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Home > Notting Hill (1999)
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Notting Hill (1999)

Notting Hill (1999)

Notting Hill is a romantic comedy film released in 1999. Directed by Roger Michell and written by Richard Curtis, this delightful movie takes place in the vibrant and diverse neighborhood of Notting Hill in London. The story revolves around the unlikely romance between Will Thacker, a humble bookstore owner played by Hugh Grant, and Anna Scott, a famous Hollywood actress portrayed by Julia Roberts. As their worlds collide, the film explores the challenges faced by two individuals from different backgrounds navigating love and fame.

Notting Hill is known for its witty dialogue, charming characters, and enchanting soundtrack which perfectly captures the essence of the film. Composed by Trevor Jones, the score is a beautiful blend of uplifting melodies and heartfelt compositions that evoke a sense of love and longing, capturing the spirit of the story.

You can experience the magic of Notting Hill by playing and downloading the enchanting sounds of this film here. Immerse yourself in the romantic journey of Will and Anna as they discover that love truly knows no boundaries or societal fame.

A broken heart
A man could want to do
A nice opportunity to...
A smile reflected in a stream
A toast to Bernie the worst stockbroker in the whole world.
A trace of pleasure or regret
About the sorrow
Absolutely perfect.
Absolutely, yeah. You're clearly very busy.
Actually, I can't think what it is, really.
Actually, I had it in my apartment, and I thought you'd
Actually, it's a sort of a classic, really.
Actually, Mel does his own ass work.
Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't doesn't look at all like, uh, Topol.
After you've read that terrible book,
Ah, listen, I'm sorry about not ringing back.
Ah, no, that's the point. They're private villages.
Ah, yes, excellent. Excellent.
Ah.
Ah. Oh, right.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
All actresses are as mad as snakes.
All I'm asking for is a normal amount of perspective.
All right.
All right. Well What do you mean, just over the street?
All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman.
All that kissing my ears.
All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them.
Always be glad that you... came to stay.
Always been a bit of an ass.|
Always imagined it's a pretty tough job, though, acting.
And
And
And absolutely certain never to hear from Anna again...
And always thought she was, well, fabulous.
And Anna is your definitive actress,
And currently to be found filming, most days, on Hampstead Heath.
And Demi's, of course.
And don't forget I'm
And either wipe it and put it back or buy it.
And even then it was it was just little girls with blonde ringlets.
And fuzz free.
And he can't remember
And her agent in New York.
And I I'm going to fail just a hundred percent.
And I definitely glimpsed some cellulite down there.
And I found this, and I thought cool.
And I just think... you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
And I just wanna be sure I've picked the right T shirt.
And I just wanted to make sure that you were fine about it.
And I think she probably deserves a little bit more consideration...
And I was, like, rooting around in your things...
And I will become some sad, middle aged woman...
And I'll tell you if I enjoyed making that bit.
And I've believed for some time now, that we could be best friends.
And I've got funny goggly eyes. And I'm attracted to cruel men.
And if these cheeks get any chubbier, they never will.
And if you say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech, I'll pelt you with olives.
And if you wanted honey, you'd just buy honey instead of... apricots.
And is is he your favorite Italian director?
And it's now been about 24 hours...
And make them all my souvenirs
And makes them taste like honey,
And now can't remember why he chose I love Ken.
And now double it. And that is the, um what can I say
And now I've landed in it all over again.
And now, tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspaper from here to Timbuktu!
And one day not long from now, my looks will go,
And over here around Christmas or early in the new year.
And ready years
And she's always gone too long
And she's always gone too long
And she's in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
And so it was just another hopeless Wednesday,
And so we have to face the fact that from next week,
And that girl has an ass she could perfectly well share around...
And the foot that was purple is now sort of blackish in color and
And the other who seriously ought to have known better
And the pregnancy thing, is that to do with the accident?
And the telephone's just just up here.
And then gave herself a completely different name.
And then, suddenly, it's the weekend,
And they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality.
And this house just ain't no home
And this house just ain't no home
And this is William.
And to add insult to serious injury,
And to be frank with you, doesn't always sell many of those.
