Men in Black III (2012) Edit

A break in the time line.

A gift. It can protect you.

A shoving match breaks out.

A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.

A smart man figures out what victims have in common.

A smart man would.

A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.

A word of advice, Agent J.

Access denied.

Access restricted.

According to you, I've done this before.

Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future...

Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you, I love your work.

Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down...

Agent K pronounced dead at scene. Awarded posthumous commendation...

Agent K.

Agent K...

Agent W, your cover is safe.

Agitation? Depression?

Alien unicorn. Last of its species.

All right, all right, go ahead, go ahead.

All right, all right.

All right, Griff, don't start flipping on me.

All right, I got it.

All right, I sort of...

All right, I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to X.

All right, I'm hanging up.

All right, listen. I haven't done anything wrong.

All right, sir, I was minding my own business.

All right, this is it.

All right, you slug.

All right, your head.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?

All the things that had to converge for the Mets to win the World Series.

All you have to do is deploy it.

Allow me most honorable benefit of serving you favourite noodles, K?

Almost forgot.

An individual of your...

And Bob here is a clear violation of Health Ordinance 32:

And he wanted me...

And I have written a hell of a speech for him.

And I need to get out of here. I cannot be with you.

And I was supposed to say, What do you expect?

And I'm paraphrasing.

And just because you see a black man driving a nice car...

And liftoff.

And now a few words from Agent K.

And now we will hear from our new chief, Agent O.

And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?

And you are much more...

And you say we don't talk?

And, really, I just want to say thank you.

Any human casualties?

Anybody!

Anything's possible.

Apparently not.

Apparently not. One washed ashore last week.

Aqua Velva aftershave. I didn't imagine that.

Archanan. Arc Net. You put up the Arc Net.

Archanans are extinct.

Are we missing something?

Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?

Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled...

Arrest me.

As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.

As soon as that happens, break that blue laser line...

Assumed to have returned to planet Boglodotia 20 light' years away.

Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.

At this height, that should be...

Attention. Early warning system engaged.

Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the centre stalk...

Because if there were...

Because of Boris.

Between 80 and 100 psi!

Bingo.

Blink. That's good.

Boglodite. Boris is a Boglodite, but they're extinct.

Boglodites were a rogue alien race...

Boglodites?

Boris is coming through that door...

Boris jumped back and killed him.

Boris the Animal was the only suspect...

Boris the Animal, Boglodite assassin.

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal!

Boris the Animal.

Boris the Animal.

Boris the Animal.

Boris, can you give me a hand?

Boris! You promised to take me with you!

But first, I want the pleasure of killing you.

But first, we gotta get high.

But he's not gonna talk to Men in Black scum like you.

But I need you to come out here now...

But I threw a brick through that window.

But in terms of the space time continuum...

But that depends.

But that was because of all those secrets...

But there was one guy who could help.

But where there is death...

But...

Can I help you?

Can I save him?

Can I...? I'm so sorry. I don't know what...

Can you promise, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral?

Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.

Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.

Cape Canaveral, what happened?

Cape Canaveral.

Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.

Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.

Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.

Chilling.

Chocolate milk, sir?

Colonel, they had these.

Come on now! All right! Let's go...

Come on, I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!

Come on, what about you, slick? In the future, you got yourself a girl?

Come on!

Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.

Cool for you. What do you need from me, man?

Corporal.

Damn it, it's not the tick?

Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it! We had him!

Damn it. It's not the tick.

Damn right it's not. A boy needs a father.

Details.

Did he call in sick or anything?

Did you get him?

Didn't work.

Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?

Do I know you?

Do not lose that time device...

Do not lose that time device...

Do you know...

Doing his own thing.

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Don't badmouth your old man.

Don't know what you mean.

Don't nobody want your nasty ass noodles.

Don't put me in here, K!

Don't tell me he's your new partner.

Double A? Your partner.

Drink your coffee. We got work to do.

Dude, they should give you two black suits.

Dumb ass.

Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.

Eleven. Ten. Nine.

Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.

Every morning with his coffee...

Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.

Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.

Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.

Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall...

Except in the future where I have to leave in two minutes...

Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?

Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent, class one. J.

Excuse me. Excuse me, who is that? Who are you?

Fair to middling.

Far out, man!

Far out.

First of all, my name is J, okay?

Fly! Find your place in the world!

Follow me.

For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.

Found out the hard way.

Four weeks.

Get on.

Give me a sec.

Give us a minute, chief.

Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.

Go ahead.

Going? How's it going? That depends. For me, personally, things are good.

Good afternoon.

Good boy.

