Hot Fuzz (2007) Edit

A bloody busybody!

A dateless bargain to engrossing death.

A large area of land on the outskirts of Sandford,

A love struck Romeo sings a streetsus serenade.

A Mr. Blower left you tickets for Romeo and Juliet tonight.

A retail park.

Absolute tosh, wasn't it?

Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations.

Achieved the highest arrest record for any officer in the Met.

Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students.

Actually, I did notice some minor graffiti on the fountain.

Actually, I just wanted to ask, "What's your perfect Sunday?"

Actually, I wasn't talking about him.

Actually, Nicholas, you might as well take a break.

Actually, there's something I need to tell you.

After an article Tim Messenger wrote in the Sandford Citizen.

After which, nothing will stand in our way.

Again let me extend my sincere apologies for earlier.

All right, in the meantime, why don't you check out a few of Martin Blower's clients?

All right, pipe down, big one.

All right.

All right.

All too many have defected to the big Megamart in Buford Abbey.

Also, because talking to them is an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?

Am I going completely mad?

Amanda Paver, headmistress of Sandford Primary.

Amazing bit in Point Break where they jump over fences.

And advanced cycling.

And annoyingly, the understudies are actually professional actors.

And anyway, what makes you think I could dislodge part of the church roof?

And are they as big as he is?

And assumed you had time on your hands.

And discovered that I should be in the pub.

And he had one thing you haven't got.

And he's firing his gun up in the air, he's like...

And help us bring an end to this absurd story.

And I can assure you it is not in the least bit amusing.

And I have the good grace to know which is which.

And I think with a little deliberation we can figure out what links these deaths.

And I thought I might take them up on it.

And I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with me.

And if you still feel the same in the morning, I give you my word, I'll get right on to it.

And incinerated an old man in his own house.

And isn't it true that two of your own employees

And it didn't occur to you to mention this before?

And it's driven you round the bend.

And it's only now that I'm starting to realize how unridiculous it all is.

And killed anyone who's threatened to change that.

And lives up Summer Street with his mum and his sister.

And made good your escape utilizing your impressive skills as a fun runner.

And not think to apply the brakes?

And of Eve D****r and Martin Blower on April 28th.

And potential disloyalty from fickle customers,

And righteous and for the good of humankind.

And Sergeant Popwell was an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.

And Sheree played a cadaver in Prime Suspect.

And Sheree portrayed a cadaver in Prime Suspect.

And so Eve deserved to die too?

And tells me this land's very valuable.

And that is Saxon.

And that's what the "team" is gonna make of this.

And the christening will be a week on Saturday and we're all invited.

And the kiss was the only convincing moment in it.

And the next name is...

And then I said, "Playtime's over," and I hit him with the Peace Lily.

And then that reporter, God rest him, finds out about the route

And then we get forensics in to do a thorough sweep of the house.

And there's no reason we can't be civil with each other.

And there's no reason we can't be civil with each other.

And this is one Doris Thatcher.

And this is where it all happens.

And until you find a person you care about more than your job, you never will.

And what about Tim Messenger? What was his crime?

And what can I get you that isn't a cranberry juice?

And what's more, I know who did it.

And what's upstairs?

And whatever the cost, we would make Sandford great again.

And why the move, if you don't mind me asking?

And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?

And you won't be an amazing police officer until you understand that.

Andy!

Andy!

Angel!

Annette, that Sergeant Angel's back. Check out his horse.

Annette, that Sergeant Angel's coming into your shop.

Annoying.

Another beautiful day in God's country.

Any questions?

Anything to energize my workforce.

Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.

Apparently, they want to build a big shopping center or something.

Are you saying this is all about winning the Best Village Award?

Are you? He isn't even from round here.

Arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting.

As it is about fighting crime.

Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?

At least consider interviewing the widow.

At the scene of the Blower D****r death, on the outskirts of Sandford,

Attended Hendon College of Police Training.

Awful.

Back off! Back off!

Bang!

Bang! Bang!

Became heavily involved in a number of extra vocational activities.

Because "accident" implies there's nobody to blame.

Because he was knocking off Eve D****r from the council, God rest her,

Before he becomes just another crime statistic.

Before you could say, "Gypsy scum," we were knee deep in dog muck,

Before you go jumping the Kalashnikov.

Being a woman has nothing to do with it.

Ben Fletcher fell on his pitchfork the other week.

Besides, we have to do a considerable amount of paperwork.

Besides, you were the one who suggested we take a break.

Birds.