And what's great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London.
And where I lead a strange half life with a lodger called
And wherever you look thousands of people are buying millions of antiques,
And you and love?
And you just dismissed me out of hand.
And you're from, uh, Horse & Hound.
And you're from?
And, actually, no one will marry me...
And, more importantly, I genuinely believe,
And, of course, well, I was total crap, so
And, uh
And, uh, may I also say, um, heavenly.
And, um, henceforward intend to be impressively happy.
And, um, I just think, you know,
And, um, I tell you what.
And, um, then I thought I'd take this final call.
And, um, well, the truth is,
And?
And... it's taken two rather painful, um, operations...
And... nobody fancies me.
Anna, don't. It's harder than it No, it's not. It's easy.
Anna, how much longer are you staying in the U. K. , then?
Anna, look, um
Anna's... a goddess.
Any bit in particular?
Any film with her in, it's fine by me.
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time she goes away
Any time.
Anyone saying they wanna go out with you is pretty great, isn't it?
Anyone saying they wanna go out with you is pretty great, isn't it?
Anything normal with a person that was...
Anytime I've tried to keep...
Anyway, um,
Apart from that foul temper of yours, but...
Apart from the American, I've only loved two girls, both total disasters.
Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own?
Are there any circumstances in which...
Are you... busy tonight?
Artist must have full consultation.
Asking him to love her.
At least I think it was Ringo.
At the moment, the plan is to release in America...
Ay! Bugger, bugger.
Bath?
Be great.
Because he's playing a psychopathic flesh eating robot.
Because my boyfriend who was in America is, in fact, now in the next room.
Because you can do that in dreams and, um,
Because you can do that in dreams and, um,
Because, um, my boosies have actually started shrinking.
Been in the business longer than you.
Before flying to America.
Before the K. F. T. s return at 1900.
Bella, can you tell me where I can find
Bernie.
Best guinea fowl I've ever tasted.
Better make it a half. All I can afford.
Big, big bollocks! Average day, my glasses are everywhere.
Bollocksed up at work again, I fear.
Both. Equally.
Breakfast in bed.
Brilliant. Fantastic.
Bugger.
Busy tomorrow?
But also that she was...
But don't despair. I think I have the solution to your problems.
But don't worry. I won't believe it.
But I can't promise anything.
But I just wish to make it clear that I've turned a corner,
But I once saw Ringo Starr.
But I was just, uh just changed to go home.
But I was poor and It happens a lot.
But if if you could wait,
But if it's Turkey you're interested in,
But it was, um, difficult, obviously, being set in space.
But she checked out about an hour ago.
But she said she wanted to go out with you.
But she's bright as a button and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row.
But she's just split up from her boyfriend, right?
But surely that's worth a brownie.|
But they're odd looking.
But this writer writers they're pretty damn good too.
But to make matters worse,
But when I want to go to the cinema, they've vanished.
But when it came to it, I didn't know how to call,
But yesterday that actor asked you who I was,
But you see, this is not for the shop. This is for you.
But you wouldn't necessarily lick both?
But, seriously, they're just breasts.
But, uh
But, uh
But, uh, there's a delivery for you.
But, um
But, um The bathroom's on the top floor.
But, um,
But, um, you know, you could hide the food in your handbag or something.
But, um, you're probably right.
But, you know, a million, million miles from the world I live in...
But... no. Thank you.
Buy a boring book about Egypt from the guy that screwed Anna Scott.
By the way, it's you.
Bye, Hon.
Bye.
C'est la vie.
Calm down. How about a cup of tea?
Can I come in?
Can I just say no to your...
Can I stay a bit longer?
Can speak right to my heart
Can't be mine, and, uh,
Can't we just laugh about all this?
Cappuccino, as ordered.
Careful there, Vicar.
Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is,
Change my personality...
Checkin'.
Chicks love gray.
Classic.
Classic.
Classic.
Classic. Profit from major sales push,
Close Encounters meets Jean de Florette.
Come in.
Come on in. I'll just I'll just
Come on, Flopsy.
Come on! Come on! Wait!
Come on! No! Wait! Wait there!
Come on. Hit me with it.
