The Dictator (2012) Edit

A brand new 9112012.

About some of the comments I may have made about

Absolutely.

According to Wadiyan propaganda,

Across the globe, people are glued to their television sets.

Admiral General Aladeen of Wadiya

Admiral General Aladeen preparing

Admiral General, I am here for your protection 24/7.

Admiral General, what if we just tell the United Nations

After Wadiya's first free elections,

Ah, gentlemen, Tamir.

Ah, Nadal.

ALADEEN: (IN DEEP VOICE) Good morning, Nadall

ALADEEN: I trust everything is in there,

ALADEEN: Megan! Megan!

ALADEEN: Next. No, no, no. No. Boring, boring. Come on. Come on.

ALADEEN: She offered me a job.

ALADEEN: Who are you?

Aladeen.

ALADEENI This is silly.

ALADEENI Zoey?

All I ever did was steal my country's wealth

All my friends have got nuclear weapons

All night'?

All of our employees are political refugees, just like you!

All of the others are gone! Qaddafi,

All right, can you get me a cloak?

All right, let's get right to it.

All right, Mr. Smart Guy,

All right, then... I will get you.

All right.

All right. I promise.

All right'?

All this time you've had a brick? Why do you have that?

ALL: (CHANTING) Aladeen! Aladeen!

ALL: (CHANTING) Swivel. Swivel.

Allison Burgers is a persecuted dissident, not a murderous madman!

Allison Burgers.

Allison, before we go any further,

Allison, could you please take your hands off my breasts?

Allison, I don't have a dick.

Allison, stop it! You need two hands!

Allison, what happened?

Allison, why are you sad'?

Allison, you may need to keep your voice down because...

Allison! Are you okay?

Allison! The Lancasterjust called! We got the contract back!

Allison. Hi.

Also, if you're interested in taking in a Broadway show while you're here,

Amazing turn of events, Tamir Mafraad is being taken away.

America is number one!

An eco friendly flower section to the store.

An historic moment.

An outer layer of cocksucker,

ANCHORMAN: ...at which he won fourteen gold medals.

ANCHORMAN: Known for his iconic beard,

ANCHORMAN: Often described as ignorant,

ANCHORMAN: Tensions are rising as the stand off

ANCHORMAN: Tonight we ask... Who is General Aladeen?

ANCHORMAN: With pressure mounting,

ANCHORMAN: With the signing of the constitution tomorrow morning,

And children.

And clean energy, It will, it will.

And everybody's vote counts,

And everything she stands for.

And execute anybody who did not agree with me,

And finish composting the wheatgrass tailings, okay?

And fly over the Lancaster to spot its weaknesses.

And foreign interests to destroy my beloved Wadiya!

And go to Applebee's for the rest of your life!

And he doesn't wanna use violence, but he puts his violence into his dance.

And he expresses himself...

And he looks like a snitch on Miami Vice.

And he seems to have a pitcher of urine out.

And he will shpichs for a lifetime.

And he's fallen off the stage.

And he's walked right past the podium.

And how hard is it to put a bath mat down, Bin Laden?

And I forgot to give you the message.

And I kind of need you to hurry up, chief. Chop chop.

And I smacked it and I smacked it and I gave it a flick,

And I totally crashed!

And I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

And I've never been with a guy with a dick.

And in them, the victims of the bomb

And now, the world waits.

And open for business.

And out came my own labeneh!

And pack my book of medium level Sudoku.

And pack my book of medium level Sudoku.

And please stop using that organic deodorant.

And real elections in Wadiya!

And she takes lovers outside of her ethnic group.

And tell Viggo Mortensen he is on my radar'

And that is why I call for real democracy!

And the payload delivery systems.

And the spray hose has been tightly coiled.

And the wallet floats up.

And then a see through version of themselves

And then in order to talk, he has to put it back this way?

And then on the day of the event,

And then they discover an almond in his head,

And then you can make your own Iabeneh come out.

And then, literally, bounce right back and blow up Wadiya.

And they accuse me of being an international criminal?

And they say, "Why is there an almond in his head?"

And throw a couple of extra cranny b's on top, if you could,

And we are set to test the missile next week.

And we have to act like true Americans.

And when you peel it away,

And will certainly never be used

And Yankee Stadium.

And yet, it's strange.

And you don't mind the homo stuff,

And you just assume that he's hatching some violent plot'?

And you're wanted for war crimes!

And, Mr. Lao of PetroChina, you will have the lease on our shale reserves.