Brainwashed into naivety by an old man with a murderous obsession.

But also inferred that Eve's connections at the council

But I never forgot the clear sense of right and wrong

But if they're in here, it stops them getting into trouble out there.

But it seemed she was set on moving away.

But it won't be just me, will it?

But it's been impounded as evidence.

But the fact is, you've been making us all look bad.

But this isn't London. Oh, yes, please, Danny.

But you can't go around chopping down other people's hedges without permission.

But you've always been here.

But you've been rather letting the side down.

But, sir, I'm certain.

But, sir, I'm certain.

By the power of Grey Skull.

By the power of Grey Skull.

Bye bye.

Can I get a quick shot for the Sandford Citizen?

Can I get cell four open, please?

Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher? We're gonna go after the big boss.

Catch me later!

Certainly.

Chief, we've had a report of some hippy types

Churchyard. 3:00.

Civilian liaison with the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

Close down the road until the ambulance crew arrives,

Cocks.

Come back to London.

Come on, boys. Leave Sergeant Angel alone, he's working.

Come on, let's have a mosey around.

Come on, Nicholas. You haven't got it in you.

Come on, Sergeant, you've gotta accept it was just another nasty accident.

Complete mess.

Congratulations to you and to Mrs. Blower.

Constable Butterman, this is not the time for personal errands.

Consumed with concern for your business

Could you tell the Inspector I've arrived, please?

Couldn't see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes.

Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame.

Crusty jugglers.

Crusty jugglers.

Crusty jugglers. Crusty jugglers.

Dad just said it was his special club, he...

Dad.

Danny, believe me, it's not something you ever get used to.

Danny, can you open four?

Danny, I think I'm on to something.

Danny, no.

Danny, you'll do as you're told.

Danny!

Danny!

Danny!

Danny?

Danny. Danny, just stay here, okay? And watch him, and call your dad.

Dear Lord!

Despite the fact you live and work in the center of the village.

Did he mean me or that?

Did you go to his house? Did you read his articles?

Did you shoot anybody?

Did you want us to go through the whole phone book?

Displayed great aptitude in field exercises.

Do feel free to spool through.

Do forgive me. I'm something of a Wild West nut.

Do you really think this is murder?

Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it.

Doctor Hatcher reported no misadventure and Mrs. Blower has four alibis.

Does Bob look like the kind of person I'd go out with?

Doesn't it seem a little strange that Martin Blower would lose control of his car

Don't expect me to believe you'd let it end the same way.

Don't get up.

Don't go being a twat now.

Drop in and see me sometime. My discounts are criminal.

Drop them.

Drop your weapons!

Editor and journalist at The Sandford Citizen.

Eve works in the local council, Sergeant. Quite the lady in the know.

Everybody and their mums is packing round here.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fair enough.

Fancied himself as a property developer.

Far from all the sorts of noise of the city.

Fascist!

Feeling lucky, Sergeant?

Fifty three.

Fifty three.

Fire to destroy all you've done.

For the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad.

For the last 20 years, the village has been controlled by Frank and the NWA.

Forty.

Frank, this shit just got real.

Frank, this whole thing started because you lost somebody you loved.

Freeze!

From that moment on, I swore that I would do her proud.

From this command center I can see what the whole village is up to.

Fruit attack!

Fuck are you on about?

Geographical location shouldn't factor in the application of the law.

Get a look at his arse.

Get out of my village!

Get out.

Get the CSI down here.

Get us back to the station, now!

Go back to London. There's nothing you can do.

God rest the lot of them, had been talking to.

Good work, everyone.

Good. Proceed to the castle.

Graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in politics and sociology.

Graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service.

Greg over there was an extra in Straw Dogs

Gun fights. Car chases. Proper action and shit.

Gypsy scum. Travelers.

Hag!

Hang about, hang about.

Hang on, I don't remember telling you that.

Hanging around. Loitering. Sitting.

Happily some poison doth yet hang on them.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Has it? Like what?

Have a nice time.

Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone...

Have you ever wondered why the crime rate in Sandford is so low?

Have you listened to anything that I've said?

Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?

Having slipped and tragically broken his neck.

He bought me a police pedal car when I was five.

He can't be cold. Why the extra layer? Maybe he's trying to hide something.

He does for this one.

He hasn't.

He says, "He reckons you got something there."

He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.

He sounds like a good bloke.

He thinks you're talking a load of shit. Swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

He will tell you exactly the same thing as I have.

He's appointed himself judge, jury and executioner.