Could you bring me up some really, really cold water?
Damn it.
Definitely.
Delicious coffee.
Depending who's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal.
Did you enjoy making the film?
Divorced. Used to be handsome, now kind of squidgy round the edges.
Do remember that Miss Scott is also keen to talk about her next project...
Do you always say no to everything?
Do you feel that way?
Do you know and this is pretty amazing, actually
Do you wanna come up?
Does this mean that Miss Scott will not be publicizing her next film?
Don't even think about it. Go away immediately.
Don't give a damn about the famous girl?
Don't think about it.
Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.
Dream scenario I just, uh,
Drink tea. There's lots of tea.
Every second person in the world has them.
Every time anyone writes anything about me, they'll dig up these photos.
Everybody should and I'm
Everyone in the world knows who you are.
Everywhere I look there's a pair of glasses.
Everywhere you go, people will say, Well done, you.
Everywhere.
Exactly a year ago today, this man here started the finest restaurant in London.
Exactly. Right. So here we go again.
Excellent. Wait a minute. She took your grandmother's flowers.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Are there any more announcements?
Fairly fabulous.
Fantastic. That's, uh
Faster than you can say Indiana Jones.
Fifteen million dollars.
Filling Portobello Road, right up to Notting Hill Gate.
Fine.
Fine.
Fine. Good decision. Good decision.
Fine. Of course. I
First there's this one. Cool, huh?
Floating through a dark blue sky.
Flogging her guts out in London's worst record store.
For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend!
For me the book is the poorer for it.
For my behavior over the last six months.
For two days, but what with your papers,
For where she goes I've got to be
Get your logic. Demi cappu coming right up.
Gimme, gimme some lovin'
Gimme, gimme some lovin'
Gimme, gimme some lovin'
Give me five minutes?
Go round
Good bye is traditional.
Good decision, yeah.
Good Lord, you're the spitting image of
Good night.
Good night.
Good one.
Grasping her Oscar...
Great. Thanks.
Great. Thanks. Brilliant.
Groovy.
Guilty. Very, very guilty.
Hand it over.
Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat.
Has an orgasm every time you take her out for a cup of coffee.
Have a seat.
Have I got something for you. Something which will make you love me so much,
Have I got something for you. Something which will make you love me so much,
Having behaved so badly.
Having you here, Anna, firmly establishes what I've long suspected
He was just a friend. We're still friends, I think.
He wasn't that friendly during filming?
He's an artist... with brilliant prospects.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Hi.
Her best friend is Anna Scott.
Here we are.
Here we go.
Here. Let Let me, um
Here's the, uh, thing. Do you wanna come this way?
Hey, one more thing. Could you adios these dirty dishes and take out that trash too?
Hi, guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Come on in. Vague food crisis.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Is Miss Scott staying here?
Hiya! Sorry.
Hollywood's biggest star by far.
Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey. She's my baby sister.
How are you doing?
How can you mend
How can you stop the rain from falling down
How do you think I'm doing?
How was she?
I I absolutely, totally and utterly adore you.
I agree.
I also have a phone. I'm confident that in five minutes...
I believe I have.
I believe she's holding a press conference at the Savoy...
I brought this for you from home,
I can think of younger days
I can't be what I'm not
I can't be what I'm not
I can't believe you have that picture.
I can't deny what I believe
I can't say that I know Patrick all that well.
I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip,
I could drop round for tea later or something.
I could never see
I didn't know where to go.
I didn't like her last film. Fell asleep as soon as the lights went down.
I do. It feels like how love should be
I don't I don't suppose, um, Flintstone rings any bells, does it?
I don't believe it. I actually walked into the loo with her.
I don't believe it. This is just getting worse.
I don't either.
I don't have a book down my trousers.
I don't know.
I don't know. Beavis or Butt head?
I don't know. Perhaps, um,
I don't know...
I don't really care what the film's like.
I don't think it's his job to clear.
I don't think they tried for kids before, as fate would have it.
I don't think you'll believe who was just in here.
I don't want a goddamn cup of tea.
I don't want people saying, There goes that famous actor with the big, fat girlfriend.
I don't. No, no. But others do.