Any thoughts on what they might be saying, Mike?

Anyway, I'm going to hang up on you.

Apparently, I didn't get it.

Are arriving now to witness the creation of a democracy

Are my crimes any worse than hers?

Are you developing nuclear weapons?

Are you guys friends of the deceased?

Are you okay, my love'? What did you step on?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Are you serious right now?

Arrest the viper Tamir!

As he is currently drafting Wadiya's new constitution,

As opposed to the glass that I'm sure must be up there.

As Wadiya goes, so goes North Africa.

As your manager requested?

At the Lancaster Penthouse Ballroom in three days.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Bonus round. Mass grave.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to the Munich Olympics.

AUTOMATED VOICE: You've unlocked the suicide vest!

B.P., you will control the north.

Baby? The ambulance can't be here for 20 minutes. Can you hold it?

Be careful with that, sweetheart. Be careful.

Because I am a cockney.

Because I don't trust the advertising. I'm naturally suspicious.

Because I majored in Fem Lit!

Because I think my guy would be wearing a cloak.

Because I'm, like, the furthest thing from a racist.

Because it has as much potassium as three bananas.

Because no one has ever loved me!

Because this one is...

Because you have everybody executed who tells you anything.

Because you hold your eyes like that!

Before you or one of your sand monkey cousins takes it down.

Being Aladeen has its perks, does it not?

Beloved Oppressor, I have just received disturbing news

Beloved Oppressor, try to get some sleep.

Between the world community and the rogue North African nation of Wadiya

Bin Laden flooding the bathroom every time he showers...

Black person.

Bleach his skin, and shorten the penis.

Bloop.

BOTH: Five, four, three, two, one!

Burgers.

But before I do I have one very important question for you.

But democracy,

But from now on, it is my way

But he's in this working class place and no one understands him.

But I get the idea. Great idea! Yeah, You...

But I'm going to have to take a break for a little bit because

But I'm gonna torture you for free.

But I'm in the middle of the text.

But I'm staying here! I paid twenty dollars for the fucking Internet!

But if you give me your clothes

But in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say I hate A rabs.

But maybe could you finish doing this

But please try.

But soft and really mushy on the in.

But the big story today is the marriage of President Prime Minister

But the thought of her decapitated head actually upset me,

But where's the splash guard?

But would secretly be controlled by one person and his family.

But you need to take care of them by yourself.

But you'll be happy to know, the missile is now pointy!

By Wadiyan leader, Admiral General Aladeen.

By what police are now calling a "terrorism misunderstanding"

Can you get me that one?

Can you imagine that? Me? Working?

Captain Hook and Blackie.

Celebratory cuddle?

Check out this bad boy.

China is a democracy, too. (LAUGHS)

Chocolate covered versions of these.

CLAYTON: Rise and shine.

Clayton? I thought we were friends.

Clean up on aisle four!

Come here, my love.

Come here. I'm just so sorry! You're okay now.

Come on, push!

Come on, Supreme Leader! Make it rain! Make it rain!

Come on! Why won't this catch?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Congratulations. Living the American dream.

CROWD: (CHANTING) Aladeen! Aladeen!

CROWD: (CHANTING) He's not the legitimate leader!

CROWD: (CHANTING) Hey, hey, oh, oh! Aladeen has got to go!

CROWD: (CHANTING) Kill Aladeen, kill Aladeen, hey!

Deal.

Death to the tyrant!

Democracy

Democracy in Wadiya is just hours away,

Democracy is the worst!

Democracy kisses you because she wants to,

Democracy looks like a midget in a chemo wig.

Democracy, your mother called the other day

Democracy.

DENISE: Again, it's another attempt to say,

DENISE: It looks to be his own urine.

DENISE: That's Tamir Mafraad, A/adeen's trusted adviser,

DENISE: The people of Wadiya are celebrating

Did you get a chance to see Billy Elliot?

Did you suffer from sexual abuse?

Dignitaries from around the world

Do I know you?

Do you have nuclear weapons?

Do you know it's a fact that they cannot pronounce their R's?

Do you know it's a fact that they cannot pronounce their R's?

Do you not remember what my saintly father

Do you think you could get me 100 child soldiers here by 5:00 p.m.?

Do you want me to say this in front of his widow?

Do you want the Aladeen news or the Aladeen news?

Does anyone have any medical experience?

Does the Mad Dog of Wadiya have nuclear weapons?

