Addams Family Values (1993) Edit

A baby in the house.

A brother!

A Buick!

A child of mine.

A day for maize,

A debonair man of the world.

A goat?

A head.

A kid has to be extra special to get in,

A lawyer...

A mistress of disguise, she's eluded the authorities for years.

A nanny.

A radiologist.

A terrific turkey dinner,

A toast.

A wedding?

Aah aah aah aah!

Aah aah aah!

Aah aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

About choosing just the right little actress

Above ground.

Above ground.

Acquitted.

Addams.

Adieu, mon cher.

Adios, cara mia.

After all, they have not had our advantages,

After the funeral, she disappears, cash in hand,

After we've made love,

Ah, 6:25.

Ah.

All cooped up in this house with a new baby.

All day long, coronaries, transplants.

All dead.

All I ever wanted was a ballerina Barbie

All of their old noses had grown back.

All our lives, cara mia.

All right, children,

All that I could forgive.

All these years I've watched you and Morticia

All they need are good friends, good fun,

All we can say is...

All your life.

Although there's one fella I haven't met yet.

Am, too.

Amanda, Wednesday.

Amanda's retainer.

America's foremost facility for...

Amy Fischer.

An axe.

An orthodontist...

And a dungeon down below.

And a little time in the harmony hut.

And as their leader in the secondary

And be Pocahontas in Gary's vision.

And brotherhood!

And burn your village to the ground.

And do you know what they got me?

And drink highballs.

And earn those certificates.

And enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres.

And everyone loves you.

And finally, she marries them.

And for all these reasons,

And had to be put on a respirator.

And he hates your guts.

And helpless slave.

And his adorable family.

And honor the fortunate dead.

And I am Running Bear,

And I can never see you again!

And I will haunt you forever.

And I wouldn't make a bird house.

And I'm Becky Martin Granger.

And if you ever show your faces around here again,

And in the roles of her pilgrim pals...

And just what might that be?

And left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch,

And my husband is dying.

And now for the piece de resistance.

And of paying someone else to raise them.

And pulled out four of his permanent teeth.

And say Jesus, Fester, go back to your room.

And slides.

And so I have to use persuasion...

And the angel told the stork.

And the diamond turned into a baby.

And the next morning,

And the suburbs!

And the sun is not sunny,

And then mommy kissed daddy,

And then the ghost said,

And they're all the same woman.

And this little lady?

And this.

And to just plain have fun!

And to think I might have missed all this.

And to watch the place burn. You go.

And we have selected...

And we're all here to learn, to grow,

And what seemingly innocent pose will she next assume?

And you know what that means... clean cabins.

And, just as little Pubert arrived,

And...And I dreamed that when I met him,

Angel, I'm going out for just a minute.

Anything.

Are most often the result of a troubled family life.

Are we late?

Are you enjoying this?

Are you in unbearable pain?

Are you really a nanny?

Are you really allergic?

Are you the mom?

Aren't I a human being?

Arrest her at once without delay.

As concerned, caring parents.

At any of their strange customs.

At his command, I would crawl on my belly

At his request, I would rip out my eyes.

At least three rich husbands...

Attention!

Bachelors, beware.

Barkley, Castleman, Calloway,

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Be careful! It's a credenza!

Be careful.

Because he's in love.

Because you've flaunted yourselves,

Benito...

Betrothed to Pocahontas.

Bingo! This kid knows

Bone and brine!

Book, music, and lyrics by...

Boys?

Brava!

Buffy!

But aren't they extinct?

But did any of you love me?

But he's alive.

But how?

But I have to confess I've been jealous, too.

But I took a bath.

But I want to be.

But look.

But sometimes people just won't listen,

But still compellingly written role of Pocahontas,

But that's great news.

But the money never lasts.

But they claimed no one else was available.

But they want to go,

But they want to go.

But we can have lots of good fun,

But what if you met just the right man

But why?

But you belong to Debbie.

But you know what we'll do with them?

But you'll be right back, won't you?

But, Debbie...

But, Fester Addams,

But, Officer...

But...

But...But... don't you love me?

C'est la vie.

Camp Chippewa.

Can still have a darn good time.

Can you breathe?

Canoes, canoes, canoes!

Cara mia?

Cara mia.

Changes?

Children, as your new nanny,

Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny.

Children, why do you hate the baby?

Children, you see?

Children! Campers!

Come on!

Come on! It's Gomez!

Come on.

Come, cara mia.

Come, sorrow. We welcome thee.

Consuela, Irwin...

Coochie coochie coo.