I feel I should apologize to everyone...
I got completely lost.
I got some absolute classics.
I had to leave. I didn't want to disturb.
I have thought about you.
I have to go away today, but I...
I have, as you know, been somewhat down in the mouth.
I have, um, water and soap. You can get cleaned up.
I haven't had a girlfriend since well, since puberty.
I heard.
I hoped there would be, but no, I'm... assured there aren't.
I I'm a complete moron. I apologize. I
I just do what I want.|
I just want to say to Tony... don't take it personally.
I just wanted to apologize for my friend. He's very sensitive.
I just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing.
I just was wondering whether...
I just wondered whether if...
I knew a girl at school called Pandora.
I know I'm not
I know it was
I know it's been months, but
I know lots of nice, cheap places, not that money is necessarily
I know that, but... just let's stay calm.
I know this love's forever
I live in Notting Hill. You live in... Beverly Hills.
I love you just the way you are
I loved you. You were terribly funny, but...
I mean, good dreams. It's a
I mean, I am actually a friend. I'm not a lunatic, but
I mean, I work in the city in a job I don't understand,
I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes.
I mean, last film you did, what did you get paid?
I mean, when all's said and done, she's nothing special.
I meant to leave. I just
I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday,
I really apologize.
I saw her taking her trousers down,
I see friends from university clever chaps.
I see you've, uh I see you've brought her some flowers.
I seriously don't know what came over me.
I shall find myself 30 years from now still sitting on this sofa.
I should leave.
I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.
I suppose in the, uh, dream
I thank you. And Tony, the worst restauranteur.
I think she said her name was Flintstone.
I think so, yes.
I think you've forgotten what an unusual situation you two have.
I think, um,
I thought Ghost was the most wonderful film.
I thought the apricot and honey thing was the real low point.
I thought you were Spike. I'm thrilled that you're not.
I told them I had to spend the evening...
I was called and I came. What's up?
I was gonna steal one, but now I've changed my mind.
I was just wondering if, uh,
I was never told
I was still chatting when she started unbuttoning her jeans.
I will feel the opposite,
I won't stand up because I can't... be bothered.
I would think, looking at something nice like that,
I wouldn't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whim, now.
I'd better be going.
I'd no idea how much nonsense it was, but...
I'll be right back.
I'll get the jam, you get the door.
I'll just be going, then. It was nice to see you.
I'll just check, sir.
I'll just take my one chance to say it.
I'll regret this forever.
I'll see you in a sec.
I'll see you tonight. Hey, Marty. Ooh! Sexy cardi.
I'll show you.
I'll throw in one of those for free.
I'll wait until you've gone before I tell him you're a vegetarian.
I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer...
I'm a fairly levelheaded bloke,
I'm a huge, huge fan of yours.
I'm actually in the stock market myself, so, uh, not really similar fields.
I'm also just a girl...
I'm going to ask you to marry me.
I'm gonna fight for it.
I'm gonna give the last brownie as a prize...
I'm in contact with some quite important spiritual vibrations.
I'm just going into the kitchen to get some food.
I'm just in London...
I'm really sorry about last time.
I'm really sorry. I I live just over the street.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I arrived outside.
I'm sorry? You think you deserve the brownie?
I'm sorry. I didn't get down what magazines you're from.
I'm sorry. There's no excuse for him.
I'm sorry. Things are running a little bit late.
I'm sure it was just friendly banter.
I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner.
I'm taking pills and having injections. And I'm told it won't last long.
I'm very sorry about the surreal but nice comment.
I'm very sorry about the surreal but nice comment.
I'm your brother. I don't know anything about this. Is he
I've actually tried that tack, but she said you've said that once before,
I've been on a diet every day since I was 19,
I've found myself a nice, slightly odd looking bloke...
I've opened Pandora's box and there's trouble inside.
I've totally given up smoking, my favorite thing.
If I'm wrong about the whole book down the trousers scenario,
If it's romance we're looking for, I believe I have just the thing.
If that's okay by you, and, uh,
If there were horses in it,
If you can find an unsigned one, it's worth an absolute fortune.
Imagine.
In a house full of ramps.