Doing the jerk off.

Don't be like that.

Don't do anything to arouse any suspicions.

Don't do that with your eyes!

Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, little boy.

Don't worry, it's fine. Well done, my friend.

Don't worry, nobody gonna suspect anything. It's a great plan, pointy.

Don't worry. I am Wadiya's number one actor.

Don't worry. I'm 50% to blame.

Don't worry. Just relax.

Eccentric and with unlimited oil wealth,

EFAWADH: (ON SCREEN) This new constitution

Eh, don't worry!

Emploice what?

Emploice.

Emploice.,.Muswashans.

Endless talking and listening to every stupid opinion!

Enjoy it.

Etra.

Etra.

Even Ahmadinejad!

Ever since they shot his double last year.

Every eye in the room is on him right now.

Every single person you had executed is still alive.

Everybody has a price.

Everybody knows about this.

Everything to do with you! A lot of them wrote notes.

Excuse me!

Excuse me. What is that over there'?

Excuse me. You guys make a really cute couple together.

Exxon, you will have all offshore rights,

Finally, somebody who knows who I am.

Fine, but guess who's still living in my guest house?

Fine! I'll address them like they've never been addressed before.

Fine.

For a moment like this

For what?

For you.

From the mountaintops of Noflh Korea to the jungles of Zimbabwe,

From the Shah of Iran's garage sale?

General Aladeen was born the only son of the Colonel Aladeen,

General Aladeen will be signing the new Wadiyan constitution.

Get it outta there.

Get me clothes, little man.

Get out of here before Tamir kills you.

Get richer by cutting their taxes

Get this away from me!

Girls, show him your bosoms.

Give a man a vagina and he will shpichs for a day.

Give her a mouth bath. Go.

Give him one more for fun, Viktor.

Gobble on my bilbul and she said, "No."

Good choice.

Good night, Allison.

Good night! Thank you again.

Good one!

Great!

Great!

Great! I'd love to go! Maybe another time, you know.

Green World is shutting down their Manhattan store!

Green World is shutting down their Manhattan store!

Guess what? We deliver to the Lancaster!

Haffaz Aladeen was born in 1973.

Hannah, that guy from the Lancaster's coming tomorrow morning,

Has hairy armpits and could lose five pounds.

Hasan, Rock the door!

Have a seat, cousin.

Have you gone insane?

Have you spoken to the experts about this?

He changed over 300 Wadiyan words to ”Aladeen, "

He did not know his mother, who died in childbirth.

He gay? He suck my dick?

He may just be the most dangerous man in the entire world.

He recently hosted his own Olympic Games...

He was my negger. ******. Nagger?

He was my ******.

He was reported saying, "Let's take out the guards at the Lancaster."

He's an old fashioned movie star.

He's approaching the podium.

He's feeling ill.

He's from a Sudanese tribe that has no concept of money.

He's just like.“ (GRUNTS) I'm gonna express myself in my dance.

He's not the legitimate leader!

He's not the legitimate leader!

He's resting in his bedroom and must never, ever be disturbed.

He's trying to stop the signing!

He's very simple and backwards. I'm sorry,

HEAD SCIENTIST: Don't you remember?

Hello, Aladdin.

Hello, gentlemen. How you doin'?

Hello, gentlemen. How you doin'?

Hello, Nadal. Listen, I can't speak now.

Hello, person. Person.

Help! Help! I'm trapped under a glass ceiling!

Hey, Allison, can you take out the garbage? Thanks.

Hey, buddy, I saw that.

Hey, do you remember my favourite sports car?

Hey, have your old back problems been bothering you'?

Hey, hey, oh, oh! Aladeen has got to go!

Hey, my English is getting good...

Hey, my man! Excuse me. Hairnet!

Hey! What are you doing'? Where are you going?

Himself a savage and violent dictator.

Hire a limo, have some cocktails, bring my raping shoes.

His entire village was ransacked.

His message of don't worry and being happy

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on.

How am I gonna eat that?

How am I... Wait. You don't know'?

How are you alive?

How dare you question my memory? I remember everything!

How dare you?

How did it feel for you? How did it feel for you?

How did you find me?

How do you say, "Fly is in the soup"?

How is she to judge? She shaves her armpits once a year,

How much do you charge for assassinations?

How much time have they allotted me?

How would you even make that leap? Tamir to Dennis?

I am a bit of a cocksucker.

I am America's number one douche.

I am executing myself!