Good day, gentlemen. Great day for America, isn't it?

Good man.

Good, that was a close one.

Got it.

Griffin, right?

Griffin.

Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?

Guess I owe you some answers, hoss.

Have any specials?

Have these in the future?

He did his job.

He didn't say please.

He didn't smoke.

He figured it out, we busted him, we made time travel illegal...

He got away.

He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.

He has to be the...

He has to go to Cape Canaveral.

He is going to give the humans...

He killed my partner.

He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.

He never asked me to his house to watch a game.

He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.

He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.

He went to go do something very special.

He will not know you were ever here.

He...

He...

He'll have what he always has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes...

He's been dead for over 40 years.

He's going to demonstrate an electro biomechanical...

He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.

He's gotta be after the Archanan.

He's here?

He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.

Here they are.

Here you go, sir. Just call down when you need it.

Here's the thing.

Hey, back up, back up.

Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin?

Hey, hey, Stop. Stop it.

Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.

Hey, look, funky '60s dude, we don't have a lot of time.

Hey, look, man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.

Hey, man, how old are you?

Hey, man? A little help here?

Hey, my name's K. What's your name?

Hey, slick.

Hey, what kind of work do you do?

Hey, what you guys wanna bust my balls for, huh?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, do me a favour, all right?

Hey. No.

Hi, fellas.

His name is Boris.

His name's Griffin.

His wife cooked me dinner once. While it was not pleasant...

How about a little professional courtesy here?

How about I quit?

How are things going?

How are you, officers? What can I do you for?

How can I help you? We're having an amazing sale...

How did you get to be like you?

How did you know?

How do I know what I don't know?

How do we do that? Stop them?

How do you know about my father's watch?

How do you know my name?

How do you know that song?

How do you know that?

How long have you been craving chocolatised dairy products?

How will we find this guy?

How you live such a happy life?

How's it going?

How's your day been, Agent K?

I am not jumping off of this building!

I bet I know what went down with you and O.

I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours.

I break the laser line?

I can never bear to watch this part.

I can promise you it will be longer than yours.

I can't listen to sitar music anymore.

I can't talk right now. I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.

I decide what it is.

I did!

I didn't say thank you.

I didn't understand...

I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.

I don't know if I don't know nothing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know.

I don't know. Go wherever you went last time.

I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.

I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.

I don't want you to lose yours.

I doubt it.

I feel younger already.

I forgot to see this one coming.

I got 10 minutes to launch.

I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.

I got you..

I guess one every 40 years is okay.

I had to hide it from Boris, but if you find me again...

I hate to tear you away from your video game.

I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer...

I have to go now.

I haven't been here. I didn't tell you where I went?

I keep them in case!

I knew Roman.

I know where Boris is headed to next.

I know where he is.

I looked at this report. K put Boris away...

I lost my planet.

I mean, who is he to you?

I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.

I need bail.

I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.

I need you to go get me some chocolate milk, all right?

I need you to trust me.

I need your help to do that.

I paid a lot of money for that luggage.

I played a game with my dad...

I prefer to do both.

I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.

I put him away a long time ago. It's the worst mistake I ever made.

I put my pants on.

I said I told you everything...

I see what you're saying.

I see why I recruited you.

I see you've brought me a treat, darling.

I stole that one. But not because I'm black.

I stole them both. Car from your wife...

I take the Chloropod.

I think I just saw a tooth in that thing. Or a claw. Or a hoof.

I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.

I told the truth last time.

I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.

I tried to stop them, but if we stop them here, if we deny them Earth...

I used to play a game with my dad:

I wanna know who was driving.

I want to know when and where you sent him.

I was about to tell you to screw off.

I was about to tell you to screw off.

I was an agent for three years...

I was waiting for my girl, who, by the way...

I was waiting for my girl.

I win! I'm better than me!

I wish I could.

I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these.

I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.

I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.

I worked with Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time...

I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.

I'll be done with the car in a minute!

I'll have the strawberry rhubarb.

I'll just use my imagination.

I'll kill you both!

I'll pop your head off...

I'll take the kitchen.

I'll take the prisoners.

I'll take this one!

I'll take you to K.

I'll tell him this!

I'll wing something.

I'm a romantic like that.

I'm an agent...

I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!

I'm going back in time to kill a man before he takes my arm.

I'm gonna go to Florida. You stay here.

I'm gonna go to the little Men's in Black room...

I'm gonna just miss your caramel brown skin.

I'm gonna kill both of you!

I'm gonna kill the both of youse!

I'm good, I'm good.

