American Wedding (2003) Edit

A special haircut.

A three hour drive? Kick fuckin'ass.

A wedding. [Scoffs]

A wedding. A wedding, yeah.

A witty saying proves nothing. Voltaire.

About, uh, about how my problems always seem to work out.

Absolutely.

Actually, I I never should have allowed...

Actually, I'm getting a little burned out on all the intellectual stuff.

Actually, um,

Ah, let's see. There you go. This should do nicely.

Ah, thank you. Right. I'll, uh, get the dogs.

Ah, yeah. Got the mop.

Ah, you think you're so pretty

Ah. Uh, well, yes.

Ajingle witty proves everything for my friends and I.

All right.

All right. [Dog Growling]

All right. She She said she'd probably be at one of these bars here on Halstead.

All your dreams are waking up and right now

Also younger than the sun

And a European pumpkin peel facial for me, please.

And all that just radiates from your oh, so sexy self.

And And And I certainly appreciate your your your courtesy, sir.

And And besides, sometimes it's... it's nice to be a little more traditional.

And and I'm... I'm just some ungrateful dog rapist.

And did I mention Hey, pay attention

And every penny from my last paycheck

And finally I realized, duh, you love the girl, marry her.

And had everyone go, Ooh, and, Ahh,

And hang it up so you can tear me down

And he just loved me too. [Chuckles] Yeah.

And I just see the chakras and the things I can do to her and...

And I realized something.

And I realized that the reason things always work out...

And I thinkJim has sacrificed for you.

And I understand the angst. I mean, it's your wedding.

And I want you to be a lady

And I'm not gonna let anything ruin it.

And I'm over you.

And I'm starting to realize that Mom and Dad's idea of appropriate behavior...

And I've got nothing left to lose

And if I can't bring it together for one day,

And in closing, you have been a naughty, naughty girl.

And it is my solemn vow...

And it was an awful idea. But I suppose it's the thought that counts.

And it's gonna be oh, so good.

And it's like he's been paying more attention to the dogs than me.

And it's natural. It's perfectly natural.

And it's okay. I... I don't have to use my napkin.

And knowing you gotta change the things you've been through

And let me tell you, your mother, bless her,

And let the good times roll.

And make this face like...

And make you move Uh huh

And Michelle Anabeth Flaherty,

And Mr. Idiot Behind The Desk canceled it.

And not buy into my misery

And she's dancing like she's never danced before

And somehow you always come out of it better than you went in.

And start again... start again fresh.

And that's all that matters. Grandma.! Grandma.

And the pool table. And the car.

And the two room suite I have upstairs. Come here.

And the woman I can't be without.

And this town is making me sick

And together we will float into the mystic

And together we will float into the mystic

And wait till you meet Michelle. You're gonna love her. She's sweet as sugar.

And what is this, uh, popping... popping what? What question?

And when that foghorn blows you know I will be coming home

And you

And your rudeness and obscenities won't change anything.

And, Isn't she elegant?

And, oh... Oh. Oh!

And, Steven, we still adore you, honey.

And, uh... [Clears Throat]

And, uh... [Clears Throat]

Another day to make my stand

Another loser anthem Whoa oh

Anxious might be more accurate.

Anything else you need? No. No, that's, uh...

Anything I can do.

Aplace on earth

Apparently you missed when Cadence kissed me.

Are a perfectly natural, normal thing.

Are they here? Well, I'm Cadence, Michelle's sister.

Are we going to Chicago to see titties?

Are you completely insane?

Are you happy now, man? Why are you here?

Are you just saying all of this?

Are you saying I'm impolite or something?

Are you... are you kidding me? It was amazing.

Are you... Are you talking about our team or an actual team?

As the sea

Asleep at dawn

At least they all brought gifts.

At least you could describe to the lovely woman how delicious it is.

Aw, beautiful.

Aw. [Pop On Jukebox]

Aye yay yay. Oh, my God!

Baby

Baby Drivin'you crazy

Back away from the animal.

Back off! All right, forget it. We give up.