In about seven seconds,
In everything that I could be
In fact, I had no idea if he was ever gonna fly in again.
In fact, I think it's something we should take pride in.
In the non prostitute sense, obviously.
In their own special ways.
In this small village in the middle of the city in a house with a blue door...
Indefinitely.
Inside her shell
Inside her shell
Interesting means inedible.
Is that now I'm so fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
Is that so? Well.
Is your decision to take a year off anything to do...
It does strike me as,
It just got to the point...
It makes me look like
It might have been that man from Fiddler on the Roof.
It now appears as though...
It seems like a... perfect situation,
It was just so nice to meet you.
It was nice to meet you.
It was, um It was thrilling for me.
It was...
It was...
It's It's all nonsense, believe me.
It's a bit of an awkward situation. I don't know what he's doing here.
It's a dream, in fact, uh, to see you again.
It's a rather distressing disease.
It's a stupid thing. I hate it.
It's amazing how you
It's amazing how you
It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again.
It's in the way we make love
It's in the way we make love
It's in the way you are
It's in the way you hold me
It's in the way you want me
It's in the way you want me
It's just one day.
It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for ten years.
It's just the way you are
It's not Henry James, but it's... gripping.
It's not often one has the opportunity to adios...
It's not warm when she's away
It's not warm when she's away
It's one hell of a job, isn't it? What do you put on your passport?
It's one of life's real cruelties.
It's the worst place to be.|
It's very difficult, isn't it? Everything's got the word Kensington in it.
It's your mother on the phone.
It's, um, not quite as tidy as it normally is, I fear.
James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.
Jesus Christ.
Just a girl...
Just some guy from the past. I
Keziah.
Kind request and, uh, leave it at that?
Kinda... spacey.
Ladies and gentlemen, can we have you on your first marks?
Large... shoes.
Last time I was Mrs. Bambi.
Let's face facts. This was always a no win situation.
Let's go crazy. I'll have an orange juice.
Like no one before you
Liked the bit in space...
Listen, I appreciate that. Absolutely.
Listen, you think about her all the time. Now you can ring her.
Look at me.
Look, your brother's brought this girl.
Made of
Magnificent.
Marry Will. He's a really nice guy. Then we can be sisters.
Martin, hold the fort a second.
Martin, really. Can't you just do it yourself?
Martin, your customer.
Max, Belle, we'll see you in a couple of days.
Max, how fast is your car?
Max, this is Anna.
May be a hundred different things
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
May be the chill the autumn brings
May come to me from shadows of the past
May come to me from shadows of the past
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
Maybe it'll even help business.
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
Men went to bed with the dream,
Message from Command. Would you like them to send in the H. K. s?
Might be more than just good friends?
Minimum input, maximum publicity.
Minus 347 pound.
Miss Scott's latest film is once again topping the charts.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm. Okay. Well done, you.
Mm.
Mmm.
More than that, when you think about it. Meat Loaf has a very nice pair.
Mr. Thacker is from Horse & Hound.
Mr. Thacker realized he'd been a daft prick...
Mr. Thacker, if you'd like to come with me, we can rush you through the others.
Much more towards the emerging markets.
My best friend slipped down stairs, cracked her back...
My brilliant plan was not so brilliant. I know.
My flatmate, who'll I'll stab to death later, never gave me the message.
My friend Max is cooking,
My God.
My mother has trouble remembering my name.
My relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not...
My whole life ruined because I don't read Hello magazine.
Never got to see her box or |
Never suspecting that this was the day that was gonna change my life forever.
Newspapers last forever.
Newspapers last forever.
Nice firm buttocks.
Nice garden.
No matter how they judge us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
No matter what they tell us
No matter where they've been
No matter who they follow
No one knows why some things work out and some things don't.
No one says, Whoopsidaisies, do they? I mean, unless they're
No one.
No one's allowed to see them
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
No, I I know that. She She said that.
No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll be your date.
No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop. We only sell travel books.
No, it absolutely does not mean that.
No, it's a stupid privacy thing. I always pick a... cartoon character.
No, it's all right. You were saying.
No, it's fine.