He's my dad. Take my car.

He's not gonna get back up again?

He's not in yet.

Hello there, Nicholas, Frank Butterman here, your new Inspector.

Hello, Miss Tiller.

Hello, Nicholas.

Hello, there.

Hello, there.

Hello. Hello.

Her horticultural expertise helped put Sandford on the map.

Here, maybe it was our old friend, the cactus thief.

Here, what else you got, Crockett and Tubby?

Here's to my love.

Hey, big one, playtime's over.

Hey, come on, silly bollocks, get them in.

Hey, give me that!

Hey, great. I've got something to show you.

Hey, that weren't me.

Hey, that weren't me.

Hey, we did get a little drunk. Did you get it?

Hey, why can't we say "accident" again?

Hey. Hey, what's happening? What's going on?

Hi hi.

Hi, hi, Tim Messenger.

His...

Hold on, Danny, just hold on.

Hold on, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.

Hopefully we won't see too much of each other over the coming months.

How about another beer?

How about you put the teacher in handcuffs?

How can this be for the greater good?

How can this be for the greater good?

How could I possibly be in several places at once?

How could I possibly be in several places at once?

How do you do, Sergeant?

How's Janine?

However, there was a loose end.

I admire your enthusiasm and far be it from me to stifle your flair,

I am sure that all of you will have noticed the return of a blight to our streets.

I beg your pardon?

I beg your pardon?

I bet you can't wait to jump into Sergeant Popwell's grave.

I brought you into this world, I think it's rather fitting

I can come back, and I can bring the blue fury

I can come back.

I can never find my scissors.

I can show you how.

I chased a suspect from the scene. Innocent people don't run!

I could've given you the tour. I've been round the station a few times.

I couldn't help but recall your comments at the theater on the previous evening.

I did miss a few dinners. You know, parties, a birthday or two.

I didn't know we had a mounted division.

I don't know how many times. It'll be good for you.

I don't know nothing about no skelingtons.

I don't know. Dad does it.

I don't think I know how.

I don't think that gives off the right signals.

I don't think that's a good idea. Do you?

I expect you're wondering why we call them the Andes.

I feel like I should say something smart.

I got beaten up a lot when I was young but it didn't stop me.

I had to prove to myself that the law could be proper

I haven't really got that much family round here, save for Cousin Sissy.

I hear you're quite the marksman.

I hope you're not planning on driving that.

I just can't believe Leslie's dead. How did it happen?

I just can't believe Leslie's dead. How did it happen?

I just don't think we should rule it out, that's all.

I kind of like it here.

I know, I'm outside.

I know. Bob told me.

I know. I'm at work.

I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right, and I know wrong,

I mean it!

I mean, what made you wanna be a policeman?

I might need to refer to it later.

I must go to the little boys' room.

I must say I was rather admiring your handiwork last night.

I myself host a life drawing class at the Village Hall.

I need to talk to you about George Merchant. Alone.

I personally relish the competition of another store.

I prefer to think my office is out on the street.

I reckon he's got something there.

I refer, of course, to the extremely irritating Living Statue.

I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place aisle by aisle.

I see.

I see.

I should be the one to take you out of it.

I simply wanted to say how lovely it is to see you supporting your local store.

I think after my mum died, it's what he wanted, you know, keep me close by.

I think our Mr. Merchant tried to have a little fry up and left the gas on.

I think she'd probably kill herself all over again.

I think you would've made a great muppet.

I think you're talking a load of old shit.

I thought I made it clear to you how I feel about firearms.

I thought it was about rapping people on the knuckles

I thought you was a goner.

I thought you were my husband.

I told him several times, you shouldn't eat late at night.

I too have reason to believe she favors the older gent.

I want to ask you, would you read a homily at Sunday Service?

I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.

I was buying Constable Butterman a Japanese Peace Lily for his birthday.

I was extremely shocked when I looked at my watch

I was just about to pop off, actually.

I was thinking of a different shop.

I was wondering, do you have any Japanese Peace Lilies?

I would not wanna be him in the morning.

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.

I'd come to know Martin and Eve very well of late.

I'd like to talk to the Inspector.

I'd need something conclusive.

I'd need something conclusive.

I'd quite like to keep it that way.

I'll deal with the press, Sergeant.

I'll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.

I'll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.

I'll tell them you'll ring them back.

I'll tell you how this is gonna end!

I'm a slasher and I must be stopped.

I'm all right.

I'm also arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Tim Messenger on May 1st,

I'm arresting you under suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder.