Bangkok! [Yelps]

Be careful. She's feisty.

Because Finch meister doesn't make any friggin' sense.

Because he just checked on the dogs. Good work, man. I did.

Because I I, um... I moved it... I moved it.

Because I'll say the things that I know that you like

Because I'm freakin'you, baby Drivin'you crazy

Because of me. It's not because of you.

Because you have to make love work.

Before the future... longer talk,

Being smart is so hard. [Chuckles]

Belvedere, ma'am. Oh. Belvedere.

Better bring them in from the car. They've been cooped up.

Between Grandma and Stifler and Cadence. The cake. The cake!

Bitch!

Boning.

Both.

Both.

Boy, pubic hair was just not an issue when I was dating.

Brandi, you left the mop in the car. Hmm?

Break it on down Huh, what

Bro, that's it?

Buck up, fellas. Show some enthusiasm.

Burnin'off and on

But as they say, we will always have Paris.

But boning aside, um, I think they call it making love...

But doable. What else?

But everything it all just feels the same

But he did it, and he did it for you.

But I also have confidence. You're one big floppy cock.

But I could never live the way they want

But I will have some of that wine, sir.

But I'm dancing

But in the meantime, I don't think it would hurt to get a little rowdy this weekend.

But it's impossible to describe a feeling.

But right now

But she only comes when she's on top

But she only comes when she's on top

But since all of you are the best man,

But there's still a few of us in the other room if you want to join us.

But wait till you seeJim standing up there at the altar tomorrow.

But we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.

But when that magic night does happen, uh,

But, my fuckers,

By deflowering ourselves.

By You're a hero.

Bye. Good luck with the dress.

Cabernet seve... um...

Cabernet seve... um...

Cadence Jesus!

Cadence, let's leave the crayton here, shall we?

Cadence, this is Paul Finch. Finch, meet my younger sister, Cadence.

Cadence, where are you going? Oh, Mom.

Cadence!

Cadence.

Call me. Damn, Stiffy, you got some moves.

Can I get a little zip zip Looky, looky [Buzzing]

Can I stop worrying then? Michelle, he's been nothing but nice to me.

Can still make me, uh, squeal like a pig.

Can't hear you. Louder! Louder!

Can't I just watch?

Caught your hand inside the till Slammed your fingers in the door

Chaining together of two people.

Challenging. Indeed, challenging.

Cheers, gentlemen, sweetheart.

Chicks and boobs. Tits and ass.

Chocolate. Ah, sh...

Close your mouth when you chew, Steven. Don't do that.

Close your mouth when you chew, Steven. Don't do that.

Coach, this is kinda gay.

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.

Come on! You cannot run You cannot hide it

Come on. Come on. Anybody awake?

Come on. Let's see some determination.

Congratulation, jism. [Laughs]

Congratulations.

Could I see it?

Could not be more thrilled for you, Jim.

Could you just dance for me, please?

Cutie. Thank you for everything.

Dad. The ring.

Damn. But I saw...

Determination.!

Dickhead. You do not send shit to my office at school.

Did I say that out loud?

Did you find Leslie? Fuck your stupid dressmaker, man.

Did you guys break up? How tragic.

Did you guys break up? How tragic.

Did you guys break up? How tragic.

Did you see the stylish kids in the riot

Dirty whore! Shut your hole! Obey!

Do I still gotta do this bullshit meeting?

Do it for Daddy.

Do it.

Do the colors of the rainbow

Do these go in your ass tonight or mine?

Do this. [Groans]

Do you have a serving dish ready?

Do you have enough blankets? We're fine. Thank you.

Do you have the slightest idea of how important this is? We get to have a bachelor party.

Do you know how long she's been waiting for a day like this?

Do you know Jim Levenstein and Michelle Flaherty? Yeah.

Do you really wanna be another trend

Do you really wanna be like them

Do you think that I could get some Jiggy, jiggy

Don't break character ever again.

Don't fuck around.

Don't have any more because it's gonna spoil your appetite.

Don't know why I'm still afraid

Don't make me listen to this stupid broken record again

Don't make me listen to this stupid broken record again

Don't push it. Sorry.