I am hanging up. Click! (MIMICS DIAL TONE SOUNDING)

I am here to deliver my speech to the United Nations.

I am interested. We are interested.

I am now 100% sure that you are watching cartoons.

I am so honored to be able to help you.

I am very stupid.

I can fix this. I have a new plan. We need to find a new double.

I can see it has a screw hole for one.

I can't believe it's happening to me

I can't hold it! It's coming out!

I cannot begin to tell you what an honor it is

I cannot believe I'm having this conversation with an adult man.

I cannot wait for you to sample our mafroom.

I despise you.

I did it! I just jerked it completely off!

I do not have any money on me,

I don't care.

I don't know how to speak Chinese.

I don't know what that is.

I don't know, I just feel so sorry

I don't know, I...

I don't like the people, but I like the way that

I don't touch myself. Do you touch yourself?

I don't understand what has happened.

I fell off me horse at the old Bull & Bush Pub

I found it heartwarming and life affirming.

I give it thumbs clown

I grabbed my bilbul like I was strangling a bird.

I have a message for Aladeen.

I have a perfectly good job here. I'm a Mac Genius!

I have decided to bestow upon you a gift.

I have great news

I have re engineered the oxidizing ducts

I have to be with the Italian Prime Minister tomorrow.

I have to show you how to do it.

I highly recommend a visit to the Empire State Building,

I highly recommend Billy Elliot.

I invented the pull up.

I just came.

I just want everything to be perfect.

I know this is hard for you Americans to imagine,

I know why this guy's the most hated man in the world.

I know. It's nice to kiss you, too.

I lost my beard!

I love being an Americans!

I love George Clooney!

I love it when women go to school.

I love the hugging.

I love you.

I love your music, by the way.

I managed to buy some beards at the wig store today that are perfect.

I mean, is every day in Iran casual Friday?

I mean, somebody had set the safety catch

I need a little of the quinoa salad, please,

I need the sheriff's badge.

I now know that on the outside,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

I pretty much haven't had a white boyfriend since high school.

I really want someone to cuddle.

I really want to be with you, Allison Burgers'

I return to Wadiya to participate in fair elections.

I saw him perform with the Globetrotters.

I see what you're doing, it's not cool.

I sentence you

I think I feel an arm!

I think most healthy people do, yes.

I think she'll be cool with it.

I think we found what you are looking for.

I thought he was outstanding. I befriended him.

I thought his name was Dennis.

I thought I made out the words "Harvey Keitel

I told you already, this is...

I told you, before we came in.

I took a feminist clown workshop once.

I urge you, right now, keep your performance small and real.

I want to hang up first.

I was downstairs self juicing.

I was his lover.

I was Wadiya's Chief Surgeon for the last 22 years.

I will be able to sell Wadiya's oil rights. Gazprom,

I will be supportive.

I will become the greatest dictator of all,

I will buy the house on Lake Como next to George Clooney's.

I will draft a new constitution for Wadiya

I will get you an identical beard and costume.

I will take no options off the table. And I mean what I say.

I will tell you what democracy is!

I won't put my finger away because...

I won't. I won't!

I wonder what could have happened?

I wonder what could have happened?

I would, but I simply cannot.

I... Yes.

I'll give you that one. I do look ridiculous.

I'll join you after I finish this level.

I'll make a sizable donation in your name to al Qaeda.

I'll see you tomorrow morning.

I'll shave my armpits for you.

I'll speak to you later, okay? Bye!

I'll talk for 14 hours!

I'll tell you later. They're hilarious.

I'm actually a little somebody called

I'm being paid to kill you.

I'm canceling that contract tomorrow!

I'm going to another question.

I'm going to enjoy this now.

I'm gonna kill you, and then I'm gonna burn your body.

I'm in New York!

I'm not chink, I'm Chinese American!

I'm not really Allison Burgers.

I'm pregnant.

I'm really sorry. I'm gonna have to take this call.

I'm so sorry! Listen, it was not my fault.

I'm so, so sorry that Whitney turned out like she did.

I'm sorry, you were doing what?

I've been on a spiritual journey, man, like Eat, Pray, Love.

I've been replaced by this body double who's a total imbecile.

I've discovered this amazing thing.

I've done my Iabeneh all over the wellness center.

I've got one that works by Bluetooth.

I've hung up. I hung up already.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.

If this constitution is signed,

If you do not stop using hateful language, you cannot work here.

If you lose enough weight, then the zipline will work.