I'm going to need some ice cream.

I'm Joyce Cooper. I trust you had a pleasant trip. Fascist.

I'm just calling with details of your accommodation.

I'm just saying, things aren't always as simple as they look.

I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.

I'm not taking orders from you anymore.

I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the others.

I'm playing the eponymous hero, you see.

I'm simply suggesting that, you know, Peter be given a second chance

I'm sorry, sir, I don't follow.

I'm sorry, sir?

I'm sorry.

I'm sure he's going to learn a valuable lesson.

I'm sure if we bashed your head in, all sorts of secrets would come tumbling out.

I've experienced my fair share, yes.

If I do indeed now own the land belonging to...

If she could see what you've become,

If there were no skid marks it follows

If there's anything you need, just let us know.

If we can't have her, no one can.

If we don't come down hard on these clowns,

If we don't come down hard on these clowns...

If we let you carry on running round town,

If we let you carry on running round town,

If you had paid attention to me in school,

If you wanna wade through every copy of the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.

In 2001 began active duty with the renowned SO 19 armed response unit.

In a lovely little place that I think has won Village of the Year

In the city maybe. Nobody's gonna stab you in here, Sergeant.

In the execution of unquestionable moral authority.

In the name of the law!

Indeed, you do.

Is anything I've told you in the last two weeks

Is it?

Is that everything? Sir?

Is there now? Twenty nine.

Is this what you really, really want?

Isn't that right, Danny?

Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?

It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met.

It can get awfully hairy out there.

It oxygenates the room, helps you think, relieves stress.

It was exactly the same thing.

It was from that moment, I was destined to be a police officer.

It was more about me being obsessed with the job.

It was the single most painful experience of my life.

It was very enjoyable.

It wasn't actually my choice.

It would appear a number of your patrons are under age.

It would appear the heavens have opened.

It's a bit of a blind spot, I'm afraid.

It's a pity you didn't do the same to those bloody hoodies.

It's a well known fact that the church roof is in dire need of repair.

It's about two foot tall.

It's all about the greater good.

It's all right, Andy. It's just Bolognese!

It's all right, it's all right. There's nothing to see.

It's been a long time since I last set eyes.

It's Dave.

It's Frank.

It's hardly in keeping with the village's rustic esthetic, is it?

It's high time you realized that. You and your monkey.

It's made all the more disturbing as the Village of the Year contest looms.

It's not ours, love.

It's not ready.

It's not that long ago we were talking about getting married.

It's over, Danny.

It's over.

It's the raffle with a very special guest presenter.

It's your job, isn't it? Detect!

It's...

Its needs are simple.

Janet Barker has just given birth to twins.

Janine used to say I love my Lily more than I loved her.

Janine, I've been transferred. I'm moving away for a while.

Jesus Christ!

Jog on.

Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying on the wet floor of his bathroom,

Just hang on, hang on!

Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner. I run the local supermarché.

Just stop writing, will you?

Just walk in and arrest the whole village?

Kenneth!

Knew where the new bypass road is going

Last night's incident will require something rather more serious.

Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered!

Let us stop this mindless violence.

Let's just say that we won't be short of Chunky Monkey for the next month.

Let's just wait till Doctor Hatcher comes back with something,

Like in the films.

Like the biscuits, isn't it?

Little Brian Libby found them, out on his paper round.

Locker room.

Longer we wait, more time they've got to mobilize.

Look forward to meeting you anon. Cheerio.

Look, I appreciate your position, Mr. Webley,

Look, I can assure you it wasn't my intention to upset the apple cart.

Look, I'm merely trying to explain why I might have exceeded the speed limit.

Look, Mr. Treacher's got his big coat on again.

Look, you're right, I apologize.

Made a fortune in kitchen goods. Built that monstrosity on Norris Avenue.

Manager's office. Sergeant Angel.

Many people hold down several jobs.

Marcus Carter's big brother said he'd fingered her up the duck pond.

Martin Blower represents damn near most of the village.

Martin Blower was clearly having an affair with Eve D****r.

Martin was less concerned with the reputation of the village

May their heads be struck from their shoulders for such disloyalty.

Maybe it's time to give it up, sir.

Maybe they were all accidents. People have accidents every day.

Maybe you are.

Maybe you did it.

Messing with the recycling bins at the supermarket.

Michael, will you escort the Sergeant off the premises when he's quite finished?

Michael?

Michael? Are you there?

Michael? Is everything okay?

Might make her privy to important information.