Don't wanna bejust like you

Don't worry about him. You don't worry about him.

Don't you ever mouth off to Officer Krystal,

Don't you touch him. He's been hurt.

Don't.

Dress me up in women's clothes Messed around with gender roles

Drive carefully. There's more bags in the study.

Drivin'you crazy

Droppings from the gods. Ooh!

Dude, how the hell do you even think you're getting married?

Dude, no.

Dude... Hey, I got shotgun.

Dye my eyes and call me pretty

Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic

Essentially, it turns the refrigerator into an oven.

Even you, Stifler.

Everybody here in the small town

Everybody here in the small town

Everybody say, Bye. 'Bye.

Everybody says the same thing to you Fuck!

Everybody, just quiet! Lower your voice.

Everybody, please. Everybody just calm down here.

Everybody's got their problems

Everybody's looking for something

Everything is, uh... Everything is perfectly fine.

Everything they tell you is messing up your mind Don't laugh at me.

Everything you want is wrong and right now

Everything's free. What do you want?

Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Stifler.

Excuse me. Thank you.

Extra attention means you're concerned.

F for presentation.

F... What are you talking about?

Fabulous. Seeing that was worth anything.

Feeling tired

FI FI FI FI Flex

Finch said Stifler talked to her.

Finch, she thinks you were being sarcastic.

Finch, you don't think there's one girl you're destined to spend your entire life with?

Finch. Is she gonna be around tomorrow night?

Finchy, you gotta know that I'm over you now.

Fine. Adios.

First of all, what what you're feeling is so normal and perfectly natural.

Follow my lead.

Follows you back home

For the first time in my life...

For your bridesmaids' bouquet.

For, uh... you know, to get things, uh, ready for the rehearsal.

Forget it. Goy.! Grandma?

Fought with kitchen knives and skewers

Free

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

From sunrise right through brunch, on more than one occasion.

Fuck, no. No, no.

Fuckers, it's not my fault!

Fuckers.

Fuckface! What part of This sucks my ass do you not under fuckin' stand?

Full bodied, masculine wine.

Full bodied, masculine wine.

Gather up some flowers, slice 'em and dice 'em,

Generally I'm just me. If people don't like it, then that's their problem, right?

Gentlemen, I would like to introduce...

Get a real job That's what they said to me

Get me another one, darling. Come on.

Get some help! Harold, call the police! No, no, please.

Getting all, uh... was getting all worried.

Girl that I've... I've been with.

Give us a drink.

Go ahead, surprise me.

Go put something on that I must clean off with my tongue.

Go to college, a university

Gonna have sex with Cadence

Gonna have sex with Cadence

Gonna have sex with Cadence Uh huh.

Gonna take that booty to the nudie dimension Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey

Good luck. Thank you, sir.

Good talking to you.

Good work. Hey, no problem.

Good, Connor. Very good. Good, DeBoer.

Grandma, I want you to meet some people.

Grandma, this is Michelle.

Grandma, we love each other. [Mumbles]

Grandmother fucker.

Grandson's getting married tomorrow.

Granny? What? Focus! Focus! Focus!

Great.

Grooming.

Guys, are we having dinner?

Guys, what are you doing? Where's Jim's grandma?

Ha!

Hark, now hear the sailors cry

Harold! Let's get that cleaned up.

He didn't want to do it. He said he didn't want to ruin what we had...

He said he'd be the only one here tonight. What the fuck, shit brick?

He uses the F word excessively.

He'd just look up at me... Maybe you could dance.

He's friends ofJim's and mine and, oh, everyone's.

He's not here. Park the cars down there where he won't see them.

He's okay. Are you all right? Are you okay?

He's... He's a... He's a maniac. And you're a maniac, you know that?

Hear, hear!

Hello, dear.

Hello. Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.

Hello. How do you do?

Here you go. One serving dish. Excellent.

Here, let me get that.

Here's a thought. Grow a sack, fill it with some balls,

Here's to a wonderful wedding.