I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.

I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.

I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.

I'm looking for K.

I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.

I'm not gonna relax because we're running out of time...

I'm not worried about that one. I'll kill the younger Boris...

I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.

I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?

I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.

I'm sure he was a great guy.

I'm sure.

I'm trying to protect you...

I've been trying!

I've got a planet to save.

If everything goes right the way we hope it does...

If Griffin's here for a game, he's either too early or too late.

If he had any secrets...

If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.

If we don't get him, there'll be two.

If we pull this off, fix things the way they were...

If you erase me...

If you got a problem you can't solve...

If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now and do not lie to me.

If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything.

If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.

If you want to keep that, I wouldn't.

If you're half the agent you say you are...

In 25 years, you'll recruit me...

In 25 years, you'll recruit me...

In the future, we ever do the Texas two step?

Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.

Is that a battery belt?

Is that Andy Warhol?

Is there any future where I save his life?

Is there anybody here who's not an alien?

Isn't that right, Miss O?

It gets pretty windy on the way down.

It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites and:

It has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business.

It might be time we do something stupid.

It wasn't the best time for your people.

It would be...

It'll ruin your figure.

It'll take a miracle, but if you pull this off...

It's 32 feet per second. Per second.

It's a cake.

It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.

It's a matchbook.

It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.

It's a shield.

It's above your pay grade.

It's always October...

It's been my privilege.

It's dysfunctional.

It's just Boris!

It's just Boris.

It's kind of my thing.

It's like with anything.

It's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.

It's never been funny.

It's not right.

It's not son, it's not slick and it damn sure ain't no Cochise.

It's really...

It's something worse than the tick?

It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.

It's the surprise. To protect the Earth.

It's time to give you your things back...

It's transcendent.

It's what we do.

It's whirring and buzzing.

J was a friend.

J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right as rain.

James?

James? That's a nice name.

James...

Janis Joplin.

Jerry rocked Haight Ashbury like you wouldn't believe.

July 16th, 1969.

Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested...

Just a few...

Just a really big glass. Have you seen K?

Just being.

Just go, go, go!

Just passed the two minute mark...

Just say you hate me. Don't take it out on the car.

Just smart. Funny. A great smile.

Just today.

Just turn your damn phone off.

K got it for the Boglodites.

K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.

K is the only hope in saving Earth.

K, come on. I got larvae to feed.

K, don't go in by yourself!

K, I call this one Low Hanging Fruit.

K, I need a space gun.

K, it's O. We have reports of several humans suffering from...

K, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right?

K, the crashed ship...

K, the killer...

K, we gotta drive.

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K!

K! K!

K! Wait, no, I gotta go in with you!

K?

K?

K...

Keep gyro settings at zero gain.

Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will look right here.

Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms.

Last chance, who are you and what do you know?

Leave it at that.

Left. Left.

Let me enjoy this.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's agree to disagree.

Let's get it.

Let's get this bite guard in here.

Let's go get dumb ass pie.

Let's go, Mets! Let's go...

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.

Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?

Let's see, mass of Earth and 30 something feet per minute...

Like this great weight has been lifted. I've had anger issues my entire life...

Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.

Listen.

Location, Cape Canaveral.

Lonelier too. Since you're the last Boglodite standing.

Look out!

Look, I gotta ask you.

Look, I was...

Look, I'm sorry, man!

Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him...

Look, three months from now, your buddies down there...

Looks like some kind of cake.

Looks that way.

Loss of balance?

Lunar Max.

Make love, not war.

Man, I am getting too old for this.

Man, that is some next level stuff.

Man, what the hell happened to you?

Man, you look like you come from the planet...

Man...

May I have everyone's attention, please?

Maybe he's a noted athlete.

Me and O?

Meet you on the street.

Men in Black incident report, July, 1969.

MiB league champ, three years running.

Mick Jagger?

Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.

Mommy, the president is drinking...

Mommy.

Most people.

Murder number one: Coney Island, 10:37 a.m. Roman the Fabulist.

Murder number two: The Factory.

Must be good, slick.

My dad gave it to me.

My daddy is a hero?

My man, for real?

My man, we don't have a lot of time. You really need to tell him something.

My partner.

Naught)'

Need to see the boss.

Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.

Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a smooth countdown.

Neither of us wanted to leave.

Next shuttle to Afazumba...

No cleaning! No cleaning!

No human has been to the moon...

No questions. No answers.

No red buttons yet, slick.

No, any reality that gets the shield deployed...

No, don't break it!

No, I call everybody K.