More in keeping with the village's rustic esthetic.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning.

Most importantly, it is about procedural correctness

Most likely lost control, left the road there and then ended up here.

Most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas.

Most times they are.

Move.

Mr. Messenger, a statement will be issued shortly.

Mr. Porter, what's your wine selection?

Mr. Skinner to the Manager's office. Manager's office. Mr. Skinner.

Mr. Skinner, a baby's sicked up in aisle six.

Mr. Skinner, do you mind telling me

Mr. Skinner, what you do with your land is of no concern of mine,

Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker.

Mr. Treacher?

Must have hit the sign at some speed. Took the whole top off.

My dad, or a loony London police officer.

My suspicions were first aroused when you appeared

My teenage years studying ballet are well known.

My, he is tenacious, isn't he?

My, my. Here come the fuzz.

Namely a Sergeant Knickerless Asswipe and a Constable Fanny Batterbum.

Narp!

Nasty way to go.

Nasty way to go.

Nasty way to go.

Needless to say I never went near it again. I just let it rust.

Never mind. Hey, watch this.

Nevertheless had uncovered important information about...

Nevertheless, you could have utilized the vehicle removal truck for your own ends.

Nicholas, Danny, you know what to do.

Nicholas, Frank again. One other thing about your cottage.

Nicholas, hello. Reverend Shooter.

Nicholas, this is Tom Weaver.

Nicholas, we're offering you a smashing position with a delightful cottage,

Nicholas, you're an exceptional officer. But I've seen this before.

Nicholas! Nicholas!

Nicholas. Glad I caught you.

No caffeine after midday.

No luck catching them killers, then?

No luck catching them killers, then?

No luck catching them...

No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone...

No, I have not!

No, I used this.

No, I... I meant here.

No, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...

No, I'm... I'm...

No, it's just a lot of junk.

No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael, wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.

No, Nicholas, I'm afraid it is you

No, sorry, you were talking about the offer?

No, the gateau is for misplacing his helmet the other week.

No, you're right, you do have that rubber plant.

No!

No!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Nobody tells me nothing.

Not exactly.

Not exactly.

Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.

Not to mention persistent errors.

Not when we had two semi professionals waiting in the wings.

Notably, urban pacification and riot control.

Now, come on, Sergeant, it's not your job to investigate this incident, is it?

Now, despite my comments about "beheading" customers,

Now, how about a trip to the Andes?

Now, I know what you're going to say,

Now, let me get this straight.

Now, my perfect Sunday is a lovely long lie in...

Now, my perfect Sunday would begin with...

Now, Officer, I am a respected solicitor so there's no need to...

Now, quick announcement before we begin.

Now, quick announcement before we begin.

Now, since it's your first day and it's 11:30, I'd say that's lunch.

Now, you wouldn't, by any chance, be the new policeman?

Now, you'll all be delighted to hear

Now.

Now.

Now...

Of course we all appreciate your efforts,

Of course.

Of course. Cheers.

Of course. I simply spied you loitering in organic produce

Of the Sandford bloody Citizen, be our guest.

Officer Walker, stay here with Saxon and hold everything down.

Officer.

Officers, arrest that man.

Officers, let's go.

Official vocab guidelines state that "force" is too aggressive.

Oh, and how did you establish that?

Oh, bless you.

Oh, but I am, "Cousin Sissy."

Oh, can I have your autograph, please?

Oh, come on, Doctor Sherlock, they were accidents.

Oh, come, come, Sergeant.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dirty bastard!

Oh, fuck off, Grasshopper.

Oh, God, no!

Oh, God.

Oh, good grief.

Oh, he'll be having nightmares for a while.

Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.

Oh, he's got shorts on.

Oh, I beg to differ, Mr. Weaver.

Oh, I don't know. Comes in handy every so often.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Oh, maybe we should go home.

Oh, murder, murder, murder. Change the fucking record.

Oh, my God. What happened to your Peace Lily?

Oh, no!

Oh, Officers.

Oh, oh, Sergeant Angel?

Oh, please, please, come with me, will you?

Oh, right, right, wasn't your choice to come down here and tell me how to do my job.

Oh, Sergeant Angel? Someone from London called for you.

Oh, she was ever so good.

Oh, this is not my wife. This is Miss D****r. My leading lady.

Oh, we got red or white.

Oh, yeah, he was a prickly customer, weren't he?

Oh, you're an atheist?

Okay, we get a proper cordon up, we let the fire crews finish their stuff,

Okay, what's his story?