Hey there, you sweet manly thing. [Chuckles]

Hey there. Hi there.

Hey, Finch, I think they got your size.

Hey, Finch, what's the capital ofThailand?

Hey, Finch... I know, shut up. Kevin.

Hey, great party. Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty, I presume.

Hey, guys! Hey, hey.

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out here and meeting me.

Hey, I hate to be nosy and impolite, but, um,

Hey, I'm gonna give you a quote to live by.

Hey, Jim. Stifler.

Hey, let's keep this to ourselves. Huh? Okay?

Hey, listen, I I I I think we both know that Officer Krystal and me have this...

Hey, party guy. Having a good time, huh? Can I get you a gin and tonic?

Hey, Paul, uh, do you have a camera?

Hey, pussy's pussy.

Hey, shithead. I didn't cancel my reservation.

Hey, somebody untie me.!

Hey, tough guy.

Hey, wait, Stifler. Stifler, hold on.

Hey, when you get your bachelor party together, I manage some girls in town.

Hey, you know, my friend would really dig your vibe. Will you wait here?

Hey, you're not finished yet, are you, Finchy?

Hey.

Hey. Any luck?

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Hey. Jim, I cannot believe you.

Hey. Oh, it's so good to see you.

Hey. What?

Hey. Wow. You are a bear.

Hi.

Hi. How are you? Congratulations.

Hi. Stop looking into my eyes. Sorry. Sorry.

Hi. Where's the girl? [Gasps]

High time is no time for deciding

Hilarious, huh? Yeah. [Laughs]

His name was Arnie, and... Oh, he was so cute.

Hmm. Sorry, Finch meister. I got plans with Cadence.

Holy fuckin' shit! This is major!

Holy shit!

Holy shit! Stifler.

Holy shit.

Holy... Well, there you are.

Honestly, now... Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?

Honey child Honey child

Honey, you don't honestly believe that Michelle is still a...

Horny, like I wanna bone.

How am I gonna hold it together for the rest of our lives?

How did a little nympho like you turn into such a great girl?

How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy?

How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy?

How do you... How do you know how to do this?

How does he make you feel?

How fast life can be compromised Hey, flower fuckers, you there?

How much you bench?

How so? How How do you mean traditional? I'm thinking about the wedding.

How thoughtful. [Mouthing Words]

How you feeling, sexy? Pretty good.

How's it going?

Huh? No, no, no, no! Stop! What?

Hungry.

Hungry. [Chuckles]

Hypothetically, Dad. Oh, hypothetically.

I

I

I actually feel like I can't mess anything up.

I already called upJim's mom, got the info.

I am missing my soap. Well, don't you worry about your soaps.

I bet you won't. Would you care to join us?

I came here to do something...

I can't believe part of me wanna say

I can't believe this. They're really gonna make the dress for me?

I can't believe you're doing this. Just calm down, dude.

I can't do that. I can't... She learned all that from band camp.

I can't eat sugar. I know, because you're diabetic.

I can't imagine.

I can't wait to see this disaster.

I cannot believe my son is gonna pop the question.

I certainly have. I have. I've boned.

I could use a guy like you on my team.

I couldn't be happier. Thank you.

I did fuck your mom.

I did no such thing anywhere.

I did no such thing.

I didn't answer my cell. So he was, uh,

I didn't know you were gonna be here.

I do not deserve a girl this cool.

I don't care Whoa, whoa

I don't do apologies so good.

I don't ever wanna be you

I don't feel so insecure Hello?

I don't have to fear it and I

I don't know how, but you do. Everything is gonna be fine.

I don't know who should ho hold onto it.

I don't know who should ho hold onto it.

I don't know. I hope he likes me.

I don't know. I just call it boning.

I don't know. I mean, you look so nice, I feel underdressed.

I don't know. They said to hide.

I don't recognize half the people in this place. [Doorbell Rings]

I don't think I've ever felt that way about a guy.

I don't want to discuss this. Quiet! Oh, quiet yourself.

I feel a bit sad that tonight our little Michelle is going to be a woman.