Imagine if America was a dictatorship.

In a cellophane wrapped box. Delicious.

In fact, anyone from outside of America is technically an A rab.

In fact, I don't want to be a Dictator any more!

In their suicide notes they named you by name!

In this film, just one question,

In time.

Including the words "positive" and "negative," causing mass confusion.

Indulge me. For one second, pretend that I'm an idiot.

Inflate my neck pillow

Instead of you, the rightful heir.

Intensified today

Into supporting policies that are against their interests.

Involving a man named Emer Gencyexitonly.

Is going to be signing

Is my jet ready?

Is nothing but a license for oil companies

Is there a phone in my body?

Is there anything else in your pockets that could be weighing you down?

Is there anything else you're carrying? You're still too heavy.

It didn't come with a splash guard.

It feels so nice to kiss you.

It is about the payload delivery.

It is almost time.

It is too round on the top. It needs to be pointy.

It is. It's great, yeah.

It just makes me so mad!

It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

It was never to sell Wadiya's oil.

It was not to chop his head off!

It was so brave of you.

It was something very important about your grandmother.

It will be used only for medical research

It'd be nice if I got just a little bit of positive feedback about my tools

It's a hilarious story. I'll tell you later, okay?

It's actually been banned in Saudi Arabia for being too safe.

It's Aladeen! It's Aladeen without the beard!

It's all a rumor. And you're being silly.

It's amazing!

It's bad news.

It's called self juicing.

It's coming out!

It's fine. Please, gobble up my little mouse.

It's gonna be fine. You just need to ice it.

It's how they walk.

It's impossible. We can't compete with Green World.

It's like a 10 year old boy's.

It's like seeing a monkey on rollerskates.

It's me, Admiral General Aladeen!

It's my people's tradition. We always smash a glass at weddings.

It's not a very good...

It's not great stuff. That's like 1972, hello.

It's ok, I've already ordered a new one.

It's okay. Don't worry. You're having a rough day.

It's out! And it's pointy!

It's racist, what you are doing!

It's the season finale

It's very rude not to look at somebody in the eye when they're talking to you.

It's Vita Coco water.

Jachnoon. Nadal. I have to be back at the palace in an hour.

Joseph! go and hose down my Crocs.

Just do like a pull up. You know how you do pull ups'?

Just girls.

Just give me a couple of millimeters to myself.

Just give us... We don't...

Just go up from where you are.

Just jump. It's not that far.

Just like Wadiya's going to be soon!

Just suck the fatoot of the biggest guy, you'll be fine.

Justin Bieber's chubby double!

Kill Aladeen, kill Aladeen, hey!

Kimberly?

L did it all by myself!

L like goats.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,

Ladis Washerum.

Ladis what?

Ladis.

Let every child laborer and sweatshop factory worker sing,

Let's bring in Denise, our U.N. correspondent.

Let's do another hug, okay?

Let's go.

Let's now look back at the wonderful events of the past year.

Let's see how you feel about racial profiling when white people...

Lie back.

Like Castro or Gandalf.

Listen to me. Okay?

Listen, hold onto that badge. It's the only thing that'll get you past security.

Listen, I understand that you're having urges, okay?

Listen, I'm thinking of revealing my true identity

Listen, just show me another one.

Listen, while you're here,

Listen! Listen, okay?

Listen.

Literally, baby noises.

Live together in perfect harmony

Look, Admiral, it's too hot for crazy.

Look, I mean, this whole gun...

Look, it's me!

Look, where has being a nice guy gotten you, huh?

Look, you alone can stop these terrible things from happening

Looking at the sights.

Looks like we need to find a new double.

Losing power has stopped me up like a cork.

Love it!

Luckily the bullet hit him in the brain.

Made me promise him on his deathbed?

Made this boy grow tits!

MAN: Help!

Mansaf!

Maroush, I think I dropped an almond in his head.

Max what?

Max.

May I remind you that his only real job is to be shot in the head.

Maybe he wanted to take the guards out for a falafel!

Maybe they shared a hot dog together, I'm thinking?

Me? Work for that hairy titted yeti?

Megan, you were worth every penny.

MIKE: And he's returning to the podium.

MIKE: And now in another

MIKE: Don't know what that meant.

MIKE: I believe he just urinated in the pitcher.

MIKE: If you're just joining us, we are at the Lancaster Hotel,

MIKE: Just moments away now from putting his signature

Mmm, no, a bit more.

