mom, what's wrong?

TOLKIEN'S DAD: The Credigree Weed streaming service.

Ugh.

Uh, I'm a bit confused here, Mrs. Cartman.

Uh, no, that's cool.

Uh, yeah, maybe some other time.

Um, we need to stop making stuff for streaming services.

Um...

Under the chest muscle.

Until close of escrow. (chuckles) We got them.

Was taking advantage of the water supply.

Was trying to fuck her own ass with a gun,

WATER COMMISSIONER: Excuse me.

WATER COMMISSIONER: Excuse me.

Water?

We are currently in beta testing

We are declaring a drought

We are in the middle of an environmental crisis.

We are really the best in town. My coworker Janice

We can have him take care of us.

We can live in that house, Mom.

We can't afford it?

We can't afford it.

We countered with an extra 20 days

We demonstrate where the water goes,

We have no idea what you're talking about.

We have water rights to use 10,000 gallons

We haven't even finished Karen's boats yet.

We just got an offer for 10,000 boats.

We live here because I gave in to you and quit my job.

We made the money for a good reason.

We made these for my family's farm.

We made those little boats in online COVID camp, remember?

We make stuff for Credigree, too.

We need to be up and running.

We pay for Cartman's mom's surgery.

We prefer the saline implants now.

We should've never gotten involved in the streaming wars.

We simply aren't seeing that much water

We start selling off pieces of our water rights

We weren't greedy, okay?

We'll be there fast as we can.

We'll do it.

We'll need a little boat to come through

We're about to start our very own...

We're going to march right over to where this guy lives,

We're gonna be rich, dude.

We're gonna get out of here, Mom.

We're gonna let the anesthesia wear off

We're gonna, you know, like, race them, you know.

We've got a code red emergency call on 911.

We've got to work faster.

We've just been selling properties

We've only got 20 minutes left, you guys.

Well, Eric, I guess that's just your choice.

Well, everybody keeps calling me Karen,

Well, gentlemen, I'm the Water Commissioner.

Well, have a nice day, Karen.

Well, have you guys seen Butters or Cartman?

Well, I don't have a problem kicking both of your asses.

Well, I want to let him know that my son here

Well, I'm not comfortable living in a fucking hot dog.

Well, I'm taking your advice, Mom.

Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, Eric.

Well, in that case, I suppose all your subscribers

Well, Mom, I guess I'll be leaving now.

Well, okay, you want to play a game over at your house?

Well, then what harm is he doing, Karen?

Well, there are a few options.

Well, there's a lot of thirsty people down there.

Well, um...

Well, what do you say, guys?

Well, who did?

Well, you know, at camp, they had us build these...

Well, you know, there's a lot of streaming services

Well, you see, the water here is supposed to make its way

Well, you should check out his fucking farm.

What a you expect a, huh?

What about our homeowners' association rules?

What are you saying, that I use too much?

What are you talking about?

What do you mean Dad is missing?

What do you mean it's enough? I've I've figured it all out.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you want from me, Eric?

What is all this? What happened?

What is that?

What is this, Eric?

What kind of agriculture?

What the fuck is he doing here?

What the water commissioner said is true.

What?

What?

What? Cancel a Pi Pi?

What? You're ruining it.

What're you gonna do now?

What're you talking about?

What's going on here?

What's going on, dude?

When he sees that we're in the streaming business, too.

When it comes to the Streaming Wars,

When rich guys come up here and get one look at you with

When you call me Karen, so you can just knock it off.

Where'd you get that?

Who acts overly entitled and demanding.

Who are you?

Who I hired to give my weed more street cred,

Who's buying it all?

Why can't a Pi Pi just have

Why would ManBearPig single him out?

Why you think I buy your water?

With room for an outdoor kitchen.

With the city's water. Weed?

With this money, before we do anything,

Without sleeping or eating.

Word on the street is you might be trying to outdo them all.

Workers found him late this morning.

Would he also want to come after my son?

Yeah huh, Tolkien. You guys want to see?

Yeah, dude. Don't forget,

Yeah, I think maybe I've had one too many popsicles.

Yeah, I'll bet you he did.

Yeah, it's real funny.

Yeah, just, you know,

Yeah, looks like a Pi Pi has it all pretty figured out.

Yeah, me, too.

Yeah, of course I have matches.

Yeah, screw whatever Karen thinks.

Yeah, uh, I I don't know.

Yeah, we make them for whoever pays us.

Yeah, well, see, the thing is,

Yeah, well, you see, ManBearPig,