I feel I've come to realize

I found you sleeping next to me I thought I was alone

I got my finger on the trigger and you're in my way

I got the fever for the flava of the coochie

I got the pants! Please!

I gotta do ya till the next song saves ya

I gotta go.

I guess we'll just wait for 'em to call us.

I guess. What the...

I had actually been trying to figure it out for a while.

I had four assistants working two full days on that wedding.

I had no idea. I'm their good friend Steven.

I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel.

I have something to look for in a woman now.

I have something very precious here.

I hear that all the time, but it never gets old. Aw.

I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

I hope you'll be more careful with the next one.

I I didn't... No, you know, you're right. Fuck 'em.

I I don't... I don't remember.

I I guess I just wanted to say thank you.

I I lf you want to come to the wedding, I'm sorry, you cannot act like this.

I I look at her body...

I I really hope that, uh... that that we can just...

I I was kind of hoping that, uh...

I I will get it for you. Nonsense. I can get a cutting board.

I just do.

I just don't feel quite like a virgin in it.

I just wanted to let you know that...

I just wanted to makeJim look good for you guys.

I know it. [Sighs]

I know that your love is true indeed

I know. What's wrong with us? I don't have to fear it and I

I like that. [Mouthing Words]

I like you.

I locked you out You cut a hole in the wall

I love chocolate more than life itself. More than life itself.

I love the way the tulips accentuate the, um...

I love these guys. Hey, you guys want more Snausages? Huh? There you go.

I love you!

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you...

I mean, are you kidding me? You know, I thought I had grown out of this...

I mean, do you act differently around certain people? Namely me.

I mean, do you think he really likes you? Like...

I mean, I don't want to seem slutty or anything. I'm trying to attract a decent guy here.

I mean, I swear, I'm running out of room in my brain for everything.

I mean, I think he likes me.

I mean, if ever there was a time to be happy and smile the biggest smile,

I mean, we're so happy. And I know you're excited. I can see it in your face.

I mean, your cheeks, they're flush. I wish your mother could be here.

I meant to clean that up this morning. How embarrassing.

I must have forgotten my camera at home, Steven.

I need assurances that I'm gonna get some quality action at this wedding.

I never really did like these things anyway.

I presume we're having white wine with the turkey.

I promise.

I promised you the wedding of your dreams,

I put serious thought into that letter.

I say we split up and ask around for a Leslie Summers.

I see you, baby shaking that ass

I see you, baby Shaking that ass

I still can't get my vows right.

I taught him that.

I tell you somebody's fooling around

I think I can spell... Seriously, man. Seriously...

I think I know what you're gonna ask me.

I think it was Voltaire who said,

I think with the Summer Blossoms. Mm hmm.

I think you and I...

I think you should get to know us first and then decide.

I think you're the most special girl I've ever known.

I thought you could persuade Mr. Finch to share his room.

I thought, uh, the the dish was broken.

I told him to be nice, or or he couldn't come to the wedding.

I told you this wedding would be worth it.

I travel the world and the seven seas

I try to keep a low profile.

I used to have this pet bass. Oh.

I wanted us to write our own vows for the wedding, and now I can't do mine.

I was always kind of a C student.

I was curious. Didn't see you here.

I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar.

I will take care of this. I will take care of this. [Stifler] Hey. Hey, James.

I wish I could follow you

I wish that I could follow through

I would like to propose a toast.

I would love to. Thank you. Well, come on.

I wouldn't get into too much detail on that.

I, uh... I must have came to the wrong place. Stifler.

I, um... I just have a couple of things I wanna say.

I... How did you get up the nerve to check out a gay bar?

I... How do you explain love?

I... I... I'm just...

I... I'm a master of the Tantric art.

I'd really like to tell you why I think I'll make a good husband.

I'll change. I'll change.

I'll cross that bridge when I find it

I'll frame it. Then I'll write my memoirs.

I'll get it. It's in this closet.

I'll have turkey.

I'll meet you at the closet. The closet.

I'll take charge from here.

I'm a better person when I'm with Michelle. Nobody else can... No, no, no, shithead.