Could you tell me

Cousin Itt?

Creating with clay and...

Curad, brattle,

Dare I ask Debbie to dinner?

Darling, come to bed. He can't be serious.

Darling, I know you're nervous.

Dear Wednesday and Pugsley,

Dearly beloved...

Death! Death to the enemies

Deb.

Debbie, let them go. Take me and my money.

Debbie!

Debbie.

Debbie.

Debbie.

Debbie. Debbie.

Debra!

Deeds...

Dementia.

Denied.

Dexter, Donman,

Did you see that?

Disturbing.

Ditto.

Do hereby declare my unending love.

Do it! Hold him still!

Do you believe in the existence of evil?

Do you know how dirty you are?

Do you like romantic living?

Do you remember our honeymoon?

Do you think she minded?

Do you think we love the baby more than we love you?

Do you think when a new baby arrives,

Does he always do that with women he likes?

Does he like me at all?

Don't I deserve love...

Don't I yearn and... ache and shop?

Don't make me call Ringling Brothers.

Don't peek!

Don't say that!

Don't start with me.

Don't touch it, not until the scab falls off.

Don't we wish they'd just die?

Don't you want me?

Each summer we take this occasion

Each year, we conclude our summer

Edwards, Evans,

Enough said.

Especially his head.

Especially my uncle?

Especially Sarah Miller.

Esther...

Even Prince Charming noticed the new arrival.

Even the sound of her name...

Every 15 seconds, Doctor.

Everyone at the ball

Everyone, campers!

Everything's going to be just fine.

Excellent, Amanda!

Except we wear shoes and have last names.

Executioner, place her on the block.

Father, what is it?

Fester Addams. My, my.

Fester is truly continental.

Fester, before we go any further,

Fester, come along.

Fester, get over here!

Fester, I'm ready.

Fester, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny.

Fester, we may be together for a while...

Fester!

Fester!

Fester.

Fester...

Fester's really a wonderful man.

Finding the richest, loneliest bachelors,

Fine. Rub it in.

First wouldn't I have to get married?

For a nice little walk.

For the leading role of Sarah Miller,

For what I've done, I deserve to die.

For what?

Forceps!

Forever.

Freeze!

Fresh air...

From the obstetrician.

Gaining their trust and their love,

Gar, come and take a look at this.

Gary Granger!

Gary, Debbie, seventh grade.

Gary, she's changing the words.

Generous, doting...

Get out of my house!

Gifted, exceptional.

Give me a 20. Watch it!

Give me a kiss.

Glicker, go!

Go away!

Go!

God love them.

Gold bullion.

Gomez, do you remember what we were like?

Gomez, Morticia,

Gomez, no!

Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

Gomez!

Gomez.

Gomez.

Gomez...

Good evening.

Good night, Debbie.

Good night!

Good show, old man.

Good try!

Goodbye, everybody.

Goodbye, Fester.

Graceful, delicate.

Granny down the hallway,

Great news...

Group hug.

Guess who we have in mind.

Guilty by her own admission.

Guilty.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha ha! Make way for the birthday boy!

Hah!

Hair of the pup.

Hands.

Happy anniversary, Debbie.

Has Fester gone mad?

Has it finally happened, at long last?

Has the planet gone mad?

Have fun!

Have fun.

Have I done something, said something?

Have you met my husband Cousin Itt?

Have you really never had sex?

Hawaii is wonderful.

He adores you.

He could become...

He could stay this way for years. Forever.

He has my father's eyes.

He likes you.

He lives.

He loved his state. He loved his country.

He needs friends like this?

He spent many years abroad.

He vomited.

He's a dead man.

He's a real devil.

He's adorable. He's perfect. What's his name?

He's just terribly shy.

He's Mr. Woo Woo.

He's not a brat.

He's not a team player. He's a special child.

He's only a child.

He's possessed?

He's right here, mon cher.

He's very shy.

He's very sick.

He's wrapped in a gossamer blanket of ecstasy,

Heads up, campers. Thejamboree's only two weeks away.

Hear, hear.

Heh heh heh heh.

Hello, Fester.

Hello, kiddies.

Hello, Polly.

Hello, Pubert.

Help me!

Help me!

Help them.

Help. Help.

Henceforth, I am your eternal

Here it is.

Here they are!

Here you are,

Here, catch!

Here, Debbie!

Hey, no problem o.

Hey! Listen up, everybody.

Hi there, mister.

Hi. Addams residence?

Hi. Don Buckman.

His lips are busy.

Hold still, you little brat.