Okay? It's Nicholas, by the way.

Okay.

Okay. They're in.

Okay. What about this guy?

Old Arthur Webley's been clipping hedgerows that don't belong to him.

On the eve of the adjudicator's arrival, some travelers moved into Callahan Park.

Operate the vehicle removal service for the council?

Or I swear to God, you'll be explaining how Danny tripped over

Or you can be real police officers,

Our friend, The Living Statue, was here on Saturday.

Our jobs.

Our once great paper had become riddled with tabloid journalism.

Out.

P.I. Staker. Right. Piss taker. Come on!

Pain in the arse.

PC Bob Walker.

PC Walker?

Perhaps a wound you sustained on a piece of broken glass this very evening.

Perhaps hoping you might discover the route of the proposed Sandford Bypass.

Perhaps you might like to join us for a shoot one day.

Pint of lager, please, Roy.

Please excuse me. Michael!

Please, don't be childish.

Poison? I'll kiss thy lips.

Police Constable Nicholas Angel. Born and schooled in London.

Police officer, yes. I'm Nicholas Angel.

Police work is as much about preventing crime

Police work is not about proper action or shit.

Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds.

Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving

Quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community.

Quite appalling.

Quite right.

Real name, Michael Armstrong.

Really? How so?

Received a bravery award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown.

Received the Baton of Honor.

Right you are, my love.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. And where has the swan escaped from exactly?

Right. I'm taking you to the station.

Riot room.

Robin Hatcher, our resident sawbones.

Roger that!

Roger that.

Romeo not Juliet.

Romeo, Romeo, a pint of bitter for Romeo?

Roy!

Said it was by way of an apology.

Same person.

Sandford is a lie, Doris.

Sandford's hardly a fitting place for such an exceptional officer.

Satisfactory conclusion to the whole operation.

Sea mine.

See. It's only ever about the job.

Seems like Mr. Merchant tried to have a little fry up and left the gas on.

Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?

Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.

Sergeant Angel, hi hi. A quick word?

Sergeant Angel, hi hi. Quick word for the Sandford Citizen.

Sergeant Angel, you came?

Sergeant Angel?

Sergeant Angel. And to what do I owe this pleasure?

Sergeant Angel. Or is it Angle?

Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?

Sergeant Angel's having a spot of bother.

Sergeant Butterman, little hand says it's time to rock and roll.

Sergeant Nicholas Angel.

Sergeant Nicholas Angel. Sandford Police Service.

Sergeant Popwell thought much the same as you.

Sergeant, I kind of like it here.

Sergeant, I wanted you to know that

Sergeant, this is beginning to get embarrassing.

Sergeant, this is the 21st Century.

Sergeant.

Service.

Shame Mr. Skinner doesn't want to press charges.

Shame.

Shark!

She clearly has a thing for older men.

She drove her Datsun Cherry into Sandford Gorge.

She tripped and fell on her own shears.

She tripped and fell on her own shears.

She tripped and fell on her own shears.

She was head of the Women's Institute, chair of the floral committee.

She was in my year at school. Always had a thing for her.

She worked round the clock. I've never seen such dedication.

Shit!

Shouldn't that be "drink to their memories"?

Silence, Danny!

Simon Skinner, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Leslie Tiller.

Sir, I don't think driving under the influence can be called a "little indiscretion."

Skinner just sent someone to kill me, and, now, now he's gone somewhere.

Skip.

So he sends round his legal fella, Martin Blower, God rest him,

So I thought I might take them up on the offer and move to Buford Abbey.

So jog on.

So thrilled you accepted my invitation.

So, congratulations to her.

So, what do we reckon?

So, what do we reckon? Angel?

So, what made you choose Sandford then, Sergeant Angel?

So, with them having passed on, I decided to sell it on myself

So...

Somebody call the police!

Someone's in for a surprise at 3:00, ladies and gentlemen.

Something like, something out of Backdraft.

Something that placed you at the scene of the crime.

Sorry, Chief, won't waste any more police time.

Sorry, I am completely lost.

Sorry, I... I just... I just feel like I'm missing out sometimes.

Sorry?

Speaking of which, that was a fair few outlaws you rounded up last night.

Spends his whole life devoted to the refrigerator

Splat the rat.

Splat the rat.

Splat the rat.

Staging the murders as accidents.

Stand back, stand back! There's been a terrible accident.

Start interviewing everyone who was at the fete.

Statistically, Sandford is the safest village in the country.

Stay back!