I'm a dog lover.

I'm a one way motorway

I'm a road that drives away

I'm a streetlight shining

I'm a white light blindin'bright

I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa

I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa

I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa

I'm bouncing off the walls again Whoa

I'm confident that I can give you my blessing.

I'm crashing at Kevin's.

I'm cultured. I'm sophisticated.

I'm freakin'you baby Drivin'...

I'm freakin'you, baby

I'm freakin'you, baby

I'm freakin'you, baby Drivin'you crazy

I'm going to go check on the dogs. Yes, yes!

I'm gonna save your ass in this wedding.

I'm gonna teach you to dance like a Baryshiniankov.

I'm impressed.

I'm Jennifer. Well, Jennifer,

I'm just glad that's not me.

I'm keeping it safe in my room, you silly Sally.

I'm looking like a fool again

I'm looking like a fool again Whoa

I'm looking like a fool again Whoa

I'm looking like a fool again Whoa

I'm looking like a fool again Whoa

I'm looking like a fool again Whoa

I'm not an intellectical'Einstein. I'm not...

I'm not sure.

I'm on it. Thank you.

I'm overjoyed.

I'm preparing for the festivities.

I'm really afraid that this is how it's always gonna be.

I'm sick of waiting.

I'm so proud to be joining your family.

I'm so sorry about this. I just came by to make sure everything was in order.

I'm sor... I can't... I can't make that promise.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. No, not yet. But you will be.

I'm special. You're special. We're all just a bunch of special fuckers, aren't we?

I'm still a nympho. Oh, I'm still a perv.

I'm still a nympho. Oh, I'm still a perv.

I'm sure Leslie always helps associates of assholes.

I'm sure you both learned your lesson and I suppose I understand.

I'm surprised to see you don't have tits.

I'm the guy who just killed all the flowers for the Levenstein band geek wedding.

I'm the happiest man in the world.

I'm trying not to lose my head. Uh huh.

I'm working, dude. Well, dude...

I'm your fire at your desire

I'm... If lf lf you weren't married.

I've been looking out for your sex life since high school. You what?

I've blown it on you

I've got something really nice cooking up for you. Well, we love surprises.

I've just never walked into a room and...

If I call you a crotch face, you ball scratching Finch fucker.

If I call you a crotch face, you ball scratching Finch fucker.

If I should find a helping hand

If I were gay, you'd want me. Really.

If I were lying, I'd think of something better than a kiss.

If you insist, Fraulein.

If you weren't real I would make you up

If you're gonna blame anybody here, blame me.

Impolite would be an improvement. Look,

In a blessed union and bladdah, bladdah, bladdah and crap.

In a heartbeat. Oh, yeah. Mm hmm.

In fact, I think I know who should hold onto this.

In fact, why don't you both go check on the dogs and...

In the real time world no one sees her at all

Is because you guys have always been there to back me up.

Is everything okay in here? The study can get a little chilly.

Is it kinky? I don't think so. No.

Is it Swiss or French chocolate?

Is over

Is she here? Unbelievable.

Isn't that precious?

It is my distinct pleasure to introduce you...

It puts the dress in the drawer and it does as it's told.

It shouldn't take long. Just don't let her talk to anyone.

It was my favorite shirt. Uh, okay.

It was something like this. [Warbles]

It's a chocolate truffle. Ooh, yummy.!

It's a crazy party, huh?

It's a dress, a visit to band camp.

It's a miracle.

It's about goddamn time. Jackpot.!

It's about time somebody finally came out and said it.

It's all my fault. I'm a bad person.

It's all set. What's set?

It's amazing, Gram.

It's because Grandma thinks it's 1801.

It's chilly in here.

It's disgusting!

It's fantastic. Fantastic.

It's for you. It's get to work, fucker.

It's gonna be fuckin' great. Oh, my God!

It's gonna be like, You like this shit, Mama?

It's great.

It's impossible.

It's it's all the more meaningful.

It's It's deeper than that.

It's just a matter how you solve them

It's like it's... I'm never gonna be able to explain it.