Homicide.

Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Hook him, book him, cook him. Now!

How about our first little pair

How about your boy?

How are you doing?

How are you?

How can I be like you?

How can I be suave?

How can we say no?

How do I look?

How do you plead?

How I must bore you.

How long do we have to stay in here?

How to prevent forest fires.

How you must hate me.

How?

How. I am Pocahontas, a Chippewa maiden.

Huh? Becky, what's going on?

Hungry for cash, hungry for love.

Hurry up.

Husband number two... the senator.

I am a turkey. Kill me.

I am an Addams!

I am Mrs. Addams.

I am so glad we invited the Chippewas

I believe they own...

I can't breathe.

I can't have dairy products

I can't swim.

I can't tell you what it's meant

I can't wait.

I choked him till he lost consciousness

I could never achieve... you know.

I could never give myself completely.

I could tell.

I demand justice!

I die.

I do, so far.

I don't enjoy hurting anybody.

I don't know. I think so.

I don't like guns or bombs or electric chairs,

I don't understand. For weeks not a word, and now this.

I don't want him!

I don't want to be in the pageant.

I don't want to hurt anybody.

I forgot the champagne.

I got your message inside my cutlet.

I had never seen...

I hate when that happens.

I have a confession to make, as well.

I have a confession,

I have a pass. Want to come?

I have allergies.

I have decided to scalp you

I have seen all this, Officer.

I have seen horror!

I have seen the unholy maggots

I have to get out of here.

I have to go to the wedding.

I hope no one minds. We brought along a guest.

I hope that someday you'll know the indescribable joy

I hope you like it.

I just can't tell...

I just want to squeeze them till there's not a breath left

I just wanted to read.

I kept my fingers crossed.

I knew you'd want to know

I know it is wet,

I know that we're all concerned

I know, but I want more...

I know.

I know.

I know. Let's all clean our rooms.

I know. Wait for my birthday.

I like it.

I love them.

I love you dearly,

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love your dress. It's so tight.

I may never see you again.

I need to ask you something.

I opened his skull and removed his brains.

I ordered this cassette from Time Life.

I prayed.

I remember how she'd turn to me

I respect that. But, please, may we see him?

I saw them sneak out.

I seek justice.

I shall not submit. I shall conquer. I shall rise.

I shouldn't be telling you this.

I think that's disgusting.

I think they should be punished.

I think they're like circus people.

I thought he was from Europe.

I tied him to a tree

I tried to give you some dignity, but, oh, no, not you.

I tried to make it look like an accident.

I want to remember you just this way.

I want to smile

I want you dead, and I want your money.

I was 10,

I was a ballerina...

I will devote...

I will worship you forever.

I wish you were here,

I won't listen!

I worship you.

I wouldn't go horseback riding.

I'd do anything for him.

I'd do anything for you.

I'd kill myself.

I'd love to.

I'd pay.

I'll be leaving the country very shortly.

I'll be right back.

I'll be the victim.

I'll clean my room

I'll get you! And your little hand, too!

I'll have you locked up for trying to visit.

I'll just put your present on the table.

I'll never forget you.

I'll show you all my references

I'll start first thing tomorrow.

I'll trade you.

I'm a virgin.

I'm coming.

I'm drowning!

I'm fine.

I'm fine. How are you?

I'm Gary Granger!

I'm good with my hands.

I'm her husband.

I'm just like any modern woman, trying to have it all...

I'm not perky.

I'm one, too.

I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac guy.

I'm Polly the puppet.

I'm sensing some friction here,

I'm still on fractions.

I'm sure they'll deny everything,

I'm upset.

I've arranged a little surprise, my dearest.

I've been so happy for you,

I've dreamed that sometime

I've had it up to here.

I've made him a man.

I've tried to be someone I'm not.

If I asked her, would you come,

If I have to be seen with you, we need to make some changes.

If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.

If my mom uses a fabric softener?

In exchange for your immortal soul.

In the play.

In their tiny little bodies.

Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture?

Is it string?

Is romantic music.

Is something wrong? Bad news?

Is that a no?

Is that your bathing suit?

Is that your over bite?

Is there anything you'd like to say to everyone?

Isn't he a lady killer?

Isn't he precious?

Isn't it, Fester?

Isn't she pretty?

Isn't that sad?

Isn't this place something else?

It has to be damp.

It is so. Everyone knows it is.

It itches.

It looks familiar.

It means insanity.

It means orphan.

It says, toddler.

It was a senseless tragedy.

It was agony.

It was our mother's. She was buried with it.