No, I call ladies

No, I'm serious.

No, I'm very worried. This is important.

No, it's a clue.

No, no, no, space gun.

No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.

No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.

No, sir.

No, that's a stupid plan, because I sent Boris to July 16th.

No, we got you.

No?

No.

No. I mean, we don't really talk.

No. No, I mean, really high.

No... That's where Boris was locked up.

Nobody.

Not us. I'm gonna do this one alone.

Now give me back my head.

Now is not a good time. This is a be in.

Now Roman was a Byvoid, correct me if I'm wrong...

Now that I know what you look like...

Now there's a big part of me that's gone.

Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work.

Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.

Now, take these.

Now, where were we?

Now...

Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K...

Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. We're in this one.

Oh, God.

Oh, Griff.

Oh, I just thought of something. Even back then...

Oh, J, all the things that I should have said...

Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.

Oh, no, I'm worried. Very worried.

Oh, no!

Oh, right.

Oh, sure, sure. You look. Very fresh.

Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?

Oh, we got company.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, of course. In the box.

Okay, first of all, let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.

Okay, future man, where to?

Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.

Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.

Okay, now...

Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.

Okay, slick.

Okay, we got other stuff, like headphones, adapters or...

Okay, we're here.

Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice:

Older gentleman, 110...

On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children, you stay.

On July 15th, Boris killed an alien, Roman the Fabulist, at Coney Island.

One of the times?

Only what he needed to see.

Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating...

Out of what, K? Life?

Password?

Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?

Pie don't work unless you let it.

Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the centre stalk.

Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.

Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler, which is cool.

Popping out to Cleon Jones...

Press it.

Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.

Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.

Put up the Arc Net.

Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?

Regret.

Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.

Right.

Right.

Rings a bell.

Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.

Safe?

Save the chop socky bullshit for the tourists, Wu.

Schtaron.

Secondly, as long as Spikey Boy is running around, this is my business.

See, here's the problem.

See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.

Seen him around?

Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial...

Seriously, I'm not even sure that's meat.

She storms off and bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms...

She's a fine lady, but you know the rules.

She's clean. Well, not clean, but you know...

Shield.

Ship has sailed, amigo.

Should have killed him.

Show us the tanks, Wu.

Shrimp and bok choy.

Silence goes good with a lot of things. Ever try or is talking how you breathe?

Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.

Sir, if I may.

Sir, this man came here from...

Sixty three seconds.

Snatched his skirt off.

So are we partners? You tell me.

So happy to see you. Mr. Wu get you your regular table?

So how are you gonna really find him?

So I guess win or lose, this is it.

So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.

So I was in London and that's when I met O.

So if you don't like getting fish slapped, keep to our agreement.

So let's just stop for a second and talk.

So quit your conjugating.

So sorry. No speak English. You come back later, okay?

So that would be, I guess, about two feet off the ground.

So that's the story you believe.

So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face. I like that emotion.

So there's secrets out there the universe don't know about?

So this is how you see things? This is amazing.

So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?

So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?

So you two go way back, huh?

Some job you got there.

Some kind I've never seen before.

Someone forget his nap?

Something happened at a factory.

Something happened, K. What happened?

Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.

Something that changed him.

Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.

Sorry, Mr. Warhol. You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.

Sorry.

Sorry. I have something for you.

Sorry. Lost track of time.

Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him. He smiles like this.

Sounds good.

Sounds like fun. Good work.

Stay away from him.

Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!

Stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Such an infinitesimally small chance for success.

Sure thing, slick.

Table one hasn't ordered a thing. Table three...

Take the rest of the night off.

Take them to the brig.

Target vector, July 16...

Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger.

Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.

Terribly sorry. X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.

Thank you for handing me that brick, J.

Thank you, Agent K.

Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.

Thank you, J.

Thank you, Miss O.

Thank you, O.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!

Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries...

Thanks for the heads up.

Thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?

Thanks, Manny.

That ain't a finger hole...

That ain't gonna happen, partner.

That baseball...

That does not belong in a pita, it belongs in a casket.

That is an Earth fish.

That seems...

That sounds right ish.

That spark something?

That thing people do when they change their facial expression?

That was just mean.

That wasn't me, that was you!

That way, neither of them will even exist.

That, gentlemen, is a standard issue neuralyser.

That's a big ass phone.

That's a big blip.

That's a real bummer about your buddy.

That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?

That's all I got.

That's deep.

That's easy.

That's easy.

That's for lying to me.

That's for telling me the truth!

That's funny. That is exactly what K said.

That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.

That's just disrespectful.

That's just so Zed.

That's my partner!