Mmm. You were super hot.

Mostly, I clean semen out of laptops.

MR. LAO: The double that you found is good.

Mrs. Lao, it is my very great pleasure.

Much has been made of the hostility between our countries.

My father also from U.S.A.

My friend chopped the head off Morgan Freeman.

My great grandfather fought in the American Civil Jihad.

My guy has a limp.

My name is Ala...son.

My performance in Aladeen Jones and the Temple of Doom

My pockets are empty. I could poo.

Myself? What? How'?

Nadal, are you still there?

Nadal, you must help me get back into power.

NADAL: (ON PHONE) What are you doing?

NADAL: Mmm mmm! That's some good head!

Nadal! The Sub Saharans have discovered us!

Nadal?

Name it.

Never!

Never. It must be pointy.

Next!

Next!

Nice to meet you, Allison Burgers.

Nice to see you, too

No matter how crippled or black or female they are.

No one will recognize the body without this!

No, come on. This is like a real opportunity for me.

No, he is not my best friend!

No, I am not going to do that.

No, I know this!

No, I literally can't hear you.

No, I would never do that! Never! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.

No, I'm going to Green World. It's over.

No, I've realized I don't want to be like my father!

No, it's a different person.

No, it's not. I know what a "C" means.

No, no, no, it's more of a power trip with me.

No, no, no, no! That's what we wanted!

No, no, no, no. She does not speak English.

No, no, no! It's not my beard.

No, no, no! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. No, no, no!

No, no, no! Zoey, Zoey, Zoey! No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Please, don't.

No, no.

No, no.

No, no. Stay, please.

No, Supreme Leader.

No, that's not the way to put it.

No, that's what I said, and you went crazy.

No, this is Bobby McFerrin. I told you this outside.

No, those are just rumors. Are you a homosexual?

No, what's your real name?

No, your guy wears an American flag sweatsuit and a sheriff's badge.

No, Zoey! What have I ever done wrong?

No!

No!

No!

No! Get it out of here!

NO! No!

No! No! Supreme Leader!

No! This traitor tried to kill me and had my beard removed!

No.

No.

No.

No. It sticks in the ground, and then kaboom.

No. That is not true.

No. Your time is up.

No... (SIGHS)

Nobody... It's stup...

Nonsense. They were research films.

Normally, I don't kiss a 10 year old boy's stomach. (LAUGHS)

Not a water birth, but I've seen a water death.

Not because her father is in the next room chained to a radiator

Not male ones. Female ones.

Nothing to do with me.

Now that is called payback!

Now who's being a Iacist?

Now, show me my nuclear weapons!

Now, slowly move your hand up and down.

Nuclear winter.

O M G.

Of course I don't want you to play black.

Of course I remember!

Of course I'm not. This is silly.

Of course! It is my job to be shot in the head.

Of Real Housewives of Shachahmahahfalimitahlicchl

Of the entire region.

Oh, be quiet.

Oh, he's not going to recover, sir. He's dead.

Oh, I can hear you now.

Oh, I'm sorry! Did I not get the Evite to your bar mitzvah?

Oh, it's been terrible! It got so bad that I made myself a back brace.

Oh, it's not amazing. It's just a little less shit.

Oh, lam from U.S.A.!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! There's a little goat eating the wire!

Oh, my...

Oh, my...

Oh, no!

Oh, she taught you, did she?

Oh, that is weird.

Oh, that's not bad. The Kandahar Cock Wrench.

Oh, the Fallujah Firehose!

Oh, this is Joseph.

Oh, wait. I got it. Humor. Right?

Oh, yeah, we're going to have a nice big salad. (SCREAMS)

Oh, yes! No, no.

Oh, you know what, there's some in the Earthquake Relief box

Oh, you're kidding. So then why did you bring three bananas?

Oh! No!

Oh. No, no. Thank you. Um...

Oh. So, um,

Oh. What do you do?

Oh...

Okay, Allison, you've got the head?

Okay, come with me.

Okay, compromise. Conical.

Okay, don't do that.

Okay, Eldridge's casket is laying in the chapel right now.

Okay, fine. I will help you. On one condition.

Okay, he's returning to the podium.

Okay, I'll do Filipino. I like to work, I like to talk.

Okay, only wife. We'll vote on it.

Okay, so, now we're getting somewhere.

Okay, thanks.

Okay, that came off as kind of offensive.

Okay!

Okay? You will take that job and you will work for her.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.