It's not so much about who's the dog and who's the fire hydrant tonight.

It's on like Donkey Kong, bi i itch.

It's shaving your balls.

It's time for me to boom boom with the bridesmaids, Finch fucker.

It's too late to start now

It's too late to start now

It's... it's gonna break his heart.

It's... It's one of my favorite stories. Where should I begin?

Jam 'em all together and cart that crap down to the wedding.

James Emanuel Levenstein...

Jesus!

Jesus!

Jesus! Damn it, Stifler.

Jim didn't pick just one. Or I mean, he he couldn't decide.

Jim just wants a groomsmen's meeting before the wedding.

Jim needs to learn to dance for his wedding.

Jim said that?

Jim sucks donkey dick! Jim sucks donkey dick!

Jim sucks donkey dick! The answer's no. Okay? I'm sorry.

Jim was supposed to rescue him, untie him, give him mouth to mouth.

Jim,

Jim, have you thought this through?

Jim, he's not doing it to be nice. He's doing it to bone Cadence.

Jim, I apologize for recommending her to you.

Jim, if you hope to be the provider and protector for our firstborn daughter,

Jim, if you put half as much energy into your marriage as you put into tonight,

Jim, is this true?

Jim, look what you did. Look what I did?

Jim, you have unique friends.

Jim, you learned to dance.

Jim, you've given me everything I've ever wanted.

Jim, your suspicions are confirmed.

Jim?

Jim. Hey, John.

Jim's got single friends, right? Yes.

Just as we made them. Oh, I'm sure they will.

Just follow my lead. I'll try.

Just like way back in the days of old [Mouthing Words]

Just like you This is the anthem Throw all your hands up

Just relax and let it go.

Just relax, take it slow...

Just shouts sophistication.

Just stay calm. I'm available, she's available. It's all good.

Just... just try not to be, uh, you know, uh,

Keep going. It's good.

Kevin wasn't assaulted. [Gasps]

Kids, Michelle's parents are here. Come on. We're waiting.

Know you like I take your back

Kristof, please pardon my friend's uncouth behavior.

Krystal, you can drop the act. This isn't a real cop.

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Laid

Left box turn. Left box turn.

Lessons. Okay. I have to convince her parents that I'm not a shithead.

Let me just refresh your memory, partner. Dear Steve,

Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

Let's get you married. Hmm?

Let's see. Uh...

Like a big, fluffy linen closet at the end of the main hallway.

Like a real hero. Kind of like me.

Like I said, this is awesome.

Like... [Sucking]

Lisianthus. Double Lisianthums.

Listen, breeder, not every gay man wants to have sex with you.

Listen. This isn't working, guys.

Look at this shit. What am I supposed to do now?

Look at you, you pathetic, little weasel.

Look at you. You've gotta stand like a man.

Look it, Jim. Kevin. Boy, this really makes me important to the wedding, huh?

Look the same to everyone

Look, I'm Leslie Summers, and you've got yourself a dress.

Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think... I think...

Look, maybe we should just wait for... Jim.

Look, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to.

Look, you're... you're okay.

Look. Don't... Don't worry. I will... I'll come up with something.

Look. Just... If you can find the time, uh, to fit it in,

Looks used and abused today

Louder! Y Y Y Y Yes. Bachelor party.

Love is something you do.

Love is very difficult to describe.

Love isn't just a feeling.

Love life, get paid and then get laid.

Lovely to see you fellas. Thank you. [Mouthing Words]

Magically sprout a dick, shove it up your ass, start fucking yourself with it.

Make it stop.

Make yourselves at home. Right this way. Thank you.

Mama don't want this. This is the only piece that I have.

Marriage is a binding,

Marriage is not about, uh, animal lusting and and kinky sex games.

Master put the mop in my fanny.

Maybe a blow job or some titty grabbin'. [Laughs]

Maybe German. Oh, really?

Maybe you couldjust, uh, you know,

Maybe you should just leave, Stifler.

Maybe you'd wanna make things extra special tonight.

Maybejust a little finga Sticky, sticky