No, it's my fault. I thought this would all be over by now.
No, nice try, gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.
No, no matter what
No, no matter what
No, no matter what
No, no, leave it. It's, you know I'm sure you didn't mean any harm.
No, no. No, no, it's actually quite sensible.
No, she's too wholesome. The point about Miss Scott is...
No, sir.
No, thank you. I just need to get my car back.
No, thanks. I'll just... look around.
No, there are hundreds of them.
No, they were, um, prescription.
No, they're great. They're great.
No.
No.
No.
No. Gone completely.
No. I thought it was... really, you know, interesting.
No. It's my 22nd.
No. No, uh, she doesn't.
No. No.
No. No. Um, don't don't don't do that.
No. Turn over four T. R. S. s and tell them we need radar feedback...
No. What's that?
None of those childish kebab stories you find in so many books these days.
Nonsense it all is.
Normal, it's just been a disaster.
Not at all bad. Well chosen briefs, I'd say.
Not in real life.
Not often in and out of love.
Now down to business. The end of the scene.
Now looks like a porn film.
Now... try.
Of course I did, but he didn't.
Of course I've seen her films...
Of course it is. Any favorites among the 22?
Of course.
Of course.|
Oh, bloody hell. I don't believe it.
Oh, bugger.
Oh, Christ alive!
Oh, Christ! What is going on in there?
Oh, God, no.
Oh, God, this could be very unpleasant.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. I'm horribly drunk.
Oh, God. This is one of those key moments in life...
Oh, great. If you don't mind, I would like something too.
Oh, how I adore you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's your name, man?
Oh, listen, Bernie.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. My flatmate.
Oh, no, don't open it now. I'll be embarrassed.
Oh, no, I promise you I've never played anything cool in my entire life.
Oh, no. There was one from your mum.
Oh, okay. Take a seat and I'll go check.
Oh, right. How about the new John Grisham thriller?
Oh, right. There we are then.
Oh, she
Oh, she
Oh, shit. Is that the time?
Oh, signed by the author, I see.
Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?
Oh, sod off, mate. What are you, her dad?
Oh, sorry. It's down the corridor on the right.
Oh, splendid. Oh, well done. How's the pay in movies?
Oh, stop showing off. God, that's an enormous ass.
Oh, the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
Oh, um, fabulous.
Oh, well, don't overdo it.
Oh, well, there's a question, um,
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
Oh, yes. You are a naughty boy.
Oh, you gave me a present. We're best friends already then.
Oh, you're welcome. Did you find them?
Oh. How you doing? I thought you guys always wore those, uh, penguin coats.
Oh. Oh, right.
Oh. Well, bad luck.
Oh. Well, great.
Oh. Why not?
Okay, it's true. I told you I was bad at acting.
Okay, who are the ones that you didn't write down from?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Might be too late, but okay.
Okay. Oh. Forgot the jam.
Okay. What if... I did have a book down my trousers?
On for a videofest tonight?
On your first marks!
Once in a lifetime
Only the people who live round the edges are allowed in.
Or hounds for that matter. Our readers are equally intrigued by both species.
Or if there's a stunt bottom being used...
Or sofa bed.
Or would you be getting, a a stunt horse double man thing?
Or, in the bigger hardback variety, there's
Or... a lot, maybe.
Our perspectives are very different.
Particularly breasts.
Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.
People talking out loud
Phone number of Anna Scott's agent in London...
Please, sod off.
Point taken. Don't despair.
Poor old carrots. That's
Pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
Probably best not to tell anyone about this.
Probably drug induced. Spends most of her life in bloody rehab.
Probably not. Um, something else cold.
Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom.
Quickly, quickly. Talk very, very quickly.
Quite why, no one knows, because it stops them tasting of apricots...
Rather than having jerks like you drooling over her.
Really, it's quite, um, tricky. Anna.
Reconsider?
Recover, uh, if I was...
Red or white?
Remembering one name's hard enough.
Right, I think we're ready.
Right, right. Yeah. Perfect timing, as ever.
Right, uh, Mr. Thacker. Will you come this way.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right. Just one more.
Right. Okay.
Right. Right. No one.

Viral
Funny