It works on cats.

It's a bizarre request.

It's a bomb.

It's a dream.

It's a quaint French custom...

It's about time. Hey, kiddo.

It's all she talked about.

It's all they talked about all morning.

It's an Addams!

It's an American bald eagle!

It's an old Indian word.

It's been almost a week. Hasn't it, little fellow?

It's been too long.

It's Disney.

It's filthy.

It's horrifying.

It's just I wish I had more time

It's just sibling rivalry.

It's me, Gomez.

It's not binding.

It's really no place for children.

It's so drafty.

It's so odd we haven't heard from Fester and Debbie.

It's superb.

It's the worst thing ever in the history of human events.

It's true.

It's very common.

Jam il?Jame il?

Jamal.

Joel Glicker, I'm surprised at you.

Joining the Addams clan.

Just a curse. Have a nice day.

Just do it.

Just leave. Leave quietly. Leave now.

Just you wait.

Just you.

Justice is served.

Keyholes.

Know what might turn their sad, wasted lives around?

Know what our little ninja friends need?

Lassie Come Home.

Legs, elbows,

Let me look at you.

Let them adopt.

Let them fall in love.

Let them know happiness.

Let's not forget our cheery little Chippewas

Let's see who's the next happy bride.

Libraries full of books,

Life saving.

Like some weird medical experiment.

Like what?

Like you're going to a funeral.

Lily, Jennifer, Tiffany, Missy,

Look at him.

Look at him.

Look at this. I've got them.

Look at you.

Look at you...

Love, Uncle Fester.

Lovely.

Loving husband, a family.

Lucifer...

Lumbar, dison...

Lurch by the door.

Lurch, was she in there before you baked?

Lurch.

Luxor, nexor, burst, and burn!

Mail call.

Malibu Barbie.

Mama, stop!

Mao.

Margaret, this is our bride to be.

Margaret.

Marvelous news.

May I?

Measles, mumps, rabies?

Michelle, and Melissa!

Midnight, moonlight,

Might we see my brother?

Miss Debbie!

Miss Jellinsky.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm!

Mon cher.

Mon cher.

Mon cher.

Mordecai, Yang,

More important than making new friends?

More important than sharing?

More important than summer fun?

Morticia.

Move out of the way!

Mrs. Addams, the baby?

Mrs. Addams?

Muffin.

Murder!

My baby is ill,

My baby!

My brother... passion's hostage.

My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki.

My darling, it's you I'm worried about,

My every waking moment

My first husband, the heart surgeon.

My husband was in that house.

My late husband Fester.

My latest husband.

My latest husband.

My name is Cinderella, she said to the prince.

My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!

My name's Fester. It means to rot.

My own dear family.

My own personal salute to the first Thanksgiving.

My parents... Sharon and Dave.

My people will have pain and degradation.

My Uncle Fester's about to get married

Never?

Never.

Never.

Next in line.

Nice.

No cares.

No matter how odd or pale or chubby,

No quarrels.

No survivors.

No woman in her right mind could love you.

No, no. You're working hard enough.

No, thank you. But do ask the children.

No, you wouldn't.

No, you're not.

No!

No! We are not here to punish.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. He doesn't want to see any of you or that.

No. I have to go back. For the others.

None of you really believe in me,

Nor have some oftheir little comrades.

Not anymore.

Not at all. We're just getting started.

Not in this house.

Not on my time, four eyes.

Now we show our stuff

Now you have to get married.

Now you just answer one simple question.

Now, Debbie, have you met everyone?

Now, we have thought long and hard

Number 438.

Nurse, how close are the contractions?

Of course he does.

Of course not.

Of course not. He's an adorable little baby.

Of course not. That's the point.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course... the gates of hell.

Of having children

Of life saving buddies?

Of the people of the republic.

Of your attitude problem.

Officer, you must issue a subpoena.

Oh, and what's this?

Oh, darling, do you really mean it?

Oh, do I love you. Look at yourself!

Oh, Fester,

Oh, Fester,

Oh, Fester, how much do you love me?

Oh, Fester, I'm such a lucky man.

Oh, Gar.

Oh, Gomez, it's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate.

Oh, Gomez, what shall we do?

Oh, I didn't say anything.

Oh, I just adore little babies.

Oh, I'd like that.

Oh, I'll be fine.

Oh, is that the little critter?

Oh, it's just...

Oh, my God.

Oh, never.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. This is our baby.

Oh, please, please!

Oh, they're just shy.

Oh, yeah? Set this!

Oh, you're allergic?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.